Dating: He’s making her wait!
Just when I think I have heard it all before, I get a surprisingly candid email from a guy who has a dilemma about delaying sex. He asked his new girlfriend to commit to abstinence as he has. He explained his reasons (spiritual mostly) and expected her to be understanding. She was not understanding.
I was struck my his sincerity in trying to preserve the relationship because he has grown to care for her a lot. If she is unwilling to take the celibacy journey with him, does that mean she is not The One?
I believe that relationships are about compromise. I just don’t know if celibacy is something that can or should be compromised. I don’t think cooking is a deal breaker, but sex/abstinence is definitely an issue that can make or break people up.
The young man wants to know if he should give her a “pass” to get her needs met by someone else – and by pass, he means “don’t ask, don’t tell” me. Would that be a recipe for disaster or a viable option for you, personally?
Dating could be a lot simpler if the celibate people could find and date one another! It is helpful to disclose your celibacy early on. When would you mention that, though? It’s not like you can casually say, “Hey, buy me a cookie? Speaking of cookies, my cookies stay in the jar”. Then again, you can’t spring that on someone after they are practically ripping your clothes off at the end of the date, either.
What is the best way to gauge whether you are on the same page when it comes to sex or no sex?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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344 comments Add your comment
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:37 pm
s/h – you like being told to shut up don’t you? there’s all kind of fetishes I suppose but I never heard of a shut up fetish. lol.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:38 pm
I have to pull out my laptop, turn it on, and sit there. Naw, I’m on this computer all day, don’t need to be glued to another when home. Hence, I’m not a daily FB user.
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:39 pm
LOL. I just laughed imagining a shut up fetish. how many ways can you tell a person to shut up? shh, hush, be quiet, shut your mouth and keep your teeth.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:42 pm
Disco, yea that turns me on, (a sexy woman telling me to shut up, then using one of 3 things to make me shut up) (LOL)
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
4:43 pm
Facebook is for women
Lol
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:44 pm
Leggs, I have to admit, I’m addicted to technology, but not all the social networking stuff.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:45 pm
clutching my pearls, Single…
Ex ~ it’s also for birly people who spy!
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:46 pm
Not a bad thing to be addicted to.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:47 pm
Leggs, clutching your pearls
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:49 pm
random – y’all I’ve been off jack daniels for a minute. I think it’s time for me to get back on. I been chilling with tito lately but jack is my main man.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:50 pm
Disco, have you ever had lynchberg lemonade?
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:52 pm
Single ~ meaning I was thinking of the 3 things that can make a man shet up. Had to clutch my pearls (lol) on my risque thoughts.
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:53 pm
leggs – were the three things duct tape, a baseball bat and a brother named deboe?
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:54 pm
Anybody had Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey? Really good for shots at a party.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:54 pm
Leggs, clutch your pearls and squeeze your legs together (LOL)
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:54 pm
I’m crying, I laughing so hard at you disco!
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:55 pm
Disco, only you would pull that out of the closet (LOL)
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2013
4:56 pm
Have a good night everyone! I’m off to have dinner with my brother!
Toodles! LOLOLOLOL
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:59 pm
s/h – I’m in a baseball bat/duct tape frame of mind. hence why I said I needed to holler at my boy jack.
bluz – you off.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:01 pm
Leggs, I must say my thought about you clutching your pearls was that you were moving them out the way so I wouldn’t drool all over them (LOL)
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:02 pm
Disco, you need a vacation
disco
February 21st, 2013
5:04 pm
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
never mind. don’t shut up. I’m calling my brother. “Deeeeeee – Boooooeeeeee”
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:04 pm
You got me on that one, Single!!!
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:05 pm
I thought Deboe got knocked the f@#k out (LOL)
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:05 pm
Enjoy your dinner and time spent w/your brother, Bluz!
disco
February 21st, 2013
5:05 pm
yeah. but you ain’t craig. lol.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:06 pm
disco, you have to just do it, stop procrastinating and waiting on others.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:07 pm
That was Pacquio, Single!
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:08 pm
don’t have to be craig, deboe lost his street cred, aint nobody scared of him nomo (LOL)
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:10 pm
Pacquio?? took me a minute to get that one leggs, I haven’t seen a boxing match since Ali/Forman (LOL) and the ropadope (LOL)
disco
February 21st, 2013
5:10 pm
s/h – I know you don’t know me so you can’t possibly know that I NEVER wait for others. i’m just not motivated right now.
alright street cred. who I need on my team? ex? I gotta call ex? LOL.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:13 pm
Hope you’re not talking about Ex on this blog…he doesn’t fight! He’ll run, leaving you right there.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:14 pm
Single, all that matters is that you got it. No timer here (lololol).
disco
February 21st, 2013
5:15 pm
leggs – that was the joke. LOL. girl I’m tired. besides, push come to shove, single is little. I’d fight him myself. lol.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:15 pm
Ex (roflmao) see disco, I’m almost knocked out
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:16 pm
Disco, mmm will you now:-) you making me blush
disco
February 21st, 2013
5:16 pm
s/h – you crazy. you being on the floor is half the battle. now I’m sitting here giggling for real.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:17 pm
Got it, disco. I was slow that time. Didn’t even sense the facetiousness in your post.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:18 pm
But I did think you probably could take him on yourself. You are your own bodyguard!
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:21 pm
yea Leggs, she could
then probably would walk away talking about you better not look at my butt (lmao)
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:23 pm
Naw, she wouldn’t say that. You’ll have 2 black eyes so she knows you won’t be able to see a darn thing.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:24 pm
Leggs with that big a$$ toothless grin that would be on my face, yes she would (LOL)
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
5:27 pm
You got it, Single.
Nite.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
5:29 pm
nite leggs