Dating Ex-files: Are you vulnerable?
So you know that saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, right? What happens when the woman from hell has access to your personal information, social media accounts, or private photos?
According to a study by McAfee (Intel Company), a revengeful ex can leave you vulnerable and exposed. The results of the study showed: “28% of people have regretted (once they broke up) sending intimate content and 32% have asked their ex-partner to delete the personal content. But despite these risks, 36% of Americans still plan to send sexy or romantic photos to their partners via email, text and social media on Valentine’s Day.”
That’s right. Before you get those dirty messages or pictures cued up for Valentine’s Day fun, decide if you really trust the person you are sending it to. Would they ever flip out in a fit of anger and put you on full blast on Facebook? Could you imagine them using the password you gave them (um, don’t do that) to wreak some kind of havoc in your life?
It’s tricky because trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. No one wants to think that their significant other would intentionally hurt them. Trust should be earned. You have to know who you are dealing with. If you have doubts about their character, maybe don’t send them a picture of you in a thong. Just saying!
Have you ever had an ex try to exact revenge on you using your email, photos, or private information you once shared?
The McAfee study also showed that “Over 56% of people surveyed admitted to checking their significant others’ social media pages. People track their ex-partner on Facebook more than they do their current partners.” I admit that I have found at least two exes on Facebook. Well, one found me but I stalked his photos to see if he was happy. Ok, that’s a lie. I wanted to see how fabulous his wife was. Do you ever do this?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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232 comments Add your comment
Lee
February 8th, 2013
6:55 am
No, i never sent dirty pictures to anyone and never taken a dirty picture. I will never trust someone that much, and why would you need such a photo?! I have been asked many times and it irks me that guys think this is ok to even ask. Only once i received a dirty picture from a guy, i didn’t ask for it , i think he may of thought it was going to impress me, well it pissed me off, and all he got was “have a nice day”, that was the end.
I was standing in line waiting to order for lunch, there was a group of guys in front of me, one guy had a big screen cell phone, some chick sent him a naked picture, well he shared with his friends and everyone else in line, how could you not see, he was holding it up to show his buddies, i thought to myself “wonder if she knows he is so sharing” .. women young ladies really need to think about sending that kind of stuff to people, you just don’t know what someone is going to do with those images.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
7:43 am
Hello everyone
Don’t worry about someone getting into anything of mine, because you’re not getting the password, not even if we’re married!! And don’t start that thing about trust, and nothing to hide, because if you’re significant other really thought that, they wouldn’t ask, or take if you tried to give it to them. As far as pictures go, If you don’t want it out there, then don’t take them. But as far as I’m concerned, when the relationships over the pictures go by way of the shredder or deleted! Life is too short to waste on seeking revenge.
Button
February 8th, 2013
8:53 am
good morning – tgif! never sent nude/salacious pictures to anybody i’m dating and as for my password, I’ve given it out once before and as soon as he was finished helping me out, I changed it. I didn’t want to take a chance of him back tracking. Not to say I had anything I didn’t want him to see but I didn’t want him having access to my email all willy nilly. As for cell phone password, I sometimes see my dude trying to sneak a peek at me keying in my password. I change it, never know some folks are good at breaking codes..lol. But what about givng keys to the home? when you break up do you change the locks?
As far as trust, I trust NO ONE! I can only hope anything we’ve done in our dating venture the dude will not do anything to get back at me out of revenge.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
9:11 am
Button, just change the code on the alarm, and have them arrested if they try to use it.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
9:14 am
I’ve sent pics in the past, but not with my face. I also have had pics of my SO either sent to me or pics I took. I could have easily put them out there and embarrassed him (them), but I would never do that. I would never send pics to someone I didn’t trust 100%.
One of my best girlfriends recently broke up with her psycho boyfriend. While she was out of town a few weeks ago, he broke into her Facebook and said all kinds of nasty things and sent messages to any guy she had talked to. He really showed himself and her FB ended up getting locked out. She had to go through hell to get it back online. After all of that, when she got back in town he proposed to her and he keeps begging her to take him back (which she won’t). Oh…and he’s also threatened suicide a few times…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
9:17 am
As far as keys to the house…when I broke up with Ex, I got my keys back. It started out as an amicable break up, so I didn’t think about changing the locks. Once things got nasty between us, I wasn’t worried that he made another key, but I was worried either he or his fiance would show up at my door…
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
9:29 am
I don’t waste my time being vengeful. I’m not hacking into anybody’s email accounts, taking their sim cards, infiltrating their voicemail. Naw, such a wasted emotion being vengeful. I’m not going to stress myself trying to make you miserable.
The best habit is to never send racy pictures.
Bluz ~ that guy is a punk, plain and simple.
Good morning.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
9:36 am
Leggs – girl…punk doesn’t even begin to explain this guy!!! Unfortunately, she is having to tread lightly because she’s kind of scared of what he may do to himself (or to her). We’re trying to get her to file a restraining order, but she won’t do it yet. I’m super worried about him because he really has been acting psychotic since she broke up with him…
disco
February 8th, 2013
9:43 am
good morning everyone.
bluz – I know you’ve been to therapy and all but did you meet your circle of friends in “group”?
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
9:45 am
I was just looking at a segment on GMA (I think) a week or so ago, about a site where ex scorned/angry/vengeful lovers are posting risque pics
, and some woman featured where she’s trying to get hers removed. Okay, here’s what I don’t get. Why or why would you send, take, record pics, deeds and acts where you possible be ashamed??? I get folks are caught up in the moment and just luuuv luuv luuv their lovers/SO, but ummm never ever should you lose your scruples. That meaning (cause I don’t want to offend), the ability to just know somewhere somehow in the future, y’all just may breakup and you’re dealing with someone that’s vengeful = crybaby??? I mean, IMO if you’re jiving and grooving and digging each other so much so that things such as pics and videos are popping off, let that be something that’s shared during a time the two of you were together (if y’all ever decide to part ways). Knowing there’s the very possible that the relationship may not be eternal, I would think, thinking twice about such activities would be top of mind. Now, if we know the person we’re dealing with will be grown-up so much so that we part ways, they can just “let it go”, shoot have at it….lol But, you gotta know who and what you’re dealing with. Sometimes folks and their behavior just give me pause…IJS and lol
Anyhoo, I agree with those that say it really ain’t that deep, not to the point of posting something that was shared between just the two of you. And really, I think it’s women that would need to be careful more so, only because of the double standard and how society thinks. We all know a man can do and be the scum of the earth, straighten up and fly right (as my mama would say), and all is forgettn and forgiven. Women? Not so much. But no, I wouldn’t take pics cause I’m too square for that and I wouldn’t post any I’m in receipt of. Naw, for real, I just wouldn’t do because you NEVER EVER know how deep folks go in their craziness.
I’m heading home today….yaaaaaaaaay!!! I’m ready too. I miss my boo
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
9:45 am
Morning All!!
I’m with Single and Leggs this morning. Never sent pics or had any sent to me. Even before all this cellphone pics and Facebook mess started, there were too many stories in the news about folks getting in trouble because of pictures resurfacing or kids stumbling across embarassing stuff. So I never take pictures, videos, etc of anything I am ashamed of coming back. I never understood the thrill of some folks wanting to film everything!
Neither me or hubs have passwords on our cells. He has one of those big Galaxy phones and I have an iphone. When calls or texts come thru they are in clear view. Neither of us seem to have the desire to check out who is calling, but if one is in the middle of doing something, we’ll answer for the other. We both have a Facebook page, but I can’t tell you the last time I went on mine, probably at least 2 years ago. He goes on his occasionally and talks to some of our mutual friends and his updates get emailed to me somehow.
I don’t know, I guess some would consider us boring. We just don’t have such issues with phones & Facebook and such. We are just too busy. I guess if you have nothing more to do with your time than spy or plot revenge, well that’s just sad. Get a life!!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
9:46 am
where you’d possibly……is what I meant
Button
February 8th, 2013
9:48 am
single – that’s all fine and dandy but, what if there’s no alarm?
Bluzgirl – dude is crazy.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
9:48 am
Perhaps I’m speaking out of turn because it has never happened to me, but if a person wants to harm themselves, that’s not on my conscious. Hopefully, she’s threading lightly because she’s not sure if he will harm HER. If he wants to harm himself, that’s his call. You can’t guile me into babysitting you and your fragile emotions.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
9:51 am
forgotten, possibly (a second time)….lol
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
9:51 am
Morning, fewbies that are here
When my ex and I broke up, I still had the key for quite some time. He didn’t change the alarm code or any of that. But i’m just not that kind of chick to try to sneak over there and do something vindictive. Actually, my ex never removed my name from the call list for the alarm. There were times I was with the beau and i’d get a call from the alarm folks of the ex, stating the alarm went off and they couldn’t reach him. It was like 3 or 4 in the morning and the beau and I were knocked out. My phone is just a buzzing from some unknown number. I ignore it but they keep calling back…I finally answer it and sure enough his house had been broken into. I think i’m a pretty trustworthy chick so I suppose he felt no need to change locks for me
disco
February 8th, 2013
9:52 am
kimmie – speaking of kids stumbling across embarrassing stuff. I will never forget as a child stumbling across (translation rambling where I shouldn’t have been rambling) pics of my dad’s girlfriend doing some stuff. they were Polaroid pics and had the nerve to be wrapped up in aluminum foil. lol.
celisea – I see you are still embracing “square”. lol.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
9:52 am
disco – LOL…no…I’ve known this girl for about 8 or 9 years. I’ve talked about her on here before with buying her house and ending up taking care of him and his mother.
He supposedly is going to therapy now, but I don’t believe it for a second. He honestly needs to be locked up in a mental hospital. I fear for her safety…
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
9:53 am
And honestly, I like peace and quiet. I don’t want to deal with folks that bring drama. Don’t get me wrong, you strike me, I’ll strike back. But just to bring drama, or deal with crybabies and stuff, naaaaw miss me with that.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
9:53 am
Button, then maybe you should change the locks.
Kimmie, with all the information that people keep on their cellphones, you should have a password in case you ever loose it.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
9:55 am
disco – Didn’t you know? IT’S HIP TO BE SQUARE!! lolololol Who sang that song? Hewy Lewis and the News…I think. I embrace my squareness
I’m getting it allll out now, cause I got a 5 hour meeting today. Ugh!!!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
9:55 am
kimmie ~ that’s how I would be too…no password on phone, calls come through, I’m not hiding a thing. He can answer mine, and I can answer his (hopefully)
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
9:56 am
Leggs – I think she just has no idea what he’s going to do if she is stern with him. The poor girl has already dealt with her sister in law accidentally killing herself. This guy is bringing back those feelings every time he does this crap. He’s just looking for attention and hoping she’ll take him back, but each time he has done this, she doesn’t respond to him and lets his family deal with it…It really is crazy!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
9:58 am
Single – I know I should, since I did lose my once, in Vegas. Thanks for putting the fire under me!!
Disco – I’m really not worried much about a vengeful ex, even if hubs & I were to divorce. My biggest worry has been either a child or other family member finding something, or if someone would break in or a fire or I got sick and someone had to go to the house and pack a bag for me.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
10:00 am
Dang Bluz, if he’s that bad then you guys need to go get that TRO (which is just a piece of paper that perpetrators don’t care about). If you really fear for her and he’s mental, then do something.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
10:03 am
Leggs, does the company you work for require you to have a password on your computer and change it every few months?
disco
February 8th, 2013
10:06 am
single – are you about to give us a top ten list of why everything should be password protected? sounds like that’s the direction you are headed in.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
10:12 am
No, Disco not a list, your personal information should be just as important to you as theirs. Most don’t realize how much information they put on their phone until it’s too late. Most that have passwords aren’t to keep the S/O off, but to keep others off.
Or should I do Single’s top 10 list to have a password (LOL)
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
10:15 am
If you don’t mind me asking, how did she “accidentally” kill herself?
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
10:16 am
Single, yes sir!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
10:21 am
I get what you’re saying, Single. I don’t have an IPhone or even a smart phone. I use my phone to make phone calls. I don’t store much of anything on it. I use the alarm to wake up every morning and have my picture as a screen saver. I don’t even use the calendar feature. I take a few pics with my phone, but it’s not my main source for picture taking. Most numbers are in my head anyway. Credit card numbers, hotel account honor numbers, etc. All in my head. Never used an address book, I just memorize numbers. It’s weird because I really do not like math, but numbers themselves intrigue me.
disco
February 8th, 2013
10:22 am
single – I just felt a lecture coming on. personally, I don’t even have a smartphone. yep. I still have the old school flip phone. lol. password protect that? for what? to keep somebody from getting my cousins’ phone numbers. heck, half of them are disconnected at any given time and the other half can only get text messages. lol.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
10:22 am
Leggs – I don’t know what to do. Luckily, she has a friend from out of town staying with her, so she’ll keep an eye on her.
The sister in law had done the suicide threat a couple of times. She would take several pills, but not enough to take her life. She wanted the attention. Well, one day, she did this and got in the car to go hide somewhere. She ran into a ditch and it was full of water. She was disoriented and fell into the ditch and drowned…
disco
February 8th, 2013
10:25 am
leggs – I forgot about you and numbers. I dreamed 1034 the other night. didn’t think to tell you. told my mom and she was ticked because 134 came out in pick 3 and there she was playing pick 4. oh well.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
10:27 am
Did u meet ur circle of friends in a group?
Lol
talk of a loaded question.
Leme check back a’ read the response.
@Disco
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
10:29 am
Even though I have an iphone, the only info I keep on it are contact numbers and addresses that I try to keep a hard copy of in an address book. I am old-school in that I keep one of those! They are good for having everything together to send out Christmas cards and invites and such. I do have a few pics, but none really I would be devestated in losing. I never keep account numbers or passwords on it at all. So if I were to lose it, it would just be inconvenient more than anything. But there is a way to download all the info from the phone to my computer in case I were to lose it to minimize the damage!
Button
February 8th, 2013
10:32 am
Hope springs eternal for your friend Bluzgirl.
Situations like your friend is troublesome.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
10:33 am
My dad used to work at a job where his passwords had be changed several times throughout each workday. Talk about a pain that had to be. lol
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
10:35 am
Bluz – Reading your posts sometimes about these drama-filled friends just makes me tired. You are a great friend to stick around and try to help, you will be richly blessed one day I believe. I just can’t deal with such though. Men that like drama and friends that have too much of it going on, I have always run from the minute I start to sniff it out.
I remember one guy I broke up with cried his behind off on the phone. I could not believe it. It actually scared me. I was spending alot of time at my dad’s house at the time when he was ill, so I was not around my house much. But I was so afraid he might come over and do something. Plus, my dad’s assistant/caregiver was ex-military and very menacing, so I think he would have scared him too. But that’s the closest I’ve come to dealing with a crazy man. I’m just not the one.
Button
February 8th, 2013
10:36 am
I use my pbone for everything from paying bills to telenav, to taking payments, to managing my calendar. It’s my personal assistant. If I were to lose my phone I will be lost. All my favorite apps! I would be done.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
10:37 am
If u send nekkid pics do it the way Bluz do…no headshots…just the nice lower nether ..lol I doubt any of these Lick masters would recognize and spread word that they belong to so and so…
Who studied features like that when are going for the jaguar?? Lol
And I know most women close their moufs anyway when the python is in the mouf….lol…opening eyes momentarily just to aim the spit!
Send me the pics ladies!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
10:41 am
Disco, leggs, naw you wouldn’t need to put a password on either of those (LOL)
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
10:41 am
kimmie – She has been one of my best friends for a long time, so I gotta stick around her. Now, she’s trying to get her ex’s mother to move out, but doesn’t want to be mean and kick her out right away. Problem is, the mother is letting the ex come into the house when my friend isn’t home. I told my friend she can be stern with the mother and if she doesn’t respect her rules in her house, then she can kick her out on her butt! It’s a terrible situation and I just pray for her…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
10:42 am
Button – I’m like you…I would be LOST without my phone. I use it for everything as well. I guess I should password protect it, but it’s such a pain!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
10:42 am
There is no way I could deal with a circle of friends where someone or something is always tettering. That’s a downer and would bring me down. All I would or could do is recommend Jesus (as the first option) and if they wanted to take the professional help route, then do that. But always always someone has issues would just make me tired and cause me to have to exit stage left.
Not to be all insensitive, but IJS
Alright heading to my meeting.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
10:45 am
Button, see you need a password
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
10:46 am
Bluz, you won’t some real pain, let someone breach your accounts, and you have to get them back in order!!
disco
February 8th, 2013
10:49 am
as for friends and drama, I admit that I don’t mind “entertaining” drama. I will not be a part of unnecessary, repetitive drama that serves no real purpose and could easily be prevented. of course my friends and family know I don’t have patience for foolishness so they wouldn’t bring it to me if for no other reason than they wouldn’t want to have to hear my mouth.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
10:53 am
Bluz – This is another reason why shacking is no good. This isn’t even her husband, it’s a BOYFRIEND and his mama is living with them? Oh heck naw! And of course mama is letting him in when she isn’t ther, that’s her SON!!
This is the kind of stuff old folks used to say “grandma’s washing powder won’t get rid of”!!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
10:55 am
disco – I don’t mind it much if it’s just chatting on the phone about stuff. But when it might put me or mine in danger, I’m not getting caught up in the crossfire!
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
10:57 am
This friend doesn’t usually have a lot of drama…just having it now with this psycho ex…
I have some friends who thrive on drama and I keep them at a distance and don’t get involved with it.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
11:02 am
disco ~ I learned quickly enough that cash 3 numbers usually fall in cash 4 and cash 4 numbers usually fall in cash 5. It’s roulette trying to figure out when and what combo. And, some of those winning numbers wind up as the Mega Ball in MegaMillions…just a tip.
kimmie ~ I’m with you re: phone. If I lost it, my world would still be good.
Button
February 8th, 2013
11:05 am
a friend in need is a friend in deed but when that friend comes with drama they need to go find their mama – Button
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
11:06 am
Disco did you see Scandal last night? Must admit I did not see some of that stuff coming. Looks like next week your girl Kerry will be rid of that Farrah Fawcett hairdo, thank goodness!!
disco
February 8th, 2013
11:10 am
kimmie – by the time scandal came on I was on my third or fourth dream sequence. I knew I couldn’t stay up that late. I’ll have to catch it online over the weekend.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
11:12 am
kimmie ~ I knew if Fitz turned around, it was a done deal! Sho nuf…lot’s of twists and turns, but one thing I know for sure is I have never heard a human baby cry the way that baby cried. Where on Earth (rather Mars) did they get that recorded cry from. Sounded like the cry of Rosemary’s Baby!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
11:13 am
One last post, cause I just found out an exec will be in here with me in a few minutes….
I KNEW the president was gonna kill her when he walked to the door and paused….I KNEW IT….OOOOOmagosh!!!
I’m soooooo SICK of Kerry crying and giving the prune face. The only time she’s smiled is when the POTUS was putting it on here….lololol
Okay, I can only lurk from here…I think…I hope
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
11:17 am
Cel – My hubs came in when prez was standing over the bed and he called it!! He said he’s seen that look too many times!LOL My mouth was wide-open!!!
This is a quote everyone is tripping on:
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said coldly to her. “Screwing your mistress is one thing, but marrying her? That’s political suicide, really.”
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
11:18 am
Dern it!! he just walked in and sitting right next to me. I’m only typing cause he’s looking at his phone.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
11:19 am
Kimmie – Yep and yep!!! okay gotta go
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
11:19 am
Leggs/Cel – What tripped me out was when she pulled out that bottle of wine in the office!!LOL!!!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
11:23 am
Celisea ~ I knew if he didn’t open the door and walk out, she was toast.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
11:25 am
Anybody know the exact date of the finale…i have some planning to do.
kimmie ~ I laughed too.
disco
February 8th, 2013
11:43 am
marco…
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
11:48 am
POLO
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
11:49 am
Polo!
Man…I’m just starting to read the manifesto from that crazy ex LAPD cop that’s going around killing people…
disco
February 8th, 2013
11:50 am
whew. I was starting to feel lonely y’all.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
12:01 pm
Anybody doing anything fun this weekend or going anywhere fun?
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
12:04 pm
I plan to relax all weekend!!! Spent too much money and had too much fun in Memphis last week!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
12:05 pm
Hmmmm
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
12:06 pm
Disco..are working?
disco
February 8th, 2013
12:07 pm
leggs – heck naw I don’t have any plans. now that’s not to say I’m going to sit home doing nothing because I absolutely refuse to do that but I will be winging it this weekend. I discovered a greek restaurant last weekend with some slamming pita bread. I may go there for lunch over the weekend.
Elijah ( Dirty Burds Rise-Up)
February 8th, 2013
12:23 pm
Good Afternoon!
I have to say I have been truly blessed, the only drama I have dealt with is my own drama and I usually clip that in the bud quickly. I know how to eliminate the drama.
Regarding the topic of day. Your pictures go into the safe/vault. You will not get an passwords from me, don’t even ask.
I have a 2 co-workers who received a package picture from a guy and they passed the picture around to all the ladies in the office. One was impress, he got it that weekend!
@BluzGirl… Your Friend need to go to the police file a report,then find his moma a place to stay a.s.a.p;.
Now that I have given you solid advice, let me take care of your partying needs this weekend!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
12:27 pm
One was impress, he got it that weekend! – He got it from who. The one he sent the pics too or the one she had a viewing party with (lol).
I hope no one takes it upon themselves to send me a package pic I’m getting to know better. We couldn’t move further.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
12:28 pm
Elijah ~ why don’t you just stick with your regular moniker we all know you by? Why you trying to be deceitful with your bloggees…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
12:30 pm
Dirty – I have no partying needs this weekend! I just wanna watch movies!!!
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
12:31 pm
I too have received random package pics….maybe two in my lifetime. lol
disco
February 8th, 2013
12:32 pm
leggs – while I agree that a package pic is in poor taste I’ll admit that I’d probably only be offended if I really, really wasn’t feeling dude. if I was feeling him then the package pic could help determine if he’s a yea or a nay.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
12:32 pm
Question: If you’re married, do you think it’s wrong for your spouse to go to a strip club?
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
12:34 pm
We’re taking a break and the exec is gone
Yaaaay, so I’m back to lurking.
Leggs – We he was walking towards the door and he paused, I thought “ut oh.” I’m tripping off of him smoozing back up to his wife (even though that was subsequent to him learning it wasn’t her that tried to kill him), while asking Olivia to promise to wait for him. Men, I tell you!!! lol
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
12:37 pm
I am loving this cold Neemo storm that’s coming. Its too too bad that it ain’t snowing in these parts.
I luv me some snuggle with roast,tea and cookies
disco
February 8th, 2013
12:39 pm
slim – I understand that a lot of folks are totally against spouses frequenting strip clubs. me, I don’t mind until and unless it starts messing up the money. I wish dude would come up short on a bill because he got a little tip happy at the club.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
12:50 pm
disco – I was asking because of what Steve Harvey was saying this morning with regard to the Strawberry Letter. He said if you’re married, going to a strip club is Single person’s behavior and therefore, is disrespectful.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
12:51 pm
disco – I personally, would not have an issue with it unless it was a very frequent thing…or like you said, cutting into the funds.
disco
February 8th, 2013
12:52 pm
slim – (eye roll) well you know how I feel about what steve Harvey says. lol. still I’ve heard many women whine and complain about husbands going to strip clubs or watching dirty movies or what have you. personally I don’t see the big deal. those chicks ought to be happy if that’s all he’s doing. still to each his own. if it’s not their thing, it’s not their thing.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
12:53 pm
disco ~ since you’ve never seen his pkg how will you know the pkg is his. I wouldn’t put anything pass a man.
Celisea ~ he had a lot of nerve asking her to wait for him. Typical, greedy, selfish man! He’s not going to marry his mistress, but he wants her around when he has time for her. Classic (lol).
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
12:53 pm
Why would it be wrong unless he leaves his matrimonial money and matrimonial juices there as well,with the strippers that is.
Actually,if going to the strip joint ramps him up for the job at home even better.
A lot of married chics are extremely territorial,as they should and rightly know that emptying his sack plus feeding him(real food here ladies_aka,belly) is one way to please a man.
But ofcourse some females are just insecure like that and want their man restricted left right,u name it. That actually makes a man wanna look elsewhere,get curious.
You cage a bull,it’s your fault if he breaks loose.
Dirty Burds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
12:54 pm
@Relax Leggs…Blog monitor don’t mean anything. I am just have fun as usually.
I am going to use Dirty Bird because BluzGirl likes to call me Dirty! BluzGirl once I get to know you then I wll bring the movies over with dinner… Don’t be scared, I’ll be good to you!
@Slim-Nu…A husband going to strip club can be harmless, now if he goes every week, then you have a problem Houston..
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
12:55 pm
Leggs – Mmmm hmmm, he’s tripping for real. I hope she tells him to kick rocks. I can’t lie though, I’m loving that animal attraction between them two. Naturally it would be forbidden.
disco
February 8th, 2013
1:00 pm
Leggs – no. I wouldn’t know if it was his but I would definitely confirm. lol. I’ve learned my lesson about fellas who undress in the dark.
celisea – without having seen last night’s episode I have to say I’m not really checking for their relationship all that much. maybe if they’d picked a hotter/sexier actor to play the president but dude is just so plain and regular looking. he ain’t hitting on nothing physically. and if the “power” of his being president is the turn on, in my opinion, he’s just powerful in title. he’s really not all that.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
1:02 pm
Going to a strip club is single man behavior, but I don’t think I’d have a problem with it every once in a while. In fact…I’d probably join him!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:05 pm
So u insist on eyeballing it when he undresses…I guess guestimatibg the stats
…and in the light?
@Disco
U funny Disco
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
1:06 pm
You know, I’ve alway been one that said going to the strip club is something that’s not a big deal to me, of course within reason. But being older, my biggest issue is that grown men still going? Whatcha going for. By the time you’re 40, you should be use to looking as tail, tail shaking, sniffing tail, wanting tail, etc etc etc. Not saying if it’s something with their boys for a weekend, but if you ain’t 20 something or early 30 something, whatch going for? Get over it already.
Also, I would take issue with someone taking the household money for that kind of stuff. Your money? Cool, spend away, but being married and having a household, naw I got an issue with the money going towards any woman other than me, the woman of the house/family. I’m just amazed how some folks (men and women alike), seems stuck or hung up in a time warp or something. Shouldn’t a person’s taste change in and over time?
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
1:07 pm
Dirty – I call you that cause that’s how I know you! I don’t remember an “Elijah” and I’m assuming that you were here in the past. Correct me if I’m wrong…
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
1:07 pm
disco – I figured the mere mention of SH would get at least ONE eye roll
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:08 pm
Good job Bluz
it’s just like watching tv porn together
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
1:09 pm
disco – Funny you say that cause each time they get a minute to get ahem intimate or on the brinks of, as you say, “I’m checking to see if he can roll and put it on her like a brother.” Not saying nonblacks can’t but I’on know, I just know black men “take charge” and become all encompassing. Shoot you get sucked in by just their take charge attitude. I’m looking like hmmmm, does he know how to handle a black woman??? lololol Like I said, not saying other men can’t, I just know how black men (I’ve been with), do and get down. Sort of like, is he gonna be a square of lame and be scared to go get it??? lolololol
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
1:13 pm
“Elijah” ain’t never went nowhere. He’s been here all along. My guess is, as more than one. I can’t talk too much around that, folks start tryna make you look like you’re crazy. Shoot, I’m guessing the owner of the “Elijah” moniker owns more than just Dirty Bird and Elijah, but hey what do I know….or care really. If that’s what it takes to spice the blog or move it along, (he/she believes), I say have at it….lolololol
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:15 pm
Cel…everything with moderation.
I haven’t gone in years but she wouldn’t stop me if I wanted to.
Actually,porn is cheaper on television and we watch together.
There is nothing old or young about puddy!
Puddy is timeless!
That’s why old relationship/couples drift apart(Al and Tipper etc ) when old coz older women have a tendency to shove spice to the left. Big mistake.
The older she gets the more a married woman must re-invent herself coz the man gets frustrated if she don’t.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
1:18 pm
Yes, it is timeless, but paying someone to watch them shake their t & a, IMO would take a shift in priorities and how household money should be spent. Of course, I’m a woman so again, what do I know? I’m thinking like a woman and not like a man…..like Daddy Steve Harvey says we should….lolololol
Okay, back to lurking. I’m suppose to be watching a film that’s on the screen
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:25 pm
See if the being spend on shake_bootey is money is major,even myself,I wld have issue with that. Coz I have heard if lots of American men who actually go and get dinner in there and do stuff. Miss me with that rapper foolish nonsense
But some spice eve now and then is good for a hubby coz u don’t want him caged only to bolt out later outa sexual frustration coz ur azz ain’t spicing things up.
He may go for good!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:26 pm
If the money being
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
1:31 pm
Elijah, I’m relaxed. Was simply asking why you keep changing your monikers. It takes a minute, but most figure out its you. Nothing more, nothing less.
I wouldn’t have a problem with my husband going to the strip club, but I’ll probably have a problem having a husband (lol).
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
1:31 pm
Hmm going to a strip club is single man behavior, I guess I have a lot of catching up to do to my married friends.
MsAtl
February 8th, 2013
1:34 pm
Good afternoon All!
I don’t do the sexting, videotape, photograph thing; you can take a picture in your mind. I do not trust anyone enough to allow them to make an intimate videotape of me. I know you don’t go into relationships with thoughts of “what if we broke up” but the reality of it is that there is no guarantee.
I have personally seen people busted by having an explicit tape posted on FB. Of course, FB took it down, but not before numerous people (including me) had seen it. I have also seen nude photos from a “private” FB page flashed around in a court case. Nope, won’t be me…
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:35 pm
How bout a boyfriend then
@Leggs
cba
February 8th, 2013
1:42 pm
In the late 80’s I worked with these guys who would frequent the gold club. We were all in our early 30’s, married less than 10 yrs and fathers. I asked why they tortured themselves to see naked women that they could only look AT. They said there wives benefited when they got home….hmm. You tell me you need a strange naked woman to get you jaked to make love to your wife?? What if she needed t he same to get jaked for you?? My thing is, when I’m in the presence of a naked woman, if I can’t kiss, lick and stick it, what’s the point. LOL They always say, I over analyze things. BTW, two of three of those guys later got divorced and remarried. Unfortunately one passed last year.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
1:45 pm
I know CC or Poppa Grande isn’t in here but I have a friend that recently bought a car at a used car lot. They didn’t have munch cash for a down payment so they used had their taxes filed thought the car lot to serve for the down payment. However, this week they finally got the check of what was left of their refund to be deposited into their account. They go to try to withdraw funds, after thinking it’s posted to their account and they were told the check was counterfeit by the car lots own bank…something about the signature was forged of the accountant. So now my friends account has been put on hold and of course now have no access to this money. She went to the car lot and told them they gave her a fake check and the dude told her he was going to call the cops if she didn’t stop cursing or whatever. There HAS to be something that can be done right? Anyone have any ideas?
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:48 pm
@cba..for me,I get nauseated seeing puddy All the damn time..I get disinterested daily quickly.
Strip club were novel when I first came to the states but soon realized they were for suckers…if u get sucked in it’s u losing money anyway.
I don’t mind going infrequently but as a regular pass time?
No way.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
1:50 pm
Ex ~ I don’t have a problem with him going. However, I wouldn’t want him to be going every week. Moderation is key and I’d like to hope he brings all that heat he’s carrying back to me!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:52 pm
Lol @Slim
tell me you don’t go to the same group Bluz go? Lol
Why u gotta file taxes at the chop shop or BuyherePayHere lot?
She just needs to call the cops…the cops and the chop shop can settle that issue.
Con folks luv desperate folks
Classical example!
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
1:53 pm
Ex – Naw, not the same group as Bluz…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:09 pm
Dang Slim…That really stinks for your friend. I would suggest calling the cops and reporting the dealership. I hate it when people with poor credit go to small car lots to buy a car. Your friend probably got charged an arm and a leg for the car too. I wish people would go to a credit union first…
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:09 pm
celisea – in a man’s defense, maybe the women at the club look much better than wifey at home. that’s not to say he doesn’t love wifey but there’s no harm in looking at something that he obviously thinks looks good. I can’t imagine dudes are investing time and money on strippers they don’t find at least reasonably attractive. if they are, then those particular men (and their women at home) have an even bigger issue to deal with.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:10 pm
Definitely report them to the BBB.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:11 pm
Ex ~ wasn’t sure if I read that right in that they filed their taxes with the car lot. Never heard of such a thing.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:13 pm
Afternoon Peeps….. Whats good?????
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:15 pm
leggs – girl yes. that hustle has been around for a minute. they know folks be out to get cars with their income tax money. a lot of the dealerships offer your refund amount plus a little something “extra” towards the car. this ties in to our dealbreaker conversations when I say I can’t get with a bankruptcy guy. bk because of a terminal illness and outstanding medical bills? maybe. bk because you didn’t read the fine print? I don’t think so.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:18 pm
Slim tell her to call one of the investigative reporters at the TV station.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:19 pm
disco – “In a man’s defense.” Okay now disco, Imma start calling foul on you and always defending the men’s team. lolololol Mmmm hmmm
I disagree
If the woman ain’t as “up to par” as the stripper on the pole, like due to time and aging, ummm the man more than likely ain’t all that great to look at either. IJS and lol And if it’s not an “aging”, getting older issue, then he knew what he married when he married.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:19 pm
Disco, what if he’s cleared his bankruptcy?
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:20 pm
Strip clubs – I would not have a problem every once in awhile, say for a bachelor party or something, but not all the time. I’m kinda thinking like Cel tho, look like after a point it would get old. I’m not interested at all in going with him. Heck, I have gone with friends to see men strip maybe 3 times in my life, 2 for a bachelorette party. It was fun, but I don’t need to go again.
There was this guy I went to college with that went every single week. A guy I was dating at the time attended grad school with him and told me he talked to him and it seeemed like he was obsessed with going to strip clubs. He had a beautiful wife too. They eventually got divorced, tho I don’t know to what degree going to the strip club played a part in it. Both he & wifey were making bank though, so I don’t know how it affected the household finances.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
2:21 pm
LEggs/Exiled – I had never heard of filing taxes at a car lot for the purpose of a down payment either…but I guess with this economy, folks get really creative in ways to make money. Plus, for the most part, tax money is a pretty sure fire deal.
SH – I told her to call the police and the new station.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:23 pm
Stay away from shady deals. If you can’t do, afford or purchase at the time, it’s best to save and wait. Sometimes that’s a long time but then you won’t have the fallout of getting burned.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
Enter your comments here
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
Exiled – Do you think it’s only on the wife to keep things spicy at home? You know, we get a little bored too.
Disco – In a woman’s defense, those same hubs might not look so great their dam selves!LOL! I mean, it might be nice to check out some six packs and not have to look at that pot belly for a little while!! Just sayin
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
celisea – that’s just it. it may not be due to time and aging. maybe dude just couldn’t pull a “hot” chick. lol. maybe he knows that the typical stripper type will always be out of his league. again, it doesn’t take away from the love at home. ijs.
s/h – I probably still wouldn’t like it. I’d be more willing to date cleared bk guy that current bk guy but I probably still wouldn’t like it.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:26 pm
Slim all she’s probably going to get from the cops is that it’s civil. this has nothing to do with the economy, it’s been around for decades.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:27 pm
kimmie – I thought of responding to cba with “see my post to celisea”. it works both ways. I’m sure some chicks have gone to male reviews and got themselves all hot and bothered only to go home and put on their regular average joe hubby.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:28 pm
Disco, what about double BK guy (LOL) they’ve both cleared and he now has great credit.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:31 pm
Slim – That’s not an “economy” thing, that shady stuff has been going on since forever, like Disco said. I’m not downing you at all, but seems like everyone loves to use “the economy” as an excuse for everything these days, when 9 times out of 10, you were shady/lazy/irresponsible/bad with money/underskilled/unemployed/etc when the economy was booming!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:31 pm
disco – Again, not really sure where you’re pulling from because you’re a woman…lol But, not buying that. What you married, you married. You saw, spent time, (no doubt) experienced before you got married. Flipping the script is not a reason. I already know there’s someone more handsome than my boo and someone much finer than me. But we chose one another. To have wondering eyes (and going to a strip club is not really “wondering” eyes, per se), though ain’t exactly acceptable. And telling “all cause she was cuter”, ain’t either. Like I said, when we chose mates and make choices, hopefully we’re mature enough to know you’re head can’t always turn for “someone better.” If that’s the case, don’t chose, stay alone. Also, please be all that and a bag of chips if that’s your attitude. If you ain’t all that and a bag a chips yourself, then naw, you can’t afford to go there.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:32 pm
s/h – shut up.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:32 pm
On the going to a strip club on the regular is a problem, is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours?
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
2:33 pm
@Celisea you make a good point at some time going to the strip club should a thing of the past as you get older. In the caucasian strip clubs you get a lot of business men who frequent the club on a regular basis. When I was in sales we used to go 1 to 2 times a month during lunch.
@Disco…So if a guy files bankruptcy on his business, how do you look at that? Many folks have filed bankruptcy and recovered big time.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:33 pm
There have been many shady tax preparers in Georgia as reported in the ajc some jailed
Be careful
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:34 pm
C – that’s just it. you are reading way more into it. being all emotional. making it about the attachment to the person. everybody isn’t a dime. everybody doesn’t get to marry a dime (not even other dimes – and I know dime is relative so no one has to go there). even if they are the love of your life the truth is they may or may not be they “physical” person of your dreams. if someone wants to go have a few drinks and look at a dime from time to time, where’s the harm in that?
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
Disco, all jokes aside, why would someone even tell you they’ve went bankrupt if it’s cleared, and would you be upset if you found out later?
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
That’s an excellent suggestion, Single. Surprised I didn’t think of that. I’m always telling someone to call the A-Team (ABC News).
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
Not trying to blame everything on the economy but desperate times, at times cause for desperate measures…and you’re both right, sleeze bags have been around since the beginning of time. I just know I couldn’t sleep at night knowing I purposefully got over on someone else or jipped them out of money. But some folks don’t have that voice turned up…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:37 pm
S/H – Maybe church? LOL!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:38 pm
Dirty – Yeah, that’s a booming business and I guess, being a woman, I’ll never understand or “get” those dudes that frequent. Well, let me back up…those dudes that frequent and “just watch.” I mean, I don’t get the dudes that spend money cause I say it’s always easier for a man to land a woman then a woman to land a man. But if you’re married or in a relationship, I’m hoping there’s more going on as it relates to “relating” aside from having sex. I’m hoping vibing and jiving will replace an appetite for just watching someone slang and hang on a pole. I mean, honestly there’s no real depth to that. That’s just sex. And everybody wants something more solid than just a few ooooh, OOOOOs and aaaaahhhhs. Of course that’s just me and my opinionated opinion
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:39 pm
‘ 9 times out of 10, you were shady/lazy/irresponsible/bad with money/underskilled/unemployed/etc when the economy was booming!’
Damn…..If dude has it that bad, he should drive his buy here pay here car right off the top of Spagetti Junction…
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:39 pm
Disco – I’m just clowning really. Cause I would be willing to bet in more cases than not, both the strippers and the wives would beat the men in the looks department. You right, they are probably the guys that could never pull the really hot chicks, or even the cute girls that were a little wild.
The dude I referred to in my 2:20 – while he had a cute girlfriend in college and a beautiful wife, he was hands down nothing to look at, not even in his younger days. But he was tall and came from a fairly wealthy family, and he was smart and made bank for himself, so he was able to work all that in his favor. But looks – oh no!
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:40 pm
I’ve been a loan officer for about 10 years now and it really hurts my feelings when people go out there and get ripped off and then come to me for help and I can’t help them. I had thought about doing loans at a car dealership, but I was told by several car people I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because you really have to screw people out of money. I just wish more people would educate themselves before going out to buy a car…
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:40 pm
Bluz why church?? (like I didn’t see that one coming) they’re still not at home with you where they should be!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
2:41 pm
@Celisea…So if your husband is invited to a bachelor party by his relative, best friend and strippers are going to be there should he decline because he is married and over 40 years?
@Disco..What is the hang-up with Bankruptcy?
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:41 pm
disco – I believe I said every now and then I wouldn’t take issue witht hat. And more so if it’s your own money. I went on further to say, if someone is taking money from the household (i.e. being married), I’d have a problem. A dime piece on a pole over and above the maintenance of my household
Ummm, not!! I think though, that’s when you started asking questions.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:42 pm
Slim – You got a conscience, sister, I do too. Could not sleep!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:44 pm
Kimmie I only said that as it relate to the man wanting to go…
Women with boring husbands,I wld bet get frustrated too.
Spice inthe bedroom is very Important ESP as the relationship gets more miles
Missionary All the Damn Time ain’t gon cut it!!
And yes Iam married but if my wide don’t bring it(@ Cel) coz she is secure and married ok she gon be watching lifetime while I’m out there getting spice.
She ain’t gon do rbat I know but that’s what usually happens
Married women get too damn secure
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:45 pm
is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours? – Umm, ummm, I can think of a place….I’m cracking up.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:45 pm
Dirty – I wouldn’t have a problem with a dude going to a bachelor party. We’re talking about men that’s already married and “hanging out” at a strip club. And I’m guessing no one is allowed inside unless you’re going to spend money. So if you’re there more than a few days a week and you’re married, you’re taking from the household. Now you’re banking where you’ve handled your business and this is the expenditure you’re alloted (don’t take that the wrong way), subsequent to everything being handles…I still would take issue, if it’s allllll the time.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:46 pm
S/H – Actually…I think I would have a problem with that also…if we’re in a serious relationship, I would hope we are spending good, quality time together. Hmmm…I may not have a problem if he’s on a sports team and practices and plays during the week. Then again, I would go sometimes.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:46 pm
Wife
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:47 pm
Bluz, now wouldn’t that be the same way alot of people got these houses they couldn’t afford and say its the banks fault??
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:48 pm
is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours?
Single – I don’t know, cause with work and kids and their activities, things to do around the house, and the things he likes to do at home like video games and working out, what else would he have time to go do every week, a few times that week? A married family man? Other than maybe going to the gym if we didn’t have workout equipment at home, I can’t think of anything. We’re not the clingy type of couple that needs to be all up on each other and checking in every 5 minutes, but there just isn’t enough time in the day.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:49 pm
okay leggs, I mean away from home (like you wouldn’t get tired of that too) (LOL)
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:50 pm
Bluz, I was an F&I manager at a car dealer for like 9 years….. I promise you, there are alot of folks that are doing way more conning that car salesman….The truth is that most folks come into dealerships with expectations that are sooooo far out of line that they can’t possibly win. They have no idea about things like how simply intrest works and where and how dealers make money. Everyone wants to pay $250.00 a month and drive a $30k car.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:53 pm
Kimmie, oh the things people can find to do if it’s somewhere they don’t want to be. My point is I would have a problem if my S/O was always finding somewhere else to be than with me. No I don’t want anyone under me all the time, but if 5 evenings out of the week you’re finding something else to do, then that’s a problem.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:55 pm
Court – I sure know that. I have a lot of people who come to me for loans who have beer money and champagne taste!!! It can be a real wake up call!
S/H – Luckily, I have worked for a credit union for 15 years and we didn’t get all caught up in that housing fiasco. When I bought my house almost 2 years ago, I was pre-approved for more than I could afford, but I did my research and looked at my budget and knew what I could afford. Unfortunately, there are too many people who don’t know how to do the research…
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:55 pm
And court don’t forget the forever upside down people!!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:56 pm
now wouldn’t that be the same way alot of people got these houses they couldn’t afford and say its the banks fault??
Single – That’s another example of folks trying to blame “the economy”. You knew you couldn’t afford it, but now it’s somebody elses fault.
I remember when buying my house, I told the realtor and the finance guy how much I was going to pay in a mortgage, period point blank, and I was not going over even tho I qualified for way more house. I had to be able to sleep at night and not be a paycheck away from homeless.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:57 pm
Single – Your 2:53, gotcha and I totally agree!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:57 pm
Got a buddy that is married and his wife is a Delta….. She is super active in her chapter and like 6 or 7 times a month, she has meetings or planning sessions and whatnot to go to… Well when she has her Delta stuff, he goes to the strip club and plays pool and check out the talent while he and the fellas have a couple of beers. When she complains, he tells her that when she grows out of herr college activities, so will he…….
DuShawn
February 8th, 2013
2:58 pm
Typically, men that are regulars at strip clubs have self esteem issues themselves. Only in that club will a beautiful dime piece tell him how handsome he is and sit on his lap, dance, flirt and even let him touch it. It is not about seeing naked women as much as it is about the fantasy world they create. That’s what those men get addicted to. Outside of that environment he is more than likely ignored and invisible. Inside there, he is Denzel Washington…..until his money is gone, then he is back to being invisible.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:59 pm
dirty – I don’t have a hang up. it’s just one of my dating dealbreakers. it’s simply something I don’t want to have to deal with.
C – I put it out there in my first related post that it was all good as long as it didn’t affect my money. so on that note we are on the same page. lol. still, I’m against anything that’s taking “TOO” much money away from my household (strippers, drinking, gambling). shoot that’s why I don’t date men with minor children. child support is taking away from my household. I can’t do it. lol.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:00 pm
Let change the question ladies, what if you SO or husband went to the strip club once a month and he uses his allocated lunch money is that o.k.?
@Disco. A lot of folks have filed for BK during the crisis (I don’t want to say economic crisis Kimmie might jump on me. lol) because they did not want to continue paying for a home that is not worth what the current mortgage is. How would you view that person?
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
Bluz, what research do you have to do. don’t fall for the okie doke, and cry about it later. I had Realtor’s tell me that I would be able to afford 2 to 3 hundred more a month in a few years. Now I never got a raise like that before, why would I think I’m going to get one now??
disco
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
DB – i have to go but i’ll simply call that person a quitter. that’s not a good look. my home value declined. i continued to pay my mortgage and rode it out.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
Single, it was just there for the taking.
Seriously, I’m with kimmie on this one. Why would a married man need to frequent some other place a few times a week. Sure he didn’t marry a part time wife, well neither did she sign up for a part time husband.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:04 pm
Alright, gotta plane to catch….gotta run
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:04 pm
Married women get too damn secure
Exiled – Married men too and you know it. Bottom line, I believe whatever both had to do to get each other, they need to keep it up, or at least make an effort. I’m against either taking the other for granted.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:06 pm
Allocated lunch money?
Okeeeey! Lol
maybe it’s time for another therapist for booteylovers!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:08 pm
Dirty, let me chime in, that’s a pet peeve of mine when people say their home is not worth what they paid for it, SO WHAT if you have a place to stay then what’s your point. I know they say a home is an investment, well you can loose on investments! A home isn’t an ATM machine!
Disco, why would you have to deal with it?
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:09 pm
@Kimmie…see it’s usually U,the married women who drag.
If hubby said let’s go together or let’s change the routine in the bedroom,6 times outa ten it’s the woman that’s slow to evolve.
She just wanna lay,belly Up!
as Usual
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
Kimmie, alot of women, get married, have kids, and forget they have a husband, as far as they are concerned everything is great.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
disco – ha ha ha on the child support comments….funny
byyye!!!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
Court…is he so sure that’s where she’s going?
If she is even voicing discontent,careful with that.
She may have already found an outlet.
Don’t mess with an unhappy woman
She quietly cheats!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:13 pm
Dirty – I’m not talking folks who legitimately were affected by the ECONOMIC crisis, because many were and are. It hit a lot of people, including friends and family. Hubs and I were able to hold onto our jobs, by the grace of God.
But I know people that were sorry as a box of rocks before the crisis hit, but now that is their pat excuse for being sorry. I know folks that had jobs falling from the sky into their laps, they could pick and choose and still did not want to work. Now that the economy is bad, it’s “well I can’t find a job because of the economy”. You never wanted to work to begin with!!
That’s what I’m talking about. And these scammers are just preying on desperate people in a bad situation, like looters after a huricane or riot!!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:13 pm
Dirty – Imma pack your lunch. The allocated lunch money will be for a week’s supply of ham, sandwich bread, snacks, fuit and juice/water/soda. hahahahahahaha
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
S/H – I think it’s important for people to learn about budgeting their money and knowing how much they can afford whether it’s for a house, car, or credit card. When buying a car, go online to find out the MSRP or retail value. I’m amazed at how many people just say “ok” and pay whatever they are told to pay. With a house, there are loan calculators out there that tell you approximate payments for a mortgage. People should talk to their mortgage broker to find out approximate escrow amounts. Why go into huge purchases blindly?
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
@Exiled…You know some men are on that allocated lunch money..
@S/H…Yes you can lose on investments, that is why you get rid of bad investments. Big business do it all the time, they purchase a company at a certain price, the business model does not work they get rid of that business for less than what they paid for it. Consumers should have the same options.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
Exiled/Single – Hey, I’m not crazy. I waited too long to get here to forget!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:17 pm
Kimmie, I know people who were using the economy as an excuse, and they didn’t lose their jobs, in fact many were working more than ever. But still crying about how the economy affect them.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:20 pm
@Celisea…You know I would just deposit my check into your account…
@BluzGirl you sound like a very honest person. I like that. Do you have to belong to the credit union in order to get a mortgage thru your credit union?
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
Dirty – We can both do what we want with our allocations. I say make sure you spend wisely. Some stuff has more long-term costs down the road that the lunch money may not cover!LOL!!
There are just some “single” behaviors that you either give up, put aside or just dabble in occasionally once you get married. It could be strip clubs, night clubs, hanging with the sorors, drnking with the fellas, you name it. If you can’t gladly make the adjustments, stay single, it’s real simple. It’s called being an adult. Not allowing anything to destroy the marriage and family you worked to build.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
@Kimmie I have seen a lot of folks affected as well, but not a lot of folks who did not want to work. BluzGirl is right folks just do not know how to budget. Too many are trying to take care of wants and not needs first.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
Dirty – I’m trying to get out of here….I burst out laughing on that one. oy stop!!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
3:23 pm
“The allocated lunch money will be for a week’s supply of ham, sandwich bread, snacks, fuit and juice/water/soda”
Damn….Does he get to go to recess and play kickball when he is done????
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:23 pm
Single – The users of the economy excuse run the gambit!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:24 pm
Dirty, a house is not an investment, it’s a home somewhere to stay, something you have to have to survive, point blank period so getting rid of a home does not rid you of having that. That’s how folks got all messed up listening to the media about investing in a home. When I first looked into buying a home in the mid 80’s there weren’t any such things as starter homes.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:25 pm
Dirty – Our mortgage company actually deals with several credit unions in GA and you do not have to be a member of any of their credit unions. BUT…you should have a credit union accoun if you don’t already have one!!!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:26 pm
@Kimmie how much are you allocating for your husband strip club outings? lol
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:29 pm
Dirty – I agree with all of that, including folks that don’t know how to budget. That went down well before the economic crisis hit though. Now instead of admitting they didn’t budget or went a little crazy spending on stuff they didn’t need, now it’s the economy’s fault.
As for the jobs thing, I run across it all the time because people send me job announcements all the time and ask me do I know of anyone that needs a job. I do, but they don’t take me up on it, yet they are constantly whining about not being able to find a job. Sure alot might not be the type of job you want, but it beats nothing.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:31 pm
Dirty – He hasn’t asked for one. But as long as we can cover the bills and he can finance his game habit and I can finance my shoe and makeup and jewelry-making habit, we’re good!LOL!!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:33 pm
@S/H…True a house is a place where you live, but since we are spending a tremendous amount of money on the house it is an investment to me. I do and plan to make money whenever I have purchased a home.
@BluzGirl…I already belong to credit union, but I have friends who ask do I know any loan officers or which financial institution would be good to go for a home loan.
I recommend folks who are upfront and honest. Some loan officers do not know how to tell the client no I cannot get this loan for you right now.
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
3:34 pm
I see a lot of white folks with their pre-packed lunch boxes brought from home..a lot…….black folks???? ughh, aaagh,nope,..not so much,they like to buy!
they they compalin that white folks this and that…..reparations and whatnot
lol LOL..
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:37 pm
It’s just nice to be talking to a group of people, such as your blog selves, that know a thing or two about money management and being responsible!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:38 pm
Dirty there’s nothing wrong with that plan, as long as you plan for the other side of it, being that you may not make money off it, and can handle that part of it.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:39 pm
Kimmie I’m broke
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
3:43 pm
saving money, outside of retirement saving,is very hard for me(emergency fund)…..anybody with a good strategy of how i shld do it……
im very generous person too..well,besides being somebody folks depend on……so what a man to do??
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:45 pm
agreeing with ex (argghhh) but people don’t realize how much it cost to eat out everyday.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:46 pm
kimmie – I can say that I’m glad I got this job when I was 18…taught me a LOT about being responsible with my money. I feel for the people who were never taught to even balance a checkbook.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:47 pm
Single – Well at least you’re single & happy & broke!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:47 pm
Ex, until you learn to say no, there isn’t much else to tell you. Because folks going to always have a sob story.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:48 pm
Ex…I’m not able to put aside extra money for savings right now. I will blame the economy for that one! Prices are going up, while pay is staying the same. I’m just happy to be able to pay my bills, buy some groceries, and have a little fun each month. I hope to be able to start saving some money by the end of the year…
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:48 pm
Bluz – You are so right, we are very fortunate in that respect!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:53 pm
Exiled/Single – I had this coworker that has a sorry hubs and is constantly whining about not having any money, even got some managers to feel sorry for her and take up a collection. I did not contribute one dime. Every day she was eating out, and I’m not talking a Happy Meal either! I splurge maybe once a week, and splurging means I may get a $6 lunch, or $10 on payday, otherwise it’s a brown bag/insulated lunch bag for me! That mess adds up! I was a happy camper when one of my sis-in-laws gave me a $15 Subway card for my bday!!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
3:55 pm
I was newly divorced when the economy tanked , raising a child, paying mortgage and other life necessity bills. My concern was not to live above my means. Keep my overhead low and manage my money. Check….
Too many out here trying to impress.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:55 pm
You know it’s odd, being 50, and still using the same things that I was taught in economics class at 18! only paid someone to do my taxes twice, no about interest rates and investments. some I use, some I don’t, but I still know it.
Kimmie, maybe that’s also why I’m single and happy
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
3:59 pm
@Single….i cant say no to mum..thats $300 i could have put in my savings..Dad i can say No by ignoring his calls,especially when i dont have it….i just ignored his two calls in a space of 2 days….when i really have the money for both, i will gladly spend maybe $300 for mum and $200 for Dad, even though i know Dad put himself in that situation,hes still my Dad….
maybe God will take care of me on that score…
I havent had an emrgency though where i really felt financially stranded..granted i can always tap into my 401k at my own tax liablility but still..i think i cant complain too much on account of taking care of parents….Afterall God is supposed to have said (i cant confirm) honor thy mom and pops.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
4:01 pm
I wouldn’t have contributed either. I remember after living in my home about a year, this guy knocks on the door saying he’s taking up a collection for a neighbor on another street to pay this month’s mortgage. I simply told him I have my own mortgage I need to worry about. I was in no mood to be scammed.
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:04 pm
taking up a collection for a neighbor on another street to pay this month’s mortgage
@Leggs…u made me laugh!!
folks go to great lengths to scam….why not just look for a job
real funny!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
4:06 pm
@S/H …Not all of my investments have worked. Infact after the stock market crash in 2007, I lost a bundle. I was scared to get back into the market.
I like Exiled contribute to family causes and it does put a pinch on saving additional money. I had reduce my vacations.
@kimmie I use to work at this office with some temps, whom I know where not getting paid what the full time folks were getting paid. They went out to lunch at least 4 out 5 days and this was during the downturn.
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:07 pm
@Kimmie….its very easy to dave if u bring lunch from home…the same sandwich u want to pay for at subway, u can buy bread at kroger and the meat/beef/chicken etc.
black folks need to stop keeping up with the jones..honestly…
ima going to start building my emergency fund $50 a month..slow like a tortoise but hopefully we get there LOL
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:09 pm
SAVE
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
4:10 pm
Exiled – That’s one of the 10 Commandments, my mom drilled it in our heads!LOL!! I had absolutely no problem honoring them, especially in their time of need. I would gladly do it again. You are blessed to still have them around to honor.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
4:13 pm
Exiled – Heck, the Jones are broke, so why I need to keep up with them?LOL!! But I agree. There is a Costco & a Walmart nearby – we buy up enough to make lunches for us and the kids. I don’t know what we would do if we ate out every day!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
4:14 pm
Ex, Kimmie, that’s a good commandment, but there are some mother’s and father’s that can take advantage of that.
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:15 pm
Thanks Kimmie….blessed I am for sure, i cant take that for granted….my wife sometimes will say, why dont ur brothers do more and i tell her,they answer to God for their own and i answer for my own deeds or misdeeds …….i cant let my parents go without ….if i eat bacon and eggs,they ought to be able to as well….
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:18 pm
Single..my daugher just text me,”daddy can i have Zaxby’s after u pick me up….”
that one i just said NO!, not today, im broke
lol
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
4:18 pm
ex do you do the same for your wife’s parents?
Dirty Birds (Rise Up)
February 8th, 2013
4:20 pm
S/H or they may use the money for others. I know my mom does this. It makes it difficult, but they are your parents.
I need sunny weather this weekend, I need to cut down some trees.
Everyone have a great weekend!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
4:22 pm
Single – I agree, cause I know some folks with very sorry parents. I feel for them, but mine were the absolute BEST! Not perfect, cause no one is, but I seriously could not have asked for better. They both got sick in the end, so they needed my time more than money, but I was happy to give it to them.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
4:23 pm
Have a great weekend gang!!
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:25 pm
Single..Yes….i dont have a problem my wife sending her mum money(her dad is deceased).
But for her siblings, some who are just no gooders,my wifes mum is in a better shape coz she was left with properties from where she gets rentakl money…the dad was more bourgoisee than my parents.
I just promised to retrofit my mom in laws house with solar panels coz electricity is unreliable over there…
u have to (buy the (puddy) Single, if u want her daughter to perform upstairs! lol
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
4:26 pm
good weekend!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
4:29 pm
Dirty, doesn’t make it that difficult for me.
Kimmie, when I think of Honor, I think than I do financially
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
4:32 pm
I mean I think more along those lines than I do financially
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
4:33 pm
Ex, not buying any puddy
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
4:46 pm
Ya’ll have a great weekend! I’m about to get out of here and go veg out on the couch!
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
4:47 pm
Seems like everyone has finished posting so…
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!
P.S. I am so very thankful that blizzard isn’t coming this way.