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Dating: What is your type?

When it comes to attraction in dating, is it about “I like what I like” or is there something else involved?  I ask because I wonder how we figure out what our type is and how do we know who is not our type? Is it after trial and error, dating different people and trying them on to see how they “fit”?

What is the appeal of those you feel are your type? When you get past looks, how do you decide who is compatible to you and your personality?

When one of my guy friends broke up with his long-term girlfriend, he went through his video vixen phase.  Suddenly his type became women who were “light” on personality, but heavy on booty, body, and brass.  His ex was nothing like this, so he clearly wanted a change in type to help get over her.  I am waiting to see if he returns to what he is most comfortable with or if his future Miss Right will be the vixen type.  Not really judging, just wondering, what do guys like about the type of women they pursue?

How do we figure out what our type is and when do we definitely know who is not our type?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

215 comments Add your comment

Lee

March 19th, 2013
7:24 am

I do not like Italian or spanish men- will not go out with them don’t care what they have what they look like etc… so i guess my type is anyone who isn’t Italian or Spanish.

Exiled

March 19th, 2013
7:36 am

My type is tallish,long wrapping legs(obvious why),generous solid teottos(thnk u abc for the abc), lips that seem to bend outward(I just imagine them wrapping thangs nicely) and if she is gap toothed or even bare gummed,I think that’s heaven! I can get her some removable dentures(aren’t they All removable).

She would be such an awesome stress reliever!

Hey MIA!

Single and Happy

March 19th, 2013
7:36 am

Hello all

Don’t have a certain type, just know what it is, and what it aint when I meet them!!

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
8:15 am

I’m working from home today :mrgreen:

I like what I like. I’m not so much “hung up” on looks. Don’t think I’ve ever really was. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize a good looking man and have dated my fair share, but I can’t say I’ve been “hung up” on that, because I always found those to be the ones that brought drama…lol I can say I didn’t so much do “drama dudes” when I was younger and DEFINITELY ain’t doing dude drama now :)

What I’ve always liked or deemed “my type”, were crisp, well put together, clean cut, hard working men. Always have. And whether it’s hanging a suit or hawt in jeans, I like what I like :) And even though someone clowned me about posting the sweater back during the holidays from Brooks Brothers’ site, for being too squared I guess, it’s what I like!

What I can’t do or is NOT my type? A LAZY DUDE!! I don’t care how fine, well put together, how well you put it down, etc etc etc., I don’t have the time or patience for that.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
8:28 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!!!

I like him tall, handsome & intelligent. Nothing worse than feeling that you have to dumb down your conversation because he doesn’t understand what you’re saying. I want him to be able to stimulate my MIND as well as my body.

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
8:32 am

And while you can’t tell grown folk how to dress or what to wear, I definitely ain’t feeling a dude beyond his prime still hanging on. From the “hip” lingo to “tryna keep up.” Nuh uh, that is soooo not a good look on a 40 or 50 year old cat (or woman for that matter), tryna act like a teeny bopper. And I believe you can look good, keep young (not the same as hanging on), keep fit, but that dang so ain’t the same as you and your kids running in the same circle, hanging out together, so forth and so on. Oh, and the dude with grandkids still tryna get his recording contract or land a gig rapping…lololol I agree with the statement of acting and looking age appropriate.

Again, just my little humble opinion and preference. Not knocking what anyone else likes.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
8:34 am

-Celisea I’m LOL, but you are sooooo on point with your assessment. I agree absolutely NOTHING cute or attractive about any of that!!!

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
8:43 am

MissMoni, honey it just goes over so much better to move gracefully with time….”gracefully” being key. You ain’t gotta turn into an old fogie and you can still look good, be fit and all that good stuff. But, to be grabbing your crotch and acting like you don’t have one drop of good sense, flexing, still in talk on your rapping career (when everybody else has marched on), etc etc etc is sooooo much of a turn off. Imma run the other way and with the quickness…lololol

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 19th, 2013
8:46 am

Morning Fam…….

I have only two absolutes when it comes to dating……. No weaves, and she can not weigh more than I do….

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
9:01 am

What I like is a gentleman who respects the woman standing in front of him. Respect should be front and center and should only be taken AWAY when it’s deemed she’s put herself in a position where she no longer deserves your respect.

You don’t have to be handsome, but you can’t hurt my eyes either. I like a man who is empathetic, sociable, intelligent and wears shoes! You might laugh, but a grown man always wearing sneakers is not cool.

Morning.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
9:01 am

-Courtside I can honestly say that I don’t want my guy to have weave either, LOL!!!

-Celisea Trust me, I totally understand!!!

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
9:13 am

Respect……..should only be taken AWAY when it’s deemed she’s put herself in a position where she no longer deserves your respect.

Hmmmm, I differ on this stance. I don’t think a man that possess this trait in his character can turn it off and on. If he can, IMO he never really had it. Things happen, if there’s bad blood between the two, there’s bad blood, still it’s not a cause to NOT respect. I just don’t think there’s ever a time to give the green light for this sort of behavior. We see it enough when it’s not what we’d call “merited.” Now, I think if the situation calls for moving on and away from one another, then do that but, IMO a man that respect some and some not, don’t really possess that trait.

Every person is responsible for their own actions and no matter what another person does, it’s not a cause or reason enough to lean on them, what they did (or didn’t do) or what’s perceived, as an excuse to be less stellar.

Hazel

March 19th, 2013
9:18 am

most of the women here said that they dont really care of looks. I feel the same way. However, I always liked the nerds.

MsAtl

March 19th, 2013
9:19 am

Morning All!

I don’t have a “type” as far as looks are concerned (but I don’t go after Pretty Boy Floyd). I do, however, require a man who is respectful and treats people well. Confidence is nice, but arrogance is a turn off (I know, fine line).

Celisea- I agree with your posts. Please, please, please don’t walk around in your forties with your pants sagging and still “trying” to be a rapper.

Exiled- You are too funny!

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
9:21 am

And one thing about situationships, let both parties tell their side of the story and you can bet the stories would differ. There are a lot of times and stories we hear about where s/he did this that and the other, and how he or she was wrong for that, but oftentimes we don’t know the story from start to finish. Is that a reason to excuse bad behavior? Of course not, but oftentimes, I believe we hear what we hear and NEVER really are privy to what caused, transpired, created, played into bad situations.

Of course all just my take and opinion.

Alright, I’m getting sleepy, need to work and need to find a good movie :green:

BBL

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
9:22 am

MsAtl – Okaaaay…lol

Later for now :mrgreen:

Bluzgirl

March 19th, 2013
9:31 am

My type obviously hasn’t worked for me, so I’m trying to get away from it. I don’t have a type when it comes to looks. I just seem to be attracted to musicians…unfortunately, I end up with the ones who have talent, but no drive. No more of that for me!!! If I end up with a musician again, he will have a full time job, his own place, his own car, and ambition to do well in life!!!

kimmie

March 19th, 2013
9:34 am

Morning All!!

Well, everyone has their type, and that should be respected. Don’t go getting mad if the object of your affection does not think you are the type for them. Respect a woman’s right to have a “type” just like everyone seems to respect a man’s right to a type!

I’ve always gone for cute nerds. MissMoni, I’m with you, not dumbing down for nobody!! And I like men that truly appreciate women, that actually LIKE women. Not those that seem to only appreciate one thing about women, but otherwise find whatever opportunity to trash them.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 19th, 2013
9:37 am

So what are you saying… I need to give up my hope of ever having a gold record and a clothing line?????

disco

March 19th, 2013
9:40 am

good morning. at different stages of my life I’ve had different types but I’ve always been more caught up on body over looks. I could do nice body with not so nice face but could not do janky body with handsome face. I’ve never ever had tolerance for sensitive men and a momma’s boy will make me lace up, stretch out and run like the wind.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
9:43 am

-Bluzgirl It is funny that musicians always seem to be struggling. Like seriously, where are the successful musicians, LOL!

-kimmie I agree, everyone knows what they like. I just want what I like and what’s best for me to line up at the same time!!! :-)

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 19th, 2013
9:48 am

MissMoni, so you can be a musician, but not a rapper???

Bluzgirl

March 19th, 2013
9:49 am

MissMoni – the successful ones are already taken!!! LOL

disco

March 19th, 2013
9:49 am

court – a clothes line? dude you can get a clothes line at the dollar store. lol.

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
9:52 am

disco ~ you do realize a “clothes line” and “clothing line” are two different things (lol).

disco

March 19th, 2013
9:54 am

leggs – yeah. I was making a joke but didn’t want to point out that I was making a joke. guess i’m not that funny. lol.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
9:55 am

-Courtside Honestly, once you’re over 30 either one is not cool if you aren’t successful. I’ve seen too many guys still chasing their dream, throwing all caution to the wind, knowing they have responsibilities to take care of. Just not cute!!!

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
9:57 am

I know, disco. Just messing with you.

disco

March 19th, 2013
10:03 am

random – I wish I could leave work and go get a slurpee or a sonic slush or something. I need cold and fruity.

leggs – well I am just a tad bit off today. just can’t seem to “get right”.

Bluzgirl

March 19th, 2013
10:08 am

There’s a new blues guy in town who is so cute and talented. I was interested in getting to know him until he started being whiny on Facebook about needing to get a day job. He’d rather starve than be tied down to a day job (which would pay his bills). No more of that for me!!! There’s an old joke…what do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless…

Hazel

March 19th, 2013
10:08 am

Question for you folks.. My neighbor once told me that her husband isn’t her type, but she loves him now. Do you think she loves him?
I know she married him for his money.. its too obvious.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
10:15 am

-Hazel That seems to be the name of the game these days, marry for money and love will come eventually. She may have very well fallen in love with him over the years. Maybe he knows she didn’t love him in the beginning and just didn’t care. . .

disco

March 19th, 2013
10:16 am

hazel – a lot of people subscribe to that “learn to love them” theory. I suppose it’s legit. your neighbor sounds like security is more important to her than love. I, for one, am not judging her for that as I’ve never embraced romantic notions. I’d prefer being with someone I simply liked who could provide than someone I loved who couldn’t.

DuShawn

March 19th, 2013
10:16 am

-“just can’t seem to get right……” – I was just thinking the same “I can’t get right”, I’m sleepy, exhausted, and don’t know where to begin with all the work I need to do, but I don’t feel like working. Maybe another cup of coffee will help. On topic, my type is anything with a pulse……. and preferably very gullible with low self esteem.

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
10:16 am

Y’all remembered my story about one of my dude bffs that told me he married his wife, but the love of his life moved to NY? Yep, when I say we’re cool like that, we’re cooool like that. I can’t lie, I was at a loss for words when he opened up and told me that. We were having lunch. I know he loves his wife, but I think he “came to love her.” He said his true love moved but he couldn’t, wasn’t a good time for him. So, they parted ways. He said he’d started dating his wife and “liked” her but it wasn’t love. He said he was sort of mulling over what to do, what to do when her mom pulled his coat tail. He said she told him, marry her or let her go, but don’t keep her hanging on. Soooo he married her.

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
10:19 am

Do you think she loves him? – Hazel, I chuckled. Can’t even begin to make an assessment. Don’t know her, haven’t seen her interact with her wealthy husband. That tickled me.

Nonetheless, one can fall in love with their spouse after marriage. It happens!

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
10:20 am

DuShawn ~ why you constantly try to make yourself look bad and shallow?

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
10:21 am

I don’t think he’s regretting anything too much. He’s got two sons and she’s a money making, financial guru. She’s been an “executive” for a HUGE company whose headquartered in Atlanta. They’re both money making people, but she’s the brain of that whole operation. He’s self employed and she’s the brain behind his business, all the while managing a slew of folks. I think she made executive before she hit 30.

He’s cheated on her though. I know they separated once for a short period of time. After then, he started straightening up. He’s a work in progess, but younger? He cheated on her.

MsAtl

March 19th, 2013
10:23 am

I agree that you can fall in love with someone after the fact, but you should at least like them for more than their money. -_-

DuShawn- Well damn! Tell us how you really feel, lol.

Bluz- Run, Forrest, run!

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
10:24 am

He cheated on her. – LOL, why the need to say it twice. Is there a hidden innuendo in there (lol)?

Hazel

March 19th, 2013
10:28 am

Miss Moni & Disco – I see your point and agree too. And the sad part is that he brags about how he got her.. he spent a lot of money.

Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)

March 19th, 2013
10:28 am

Hidden innuendo? Nothing hidden about “he’s cheated on her.” Re-emphasizing maybe? Just saying I’ve known him for years and knew where he was and how’s he grown and grown up.

kimmie

March 19th, 2013
10:28 am

Hazel – The “falling in love later” thing probably happens alot in arranged marriages. That almost sounds like your neighbor’s situation.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 19th, 2013
10:30 am

Damn…..I guess I will use my “clothes line” to hang up my dream of being a trumpet playing, country and western rapper…..

Hazel

March 19th, 2013
10:30 am

@ celisia – yes, I know a few guys like that who also married someone cause she was a doctor or financially very stable. And yes cheating was present there too. Marrying for stability can only go so far. What happens when life puts u in a place where the money is gone? Will that person still stay in the marriage? is it worth it?

Leggs

March 19th, 2013
10:30 am

Oh, ok, re-emphasizing.

Bluzgirl

March 19th, 2013
10:31 am

Du – shouldn’t your type be your wife?

disco

March 19th, 2013
10:31 am

C – if he’s referring to the other chick as the love of his life it sounds like he’s regretting a lot. lol. just my spin though.

MissMoni

March 19th, 2013
10:32 am

-Hazel I agree that it the sad part. With that being said, he’ll have to continue to spend alot of money to KEEP her. What does he think will happen when another guy comes along with MORE money than what he has???

Hazel

March 19th, 2013
10:33 am

@ kimmie – yes being Indian myself..i can see that too. But its not depended on money. It depends on the family, values, morals etc