Can you marry your best friend?
Whenever I come across a couple who seem to not only love each other, but like each other, I pay attention. There is something about a couple who are friends and lovers. I don’t know, call me romantic, but these are the couples seem to have a deeper, richer, and more loving connection.
Granted, I don’t really know what goes on in their private lives. Surely they go through the rough patches and manage to weather the storm. I think it helps a lot when you are truly friends. Is it possible to have the love of your life also be your best friend? I think it is! That is the kind of connection I want to have with my future husband.
We usually debate whether or not men and women can be friends. I want to know what you think about your lover becoming your best friend?
Do you consider your significant other your best friend? Do you think there is a deeper connection when there is a genuine friendship in your romantic relationships?
When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t have to impress each other, do you still enjoy being around them? Would you have something in common besides sex?
How does a couple manage to make their lover their friend? Do you start off as friends first?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
390 comments Add your comment
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:00 pm
If the letters are fake, then the possibility of blanket sucking man are probably slim to none…lololol
I do have a cousin though, whose son sucked/bite on frozen diapers (she would freeze them) while teething. He’s 19 and she said occasionally, she’ll find a diaper behind his bed. He denies sucking them, but she said she knows better.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:01 pm
dang y’all. just how cold is it down there? I’ve been reading all the “I’m cold” posts thinking y’all are some wusses but I figured I should at least ask how cold it is before I start name calling. lol.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
After helping me was the dishes his hands were ashy. I can’t date him no mo.
Man, I went to kiss her and her lips were chapped. She had to leave. That’s not the woman for me.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
disco – the sign across the street says it’s 37 degrees. That wouldn’t be so bad, but the wind has been crazy strong today!!! I think the wind chill is making it feel like it’s 27!
MsAtl
March 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
Disco- Not sure today, but last night the temp was @ 17 with the wind chill according to the weather on my phone. No, we aren’t complaining in 60 degree weather, lol.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
I remember when dating the 38 year old off and on (back when I was 28), he tried every trick in the book to get up in my apartment. As I’ve mentioned, I was never really “feeling” him…not like that!! I always had some excuse cause frankly I didn’t feel like “going there”, meaning the stop, nope, not happening, etc etc etc. I was good though, getting picked up, hanging out a couple of hours, spending his dime and getting dropped off….lol…sue me Anyhoo, he had bubble guts, so he said and was saying “come man, I gotta take a dump”, that in and of itself make my face twitch…lol I was like “you can’t come up.” He was sooo mad at me. Not sure if he made it home, but he didn’t call me for like a month or so…lolol
I’m funny bout that kind of stuff. I gotta be super super comfy and cool with you…to go there like that. We have to have gone there, in every form, fashion, way, place, etc etc etc. Otherwise, you need to take that home…lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
Dude, I was about to go down and her there was this single grey hair staring me in the face. I ran out of there.
Girl, when he was going down on me I saw a grey hair in his head. I told him I don’t think so grandpa. You got to go.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
Where did Court go? COURT!!!!
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:07 pm
Yeah, we gotta be besties, or well on our way, getting that comfy…
Mmello – The answer is still yes!!!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:07 pm
And it’s going to be in the 60’s come Saturday. This is killer weather.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:10 pm
@Leggs: Literally. It’s a big part of why folks are staying sick.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:11 pm
ms atl – I was just checking you know how folks can get about the weather. I rarely complain about the weather. it can be zero degrees and as long as it’s dry and I can see the concrete on the ground, I’m good.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:15 pm
Celisea, that’s kind of cold. LOL I guarantee you after leaving a thick cloud of funk in your bathroom he would not have tried to make a move on you. Moving quickly out the door is probably all he would have had on his mind.
Some things we just cannot control. I would not have liked it but I would have let him relieve himself.
I am literally LOLing at you right now though.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:18 pm
disco ~ you can blow on me and I’m cold. It is absolutely freezing here. I even pulled out my thermal gloves this morning. If it’s zero below, please believe you will not be seeing my face outside.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:19 pm
Raqi – You know how it is when you’re “okay” with someone, as long as it stays there, at that place. But you get ubber turned off by someone that keeps pushing further? THAT’S where I was with him. He was a cool cat, but he WAS NOT coming upstairs and DEFINITELY not gonna take a dump
nuh uh…I’m laughing too as I recall this…lol
Ugggh, so wasn’t gonna happen. He was something hot with me. I was in between a real boyfriend (yeah, he was the fallback, got nothing to do, guy), but after that, I couldn’t call (for a minute) and ask “whatcha doing?” That was signal, I ain’t got no date and no money, come through.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:20 pm
raqi – a friend of mine had me cracking up telling the tale of her and dude getting all cozy on the rug in front of the fireplace. she said dude excused himself to go to the restroom a couple of times and she let it slide. at about the third time she figured he and his bubble guts needed to be alone. she packed it up and headed home.
I also have a guy friend who works in sales where he has to visit people’s homes. he said that urge came down on him while he was in someone’s house. he said he contemplated his odds of excusing himself and making it to a gas station or restaurant nearby but ultimately he had to use the customer’s restroom. he said when he came out he and the guy who lived there both ignored what had just went down. the whole while he told the story I was rolling.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
3:25 pm
@disco: I’m reading that story and picturing Smokey and Craig’s Dad in Next Friday.
S: Can I use your bathrooom?
CD: Number one or number two?
S: Number two
CD: Nope.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:25 pm
Anybody ever been out and it just hits you? Not like me to talk about this huh? I was in Publix. Y’all know I DO NOT USE PUBLIC RESTROOMS, as much as I can help. Well, I had to leave buggy, groceries, right there on the aisle. Talk about running…lol I was making a mad mad dash. Another time, I was asked to open up a call with a really huge client of ours, we were trying to win their retirement piece, about $300MM and it hit me. I was pretty new to this team and was given that task to get a feel of how things would flow, asked to take notes, etc etc etc. Well, I couldn’t hang up cause that would have disconnected everyone. I couldn’t just put my headset down, cause I needed to take notes. What to do, what to do???
At some point, I dropped EVERYTHNG and started running…lololol
Whew buddy, yes yes, we are all human
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:27 pm
If anyone in a relationship gets queasy with aging or bodily functions – they should be an Ace.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:28 pm
When it gets that bad, not healthy to hold it in. I speak from experience. When you gotta go, you need to go.
Button
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Celisea – fake or not, which I have to smh while reading some of the letters, it’s still good read.
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Since you all are talking about bathroom matters, I’m sooo glad we are beyond that awkwardness when you’re dating and you need to take a dump but you aren’t ready for him to know yo ass smell that bad yet. WHEW! Now if I go upstairs and take my phone he’ll be like, “going to take a dump huh?” Sometimes he’ll even come by the door and spray air freshner under the door, trying to be funny…taunting me talking bout, “Damnnnnn, your stomach must be hurting BAD” lol
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:29 pm
Celisea, it’s hard to believe a grown man would use such a ruse or even say such a thing as an excuse. I mean I believe you, but I can’t quit shaking my head. What some of you women say out here about men absolutely floors me.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:30 pm
Celisea and Disco, I am just sitting thinking about those shameful first that get thru in new relationships. LOL
First – Escaping burp while kissing.
First – Breaking of wind while getting busy.
First – Shameful bathroom usage.
Lawd, to finally get comfortable around someone makes life so much better. That’s not saying you should not excuse yourself to let on rip, however it’s less embarrassing when one gets away from you mistakingly. LOL
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:31 pm
HST – I know, right? lol Like I said, not sure if he was faking, cause I didn’t hear no rumbling and really at that point, you’re letting them out and they are atomic…I didn’t get wind of that either (pun intended). I was digging my heels saying “uh uh.”…lololol
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:31 pm
H S T ~ I can easily see a man using bubble guts as a ruse to come in….absolutely!
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:32 pm
Raqi – Yep, yep and yep…lol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:32 pm
“I dropped EVERYTHNG and started running”
LOL Hilarious.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:35 pm
SlimNu, that sounds like my GF and I. My latest joke on her was to spray scent under the door, because she refused to. I had no reason to spray, she wasn’t pooping a dead raccoon, I was just harassing her – we always have jokes.
She got me today with cinnamon in the bottom of my coffee cup before I poured – I payed no attention when I was pouring – I wanted to gag.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:36 pm
HST, see that’s what I am thinking. That excuse would have been believable. That’s just to shameful to make up. LOL
Feeling the way Celisea felt I would have probably waited by the front door for him to come out giving him reason to try to hang around afterwards.
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:37 pm
C – my son said once in class they were doing something or other. whatever it was it was quiet. he said some guys stomach made a loud gurgling sound and dude popped up out of his chair and hit the door. naturally you know high schoolers had a field day with that one.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:38 pm
Ladies, no way would or could I ever say that. If it was that bad, I would’ve stopped somewhere before I dropped her off. Just wow.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:38 pm
Raqi ~ I’m picturing you standing there with your arms folded and clothespin on your nose shooing him to the front door as soon as the bathroom door swings open.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:40 pm
I didn’t “like” him like that, and I definitely didn’t want him to funk up my spot. I’on like you and I definitely don’t have a tolerance for smelling you…ugggh Dudes carry that extra stank and something terrible.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:40 pm
HST ~ don’t be surprised. There are many tricks and actions one uses to get through the front door. Most times the women know and will look at you with pathetic eyes (even though it’s a look we’ve masked very well).
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:41 pm
He could have had the bubble guts, but what if he hadn’t. Who wants to go through the chiding and slapping hands away. Go, leave (lolol).
disco
March 6th, 2013
3:41 pm
I was moving once and one of the movers I hired asked if he could use the restroom. boy did he stink up the joint. I was glad it was at the place I was leaving and not the place I was moving to.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:42 pm
disco – Ewwwwwwwwwww, yeah you might as well ask the floor to open up and swallow you if it’s something around and amongst teenagers.
HST – We had dinner and he seemed fine before. Like I said, not sure it “hit” him and just came down on him, cause I’ve been there before, but I’m sure if he didn’t “make it”, he was able to take a good bath once he got home.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:42 pm
Disco, funny how stuff in HS is so serious and trivial – teenagers…
OH MY, to some of the latest comments. The last thing I would ever use to get into a woman’s house is I need to poop.
Celisea, you’re killing me…sh#t is too funny…pun intended!
SlimNu
March 6th, 2013
3:43 pm
HST – Awww, you just gave me an idea so i’m going to have to use that one. lolol
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Leggs, that would have just been the price for Celisea to pay for freely entertaining and eating on the man’s dime knowing she wasn’t feeling him. No?
Right Celisea?
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Poopy Bath…super gross.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Leggs – He could have had the bubble guts, but what if he hadn’t. Who wants to go through the chiding and slapping hands away. Go, leave (lolol).
Exactly. That just makes the “lik-o-meter” plummet.
Button
March 6th, 2013
3:44 pm
Raqi – lol @ my first breaking wind but not while getting busy but while going to sleep. I was so embarrassed but he just grabbed the air freshner sprayed the room got back in bed kissed me on my lips and went back to sleep.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:47 pm
” the “lik-o-meter” plummet” never to be resuscitated.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
3:48 pm
LOL Button. I remember the first wind breakage with the hub when we were dating because he made me laugh afterwards. It slipped but he quickly said to excuse him like he did it. It was his attempt to help me not be embarrassed.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:48 pm
Raqi – I always made it crystal clear with this dude, we’re eating and enjoying the scenery and convo. No commitments, no IOUs, just a nice evening out. He was the one that thought, “oh you’ll give in.” Dudes do it all the time. Plus, I was younger. I wouldn’t date anyone now, I’m not feeling. Not going to waste their time and more importantly, my time.
HST
March 6th, 2013
3:50 pm
People usually spend money, because they want to; and it certainly wouldn’t be your fault for letting him. I have grown buddies who do the whole pay for the young girl thing. Everyone of them says it’s cheaper than a wife. They get new ones all the time…it’s weird. I think they have problems; however, to each their own. Personally, I couldn’t imagine being seen with a girl half my age.
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
3:50 pm
I remember my ex and I were looking for a gym to join. The instructor was seeing where are strengths were when while my ex was doing push ups he let loose such a loud one we all could only laugh.
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
3:53 pm
I do think it’s good to break the ice. The only fallout from that is that folks get waaay to comfy. I mean, I understand bodily functions, but you can’t just get all nasty with it.