Can you marry your best friend?
Whenever I come across a couple who seem to not only love each other, but like each other, I pay attention. There is something about a couple who are friends and lovers. I don’t know, call me romantic, but these are the couples seem to have a deeper, richer, and more loving connection.
Granted, I don’t really know what goes on in their private lives. Surely they go through the rough patches and manage to weather the storm. I think it helps a lot when you are truly friends. Is it possible to have the love of your life also be your best friend? I think it is! That is the kind of connection I want to have with my future husband.
We usually debate whether or not men and women can be friends. I want to know what you think about your lover becoming your best friend?
Do you consider your significant other your best friend? Do you think there is a deeper connection when there is a genuine friendship in your romantic relationships?
When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t have to impress each other, do you still enjoy being around them? Would you have something in common besides sex?
How does a couple manage to make their lover their friend? Do you start off as friends first?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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390 comments Add your comment
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
7:42 am
How does a couple manage to make their lover their friend? Do you start off as friends first? You should always start off as friends first
When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t have to impress each other, do you still enjoy being around them? I don’t believe in trying to impress someone. If you can’t do the simple things on dates, like go to McDonald’s for lunch, or a chain restaurant for dinner. Friends don’t have to be creative to enjoy each others company!
MissMoni
March 6th, 2013
8:00 am
GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!!
-Single & Happy I totally agree that you should always start off as friends first.
Friendship is very important and you have to decide if you want to risk your friendship to have a romantic relationship. I always find it interesting to know the background story of people who have a best friend of the opposite sex and both of them are single.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
8:13 am
Oh hello MIA
MissMoni, my best friend is a woman, we’ve been friend for over 30 years, never anything out of the ordinary.
MissMoni
March 6th, 2013
8:22 am
-Single & Happy So is your best friend currently single as well?
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
8:27 am
As with the conversation on ‘dating while broke’, the places you go with your friends (of the same or opposite sex) never truly matters. We all have stories of ‘hole in the walls’ where we had the greatest time because of the company we kept at the time.
That’s the ideal. To find someoe in whose company you are comfortable, honest (with yourself and them), relaxed, feel no pressure to front; and with whom you have a baseline of communication and affection.
It’s that ‘like’ that will get you through those dreary Wednesday nights at home, or the argument about the proper way to put the toilet tissue on the roll.
As for dating your friend, why wouldn’t you? The logic of dating a stranger with whom you have to form a connection is exhausting.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
8:29 am
MissMoni, yes she is
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
8:43 am
Morning Good people!!! Damn. its cold out there!!!!
I could not see myself being in marriage with a person that I did not consider my best friend…..I have a friend that I know will one day be my wife, not because of what we do together, but because we can chill and not do anything…. When its like that, its hard to not be right….
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:44 am
Great topic Wise Diva. It should be no other way. From what I have witnessed and am in the continuing process of learning, being the “best friend” with your mate is the recipe for a happy, successful, lasting relationship.
Think about it. This is the person you are sharing absolutely everything with. Your life, your home, your money, your bed, your body and your shared legal responsibilities. What else is there left to give? How much deeper of a connection can there be? How can you give one person all of this but then take your alliance and give IT to someone else?
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:44 am
Friendship is the experience where we can be our freest and happiest self. Friendship is the place where we seek comfort, reassurance and security. Why deny the one you have committed your life to that experience and place?
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:46 am
Not many romantic relationships start out as being real friends first however that’s the goal that should be sought once marriage has been added into the mix. The closer you get and the longer you are together the scale to start to tilt in favor of your spouse being your BEST.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:47 am
Personally it’s wonderful having our own little secrets and world that is safeguarded from everyone else. It’s delightful exchanging those “inside jokes” glances and smirks while among friends that they are dying to be let in on but don’t.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:52 am
Just hanging out at the house on a Saturday afternoon doing a whole bunch of nothing sharing a grilled cheese ham sandwich and some carrot sticks watching countless recorded Faceoff episodes without the burden of forced “profound” conversations is how my best friend and I get down. I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
8:54 am
“Can you marry your best friend?”
You should. Or get there eventually.
That’s all. Good day.
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
8:56 am
A Raqi fest today?
Hello Raqi…
In DC,snowy and in bed….
Hey MIA!
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:10 am
Good morning! I want to know what you think about your lover becoming your best friend? while both take time to cultivate I agree that lovers should be friends, esp if you’re headed toward marriage. My thing is losing that friend when the relationship ends. then he becomes my enemy! oh how the tables can turn.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
9:11 am
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MS. RAQI♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
9:12 am
As far as marrying your best friend, that’s the best way to start off. It’s wonderful to love your mate, but it’s even more delightful if you like your mate.
Good freaking NY Gloves wearing morning!!!
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:15 am
Even though my man is my friend, he’s not my bestie, nope he’s not. My bestie is my homegirl, we are like two peas in a pod. There are things I can talk to my girl about that my guy either don’t want to talk about or have no clue what I’m talking about. lol
Ms J~
March 6th, 2013
9:16 am
Dan good post!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:28 am
“To find someoe in whose company you are comfortable, honest (with yourself and them), relaxed, feel no pressure to front; and with whom you have a baseline of communication and affection”
Dan, EXACTLY.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:29 am
LOL Leggs. You are a month early. But thanks anyway. I will remember your beautiful serenade next month.
You are correct about the love and like. I remember the day I heard the words “love got me to make a home with you, but like keeps me coming home day after day”
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
9:30 am
@Button
Aaaand that’s a problem. If you can’t find a way to explain (good or bad) issues with your man, but talk about them constantly with your ‘bestie’, I predict that you and your ‘bestie’ will be talking about relationship problem for a long time to come, but about different people.
That’s the thing about liking the person you’re with, the fact that you *want* them to understand where you’re coming from, what’s on your heart, and how you feel about certain things. I would suppose, Button, that is one of the foundations of your relationship with your ‘bestie’. Why not take the time to try and build that with your man, who, as Raqi stated, you’re sharing your body with?
It strikes me as odd that people (not you Button, speaking in general terms) can really wonder why their intimate relationship with their SO is not going well, all the while sharing details and insights with a friend, but not their SO?
It’s like talking to your butcher about your car issues, and talking to your mechanic about your butcher.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
9:35 am
Why would you do anything otherwise? I’ve never been married, but I have yet to date someone I NOT super super cool with. I gotta be able to laugh it up, mesh, jive, have much much more going on other than sex, etc. For me, being friends over and above all else is a requirement.
I told y’all I met Mr Current at an event. We talked, chilled, kicked back, had laughs, etc etc etc, well before I decided to get off the pot. A cool cat. Whever embarking on something new or with someone new, for me, part of not hitting the sheets say day one is the effort to see “what all you got going on.” Can we mesh, are you trustworthy, do you project in action, the man you project at face value. I know I’ve gotten beat up on here a lot (not really), on the issue of not having sex too soon. Becoming friends first, for me, is a good reason why. I wouldn’t have it any other way
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:39 am
Celisea, and from experience it should never be any other way.
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:42 am
Dan I feel that you’re not getting where I’m coming from, my bestie have been in my life for years through things that my guy have never been through with me and probably never will at this point in my life. All I’m saying is yes my guy is my friend and I do share with him things other than my body, we have a growing relationship that is culitvating which will one day hopefully lead to marriage. I can’t deny that he’s my friend but I have to be real and say that he’s not my bestie at least not right now. We are still growing. Now had I still been married to my last husband then yes I can say that he would’ve been my best of all friend but there lies a thin line between my hsuband and my bestie. one I share my world with and one that I can watch my girlie shows with, go shopping with or have girls night out with and the list goes on that I can do with my girl that my man can’t or won’t understand. I still have my own identity although I’m coupled.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
9:42 am
Raqi – That’s all I know, when it comes to relationships. Outside of the kid’s dad (y’all just have to accept me using him as the gauge for all the things you should NEVER do), I wouldn’t waste my time being with someone where all we had in common was sex. Outside of that, can’t talk, can’t get along, don’t share, won’t bend, won’t give….nuh uh. I’m tired typing this…lol Two individuals should be able to laugh and tease, have fun, joke, talk to not at each other, so forth and so on. Shoot, I don’t want the intimate part if I don’t have the other. You may as well be FWB…lol
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
9:43 am
Wait…I take that back, FWB are at least friends (from what I hear..never had one of those…lol). I would say may as well be FB!!
disco
March 6th, 2013
9:46 am
good morning.
s/h – you should always start off as friends first. not disagreeing just saying good luck with that. be honest. do you know how hard it is to make new friends once you reach a certain age? who among us has new friends? my newest friend (male or female) goes back nearly 15 years. ijs.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:48 am
Dan, you are right. In having sex with someone you are giving all of yourself. That is if you are looking to enjoy it, let me add. But the experience of sexual getoffness is the only experience that I know of where every muscle, nerve and unit of your entire being is overtaken in giving. (I hear only a relationship with God is greater. But that’s not a topic for this site.)
How can you have that experience with someone and then say that you cannot give THAT person the effort and privilege of being your best friend? That’s some crazy logic in my mind.
abc
March 6th, 2013
9:49 am
My wife and I are examples of married best friends. We don’t really have rough patches. Having been married previously, I’d recommend this: if you’re not best friends, don’t get married.
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:50 am
It take a lot my than just chilling to culivate a true friendship, heck I can chill back with any ol body but that doesn’t equate to being friends.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
9:50 am
Dang, Raqi, I’m a month early. How I mess that one up (lol). Administrative skills on the decline!
“love got me to make a home with you, but like keeps me coming home day after day”
That’s what I’m saying, and I can only imagine how much that warmed your heart when he said it.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
9:50 am
Good Chilly Morning All!!!
Hey there Raqita!!!
I cannot see being married to someone I did not “like” and consider a friend! While hubs and I did not start out as friends, I think the friendship developed right along with the romantic relationship. So it seems we’ve always had this certain comfort level with each other. We can talk about everything or nothing. It’s really the best. Unless he were to snap and do something really lowdown, even if we broke up I don’t see us not being friends.
Yes, having that “like” for each other is absolutely vital to a marriage I think. My mom used to tell me that was important and as I got older, I understood exactly what she was talking about. I was in one relationship with a man where we had mad physical chemistry, but thinking back, I just did not like him as a person. It was the first and only time I’ve been in such a situation and I vowed never to repeat it.
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:50 am
meant : a lot more than…..
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
9:50 am
@Button
My apologies if I misunderstood and/or pontificated based on an incorrect assumption.
I’m sure your man appreciates not having to watch girlie shows or go shopping, and appreciates your friend for beig there to share those experiences with you.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
9:51 am
(I hear only a relationship with God is greater. But that’s not a topic for this site.)
Raqi, I’m surprised to hear you type this. That was the one thing I always admired about your blog persona….your belief in God, your church attendance (that you frequently mentioned), your belief in following the good book’s outline for marriage and life. No biggie, just surprised to hear you say this….
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
9:52 am
Disco, when you have hobbies it’s easy to make new friends. now cultivating the friendship is another issue.
disco
March 6th, 2013
9:53 am
courtside – you bout to get all mushy on us again?
raqi – your 8:46 is what I meant when I said good luck with that. lol. we might be cool and get along well but friends? that’s different. we’re no longer kids who claim anyone that plays with us is our new friend.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
9:53 am
Raqi, not sure how I did a double entry, but I have your bday as 4/3. Is this correct?
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
9:55 am
I still have my own identity although I’m coupled.
Button – I feel you on this. Observing a few couples around me from the outside looking in, it’s a problem when either completely loses their own identity.
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
9:55 am
Morning All!
My SO does not have to be my “best” friend, but he sure has to be a friend. I have to feel comfortable with him and trust him. You should like your SO as a person outside of the intimate relationship. I can honestly say that when I left my marriage, I did not like my ex as a person and it had nothing to do with the relationship ending; it had to do with me really looking at him as a person. The next man I dated was a friend first before we began dating and I liked him as a person. It really made a difference.
Raqi- I like your love and like comment.
disco
March 6th, 2013
9:56 am
s/h – lol. you must be the person who claims to be friends with everyone who plays with you. lol.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:56 am
LOL Celisea. My dad taught and still teach me that a relationship with God can never be matched.
He also taught and still teach me that a marriage conducted within the rules set forth by God cannot fail.
Just looking at his life gives me no reason to doubt what he teaches.
But anyhoo, yeah, I love the Lord. And my dad.
Button
March 6th, 2013
9:57 am
Dan when I was married my husband was my best friend, of course no questions asked. maybe I categorize friendship. There’s my late husband who was my best friend and my bff.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:57 am
Raqi, obey the marriage! Words that ring loud and clear in my head.
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
9:57 am
Can you marry your best friend? Yes you can and should.
I was told that today was Raqi’s birthday. Came in to tell Raqi Happy Birthday, but obviously someone had her dates confused. LOL Oh, Hello Leggs
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
9:58 am
Leggs, it’s March my bday
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
9:58 am
Raqi – Gotcha
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
9:59 am
Hello Kimmie.
Yes Leggs.
Hazel
March 6th, 2013
10:01 am
yes and yes. Infact, your marriage will last if you are friends with your spouse before lovers. When you are friends, you are going to have that bond which is deeper than love. Friends + lovers = Great marriage
Button
March 6th, 2013
10:01 am
Dan yes he does! HAHAHA just like I appreciate that he has his guy friends to watch sports with and do manly things with that I don’t and won’t have a part of.
Hazel
March 6th, 2013
10:02 am
What I do find hard to do is being bf’s with someone then falling in love. If that person was your type then why didn’t u have “those” types of feelings initially?? I couldn’t be friends with someone that I liked, if he didn’t feel the same way.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:02 am
Disco, no I’m not, but even though I have and attitude problem (LOL) I don’t seem to have a problem making friends.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
10:06 am
Cracking up. Hello, Purple! thanks Raqi.
Single, would you like to share that day in March (lol)?
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:09 am
it’s past, Mar 1 ahhh the sunny memories
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
10:11 am
Hey Purple Olive!!!
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
10:12 am
Hi Kimmie! Still cooking and karate chopping?
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
10:14 am
While I completely agree with most of todays sentiments, i have to ask, does this mean that there should be no one else that a person should share the details of their life with except their spouse???
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
10:18 am
I see the topic has fizzled…lol I thought this would go at least two pages….
BBL……
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:19 am
Courtside you have to be careful who you share things with, everyone isn’t looking out for you best interest!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
10:25 am
You know I used to give more credit than is actually due to the statements “He or She has to have that girls/boys night out from the spouse in order to have true happiness or a fulfilled life”. Hogwash. That notion is not true. For us.
While it’s acceptable to take a Saturday fishing trip with the boys or go shopping with the girls, our life as a couple is with each other. Happiness is sought as a couple in the experiences we have and the things we do together.
That time away is not true nor necessary. I can speak on that.
Time spent apart? When he goes to work WITHOUT ME. When I go to the grocery store alone on some weekends WITHOUT HIM. Those hours spent apart is enough.
We are at a point now (and yes age could very well be a factor) where we look forward to having that time outside of our busy lives as breadwinner and homemaker to spend time together with each other.
We still have friends over from time to time and still accept the few and occasion invites from them, but this marriage and raising these kids is our life now. And we are more than happy with this.
Dinner together with the kids and getting them in bed afterwards so we can watch one of our favorite recorded shows while sitting on the couch, or in the tub or in bed together is where it’s at. That’s the connection we share. And it’s happy.
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
10:26 am
Courtside, I think the details you share with your best friend or spouse should be unique with them. The best friend or spouse should be the only one getting the “intimate/minute” details of your life.
Ms J~
March 6th, 2013
10:27 am
hold on C!!!!!! lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
10:27 am
“Courtside you have to be careful who you share things with, everyone isn’t looking out for you best interest!”
And this ^ is the whole truth. Your mate/spouse will be the one to trust because your interest affects them as well. Bingo.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
10:28 am
Single. I understand that…just not sure if only having one confidant in a persons life is healthy……
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
10:29 am
Heeeeeey Lady, I’m lurking and working
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
10:30 am
Purple – Still cooking, but martial arts on hold for a minute. We’ll get it cranking back up around late spring/summer!
How are Jules and the kiddies?
Ms J~
March 6th, 2013
10:31 am
I am behind and can’t keep up on anything socially right now lol between FB and this blog Iam lost lol anyway carry on~ #lol
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
10:32 am
Morning MIA!
Seems like most of you have already hit on what I would say. I don’t think I’d marry a man that I didn’t consider my best friend. In my previous long term relationships, I considered the men at the time to be my best friends. If you can’t talk to your SO about everything, then why marry him?
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:32 am
Court if your marred, would there be things you didn’t want to share with your spouse?
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
10:32 am
And by no means do I advocate blabbing all over town, but I have a best buddy that has been my friend since they moved in next door to my family when we were 4…… Should forgo trusting and confiding in him when / if i should get married???? What kind of person “dismisses” a lifetime of friendship?
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
10:33 am
Lady – No worries, it’s ’bout the same….
Alright, back to lurking, I got stuff I gotta do
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
10:33 am
Single- that is true; everyone is not looking out for your best interests.
Courtside- I think you can share things with different people; the difference is how much you share and how personal those details are. Different folks serve different functions in your life.
Button
March 6th, 2013
10:34 am
I will never advocate putting friends of any kind above your spouse.
disco
March 6th, 2013
10:36 am
courtside – I actually think a person can get by without having a confidante. some folks are big on sharing every freaking thing. it’s their nature. some folks are more prone to keeping everything to themselves anyway (what I say yesterday – “to the grave” – lol). they don’t necessarily need someone to bounce everything off of.
courtside – a lot of folks forgo a lifetime of friendship. the whole cleave thing. I get it. I’ve had a few friends get married and get ghost. it’s par for the course. of course some of the marriages tanked and those same friends came back but it is what it is.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
10:36 am
I also feel that you can have several best friends in your life. I have a couple of people that I call my best friends. My future husband will be an additional best friend…
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:36 am
Court you don’t dismiss friendships, but you have to be careful, misery loves company.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
10:37 am
And furthermore, who really gets you and understands you more than your best friend? Why not let that person be your spouse?
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
10:41 am
I’ve also had friends go ghost once they get caught up with a man. It’s a shame to let your good friends go. I have one old friend who not only dropped me, but also dropped her best friend of 18 years all because of her man. I can understand going somewhat ghost in the beginning, but you just have to maintain your closest friendships. What happens when all falls apart and you’ve dropped all of your friends? You have to start over…
Button
March 6th, 2013
10:41 am
I agree Bluzgirl & MsAtl
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
10:43 am
Kimmie, everyone is doing well. Mini me is awesome, my daughter is special somehow she runs the show. She has established a dictatorship! Jules is Jules
From a male standpoint childhood friends respect your marriage, but there is always that bond between true male friends. With your spouse I think you should be able to let your gaurd down and share everything. There is nothing a friend should know that your spouse doesn’t, but there should be plenty your spouse knows that your friends don’t. In my humble opinion.
Button
March 6th, 2013
10:43 am
disco – Ive have that happen to me, I welcomed her back with open arms because I understood.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:48 am
Disco, it’s almost like looking in the mirror, (LOL) I’m with you on the “to the grave” thing. to hell with this full disclosure BS!! With most of my friends being women (platonic) I’ve had several get ghost, and come back, just had one contact me after 20 something years.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
10:48 am
Button/disco ~ I think we all have experienced a friend getting ghost being caught up in the throes of a new relationship. A true friends always comes back to the fold (lol).
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
10:49 am
Purple ~ all little girls run the show! Then they grow up and run the show (lol).
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
10:54 am
Sometimes, though…the friend who goes ghost burns that bridge. Usually, I will take them back, but this one who has let her man dictate her life will not be welcomed back with open arms…
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
10:56 am
Why not bluz? did she doe something wrong to you?
Button
March 6th, 2013
10:56 am
Letter #67 —-My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years. I contracted g herps when I was about 20 years old. I am now in my early 40s. I’m divorced, having been with my ex-husband for almost 20 years. He never caught the herps. None of my previous partners, to my knowledge, have contracted herps. My current boyfriend is a virg$in. This is the longest relationship he has ever been in. He had never had chex of any kind before me. I perform mouth chex on him, but due to my herps, he will not reciprocate. While he has gotten better about touching me, he does still thoroughly scrub his hands afterward. It makes me feel like he should be wearing a hazmat suit before coming near me. We have talked about this. While I feel his fear is irrational (I have not had an outbreak since I was in my early 20s) he feels it’s founded. I’ve offered to go on suppression therapy, and of course use rubber, but to no avail. Am I to be selibate for the rest of my life if we remain together? I need some help in finding a new way to discuss this with him. He is a great guy—kind, sweet, loving in every other way.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
10:57 am
My true friends have stood the test of time. We’ve been there for each other thru school, marriage, divorce, death, kids, no kids, sickness, legal troubles, moves to other states and other countries. You name it. They ebb and flow, no we don’t hang out like we used to because life happens, but they are my sisters. My friendship with them is different than that with my hubs, in different ways, not bad, I don’t shut one out for the other, just different. I don’t see the issue in that. I don’t have to define my level of friendship or what I tell one and not the other, etc. We’ve so moved beyond all that. We respect each other’s relationships and life choices and don’t interfere.
Yes, I’m one that needs that time to myself and with my girls from time to time. And there is not much really going on in my life I confide to hubs about that I can’t talk to the girls about too if I choose. Like some stuff unique to my family I tell hubs about but I might go more in detail with to my girls because they have known me longer and are like part of my family themselves. Nothing disrespectul or anything, just they are aware of more background info. Even that is not much, and most is stuff I wouldn’t have a problem talking about here – I just know nobody really cares!!LOL!!
It’s all not that hard, really.
disco
March 6th, 2013
10:58 am
purple – not to be all contrary (but it’s my nature) I’m sure there are plenty of friends who know the dirt that the spouse doesn’t know. it’s the nature of the beast.
button – I welcomed my girl back but I still talked about her like a dog. she knew the fool she was marrying wasn’t worth the spit it took to cuss him. just gone play me for him. lol.
bluz – I’m with you. there’s a few acquaintance type chicks that got ghost. as far as I’m concerned they can stay ghost. my friends, though, are like family. they can always get back in no matter what.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:00 am
Bluzgirl, my friends and I only lost one close friend in us all getting married. She chose to dismiss herself from the circle because our time as wives took priority over girl time.
As adults, especially married, all that hanging out with friends is a time of the past. Okay, yeah, get together for a birthday or whatever but that should be the most of that.
Adult lives just do not have place for all that “hanging out together”. Responsibilities if nothing else takes a toll on the time in any given day to not be running in packs like when we were teenagers.
If a so called friend cannot get with you having a committed relationship and a best-mate-friend outside of them, then how much for your happiness is that friend? And better yet, if a person cannot let go of that teenage type of friendship to give the necessary time and effort to a relationship, especially marriage, that person is not ready for a relationship. And definitely does not need to be getting married.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:00 am
Candid camera…again? Someone knows of someone having herpes and will allow oral performed, but with everything else and at all other times, he treats her like she’s got the bubonic plague???
This sounds like a Steve Harvey Letter
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
11:01 am
Wow, well he likes the girl enough to still entertain her and not leave because she has herpes. She should continue to work through it with him. If they become best friends and make the life long commitment of marriage he might as well go all in and get her herpes too. That’s a zinger a virgins first sexual partner has herpes.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
11:01 am
S/H – It’s just the way she has acted the past three years…she just dropped me when I did nothing to her. I tried to maintain the friendship. I understand when a relationship is new, you tend to drop your friends a bit. The worst part was her dropping her best friend of 18 years for no reason. She has let this man control her. She won’t even talk on the phone to anyone when he is home (they live together). It’s just crazy and it really did hurt me when she dropped me like I didn’t matter…
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:01 am
’m with you. there’s a few acquaintance type chicks that got ghost. as far as I’m concerned they can stay ghost Now these kind you don’t even notice they got ghost until they come back (LOL)
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
11:03 am
disco, of course that’s part of the “bond” some stuff should be kept in the dark and the spouse never needs to find out. But those past things, that happened before the spouse came along should be in the past. Except for herpes, that stuff never stays in the past. LOL
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:03 am
“We respect each other’s relationships and life choices and don’t interfere.”
Kimmie, EXACTLY! Anybody crying over their friend not being available to spend time with them because they are off busy being a spouse and parent needs to grow the heck up.
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:04 am
raqi – point taken. I get it. I understand. I agree. thing is, every marriage isn’t fairy tale. every husband/wife isn’t grand. some folks get into abusive relationships and then cut everyone off. it’s not a good look. your relationship with friends and family may change when you get married but I don’t think it’s wise to shut them out completely the way some people tend to do.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:04 am
While I feel his fear is irrational – G herpes and she thinks it’s irrational for him not to go there. Outbreak or no outbreak, hell, he probably feels he’ll activate something.
Perhaps I didn’t get enough sleep last night, but is she saying “selibate” [sic] in that he never plans on losing his virginity while with her. He’s ejaculated, had a woman’s mouth on him, he’s not virgin (lol) Only thing is he hasn’t been inside a woman. Sounds like she needs to find a more understanding mate.
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
11:05 am
Bluz, did you reach out to her and tell her how it hurt you? If not you should and see what happens, maybe you guys can still be friends maybe not. Sometimes a person is not being dictated by their spouse they are just being committed to their spouse and their new life. Sometimes that life doesnt have room for the level of outside friendships that were once there.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:06 am
Bluz, put your big girl pants on, it happens my friend that just contacted me was telling me about all the things I did for her, and was there for her when no one else was. Hell I don’t even remember any of it. (LOL) Life is to short to be holding grudges!!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:07 am
“The worst part was her dropping her best friend of 18 years for no reason.”
Bluzgirl, but is it really dropping her best friend or just being preoccupied with her life? Just because I don’t talk to my friends every day or even every week does not mean we are no longer friends.
We hardly even see each other more than 2-3 times a month these days. And some of those sighting are bumping into each other at Publix or at the mall.
If you are giving more time to the outside than to your relationship, your relationship is going to soon end.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:08 am
Celisea ~ she has genital herpes. Guess he thinks her mouth is safe. Wonder how he reacts when she gets a fever blister???
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:10 am
Leggs – I gathered. I just don’t understand him being oh so precautious but willing to get his wang blowed. IJS If you got something, you got something and I don’t want to risk in any way, catching what you got. He may not, but IJS, I wouldn’t want to run that risk. So, he takes a risk to get off, but won’t run the risk for getting her off? Yeah, that’s fair. If you’re in, you’re in.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
11:10 am
How complete a person can you be if all you are is a spouse / parent??? My parents were together for over 30 years until thier passing and they both ALWAYS found time to do things and had relationships that did not include the other…… My dad was a Mason and played softball every year ( Until he got sick) and my mom had her book club and her college friends would go to the casinos a few times a year with out fail. All that and they still managed to be at ball games and track meets and whatnot….
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:11 am
Raqi – Heck, we don’t have the time to even talk on the phone a lot, much less “hang out”! Not enough hours in the day!
My girls & I get together about 3 times a year to do lunch/dinner & shop. I had a Super Bowl party that was like a UGA reunion. But that’s all we can handle.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:12 am
“If you are giving more time to the outside than to your relationship, your relationship is going to soon end.”
And there you have it. Next topic!
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:13 am
raqi – the friend I mentioned earlier who got married, fell off, got separated, came back and eventually divorced – her first husband started pulling her away from friends long before he married her. he literally told her outright he didn’t want her dealing with me and a few other folks. (she didn’t tell us this until after the divorce). we worked through it but I told her straight out if she ever let a man tell her not to deal with me again she might as well make up her mind right then and there to not deal with me. that’s some freaking bull.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:13 am
Disco, I know that. Those examples you gave are not the norm but the exception.
My marriage is not a fairy tale and neither is any of my friends but our responsibility as wives and mothers come first. As grown women we are not supposed to be hanging out like teenagers anyway.
My friends are not my friends because we talk every day. They are my friends because when I need them they are here for me and I am there for them. Despite the fact that we may not have seen each other in a month.
This trying to hold on to those high school doings is not what grown up life is about.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:13 am
You have to move with the course of life. I have bffs but we don’t talk or chat or make appointments to meet up, as we’ve all ventured down life’s path. Yeah, back when we were single and without kids and had nothing but time and money to blow, we could get together and do things. Well, life happens and priorities set in and you shift your time and space to those things that take a front seat. Something is wrong if you and your bff have to be glued in order to know you’re still bffs. We occasionally meet and have lunch, chat and catch up or grab an hour to talk on the phone and catch up and say, until next time. We’re still bffs though.
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
11:13 am
It is kind of hypocritical of the guy to put it in her mouth and not put it in her or return the favor of pleasing her orally.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:14 am
Celisea ~ I know. Guess he’s throwing a small amount of caution to the wind, but letting caution jump leaps and bounds to get to what he perceives to be his promised land at the moment.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:15 am
Leggs – Yep. He’s not very smart if he’s trying to avoid. IMO, that’s no exchanging or swapping of NOTHING, altogether. But, the letter said he was a virgin (and I’ll add), green no doubt.
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
11:16 am
What I was getting at is I’ve never been one to talk ‘out of school’ about a relationship and say anything to a friend that I couldn’t say to my SO. Honestly, if I couldn’t talk to ‘em, I didn’t stick around long.
Likewise, I hated when former flames and brushfires would feel the need to discuss our relationship with their friends and not me. Seriously, “what the hell can she tell you? Let alone do anything about it/me?”
I look(ed) at disagreements as a chance to improve communication and get a better understanding of each other. I think adding third and fourth parties to that process muddles it.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:17 am
Court – Kimmie, goes to show how everyone’s situation is different, what works for some doesn’t work for all. As for me I don’t have friends that I hang out with on a regular basis, but I have no problem with my S/O hanging with her friends, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our plans.
Purple Reign
March 6th, 2013
11:19 am
Dan, I agree. Keep your business between those involved.
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:19 am
disco – I agree @ 11:04.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
11:19 am
Purple – I did reach out to her a few times and tell her how hurt I was and how much I missed her and she promised to change things. It was back to the same old thing…not hearing from her, not getting responses from her. Her excuse has always been “there’s a lot going on and I just can’t talk about it now.” It’s really sad. I never expected us to still hang out all the time and talk on the phone every other day, but at least every once in a while isn’t too much to ask. She just ignored certain important things in my life and wasn’t there when I needed her. We always said we were sisters, but once this man came in, she didn’t need her sister anymore. I have bad feelings about what may be going on behind closed doors, but I can’t do anything about it…
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:19 am
Virgin means pure, never having sex. He may not have penetrated a woman, but his ding a ling is not virgin!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:20 am
“her first husband started pulling her away from friends long before he married her”
Disco, RED FLAG! She clearly walked into that disaster. Being controlled by a person is not the same as being controlled by life. My husband does not tell me I cannot spend time with my friends. My life does. You become an adult and this is what you get. Busy responsibilities.
Your friend’s relationship is not the median. That situation is not to be compared to what is being discussed today.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:20 am
Apparently, he doesn’t know that…lol
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:21 am
Anything more than a 2-some in a marriage muddles the water.
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:21 am
all of my friends live in different states. we surely don’t have “hang out” type relationships. heck, we can go years without seeing one another. we don’t even talk all of the time. sometimes more frequently, sometimes less. even with extended gaps we catch up quick and fall right back in where we left off. truth be told, I’m cool with the friends I’ve got. most certainly not checking for new friends. I’m good. lol.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
11:24 am
Soooo. disco, I can forget about you being my most recent BFF huh??? LOLOLOLOL
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:24 am
Celisea, Thank you.
If you have time to be upset and monitor the time your “friends” have for you then how much of a life do you honestly have? Maybe the problem is you need to get a life like your friend has come up on.
(Not you but you know what I am saying. I am agreeing with you. LOL)
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:25 am
Raqi – I know where you’re coming from and what works for you works for you, It doesn’t mean that everyone else not doing it as you are is wrong either. We don’t live in a monochromatic world. There are so many different ways people maintain a marriage and friendships that lasts a lifetime.
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:25 am
raqi – what was being discussed was married folks pulling away from their friends. that’s what went down. maybe abusive relationships wasn’t the topic but it still tied in to the discussion.
court – hush.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:27 am
even with extended gaps we catch up quick and fall right back in where we left off.
Disco – Same with mine.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:27 am
Raqi – I get it….make sense to me
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:27 am
And all the “woe me, my friend is gone” is more evidence that your spouse should be your best friend. You will see them and interact with them everyday. Everyone else falling in their secondary respective places.
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:31 am
raqi – and when a chick is “woe is me, my man is gone.” who she crying to? lol. sorry that one was just to easy. lol. no one person (spouse, parent, child) should ever be somebody’s everything but that’s just my way of thinking.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:33 am
Button, there is a right way and then there is a “MY” way. In a marriage you agree to forsake all others and be joined to that one person. That’s the right way.
However anyone manage to work in the others is fine, but be it known that no one has a place to get their drawers bunch when its time to forsake all others. It’s a vow. A promise.
Dating and courting is one thing, but marriage is whole other entity. Marriage = The non-marriage minded need not apply.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
March 6th, 2013
11:34 am
“no one person (spouse, parent, child) should ever be somebody’s everything ”
^5 (Courtside co-sign)
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
11:35 am
Raqi – to answer your earlier question…she really did just drop her best friend…at first, maybe it was her being preoccupied with her life. After a year of being with this man, though, she just dropped out. Her best friend even moved down here from OH and she hasn’t seen her yet (about 2.5 years). I’m very close to the best friend…
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:37 am
Court – My parents were kind of the same. I think where I’ve seen problems come in is when each have a different view of what a relationship and marriage should entail. For example, one of my nieces broke off her engagement. Her now ex saw his parents glued to each other, one did not go anywhere without the other except to work and his mom did not drive. She depended on his dad for everything. Neither had outside friendships or hobbies or anything. As a result, this is how my neices ex thought a normal relationship should be. She on the other had saw her parents marriage more like yours and mine. He got very possessive and would get upset if she even came over to our house and hung out with me & hubs! It was a sign of things to come if she had stayed in that relationship.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:39 am
Disco, yes that is a good comeback.
Don’t get me wrong I am not saying one person should be your everything. I have friends. What I am saying is life decision call for certain inconveniences. When you choose to get married you choose to be one with another person. That person comes first. Not only but first. A misconception of many.
I didn’t make the rules, I am just a player in the game.
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:40 am
Raqi – In a marriage you agree to forsake all others and be joined to that one person.—I agree.
Forsake means to abandon, turn away give up, quit. Now I’m no Bible scholar but I believe this means turning away others for spousal purposes, not friends that you need in life.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:40 am
Raqi, someone who actually believes in that part of the vow. seems when ever I mention that i’m told there are exceptions!!
disco
March 6th, 2013
11:42 am
raqi – I’m not arguing. I said awhile back that I get it. I understand the concept of cleaving. I understand that folks are grown and relationships change. just – and I hate to use the word (lol) – a healthy “balance” is called for.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:42 am
Button, hmmm so that’s what you get from “forsake all others” ??
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:44 am
only person that comes first in my life is Yah!
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
11:46 am
Disco- I wholeheartedly agree with your statement that one person should not be your everything. I always say that a partner should complement you, not complete you. I am already complete, I don’t need anyone to complete me and I am not interested in half a man.
While married, I was dedicated to my family, but I also had my own interests. For instance, I liked to participate in Habitat for Humanity and other community service. Sometimes I took my children with me. That way they learned to contribute to the community and we also were doing something together. I also had my time where I would meet up with my girlfriends for dinner or something once a month. Your life does not have to stop when you get booed up or married; your priorities just change.
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:47 am
Single – Yep! now you can believe it however YOU choose to believe but for me that’s what I believe. It refers to fidelity. Hence that’s one of the reasons to marry, procreate and fidelity –help mate.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:47 am
The problem is too many folks want to still live the single life after they are married. Some stuff you need to go on and get out of your system and let go before you marry. Otherwise you will always have issues in your relationship. Sure it’s fine to have friends and hobbies and such, but anything that is a detriment to the relationship needs to go. Everything in moderation and in it’s proper place.
Again, it’s really not that hard. If you just can’t bear the thought of not hanging out until 4 in the morning drinking with your buddies every weekend, then please stay single, all of you.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:49 am
Your life does not have to stop when you get booed up or married; your priorities just change.
MsAtl – And there we have it! See folks, not that hard!
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:49 am
Kimmie – you had me until you said driking until 4 am! lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:49 am
Disco, we cool. LOL And balance I agree with. Without balance I could not be talking to all right now because I have laundry to fold. LOL
Seriously for me though I have learned to try to see everything and structure it the same.
I chose to get knocked up and become a mother. When that cry out pierces my ears at 2am in the morning for whatever reason, heck I wish every time that I could ignore it a not be a mother until 6am but I don’t have that choice. I chose to be a mother.
That is all I am saying. We have to go with the course of life with the decisions we make. Losing sleep to comfort a sick child is the same to me a losing a friend or associate because my decision to be a wife cannot afford it. Certain things are just what happens.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:50 am
Button, cool. you just have to know who you’re marrying and that they feel the same way.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:51 am
“Your life does not have to stop when you get booed up or married; your priorities just change.”
We have winner.
MsAtl, we will now hear you blog award acceptance speech.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
11:51 am
Are we still talking friendships and bffs? I’m pushing a clingy chick over the cliff….point blank. I’ll get butt cheeks and elbows from folks that take issues with me and my boo getting closer and spending more time. The main ones taking issues with you, are usually nonbooedbffs and mad cause you got stuff going on. Let them get a man! You ain’t gon see nothing but wind.
BBL….when the topic changes
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:52 am
Button –
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:52 am
Button ~ that’s my take on “foresake all others” as well. Cleave unto your husband/wife for whatever it is you need from your marriage, do not go outside seeking it from others. Foresake all else that potentially may damage your marriage. Real friends don’t damage.
Foresake all others, the ones where misery loves company, gossipy friends, isht starters, etc. Foresake everything negative in your life before marriage!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:53 am
Kimmie, what is the single life??
Again, it’s really not that hard. If you just can’t bear the thought of not hanging out until 4 in the morning drinking with your buddies every weekend, then please stay single, all of you. How do you do that and still be in a relationship??
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
11:54 am
Kimmie, you 11:47 nicely sums up all I have been trying to say. I wish you would have said it earlier so I could have saved myself some key strokes. LOL
If you want to live single don’t get married. If you want to maintain friendships closer than that of your spouse skip the marriage and keep the friends.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:55 am
So button, Leggs, Kimmie. How do you handle when your friends and family doesn’t like your mate?
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:55 am
Single – trust me, he will! That’s why I said you’re not cheating until you’re married. You can’t commit adulty when you’re dating/relationship…hence forsaking all others!
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
11:56 am
Kimmie- I’m with you on the staying out till 4 am thing. In my opinion, as you grow & mature, you cut down or cut out certain things. If you are in a committed relationship and choose to go to the club, just come in at a decent time; you don’t have to shut the club down every time. Like we discussed previously- ain’t nothing open after a certain time except legs and Crystal’s.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:57 am
Single ~ they ain’t sleeping with him, I am…NEXT!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:57 am
Button, at least we agree on that point (LOL)
Button
March 6th, 2013
11:58 am
Single – I’ve never had to endure that position.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
11:59 am
Seriously, Single, I’ve never been in a situation where a family member didn’t care for the person I was dating. I won’t be too concerned if a friend didn’t like him. Hopefully, what she sees that I’m not seeing will not stop her from being my friend. And, when I do see what she sees, she’s right there w/arms open wide.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
11:59 am
Msatl, what if I’m taking Cyrstal to Ihop
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
11:59 am
. How do you do that and still be in a relationship??
Single – Some folks try it and look at you like you’re crazy if you don’t go along with it!
I don’t know about your definition of the single life(and I’m talking not in a serious exclusive relationship or married). My definition is being able to make decisions without having to consider another person. You can pick up and go to Vegas tomorrow and the only person you need to let know is your job.
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
12:01 pm
Single- It’s not easy. Plenty of folks did not like my ex. One friend would call to make sure he wasn’t home before she visited, others would not come to the house at all. Family members tolerated him but either would not visit or would stay in a hotel. He was my spouse and I chose to marry him and they all understood that. They didn’t have to like him, but they also knew not to disrespect him because that was who I chose to share my life with. Was he an a$$? Perhaps, but the way I saw it, he was my a$$ and I stuck by him until “I” made the decision that I could not any longer. Funny though, after it was over, I got visitors again, lol.
Button
March 6th, 2013
12:02 pm
Single – I’ figured you’d likey! lol
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
12:02 pm
Single- I don’t think I-Hip is open at 4 am; you’re thinking of Waffle House, lol.
disco
March 6th, 2013
12:03 pm
well at the end of the day I hope that everyone remembers what side their bread is buttered on. lol. go getting all brand new on folks and then turn around and need them.
Button
March 6th, 2013
12:04 pm
disco – lol
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:05 pm
Msatl Ihop is open 24 hrs round here.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:06 pm
Single – I’ve never really had much of an issue with that. My parents kind of set the tone early on what they would or would not accept in their house. They helped to shape my view on the kind of man I wanted and it was a great thing. I never felt the desire to rebel and go get a “bad boy”! I never brought trash around my family. So the most I’ve ever had to deal with was some differences in opinions or some personality clashes. Everyone always remained respectful of each other though.
If I really felt good about my decision to be with a man though, I would not let my family get in the way of that. My family and friends know this – I have a mind of my own and I’m not afraid to use it! If any of them had not liked my hubs, that would not have stopped me from marrying him!
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
12:07 pm
Single- What the? You mean if I want pancakes in the middle of the night I don’t have to cook them myself? It’s on now!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:10 pm
Kimmie, unless we’re married, you have no say in any decisions I make, I have ran into this several times. IE, I will buy a new car on a whim, I’m not discussing this with a girlfriend. Now when it comes to trips, I will mention it, and if they hem and haw about going, I will see you when I get back! Tomorrow is not promised so I’m enjoying today!
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
12:10 pm
Mmmmmm…IHOP…dang…now I want some pancakes!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:12 pm
Kimmie it’s not really rebel, most friends and family don’t like the others mate because of things that the person tell them. you know most only share the bad times, not the good. My thing is if you’re still there it’s not all that bad, so I have know problem with them.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
12:15 pm
IHOP pancakes are too soft. I like a little crunch on my pancakes.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
12:18 pm
Leggs, forsaking all others means exactly what it says. Like I was telling Celisea earlier my dad has given me the best lessons about marriage than anyone else.
Friends and family are biased. Mostly hardly ever give unbiased advice. Forsaking all others mean deal with your marital issues within your marriage. Stay away from those well-intentioned folks that cannot see right because they a blinded by your kinship and friendship.
And as Kimmie mentioned the staying out until 1,2 – 4am. When you are funning it up with your “bestie” they are likely not to tell you you need to go home. You are not supposed to hanging out like you are and you have a spouse at home. We don’t consider those to be the negative that you speak of. Those are our friends. That is what has to be forsaken. We easily recognize the bad but the what we call the good is not all the time in our best interest.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:23 pm
I cannot believe we are in March. I’m cleaning out emails cause “your mailbox is almost full” keeps popping up. I cannot believe I was just telling folks HNY via email. I cannot believe my kid will be 18 in a month
Lord, where did the time go? I cannot believe I’ve made it this far. I can look back and remember times feeling all bleak and stuff.
Thank ya Jesus!!
Okay, I’ve got a lunch date in about 20 minutes
Toodles (for now)!!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
12:23 pm
Raqi ~ I get what it means, but you don’t forsake everyone. You forsake anyone and everyone that will cause trouble in your marriage even your parents, friends, coworkers, or who ever. Forsake means to leave or separate yourself from. If you want your marriage to work than this statement will never be unreasonable.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:23 pm
MsAtl, you know none of those people would not have ever been welcomed in my house, and I wouldn’t have went around them. to me that means not only do you not respect my mate, but you have no respect for me or my decisions. I’m not crazy about my son’s wife, but I will never say anything bad to him about her, and I will be nice to her because she is his wife, and the mother of my grandchildren, it was his choice to make, not mine!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
12:24 pm
Does your daughter have a car, Celisea? if not, aAre you giving her one for her 18th bady (lol)?
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:27 pm
Leggs – Not yet. She started out all gung ho, studying the Driver’s Ed (whatever you call it) book and that dropped off. I’m just waiting to see what she’s gonna do. I hadn’t planned to
I bought my first car at 18, a blue Chevy Cavalier, 6 months old when I got it. She ain’t exactly cut from the same cloth as I was (not saying that to sound ugly). She’s taking after her dad in soooo many ways. Just think things are gonna fall on her. We’re doing a bit of “tough love”, she ain’t exactly all that pleased with me these days. I’m making her “go get” what she wants. Hopefully, in the long run she’ll come to appreciate.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:27 pm
Kimmie, unless we’re married, you have no say in any decisions I make, I have ran into this several times. IE, I will buy a new car on a whim, I’m not discussing this with a girlfriend.
Single – See you are talking extremes, in my opinion anyway. H no I never discussed major purchases or decisions with a boyfriend. I might mention it because I am curious what their experience with a Honda or a Ford was, but that’s it. I’ve said many times I don’t believe in mixing finances and other major stuff until marriage.
There is a certain respect you give to a relationship that might not be at what you would give a marriage, but not like you are totally single either. Like I dated a guy that tried to be evasive all the time and keep me off balance. He could have been messing with others too, but he used to just try to get a rise out of me, and we had been dating over a year. He would leave town and sometimes even leave the country and not even mention a word of it to me. No, as he said, he didn’t have to “report” to me or anything. But when I call a few times over the course of a weekend or even a week and here nothing and find out you went out of town and see the smirk on your face when you tell me, its game playing. If I’m going somewhere I’ll at least mention in passing “yeah I gotta go to Chicago next week for a meeting”. No big deal. But he knew that made his girlfriends in the past mad and he wanted to start some mess with me. 2nd time he did it, I made no mention of it. He couldn’t understand when he got back from his trip and had no messages from me!
But you know exactly what I’m talking about Single. Such behavior and thought processes don’t just cut off when you get married. Whatever works for you.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:29 pm
She’s always “cute” though. She LOVES when folks say, “with your cute self” or “you’re so pretty”….yeah, that’ll feed you and provide for you…IJS
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
12:31 pm
And for the record, I don’t like all the rules of marriage but I agreed to abide by them. Am I 100% compliant heck no. But I cannot deny what is right.
Sometimes I just want to be left alone but that choice is not mine to make when my responsibilities as a wife are to be tended to.
Here is one I know all of you can relate to. Sex. The rule of marriage says my body is not mine to withhold from him and his body is not his to withhold from me. But sometimes I just want to be left alone so I will call a headache or an “aunt flow” when she packed her bags and left a week ago. Some days I guiltily take my happy behind on to sleep headache and blood free knowing it’s not right. But then there are times when I do engage despite wanting to be left alone because I made the vow.
So yeah I am no angel but I will not deny the truth.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
12:33 pm
“See you are talking extremes, in my opinion anyway”
Kimmie, don’t you just love the way those (The Extremes) are always the attempt to drive a point home? LOL
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
12:33 pm
Single- Honestly speaking, the dislike was earned. It did not start out that way. As I said, my family was not rude to him, they socialized with him and everything. It just got to a point that the more he accomplished and the more successful he became, he forgot where he came from, became arrogant, and started putting down everyone else. He really pushed folks away (even colleagues). It just took longer for me because I was of the mind that you had your mate’s back. It was an eye opener for me when he put me down because I was “just an attorney,” not a partner in a firm or anything that he deemed prestigious. I could not in good conscious ban people from my house when it was him who was the source of the bad feelings.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
12:34 pm
O/T: Oh boy, need to clean out my ears. My stopped at my desk and asked “when do I want to schedule trouble?” I looked at him with
thinking quickly what type of crappy project I’m about to embark on. I guess my silence stumped him and he repeated “when do I want to schedule eating a truffle?” Oh my….
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
12:34 pm
“There is a certain respect you give to a relationship”
If you can’t think like a couple stay unmarried.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:36 pm
Raqi – Yep!LOL!! It’s always an extreme or an exception. If you get it you get it, if you don’t, oh well…..
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:36 pm
Kimmie it may sound extreme, but it happened happen to me more than once. Even had one tell me that they needed a new car and couldn’t afford one, and I didn’t and had one, needless to say that one didn’t last long after that.
disco
March 6th, 2013
12:36 pm
raqi / kimmie – well if we all just said “do you / whatever works for you / to each his own/ we’ll agree to disagree” right off the bat we wouldn’t have all this interesting back and forth. how much fun would that be?
HST
March 6th, 2013
12:37 pm
I am with my best friend, and she is my lover as well. In my younger years, friendship might not of quantified a relationship.
My LTR and I get more compliments on our happiness, good time, demeanor, and you name if it’s positive. Yes, we have ruff patches (never lasts more than hours, and maybe a day or two once or twice in 13 years), but we would never belittle (FTR, we’ve never belittled each other without an ‘I’m sorry’ very soon, and it was subjective matter anyways) or argue with each other in public. Our arguments are trivial, and never on core issues. No joke, if we’re out the whole day doing our thing, we at least get two compliments on us having fun with each other or something of the sort.
I could go on and on about being with your best friend and its benefits.
Let me just say this, real friendship isn’t complicated. You hold to your obligations, duty, responsibilities, honor, honesty, be there, and love that person unconditionally. You don’t ever let your real friends down. You just don’t. Love has many facets, and when you find that unconditional love for a person – that’s the one. Sex is so much fun in the beginning, but soon enough you’ll be sitting on the couch together. Maybe I’ve gotten older, but sex and attraction – this isn’t to say let go of yourself, or such – is nothing compared to friendship.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:37 pm
Has happened that is.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:37 pm
If you can’t think like a couple stay unmarried.
Raqi – And that thought process does not cut on like a faucet the second you marry. It just doesn’t.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
12:37 pm
Mine still hasn’t gotten her license. She will get it his summer (hopefully). She’s in no rush to learn how to drive. I started late just because of where I lived, but I’m telling her she has to learn how to drive and be independent. I think/hope it happens this summer. She does drive some, just not enough.
And I tell her to take the cute/pretty comments with a grain of salt because they won’t sustain her in life. I know what you’re saying.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:39 pm
Single- These extreme things always seem to happen to you in your relationships though. Maybe it’s not them……….
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:39 pm
This place is a riot!! lolol BBL after my lunch date
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
12:40 pm
Finances start to matter once you get engaged. All purchases should be discussed because now you have made a promise to merge wallets. Your fiancé has all the right in the word to have an opinion on how you spend money. Your spending will affect them in the long run.
You cannot go and finance a car in an engagement and not expect your betrothed to be concerned. They have a right to be. Soon your car note with become “our” car note.
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
12:41 pm
Disco – No fun at all, but if I truly wanted to end it with “do you” I wouldn’t discuss it anymore!LOL!!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:41 pm
Kimmie yea there is a common denominator, THEY ALL F@(KED UP!! (LOL)
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:42 pm
Leggs – Exactly. I’m there with you, I agree. Hopefully, my kid will get a hankering and start getting behind the wheel, getting in practice. Yeah, that pretty stuff, I don’t bother her too much with that cause she’s young and hopefully will learn that substance substance substance….
They’re young folks, so some things we grant…for now
Alright, for real, I gotta run. I’m suppose to be downstairs at 12:45
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
understood Msatl
HST
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
Moreover, marriage and kids aren’t for everyone. My LTR and I have been “Happily un-married for 13 years”, and we both say that.
We were both married, and hated it. I have a teenager from my marriage. I feel like we have it all. Even my biggest Jesuit friends say don’t change a thing.
disco
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
kimmie – you funny. that’s what we are here for. to discuss things. if we ever come up on a topic that we all agree on wholeheartedly 100% then we need a powerball pool.
Ms J~
March 6th, 2013
12:45 pm
amazing~
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
12:52 pm
Looks like the topic may have stalled…
Button…you got another letter you can throw out here? I don’t think we were ready to discuss the other one earlier…
HST
March 6th, 2013
12:52 pm
Make your children get their learners ladies, it’s a written test, so if they don’t wanna drive immediately then fine.
I did what my Dad did. I put a brand new car in the garage when my son got his learners permit. I told him A’s or the best he can do, and good behavior etc. will make you receive that car on your 16th birthday. He’s been ultra good, especially since I put him in public school, because I felt he was to sheltered from private school.
Later on, right before my father’s death; my father told me that that’s what he did to motivate me, and how proud he was of me. I still haven’t forgot that moment, and strive everyday to be a better man than my Dad; but that has been a journey to say the least.
Still. Motivated. Today.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:53 pm
Bluz, did that advalorum law change this month or last year?
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:00 pm
RE: Advalorum – This month, but the last 3 months if you choose on a vehicle purchased.
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
1:01 pm
My “Luver” (Lover)should be a bad word…..its such a lame word.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:02 pm
Handing your kid the keys to venture out onto the dangerous highway alone for the first time is an unsettling feeling that you never get used to. This second was not less nerve-racking than the first. And the 3rd and 4th time will be even more intensified because I will be an old lady then. LOL
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:03 pm
S/H – The new tax went into affect on March 1st. You can opt in to it if you’ve bought a car after 1/1/12…
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
1:04 pm
@Kimmie
That faucet comment is more truthful than people care to admit. Being married on Tuesday shouldn’t change how you all interact (or your responsibility to one another) on Monday or Wednesday.
That thought process and (lack/arguments about) money are the #1 marriage killers.
If we’re building, to marriage or some approximation of it, shouldn’t we be working on a way to bring our lives together? I mean really, you weren’t single before “I do”, “will you”, and certainly ’bout the time the thought of it popped into either head and was collectively discussed, so why act like it?
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:06 pm
Exiled, why?
Raqi, teach em’ how to drive well, send then to a real driving school, and all should be well. We’re all a statistic waiting to happen one way or another. By driving school, I mean a HPDE (high performance driving education). Your child will drive well for the rest of their lives from one of those classes.
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
1:06 pm
But sometimes I just want to be left alone so I will call a headache or an “ant flow” when she packed her bags and left a week ago.
@Raqi..I have forgiven u for those sins because u came clean..and confesses in front of the Whole world
Now,give the man sum tonite,to atone for that.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:08 pm
I recently got a new vehicle, they didn’t ask me about it.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:10 pm
S&H, then in the state’s mind you wanna pay advalorum for the rest of the vehicles life. There’s a deadline that’s about to expire on vehicles purchased before 03-01-13.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:11 pm
edit* vehicle’s life with you as the owner.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:12 pm
HST for me a lifetime has been 4 years at the most (LOL)
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:14 pm
It’s funny to me how guys are so much more loose in their thinking when it comes to theirs sons compared to their daughters.
TheMan is forever reminding “Raqi leave him alone he’s a boy. I’ll catch him before he goes too far” with the teen. Constantly.
With the babe it’s the same. Last week at church on of the little girls came up and kissed M,jr. on the cheek. Oh boy, all I got was “that’s my boy” proudly. However that very same day we were having dinner out with a couple friend and their two kids. Their son mimicking the way his dad had his arm on the back his mother’s chair did the same to our little Liz’s . What do you think TheMan said? “She is not getting married until she turns 30 and will not be allowed to date until she is 35.”
Boy…how the sentiments change with the sex of the offspring.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:16 pm
S&H, I feel ya. I just have some cars that I’d never let go of. I have 3 cars and a motorcycle registered in Ga. All my “expensive cars” are registered in Fl at my house there. I save about 5K a year doing that. Still, my tags here are 2.5k.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:18 pm
HST, all of the has been done. I soon got over being nervous riding with him as I did with the oldest knucklehead. But as a mother, handing off those keys for them to venture out there alone…I will never get used to it.
But he has been driving alone for a while now and has made it back safely every time. LOL However I am always nervous the whole time he is gone until I hear him come back in the door.
Just being a mother I guess.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:21 pm
Raqi, I’d probably be easier on my daughter if I had one than my son. I’d probably spoil her worse, but that isn’t to mean I’d tolerate bad behavior in any form. Saying your “daughter can’t date until 30,” in my mind means she’ll be having sex and lying about it. Pretty extreme words.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:23 pm
HST, may try to wear the tires out on this one, (haven’t got a set of tires out of need since 98)
Button
March 6th, 2013
1:25 pm
Letter #90—–My boyfriend and I have been a couple for a year, and we recently moved in together. He is a very intelligent, mature, caring, and funny man, and I feel our relationship has a great chance at “going the distance.” Since we began cohabitating I found out he has a strange habit: He keeps a remnant of his baby blanket inside his pillow case and, after he thinks I am asleep, he pulls it out and sucks on it. I discovered this while changing the sheets one morning and noticed a wet spot on his pillowcase. I tried to talk about this with him, but he became embarrassed and refuses any attempt to discuss it. The habit itself is not a deal-breaker. What is a deal-breaker is the wet blanket, which has a smell. I want to hand wash it, but I don’t want to do this without his permission. I understand the blanket might help him relieve some anxiety; it’s the hygiene issue that bothers me. I can’t wrap my head around kissing him in the morning knowing that he’s been sucking on the blanket at night. How do I raise the issue of washing the blanket? And is this a “normal” thing, or does it suggest deeper issues?
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:26 pm
S/H – when did you buy your car? Dealers were supposed to give the option between Jan 1 and March 1 this year, but I found that they didn’t. You can opt in through the DMV
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:26 pm
Raqi, that sounds normal. I worry always about my boy as well. I just trust him, and know I raised him properly. Bad choices are a part of life – we’ve all made them.
FTR, I had to scream it out with his mother for his 15th birthday present – a road legal scooter. We finally came to an agreement that a tracking device would work for him to use it. I make him wear a full-face helmet, and his detests it; but I tell him don’t mess up the money maker if ya wreck or get hit. I worry daily…
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:27 pm
And the deadline to opt in is Dec 31st, so you have plenty of time
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:28 pm
I can’t wrap my head around kissing him in the morning knowing that he’s been sucking on the blanket at night. And this is your hygiene problem, what about brushing your dang teeth (LOL)
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:28 pm
You can check out this website to see if it’s beneficial for you to opt in: http://onlinemvd.dor.ga.gov/Tap/welcome.aspx
I do car loans and we are learning all about this…
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:29 pm
Bluz, Feb 2
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:29 pm
“…has a great chance at “going the distance.” – couldn’t read any further. A great “chance?” Why move in together??
Button
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
Single – morning breath! lol
have him get up early to brush, floss and mouth wash!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
Now, I’m sorry I even read the rest of the letter!!!!
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
That’s a pretty big deadline Bluz, good to know. I thought it ended in April or something. Thanks for sharing that.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:32 pm
Afternoon, all.
I see we’re talking about buying cars…..I’ll be buying one soon.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:34 pm
ITL why the sad face?
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:36 pm
@Stamps: I’m buying a new one, bc I was in a wreck and totaled my previous one.
Thankfully, everyone was okay (minus one broken foot). But hey – I look cute in a spaceboot. LOL 
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:36 pm
Leggs, I’m a little ole fashion like that , to me going the distance is getting married not moving in together
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:38 pm
LOL Exiled. What’s there to hide? I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. However that does not keep me from stating what I know to be the truth. Telling the truth is a good disciplinary action. It keeps me mindful of the things I am supposed to be doing.
The babies are spending the day with the grand-godmother until tomorrow so we will see how things go this evening. LOL
I think there’s about 3 commercials between Survivor ending and Criminal Minds coming on. We’ll see. LOL
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:40 pm
I think there’s about 3 commercials between Survivor ending and Criminal Minds coming on. We’ll see
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:42 pm
Same here, Single.
Hey there, ITL.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:42 pm
Hey, Leggs!!
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:43 pm
S&H, 1:28 – agreed totally.
If that’s the worst thing your man does, a good woman can fix that.
I have the largest lean female Doberman in the AKC in the US (quite possible the world, I’ve been posting on Dobie fancier sites). She’s a direct decedent from the millitary line of “DevilDogs.” She’s a snarling bite your face intimidating menace, but she will suckle anything. She had a blanket for years until it started to make tartar from bacteria. Still she will suckle anything, so I can’t keep any plush play toys, rugs, or anything cloth on the ground. If I do it becomes her blanket or suckle item. Fiercest dog I’ve ever owned, and she has that weird insecure behavior. The stench from her older blankets or toys was disguising, and her breath was foul at a young age. I figured it out 2 years ago after two teeth cleanings before 4 yrs old.
abc
March 6th, 2013
1:43 pm
Baby blanket?! Talk about arrested development.
Regarding have friends outside the relationship, I’d say that the essence of commitment to each other should be about supporting who and what the other wants to be and do, as a mutual experience. If conflict arises from those kinds of things, one or both isn’t committed to the other, from my point of view.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:44 pm
ITL!!!! Yay!!! You’re here!!! I’ve missed you. You know I can help you find a car and do a loan (if you need one)!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:44 pm
Listerine Pocket Packs. Get plenty and keep ‘em in the nightstand. That way during those things-that-go-bump in the night or early morning sessions you have a quick supply of breath fresheners at arm’s reach. 3 strips each…
Getting out of my warm bed and walking onto a cold tile bathroom floor to brush or get mouthwash at 3am has been known to kill the mood quickly for me. LOL
Listerine PocketPaks at a store near you.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:47 pm
Heeey, Bluz! I’m already pre-approved at my CU, but I might take you up on the car locator thing. Car shopping is not fun. And trying to test drive with this dang boot on is a pain. Hmph!
Raqi, you have me cracking up today.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:49 pm
Button – you sure can pick the letters to post here! LOL!
I can understand keeping a baby blanket, but to suck on it in the middle of the night? That’s a little odd. Yuck! I wouldn’t want to kiss him either. I’d have to force the issue and tell him that I’m washing it or it’s not staying in my bed!
abc
March 6th, 2013
1:52 pm
…and in that regard, if you feel like a friend has abandoned you due to being in another relationship, that’s their call. Your season with them is over. Reason, season and lifetime — those describe life cycles for most everything.
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
1:53 pm
Umm, I would hand-wash that piece of baby blanket. That has to smell!
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:53 pm
ITL Sorry to hear that, those space boots are comfortable
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:54 pm
ITL – I’ll email you my car guy’s info…
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
1:54 pm
Regarding have friends outside the relationship, I’d say that the essence of commitment to each other should be about supporting who and what the other wants to be and do, as a mutual experience
@abc..who knew abc wld be ok with swinging! lol
LAWD….
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:56 pm
Into the Light, we are in our mid 40’s. We (mainly me) need a whole lot more than 7 minutes to start and finish. LOL
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:57 pm
ITL, I hope that boots not on your right foot, you know you’re not supposed to be driving.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:02 pm
@bluz: Thanks!
@Stamps: It is on my right foot. But the orthopaedist said I could drive. I’m pretty sure he did.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
2:04 pm
Umm ITL I know he didn’t because it’s against the law, if anything he told you to take it off while driving.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
2:06 pm
ITL I’ve gotten 4 new vehicles site unseen, no test drive or anything (LOL)
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:07 pm
Any Syfy fans on here?
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
2:14 pm
Umm, I would hand-wash that piece of baby blanket. That has to smell!
@MrsAtl….but if u are sleeping and kissing this man everyday(in the mouf even) how smelly can it get..i mean, how different is the smell every morning.
Ordinarily,if she truly loves the guy,she wont care bout that..she shldnt even “see” the problem..
Bottom line, i dont think she luvs dude….
I see All these men and women,every day, some with hanging bellies because of being morbidly obese and im like…how do u marrry a man or woman like that?
LOVE
Button
March 6th, 2013
2:15 pm
Letter 86——-I’m dating a wonderful man whom I love very much. Our relationship is loving, fun, comfortable, and full of trust, and we’ve started discussing marriage. I was very happy in the relationship until about six months ago, when we befriended another couple, Jen and Mark. Like us, they are in their late 20s and have been together for four years or so. But their relationship is like a fairytale romance. They gaze adoringly into each other’s eyes and it’s as if no one else in the world exists. From what Jen’s told me, their chex life is incredible. They finish each other’s sentences. The connection between them is almost tangible. I’ve never seen a couple like them … it’s like something out of a movie. I love my boyfriend immensely, but when I’m around Jen and Mark, our relationship seems inadequate by comparison. Should I endure the pain of breaking up with my boyfriend in order to seek out my own Prince Charming, or learn to appriciate what I already have?
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:18 pm
“When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t have to impress each other, do you still enjoy being around them?”
Yes. You enjoy the things about them that you enjoyed or liked while you were dating. If you have dated longer than six months you are well pass the impressing stage.
“Would you have something in common besides sex?”
You will if your dating stage was based on more than just sex.
“How does a couple manage to make their lover their friend?”
I don’t know but I do know how to make my friend my lover. Spend time together. Laugh. Share secrets.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:19 pm
I wouldn’t want to hand wash that blanket. Throw it in the machine with clorox.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
2:22 pm
Letter 68, the mistake is comparing your relationship to someone else s!! nuff said!!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:25 pm
“our relationship seems inadequate by comparison”
Worst statement ever. She will never be happy because she will always be looking at the next couple trying to be what they are. The recipe for a lifetime of failures. Doomed.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
2:25 pm
button where do you get these letters
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
2:28 pm
Raqi you know the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:29 pm
Single and Happy, I agree. Just because a couple is feely touchy does not mean they love each other more than anyone else. People express love differently. If she likes sappy then yeah get with a likeminded individual. But to be in a place where everything is fine until you see someone doing it differently and you turn on a dime because of that? Disasters.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:29 pm
@stamps: Shhhhh…..it’ll be our little secret.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
2:33 pm
Letter 86 – You will never be happy if you are constantly comparing your relationship to another. Also…just because they seem perfect on the outside, doesn’t mean they are perfect behind closed doors. People thought the Ex and I were the perfect couple because we acted like the perfect couple in public. We were far from it…
daddy swiss
March 6th, 2013
2:34 pm
That’s gotta be a joke, right? (The baby-blanket sucker)
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:34 pm
Should I endure the pain of breaking up with my boyfriend in order to seek out my own Prince Charming, or learn to appriciate what I already have? – This letter is dumber than the first one.
Break up your relationship because it’s not on the scale of another’s couples???
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:35 pm
As the Infamous SexyCool would say, How do know its even grass that you are admiring? Oh something like she would say.
I am a believer of while it okay to admire, you must count up the cost to see if you can deal with or afford what’s it takes to maintain.
Prime example…literally talking grass…one of neighbors has beautiful lawn year round. Beautiful. But they pay $$$$ to maintain that grass they have chosen to have planted. While it’s nice to look at it, it’s not what we want to pay for a lawn.
Same thing applies to ‘lationships. While you are admiring dude over there with his runway model arm piece, what price is he paying to have and keep her?
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:35 pm
Heeeeeeey,
Big DaddySwiss!!!!! Long time, no read.Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:35 pm
I see everyone is saying the same thing.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:36 pm
co-sign Leggs’ 2:34.
daddy swiss
March 6th, 2013
2:37 pm
Howdy, ITL! Yeah, The Man — and, of course, the little SwissMochette — have both be keeping me super busy lately…
Letter 86 — My advice: Kill yo’self.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
2:38 pm
It is COO COO FOR COCOCA PUFFS cold, outside…brrrrrrggh!!! Lunch was delish though
The letters are fake…lol
I wish I would date a grown man sucking a blanket, let alone wash it, not to mention HAND washing it
Naw, Imma take on pass on that whole relationship what should I do thingy…lololol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:39 pm
And sappy love for me means enduring having someone all up in your personal space All. The. Time.
I am okay with you loving me from the other end of the couch. You go right ahead and watch the game over there and Imma sit over here and read my book or magazine. I know you love me. LOL
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:43 pm
LOL@Swiss!
It is COO COO FOR COCOCA PUFFS cold, outside…brrrrrrggh!!! ….and windy!! I had to wear pants today, because yesterday I had a Marilyn moment in my skirt.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:44 pm
“It is COO COO FOR COCOCA PUFFS cold, outside…brrrrrrggh!!!”
Ain’t though. LOL You should have seen me running back to the house with not sweater or jacket from getting the mail.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:45 pm
Into The Light, you are woman?
I guess I have not read enough of your comments because I thought you were a man. LOL Sorry.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:45 pm
I am okay with you loving me from the other end of the couch. You go right ahead and watch the game over there and Imma sit over here and read my book or magazine. I know you love me.
Worth repeating…..
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
2:45 pm
Raqi – Giiiiiirl, it ain’t no joke. It’s colder than a mug out there….
It’s COO COO FOR COCOA PUFFS cold!!! Usually when I get “curb service” for lunch, I run out and jump in the car. Not today. Not only did I wear my big coat downstairs, I put my hood on…brrrgh!!!
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
2:46 pm
Cel,…how bout a farting men…
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:47 pm
@Raqi: No worries.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
2:47 pm
Mmeello – You are retarded…lololol That’ll work, cause I do it too. I hope everyone alive does. At least you better. Getting backed up can be deadly.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:49 pm
@Ex: As long as he doesn’t try to dutch oven me…..
HST
March 6th, 2013
2:49 pm
I went for paper towels at Costco, and I agree it’s cold to me as well – that wind su(ks.
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
2:49 pm
I said hand-wash because it might fall apart in the washing machine. That’s a compromise.
Letter 86- You do not compare your relationship to anyone else’s. You and your partner have to build a relationship that works for you two. You have no idea what the other couple has been through or what goes on behind their closed doors.
The grass may look greener on the other side, but 1) it may be True Green Chemlawn (Aka spray painted) or 2) it may look greener because it is fertilized with B.S.
Simply put, as long as you base your happiness on what someone else has you will never be happy. Appreciate what you have. And btw- if you are breaking up with him because yur friends make googly eyes at each other then I doubt you “love him immensely.”
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
2:50 pm
I’m sooooo over this cold. I’m ready for spring
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
2:52 pm
I know one thing. If it doesn’t warm up, some dealership will be selling a car with heated seats.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
2:53 pm
“I hope everyone alive does”
Ain’t that the truth? Folks tinkle me talking in a way that the perfect significant other must be free of all normal body functions and unfavorables.
Stupid Man: Man I had to stop dating her because she burped after drinking that diet coke.
Stupid Woman: Girl I had to leave him alone because he was all sweaty and smelly after cutting the acre of grass in my yard.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:55 pm
That’s no compromise, I don’t think I want to put anyone’s built up, hardened saliva in a sink and wash it by hand. I know there are gloves, but my hands would still be in spit water. I can do this for a baby, someone sick, but not an able bodied person. The dynamics are different that will help me cope with such a nasty task.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:56 pm
And whether letters are fake or not, if he’s sucking on his blankee in the middle of the night, perhaps you might need to take him to a dentist and have his gums checked.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
2:57 pm
I will say, I use restraint. I don’t just “out with it”….lolololol That’s waaay too comfy for me. Him though (and all men in my experience), once “cozy” sets in, it’s out with it….any ole time, any ole place. And rarely an “excuse me.”
LOL
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
2:57 pm
Afternoon kiddo’s….how’s it hanging? Everything on my end is frozen. Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
2:58 pm
He may be teething. No adult does this, but he may be one of a kind.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:00 pm
What kind of women is she? She pooted.
That hair bump that appeared on his chin totally grossed me out.
Man can you believe her bowels move? How unladylike is that?
OH MY GOD!! He blew his nose in front of me. I.DIED.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:00 pm
If the letters are fake, then the possibility of blanket sucking man are probably slim to none…lololol
I do have a cousin though, whose son sucked/bite on frozen diapers (she would freeze them) while teething. He’s 19 and she said occasionally, she’ll find a diaper behind his bed. He denies sucking them, but she said she knows better.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:01 pm
dang y’all. just how cold is it down there? I’ve been reading all the “I’m cold” posts thinking y’all are some wusses but I figured I should at least ask how cold it is before I start name calling. lol.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
After helping me was the dishes his hands were ashy. I can’t date him no mo.
Man, I went to kiss her and her lips were chapped. She had to leave. That’s not the woman for me.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
disco – the sign across the street says it’s 37 degrees. That wouldn’t be so bad, but the wind has been crazy strong today!!! I think the wind chill is making it feel like it’s 27!
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
Disco- Not sure today, but last night the temp was @ 17 with the wind chill according to the weather on my phone. No, we aren’t complaining in 60 degree weather, lol.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
I remember when dating the 38 year old off and on (back when I was 28), he tried every trick in the book to get up in my apartment. As I’ve mentioned, I was never really “feeling” him…not like that!! I always had some excuse cause frankly I didn’t feel like “going there”, meaning the stop, nope, not happening, etc etc etc. I was good though, getting picked up, hanging out a couple of hours, spending his dime and getting dropped off….lol…sue me Anyhoo, he had bubble guts, so he said and was saying “come man, I gotta take a dump”, that in and of itself make my face twitch…lol I was like “you can’t come up.” He was sooo mad at me. Not sure if he made it home, but he didn’t call me for like a month or so…lolol
I’m funny bout that kind of stuff. I gotta be super super comfy and cool with you…to go there like that. We have to have gone there, in every form, fashion, way, place, etc etc etc. Otherwise, you need to take that home…lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
Dude, I was about to go down and her there was this single grey hair staring me in the face. I ran out of there.
Girl, when he was going down on me I saw a grey hair in his head. I told him I don’t think so grandpa. You got to go.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
Where did Court go? COURT!!!!
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:07 pm
Yeah, we gotta be besties, or well on our way, getting that comfy…
Mmello – The answer is still yes!!!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:07 pm
And it’s going to be in the 60’s come Saturday. This is killer weather.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:10 pm
@Leggs: Literally. It’s a big part of why folks are staying sick.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:11 pm
ms atl – I was just checking you know how folks can get about the weather. I rarely complain about the weather. it can be zero degrees and as long as it’s dry and I can see the concrete on the ground, I’m good.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:15 pm
Celisea, that’s kind of cold. LOL I guarantee you after leaving a thick cloud of funk in your bathroom he would not have tried to make a move on you. Moving quickly out the door is probably all he would have had on his mind.
Some things we just cannot control. I would not have liked it but I would have let him relieve himself.
I am literally LOLing at you right now though.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:18 pm
disco ~ you can blow on me and I’m cold. It is absolutely freezing here. I even pulled out my thermal gloves this morning. If it’s zero below, please believe you will not be seeing my face outside.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:19 pm
Raqi – You know how it is when you’re “okay” with someone, as long as it stays there, at that place. But you get ubber turned off by someone that keeps pushing further? THAT’S where I was with him. He was a cool cat, but he WAS NOT coming upstairs and DEFINITELY not gonna take a dump
nuh uh…I’m laughing too as I recall this…lol
Ugggh, so wasn’t gonna happen. He was something hot with me. I was in between a real boyfriend (yeah, he was the fallback, got nothing to do, guy), but after that, I couldn’t call (for a minute) and ask “whatcha doing?” That was signal, I ain’t got no date and no money, come through.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:20 pm
raqi – a friend of mine had me cracking up telling the tale of her and dude getting all cozy on the rug in front of the fireplace. she said dude excused himself to go to the restroom a couple of times and she let it slide. at about the third time she figured he and his bubble guts needed to be alone. she packed it up and headed home.
I also have a guy friend who works in sales where he has to visit people’s homes. he said that urge came down on him while he was in someone’s house. he said he contemplated his odds of excusing himself and making it to a gas station or restaurant nearby but ultimately he had to use the customer’s restroom. he said when he came out he and the guy who lived there both ignored what had just went down. the whole while he told the story I was rolling.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:25 pm
@disco: I’m reading that story and picturing Smokey and Craig’s Dad in Next Friday.
S: Can I use your bathrooom?
CD: Number one or number two?
S: Number two
CD: Nope.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:25 pm
Anybody ever been out and it just hits you? Not like me to talk about this huh? I was in Publix. Y’all know I DO NOT USE PUBLIC RESTROOMS, as much as I can help. Well, I had to leave buggy, groceries, right there on the aisle. Talk about running…lol I was making a mad mad dash. Another time, I was asked to open up a call with a really huge client of ours, we were trying to win their retirement piece, about $300MM and it hit me. I was pretty new to this team and was given that task to get a feel of how things would flow, asked to take notes, etc etc etc. Well, I couldn’t hang up cause that would have disconnected everyone. I couldn’t just put my headset down, cause I needed to take notes. What to do, what to do???
At some point, I dropped EVERYTHNG and started running…lololol
Whew buddy, yes yes, we are all human
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:27 pm
If anyone in a relationship gets queasy with aging or bodily functions – they should be an Ace.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:28 pm
When it gets that bad, not healthy to hold it in. I speak from experience. When you gotta go, you need to go.
Button
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Celisea – fake or not, which I have to smh while reading some of the letters, it’s still good read.
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Since you all are talking about bathroom matters, I’m sooo glad we are beyond that awkwardness when you’re dating and you need to take a dump but you aren’t ready for him to know yo ass smell that bad yet. WHEW! Now if I go upstairs and take my phone he’ll be like, “going to take a dump huh?” Sometimes he’ll even come by the door and spray air freshner under the door, trying to be funny…taunting me talking bout, “Damnnnnn, your stomach must be hurting BAD” lol
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Celisea, it’s hard to believe a grown man would use such a ruse or even say such a thing as an excuse. I mean I believe you, but I can’t quit shaking my head. What some of you women say out here about men absolutely floors me.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:30 pm
Celisea and Disco, I am just sitting thinking about those shameful first that get thru in new relationships. LOL
First – Escaping burp while kissing.
First – Breaking of wind while getting busy.
First – Shameful bathroom usage.
Lawd, to finally get comfortable around someone makes life so much better. That’s not saying you should not excuse yourself to let on rip, however it’s less embarrassing when one gets away from you mistakingly. LOL
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:31 pm
HST – I know, right? lol Like I said, not sure if he was faking, cause I didn’t hear no rumbling and really at that point, you’re letting them out and they are atomic…I didn’t get wind of that either (pun intended). I was digging my heels saying “uh uh.”…lololol
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:31 pm
H S T ~ I can easily see a man using bubble guts as a ruse to come in….absolutely!
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:32 pm
Raqi – Yep, yep and yep…lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:32 pm
“I dropped EVERYTHNG and started running”
LOL Hilarious.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:35 pm
SlimNu, that sounds like my GF and I. My latest joke on her was to spray scent under the door, because she refused to. I had no reason to spray, she wasn’t pooping a dead raccoon, I was just harassing her – we always have jokes.
She got me today with cinnamon in the bottom of my coffee cup before I poured – I payed no attention when I was pouring – I wanted to gag.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:36 pm
HST, see that’s what I am thinking. That excuse would have been believable. That’s just to shameful to make up. LOL
Feeling the way Celisea felt I would have probably waited by the front door for him to come out giving him reason to try to hang around afterwards.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:37 pm
C – my son said once in class they were doing something or other. whatever it was it was quiet. he said some guys stomach made a loud gurgling sound and dude popped up out of his chair and hit the door. naturally you know high schoolers had a field day with that one.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:38 pm
Ladies, no way would or could I ever say that. If it was that bad, I would’ve stopped somewhere before I dropped her off. Just wow.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:38 pm
Raqi ~ I’m picturing you standing there with your arms folded and clothespin on your nose shooing him to the front door as soon as the bathroom door swings open.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:40 pm
I didn’t “like” him like that, and I definitely didn’t want him to funk up my spot. I’on like you and I definitely don’t have a tolerance for smelling you…ugggh Dudes carry that extra stank and something terrible.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:40 pm
HST ~ don’t be surprised. There are many tricks and actions one uses to get through the front door. Most times the women know and will look at you with pathetic eyes (even though it’s a look we’ve masked very well).
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:41 pm
He could have had the bubble guts, but what if he hadn’t. Who wants to go through the chiding and slapping hands away. Go, leave (lolol).
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:41 pm
I was moving once and one of the movers I hired asked if he could use the restroom. boy did he stink up the joint. I was glad it was at the place I was leaving and not the place I was moving to.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:42 pm
disco – Ewwwwwwwwwww, yeah you might as well ask the floor to open up and swallow you if it’s something around and amongst teenagers.
HST – We had dinner and he seemed fine before. Like I said, not sure it “hit” him and just came down on him, cause I’ve been there before, but I’m sure if he didn’t “make it”, he was able to take a good bath once he got home.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:42 pm
Disco, funny how stuff in HS is so serious and trivial – teenagers…
OH MY, to some of the latest comments. The last thing I would ever use to get into a woman’s house is I need to poop.
Celisea, you’re killing me…sh#t is too funny…pun intended!
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:43 pm
HST – Awww, you just gave me an idea so i’m going to have to use that one. lolol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Leggs, that would have just been the price for Celisea to pay for freely entertaining and eating on the man’s dime knowing she wasn’t feeling him. No?
Right Celisea?
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Poopy Bath…super gross.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Leggs – He could have had the bubble guts, but what if he hadn’t. Who wants to go through the chiding and slapping hands away. Go, leave (lolol).
Exactly. That just makes the “lik-o-meter” plummet.
Button
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Raqi – lol @ my first breaking wind but not while getting busy but while going to sleep. I was so embarrassed but he just grabbed the air freshner sprayed the room got back in bed kissed me on my lips and went back to sleep.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:47 pm
” the “lik-o-meter” plummet” never to be resuscitated.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:48 pm
LOL Button. I remember the first wind breakage with the hub when we were dating because he made me laugh afterwards. It slipped but he quickly said to excuse him like he did it. It was his attempt to help me not be embarrassed.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:48 pm
Raqi – I always made it crystal clear with this dude, we’re eating and enjoying the scenery and convo. No commitments, no IOUs, just a nice evening out. He was the one that thought, “oh you’ll give in.” Dudes do it all the time. Plus, I was younger. I wouldn’t date anyone now, I’m not feeling. Not going to waste their time and more importantly, my time.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:50 pm
People usually spend money, because they want to; and it certainly wouldn’t be your fault for letting him. I have grown buddies who do the whole pay for the young girl thing. Everyone of them says it’s cheaper than a wife. They get new ones all the time…it’s weird. I think they have problems; however, to each their own. Personally, I couldn’t imagine being seen with a girl half my age.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:50 pm
I remember my ex and I were looking for a gym to join. The instructor was seeing where are strengths were when while my ex was doing push ups he let loose such a loud one we all could only laugh.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:53 pm
I do think it’s good to break the ice. The only fallout from that is that folks get waaay to comfy. I mean, I understand bodily functions, but you can’t just get all nasty with it.
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:53 pm
I know a guy that got soooo drunk he ended up getting up to take a dump in the middle of the night. I’m not sure if he didn’t quite finish or if he just didn’t make it to th bathroom but he had sh!tted all over the floor and on his feet. Ewwwwwwww
I can tell you one thing, sitting in traffic when you need to go REALLY bad is just not fun at all. I know one time I had to do some serious praying to make it to the next exit before I shar ted all over myself lol
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:53 pm
leggs – I keep waiting to hear one in yoga class. they know they shouldn’t be contorting folks all like that. lol.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:54 pm
Reason #: 18276 to Marry your Best Friend. Embarrassing body functions. The comfort make situations less embarrassing.
Not to get too vulgar but experiencing a queef! Never even heard of them and having no idea it was happening. Talk about embarrassing. I had to look that thing up after quickly after getting to a computer.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:57 pm
Leggs, when I used to frequent the gym you could hear near and distant farts all the time. Folks be stretching and bending…LOL
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:59 pm
Cel – I think when the fart is out of the bag, wth a guy, that’s like opening up pandora’s box. You just cannot go back to when they tried to at least do it on the sly. Once that cat is out of the bag, they think its funny to sit next to you and let a loud one rip, or do it under the covers and throw the sheets over your head.
HST
March 6th, 2013
4:00 pm
I do yoga several times a week. The women are so beautiful, and I’m the only guy. I press on my stomach before I go. I make sure I’m not farting in there, I’d be so embarrassed.
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
4:01 pm
Speaking of marrying your best friend, my cousin called me today at lunch and said she got proposed to over the weekend. It’s a guy she went to high school with but they never ever dated, slept together or anything of that sort. Some kind of way they reconnected, as friends and it snowballed into more…they go away to the cabins for a trip and BAM he pops the question. I’m so happy for her
HST
March 6th, 2013
4:02 pm
Been with my LTR for 13 years…she still farts privately. Only in her sleep have I heard the faintest of farts. She denies even those…
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
4:02 pm
Slim – Yep, that’s usually how it goes. It’s a joke at that point to bring up “being mindful of not being nasty.” I just try to keep with a bit of decorum.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
4:04 pm
His embarrassing moment…
He hadn’t eaten all day so he stopped to get food on the way to my place. He ate an entire rotisserie chicken. Not long after he shows up things start to get heated fairly quickly. We going at it, him doing some of his finest stroking when he came to an abrupt stop, grabbed his stomach. The change of expression of his face….
Yall should have seen me trying to get from under him. I was like you better not throw up on me. LOL Having he had a talk with the porcelain throne he told me afterwards that he scoffed down an entire chicken on the way to my house.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
4:04 pm
Since I leave early on Mondays and Wednesday, I’m going to leave the EOD @4:30!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
4:06 pm
“I think when the fart is out of the bag, wth a guy, that’s like opening up pandora’s box.”
SlimNu, Yep because for them that’s like the grossest thing that we can ever do in front of them. Once that barrier has been broken it’s all good after that. LOL
HST
March 6th, 2013
4:07 pm
My buddy just got married to a GF from HS. They made a pact that if he hadn’t married or her by the time she turned 40 they would tie the not. They married a few years ago, and seem great. I had known him for a decade, and one day he goes meet my arranged marriage. I was like whaaaaaaaattttttt? You’re an American and Black…WTH?
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
4:07 pm
You guys are cracking me up!!LOL!!!
HST
March 6th, 2013
4:08 pm
Gotta go guys and gals, have a great evening.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
4:08 pm
He ate an entire rotisserie chicken. – WOW, that’s right up there with this guy I know that fried 6 porkchops and ate every last one of them.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
4:09 pm
“I just try to keep with a bit of decorum”
Celisea, yep. For a long time when we were dating I would go into his guest bedroom. As to not have the remnant of my function lingering in his bathroom if and when he went to use it.
Him at my place. It didn’t matter to him. He used the closest bathroom he was near.
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
4:11 pm
This happened recently…just got back from eating dinner the other night and we’re chillin on the couch looking for something to watch on tv. I’ve secretly let out a silent but deadly one and when the deadly cloud hit my nose I started laughing to myself. He asks me what’s so funny, and I say nothing. He then laughs to himself and I assume it was something he saw on the computer. Well basically we BOTH let out silent but deadly’s at the same time and didn’t tell the other person. So All the while we’re laughing at the potential reaction the other will have when it hits their nose, we didn’t realize we’d both released the kraken. We both started cracking up when he came clean then I was like, well I did tooo!!! I was sitting there like I KNOW he has to smell that.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
4:11 pm
Leggs, yes. He said he was starving. No breakfast or lunch and he just devoured that bird.
He paid for later though. LOL
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
4:11 pm
Raqi – LOL…that’s usually how it goes. Us, we’re making sure we keep etiquette. Them? Nasty jokers, makes them no nevermind…..lololol
disco
March 6th, 2013
4:11 pm
leggs – while 6 pork chops sounds bad (okay fine, it is bad) I can see how a grown man can knock that out easy. heck, thin cut chops aren’t that big plus put some hot sauce on it and it tastes so good. I’ve scarfed down 2-3 in a sitting myself. I figure if I can do that, a grown man or a teenage boy should be able to do 6 easy.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
4:12 pm
Any newbies lurking this afternoon may not come back with this conversation! LOL
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
4:13 pm
Eight pages!!!
Have a good evening folks!!
kimmie
March 6th, 2013
4:16 pm
Dang, now yall got me wanting some fried pork chops!!! I might have to hit Kroger on the way home!!
Roger
March 6th, 2013
4:24 pm
“Can you marry your best friend?”
Ewwwww I am not gay, my D is going no where near an A gross.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
4:26 pm
Hey ya’ll, sprinkle some Italian Seasoning on your pork chops. Good flavoring.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
4:26 pm
MMMMMM….. pork chops. Now I’m craving them!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
4:26 pm
The Italian seasoning you use in spaghetti (not the dressing). Just thought I clarify that.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
4:27 pm
The eyes are never full if your heart is not right! – Anonymous
Nite!
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
4:28 pm
@Slim: Yeah, your 3:59 is what I refer to as the dutch oven. I had an ex do that to me one night after Taco Bell. I was fighting like a wildcat to get my head out from under those covers!
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
4:30 pm
Slim – Your 4:11 had me literally laughing out loud!!!
I’m going to a friend’s house for chili tonight and now I’m scared of how tomorrow will be! Glad I don’t have a date lined up!
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
4:31 pm
When I dated Psycho in Seattle, he got really angry at me for letting out a burp. I was like…dude, really? Not like I forced it out. I have asthma and take in more air than most people, so it has to come out someway!
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
4:32 pm
Night, Leggs!
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
4:47 pm
…..and cue the crickets……
Button
March 6th, 2013
4:49 pm
while flatuance is a naturel bodily funciton, beano does help! I keep me a pack in my pocket book, when I can remember to take the darn thing! I still get tickled when I or someone else break a wind! don’t know why but it is the funniest thing. We act so surprisedhen someone fart!
Button
March 6th, 2013
4:51 pm
Bluzgirl- he sounds like a guest at the Bates motel! good riddence!
Button
March 6th, 2013
4:51 pm
Bluzgirl – better yet the owner of the Bates motel. lol
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
4:53 pm
Button – you have no idea!!!! Definitely good riddence to him!
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
5:00 pm
Good night to anyone still here!!!
Maya M Wilson
March 6th, 2013
6:50 pm
sounds like a plan..not for me..but sounds lovely for someone else