Worry about picking the wrong one?
There are those who believe that single people are afraid of committing to anyone. What is closer to the truth, though, is many people are afraid of picking the wrong person. This is a real fear because we hear all the horror stories, see the divorce rates, and start to to doubt if it is worth it.
It’s really interesting because some people don’t trust their instincts when it comes to finding the right one. Let’s face it, we have a long line of “what was I thinking” exes to point to our bad choices! The question then becomes, how do you handle the fear of picking the wrong person?
Do you ever worry that you could end up with someone who is not a good match? Do you wonder if the person you pick will change?
What is the best advice someone has given you about picking the right mate? Share the wisdom!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
241 comments Add your comment
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:00 pm
@Disco…i havent lived in Atlanta hood, so im being str8 up..my partner used to live in the hood and i wld visit and spend weekend afternoons,checking hood girls and observing hood boys in corners,selling green…
I do know hood….i grew up hood by the way, but not american hood…..thats what im saying
Bluzgirl
February 12th, 2013
3:02 pm
From what I’ve heard, most bootleg DVD’s are very crappy quality…
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:02 pm
Please!! Bootlegging is not reserved just for the “hood!”
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:03 pm
ex – for some reason I thought “your hood ain’t like men”. sort of like “your blues ain’t like mine”. btw, tsotsi has been coming on tv lately. I thought I hit a lick when I bought it on tv. does that movie represent your hood?
leggs – survival. that’s it. and folks get real creative when it comes time to make a way out of no way.
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:04 pm
bluz – that was back in the day of the camcorder in the movie theatre. these days the bootleg dvd has come a long way. lol.
Into the Light
February 12th, 2013
3:04 pm
Not necessarily. It’s about survival of the fittest, by any means necessary. – You can be fit in prison, because if you steal from me, that is where you will be. Ask for help, and I’ll help you all I possibly can. Steal from me and I’ll have you locked up.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:04 pm
DuShawn ~ hate to admit this, but this past Sunday I learned what a “stack” was from an 11-year old boy. Never paid the lingo much attention.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:05 pm
“Ex – that’s almost oxymoronic. I know hood because I have visited. really? that’s funny man.”
disco ~ I laughed after reading that too!!!!
Bluzgirl
February 12th, 2013
3:06 pm
Du – The thing about 3 months salary probably wouldn’t work out well in my favor! The ex didn’t have a salary, so I would have gotten a ring out of a bubble gum machine from him if it went that far! LOL
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:07 pm
Ex ~ I now see your 3:00. Cool.
Bluzgirl
February 12th, 2013
3:07 pm
disco – I’m not too interested in watching bootlegged DVD’s since most movies come out really fast to DVD these days. That’s what I have Netflix for!
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:08 pm
tsotsi …
@Disco…kinda,sorta,Yes….Tsotsi means Thief/Robber,gangster…….its a zulu movie with a Shona title,,funny….
rough and tumble,surviving,any means necessary, u see it, u look the other way….
Thats hood!
Disco, growing up, my brother and I used to luv going to the local greyhound just to watch pick pockets practicing their defty touches,stealing folks wallets……then they would go to the greens market,buy eggs and vegetables and walk back to their homes to feed their families…
Into the Light
February 12th, 2013
3:11 pm
@Ex: That reminds me of one of the short stories in “Say You’re One of Them”….what a great book.
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:17 pm
ITL..yea, yea yea, if i hadnt stuck to books like a leech, i wlda been be a famous car jacker.
we used to be chased away from the greyhound sport(we were kinda young then) by the wave of a hand by the other look-outs..because they didnt want us to forwarn the unsuspecting commuters, who didnt know their pockets were being picked….
Maybe i shld write a movie script & enlist Dushawn for colorful lingo style….
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:18 pm
ex – we discussed tsotsi before. I thought the movie was good.
ITL – I ain’t mad at you on the lock somebody up tip but the real good hustlers (like my momma and nem) were hustling you without you even knowing it. did you not read where I said the landlady came to visit? sitting up in my momma’s apartment enjoying the electricity she was paying for. that’s game right there. and no, my momma didn’t get caught. I’m not even going into right or wrong. just happy my little 8 year old behind wasn’t sitting in the dark. lol. folks love to say don’t get high off your own supply but a real fly somebody will dip in your stuff and make you think the high is on them. that’s how they do.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:19 pm
ITL ~ I hear you, but that’s the way it is. You’re paying for the electricity, it’s not yours, but I get your drift. I would never, ever send someone to prison for stealing electricity from me. I grew up in hard times so I know many tricks people used just to get to the other side of thru…
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:22 pm
itl – if I’m thinking of the same book I really only liked the story about the child trafficking. I wasn’t feeling the others so much.
ex – you’d have to list dushawn or somebody otherwise no one would understand what the heck you were talking about. lol.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:23 pm
I hear you loud and clear, disco!
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:23 pm
re: your 3:18
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:25 pm
I don’t think my neighborhood growing up was considered “the hood”, but I can definitely relate to folks trying move up and get in where they fit in. I can’t remember mama ‘nem bamboozling electricity but I remember other “stuff” getting bamboozled. And much of that I overheard or “caught wind of”, cause that kind of stuff was kept between mama and daddy. They didn’t let us in grown folks’ business. All we knew is we had a place to sleep and eat, chores, went to school, obeyed and that was all. Looking back though now, a lot of stuff I can put together (along with the stuff I overheard or caught wind of). Wasn’t real sure of it back then (had a clue), but not as much clarity now….looking back…than I did as a kid.
I’ve done bootleg, when my sister buys them…lol…but I don’t buy cause I can’t ever see the picture good. So, I don’t spend my money on that.
Mmeello – What are the “hoods” like in Africa compared to here? Also, we need a pic of you. Not being funny but I wanna see what all your hype is about.
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:27 pm
leggs – I know you hear me. some other folks up in this camp hear me too. lol. my all-time favorite hustle as a child was the busting of the food stamps. boy we’d have a candy party trying to get enough change for a pack of newports. lol.
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:28 pm
@Disco….i only write bad english so i can relate to uall hood selves.
u can aks the white folks i work with
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:32 pm
I also remember thinking the little rent a center scam was the lick. folks would break into and unlock an empty apartment and have rent a center deliver a house full of furniture and then move it as soon as rent a center left.
ex – you ain’t gotta come off how you come off for our sakes. not that I’m trying to speak for everyone but I’m just saying…
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:33 pm
Celisea, Ex does send out pics. Bet he’ll gladly send one to you.
Speaking of hustling, that 79 year old woman selling marijuana and hoarding $130K in children’s lunch boxes was doing her thing!!!
DuShawn
February 12th, 2013
3:34 pm
disco – you stooopiid..lol…I’m starting to think we’re cousins. re: stealing electricity. We used to take the meters from vacant houses and exchange them with ours. Then switch it back before the meter reader came at months end. (Obviously this was before internet connections) When you get your bill, you only used two days worth all month. Your bill was like twenty bucks. And we kept one of those tools to turn your water back on. Funny thing is, I did none of this until I lived on my own. My moms paid her bills on time. She wasn’t with nuthin illegal.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:34 pm
disco ~ I have an ex-friend who uses “lick” the way you do. Never heard it until she said it.
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:36 pm
Leggs – LOL…maybe I shouldn’t. Shoot, I just wondered cause he’s always calling folks ugly or commenting on folks’
MMeello – Your english wasn’t as broken or so broken a couple of years back. Actually, I noticed a few months ago, when I went back and was looking for something in particular in the blog archives. That’s when you posted as MMeello. Not being funny, but I though, wow his writing really wasn’t that off a couple of years back. It’s only gotten worse this last year or so. Just saying I noticed it too. Again, not being funny
SlimNu - More of me
February 12th, 2013
3:37 pm
discard the last statement, will you marry me (rotflmao)
Single – Try to propose without rolling on the floor laughing your arse off. It sort of makes it hard to take you seriously sheesh!
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:38 pm
The kid’s dad always “dreamed” of hitting a lick somewhere. He was a bunch of hot air and wasn’t gonna buss a grape….lolol
Into the Light
February 12th, 2013
3:38 pm
I would never, ever send someone to prison for stealing electricity from me.
Then that’s where you and I agree to disagree. Because if you need help, let me know; shoot, I’ll even help you run the drop cord. But to steal it from me? Nah….can’t get with that. Two things I hate: a liar and a thief.
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:39 pm
Ex ~ go for it, send Celisea a pic. Or give me permission to send to her. I have her address (lololol).
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:40 pm
Leggs – SEND IT!!! I’m connected on LinkedIn…wonder if it’s the same pic.
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:41 pm
@Cel…..
Also, we need a pic of you…u have it..u have forgotten or trashed it but i send it to u(of my fam) waay back..if at all, its yours i need to see.. LOL
Mmeello – What are the “hoods” like in Africa compared to here?
..there is good hood, bad hood and real boogie hooods….
but bad hoods aint like over here in terms of crime….no guns per se maybe knives and a little car jacking…but not much in poor folks hoods
but hood criminals prefer to takje their craft to rich folks neighborhoods, not in hood hood neighbohorhoods….
hood folks meet out instant justice in AFRICA if they catch u….by the time the cops come,which takes long time..u mnay have seen ur last supper….
It is easier for Tostsis and they can get more by doing crime in white folks and other rich black neighboods coz, unless theyre guns…rich folks are just kinda easier,more lame and thus sitting ducks to intimidate..and rob..besides they have it…
Rivh neighborhoods are gated, they have dogs on the outside and some keep guns….
There is no due process in africa..u rob, the guy got a guy…u just die…..u re a robber..no rights…
Thats my hood african sense there..
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:41 pm
It’s cool to disagree, ITL. Not many proud people will ask if they could use some of the electricity your paying for.
Bluzgirl
February 12th, 2013
3:43 pm
Leggs – send it to me!
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:44 pm
No problems Leggs….i think Cel is playing,she has my pics
here is the scoop, i dont check my englsih nor revise it…i dont put the effort..like i wld in a doc i am writing at work
Thats why..
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:44 pm
dushawn – you just never know. I know I have a good 100 cousins easy. who says you aren’t one of them? you can at the very least be an honorary play cousin.
leggs – I remember we started saying lick probably when I was a teen and for some reason that one just stuck. at least I’m not still walking around talking about def or dope. lol. wait, I still say fly. lol.
C – my momma always uses that bust a grape expression. lol.
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:44 pm
Im out
good nite
Into the Light
February 12th, 2013
3:45 pm
@Leggs: Seems to me if you’re sitting in the dark, you can lay that pride aside for a moment. Especially if you have kids.
DuShawn
February 12th, 2013
3:46 pm
Anyone ever seen that Ice Cube flick when he was in S. Africa and got car jacked. I can’t remember the name, but that was a good movie.
Exiled
February 12th, 2013
3:46 pm
the guy got a gun
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:46 pm
ex – I’m not even necessarily talking about your English. sometimes I just don’t understand what the heck you are talking about. I see the words. I comprehend the words. I just don’t know what they heck you are trying to say. not all the time though. just some of the times.
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:46 pm
Mmeello – Not that I’ve been to Africa but what you wrote is sort of what I’ve read or pictured.
I had a Sundanese driver from the hotel last week to take me to the airport. He was a pretty cool guy and I enjoyed listening to him tell me about his culture and upbringing. He was just telling me how he only spoke in Arabic until he came to the states in 2006, about the various tribes, and what not. Pretty nice guy.
DuShawn
February 12th, 2013
3:46 pm
Cousins make dozens.
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:47 pm
ITL – we can’t make you understand. lol. so, like you said, just agree to disagree.
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:48 pm
MMeello – i dont check my englsih nor revise it…i dont put the effort..like i wld in a doc i am writing at work
I don’t either on the blog. I consider this the hood (not a reflection on anyone), and a place to kick back
disco – I purposely said “buss”….it ain’t the same say “burst a grape.” lololololol
Leggs
February 12th, 2013
3:48 pm
I cannot / will not send Ex’s pic out w/o his permission.
Into the Light
February 12th, 2013
3:49 pm
@disco: I understand, I just don’t condone.
And I’m not pushing my ideals on anyone; just saying what is right and wrong in MY eyes.
Celisea
February 12th, 2013
3:49 pm
Mmeello – Honest, I don’t have pictures of you. I think you’re getting me mixed with another. Seriously. I’ve seen the pic you posted on LinkedIn
disco
February 12th, 2013
3:50 pm
C – my bust should have been buss (at least that’s how it would have been pronounced). I would never say burst. I don’t think I use that word. now bust. I like that word. bust you in the back of the head. bust your bubble. yeah. bust is useful. lol.