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Date Planning 101

The art of dating has been lost on some people. The idea is that both people are involved in activity that is enjoyable to them. Unfortunately, many people could use a class on planning a date; others could probably teach it!

The strength of your date planning skills could impact whether or not there will be more dates to follow. So why do some people get it oh so terribly wrong? Showing up without a plan for the evening is a fail. Taking your date to a strip club won’t impress anybody. Definitely don’t take your date to buy weed. These have all happened to me!

Date planning just takes a little effort, paying attention, and finding cool things to do together. Preferably with your clothes on. When it comes to date planning: Women usually love creativity and someone that makes them feel special. Some men enjoy activities that lets them show their strength or agility. Even a little friendly competition could ramp up the sexual chemistry on a date.

There should be efforts made by both so that there isn’t only one person doing all the work. Nothing wrong with dinner and a movie, but why not find something unique to make it memorable?

If you could teach a date planning class, what kind of skills would you try to demonstrate?

When was the last time you planned a date that impressed even you!

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

222 comments Add your comment

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
6:50 am

Diva, this is a good one (for me) :)

Mr Current and I have been going out close to a year now. Naturally in the beginning, it was efforts, intentions, looking good, smelling good, so forth and so on. To get this thing off the ground, I can say most dates were planned, done with thoughtfulness, intentional and targeted. Now that a bit of “comfy” has set in, I sort of know as well as he, how to plan around likes and interests.

Having said that, if I had to teach a date planning class, my first instruction would be:

1. Pay attention. You can gather a lot from listening and watching. Once you can sort of gauge, Next:

2. Be thoughtful. Think outside the box! If what they like ain’t exactly your comfort zone, bend a little (no pun intended) :evil: ha ha ha Then, be willing to:

3. Spend a little (yep, that’s what I said :) )

A bit of creativity and the “want” to impress and have a geniunely good time will get in “in daaa” :mrgreen:

Heeey Lady (when/if you get in) :)

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
6:51 am

Ut oh…I tried to be brief. Its the spacing

Exiled

March 8th, 2013
6:59 am

Plan? For a date? Then stress about it?

Lawd have mercy.

No plan,no problem…think of something right there on the fly…..spontaneity someone. A date is not like planning a moon launch.

Going to the strip joint? That can be a fun date with Tha Right Woman!!!

Same as buying weed? No issues there!

Unless if u are boring.

Hey MIA!

Exiled

March 8th, 2013
7:01 am

I don’t smoke but if she wants to smoke,no issue. It’s just One date!

MissMoni

March 8th, 2013
7:28 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!!

-Celisea Very good planning ideas!!! :-)

-Exiled I agree, no need to stress about it, that takes the fun out of enjoying the actual date itself.

A date planning class should include the basics and one of the most important is LISTENING!!!

Prime Example: Nothing worse than you state during conversation that you’re allergic to shellfish and then the person takes you on a date to a seafood restaurant. Like seriously, did you hear anything that was said???

Bottom line, pay attention to the details and do what works for both of you.

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
7:42 am

Miss Moni – :)

Bottom

March 8th, 2013
8:38 am

TGIF!!! planning a date shouldn’t be that hard, should it? you find out what your date enjoy doing, hobby or leisurely and find events or plan the date based on those criterias.

Last date my honni boo planned was a bachata dancing class. I’ve never been bachata dancing before so I was really impressed. Even though it was a beginner crash course, I learned some salacious moves!

Bottom

March 8th, 2013
8:46 am

Most importantly be ON TIME!!!! be clean, clothes clean, body clean, clean smelling breath—no matter how good of a planner you do for a date, these are very improtant!

MissMoni

March 8th, 2013
8:55 am

-Bottom/Button YES, clean EVERYTHING is a definite must!!!

Button

March 8th, 2013
8:57 am

Moni – thanks for catching that!

MissMoni

March 8th, 2013
9:04 am

-Button No problem! :-)

MsAtl

March 8th, 2013
9:15 am

Morning All!

Celisea- Good list.

Exiled- Spontaneity is good sometimes. Sometimes, though I would like an actual plan (by me or him). I’m not talking a strict up to the minute plan, but at least something.

MIA- Really? A date took you to buy weed? I am dying! #Fail!

I think one of the best dates I planned was a trip to Myrtle Beach and Nascar (you could drive the race car or ride along) for a car buff speed demon. After the trip, I ordered some of the photos from the photographer of him in the race car. He really enjoyed it.

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:24 am

Dating for sport. That seems to be becoming a common theme in our AA society these days. Which also seems to be the foundation for the demise of commitment and marriage in the AA society. This constant need to be entertained has taken the place of dating to find that special someone to spend your life with.

Celisea, I thought you were going in one direction with your comment but you did not say what I thought you were about to say. I thought you were getting to the point that after dating your guy for a year now it’s more about you two spending time together than about finding entertainment or being entertained.

Yes a nice night out is fine. Maybe one or two 3-rings circus events a year “just because” but other than that, that’s what birthdays, (?) anniversaries, and the celebration of grand happenings are for.
At what point do you step back to determine is it the person you are falling for or is it all the dancing on your stage that has you keeping them around. How quickly does your wandering eyes set in when the entertaining is not as frequent as once was?

IMO when you are dating someone because you like that person and want to get to know them better this constant need for them to entertain you is not even present. You are just happy being in the company of that love interest.

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:25 am

I, through experience, discovered that trying to keep the daily song and dance of dates constantly going pretty much left us empty when it came to doing something special for a special day. Always trying to one-up yourself or your date from the last previous outing leaves no room for special occasion celebration.

I think that’s why more and more “relationships” are short lived among us now. I don’t see and hear of this mindset of planning the perfect date each and every date from no one but us. Others are finding love, getting married and going on to live their lives as one. We on the other hand can’t and won’t settle down because we are constantly looking for the next greatest high. Entertainment.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 8th, 2013
9:25 am

Morning Folks!!! T G I F !!!!!

I think this topic needs to broken down into two separate but equally important divisions….

1st. Date planning…… Everyone has already dropped good ideas on this ( I think it applies early on)

2nd. “Non-New” Dating …. Being spontanious (sp) is great and adds life to a dating relationship… Too many plans makes things seem contrived…..

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:26 am

Now if I was to teach a class on dating I would say find things that allow you to learn about your love interest. Do a cheap to find out if they are only into you for the finer thing you offer. Do an expensive date to see how they conduct themselves in a fine dining setting. Do a group date to see how well they will get along with your present circle of friends and associates. Do something that you love to do to see how accommodating they are to your needs. Do something they really really love and see how much attention they pay to you while doing what they love on your dime. (Charles is looking for you. Charles? Charles who? The guy you arrived with. Oh, that Charles I forgot all about him.) Do a date that results in one of you losing. Do a date that requires team work.

If you are dating to find the one you want to really be with, in the early stages do things that reveal who that person really is. After that just be happy spending time together and save the going all out for special occasions.

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
9:26 am

Definitely don’t take your date to buy weed. – I was chewing and bit the side of mouth reading this (lol).

Pay attention is key. Like disco going on a date when she clearly told the dude she didn’t want Chinese and he takes her to a Chinese restaurant.

Good, good Happy Friday. It’s going to be a lovely, lovely weekend.

Courtside Seats (With no PSL's added on!!!! )

March 8th, 2013
9:29 am

“Dating for sport. That seems to be becoming a common theme in our AA society these days. Which also seems to be the foundation for the demise of commitment and marriage in the AA society”

I respect your views, but I am calling BS on the facts……

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
9:29 am

Raqi – Celisea, I thought you were going in one direction with your comment…..I thought you were getting to the point that after dating your guy for a year now it’s more about you two spending time together than about finding entertainment or being entertained.

The topic only spoke to “date planning.” Naturally, I probably would have, but after yesterday, the rules were reiterated of not making long posts. So, I had to keep strictly to the topic Short and sweet :) Now, I could go there, but then I might get booted off the island…lol

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:29 am

that sounds like a fun fast and furious date MsAtl, way to go. Much as I’ve been to MB, I’ve never taken the time to visit Nascar.

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
9:29 am

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:33 am

There is much truth in what it takes to get ‘em it takes to keep ‘em. Don’t set yourself up to fail. Plan dates reasonably considering that you are showing this person “this” is what you have to offer. If you can’t nor plan to keep it up for the long haul don’t lead with it.

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:35 am

Even if you are in married or have been dating for a while should you stop dating? I think not. You should still have date night, It should’nt stop just because you’re married. Date night is something special to look forward to whether it’s weekly biweekly or monthly. As for planning, you should plan dates just as you plan for anything that’s meaningful. JMO

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:38 am

Celisea, that’s true about the topic being about date planning. But for some reason though when I read it all I got out of it is “Entertain Me! Entertain Me!”. That sentiment is just what seems to be all you see now. People are more enamored with how well you stave off their boredom than they are with getting to know a person and deciding to like them for who they are.

SlimNu

March 8th, 2013
9:38 am

Good morning,

Raqi – I definitely agree with what you said….dating to know the person and not dating just to be entertained

MsAtl

March 8th, 2013
9:39 am

Courtside- I’m with you; I call B.S. on that one also. I do not believe that AAs are merely dating for sport rather than trying to find someone special.

Button, Celisea- It was fun! I rode also. Then we drove go karts, did rock climbing and went to the batting cages.

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:41 am

Raqi – Yes a nice night out is fine. Maybe one or two 3-rings circus events a year “just because” but other than that, that’s what birthdays, (?) anniversaries, and the celebration of grand happenings are for. Please tell me your joking.

MsAtl

March 8th, 2013
9:42 am

Raqu- As I said, I have planned a Nascar date, but we also have just sat back, chilled, and watched a Redbox movie. In my opinion, a date can be anywhere from quiet time to “fast and furious.” If you are doing something all of the time, you haven’t figured out if you can just be still with each other. That said, I still disagree that it is AAs; at least not the ones I know.

MissMoni

March 8th, 2013
9:42 am

-Button I definitely agree. Although, I’ve never been married, I understand from married couples that having Date Night is very important to keeping the spark and intimacy alive and well. Couples clearly need alone time together, Date Night could very easily be a movie night at home with take out and yes you have to plan time to do that, so planning should just be a natural part of life.

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
9:46 am

Raqi – But for some reason though when I read it all I got out of it is “Entertain Me! Entertain Me!”.

Awwwwwwwww, I’m sorry you read it that way :) Entertain me, love me, feed me, spend time with me, do me….etc etc etc :mrgreen:

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
9:47 am

Raqi ~ great point in date to get to know the person. Makes no sense to go out on a date, evening ends and you still don’t know anything more than what you did when you started out for the evening.

Button ~ I agree, just because you are now married is no excuse not to go out with your mate on dates (especially if you have children). You need quality, quiet time to spend together.

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:47 am

Button, occasionally spending time away from the kids and house is good for a marriage. I will never deny that. But the only planning that takes is getting a sitter for the time we want to go out. And possibly getting a reservation. Otherwise the special planning is saved for special occasions. There is only so much doing to be done. Every date cannot be an all out fun-fest. It’s ludicrous to think that every time we go out it has to be over the top planning. Dinner at a nice quaint bistro with bowling…what’s there to plan. Just do it.

That’s all I am saying.

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
9:48 am

Raqi That seems to be becoming a common theme in our AA society these days. Which also seems to be the foundation for the demise of commitment and marriage in the AA society

I respectfully disagree as well. I would think you’d have to date the vast majority of AA, to make this assessment. And we all know, statistics and stuff have been found to be jaded when it comes to black folks

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:49 am

How else can you get to know someone other than sitting across the table from each other? Shouldn’t you want to see that person in another element? Seeing their strenght, agility and so on and so forth? I love the fact that my guy is innovative and active. We get out and enjoy life with each other on well planned dates.

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
9:54 am

Some days it’s:

“Let’s go out Saturday.”

“Okay. Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. We’ll decide once we get out of the driveway.”

Honestly. That’s how it is sometimes. Spending the time together is more important that what we will be doing. Sometimes we just don’t know until we see it driving down the road. LOL

“Hey let’s go there.” LOL

Constantly having to entertain each other is not what got us to the altar of matrimony. It was clearly the desire to be with each other for the long haul.

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:55 am

Raqi – I’ve been where you’re coming but that’s how things are for you, it doesn’t make it right or wrong for anyone else not doing it your way.

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
9:56 am

“I don’t know. We’ll decide once we get out of the driveway.” – I’m a girly girl and my first thought was, what if I don’t have the right outfit on?

Or is depending on how you two are dressed will dictate the direction you head in?

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:57 am

Raqi @ 9:54 – how do you know how to dress for the occasion if that’s the case? There seems to be limits by doing it that way. jmo

Button

March 8th, 2013
9:58 am

Leggs you beat me @quesiton! :lol:

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
10:01 am

Celisea, I say that because I see, hear and associate with many sides. I see young couples getting together and getting married. In where I deal AA seems to be the ones not getting married and also are the ones I see and hear more about boredom in dating and looking for the next best thing. I just don’t hear it as much from others.

And reading a lot of the websites and blogs geared toward AA, it speaks loudly. We want to be entertained.

I see other young couples getting together and getting married without all the hoopla.

And Imma stop right here.

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
10:03 am

Great minds think alike, Button. :wink:

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
10:09 am

Raqi – I hear ya, but websites and blogs don’t do justice for real life and people that’s never associated with social sites, etc. While there are many many folks that frequent sites, I’m guessing there’s an even greater number that haven’t. So, to make that general statement or assumption about AA is broadstroking a bit. There are many AA that are marrying and staying married. My mama and daddy did the dang thing for 54 years and until death did they part :)

Great discussion so far!!!

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
10:10 am

Leggs, yes often it is. We are more interested in getting out together. If there is something one of us wants to do in particular we say it. We have to get a sitter so it’s not like we just drop what we are doing and walk out the door. The plan is to get out of the house. The particulars of what we will do are not always that important.

I am not saying you should not plan a date. I will never say that. But what I am saying is dating once was more about spending time with a person to get closer to them than about feeding someone’s thrill factor.

Folks basing their ability to like someone based on the specialness of every date is just crazy. And that is where most are these days.

I have read you say a guy in his 50’s is boring because he’s good with sitting down, having dinner and nice conversation. Why is that a bad thing in getting to know someone? Why the constant thrill seeking? That mindset IMO is doing more harm than good.

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
10:14 am

Celisea, I am talking about the real world. That’s why I said those I see and hear. It’s depressing seeing less and less of us getting married for the reason that I see and hear.

I cannot say all I want to say because it will create a bigger firestorm than I am already creating. But what I will say is I wish we (AA) would dial it back a little and find love and like again with being together and not so much in being entertained or thrilled.

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
10:15 am

Figured as much, Raqi. Had to be that way (lol).

I don’t think you read ME saying a guy in his 50’s is boring sitting down having dinner and nice convo. I don’t think that’s boring at all. Sounds like something may have been taken out of context. What is boring is my date always wanting to do that at my place.

Leggs

March 8th, 2013
10:16 am

Operative word being “always.”

Button

March 8th, 2013
10:16 am

Raqi – so you’re assestment is the reason Blacks are not getting married compared to their white counterparts is because they want to date and not spend time together on a couch talking? Because it’s all about spending time together and not really seeing that person as a whole in different elements?

Raqi

March 8th, 2013
10:18 am

Celisea, your mom and dad as well as mine lived in a better time. Just reading you talk about them in the past let’s me know they were a good strong black couple and not an AA gotta-catch-the-next-high thing happening.

Celisea

March 8th, 2013
10:20 am

Raqi – Celisea, I am talking about the real world.

Me too. I just think it’s wrong to broadstroke AA when really it’s a big ole world and none of us have broached “the vast majority” of anything in any category. Make sense?

Button

March 8th, 2013
10:20 am

Listen up Black folks if you want to get married sit on your behind and do nothing outside of talking because that’s going to be the premise of your married going forth. Any thrill or entertainment will be reserved to only birthdays, anniversaries, and grand openings!