Dating Ex-files: Are you vulnerable?
So you know that saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, right? What happens when the woman from hell has access to your personal information, social media accounts, or private photos?
According to a study by McAfee (Intel Company), a revengeful ex can leave you vulnerable and exposed. The results of the study showed: “28% of people have regretted (once they broke up) sending intimate content and 32% have asked their ex-partner to delete the personal content. But despite these risks, 36% of Americans still plan to send sexy or romantic photos to their partners via email, text and social media on Valentine’s Day.”
That’s right. Before you get those dirty messages or pictures cued up for Valentine’s Day fun, decide if you really trust the person you are sending it to. Would they ever flip out in a fit of anger and put you on full blast on Facebook? Could you imagine them using the password you gave them (um, don’t do that) to wreak some kind of havoc in your life?
It’s tricky because trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. No one wants to think that their significant other would intentionally hurt them. Trust should be earned. You have to know who you are dealing with. If you have doubts about their character, maybe don’t send them a picture of you in a thong. Just saying!
Have you ever had an ex try to exact revenge on you using your email, photos, or private information you once shared?
The McAfee study also showed that “Over 56% of people surveyed admitted to checking their significant others’ social media pages. People track their ex-partner on Facebook more than they do their current partners.” I admit that I have found at least two exes on Facebook. Well, one found me but I stalked his photos to see if he was happy. Ok, that’s a lie. I wanted to see how fabulous his wife was. Do you ever do this?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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232 comments Add your comment
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:45 pm
is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours? – Umm, ummm, I can think of a place….I’m cracking up.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:45 pm
Dirty – I wouldn’t have a problem with a dude going to a bachelor party. We’re talking about men that’s already married and “hanging out” at a strip club. And I’m guessing no one is allowed inside unless you’re going to spend money. So if you’re there more than a few days a week and you’re married, you’re taking from the household. Now you’re banking where you’ve handled your business and this is the expenditure you’re alloted (don’t take that the wrong way), subsequent to everything being handles…I still would take issue, if it’s allllll the time.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:46 pm
S/H – Actually…I think I would have a problem with that also…if we’re in a serious relationship, I would hope we are spending good, quality time together. Hmmm…I may not have a problem if he’s on a sports team and practices and plays during the week. Then again, I would go sometimes.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:46 pm
Wife
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:47 pm
Bluz, now wouldn’t that be the same way alot of people got these houses they couldn’t afford and say its the banks fault??
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:48 pm
is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours?
Single – I don’t know, cause with work and kids and their activities, things to do around the house, and the things he likes to do at home like video games and working out, what else would he have time to go do every week, a few times that week? A married family man? Other than maybe going to the gym if we didn’t have workout equipment at home, I can’t think of anything. We’re not the clingy type of couple that needs to be all up on each other and checking in every 5 minutes, but there just isn’t enough time in the day.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:49 pm
okay leggs, I mean away from home (like you wouldn’t get tired of that too) (LOL)
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:50 pm
Bluz, I was an F&I manager at a car dealer for like 9 years….. I promise you, there are alot of folks that are doing way more conning that car salesman….The truth is that most folks come into dealerships with expectations that are sooooo far out of line that they can’t possibly win. They have no idea about things like how simply intrest works and where and how dealers make money. Everyone wants to pay $250.00 a month and drive a $30k car.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:53 pm
Kimmie, oh the things people can find to do if it’s somewhere they don’t want to be. My point is I would have a problem if my S/O was always finding somewhere else to be than with me. No I don’t want anyone under me all the time, but if 5 evenings out of the week you’re finding something else to do, then that’s a problem.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:55 pm
Court – I sure know that. I have a lot of people who come to me for loans who have beer money and champagne taste!!! It can be a real wake up call!
S/H – Luckily, I have worked for a credit union for 15 years and we didn’t get all caught up in that housing fiasco. When I bought my house almost 2 years ago, I was pre-approved for more than I could afford, but I did my research and looked at my budget and knew what I could afford. Unfortunately, there are too many people who don’t know how to do the research…
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:55 pm
And court don’t forget the forever upside down people!!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:56 pm
now wouldn’t that be the same way alot of people got these houses they couldn’t afford and say its the banks fault??
Single – That’s another example of folks trying to blame “the economy”. You knew you couldn’t afford it, but now it’s somebody elses fault.
I remember when buying my house, I told the realtor and the finance guy how much I was going to pay in a mortgage, period point blank, and I was not going over even tho I qualified for way more house. I had to be able to sleep at night and not be a paycheck away from homeless.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:57 pm
Single – Your 2:53, gotcha and I totally agree!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:57 pm
Got a buddy that is married and his wife is a Delta….. She is super active in her chapter and like 6 or 7 times a month, she has meetings or planning sessions and whatnot to go to… Well when she has her Delta stuff, he goes to the strip club and plays pool and check out the talent while he and the fellas have a couple of beers. When she complains, he tells her that when she grows out of herr college activities, so will he…….
DuShawn
February 8th, 2013
2:58 pm
Typically, men that are regulars at strip clubs have self esteem issues themselves. Only in that club will a beautiful dime piece tell him how handsome he is and sit on his lap, dance, flirt and even let him touch it. It is not about seeing naked women as much as it is about the fantasy world they create. That’s what those men get addicted to. Outside of that environment he is more than likely ignored and invisible. Inside there, he is Denzel Washington…..until his money is gone, then he is back to being invisible.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:59 pm
dirty – I don’t have a hang up. it’s just one of my dating dealbreakers. it’s simply something I don’t want to have to deal with.
C – I put it out there in my first related post that it was all good as long as it didn’t affect my money. so on that note we are on the same page. lol. still, I’m against anything that’s taking “TOO” much money away from my household (strippers, drinking, gambling). shoot that’s why I don’t date men with minor children. child support is taking away from my household. I can’t do it. lol.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:00 pm
Let change the question ladies, what if you SO or husband went to the strip club once a month and he uses his allocated lunch money is that o.k.?
@Disco. A lot of folks have filed for BK during the crisis (I don’t want to say economic crisis Kimmie might jump on me. lol) because they did not want to continue paying for a home that is not worth what the current mortgage is. How would you view that person?
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
Bluz, what research do you have to do. don’t fall for the okie doke, and cry about it later. I had Realtor’s tell me that I would be able to afford 2 to 3 hundred more a month in a few years. Now I never got a raise like that before, why would I think I’m going to get one now??
disco
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
DB – i have to go but i’ll simply call that person a quitter. that’s not a good look. my home value declined. i continued to pay my mortgage and rode it out.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
3:03 pm
Single, it was just there for the taking.
Seriously, I’m with kimmie on this one. Why would a married man need to frequent some other place a few times a week. Sure he didn’t marry a part time wife, well neither did she sign up for a part time husband.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:04 pm
Alright, gotta plane to catch….gotta run
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:04 pm
Married women get too damn secure
Exiled – Married men too and you know it. Bottom line, I believe whatever both had to do to get each other, they need to keep it up, or at least make an effort. I’m against either taking the other for granted.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:06 pm
Allocated lunch money?
Okeeeey! Lol
maybe it’s time for another therapist for booteylovers!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:08 pm
Dirty, let me chime in, that’s a pet peeve of mine when people say their home is not worth what they paid for it, SO WHAT if you have a place to stay then what’s your point. I know they say a home is an investment, well you can loose on investments! A home isn’t an ATM machine!
Disco, why would you have to deal with it?
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:09 pm
@Kimmie…see it’s usually U,the married women who drag.
If hubby said let’s go together or let’s change the routine in the bedroom,6 times outa ten it’s the woman that’s slow to evolve.
She just wanna lay,belly Up!
as Usual
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
Kimmie, alot of women, get married, have kids, and forget they have a husband, as far as they are concerned everything is great.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
disco – ha ha ha on the child support comments….funny
byyye!!!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
3:12 pm
Court…is he so sure that’s where she’s going?
If she is even voicing discontent,careful with that.
She may have already found an outlet.
Don’t mess with an unhappy woman
She quietly cheats!
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:13 pm
Dirty – I’m not talking folks who legitimately were affected by the ECONOMIC crisis, because many were and are. It hit a lot of people, including friends and family. Hubs and I were able to hold onto our jobs, by the grace of God.
But I know people that were sorry as a box of rocks before the crisis hit, but now that is their pat excuse for being sorry. I know folks that had jobs falling from the sky into their laps, they could pick and choose and still did not want to work. Now that the economy is bad, it’s “well I can’t find a job because of the economy”. You never wanted to work to begin with!!
That’s what I’m talking about. And these scammers are just preying on desperate people in a bad situation, like looters after a huricane or riot!!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:13 pm
Dirty – Imma pack your lunch. The allocated lunch money will be for a week’s supply of ham, sandwich bread, snacks, fuit and juice/water/soda. hahahahahahaha
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
S/H – I think it’s important for people to learn about budgeting their money and knowing how much they can afford whether it’s for a house, car, or credit card. When buying a car, go online to find out the MSRP or retail value. I’m amazed at how many people just say “ok” and pay whatever they are told to pay. With a house, there are loan calculators out there that tell you approximate payments for a mortgage. People should talk to their mortgage broker to find out approximate escrow amounts. Why go into huge purchases blindly?
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
@Exiled…You know some men are on that allocated lunch money..
@S/H…Yes you can lose on investments, that is why you get rid of bad investments. Big business do it all the time, they purchase a company at a certain price, the business model does not work they get rid of that business for less than what they paid for it. Consumers should have the same options.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:14 pm
Exiled/Single – Hey, I’m not crazy. I waited too long to get here to forget!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:17 pm
Kimmie, I know people who were using the economy as an excuse, and they didn’t lose their jobs, in fact many were working more than ever. But still crying about how the economy affect them.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:20 pm
@Celisea…You know I would just deposit my check into your account…
@BluzGirl you sound like a very honest person. I like that. Do you have to belong to the credit union in order to get a mortgage thru your credit union?
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
Dirty – We can both do what we want with our allocations. I say make sure you spend wisely. Some stuff has more long-term costs down the road that the lunch money may not cover!LOL!!
There are just some “single” behaviors that you either give up, put aside or just dabble in occasionally once you get married. It could be strip clubs, night clubs, hanging with the sorors, drnking with the fellas, you name it. If you can’t gladly make the adjustments, stay single, it’s real simple. It’s called being an adult. Not allowing anything to destroy the marriage and family you worked to build.
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
@Kimmie I have seen a lot of folks affected as well, but not a lot of folks who did not want to work. BluzGirl is right folks just do not know how to budget. Too many are trying to take care of wants and not needs first.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
3:22 pm
Dirty – I’m trying to get out of here….I burst out laughing on that one. oy stop!!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
3:23 pm
“The allocated lunch money will be for a week’s supply of ham, sandwich bread, snacks, fuit and juice/water/soda”
Damn….Does he get to go to recess and play kickball when he is done????
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:23 pm
Single – The users of the economy excuse run the gambit!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:24 pm
Dirty, a house is not an investment, it’s a home somewhere to stay, something you have to have to survive, point blank period so getting rid of a home does not rid you of having that. That’s how folks got all messed up listening to the media about investing in a home. When I first looked into buying a home in the mid 80’s there weren’t any such things as starter homes.
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
3:25 pm
Dirty – Our mortgage company actually deals with several credit unions in GA and you do not have to be a member of any of their credit unions. BUT…you should have a credit union accoun if you don’t already have one!!!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:26 pm
@Kimmie how much are you allocating for your husband strip club outings? lol
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:29 pm
Dirty – I agree with all of that, including folks that don’t know how to budget. That went down well before the economic crisis hit though. Now instead of admitting they didn’t budget or went a little crazy spending on stuff they didn’t need, now it’s the economy’s fault.
As for the jobs thing, I run across it all the time because people send me job announcements all the time and ask me do I know of anyone that needs a job. I do, but they don’t take me up on it, yet they are constantly whining about not being able to find a job. Sure alot might not be the type of job you want, but it beats nothing.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:31 pm
Dirty – He hasn’t asked for one. But as long as we can cover the bills and he can finance his game habit and I can finance my shoe and makeup and jewelry-making habit, we’re good!LOL!!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
3:33 pm
@S/H…True a house is a place where you live, but since we are spending a tremendous amount of money on the house it is an investment to me. I do and plan to make money whenever I have purchased a home.
@BluzGirl…I already belong to credit union, but I have friends who ask do I know any loan officers or which financial institution would be good to go for a home loan.
I recommend folks who are upfront and honest. Some loan officers do not know how to tell the client no I cannot get this loan for you right now.
Exiled
February 8th, 2013
3:34 pm
I see a lot of white folks with their pre-packed lunch boxes brought from home..a lot…….black folks???? ughh, aaagh,nope,..not so much,they like to buy!
they they compalin that white folks this and that…..reparations and whatnot
lol LOL..
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
3:37 pm
It’s just nice to be talking to a group of people, such as your blog selves, that know a thing or two about money management and being responsible!
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:38 pm
Dirty there’s nothing wrong with that plan, as long as you plan for the other side of it, being that you may not make money off it, and can handle that part of it.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
3:39 pm
Kimmie I’m broke