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Archive for March, 2013

Are men fine with shallow?

I have been told that a lot of men really don’t mind it if women are attracted to them for shallow reasons.   The reason some men work out, drive flashy cars, and sport stylish clothes is because they want to draw women to them for the most superficial things.  I guess I never thought of it in that way.  I know women like to attract men, but we generally want it to be for the “right reasons” if that makes sense.

Men, do you agree?  If you are attracting women solely because of superficial reasons, you don’t mind that at all?  If your answer is yes, is it because that kind of attraction leads to you getting laid?

Ladies have you noticed the difference in how you treat men who you are attracted to for superficial reasons and the ones you are drawn to for non-superficial reasons?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Marriage without a prenup?

Another reality tv show couple getting divorced.  I know, you’re completely shocked.  I am shocked too.  I am shocked because some reports have said that the couple has no prenuptial agreement.   I then realized that being surprised about no prenup is kind of sad.   When did having a prenup really become the norm?

A lot people with modest income and assets decide to take measures to protect themselves.  It seems that wealthy people with sizable income and a lot of assets should just make prenups a part of their normal pre-wedding traditions.

Is this a sign that we are self-preserving, selfish people who don’t expect our marriages to last?  Do you think that prenuptial agreements are part of the problem or part of the solution for our marital expectations?

Would you oppose to signing a prenuptial agreement?  What is it about prenuptial agreements that sets people on edge.  Isn’t marriage a legal transaction already?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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First date disaster?

What do you do if your first date with someone is a total disaster?  Do you think you would give it another shot?

I received an email from a guy who said that his first date did not go as well as he expected.  The woman was late and then was rude to the people serving them.  Now this is the type of thing that should probably torpedo any chance of a second date.   This guy, however, decided to overlook all of that and asked her out again.

The second date was totally opposite of the first.  The woman was on time, in a much better mood, and noticeably kinder to everyone.  He is happy he gave it another shot but he is worried about which “representative” is closer to the real version of his date.

Do you think some people just have bad days that lead to one bad date?  Would you be willing to invest in a second or third date if the first date was a disaster?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Style challenged?

I attended Atlanta Tastemaker Magazine’s B. Fab Awards this weekend.  This fabulous event showcased the city’s best fashion and beauty bloggers. It was such a fantastic event!

This event reminded me about our diverse styles here.  There are a lot of people in Atlanta that have style and grace.  So many artists, musicians, creative and tech types roaming Atlanta’s dating scene.  It got me to thinking of how I love a man who has his own unique style.

Needless to say, a man in a suit and tie turns my head.  However, I have a confession to make.  If a guy has poor taste in clothes, I judge him.  I’m not saying I totally rule someone out based on his choice of threads, but something else about him would have to make him stand out.

I suppose that is one of those shallow things that single people are guilty of focusing on in the dating scene. It has backfired on me before, though.  I met a guy at a fancy networking function.  He showed up to our first date wearing really awful and …

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Your first

Every misadventure we go through brings us closer to meeting  The One.  That’s good news, right? Even the messy break ups and God-awful dates can serve as a learning experience.  If we consider all of our experiences as lessons, we can appreciate the sum of our experiences, including the first person we fell for.

There is something sweet and nostalgic about flipping through old photos or remembering the moments that you felt loved.  Reflecting back on those moments when you felt yourself falling can even be kind of thrilling.

Do you ever randomly think of your first love?  What about your first kiss? Who from your past left the biggest impression on you?

Happy Friday!

By  Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Your first »

Do you need background info?

One of my friends had an awkward first date recently.  The guy was a “referral” from her co-worker, so he was basically a blind date set up.  The fact that he knew a boatload of personal information about her on their first date bothered her, though.

She is extremely private at work, so the co-worker was not privy to some of the things her date knew.  It turns out that the guy went on a little fact minding mission before he met her.  The co-worker only gave him her first and last name and what school she went to.

One quick (too quick?) Facebook search and he spotted a connection.  Someone he went to school with was related to my friend.  I don’t know which is creepier, the effort he put into get some background information – or the fact that he told her how much he “already discovered” about her.

Listen, I am sure this guy has a perfectly good explanation for going through great lengths to screen my friend.  Perhaps he has a psycho ex.  Maybe he has had his pet rabbit boiled …

Continue reading Do you need background info? »

Dating: Condom Nonsense

I will probably never totally understand men but I won’t ever stop trying.  I just get so perplexed at male logic sometimes.  I am sure men say the same about chick logic!  I actually believe we are not that different fundamentally. We all want the same thing – to be accepted and loved.

The latest perplexing thing a man was actually something I spotted on Facebook, from a relationship expert. (Sidenote: It is hard not to write a snarky joke here but I won’t.)  He was trying to make the point that women who carry their own condoms are sending the wrong message if they want to be taken seriously.  He believes that “women of substance” should be valued and carrying a condom would make it difficult for a man to value her worth.

I have to ask – what kind of guy judges a woman who carries her own condoms?  If you are too lazy, forgetful, unwilling to carry them, are you in a position to judge a woman for having them?

Ok, before I go off on a nonsensical rant on double standards, I …

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Dating: What is your type?

When it comes to attraction in dating, is it about “I like what I like” or is there something else involved?  I ask because I wonder how we figure out what our type is and how do we know who is not our type? Is it after trial and error, dating different people and trying them on to see how they “fit”?

What is the appeal of those you feel are your type? When you get past looks, how do you decide who is compatible to you and your personality?

When one of my guy friends broke up with his long-term girlfriend, he went through his video vixen phase.  Suddenly his type became women who were “light” on personality, but heavy on booty, body, and brass.  His ex was nothing like this, so he clearly wanted a change in type to help get over her.  I am waiting to see if he returns to what he is most comfortable with or if his future Miss Right will be the vixen type.  Not really judging, just wondering, what do guys like about the type of women they pursue?

How do we figure out what our …

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Why do guys dump nice girls?

A young lady emailed me about her last break up.  After dumping her, he started dating someone rather opposite to who she was.  She ended her email with the question: Why do guys dump nice girls?

I wish I had a helpful answer to this question: Why do the nice guys/girls get overlooked.   After covering dating and relationships for so long, I can only tell you that the right ones don’t.  In other words, people go through a period of their dating career being attracted to the types who are flashy, noisy, or edgy.

I believe a lot of us outgrow this and eventually discover that the heart breakers are to there to be lessons, not lifelong mates.  Still, we are like moths to a flame when it comes to what gets our attention, aren’t we?

When do you think we stop chasing the forbidden fruit?  Does anyone want to weigh in on the young lady’s question, Why do guys dump nice girls?  Should the nice girls/guys be thankful they were spared?

Have you ever dumped the nice girl/guy?  Do you …

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Virgin Terrority: When are you ready?

Color me shocked: The decision to have sex for the very first time is  being delayed, even longer by young women in  Atlanta!  According to a recent survey, Atlanta females thought that 19 years old is the ideal time for a woman to lose her virginity. This was higher than the national average of age 17.

When you think about all the things young people are exposed to these days, I suppose this is a pleasant surprise!  It’s interesting to note the top reasons that were cited for holding on to virginity until age 19:

Connectivity (Online Dating, Social Networking, etc.) - Between online dating, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., young people are wired in and probably distracted from trying to get into each others pants every other minute.  I bet those smartphones are great gifts for teens after all!

Waiting until Marriage – I am a preacher’s daughter so this pretty much was burned in my memory from birth. Despite our divorce rates, many still believe in the institution of …

Continue reading Virgin Terrority: When are you ready? »