Dating: What is your type?
When it comes to attraction in dating, is it about “I like what I like” or is there something else involved? I ask because I wonder how we figure out what our type is and how do we know who is not our type? Is it after trial and error, dating different people and trying them on to see how they “fit”?
What is the appeal of those you feel are your type? When you get past looks, how do you decide who is compatible to you and your personality?
When one of my guy friends broke up with his long-term girlfriend, he went through his video vixen phase. Suddenly his type became women who were “light” on personality, but heavy on booty, body, and brass. His ex was nothing like this, so he clearly wanted a change in type to help get over her. I am waiting to see if he returns to what he is most comfortable with or if his future Miss Right will be the vixen type. Not really judging, just wondering, what do guys like about the type of women they pursue?
How do we figure out what our type is and when do we definitely know who is not our type?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
215 comments Add your comment
MsAtl
March 19th, 2013
12:26 pm
Sexy- I learned a few months ago that “shole lis” is the country way of saying sure is, lol.
Leggs
March 19th, 2013
12:28 pm
Sext Tool ~ just another way of saying “sure” but with emphasis. Like fine is FOINE! Got it, get it, good!
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 19th, 2013
12:29 pm
It’s an ethnic-onym…lol
SlimNu
March 19th, 2013
12:34 pm
Ebonics perhaps lol
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 19th, 2013
12:35 pm
Have a good day folks…I’m headed out to meet my boo for lunch
SlimNu
March 19th, 2013
12:54 pm
O/T (not that there currently is one) but did anyone see Dancing with the Stars, last night? I heard how bad Dl Hughley did so I googled it. Man, that dude is STIFF!!!
Exiled
March 19th, 2013
12:54 pm
Hazel…wow that man married a beotch!
Tell her to advise him to try licking it. For an Indian that would be a real leap!
Maybe she will get to luv him knowing his other limb can provide some semblance of excitement.
I am surprised a married woman can be so back stabbing against her hubby.. to just a ‘friend’
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
1:21 pm
disco, I’m just catching up, but I can tell you how I handled it.
My ex told me that I really wasn’t her type, and if she had meet me under different circumstances she wouldn’t have given me the time of day. While I didn’t have a problem with what she said, the problem I had is that I heard on more than one occasion, but I never heard it followed by, I’m happy that I did meet you.
MsAtl
March 19th, 2013
1:29 pm
Single- So I take it that is why she is your ex? I would have been miffed too. Okay, you weren’t her type initially, it is what it is, but at some point her type should have been you if you get what I’m saying.
abc
March 19th, 2013
1:31 pm
Exes are exes. But for the kids we had, we may as well have never met, as far as what it is today, that is to say, it’s as if we never met — and that’s just fine, really. They almost never come to mind. Exes for a reason.
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
1:35 pm
MsAtl, yep I get it.
that always stayed in the back of my mind, and it could have been fixed by those few words.
Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )
March 19th, 2013
1:39 pm
Enter your comments here
kimmie
March 19th, 2013
1:47 pm
Single – See that’s the kind of stuff folks can keep to themselves! I’ve had dudes say the same type of stuff, and then wonder why things went downhill after that. I had one to say some mess like “You know at first I really didn’t find you that attractive”. It was like, okay over time I grew on him! Why the need to even make a comment like that?
Into the Light
March 19th, 2013
1:51 pm
Afternoon, all!
What’s good, y’all?
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
1:52 pm
Kimmie, I didn’t have a problem with it the first time, because I’ve heard it so much until I’ve grown immune to it, but to to hear it again and again, “Houston we have a problem”
kimmie
March 19th, 2013
1:58 pm
Single – I agree. Not doing you any favors!
Into the Light
March 19th, 2013
2:07 pm
Hello, hello, hello…..is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me……is there anyone home?
MsAtl
March 19th, 2013
2:12 pm
Kimmie- I was told that had we met on the street he would not have approached me because I had that NY mean mug on. I can respect that because I did not know that was the vibe I was giving off. It was said once and left alone. But to tell someone you did not find them attractive at first? Ummm, yeah, like you said that is the type of thing you keep to yourself because obviously you got with the person despite that. If it does not help, advance, or improve or if you have no solution and it may actually hurt, the general rule is to keep it to yourself.
Bluzgirl
March 19th, 2013
2:17 pm
Hi ITL!!!! What’s good with you?
cba
March 19th, 2013
2:18 pm
ITL, have you fully recovered from your accident? Hope so.
MsAtl
March 19th, 2013
2:21 pm
Lol. Hi ITL. Hope you’re healed.
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:21 pm
okay. I’m not seeing what’s so “painful” about a person saying that they didn’t find you that attractive at first. maybe you aren’t that attractive to them but they are into your inner beauty. lol. isn’t that what folks are always claiming is important? what’s on the inside? lol.
MsAtl
March 19th, 2013
2:26 pm
Disco- I’m not saying that particular comment was painful, merely that it was unnecessary. I’m saying there may be other comments that hurt and do not need to be said.
SlimNu
March 19th, 2013
2:26 pm
disco – I guess it’s just a blow to the ego to hear someone say you didn’t INSTANTLY turn them on, ruffle their feathers, make their mouth drop open….hell, I didn’t like my ex when i first met him. However, after having to be around each other for 8hrs a day, we got to know each other and they boy was super funny, full of personality and had a good heart (the inside) lol
Leggs
March 19th, 2013
2:27 pm
SlimNu ~ D.L. should be thankful he hasn’t knocked Master P of the worst dancer perch. He was horrible.
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:30 pm
ms atl – I get it. still, in my opinion, it’s just words. y’all are cool. what? he can’t tell you the truth about what he really thought or thinks? it’s the same as the “does this make me look fat” question. is it always supposed to be about what you want to hear? lol.
slim – re good heart. I always laugh when I hear that because folks always talk about my brother with the good heart. dude ain’t worth a dime but it’s all good because his heart is in the right place. go figure.
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:31 pm
disco, if you going to tell me that you didn’t find me attractive at first, I can look over the first time, but if you’re going to tell me again, or tell someone in my presence and don’t follow it up with anything good, then it’s something that doesn’t need to be said. Remember I’m short, and I get “you have to be this tall to ride this ride!!” all the time, which I have reminded some of them of after I got off the ride (LOL)
cba
March 19th, 2013
2:31 pm
As my “big ma” would say, if you aint got nuttin good to say, be quiet. But if I were in the dating world, I would want someone to shoot straight like disco. If you don’t want to be bothered, hell just say so!
SlimNu
March 19th, 2013
2:35 pm
disco – When you say your brothers heart is in the right place, does that simply mean it’s behind his left br e a s t plate
Exiled
March 19th, 2013
2:36 pm
If they say ‘I did not find u attractive at first,’ that’s actually good!
Because they qualified the statement by saying ‘at first’…
The problem with that statement is two things:
1. It mustn’t be said to somebody with Low self esteem…because they will want to pester the purveyor of the statement ask him/her,’why didn’t u…blah blah blah?’…that will go downhill very quick. If it is said with true intent,it is a pretty harmless and good statement. For a man,I would advise u not to say it to Any woman because most women are so self conscious so they will want explanations anyway.
2 the statement has problems especially if the purveyor has not though the statement thru. U gotta mean exactly that! I guess for most,inside,the current person fell on them as a space filler so they can’t say that. They would rather couch the statement that way to make it palatable to them and not the other person since they are Now with this person here. It makes them kinda feel okay bout it. That they say it repeatedly,if they do means they’re not Happy!
(don’t worry,I read minds in my spare time)
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:38 pm
cba – that was one of those phrases that I absolutely hated.
s/h – gotcha. that’s when you get into one of those “one more ‘gin” situations that we discussed recently. lol.
slim – child I don’t be checking for my brother’s heart. everyone else does though. he’s the one everyone loves, I’m the one everyone can’t stand. lol. I talk too much. my mouth is too smart. I think I know everything. boy I could go on and on.
Exiled
March 19th, 2013
2:38 pm
thought
Leggs
March 19th, 2013
2:38 pm
Some people just have to grow on you. Sometimes it’s not an instant connection.
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:39 pm
CBA, telling me you don’t want to be bothered in the begging is not a problem, but 2 to 3 years in the relationship?? do I really need to know then!
Leggs
March 19th, 2013
2:41 pm
SlimNu ~ I was going to mention the only right place the heart can be in, but I see you “done did it.” I head someone in the cafeteria say “you done did it” and all I could do was snicker.
kimmie
March 19th, 2013
2:43 pm
Disco – I didn’t say it was painful. I get that everyone won’t find me attractive. I thought it was tacky to say. He wasn’t exactly all that to look at himself, far from it as a matter of fact, and his wang wasn’t all that, but I have the class not to say the first thing that pops in my head!!
DuShawn
March 19th, 2013
2:44 pm
I would want someone to shoot straight ……..Reminds me of Wifey this weekend. I ask her “Baby, you think your man got some good “D”? she got the nerve to answer (jokingly……….I hope) “Somtimes”. A few hours later we were shopping, she gets to the cashier and looks at me and ask “Baby you got some money?” I replied…….”Sometimes”.
SlimNu
March 19th, 2013
2:45 pm
Leggs – Uh-oh, now i’m going to start saying that….You done did it now!
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:46 pm
Some people just have to grow on you. Sometimes it’s not an instant connection. Which is why you see some couples that you wonder how did these people get together, While they may not have been attracted to each other, some were in a setting where they spent a lot of time together and got to know each others true personality because there was no need to try and impress. You can grow to love someone over time
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:46 pm
s/h – I have an ex that I’m still cool with. we go way way back. I started in on telling him that I wish I had met his brother first. even now I’ll throw that out there every now and again. he absolutely hates it. I’ll be going on and on to him or other chicks or whoever is around about how his brother is this that or the other. lol. boy you can almost see smoke coming out of his ears. I can just be like “tell your brother I said what’s up” and he’ll shoot daggers at me. lol. yeah. you can see I get a kick out of it.
Exiled
March 19th, 2013
2:46 pm
Dushawn!
U stoopid!
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:48 pm
kimmie – you saw my painful was in quotes. lol. I was just putting it out there that I didn’t see it as a big deal.
ex – thing is dushawn and his wife both could very well have been telling the truth.
kimmie
March 19th, 2013
2:50 pm
Plus, you just had to be there to see the look on his face when he said it to me & how. He kind did one of those quick head to toe lookovers & his expression was kinda “yeah I guess you alright”.
I’m not one of these stupid women that would ask “do these pants make me look fat?” I didn’t ask this dude if he found me attractive or not. And Exiled my self-esteem has always been quite in tact.
Either you all get it was low-class for him to say or you don’t.
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:52 pm
Disco, this girl I mess around with introduced to her sister, man she was fine, needless to say I put it on her that day, but my mind was somewhere else (LOL)
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:52 pm
lol. kimmie – I’m cracking up. he had the nerve to look you up and down with it too. that’s too funny because the look alone is enough to make a fight jump off. lol.
Into the Light
March 19th, 2013
2:54 pm
Hi Bluz!!!
Ms. Atl/cba: Thanks for the well wishes. I am healing well, thanks.
disco
March 19th, 2013
2:55 pm
s/h – I was never checking for his brother like that. I just loved that it bothered him so much. I own it.
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:55 pm
ITL, what’s up crip?? (LOL)
Single and Happy
March 19th, 2013
2:56 pm
disco, we’re just cut buddies, so it was no biggie, and I still would never say anything to her about it.
Into the Light
March 19th, 2013
2:59 pm
Daaaaang, Stamps! LOL