Can you marry your best friend?
Whenever I come across a couple who seem to not only love each other, but like each other, I pay attention. There is something about a couple who are friends and lovers. I don’t know, call me romantic, but these are the couples seem to have a deeper, richer, and more loving connection.
Granted, I don’t really know what goes on in their private lives. Surely they go through the rough patches and manage to weather the storm. I think it helps a lot when you are truly friends. Is it possible to have the love of your life also be your best friend? I think it is! That is the kind of connection I want to have with my future husband.
We usually debate whether or not men and women can be friends. I want to know what you think about your lover becoming your best friend?
Do you consider your significant other your best friend? Do you think there is a deeper connection when there is a genuine friendship in your romantic relationships?
When you go beyond the dating stage and don’t have to impress each other, do you still enjoy being around them? Would you have something in common besides sex?
How does a couple manage to make their lover their friend? Do you start off as friends first?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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390 comments Add your comment
Celisea
March 6th, 2013
12:42 pm
Leggs – Exactly. I’m there with you, I agree. Hopefully, my kid will get a hankering and start getting behind the wheel, getting in practice. Yeah, that pretty stuff, I don’t bother her too much with that cause she’s young and hopefully will learn that substance substance substance….
They’re young folks, so some things we grant…for now
Alright, for real, I gotta run. I’m suppose to be downstairs at 12:45
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
understood Msatl
HST
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
Moreover, marriage and kids aren’t for everyone. My LTR and I have been “Happily un-married for 13 years”, and we both say that.
We were both married, and hated it. I have a teenager from my marriage. I feel like we have it all. Even my biggest Jesuit friends say don’t change a thing.
disco
March 6th, 2013
12:43 pm
kimmie – you funny. that’s what we are here for. to discuss things. if we ever come up on a topic that we all agree on wholeheartedly 100% then we need a powerball pool.
Ms J~
March 6th, 2013
12:45 pm
amazing~
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
12:52 pm
Looks like the topic may have stalled…
Button…you got another letter you can throw out here? I don’t think we were ready to discuss the other one earlier…
HST
March 6th, 2013
12:52 pm
Make your children get their learners ladies, it’s a written test, so if they don’t wanna drive immediately then fine.
I did what my Dad did. I put a brand new car in the garage when my son got his learners permit. I told him A’s or the best he can do, and good behavior etc. will make you receive that car on your 16th birthday. He’s been ultra good, especially since I put him in public school, because I felt he was to sheltered from private school.
Later on, right before my father’s death; my father told me that that’s what he did to motivate me, and how proud he was of me. I still haven’t forgot that moment, and strive everyday to be a better man than my Dad; but that has been a journey to say the least.
Still. Motivated. Today.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
12:53 pm
Bluz, did that advalorum law change this month or last year?
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:00 pm
RE: Advalorum – This month, but the last 3 months if you choose on a vehicle purchased.
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
1:01 pm
My “Luver” (Lover)should be a bad word…..its such a lame word.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:02 pm
Handing your kid the keys to venture out onto the dangerous highway alone for the first time is an unsettling feeling that you never get used to. This second was not less nerve-racking than the first. And the 3rd and 4th time will be even more intensified because I will be an old lady then. LOL
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:03 pm
S/H – The new tax went into affect on March 1st. You can opt in to it if you’ve bought a car after 1/1/12…
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
March 6th, 2013
1:04 pm
@Kimmie
That faucet comment is more truthful than people care to admit. Being married on Tuesday shouldn’t change how you all interact (or your responsibility to one another) on Monday or Wednesday.
That thought process and (lack/arguments about) money are the #1 marriage killers.
If we’re building, to marriage or some approximation of it, shouldn’t we be working on a way to bring our lives together? I mean really, you weren’t single before “I do”, “will you”, and certainly ’bout the time the thought of it popped into either head and was collectively discussed, so why act like it?
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:06 pm
Exiled, why?
Raqi, teach em’ how to drive well, send then to a real driving school, and all should be well. We’re all a statistic waiting to happen one way or another. By driving school, I mean a HPDE (high performance driving education). Your child will drive well for the rest of their lives from one of those classes.
Exiled
March 6th, 2013
1:06 pm
But sometimes I just want to be left alone so I will call a headache or an “ant flow” when she packed her bags and left a week ago.
@Raqi..I have forgiven u for those sins because u came clean..and confesses in front of the Whole world
Now,give the man sum tonite,to atone for that.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:08 pm
I recently got a new vehicle, they didn’t ask me about it.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:10 pm
S&H, then in the state’s mind you wanna pay advalorum for the rest of the vehicles life. There’s a deadline that’s about to expire on vehicles purchased before 03-01-13.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:11 pm
edit* vehicle’s life with you as the owner.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:12 pm
HST for me a lifetime has been 4 years at the most (LOL)
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:14 pm
It’s funny to me how guys are so much more loose in their thinking when it comes to theirs sons compared to their daughters.
TheMan is forever reminding “Raqi leave him alone he’s a boy. I’ll catch him before he goes too far” with the teen. Constantly.
With the babe it’s the same. Last week at church on of the little girls came up and kissed M,jr. on the cheek. Oh boy, all I got was “that’s my boy” proudly. However that very same day we were having dinner out with a couple friend and their two kids. Their son mimicking the way his dad had his arm on the back his mother’s chair did the same to our little Liz’s . What do you think TheMan said? “She is not getting married until she turns 30 and will not be allowed to date until she is 35.”
Boy…how the sentiments change with the sex of the offspring.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:16 pm
S&H, I feel ya. I just have some cars that I’d never let go of. I have 3 cars and a motorcycle registered in Ga. All my “expensive cars” are registered in Fl at my house there. I save about 5K a year doing that. Still, my tags here are 2.5k.
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:18 pm
HST, all of the has been done. I soon got over being nervous riding with him as I did with the oldest knucklehead. But as a mother, handing off those keys for them to venture out there alone…I will never get used to it.
But he has been driving alone for a while now and has made it back safely every time. LOL However I am always nervous the whole time he is gone until I hear him come back in the door.
Just being a mother I guess.
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:21 pm
Raqi, I’d probably be easier on my daughter if I had one than my son. I’d probably spoil her worse, but that isn’t to mean I’d tolerate bad behavior in any form. Saying your “daughter can’t date until 30,” in my mind means she’ll be having sex and lying about it. Pretty extreme words.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:23 pm
HST, may try to wear the tires out on this one, (haven’t got a set of tires out of need since 98)
Button
March 6th, 2013
1:25 pm
Letter #90—–My boyfriend and I have been a couple for a year, and we recently moved in together. He is a very intelligent, mature, caring, and funny man, and I feel our relationship has a great chance at “going the distance.” Since we began cohabitating I found out he has a strange habit: He keeps a remnant of his baby blanket inside his pillow case and, after he thinks I am asleep, he pulls it out and sucks on it. I discovered this while changing the sheets one morning and noticed a wet spot on his pillowcase. I tried to talk about this with him, but he became embarrassed and refuses any attempt to discuss it. The habit itself is not a deal-breaker. What is a deal-breaker is the wet blanket, which has a smell. I want to hand wash it, but I don’t want to do this without his permission. I understand the blanket might help him relieve some anxiety; it’s the hygiene issue that bothers me. I can’t wrap my head around kissing him in the morning knowing that he’s been sucking on the blanket at night. How do I raise the issue of washing the blanket? And is this a “normal” thing, or does it suggest deeper issues?
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:26 pm
S/H – when did you buy your car? Dealers were supposed to give the option between Jan 1 and March 1 this year, but I found that they didn’t. You can opt in through the DMV
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:26 pm
Raqi, that sounds normal. I worry always about my boy as well. I just trust him, and know I raised him properly. Bad choices are a part of life – we’ve all made them.
FTR, I had to scream it out with his mother for his 15th birthday present – a road legal scooter. We finally came to an agreement that a tracking device would work for him to use it. I make him wear a full-face helmet, and his detests it; but I tell him don’t mess up the money maker if ya wreck or get hit. I worry daily…
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:27 pm
And the deadline to opt in is Dec 31st, so you have plenty of time
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:28 pm
I can’t wrap my head around kissing him in the morning knowing that he’s been sucking on the blanket at night. And this is your hygiene problem, what about brushing your dang teeth (LOL)
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:28 pm
You can check out this website to see if it’s beneficial for you to opt in: http://onlinemvd.dor.ga.gov/Tap/welcome.aspx
I do car loans and we are learning all about this…
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:29 pm
Bluz, Feb 2
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:29 pm
“…has a great chance at “going the distance.” – couldn’t read any further. A great “chance?” Why move in together??
Button
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
Single – morning breath! lol
have him get up early to brush, floss and mouth wash!
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
Now, I’m sorry I even read the rest of the letter!!!!
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:30 pm
That’s a pretty big deadline Bluz, good to know. I thought it ended in April or something. Thanks for sharing that.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:32 pm
Afternoon, all.
I see we’re talking about buying cars…..I’ll be buying one soon.
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:34 pm
ITL why the sad face?
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:36 pm
@Stamps: I’m buying a new one, bc I was in a wreck and totaled my previous one.
Thankfully, everyone was okay (minus one broken foot). But hey – I look cute in a spaceboot. LOL 
Single & Happy it was hard to get back to the cold reality
March 6th, 2013
1:36 pm
Leggs, I’m a little ole fashion like that , to me going the distance is getting married not moving in together
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:38 pm
LOL Exiled. What’s there to hide? I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. However that does not keep me from stating what I know to be the truth. Telling the truth is a good disciplinary action. It keeps me mindful of the things I am supposed to be doing.
The babies are spending the day with the grand-godmother until tomorrow so we will see how things go this evening. LOL
I think there’s about 3 commercials between Survivor ending and Criminal Minds coming on. We’ll see. LOL
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:40 pm
I think there’s about 3 commercials between Survivor ending and Criminal Minds coming on. We’ll see
Leggs
March 6th, 2013
1:42 pm
Same here, Single.
Hey there, ITL.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:42 pm
Hey, Leggs!!
HST
March 6th, 2013
1:43 pm
S&H, 1:28 – agreed totally.
If that’s the worst thing your man does, a good woman can fix that.
I have the largest lean female Doberman in the AKC in the US (quite possible the world, I’ve been posting on Dobie fancier sites). She’s a direct decedent from the millitary line of “DevilDogs.” She’s a snarling bite your face intimidating menace, but she will suckle anything. She had a blanket for years until it started to make tartar from bacteria. Still she will suckle anything, so I can’t keep any plush play toys, rugs, or anything cloth on the ground. If I do it becomes her blanket or suckle item. Fiercest dog I’ve ever owned, and she has that weird insecure behavior. The stench from her older blankets or toys was disguising, and her breath was foul at a young age. I figured it out 2 years ago after two teeth cleanings before 4 yrs old.
abc
March 6th, 2013
1:43 pm
Baby blanket?! Talk about arrested development.
Regarding have friends outside the relationship, I’d say that the essence of commitment to each other should be about supporting who and what the other wants to be and do, as a mutual experience. If conflict arises from those kinds of things, one or both isn’t committed to the other, from my point of view.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:44 pm
ITL!!!! Yay!!! You’re here!!! I’ve missed you. You know I can help you find a car and do a loan (if you need one)!
Raqi
March 6th, 2013
1:44 pm
Listerine Pocket Packs. Get plenty and keep ‘em in the nightstand. That way during those things-that-go-bump in the night or early morning sessions you have a quick supply of breath fresheners at arm’s reach. 3 strips each…
Getting out of my warm bed and walking onto a cold tile bathroom floor to brush or get mouthwash at 3am has been known to kill the mood quickly for me. LOL
Listerine PocketPaks at a store near you.
Into the Light
March 6th, 2013
1:47 pm
Heeey, Bluz! I’m already pre-approved at my CU, but I might take you up on the car locator thing. Car shopping is not fun. And trying to test drive with this dang boot on is a pain. Hmph!
Raqi, you have me cracking up today.
Bluzgirl
March 6th, 2013
1:49 pm
Button – you sure can pick the letters to post here! LOL!
I can understand keeping a baby blanket, but to suck on it in the middle of the night? That’s a little odd. Yuck! I wouldn’t want to kiss him either. I’d have to force the issue and tell him that I’m washing it or it’s not staying in my bed!
abc
March 6th, 2013
1:52 pm
…and in that regard, if you feel like a friend has abandoned you due to being in another relationship, that’s their call. Your season with them is over. Reason, season and lifetime — those describe life cycles for most everything.