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Romantic comedies made us cynical?

My friend Paul said that romantic comedies, romance novels, and sexy vampires are making women become cynics. If regular men don’t chase us all over town or doing some grand romantic gesture, some women actually feel disappointed.

I argued that no smart woman is walking around trying to be Nina Moseley to someone’s Darius Lovehall. There is no Katherine Heigel type women storing 27 bridesmaids dresses in her closet. We get that Hollywood love and real life love are vastly different things!

Granted, the right man, brave enough to open his heart and declare his love would probably be well-received. Do we really get disappointed if men don’t act out a love story from a movie? I just don’t think so.

If anything makes us cynical, it’s the emotional roller coaster we get stuck on trying to navigate a dating relationship. Maybe those romantic comedies serve as an escape from all of that. What do you think?

Guys, do you feel pressure to do all the crazy in love things men do in movies? Do you get the sense that the women you date create or manufacture drama, just so they can play out some twisted scene from a movie character’s life?

Happy Wednesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

166 comments Add your comment

Lee

February 27th, 2013
7:11 am

No drama here unless you lie, then that is on you. Movie character now that is funny–never heard of that one.
One major thing i am waiting for is: when a man words and actions equal the same. Not say one thing and do another.

SlimNu

February 27th, 2013
8:19 am

I surely hope folks aren’t trying to act out antics they see on tv….Almost always, the chick dips out because the dude did something crazy or betrayed her in some way….he tries to hide his hurt at first but as the music montague goes on, you can see he’s really struggling not having her around…he gets some hair brain idea or showing up at one of her favorites spots (more often times than not, it’s in a public place or at some event) and he confesses his love for her. She’s impressed by his conviction and disregard for embarrassment and they fade to black in an embrace as she looks into his eyes thinking, “What the hell took you so long”.

That is SOOOOO not real life….

MissMoni

February 27th, 2013
8:31 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!!

-Lee I totally agree in reference to waiting on when a man’s words and actions equal the same thing.

Personally, I love a good romantic comedy or just a good romantic movie period. Watched Love & Basketball last night on BET for the umpteenth time. However the older I get, my perspective changes on these romance movies. It’s nice to want what they have in the movies, but you have to be realistic and know that the movie is scripted versus your real life which is not. I so don’t want the additional drama, there’s gonna be natural drama that occurs regardless just because that’s life. . . I just want the man to be himself, because if he’s acting then that will eventually come out as well.

Button

February 27th, 2013
9:21 am

Good hump day! I remember harlequin romance novels and I can see how it can make some women cynical. Most men are not that romantic hence the high sale volumns of romance novels/movie…alas the fantasies begin and the drama begin.

SlimNu

February 27th, 2013
9:27 am

Most men are not that romantic hence the high sale volumns of romance novels/movie

Button – Seems like men would use that lack of romance to their advantage and start getting ROMANTICO lol I think for women, thoughtfulness can take you a long way. That’s an aphrodiciac in itself

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

February 27th, 2013
9:34 am

“declare his love” is the operative phrase in the whole post

That’s what gets ladies stuck, the ‘declaration’ of love. The ‘butterflies’, the ‘tingling feeling’, all the ‘emotions’ that get these ladies stuck come from these movies.

Truth is, love is all that; and like is another thing

disco

February 27th, 2013
9:44 am

good morning. I think some folks are born cynical. others may grow cynical. still I don’t see any point in blaming it on the movies. it is what it is.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
9:55 am

I don’t think I’ve ever mixed fantasy with reality. I was reared in the real world and taught very early how to separate the real from the not so real. Maybe that’s why I’m seem a bit brutal when it comes to honesty. Cause really, there’s a lot of fantisizing going on and it ain’t just with romance and it ain’t just in the movies….lololol I might even add that the “woman” in me is a romantic…yuuuup shole is, but even with that, I don’t get that mixed, twisted nor distorted.

Leggs

February 27th, 2013
9:58 am

Paul himself needs to stop paying attention to romantic comedies, novels and such.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:09 am

My friend Paul said that romantic comedies, romance novels, and sexy vampires are making women become cynics. If regular men don’t chase us all over town or doing some grand romantic gesture, some women actually feel disappointed.

Diva, I think your friend is off the mark a bit. IMO…..Most women that are truly cynical, sort of become that way as a result of all the bad (decisions) she’s encountered. Not because by comparison the dude in the real world ain’t putting it down (sex, gifts, poems, love, love, love) like the dude in the movies.

disco

February 27th, 2013
10:18 am

if I got to play out the life of a romantic comedy character I suppose I could pull off eva (deliver us from eva). that one wouldn’t be much of a stretch for me anyway. plus she and LL “burned a hole in the floor”. lol. hmm. I didn’t envy any of the chicks in the best man but if I had to pick one I suppose the stripper (candy) hit the best lick in that movie. dag. I’m drawing a blank. I can’t even think of any romantic comedies.

MsAtl

February 27th, 2013
10:25 am

Morning All!

Any cynicism I possess comes from games, lack of truthfullness, etc. on the part of men I have come into contact with (not all), not from any expectation that men will confirm to some idea of romanticism in the mind of a writer. I enjoy romantic comedies but recognize them as a form of entertainment, not real life. While it looks good on film, I can’t really picture a man on stage telling me “I’m the blues in your right thigh trying to become the funk in your right.”

Bluzgirl

February 27th, 2013
10:36 am

Morning!!!

Romance movies and novels stretch things a bit, but I still believe my Prince Charming will come one day. I don’t expect it to be like a movie or fairytale at all. I think he’ll be just the right amount of romantic. I’ve had several guy friends through my life tell me that the right man for me will put me on a pedastool (sp?) and if he doesn’t, I need to KIM. Maybe it’s time for me to listen to that!

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:41 am

I can just envision Fabio right about now…

Ripped and muscle-ee, sporting an eight pack, Adonis hair blowing in the wind, bronzed, chiseled and square jawed. Awe inspiring and just took my breath away….”uggggh, I can’t breeeeth, while looking at him”

I’m cracking up typing this….lololololol

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:42 am

“He’s my weakness,I cannot live without him”……How’s that for t.v. :mgreen:

disco

February 27th, 2013
10:43 am

bluz – I have to admit that I giggled at your spelling. pedastool. that’s funny girl. not because it’s misspelled but because I can see pedestal being one level and pedastoool being that level before you get to the pedestal level. lol.

disco

February 27th, 2013
10:44 am

celisea – really or are you joking? Fabio? what’s the draw with him? I don’t see it.

Bluzgirl

February 27th, 2013
10:44 am

LOL disco! I knew it didn’t look right, but I still don’t feel well and didn’t have the strength to look it up! HAHA

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:50 am

disco – You missed my “lols” and overall performance. I tossed out Fabio cause he used to be the face of Romance, per se. He’s played out now. Back then though, tell me you didn’t see him sketched on the cover of a softback romance novel, holding some woman in a comprising position?

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t read one or two in my lifetime, but two of my sisters were queens of romance novels/movies. I have one now that still gets carried away. So, I was recalling some of the books I saw on the bookshelves and how they’d be laid across the bed, all caught up….lololol

I ain’t gon lie though, the young dude on the diet coke commercial is banging

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:51 am

Frankly, that’s ain’t the face of sexy for me. Give me clean cut and well groomed…whether he’s hanging a suit or wearing nice jeans. He ain’t gotta be pretty, just well put together.

Bluzgirl

February 27th, 2013
10:52 am

I wouldn’t mind a Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey, though! Yummy!!!

abc

February 27th, 2013
10:54 am

If you find the right person, it really is all that. Me and sweetie are a Hallmark movie. With the right one, it’s isn’t difficult, it doesn’t really even take much, if any, extra effort. ‘Course, you have to be their right person, too. You get what you give; you attract what you are; everybody gets exactly what they deserve.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:54 am

that ain’t, not that’s aint….

Dirty Bird ( Romancing Ms. Atl

February 27th, 2013
10:54 am

Good Morning!

MsAtl…I am saying this on the MIA blog (this will have to substitute for the stage) ….“I am going to be the blues in your right thigh trying to become the funk in your right.”.
What else do you desire? (:)

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:55 am

it’s blues in your right thigh, trying to become the funk in your left (thigh)…not two right thighs….

carry on…….

disco

February 27th, 2013
10:56 am

C – saw it but even with lol’s you can’t always be sure without checking. there are a lot of so-called sex symbols that I wonder how they made the list.

bluz – I never read the books but did they have a picture of him or just a description?

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
10:57 am

“……..blues in your right thigh, tryna become the funk in your left. Alright, alriiiiight.”

Lorenz got down in that movie, Yes he did!!

disco

February 27th, 2013
10:59 am

C – if a person can have two left feet, why can’t they have two right thighs? lol.

oh and larenz is a sexy little thang to be so petite.

Dirty Bird ( The romancing of MsAtl)

February 27th, 2013
11:04 am

I can only work on one thigh at a time…. Thank you Ms. Fabio…lol

Leggs

February 27th, 2013
11:07 am

I wouldn’t mind a chiseled brother as described in Disappearing Acts (and having Wesley Snipes portray him sickened me).

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:07 am

Durty – One thigh at a time means you need to work on your skills then…lol

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:08 am

Alright, gotta get to work for now……

Leggs

February 27th, 2013
11:17 am

I agree, abc!

Leggs

February 27th, 2013
11:17 am

BTW abc, every time I see your moniker I think of 123 and have been playing it all last week. Don’t you know it fell Saturday evening, and I didn’t play it!!!!

disco

February 27th, 2013
11:18 am

leggs – that’s why I asked if there was a pic or just a description. you know you can create a character in your mind. I, too, was disappointed by Wesley getting that role. uggh. lol. also in the walter mosley books, as much as I love me some don cheadle I just don’t think cheadle fits the description of mouse. I love how he said “you won’t me to shoot this MFer easy” in devil in a blue dress. lol.

Durty Bird ( I think Celisea wants me)

February 27th, 2013
11:25 am

@Leggs what is going on with the Deklab county school board?

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 27th, 2013
11:25 am

Am I the only person that notices that the best friend/ buddy/ wing man/girl seems to be the person that has all the fun in those movies??? The stay laid, always have a pocket full of money and /or don’t give a damn about going to work……..

MsAtl

February 27th, 2013
11:26 am

Dirty- You are not up for this challenge, lol.
Disco- I am cracking up at you; I don’t get the draw of Fabio either, but I get why Celisea named him, being on all the books. We get an idea in our minds of what a character looks like and have to struggle through the movie watching someone else play it…

disco

February 27th, 2013
11:30 am

ms atl – Fabio. ewww. just when I think Fabio I think ewww. I can’t even say it’s the hair (which to me is a huge turnoff) because that brett Michaels guy doesn’t look bad and he’s got the same hair thing going on.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:31 am

Durty – Boy stop….lol Oh yes, please do!!!

Actually, Fabio ain’t exactly my idea of “romance” nor does he come to mind, if I’m really thinking “hmmmm, who what that be?” I just remember back in the what 80s, him being the cat’s meow. I would say that’s probably (and again), bored housewives. Like I said, for me…..clean cut, well groomed, mannerable, gainfully employed, etc etc etc. Y’all can keep them pretty dudes and share amongst yourselves (not y’all…IJS). I ain’t knocking nice looking. I do that all day long. I”m talking fantasy.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:39 am

Too, them pretty cats feel entitled. Why, I don’t know. It’s been those dudes that came with that cookie cutter stuff, that I happily shot down. That stuff that’s been worked over time and time again by chicks that just fell over for it….lol You can smell bullcrappery a gazillion miles away. Most times, I just find it amazing when you don’t fall for it, they’re shocked. It’s those dudes that go into the “you’re a cynical chick.” Kind of like throwing back at you, cause you didn’t fall the okie doke.

Bluzgirl

February 27th, 2013
11:42 am

Had to step out for a quick meeting…

disco – no picture of him, but a great description. My friends and I kept looking online for people we thought he would look at. Look up Leandro Lima…that’s who I picture as Christian! Beautiful man!!!

disco

February 27th, 2013
11:43 am

C – your post reminds me of the time a guy was just all up in my face giving me the bedroom eyes, batting his little lashes and whatnot. no play. anyone who knows me knows I don’t do “funny colored” eyes. to me any eye that isn’t brown is funny colored (and as far as I’m concerned scary looking). I don’t think I could wake up to it day in and day out.

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:46 am

disco – Been there many times, looking a dude who’s watching his own reflection in your pupils…lol Yeah, I feel ya on the no play. I don’t take issue with “funny colored eyes.” I have a girlfriend that’s got hazel eyes.

disco

February 27th, 2013
11:46 am

bluz – one pic he looked alright. the others, naw. he’s also extremely thin (and got the nerve to be posing with no shirt on with all that little bird chest showing – lol).

Celisea

February 27th, 2013
11:48 am

Okay, I’ve been killing time on a call that lasted two hours. The call just ended. Gotta get to work…..for real this time. I guess being a part of the (NC) team, I have to sit in but really none of it concerns me. So, I get to be preoccupied while they talk.

BBL…….

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 27th, 2013
11:48 am

Didn’t Fabio get hit in the face by a bird while he was on a rollercoaster???

disco

February 27th, 2013
11:51 am

C –one of my cousins has been effectively nicknamed the “little blue eyed boy”. he had to get those eyes from his “other people”. lol. I can tolerate them in general but I’m never going to be the one to gush and talk about they got pretty eyes and I’m not likely to ever date a guy with them. they disturb me.

Courtside – huh?

MsAtl

February 27th, 2013
11:53 am

Courtside- I do recall hearing about that. Didn’t the bird break his nose or something?

Leggs

February 27th, 2013
11:54 am

Dirty ~ they’re slow as rocks, mean spirited and clueless. I think..lol. Boy, I don’t know what’s wrong with the school board. I don’t have any insider information (lol).