Can you date someone without lying?
A lot of people become cynical about love and relationships because they usually bring some type of conflict. The way you handle that conflict lets you know a lot about your long-term potential. A common issue is honesty. That seems to trip a lot of people up.
Why is it so difficult to be honest and have full disclosure when you are dating someone? If you ask a question, why is it difficult to get a real answer? My friend Sean says that you can’t date someone without lying. Whether it is lying by omission, half-truths, or little white lies- it is something we just contend with in dating and relationships to make it work. Do you agree?
I have a hard time believing that a good relationship can operate with lies. I definitely don’t want a dating relationship to start based on lies! Maybe I’m being unrealistic? How hard is it to hear the truth?
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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329 comments Add your comment
Into the Light
February 14th, 2013
11:30 am
BTW, shooting straight from hip doesn’t necessarily mean “being mean and rude.” Blunt, perhaps, but not mean and rude.
Agreed. And not all yankees are rude. I’m just speaking about the ones who are.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:32 am
BTW, shooting straight from hip doesn’t necessarily mean “being mean and rude.” Blunt, perhaps, but not mean and rude.
Chile, I so cosign. I just live and let live. Can’t worry about coddling folks and how they’re gonna take stuff. I think as long as a person is saying the right thing, with the right intentions, nothing else should matter too much.
Can’t we all just get along? lololololololol
Into the Light
February 14th, 2013
11:33 am
Into the Light
February 14th, 2013
11:36 am
All this talk of shopping, I might have to hit the mall on my lunch break. Or Tuesday Morning. I haven’t been there in FOREVER.
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
11:37 am
DuShawn- “that’s a dayum spread.” You are a fool! I had to laugh at that.
Disco- wait! I have a “guest room,” lol. I also have been teased by folks because I say hot dog while they call it a frank.
DuShawn
February 14th, 2013
11:37 am
“……I have down feather beds and down comforters”……Did I misread that or was that an invitation?
Bluzgirl
February 14th, 2013
11:38 am
I wish I actually had money to shop…tax return should be coming in tomorrow and it will be going right back out to pay off my bed!
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:39 am
I’m waiting on disco. I got bonus money
Into the Light
February 14th, 2013
11:40 am
@MsAtl: What do you call Coca-Cola?
Exiled
February 14th, 2013
11:41 am
If it’s something he wants to try, I’d much much rather he just put the moves on me
Celisea…actually, that wld be a good come back on your part coz, like u say, u dont know why hes asking, so,rather than trying to deflect(or lie) or even start an argument…..”why u asking me that..(yelling)” u wld rather just move towards him…in a sexxy knda way…and just respond back,” so Darlin, u wanna put that move on me”..
Just make sure u make it look like he is the champ and Inventor of the move!
otherwise its not gon end there after he enjoys your expertise…the next question is gon be…
Who taught u that!?
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
11:42 am
ITL- I call it Coke.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:44 am
Mmeello – Just make sure u make it look like he is the champ and Inventor of the move!
I agree with all of your 11:41 especially that “who taught you that” question….lol We know how men can be in that department. To the copy and pasted I just bolded, I almost said (when I initially responded), that I would just “act” like he came out of the box with it. You are spot on my man…lol
kimmie
February 14th, 2013
11:45 am
Cel – I’ve never bought bedding and linens and such from Ikea, but I love their kitchen & diningware, vases, organizational stuff like containers & boxes and I got some cool drawer pulls and cabinet knobs from them too. I also like their cinnamon rolls that are like Cinnabon, but only cost a dollar and the hot dogs!!
disco
February 14th, 2013
11:45 am
celisea – funny I am not an ikea groupie like a lot of folks I know. I do go there from time to time just to walk around. I’ve bought a few sets of drapes there and not much else. I haven’t tried their duvets or comforters but for $10 I’m willing to try them.
ms atl – I too say hot dogs. and I say pop instead of soda.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:49 am
Kimmie – Thanks for that. I’m adding a bit more stuff to my house, post renovations and I’m in this area now. Putting on the finishing touches and picking up good stuff for the new look. I needed this. Last night I went to Floor Decor for a couple more pieces of tile to accent the pattern. We’re almost done!!!
disco – Okay, I have NOTHING against a good bargin.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:50 am
My mom’s caretaker and a couple of other elderly ladies in her group, will have a day trip to Ikea. They look around, squat awhile and grab lunch. My mama LOVES it.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:51 am
have a day trip AT Ikea.
Exiled
February 14th, 2013
11:52 am
ITL…northerners border on rudeness coz for most, unless they work in the finasncial district,the life aint grand!
Northerners experience the cold and the little money but taxes are high and theior money dont go far,cost of living is waaaay expeensive…its just a hustle…
Let alone living in match boxe houses and high rise box apartments that birds rather envy!
and paying thru the nose for rent..not even mortgage.
No wonder they are kinda rude….
Its pityful
disco
February 14th, 2013
11:53 am
C – even if they are cheap and poorly crafted and only hold up for one or two washings my “guest room” gets almost no use so a cheap $10 duvet could look good for a long time and i could say “well, i got my $10 worth”. lol.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:54 am
Y’all, I have been racking my brain this morning. I keep my account balanced to the penny or most times, I keep a mental tab going of what I spent and deducting from the balance as I go (keeping receipts and stuff), but I’m off this morning by about $700
There’s more in there than I expected but I don’t see any incoming credits other than what I was expecting 
I’ve gone over it a gazillion times, so now? I’m about to move most of that balance to a different account 
I’m saving money in that account.
Just something I’ve been pondering over since about 7:00
abc
February 14th, 2013
11:55 am
he calmly asks u if u have ever did such and such,which u did in ur past,wld u be so open to saying Yes?
Don’t ask questions if you don’t want a real answer; don’t expect a real answer from chicks to most of those kinds of questions.
What’s the body count? Ever been a chinese finger puzzle? In public, on a plane, on a train? It becomes Green Eggs and Ham: in the rain? In the dark? On a train? In a car? A tree? Answer is: either no, or silence. Why do you want to know? I figure I want to know about as much as I want to talk about those things of myself, which is not so much. But if asked, sure, I’ll tell.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
11:57 am
disco – Nuh uh…lololol Okay, for a guest bedroom okay, but main beds and bedrooms, nuh uh. I say that cause you’re gonna be spending $10 a million times to a good 80.00 plus comforter set. And I just tossed out $80.00 Shoot, you catch Macy’s at a good time, you can get them bad boys (and the whole set) for the low low…as low as $39.99 sometimes.
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
11:58 am
Exiled- SOME Northerners. I can hold my own when met with nastiness or rudeness, but as a rule, I am not rude. I believe in treating folks the way I want to be treated and I believe in respecting you until you give me a reason not to.
Into the Light
February 14th, 2013
12:00 pm
I believe in respecting you until you give me a reason not to
co-sign.
Leggs
February 14th, 2013
12:01 pm
MsAtl ~ that’s funny. I don’t think I’ve ever said “frank,” just like I’ve never used the word “pop” when wanting a soda. If anything, I will use the whole word and say “frankfurter.”
I’m waiting on my bonus. I want a high table w/high chairs dark brown round kitchen table seating 4 or 6. I also want knew kitchen cabinets.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:02 pm
Alright folks, I got a call at 1:00 so I need to grab lunch.
disco – Let me know if you skip work and if it was worth it, if any good bargins.
disco
February 14th, 2013
12:02 pm
C – because I am big on down comforters I splurge on those. duvets I swap out often be it for the season or because I’m bored with the look or whatever but I keep a good fluffy down comforter on the ready. I have a couple of them still in the little plastic carry bag that I bought on sale a while back. I haven’t had a real “comforter set” or bed spread in many years now though I have been thinking about investing in a spread. it will have to be for summer though. I gotta have my down in the wintertime.
Exiled
February 14th, 2013
12:03 pm
Cel…its mid month and u balling!
I got 35$ in mine..
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:03 pm
Leggs – My brother didn’t like my cabinets but to install new ones was going over what I allowed myself to spend. He said he might strip and restain to match the dark hardwood floors put in.
That’s an option….just an FYI
Leggs
February 14th, 2013
12:05 pm
“northerners border on rudeness coz for most, unless they work in the finasncial district,the life aint grand! – What a silly, blanket statement. Working in the financial district would seem to make many northerners more rude than other professions. Are you kidding me??? Stress is stress, but not working in the financial district definitely doesn’t say one’s life isn’t grand. Good gosh o mighty….
disco
February 14th, 2013
12:05 pm
leggs – by high table do you mean those pub-height tables? I saw a table that I wanted online and instore they only had the pub-height version. dude tried to convince me to buy the one I wanted anyway. I couldn’t do it sight unseen. I told them they needed to put the one I wanted on the floor. I still don’t have a new table.
C – likely I will not skip work. what I will do is ask around to see if any friends will be going who can grab one for me. it’s not that real.
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:06 pm
disco – Gotcha. Well, check out Macy’s sales, cause they have greeeeat prices for comforter sets during that time. Marshalls/TJMaxx have pretty good priced sets as well. Shoot, a comforter set can get dang expensive. I ain’t dropping $200 or $300 for one. Nuh uh…lol
Mmeello – Stop….lol This one stumped me. I didn’t post that to brag or anything, but this place is my “twitter”, so I tossed it out there….lololol
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:07 pm
disco – Gotcha…naw skipping for $10 ain’t that deep. IJS and lol
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:07 pm
My sister, bless her heart, said take it for what it is…lololol
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
12:09 pm
Leggs- I was grown before I heard the word “pop.” A friend from Buffalo NY asked me to pick her up a pop while I was at the store. Imagine her face when I handed her a Blow Pop! After she explained she wanted a soda, I was like, us “real” New Yorkers don’t call it pop. She also said tennies for sneakers, lol.
Exiled
February 14th, 2013
12:12 pm
NO, I meant the grand part….life is hard for most..general blanket statement but true..the rudeness is like Osmosis..once u live there and experience the rudeness from taxi folks, general folks on the streets, even if u have it, u become obnoxious as well with time…
U think The Donald is rude coz he dont have it or he just hapened to live in a city of obnoxious people…
I was up there last year,New york ..new jersey, Connectcut….I dont even know why the average joe blow pumps up Brooklyn coz its pitful sight up there,looking at where they live….
That gottra make an average person feel miserable and just rude and unkind coz there have to do so much just to make it.
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
12:14 pm
Celisea- I paid almost $200 for a set for MY bedroom (not the kid’s). It was originally @ $450. I did what I like to call a triple-dip; combined a sale with a coupon with Kohl’s Cash. Yes, I know the price is often inflated to make the sale price look better, that is why I will only get it on the triple dip or the 30% coupon.
Leggs
February 14th, 2013
12:16 pm
Celisea ~ I thought to do that. I want new ones, but know it’s not really in the budget. Repainting isn’t a bad idea.
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
12:16 pm
Exiled- still too general and all-encompassing. Even living there for years would not make me rude toward everying I meet; it is a case-by-case basis. I guess you could say I am choosy with my rudeness, you get what you give.
I think The Donald is rude because every time he passes a mirror he has to see his effed up hair!
abc
February 14th, 2013
12:17 pm
Perceptions of northern rudeness vary per location. Philly, yeah, pretty rough; NYC, sure. But Staten Island is a nice place full of nice people. Jersey Shore is nice, nice folks (I never watched the show of imbeciles by the same name). Other towns in PA, Ohio, WI, MI, mostly nice folks, especially away from cities. Shoot, most of GA considers Atlanta to be the southern center of rudeness. I guess it’s relative.
disco
February 14th, 2013
12:17 pm
ex –and, just so you know, we’re not all new Yorkers.
ms atl – I think I would have had a tear in my eye had you brought me a blow pop. I can just hear old girl asking for a grape pop or an orange pop and you rolling back with a sucker. that’s too funny.
Bluzgirl
February 14th, 2013
12:18 pm
Get this…the courier who comes into our office every day is very loud and talkative. How about he comes to my office and says “What? You don’t have anything? It’s Valentine’s Day.” I gave him a funny look and said “I don’t have anyone and really don’t care about it…” Seriously? You gonna make it loud and point me out? Sheesh!!! LOL
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:19 pm
MsAtl – I ain’t never said “don’t do”….lol Shoot, don’t walk away from a good deal. For an original price of $450, $200 ain’t half bad. If that’s a deal here and there, go for it. But I can’t be up in the linen store or department every other week dropping that kind of cash. That will get pricey. Then too, the higher ends set are just niiiiice, 600 count sheet sets and stuff. I ain’t gon lie, I do like nice though… Just have to keep smart about it. Mmmmm hmmmm
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:20 pm
Leggs, if you want to see pics of some he’s done, let me know. Absolutely gorgeous.
disco
February 14th, 2013
12:20 pm
ms atl – speaking of misunderstandings. my mother and I laughed about this recently. one of her friends who lived in an upstairs duplex and was expecting a visitor told her son (around 9 years old) to run down and take the lock off the door. now what she meant was unlock the deadbolt. what he did was get a screwdriver and take the lock of the door. she said she wondered what was taking him so long but never got up to investigate. next thing you know he’s sitting the whole lock on the coffee table.
Leggs
February 14th, 2013
12:22 pm
disco ~ not quite pub height, but taller than your average dining table. I look over to the spot and visualize it. I’ll know it when I’ll see it and feel…yeah, that’s the table!
MsAt; ~ I’m hollering over here. That was FUNNY! Thanks for the laugh. I definitely understand (rofl). Always, always sneakers!!! I can’t even imagine going in closet to get my tennis shoes (lol). I have a friend who gets on me every time I say I’m going “food” shopping. She doesn’t understand why I don’t say “grocery” shopping. Simple, I didn’t grow up saying it that way.
Exiled
February 14th, 2013
12:23 pm
Disco..when we say Northerners, we aint talking of u folks in south and north carolina..granted, u up I-85 north from Atlanta.
we talking ny,philly,etc
u heard?
north carolina is mild mannered,nice southern chics too
Celisea
February 14th, 2013
12:23 pm
MsAtl – We said “tennis shoes” growing up. I say sneakers most of the time now.
Let me go get lunch before the time slips away.
disco
February 14th, 2013
12:26 pm
leggs – after leaving home I had to train myself to say “grocery shopping”. I grew up saying/hearing “make groceries”. imagine the looks you get when folks who are not familiar with that one hear you say it.
ex – I live in NC. I’m not from NC. NC is straight “down south”.
MsAtl
February 14th, 2013
12:26 pm
Celisea- Did you twist your lip when you said “mmmmm hmmmm?” Lol
Disco- That is too funny. I bet next time she will be more specific.
Leggs- I say food shopping also. Some of my friends say they are going to “make groceries.” What???