Why do guys dump nice girls?
A young lady emailed me about her last break up. After dumping her, he started dating someone rather opposite to who she was. She ended her email with the question: Why do guys dump nice girls?
I wish I had a helpful answer to this question: Why do the nice guys/girls get overlooked. After covering dating and relationships for so long, I can only tell you that the right ones don’t. In other words, people go through a period of their dating career being attracted to the types who are flashy, noisy, or edgy.
I believe a lot of us outgrow this and eventually discover that the heart breakers are to there to be lessons, not lifelong mates. Still, we are like moths to a flame when it comes to what gets our attention, aren’t we?
When do you think we stop chasing the forbidden fruit? Does anyone want to weigh in on the young lady’s question, Why do guys dump nice girls? Should the nice girls/guys be thankful they were spared?
Have you ever dumped the nice girl/guy? Do you regret it or do you think the timing was just bad? Should we try to find those nice folks from our past and show the we are ready for the nice, more appropriate relationship?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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162 comments Add your comment
Bluzgirl
March 18th, 2013
11:54 am
disco – I can agree with you for sure about people not taking responsibility for making a person act crazy! I know I did some things with The Ex that I shouldn’t have, but he sure knew how to push my buttons and get me there. I felt like I was crazy, but I look back and all of my actions were justified!
MsAtl
March 18th, 2013
11:58 am
Bluz- I know what you mean. I have thrown a punch but felt that it was justified. Would I do it today? Likely not, but that is just part of the growing process.
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
11:59 am
Ummmm, is wanting to get close after 5 weeks of dating really a bad thing? Isn’t that why you’re dating each other to get close (not sexually)??? Now, I can understand if she or he revolves their entire life around you after 5 weeks deemed crazy, but wanting to get closer???
Bluzgirl
March 18th, 2013
12:00 pm
I have since learned that any man who can make me act crazy is not a man that I should be with! A man shouldn’t want to push you to that point…
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:04 pm
bluz – that’s a catch 22. some feel like they want or have to be “crazy in love”. if it doesn’t make them act crazy or push them to the brink of something out of character it’s too “regular” for them.
why did I just think of 357 – juicy got ‘em crazy. lol. cold going mad. lol.
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:07 pm
disco – Here’s a CRAZY story for you. Met a young lady via a mutual friend, talked on the phone, land line, no cells then, went out four or five times. Well one morning, I come home from work, used to work at night. Went straight to the bedroom to change, and she was there, butt naked. Asked her how she got in, told me her nephew picked the lock. She wanted me bad and didn’t know why I had not tried anything with her yet. “Any other man would try something on the first date, look at all this!”, she said. I eventually got her out of there and didn’t touch her. She kept wanting me to try her to see what “You’re missing” . That’s one of the more tame of my CRAZY experiences.
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:12 pm
Leggs – My sisters said that she took an overdose of sleeping pills, and was still in the hospital psychiatric unit. After five dates? No way. They told me that she told her mom that I was wonderful and she couldn’t understand why I didn’t want her.
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
12:12 pm
If that’s tame, please share cuz that is ridonkulous that women do that. Wow puddy on a platter after you pick my locks. That’s really appetizing!
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:13 pm
okay reio. I’m convinced. you are a crazy magnet. lol.
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
12:15 pm
Reio ~ yes sir, that there is crazy, wanting to OD after 5 dates! She obviously had other issues. WOW
Bluzgirl
March 18th, 2013
12:15 pm
Reio – yeah…that girl was just a tad crazy! Hopefully, she’s in counseling now dealing with her bigger issues…
Mike P
March 18th, 2013
12:15 pm
Pulling them in huh Reio haha!!
Durty Burd (BC is a must with me)
March 18th, 2013
12:16 pm
BluzGirl and MsAtl now you know both of you ladies are kinda crazy! Just when we date get the crazy out in the beginning…. lol
Disco I like a well place tatoo….I cannot do ghetto unless it behind closed doors… lol
I have broken-up with some really nice ladies, mostly it was my fault..I have to say they still have a little something in their heart when they see me. Man, I must be doing something right. IJS
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
12:16 pm
why did I just think of 357 – juicy got ‘em crazy. lol. cold going mad. lol
disco – OMG!!!! I can remember that video as if i was watching it right not. I dunno why, but i like that song
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:17 pm
disco – I guess so. Don’t know why for sure, although my sisters explained it to me that day, I’ll share what they said if anyone’s interested.
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:19 pm
mike p – reio’s kind of crazy should make y’all appreciate regular crazy. you know – blow up the phone crazy or show up unannounced crazy. who needs cat burglars and overdosers on their team?
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:19 pm
Mind you everyone, that particular incident with the sleeping pills was years and years ago.
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:19 pm
slim – you remember the video but do you admit to trying to copy the dance moves? lol.
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
12:22 pm
Durty, you talking about BC powder a must or birth control a must (lol)?
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
12:24 pm
Reio and Dushawn are related…lololol
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
12:34 pm
Reio – Did you press charges for B & E? lol
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:34 pm
Celisea….light, breezy and easy 2013
– who is Dushawn?
Reio
March 18th, 2013
12:35 pm
SlimNu – No, I did not.
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
12:38 pm
disco – Hell, I never gave up trying to do them. lol However, I do know one thing and that is I most definitely will never, nor have ever tried on a cat suit
Me in a cat suit is like looking at the body of a person that previously weighed 500lbs but underwent gastric bypass surgery.
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
12:39 pm
Reio – Just cutting up.
I’m taking a couple of minutes to peek in…
Alright, off to lunch
Toodles!!
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:42 pm
slim – I did rock a catsuit once. just once. many years ago. had my little metal link belt on with it and you couldn’t tell me nothing. don’t think I’d do it now though. lol. I do currently own a black one piece, sleeveless jumpsuit. I like the jumpsuit so much that I’m on the lookout for another one.
Durty Burd (Weed does a mind good)
March 18th, 2013
12:45 pm
Slim-Nu you have mentioned cat suit several times on the blog….it is a fantasy to wear one during sex?
Reio….attracts the crazy women! Durty don’t do crazy, I only drive them crazy….Man, I cannot stand a lady coming over unannounced you will not get in….My neighbor told me once a woman was trying to peek thru my windows, she did not know I went out of town to see a friend.
Mike P
March 18th, 2013
12:46 pm
@disco: nope, that’s one step from Reio’s crazy. Crazy is crazy lol.
MsAtl
March 18th, 2013
12:48 pm
Durty- “BluzGirl and MsAtl now you know both of you ladies are kinda crazy! Just when we date get the crazy out in the beginning…. lol”
No, Durty, I’m not crazy, but I tell you, that half of a butt whipping was earned fair & square. That was just the culmination in about a week long of crap.
disco
March 18th, 2013
12:49 pm
mike p – yep. crazy is crazy however you have to admit there are levels of crazy. lol. reminds me of a discussion with my son. he had the nerve to tell me he was grown. I had to break down the varying levels of grown to him. lol.
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
12:54 pm
Durty – When i mentioned wanting to wear a cat suit, I meant an actual cat suit like Halle Berry in Cat Woman. However, the cat suit i’m referring to now is basically a one piece fitted number that folks wear. Typically, you see chicks that have a nice body, nice curves and a nice arse to show off. Just anybody can’t be jumping out in a cat suit because they do not hide much of anything when it comes to your figure.
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
1:17 pm
Most folks ain’t crazy. I’m suspect of dudes that are quick to call women crazy. They are the main ones that instigate and then scream bloodymary. “Mayne, that chick craaaazy.” Mmmm hmmm, let you tell it.
I’m sure I’ve been called crazy, never to my face of course….lol Oh, wait…the kids dad…lol Yeah, he stepped into the dark side for real…lolol (I’m laughing as I type this). No, seriously, whose got time or still even play those games or will allow themselves to get played that way??? All I got for a dude tryna tap into my cra-cra is get on away from me what that foolishness please. When they get more than they bargained for, THEEEEN they wanna look like
and call for back up
abc
March 18th, 2013
1:33 pm
I’m not so sure that people can provoke crazy behavior, unless the crazy is already in there somewhere.
Durty Burd (Weed does a mind good)
March 18th, 2013
1:36 pm
MsAtl…So you had to knuckle up on the ex-husband? May I ask what prompt the beatdown?
Celesia now you know you are crazy….You just recently was downgraded to kinda crazy…
Leggs….Yes I am talking Birth Control….How was your weekend with Mr. Latin?
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
1:37 pm
Well, most folks that are easy to call folks crazy are usually deflecting off their own behavior. I’m sure everyone has a bit of crazy, again….if provoked. You slap me, Imma slap you back. If that’s crazy, so be it. I won’t be deemed as “sane” cause I tolerating some BS off someone.
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
1:42 pm
How was your weekend with Mr. Latin? – Who’s Mr. Latin?
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
1:46 pm
Durty How was your weekend with Mr. Latin? – Who’s Mr. Latin?
But I’m crazy? lololol Dude, you hearing thangs??? I won’t even touch this whole “Durty Bird” thing you got going…lol That’s “special tiered” crazy right there….lolol
Celisea....light, breezy and easy 2013 :)
March 18th, 2013
1:46 pm
BBL…lol
Durty, I said that with blog love
Leggs
March 18th, 2013
1:55 pm
Bluzgirl
March 18th, 2013
2:06 pm
So…anyone do anything fun for St. Patty’s Day? I was at the Atlanta Blues Society meeting and jam yesterday, but didn’t drink a bit! I did my drinking Sat night!
kimmie
March 18th, 2013
2:10 pm
Bluz – I got my drink on Sat night too. Yesterday I made corned beef & cabbage. Decent weekend, can’t complain.
disco
March 18th, 2013
2:11 pm
bluz – not that you were checking for st. patrick’s day. I’m all for any excuse to drink but I’ve never embraced st. patrick’s day. I did go see parker last night. you know I love me some Jason statham. dude makes male pattern baldness look not so bad. lol.
disco
March 18th, 2013
2:13 pm
so kimmie – what were you drinking?
kimmie
March 18th, 2013
2:14 pm
All this about provoking crazy – I just call that retaliation.
Thing is, you gon mess with the wrong one, one of these days.
Reio – 5 weeks & chick is taking it THAT hard? Naw, that’s crazy.
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
2:16 pm
I didn’t do anything special for St. PD except for get my eared talked off by my 75yo grandmother. Her birthday was yesterday. lol Oh and I played bingo too but didn’t come out a winner. Sucks for me! One mo thang, I made some greens for dinner so I guess that consitutes my “green” for the holiday.
SlimNu
March 18th, 2013
2:17 pm
Leggs – How was mother & daughter time over the weekend?
kimmie
March 18th, 2013
2:17 pm
Disco – Hubs & I doubled with another couple. When I tell you I needed a night out with other adults, that was an understatement. Hubs had this drink called a Magic Leprechaun – Red Bull and 2 or 3 other liquors in it. I had a souped up versions of Appletini & Cosmo. Had a REAL nice buzz!LOL!!!
disco
March 18th, 2013
2:18 pm
kimmie – the way I see it if you make any statement that entails a person doing a certain thing just “one more ‘gin” and that person does it, they provoked crazy. lol.
I just told a friend at lunch today that she spends too much time talking to her kids and taking away privileges. I suggested she show her them crazy and snatch one of them up. just my parenting style though.
kimmie
March 18th, 2013
2:20 pm
Disco – St Pats was always fun for us. One of my older brother’s birthday. My mom used to make all kinds of cool shamrock cakes for him. She would make us green grits for breakfast. Our last name is Irish, so I have fun telling people that I’m Irish and checking out the look on their faces! LOL!!
disco
March 18th, 2013
2:20 pm
slim – speaking of greens. I go to dinner with this guy yesterday. he orders salad and I order ribs/brisket/sides (including greens). one person took our orders but a different guy brought them out. he gave me the salad and was straight tickled when I told him the meat was for me and the salad was for old boy.