Hook up or relationship potential?
I know the feeling people get when they meet someone new and things are so..well NEW NEW. You aren’t sure if they like you the same way you like them. You don’t really want to show all your “cards” (emotions) first because that idea terrifies you. You basically want to figure out as soon as you can: am I a hook up or potential relationship candidate.
Maybe on some level, it doesn’t matter. Time usually reveals all, right? Is there a way to get a hint of which way it will go, though? The way we date these days makes it harder to gauge true interest. We definitely have to develop some skills!
How can you really tell if you are hook up or considered for a relationship unless you ask outright? Is it a good idea early on or can that backfire?
Do men usually take a long time to figure out if they are interested in a relationship versus just a hook up?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
233 comments Add your comment
Slim Nu
February 25th, 2013
12:55 pm
Bluz – No holier than thou over here….I mean, unless you are a sex addict and engage in high risk type activities, then I dont see the big deal in a hook up or two during a lifetime. If you’ve slept with all the men on your job, in your apartment complex, in your subdivision, all your friends partners etc…then you might, just might have a little problem lol
For Real
February 25th, 2013
12:58 pm
Leggs: I don’t need to be a woman in order to recognize BS. Chick may want that ish you mentioned but most chicks fail to realize respect and admiration is earn and not giving. Since you can’t see respect and admiration from across the room, I am going to go with what I can see which is your long leggs in that fitted skirt, greased up cleavage and that big bright smile. Cause I don’t know not nan dude that get sprung off respect and admiration.
Celisea: I think you would need to define “repeatedly” cause is if its 6 times then everyone chick you know is black inside.
For Real now making Leggs and Celisea a PB&J sandwich.
Button
February 25th, 2013
12:58 pm
disco – Dirty – For Real – yall are not going to make me side with you and your way of thinking! I stand firm in what I believe and will not faulter to appease to anyone. The same values I hold is the same values I’ve enstilled in my daughters and any child that come into my presence to not be a city with no walls!
Button
February 25th, 2013
1:04 pm
^% MsAtl – Celisea – Leggs
Bluzgirl if you want to hook up by all means continue if you see fit and it works for you, but calling someone holier than thou for not agreeing with you or doing the same is not good.
Why is there an arguement over who hooking up??
Button
February 25th, 2013
1:05 pm
oops that’s ^5 to MsAtl – Celisea and Leggs
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
1:07 pm
SlimNu ~ you have a point there re: meaningless sex.
Bluz ~ I understand the principal of it. Glad you’re willing to try other types of Trojans and putting Magnum back on the self.
For Real
February 25th, 2013
1:08 pm
Slim: We had a good time didn’t we?
For Real now remembering the good ole day with Slim and bag of salt and vinegar skins.
Bluzgirl
February 25th, 2013
1:09 pm
I’m not calling someone holier than thou…I’m saying that a lot of people act like they are holier than thou. If you don’t want to do casual hook ups, I have no problem with that. I’m not even calling out anyone on this blog. I’ve seen many women pass judgement on woman who hook up occasionally. Just because a woman wants sex, doesn’t make her a bad person. Come on…women are the first to call another woman a sl*t, wh*re, etc…
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
1:11 pm
Cause I don’t know not nan dude that get sprung off respect and admiration. – Cool, ForReal. No one mentioned gettng “sprung” and if you’re looking at the long leggs in that tight skirt and the cleavage, you’re at least sprung on the admiration part!
Slim Nu
February 25th, 2013
1:15 pm
For Real – I was just thinking about that the other day. We had a blast but I think I may have had way more fun than you. Speaking of which, i’m still missing my shoelace, velcroe strap and big can of squeeze cheese.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
1:19 pm
Ut oh, whatcha doing with that velcroe strap???
Slim Nu
February 25th, 2013
1:42 pm
Leggs – I think he may have strapped everyone’s mouths/hands shut since it got super quiet in here. lol
For Real
February 25th, 2013
1:45 pm
Slim: Remember the shoelace broken when we you trying use it as pulley. As for the squeeze cheese i ate that up while performing a earmuffintechomy and the velcroe strap, well you know how strong your legs are when they start to twitch. What I want to know is what the hell happen to all those pop rocks and do you have my mustachifier?
kimmie
February 25th, 2013
1:47 pm
Hey Gang!!
Got my convertible Beetle on Saturday and it is BANGING!! I am in heaven!!!
On topic – I think most folks know what they want when they leave the house, though that can change. Some might go out thinking I’m not looking for anything serious, and then meet someone they think could change all that. The key really is finding someone on the same page, take them at their word, and be able to deal with it if your mind changes over time and the person’s doesn’t. Folks want guarantees and there just are not any. You are taking a chance when you put yourself out there.
We all may have found ourselves in a hook-up situation at one point or another in our lives, depending on what was going on at the time. No shame, unless it’s become your way of life. Then it’s just sort of sad, but hey do you.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
1:50 pm
Possibly because it’s eerily quiet. All chatting stopped at once.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
1:51 pm
Congratulations, kimmie…What color?
kimmie
February 25th, 2013
1:52 pm
Leggs – Thanks, powder blue with a black top and grey interior!
Exiled!
February 25th, 2013
2:01 pm
Women don’t have the power to call it a relationship by themselves. A lot if times two folks meet,they fugg,the relationship is not defined as exclusive at that point.
For guys,it is a hook up
For women,they usually just say ‘he’s my friend’ to their aquaintances. But she been f^gged already.
It’s a hook up. But she won’t admit it to herself,let alone to another.
So uall wasting ur time.
Yes Disco…blog women f^gg too!
Hook ups.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:01 pm
Sounds super cute!
For Real
February 25th, 2013
2:02 pm
What up Kimmie. Um, powder blue? Your husband’s life is about to change.
Kimmie: Hey honey can you take my car to the shop and get the breaks fixed?
Sammie: No!
Kimmie: Why not? Come on baby.
Sammie: No! I told you not to buy that dayum car in the first place.
Kimmie: What’s wrong with my car? I love it.
Sammie: Yeah until I have to drive it!
Kimmie: What’s wrong with you driving my car? (Doorbell rings) Hello can I help you?…. Sammie Twan from Auto Zone is here!
kimmie
February 25th, 2013
2:03 pm
Leggs – It is!! The kids are thrilled they don’t have to ride in my hoopty to school anymore!!
Slim Nu
February 25th, 2013
2:03 pm
As for the squeeze cheese i ate that up while performing a earmuffintechomy
For Real – I guess that would explain why i had ritz cracker crumbs in my arse. I still have the mustachifier but I told you I was not giving it back until you bought me another industrial sized bottle of ky jelly. That was SOOO not funny when you poured the pop rocks in there and had my goods blowing up like a Fourth of July fireworks shows
kimmie
February 25th, 2013
2:04 pm
For Real – You and your skits – cute!
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:08 pm
SlimNu ~ you are good!
disco
February 25th, 2013
2:08 pm
button – re 12:58. ain’t nobody trying to convert you. do you miss.
kimmie – just remember to take your ski mask off when shopping. lol. oh wait. you are down south. never mind.
kimmie
February 25th, 2013
2:10 pm
It’s a hook up. But she won’t admit it to herself,let alone to another.
Exiled – That doesn’t make sense. If one is ashamed to admit it to others, then they’ve already admitted it to themselves!!
See a grown a$$ woman with any dignity about herself will own her hook up or whatever her situation is. A big part of growing up is not having the need to have your friends all up in your business! It’s nobody’s business but mine & who I deal with.
kimmie-Bugg owner!
February 25th, 2013
2:14 pm
Hey Disco!!!
Bluzgirl
February 25th, 2013
2:15 pm
Yay kimmie!!!! I know you’re happy and probably finding any reason to drive your car all over the place!
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:16 pm
kimmie ~ a big part of growing up is not having anyone up in your business. You and your mate. That’s all that matters.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:17 pm
Gas on the chest….
kimmie-Bugg owner!
February 25th, 2013
2:18 pm
Bluz – Yep!!LOL!!
For Real
February 25th, 2013
2:20 pm
Slim: “That was SOOO not funny when you poured the pop rocks in there and had my goods blowing up like a Fourth of July fireworks shows” – Yeah but you got to admit it shoal was purdy. It made me all tinglingly inside. As for the ky, no,I’ll be at your office around 3 for your daily earmuffintechomy that should relieve the burning itchy sensation you feel. So bring my mustachifier and make sure you are sitting in a more sturdier chair this time. So when I strap your legs to the chair and tilt it back you will not break it.
For Real now pack
disco
February 25th, 2013
2:23 pm
kimmie/leggs/C – I stayed up past my bedtime last week to watch scandal and it only occurred to me over the weekend that y’all didn’t bring it up. lol.
Robert
February 25th, 2013
2:26 pm
From my experience I have heard a woman can tell if they are interested in a man by his body language (smile, eyes, smell, height, weight, teeth, etc.) in the first 5 minutes after they meet. I have heard women say “men spend all that time, efffort and money trying to convince her for nothing”. A woman already knows what she wants and how to get it.
kimmie-Bugg owner!
February 25th, 2013
2:27 pm
disco – I actually thought about that later myself! Let me ask you – it looks like the new dude is stalking for the Prez, but do you think he kinda likes her himself?
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:27 pm
For Real
February 25th, 2013
2:28 pm
Chapter 2
Welcome to Auto Zone my name is Antwone.
Sammy: Yeah I’m looking for some plugs
Antwone: Cool, what’s the make, model and year of your car?
Sammy: Um, it’s a 4 cyl
Antwone: Okay but Imma need the other info.
Sammy: It’s a 2010 powder blue Beetle.
Antwone: Oh my… okay i got your plugs right here Mr. Man.
Sammy: Don’t call me that Antwone.
Antwone: My friends call me Twone and I like your car.
Sammy: Well I ain’t your friend and it’s my wife car. I’m married.. to a girl too
Twone: How long you had that problem?
Sammy runs out of Auto Zone….
Twone: Handsome you forgot your plugs!!!!!
Exiled!
February 25th, 2013
2:30 pm
Kimmie..u and I are just outsiders looking in.
But from what I have observed and heard on here,women are more secretive about s e x stuff,even to their friends. Men..nope…if we hit it,we let others know unless if the chic has been upgraded,that’s when we don’t talk to our peers bout it. We are secretive when it comes to money issues.
Actually,if a chic wants to find out from a dude if she is hook up or serious stuff to the guy,she should find a guy friend who knows his friends.
If her layup business is an open secret with his folks,or he has indicated to them how many times he has slept at her house etc…she is a hook up.
Riding with my bro,taking him to the Airport as he was flying out,his phone rings. I could hear a female voice in the background. My son and daughter were sitting in the back. But I wanted to know who that chic was without letting the kids in on the discussion.
So I switched to Zulu. They don’t understand it.
So I ask:
Him. Or it’s some chic that lives in Lawrencville.
So what’s the deal,I ask…
And he broke it down,sexually as laughed and slept hands all the way to the Airport.
It’s a hook up.
I am never going to hear him say that he wants to marry her.
She should ask me.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:30 pm
kimmie ~ I think the more he watches her, the more intrigued he’s become. He will either “deliver her from eva, I mean evil” or stomp her more into a foolish heap of snot!
kimmie-Bugg owner!
February 25th, 2013
2:31 pm
For Real –
Exiled!
February 25th, 2013
2:32 pm
we laughed
disco
February 25th, 2013
2:37 pm
leggs – I almost don’t remember the episode. I remember thinking they need to leave huck alone. they were acting like he smelled like hot garbage sprinkled with piss. lol. I remember thinking david (?) didn’t need to get caught up with abby again. I simply don’t like her and think he can do better. the president was smelling himself but I think last week’s episode reminded him that he really doesn’t know what the heck he is doing. (and I hope all “my thinks” are from last week. I could be mixing episodes).
Slim Nu
February 25th, 2013
2:38 pm
For Real – No worries on the chair. I found a gently used dentist chair on craigs list the other day. It came with a 2yr supply of dental floss, 3 tubes of fixodent and 12 mouth guards.
Exiled!
February 25th, 2013
2:39 pm
I remember way back,nailing this chic inside my car,as it was raining,whilst parked at nite at her sister’s house. I really liked that ….in the rain.
We had mutual male friends and I let them know bout that experience.
How bout one of my buddies wanted her too but I beat him to it. And he called her…talkbout,’how u gon let Meelo nail u in the car like that’ …laughing etc.
She called me and told me to go to He ll
I was out of rotation.
Button
February 25th, 2013
2:40 pm
Kimmie you should be proud of your car and your hook ups. Any grown a$$ woman would be!
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:40 pm
Your thinks are from last week, but guess you forgot that Huck smells because he’s in shell shock. When he was captive, they waterboarded him. He’s scared of water. I think Abby is sneaky too, and the President is simply falling apart because he knows he doesn’t deserve to be President.
disco
February 25th, 2013
2:41 pm
slim – no you didn’t bring up the dentist’s chair… I remember telling someone once that the dentist’s chair was made for getting it on. lol.
Leggs
February 25th, 2013
2:41 pm
Oh, and when Olivia slapped the President while in the closet, she should have been turned off instead of turned on! She’s a twit….
kimmie-Bugg owner!
February 25th, 2013
2:42 pm
Exiled – Sound like some high school ish to me. But that’s why a lot of women(grown) are not sharing their business with everyone. Plus, I thought you dudes didn’t do such, you are always downing women for telling their friends everything. Now you’re admitting that’s not the case. Why would I need to run behind a grown man’s back and ask his friends about his escapades?
Personally though, that’s why alot of dudes miss out on more quality women. They are immature and have double standards. I know with me I have met guys where the chemistry between us was off the chain. But I still had to get to know him better and try to gauge his maturity level before I went there with him. Not judge me because things happened rather fast or throw me in the hookup catagory and call me easy.
disco
February 25th, 2013
2:43 pm
leggs – I caught on to why huck smelled. just don’t think they had to do him like that (like they ain’t never smelled funky before – lol). you know huck is my boy. I remember how he checked old girl for asking if he was alright.