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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Love thy neighbor?

If you are lucky enough to live in an area of Atlanta that is teeming with good looking people, you probably have thought about dating a neighbor. It’s so tempting, right? With soaring gas prices, who is more geographically desirable than the hot neighbor? Well, as with all things, this decision should be made carefully.

You have to determine the risks and benefits: Are they insane? Would they stalk me if things don’t work out? Are they capable of property damage? Will I wake up to find my poor pet being harmed? I’m making light of it, of course, but I know there are some single people that can give you cautionary tales about dating their neighbors.

My friend Carla said that she would date a co-worker before she dated anything resembling a neighbor again. After things got messy with a fine, fine man in her mother’s neighborhood, she has to drive a decoy car to visit her mother. The fine man wasn’t worth it.

What do you think? Is it a good idea to use your backyard as your dating pool? Is it a recipe for disaster or simply smart strategy?

Have you ever dated someone who lived extremely close to you? Do you think it was a good idea?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

193 comments Add your comment

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
8:07 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!

What do you think? Not a good idea. You all know the saying, too close for comfort. . . There are pros and cons to every situation. However, I view my home as my peaceful sanctuary and I don’t want that disturbed due to a relationship gone wrong. My viewpoint could possible be jaded due to having a stalker before, but yeah I don’t do neighbors!

Is it a good idea to use your backyard as your dating pool? Absolutely NOT!

Is it a recipe for disaster or simply smart strategy? I’ll take a recipe for disaster for $200!

*Same side of town, ok. Same street no can do!*

Button

February 26th, 2013
8:39 am

Good morning!

Have you ever dated someone who lived extremely close to you? Yes and no, he was my sister’s neighbor and we got married. I don’t have anything bad to say about dating neighbors. If it works good if not, then I can only imagine living in close proximity with an ex or someone you used to date. The anxiety alone is deterimental. Especially seeing him/her go on with their life dating other people. The sting!

My beau lives 20 minutes away so actually he’s my neighbor. I consider anything 60 minutes away a long distance relationship. If gas prices continue to rise we’ll have to skpe date..lol

mark

February 26th, 2013
8:49 am

HELLLLL NO! you may as well just give her a Key to your place and put her on the Lease! i made this Mistake once never again.

SlimNu

February 26th, 2013
8:51 am

Good morning,

Living close to someone you’re dating can be good and bad. Of course, if it doesn’t work out I don’t think i’d want to run the risk of keep running into them in all the local stores or whatever. And I most certaintly would not want to run into each other out on a date with someone else. That’s just not something I need to see. AWKWARD!

At one point in time, the ex and I lived only 8 miles from each other and that situation got a little hairy a few times. I’ll never forget how he popped up over there in the middle of the night when he could not reach me. I guess he felt strongly that I had someone over there.

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
8:55 am

-Button Interesting that you mentioned Skype dating, apparently there is a population of people in long distance relationships that rely on this as their primary means of communication. :-/

-SlimNu Yeah the popping up in the middle of the night, not good and he probably would have thought about it twice if he was further away, LOL!

Leggs

February 26th, 2013
8:59 am

Is it a good idea to use your backyard as your dating pool? – Normally, I would say no, but crazy is everywhere if the relationship doesn’t work out. Close proximity increases the ability to monitor one’s comings and goings if they decide to swallow the infamous stupid pill.

Mem>Is it a recipe for disaster or simply smart strategy? – Probably more a recipe for disaster. Sometimes, convenience is more a negative than a positive.

Have you ever dated someone who lived extremely close to you? – Nope.

Morning!

Button

February 26th, 2013
9:01 am

MissMoni – I’m not good at skyping, I don’t like it! sometimes it’s hard to connect or the other person on the other end looks like a robot.

disco

February 26th, 2013
9:04 am

good morning. I have a dating the neighbor story. it sure as heck didn’t turn out how I expected. a friend of mine starts sleeping with the next door neighbor. I told her it was too close for comfort, trouble/drama waiting to happen. the neighbor was an on again, off again fling. when it was off she was miserable. countless times she’d call crying because she was sitting on her porch looking next door as he brought the next chick(s) in and out. anyway, fast forward a couple of years, she and the neighbor actually got married and had a baby. I’m still shocked by that one. a bit put off too when you think about what all some folks do to meet someone and then a chick buys a house and marries the guy next door. that ain’t right (especially with the janky azz next door neighbor I ended up with). lol.

now, I also have countless tales of folks creeping in the neighborhood. I always wondered why they did that. going out their front door to sneak in someone else’s side door but I guess that’s not quite the topic.

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
9:16 am

-Button I too prefer face to face communication. Skype is definitely a last resort.

-disco Prime example of things that make you go hmmmm. . .

kimmie

February 26th, 2013
9:23 am

Morning good blog people!!

I wouls say this is kinda like dating a coworker, only a bit worse if things don’t turn out well. One of my former neighbors messed around with guy that lived in the same subdivision. He was living with his fiance’ who traveled alot. He would creep over to my neighbor’s house and vice-versa when fiance’ was out of town. Well, dude had his fun, but decided he wanted to cut it off and start back being faithful to his fiance’( plus word was he couldn’t deal with my neighbor’s nasty living habits, her house was borderline Hoarders). My neighbor was livid and started stalking him and fiance’ found out and dumped his behind!

I’ve never had a neighbor I was even remotely interested in dating.

disco

February 26th, 2013
9:36 am

moni – hmmm is right. lol. for a while I was actually feeling some kind of way. I think I walked around for months going “she’s marrying the next door neighbor”. I was in shock and awe. lol. I had to consciously pull myself back from other people’s how we met stories. she met her man on a plane? shoot, let me book a flight.

hey kimmie.

Leggs

February 26th, 2013
9:36 am

kimmie ~ I never had a desirable neighbor either.

kimmie

February 26th, 2013
9:39 am

Hey Disco, Hey Leggs!!

abc

February 26th, 2013
9:40 am

Is it just me, or is this totally nuts? Apparently everyone is insane, and wants to get with neighbors. Really? What’s up with the hot pants?

Leggs

February 26th, 2013
9:49 am

disco

February 26th, 2013
9:51 am

abc – well, let’s kick off today’s controversial back and forth. just what is insane? dating neighbors? and what’s wrong with hot pants? granted not everyone looks good in them but we can’t blame the hot pants for that. lol.

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
9:52 am

-kiimmie & Leggs I agree, no desirable neighbors either. Just old or already married or both, LOL!!!

-disco I like to hear the “How We Met” stories however they can range to both extremes of the spectrum.

kimmie

February 26th, 2013
9:57 am

Anytime you have able-bodied, consenting adults together in close proximity, something is bound to pop off at one point or another with someone. Work, school, neighborhoods, it’s bound to happen. I don’t see what could be so shocking about the possibility.

Alot of people get together that grew up in the same neighborhood. It just gets a little more complicated when folks are already grown and decide to explore dating each other. So many things can go wrong. Or so much can go right.

In my old neighborhood, an older gentleman lost his wife. A few years later he started seeing a lady down the street and they married. He now rents out his old house and moved in hers. Perfectly respectable.

Hazel

February 26th, 2013
9:58 am

This is a big no no. One should not date co-workers or neighbors. Its not a bad idea over-all. While I dont have any stories to share, i can say that getting too friendly with the neighbors in general is not a good idea. I regret hanging out a bit too much with mine. She started getting on my nerves s I found out that she is NOT my type when it comes to friends and now I completely just ignore her ..making it awkward for both of us. My husband even warned me that one should take time, even when making friends with anyone..let alone your neighbors that u see ALL the time.

disco

February 26th, 2013
10:02 am

moni – I love hearing them too (at least the interesting ones). I admit I get kind of perturbed at the regular ones. those are the ones that give folks false hope. lol. you know the grocery store, the post office, the gas station. stuff that you do all the time on the regular and you never meet a single solitary soul. have you walking around thinking this is some bull.
personally I haven’t dated neighbors or co-workers. once upon a time I would have said it was a definite no-no. now, no longer being a spring chicken and not seeing eligible men every time I turn around, I’d say make it do what it do. be mature and responsible about it. that co-worker could be the man/woman of your dreams. you can always change jobs if you have to. I’ve worked at places that were virtual meat markets. everyone was dating someone on this floor, married to someone on that floor. it wasn’t a big deal but I think it’s mostly because it was handled well.

Hazel

February 26th, 2013
10:03 am

There are positive outcomes however that can come out of dating a co-worker. What about dating the boss? would you be ok with someone in your office doing that? would you be worried about favorism?

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
10:03 am

-Hazel Your husband is exactly right! Great advice!!!

Button

February 26th, 2013
10:04 am

I live in an active community so I’m always seeing good looking men/women around walking or jogging…. a lot of them looking all hot with ripped muscles working out in the fitness center. whew lemme stop! Nothing wrong with looking.

SlimNu

February 26th, 2013
10:06 am

Now that I think of it, i’ve never had any neighbors that I wanted to date either. There was a guy that lived upstairs from me that attempted to go out with me but Ewwwwww!

kimmie

February 26th, 2013
10:09 am

disco – One of the ladies on my team is married now to a coworker that was introduced to her by another coworker! He works in a different department and now in a different building. They now have 3 kids together.

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
10:09 am

-disco I’m anti dating co-workers as well, been there done that got 2 t-shirts. The first time was doing my military days and the breakup worked out because he got stationed in Korea. Now my second experience was a little more intriguing. I saw this person every single day for 8 hours and after the breakup he got engaged to his baby’s mama (the child was age 10)!!! I must say that I was very professional. However about twice he said something slick and I had to completely shut him down and suggest that he not come at me like that ever again or it will get ugly. On a much happier note, I got a promotion, so I am in a totally different building and I don’t have to see him at all. Lesson learned! :-)

Leggs

February 26th, 2013
10:10 am

Thank goodness, my neighbors are cool. All of them. I’m single and the lady across the way is single. Other than that, everyone else is married w/children.

I love hearing “how we met” stories, but I especially love hearing “how did he propose” stories more.

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
10:11 am

I don’t see the big deal with close proximity….or not. It’s not the location, it’s the people. If you’re mature, you are mature. Whether it’s next door or the next state over….shouldn’t matter. It’s the people involved the reason things are a bust. Either you ain’t ready and “the norm” can feel smothering or truly a person is smothering and clingy and not respecting boundaries….literally. You can be next door neighbors and still respect each others need for space and time apart. You can live in another state and put on a pamper cause ya don’t wanna stop, you want to get there ASAP to see, snap, get, keep that man or woman!!! lololol

In all seriousness, we’re adults and should be respectful of time and space and allowing one another to breath. It’s all in how both individuals conduct themselves.

On the subject of skyping….ummmm NOT!!! Unless I’m sick and bedridden and he’s stopped by already to see about me and wants to check up midday or something, that ain’t happening. Either show up….or not :mrgreen:

Toodles….for now

disco

February 26th, 2013
10:12 am

hazel – truth of the matter is you likely have to be concerned about favoritism whether folks are dating or not. not everyone is as objective and neutral as they are supposed to be.

leggs – well you know about me and my neighbors. lol.

Button

February 26th, 2013
10:12 am

Hazel – I agree with your husband, one should take the time to get to know people esp neighbors. I’ve had the neighbor from hell and let me tell you, I was too happy when they moved! the noise was unbearable, all hours of the night, thomping, dragging and running and some aweful smell! Now my new neighbor is a tab bit talkative so I keep it at hi and bye when I see her, I dare say anything outside of that and it’s on, she’ll talk nonstop for what seems to be an hour.

disco – I love those how we met stories too. Some are so romantic.

MsAtl

February 26th, 2013
10:13 am

Morning All!

I would not want to date a neighbor for the reason many of you pointed out; if it does not work out, I wouldn’t want him to “stalk” me nor would I want to see him with the next boo on a regular basis. When I left my ex, he deliberately moved around the corner from me a month later and brought his mistress to stay with him while she was on maternity leave. Despite having her there, he would constantly show up in my driveway, looking in the garage window when I was out or checking to see if cars were in the driveway and asking my son about the cars. My niece came to visit and he took down the car info to question my son. He asked when he saw a repairman truck in the driveway, he went to our neighbors and asked questions; it was not a good time.

As far as dating a coworker- absolutely not!!! I always say, you don’t get your puddy and your paycheck in the same place. Yes, that is a recipe for disaster.

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
10:13 am

-kimmie For some people it really does work. A lady at my job married a co-worker (after he divorced his wife who also works for the same company) and it worked out. The man retired and his ex-wife and new wife work in totally different buildings and don’t have to see each other. Now the company Christmas Party is a different story, LOL!!!

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
10:15 am

-Leggs Those “How He Proposed” stories are the BEST kind! ;-)

disco

February 26th, 2013
10:17 am

well if the blog gets slow today (and it likely will) some of you can grace us with your “how we met, how he proposed and, if applicable, I knew it was over when” stories. lol.

Hazel

February 26th, 2013
10:19 am

disco – true. It could happen regardless, but when u r in with the MAN or WOMAN.. you may get a pass or two for things other folks may not.

Button – Yes..Its crazy how folks can be. Trying to compete with the Jones’s. Mine was more of her just getting too creepy about my personal life, asking crazy questions about finances etc. I had to pull the plug and go cold turkey. “I ain’t got time for dat”

Hazel

February 26th, 2013
10:21 am

sorry, it should’ve read, “Ain’t nobody got time for dat”.

kimmie

February 26th, 2013
10:25 am

Disco/Hazel – you are so right about the favoritism. Most if not all of the companies I have worked for have been very careful about guidelines for folks dating & marrying and whatnot. But when it comes to showing favorites, that’s rather obvious everywhere and have nothing to do with romantic entaglements.

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
10:41 am

I actually dated a coworker that lived (still does) about 3 or 4 miles or so from me. It worked out well for years. When the split happened, it had nothing to do with location. Matter of fact, living close ALWAYS seem to be one of the pluses for us :mrgreen: We were together for a few years. I didn’t “show up” at his spot and he didn’t “show up” at mine….well he did after we decided to part ways. Yeah, he did that a couple of times. I just left him out there…lol I get the feeling though he would have done that whether I was there or living in Timbuktu…..lololol

Button

February 26th, 2013
10:42 am

Letter #90 – Three months ago, the woman who was having an affair with my husband died suddenly from an accident. I found out about the affair only two days after her funeral. I thought she was simply a co-worker and I was wondering why my husband was so disturbed and emotional. He quit his job, saying it was too traumatic to go to work. She was in the early weeks of pregnancy when she died and my husband doesn’t know whether he or her husband was the father. So, on top of everything, he’s also grieving for a baby which may or may not have been his. I find it extremely difficult to be emotionally supportive when he wakes up at 3 a.m. crying and trembling—yet I don’t have the heart to yell at him like I want to. He says she’s dead, so there’s no reason for me to feel jealous or threatened, and asks for my understanding as he grieves. We’ve barely talked these last weeks because I don’t know how to respond to my husband when he cries and says he misses her and wishes she were here, then also how much he loves me and that he never intended to leave me. I asked him to visit a marriage therapist together and he said he’s “not ready” to work on our marriage, and thinks he needs to see a grief therapist instead. Do I need to give him time to mourn the loss of his mistress? Or should I demand he focus on our marriage?

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
10:43 am

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
10:45 am

A hoax? Are we on candid camera??? I KID I KID….back to work…lolol

disco

February 26th, 2013
10:48 am

button – really??? that chick is too nice. hubs would be laying in the plot next to old girl. him, her and the maybe baby could all be together eternally. comfort him? ninja please. how’d he like to be grieving and homeless at the same time? it takes all kinds.

SlimNu

February 26th, 2013
10:50 am

Button – DAMN! And I thought I had problems… :???:

MissMoni

February 26th, 2013
10:51 am

Button is this a REAL letter???

Button

February 26th, 2013
10:56 am

That’s my thoughts disco and SlimNu the hubs has some nerve! The wife is too kind and yet still try to work on her marriage. I would be livid with his act alone let alone him crying and moaning in my face everyday for his mistress.

From what I understand it’s real MissMoni.

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
10:59 am

If God don’t/didn’t like ugly, then neither should she, the wife.

Celisea

February 26th, 2013
11:00 am

Button – Are you able to share the site where you’re getting these letters? I would live to save in my favorites and read when it’s slow here.

Leggs

February 26th, 2013
11:00 am

I dated a guy at work moons ago. We worked in the same bldg, but different law firms. He even proposed to me (w/ring in hand). No doubt a Zirconium back then. Got my dumb a$$ all giddy with delight that WE called Mama and he spoke to her for some time then asked for her permission. When I tell you I was naive to the game, that’s an understatement. Got to work late the next day and told my boss and showed him my ring. Mind you now, we dated a little over a year before he asked. Anyway, things quickly shifted after he asked. I saw less and less of him, went to lunch together less and less.

Lo and behold, he was separated and his wife moved back to town (which I heard through the grapevine). Finally got a chance to sit and talk and, of course, ended everything. To make a long story short, there’s a record to this day that I never listen to and always change the station when it comes on = Denise Williams’ “Silly.”

Before anyone throws eggs at me, I was young, foolish and impressionable (22).

disco ~ you can laugh now. :wink:

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 26th, 2013
11:02 am

Morning all……

I had a thing a few years ago with a married woman that lived 3 floors down from me…. We would see each outher at building sponsored events and smiles became flirting and that lead to …… Well long story short, turns out her and her hubby had an open relationship, but she was not cool with me seeing anyone besides her…. Crazy right?????

MsAtl

February 26th, 2013
11:03 am

Button- he would move out and grieve on his own. I would not offer my shoulder for him to cry on; that goes above and beyond, sorry.