Dating: He’s making her wait!
Just when I think I have heard it all before, I get a surprisingly candid email from a guy who has a dilemma about delaying sex. He asked his new girlfriend to commit to abstinence as he has. He explained his reasons (spiritual mostly) and expected her to be understanding. She was not understanding.
I was struck my his sincerity in trying to preserve the relationship because he has grown to care for her a lot. If she is unwilling to take the celibacy journey with him, does that mean she is not The One?
I believe that relationships are about compromise. I just don’t know if celibacy is something that can or should be compromised. I don’t think cooking is a deal breaker, but sex/abstinence is definitely an issue that can make or break people up.
The young man wants to know if he should give her a “pass” to get her needs met by someone else – and by pass, he means “don’t ask, don’t tell” me. Would that be a recipe for disaster or a viable option for you, personally?
Dating could be a lot simpler if the celibate people could find and date one another! It is helpful to disclose your celibacy early on. When would you mention that, though? It’s not like you can casually say, “Hey, buy me a cookie? Speaking of cookies, my cookies stay in the jar”. Then again, you can’t spring that on someone after they are practically ripping your clothes off at the end of the date, either.
What is the best way to gauge whether you are on the same page when it comes to sex or no sex?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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344 comments Add your comment
disco
February 21st, 2013
3:45 pm
ex – now that was funny. not because you are clowning bluz but because I could hear a little no good kid saying that trying to get somebody pumped up. lol.
Bluzgirl
February 21st, 2013
3:45 pm
Ex – I really don’t care today! Told y’all I was feeling sassy today! Lol!
DuShawn
February 21st, 2013
3:45 pm
@Court- I read what you wrote to Robert…..that was funny. That man prolly done punched a hole in his monitor tryin to snatch you azz thru the screen…lol
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
3:46 pm
Single ~ by you putting the “t” in roflmao makes you uppity!!!! IJS…
kimmie
February 21st, 2013
3:46 pm
Isn’t it weird, though, when you see men choose women that look alike? I’ve seen it happen plenty times – dude gets divorced or widowed and the new woman looks eerily like the prior one.
I had an uncle that did just that. He & his wife divorced and about 5 years later he was engaged to another. His nephew gave them an engagement bbq so she could meet everyone. When we walked in my said “what’s his ex doing here?”. She had just glanced quickly as we walked in. Come to find out it was the new fiance’!
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
3:47 pm
Ex that’s not an interpretation, that’s stated FACT!!
Class is honoring the person while they are alive by keeping your vows, not trying to live by others standards after death!! But I forgot, Ex’s world Ex’s rules!!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 21st, 2013
3:49 pm
DuShawn…. Right…. He needs to stop playing with the shaft first…. LOLOLOL
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
3:49 pm
kimmie ~ that has always been weird to me. He likes the look of the woman, but wanted someone with basically the same face, but different habits.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
3:50 pm
@leggs huh (rotfmfao)
disco
February 21st, 2013
3:51 pm
random – when was the last time any of you said “yo momma” to someone for real? not just yo momma jokes playing but a straight up “yo momma”?
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
3:52 pm
Ok, what does that stand for, Single (lolol)?
It’s rolling on floor laughing my a$$ off, not rolling on THE floor….
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
3:53 pm
disco, I did 6 years ago….
disco
February 21st, 2013
3:53 pm
leggs – do you remember why? the circumstances?
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
3:54 pm
Ex world Ex rules?
Really? That’s an inferiority complex
I just state my opinion buddy,why u feel I rule unless u don’t think ur own opinions count for anything!
Lol
Button
February 21st, 2013
3:55 pm
I need a kiss….smooches not allow
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
3:56 pm
Leggs in my english class you didn’t “roll on floor” you roll on THE floor laughing my f@%king a$$ off (LOL)
MsAtl
February 21st, 2013
3:57 pm
Leggs- A true pagophagiac knows that QT crushed ice is the best. Although it isn’t really crushed, but it is soft. Also Sonic ice and hospital ice.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
3:57 pm
disco ~ I most certainly do. My then husband told me I was a worthless piece of isht and after everything was said and done, I said Yo Momma and filed for divorce the next day.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
3:58 pm
yea Ex, we all know you have an inferiority complex, you don’t have to state to obvious (LOL)
disco
February 21st, 2013
3:58 pm
s/h – in my English class the teacher consistently told the class that we were “rude, crude and ignorant”. fast forward and one of my son’s teachers said the class was “sad, sick and sorry”. lol.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:00 pm
Single ~ all well and good, but in the land of text, proper English isn’t usually allowed.
Also, Single, you typed rotfmao. Not sure what you’re doing on the floor, but it isn’t laughing…(lol).
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:00 pm
leggs – when you said six years ago I knew you knew exactly who, what, where, when and why. lol.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:00 pm
Lmao @Leggs, did his jaw drop?
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 21st, 2013
4:00 pm
Button…. A real grade A Man Woman kiss, or a soft peck on the lips shy boy smooch???
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:01 pm
Right on, Ms.Atl, Right on. I was just standing at the elevator talking about hospital crushed ice…too funny!
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
4:01 pm
@Single..ur momma is so shot that’s why u 5 feet 0 inches tall
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:02 pm
Leggs it’s force of habit to many years of having it drilled in (LOL) Didn’t know you were the text grammar police (lmao)
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:03 pm
See ex, there you go showing how you feel inferior, so you have to try a put someone else down!! (LOL) glad I could make you feel better
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:04 pm
ex – you been chewing crushed ice today? (this is not directed at the regular crushed ice chewers, only ex). lol.
MsAtl
February 21st, 2013
4:05 pm
Leggs- When I was in Cleveland I could not find a Sonic, so we stopped by a hospital. My daughter went in and said we needed ice for an injury. She came out with an ice pack and a sour stank look on her face. We went to another hospital and this time went to the maternity ward and scored a pitcher, which we shared in the car. Not our finest moment, but I tell you we had the shakes for real.
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
4:05 pm
Ur momma is so fat that’s why u like fat women
Ur momma is so fat that why her email address is XX.com
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
4:06 pm
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:07 pm
ex – you been crushing and snorting ice today? LOL.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:10 pm
Single, basically, then the pleading. When a woman is done, please believe she’s DONE! We’re great friends now because I worked on it (we’re parents) but mates we could never be again.
Button
February 21st, 2013
4:10 pm
Courtside – maybe he don’t want to come off as flirting. playing it safe.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:11 pm
Leggs, I know from experience of what you speak (LOL)
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:12 pm
Single ~ I’m not the text grammar police, but when acronyms are used I simply want to know which each letter stands for. That’s all.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:13 pm
That is definitely a first, MsAtl. Definitely a first.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:15 pm
Leggs, I’m just joking with you about the grammar police
) this is all in fun. It’s getting to much like Facebook up in here (LOL)
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:16 pm
s/h – how is facebook? I really don’t know.
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:17 pm
Not FaceBook, Single, it’s FB (rotflmfao)…By George, I’ve got it…
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:18 pm
I figured you were joking, Single but wanted to give a truthful answer.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:21 pm
Disco, people posting about their lives, having senseless arguments (yea I’m the one to talk) (lmao) getting upset when others opinions don’t agree with theirs (LOL)
Leggs okay FB (LOL)
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:23 pm
Disco, 3 more days
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:24 pm
Single I just got a text asking if this is the weekday I get on FB. Yeah I’m on about once a week and I don’t post much. I know one who posts every freaking thought in her head. Good grief….
disco
February 21st, 2013
4:28 pm
s/h – shut up. some folks are just always popping off at the mouth. lol. pfft…3 more days. don’t nobody care. lol.
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:31 pm
Leggs, I don’t post, but I keep up with a lot of scuba stuff and my scuba club, and I like to play poker on there also. I have several that post everything from the time they wake up until they go to bed, and even when they can’t sleep
I have to check myself at times to figure out what’s worse, them posting it or me reading it (roflmao) 
Single & Happy
February 21st, 2013
4:32 pm
Disco, what’s wrong, want me to be your travel agent (lmao)
Exiled!
February 21st, 2013
4:35 pm
Liverpool are winning uall
Leggs
February 21st, 2013
4:36 pm