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Magic number? Keep it to yourself

When some people start a new relationship, they like to preserve the mystery as long as possible.   This includes the things from their past, like their magic number.

I don’t know why some people thing nothing will go wrong when they ask about someone’s magic number.  It usually leads to an uncomfortable situation where you regret you brought it up.

Of course, the gender double standard applies because women are judged more than men.  This is the reason a lot of women keep their number to themselves.  The idea of having their “image” being tarnished in their man’s eye isn’t worth all that honesty.

Do you think knowing the magic number is that important if you want a relationship with someone?

If a guy asks his girlfriend what her number is, do you believe he really wants to know the truth?

Would you ever break up with someone because of it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

275 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality

March 11th, 2013
5:46 am

Hello all!

Magic Number, REALLY!!

Don’t ask questions that you really don’t want the answer too!! Now I would never ask this question, because your past really doesn’t matter unless it can come back to HARM me.

Exiled

March 11th, 2013
6:01 am

Do you think knowing the magic number is that important……if ..u want a relationship?

YES!!!!

even though I know she’s gon lie. :lol: :lol:

Because if she were to tell the truf,my decision wld most likely be different than the one I make when the numbers are fudged.

If it is not important u say?

then why does she lie or resort to tongue lashing? :lol:

U got it! :lol:

Exiled

March 11th, 2013
6:07 am

they’re gonna say..’ it’s childish blah blah’……

Just gimme the truf number and I will make my own damn mind..

She ain’t gon say it…..she’s just gonna start a Big fight…twist her mouf and cuss u off,’STFUP……eyes red and demonstrating.. Big Fight! :lol:
just for those three damned words:
‘what’s ur number?’ :lol: :lol:

She’s hoping our (men) ignorance is her bliss!

Lee

March 11th, 2013
6:51 am

Does this even matter? I can’t remember ever being asked this question. Im not going to ask- hell i have issues having a man tell the truth on simple stuff like : how many times have you been married? How many kids do you have? smh

EXiled- If a woman starts a fight over a question you have bigger problems with her ..

Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality

March 11th, 2013
6:53 am

Dang Lee, it’s that bad, sounds like you need change your dating pool (LOL)

Lee

March 11th, 2013
7:15 am

I have. I stopped dating. Lol I live a much simpler life now

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
7:28 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!!

As Lee stated, I don’t ever remember being asked this question. Single and Happy summed it up by saying: “Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answer to.”

Truth is, EVERYONE has a past and some are more colorful than others. There are questions that actually matter like: Are you HIV positive? IMO that is more important than someone’s magic number. Remember you aren’t dating who that person used to be, you’re dating them as they are now. Deal with it or move on.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
7:51 am

Nothing “magical” about my number…lol Even so, whatever a person’s number or “past” I would say, it’s uncouth to go around as folks, grown folks “sooooooo how many before me?” Really? Oh, and depending upon their answer, moving forward or pursuing is contingent upon what you thing or consider a good number :shock: Oh, and let’s not forget the many conversations had where dudes talking about they don’t want virgins…either she is, or SHE AIN’T!!

For me, I wouldn’t even skip or pause to answer, it’s it’s nunya dang business. Like I said, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and trust me when I say my number ain’t magical, it ain’t…lol I would just be offended that a person would ask. If you’re not 20 and she’s not 20, it should be a given by the time folks are good and grown, that there were others ahead of you. Either you like for who they are, or you don’t.

Oh….I’ve never been asked :)

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
7:53 am

“it’s a dang nunya dang business” answer….is how that should have read….

I have a MONSTER headache. Signs of my unwanted visitor….ugh

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
8:31 am

Remember you aren’t dating who that person used to be

I’m a little “iffy” about this statement. Meaning, currently dating someone shouldn’t be assumed that you’ve flipped over a new leaf. A past time or prior time is not the same as “having a past” or should be seen as them not dating who you used to be. IMO, using “a past” tend to be associated with aloofness and carelessness. My boo IS dating me, my person, who I am and have always been. I am now, who I was then. I mean I’ve grown and I continue to evolve, but just because he’s the “now” person, shouldn’t automatically mean or be assumed that somehow, I’m someone new, or that he’s getting the “new” me or that I’ve turned over a new leaf, when really there’s no leaf to turn over.

Diva, you didn’t spring the blog’s clock forward..lol

Exiled

March 11th, 2013
8:33 am

If I’m gon buy a used car I’m gon ask,’what year,how many miles?’
and this is for a piece of metal…

Priorities?!

Leggs

March 11th, 2013
8:35 am

As I have stated before, it doesn’t make much sense to ask another how many partners they have because we know they had partners. Ask for their current Aids status and if they presently have a partner. We all have a past unless you embarking on a journey with a virgin.

By asking this question you only open yourself up to a possible answer that’s a deal breaker for you. Why even bother? And, for the record, don’t ask “hey baby, am I the best you’ve ever had?” Can be another low blow to your already fragile ego!

Morning!!!

disco

March 11th, 2013
8:35 am

good morning. magic number? boy oh boy.

s/h – lee is telling the truth. these jokers out here will tell you some stuff. call them on it and they back pedal and tell you “what they had meant was”. smdh.

Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality

March 11th, 2013
8:39 am

Leggs, I also don’t ask questions I already know the answer too (lmao)

Disco, I know I know they are out there. IJS if that’s the type you keep running into, maybe it’s time to run somewhere else.

Leggs

March 11th, 2013
8:44 am

Yeah, I’ve never been asked either.

Leggs

March 11th, 2013
8:45 am

Leggs, I also don’t ask questions I already know the answer too (lmao) – :lol: :lol: Nice comeback, ego tripper :wink:

disco

March 11th, 2013
8:46 am

S/H – they are everywhere. there is no escape. lol.

Button

March 11th, 2013
8:52 am

Good morning! I don’t ask but have been asked. I’ve also been asked about his size. smh

I’m with you Lee, if my current fizzles I’m pulling I give up, life is much simpler single it’s just those darn Saturday nights I had a problem with :lol:

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
8:53 am

-Leggs I agree that the “Am I the best you ever had?” question should be stricken from the books! Like seriously guys, why even ask that???

SlimNu

March 11th, 2013
8:53 am

Morning folks….um ‘magic number’…..umm errrrr alrighty then. I agree with what’s already been said.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
8:55 am

Truth be told, I want nothing to do with ho-ish men or that mentality. But ain’t many options in that line of thinking. How naieve would that be? It would come down to human or animals…lol And I believe that same freedom practiced in ho-ish men are done in animals as well. May as well stick with my kind…lol.

disco

March 11th, 2013
8:57 am

of course we could put a spin on it. play on the words. magic number could be all sorts of things. for instance kids. quite frankly, for me, any number greater than 2 is magic because it will make me disappear. lol. same could be said for baby mommas, ex-wives, criminal convictions, outstanding prescriptions. lol. dude with 6 or 8 or 10 prescriptions might have a little more going on than I want to be bothered with. nursing isn’t my thing. lol.

Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality

March 11th, 2013
9:01 am

Disco, what if he has 4 but they’re all grown, 3 exes that have moved on. and nursing’s not your thing, Now I’m surprised to hear that (LOL)

Oh think we’ve been down this road before (LOL)

MsAtl

March 11th, 2013
9:04 am

Morning All!
I have never been asked that question and I would not ask anyone how many partners they have had in the past. I am more concerned with whether they have any current partners and whether they have anything they can pass on (I don’t even want your cold).
Disco- I agree; how many ex-wives, kids and criminal convictions do you have?
Button- You have got to be kidding me! Someone asked you about the size of an ex?

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
9:04 am

-Celisea One of my fav things to tell my guy friends is that the same way men don’t want a women that’s been around the block twice, a lady doesn’t want a man who’s been with the majority of the women in the city.

Ho isn’t cute on a man no matter how a person may try to dress it up.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:06 am

MissMoni – LOL at your 9:04 I feel the same level of “ick” for dudes that’s smashed with every “friend”, every neighbor, coworkers, have several in rotation, married and still have their big toe in the dating pool, dudes that smashed using no protection, etc etc etc.

IMO, some dudes pounce on the double standard thing and will hold fire to women’s feet on the issue. They’ll say they’re cool and can roll with know a chick has smashed everything in site, but really, most don’t want to deal with a woman’s past, if indeed she was “that” girl. Like I said, if I be honest about it, I feel ick at the thought of coming behind tons and tons and tons of women. So, yeah, let’s not talk numbers. I know societally, “it’s okay”, but not for me.

disco

March 11th, 2013
9:10 am

s/h – there’s always an exception. lol. I would have put minor children except that I’ve run into “daddy’s little girl” syndrome quite a bit. grown chicks still deep in daddy’s pocket and daddy talking about “that’s my baby”. never mind that “baby” is grown and has kids of her own.

moni – re ho not being cute on a man. I agree but I also have to admit that a cute man-ho will likely continue to get mad play. some chicks think taming that man-ho is the ultimate challenge. I don’t think many men try to tame the female version.

abc

March 11th, 2013
9:10 am

It’s not a ‘magic number’, it’s a body count. Mine’s unusually high, so I don’t mind not discussing it. Personally, I don’t care what her’s is — it’s not important how many there have been in the past, only how many there are now. THAT magic number is 1, and it’s me.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:11 am

Cute or not, nothing attractive about “ho-dom”….on any person.

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
9:12 am

-disco Unfortunately I know, but some men love the challenge as well, for example Kanye and Kim.

Single & Happy

March 11th, 2013
9:13 am

Disco, was just talking to a friend last week, Who’s answer was “what are you supposed to do?” (smdh) and this was a mother with 2 daughters! I’m with you on that one!

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
9:13 am

-Celisea EXACTLY!!! It’s 2013, get somewhere and sit down. Half the time guys are not telling the truth anyway about how much they are getting. At the end of the day, who really cares other than the individual???

Leggs

March 11th, 2013
9:14 am

It’s not a ‘magic number’, it’s a body count. – same thing. It the body count that’s the majic number on whether one will stay or go.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:15 am

MissMoni – It must be me because I don’t care how fine you are, you don’t get a pass on being a ho…an open ho at that. That’s for the simple and thirsty…lol Nuh uh, I’m with you, get on and get somewhere and sit it down!!! That mess ain’t cute. Folks dye from ho-dom!

abc

March 11th, 2013
9:16 am

Not to me, I just don’t care about that. ‘Course, that may be a side effect of having a high count myself.

Now, does anyone really care what Kanye and Kim do? Why do people make such retards rich? Is it like rubbernecking a car wreck, or what?

Single & Happy

March 11th, 2013
9:16 am

MissMoni, so which one is the Hoe (LOL)

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:16 am

I did not say “dye” did I? DIE…lol

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:17 am

I don’t give one passing moment to Kim and Kanye. I didn’t, to either of them before they were a couple and I especially don’t know. I think they’re both clowns.

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:18 am

now…not know

gheesh

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:18 am

And their momma is Queen Clown, and Bruce? Po thang

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:18 am

Bruce is just a squirrel in their world, tryna get a nut

disco

March 11th, 2013
9:18 am

C – that’s just it. typically man-hos aren’t referred to as such. they are players or confirmed bachelors or ladies’ men. none of those terms really have a negative connotation. in fact, they are almost complimentary.

Single & Happy

March 11th, 2013
9:19 am

ABC, because most have no life, and think these people are living the life they would like to have!

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:20 am

disco – Not really. Not for all of us. It’s really really small to find “cute” in a dude that’s smashing all over the place and carelessly and all because he’s fine. I like mine allllll to myself. I’on play bout that. So if you’re superfine and come with a line (of women), Imma take a pass.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 11th, 2013
9:20 am

Morning Folks!!!!

” “Am I the best you ever had?” ”

MissMoni, Are dudes really runnig around asking isht like that????? AMAZING!!!!!

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:20 am

The K’s mom has done nothing but pimped her kids….all of them. Oh, except the son

Leggs

March 11th, 2013
9:21 am

If anybody here has disco’s email and you have mine, please pass along to her. Thank you.

MissMoni

March 11th, 2013
9:21 am

-Celisea It’s not just you, LOL! Apparently, thirsty is the name of the game (it’s really getting out of control) and I’m absolutely not playing that!!!

Celisea

March 11th, 2013
9:21 am

And I still say I haven’t watched them. There’s enough quick hit news to see that.

I received an email from Sears advertsing Kim’s clothing line..DELETE!!!

abc

March 11th, 2013
9:22 am

I’d actually pity them, if anything. I suppose it’s a good thing for them to be so unaware of themselves — living down the embarrassment of being them might be a bit much to handle.