Do you need background info?
One of my friends had an awkward first date recently. The guy was a “referral” from her co-worker, so he was basically a blind date set up. The fact that he knew a boatload of personal information about her on their first date bothered her, though.
She is extremely private at work, so the co-worker was not privy to some of the things her date knew. It turns out that the guy went on a little fact minding mission before he met her. The co-worker only gave him her first and last name and what school she went to.
One quick (too quick?) Facebook search and he spotted a connection. Someone he went to school with was related to my friend. I don’t know which is creepier, the effort he put into get some background information – or the fact that he told her how much he “already discovered” about her.
Listen, I am sure this guy has a perfectly good explanation for going through great lengths to screen my friend. Perhaps he has a psycho ex. Maybe he has had his pet rabbit boiled in a revenge plot. I get it. He doesn’t want to be hurt again! I have to ask, though, do you think he went too far?
Would you consider it a red-flag if someone you just met knew waaaaay too much information about you? Would you go out with this person again if that was the only thing that turned you off?
Have you ever used Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. to “get a better sense” of someone’s personality? Did it make you rethink dating them?
I swear, Facebook is a blessing and curse for dating..at the same time.
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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221 comments Add your comment
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
12:31 pm
MissMoni says,’Durty,let me clear my summer schedule LOL (so u can SMH) Smash My Honey.
disco
March 21st, 2013
12:34 pm
leggs – not calling him cheap. just joking. didn’t he used to do ads for buick?
MissMoni
March 21st, 2013
12:34 pm
-Exiled Now you know that’s NOT what I meant, LOL!!! Isn’t it fun to change the meaning of well known acronyms???
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
12:40 pm
Ya’ll got me cracking up on what she was possibly doing in the car for an hour. I would’ve preferred to ride somewhere else until he was done unless I was hungover and needed to grab a few zzzz’s until he was ready.
Bluzgirl
March 21st, 2013
12:44 pm
Crazy busy today! Haven’t even had a chance to read through everything.
I don’t even know if ya’ll are still on topic, but I find nothing wrong with Googling someone to see what you can find. You just don’t tell them you did that. Heck…the other day, I Googled my close friend’s psycho ex and found a few mugshots. I think I’d like to know if there are recent mugshots of a man before I date him!!!
Don’t know if I’ll get a chance to check in later…if not, then I hope ya’ll have a nice afternoon
DuShawn
March 21st, 2013
12:44 pm
She should’ve got that shammy out and wiped the whip down and put some amor all on the tires. That’s how you show your man your value.
Button
March 21st, 2013
12:55 pm
disco -Durty – I need you, you need me, we’re all apart of……
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
12:57 pm
SlimNu…how u gonna prefer ride someone’s else while you are in boyfriend’s car?
Girl that’s durtey!!
Durty Burd ( March Madness is about to start)
March 21st, 2013
12:58 pm
Damm,Damm,Damm SMH does not mean smash my honey…
Ex- With MissMoni, I would take my time to get to know this beautifule lady. No smashing unless given the signal or asked. That’s how I do it…Nice and slow..
Lindsey Vonn was on looking for some background information on Tiger while she was in the car. She went on dontdatehim.com and found out he was a freak and she was like that is my kinda man.
I agree with DU she should wiped down the Buick with some amor all, then order him some lunch and have it delivered on her dime. Now she can come to the mansion and play with the Driver.
MissMoni
March 21st, 2013
1:04 pm
-Durty If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are virtually flirting with me. . .
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
1:06 pm
The only problem with Tiger’s girl conduct is just the aspect of being juggled…which men do to women All the damn time.
That is the only problem I see with staying in the car for an hour.
I have stayed with a woman in a car for an hour…smashing then smash again
and I have driven to her folks place because she had some business there..stated outside in the xar while she went in to see her folks,then drove her to the crib…smash
Like I said…there was no inconvenience there…and she likes dude…
When a woman does not have a man she’s gon say stuff…bottom-line
When a woman is cleaning the dome nightly…she’s gon go the extra mile…
Its FACT!
Button
March 21st, 2013
1:08 pm
Ex – yous so nasty!
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
1:13 pm
Ex – Only because I’m bored, am I even responding. I only meant if that were me in her position, nutt!!! And I did help put some armor all on the beau’s tires last week when we washed our cars
DuShawn
March 21st, 2013
1:21 pm
I have waited over an hour, in the car, for a woman before and I didn’t have a problem with it at all…..when she returned, she said she was not pregnant anymore………and we drove out the clinic parking lot.
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
1:23 pm
SlimNu…1:13pm Ofcourse!!
because beau does a good job oiling ur behind!
if he didn’t do it properly or his arrow was broke u wld dismiss him ‘I ain’t got non to do witchu!!’
Button
March 21st, 2013
1:28 pm
Dushawn – wtf!! TMI
DuShawn
March 21st, 2013
1:29 pm
I’m just saying…..Men wait in cars too…lol
abc
March 21st, 2013
1:37 pm
I don’t know if I’d do it before a blind date (not so blind, as the case may be), but I’d do it sooner or later. Part of my profession is computer and network forensics. Checking facebook is pretty minimal, really — the stuff I’d run is much, much more invasive, and often has nothing to do with what one may publicly post. Here’s what it is: people hide a lot more from others than you could possibly imagine. It’s pretty rare to encounter people who are truly what they convey themselves to be.
But, the social networking universe exists to satisfy 2 basic human traits: exhibitionism and voyeurism. Kind of difficult to condone someone embracing one while condemning the other.
Button
March 21st, 2013
1:43 pm
This is just crazy!!!!! I can’t even tell a story on this blog about someone else??? wow But others can tell stories from what they’ve heard from a radio??? DISCRIMINATION!!!!!!
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
1:43 pm
I have waited over an hour, in the car, for a woman before and I didn’t have a problem with it at all…..when she returned, she said she was not pregnant anymore………and we drove out the clinic parking lot.
I just spit some of my fish onto the keyboard. Man, that was funny!
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
1:46 pm
Button, what have I missed? You’re being blasted for telling a story? What story? Fill me in, pls.
Button
March 21st, 2013
1:46 pm
LOL for me being monitored! WOW I didn’t know it was that serious, it’s not as if I’m getting paid!
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
1:52 pm
Gotcha
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:04 pm
Button – is WD monitoring you or sending you warning emails or something? I’m a little lost here…
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:15 pm
slim / leggs / button – I’m lost too. what’s really going on?
Button
March 21st, 2013
2:21 pm
SlimNu- I’m just as lost as you are, all I know is I can’t tell a story not dealing with me without it being rejected. maybe I should say I heard it on the radio. lol
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
2:23 pm
Seems like there is a lesbian thing going on…
@Button?
DuShawn
March 21st, 2013
2:28 pm
Seriously though, whenever there is a blended family, there are always awkward moments when everyone gets together. Even when everyone is cool with each other’s situation, there is always that underlying tension. Example, while in Orlando this weekend, one of the bruz was having a birthday party for his little girl and invited Wifey and I to stop by. They did it big in his back yard, clowns, face painting, two big bounce houses, kids in the pool, Grills smoking, dj jamming, it was nice. My dog introduced me to his daughter and her mother (his ex), but he was also accompanied by his current lady. He introduced me to her shortly thereafter. Both women were very respectful of each other, but you could sense the tension between the two. The dynamic between them was entertaining for me. I observed as periodically each one would try to out due the other vying for his attention and time. He escaped them both by hanging with us and vibin with his daughter.
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:28 pm
Hmmm, there must be a way around it. This place needs a pick-me-up…..too much time left in the day to have one post every 20 minutes. Such a waste of a refresh lol
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:30 pm
dushawn – if those chicks were vying for his time and attention that situation hasn’t grown to where it needs to be. either he and the ex are still getting it in or the new chick suspects that they are. maybe the new chick is the one that he left the ex for and that’s the source of the animosity. all that bday drama isn’t the result of a blended family. to me it sounds like the results of a sloppy man.
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:30 pm
Ex – You sure you aren’t the person the letter was about on this morning’s radio show? The wife wrote in saying how her hubby used to be a drug addict but now his focus is sex, sex, sex & p0rn all the time????
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:32 pm
DuS – Folks are just plain territorial….often times more so women than men. (it seems anyway)
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
2:32 pm
I understand Du…its like my situation..if u want to see a frown on Queen’s face just mention my baby mama.
and she has Never met her!
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:35 pm
disco – I think it’s rare to find a situation where the current and the ex actually get a long and all is cool without the underline tension. RARE….
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:35 pm
Ex – are you paying her? the baby momma? that’s enough to put a frown on anybody’s face. lol.
slim – territorial? sure but I figure you’ve either moved on or you haven’t. if you have, why you sweating it. if you haven’t I understand why you are sweating it. as for the new chick, if she’s sweating it she’s not secure in her position yet.
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
2:39 pm
SlimNu….coulda have been me but for the drug addict part.
The closest addiction to drugs I have is coffee..
Disco..no payment goung to her……do I look or sound like a sucker?
Durty Burd ( You gotta love Mai)
March 21st, 2013
2:40 pm
MissMoni I am virtually flirting with you
This is called A Summer with MissMoni
MissMoni rest assurred I will not require nor perform a background check, see I want to experience getting to know in personal. As we get to know each I hopefully will become your type. There will not be any reason to discuss the magic number or when you are ready, I will look at you as a new fresh bloom rose and or chemistry, plus medical papers will tell us when you are ready, this will help eliminate this condom nonsense. Yes, MissMoni I wait with great anticipation for summer with you..So come let me wine and dine you and put a smile on your mind, soul and body. You got me saying my, my, my, my, my u sure look good tonight!
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:42 pm
slim – I agree it is rare. just saying I don’t necessarily get it. I, for one, don’t try to put time in with folks I ain’t feeling. I’m dating a dude and don’t like his baby momma then I’ll just stay away from his baby momma. chick ain’t got nothing to do with me.
ex – is that a trick question?
moni – what you do to durty?
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:44 pm
disco – You’re right but i’m sure there could be some other reasons in there. Just never know and thank goodness I haven’t really had to deal with baby mama’s.
DuShawn
March 21st, 2013
2:45 pm
Disco – I didn’t notice any animosity or drama. Nor do I think bruh is messy with his affairs. It was real grown up to have everyone there and all behaved. I noticed the interaction between the two chicks because was I intentionally observing their behavior. It was not that obvious to others. I thought both handled themselves with class, although they were making their littler private power moves, unbeknownst to most.
Durty Burd ( You gotta love Mai)
March 21st, 2013
2:47 pm
Disco women tend to have those emotional moments. They may state they can handle a situation but let the ex start having flashbacks like I use to be the queen in this camp, then the competing starts. I have seen it many times. If you cannot control your emotions you will get a scene like Du just described.
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
2:48 pm
dushawn – if those chicks were vying for his time and attention that situation hasn’t grown to where it needs to be. – Exactly, disco. Why is the ex even trying to vye for his attention?
Women kill me trying to mentally strong arm the current woman trying tolet them know they have clout simply because they’re the mother of his child. Be the parent and go sit your arse down or go get your face painted because you’re already looking like a clown.
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:48 pm
D – if they were making power moves there is animosity even if it’s low key, subtle animosity. trust. lol.
MsAtl
March 21st, 2013
2:48 pm
Slim- You want a pick-me-up? This will tie into DuShawn’s post. My ex (while we were in the middle of divorce) showed up unannounced at his mistress’ husband’s house (while the mistress was still married, no divorce pending) for the mistress’ and her husband’s child’s birthday party. The mistress was pregnant by my ex at the time and was the doctor of the mistress and her husband. How’s that for excitement? lol
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
2:50 pm
SlimNu ~ I caught the tailend of the letter this morning. If that woman believes she’s being raped and he’s such a glutton for the sex, she needs to leave. How can you complain so vehemently and stay! Shut up and deal with it or speak up and get out!
disco
March 21st, 2013
2:51 pm
ms atl – that’s not excitement, that’s a soap opera. lol.
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
2:51 pm
DAYUM, Durty, your behind is SPRUNG!!!
Leggs
March 21st, 2013
2:56 pm
Now, that is a hot freaking mess, MsAtl.
Why would your ex even want to show up? Showing up unannouced at their child’s bday party and knowingly walking into trouble, in another man’s house, get’s foot in your behind and a deserved butt whupping! He must have fallen and bumped his head, had amnesia and only remembered that one house. Had to be.
SlimNu
March 21st, 2013
2:58 pm
MsATL – Daaaaayyyyyyyum Gina!!! Sounds like an episode of Desperate Housewives or something
Leggs – That was my same thought to use a word so strong as “rape” to discribe the sexual interaction with your husband is crazy….She needs to have BEEN gone, and not still pondering on “Almost fed up”
Exiled
March 21st, 2013
3:00 pm
The only time a woman ex is non detached and not emotionally invested is if she was benched and dude and new chic are worse off….
If dude is glowing and new chic is glowing and showing out,trust ex is frowning and hating