Dating Ex-files: Are you vulnerable?
So you know that saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, right? What happens when the woman from hell has access to your personal information, social media accounts, or private photos?
According to a study by McAfee (Intel Company), a revengeful ex can leave you vulnerable and exposed. The results of the study showed: “28% of people have regretted (once they broke up) sending intimate content and 32% have asked their ex-partner to delete the personal content. But despite these risks, 36% of Americans still plan to send sexy or romantic photos to their partners via email, text and social media on Valentine’s Day.”
That’s right. Before you get those dirty messages or pictures cued up for Valentine’s Day fun, decide if you really trust the person you are sending it to. Would they ever flip out in a fit of anger and put you on full blast on Facebook? Could you imagine them using the password you gave them (um, don’t do that) to wreak some kind of havoc in your life?
It’s tricky because trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. No one wants to think that their significant other would intentionally hurt them. Trust should be earned. You have to know who you are dealing with. If you have doubts about their character, maybe don’t send them a picture of you in a thong. Just saying!
Have you ever had an ex try to exact revenge on you using your email, photos, or private information you once shared?
The McAfee study also showed that “Over 56% of people surveyed admitted to checking their significant others’ social media pages. People track their ex-partner on Facebook more than they do their current partners.” I admit that I have found at least two exes on Facebook. Well, one found me but I stalked his photos to see if he was happy. Ok, that’s a lie. I wanted to see how fabulous his wife was. Do you ever do this?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
232 comments Add your comment
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:25 pm
See if the being spend on shake_bootey is money is major,even myself,I wld have issue with that. Coz I have heard if lots of American men who actually go and get dinner in there and do stuff. Miss me with that rapper foolish nonsense
But some spice eve now and then is good for a hubby coz u don’t want him caged only to bolt out later outa sexual frustration coz ur azz ain’t spicing things up.
He may go for good!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:26 pm
If the money being
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
1:31 pm
Elijah, I’m relaxed. Was simply asking why you keep changing your monikers. It takes a minute, but most figure out its you. Nothing more, nothing less.
I wouldn’t have a problem with my husband going to the strip club, but I’ll probably have a problem having a husband (lol).
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
1:31 pm
Hmm going to a strip club is single man behavior, I guess I have a lot of catching up to do to my married friends.
MsAtl
February 8th, 2013
1:34 pm
Good afternoon All!
I don’t do the sexting, videotape, photograph thing; you can take a picture in your mind. I do not trust anyone enough to allow them to make an intimate videotape of me. I know you don’t go into relationships with thoughts of “what if we broke up” but the reality of it is that there is no guarantee.
I have personally seen people busted by having an explicit tape posted on FB. Of course, FB took it down, but not before numerous people (including me) had seen it. I have also seen nude photos from a “private” FB page flashed around in a court case. Nope, won’t be me…
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:35 pm
How bout a boyfriend then
@Leggs
cba
February 8th, 2013
1:42 pm
In the late 80’s I worked with these guys who would frequent the gold club. We were all in our early 30’s, married less than 10 yrs and fathers. I asked why they tortured themselves to see naked women that they could only look AT. They said there wives benefited when they got home….hmm. You tell me you need a strange naked woman to get you jaked to make love to your wife?? What if she needed t he same to get jaked for you?? My thing is, when I’m in the presence of a naked woman, if I can’t kiss, lick and stick it, what’s the point. LOL They always say, I over analyze things. BTW, two of three of those guys later got divorced and remarried. Unfortunately one passed last year.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
1:45 pm
I know CC or Poppa Grande isn’t in here but I have a friend that recently bought a car at a used car lot. They didn’t have munch cash for a down payment so they used had their taxes filed thought the car lot to serve for the down payment. However, this week they finally got the check of what was left of their refund to be deposited into their account. They go to try to withdraw funds, after thinking it’s posted to their account and they were told the check was counterfeit by the car lots own bank…something about the signature was forged of the accountant. So now my friends account has been put on hold and of course now have no access to this money. She went to the car lot and told them they gave her a fake check and the dude told her he was going to call the cops if she didn’t stop cursing or whatever. There HAS to be something that can be done right? Anyone have any ideas?
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:48 pm
@cba..for me,I get nauseated seeing puddy All the damn time..I get disinterested daily quickly.
Strip club were novel when I first came to the states but soon realized they were for suckers…if u get sucked in it’s u losing money anyway.
I don’t mind going infrequently but as a regular pass time?
No way.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
1:50 pm
Ex ~ I don’t have a problem with him going. However, I wouldn’t want him to be going every week. Moderation is key and I’d like to hope he brings all that heat he’s carrying back to me!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
1:52 pm
Lol @Slim
tell me you don’t go to the same group Bluz go? Lol
Why u gotta file taxes at the chop shop or BuyherePayHere lot?
She just needs to call the cops…the cops and the chop shop can settle that issue.
Con folks luv desperate folks
Classical example!
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
1:53 pm
Ex – Naw, not the same group as Bluz…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:09 pm
Dang Slim…That really stinks for your friend. I would suggest calling the cops and reporting the dealership. I hate it when people with poor credit go to small car lots to buy a car. Your friend probably got charged an arm and a leg for the car too. I wish people would go to a credit union first…
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:09 pm
celisea – in a man’s defense, maybe the women at the club look much better than wifey at home. that’s not to say he doesn’t love wifey but there’s no harm in looking at something that he obviously thinks looks good. I can’t imagine dudes are investing time and money on strippers they don’t find at least reasonably attractive. if they are, then those particular men (and their women at home) have an even bigger issue to deal with.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:10 pm
Definitely report them to the BBB.
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:11 pm
Ex ~ wasn’t sure if I read that right in that they filed their taxes with the car lot. Never heard of such a thing.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:13 pm
Afternoon Peeps….. Whats good?????
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:15 pm
leggs – girl yes. that hustle has been around for a minute. they know folks be out to get cars with their income tax money. a lot of the dealerships offer your refund amount plus a little something “extra” towards the car. this ties in to our dealbreaker conversations when I say I can’t get with a bankruptcy guy. bk because of a terminal illness and outstanding medical bills? maybe. bk because you didn’t read the fine print? I don’t think so.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:18 pm
Slim tell her to call one of the investigative reporters at the TV station.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:19 pm
disco – “In a man’s defense.” Okay now disco, Imma start calling foul on you and always defending the men’s team. lolololol Mmmm hmmm
I disagree
If the woman ain’t as “up to par” as the stripper on the pole, like due to time and aging, ummm the man more than likely ain’t all that great to look at either. IJS and lol And if it’s not an “aging”, getting older issue, then he knew what he married when he married.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:19 pm
Disco, what if he’s cleared his bankruptcy?
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:20 pm
Strip clubs – I would not have a problem every once in awhile, say for a bachelor party or something, but not all the time. I’m kinda thinking like Cel tho, look like after a point it would get old. I’m not interested at all in going with him. Heck, I have gone with friends to see men strip maybe 3 times in my life, 2 for a bachelorette party. It was fun, but I don’t need to go again.
There was this guy I went to college with that went every single week. A guy I was dating at the time attended grad school with him and told me he talked to him and it seeemed like he was obsessed with going to strip clubs. He had a beautiful wife too. They eventually got divorced, tho I don’t know to what degree going to the strip club played a part in it. Both he & wifey were making bank though, so I don’t know how it affected the household finances.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
2:21 pm
LEggs/Exiled – I had never heard of filing taxes at a car lot for the purpose of a down payment either…but I guess with this economy, folks get really creative in ways to make money. Plus, for the most part, tax money is a pretty sure fire deal.
SH – I told her to call the police and the new station.
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:23 pm
Stay away from shady deals. If you can’t do, afford or purchase at the time, it’s best to save and wait. Sometimes that’s a long time but then you won’t have the fallout of getting burned.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
Enter your comments here
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
Exiled – Do you think it’s only on the wife to keep things spicy at home? You know, we get a little bored too.
Disco – In a woman’s defense, those same hubs might not look so great their dam selves!LOL! I mean, it might be nice to check out some six packs and not have to look at that pot belly for a little while!! Just sayin
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:25 pm
celisea – that’s just it. it may not be due to time and aging. maybe dude just couldn’t pull a “hot” chick. lol. maybe he knows that the typical stripper type will always be out of his league. again, it doesn’t take away from the love at home. ijs.
s/h – I probably still wouldn’t like it. I’d be more willing to date cleared bk guy that current bk guy but I probably still wouldn’t like it.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:26 pm
Slim all she’s probably going to get from the cops is that it’s civil. this has nothing to do with the economy, it’s been around for decades.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:27 pm
kimmie – I thought of responding to cba with “see my post to celisea”. it works both ways. I’m sure some chicks have gone to male reviews and got themselves all hot and bothered only to go home and put on their regular average joe hubby.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:28 pm
Disco, what about double BK guy (LOL) they’ve both cleared and he now has great credit.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:31 pm
Slim – That’s not an “economy” thing, that shady stuff has been going on since forever, like Disco said. I’m not downing you at all, but seems like everyone loves to use “the economy” as an excuse for everything these days, when 9 times out of 10, you were shady/lazy/irresponsible/bad with money/underskilled/unemployed/etc when the economy was booming!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:31 pm
disco – Again, not really sure where you’re pulling from because you’re a woman…lol But, not buying that. What you married, you married. You saw, spent time, (no doubt) experienced before you got married. Flipping the script is not a reason. I already know there’s someone more handsome than my boo and someone much finer than me. But we chose one another. To have wondering eyes (and going to a strip club is not really “wondering” eyes, per se), though ain’t exactly acceptable. And telling “all cause she was cuter”, ain’t either. Like I said, when we chose mates and make choices, hopefully we’re mature enough to know you’re head can’t always turn for “someone better.” If that’s the case, don’t chose, stay alone. Also, please be all that and a bag of chips if that’s your attitude. If you ain’t all that and a bag a chips yourself, then naw, you can’t afford to go there.
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:32 pm
s/h – shut up.
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:32 pm
On the going to a strip club on the regular is a problem, is there anywhere that your S/O can go several times a week that won’t be a problem?? besides their REGULAR working hours?
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
2:33 pm
@Celisea you make a good point at some time going to the strip club should a thing of the past as you get older. In the caucasian strip clubs you get a lot of business men who frequent the club on a regular basis. When I was in sales we used to go 1 to 2 times a month during lunch.
@Disco…So if a guy files bankruptcy on his business, how do you look at that? Many folks have filed bankruptcy and recovered big time.
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:33 pm
There have been many shady tax preparers in Georgia as reported in the ajc some jailed
Be careful
disco
February 8th, 2013
2:34 pm
C – that’s just it. you are reading way more into it. being all emotional. making it about the attachment to the person. everybody isn’t a dime. everybody doesn’t get to marry a dime (not even other dimes – and I know dime is relative so no one has to go there). even if they are the love of your life the truth is they may or may not be they “physical” person of your dreams. if someone wants to go have a few drinks and look at a dime from time to time, where’s the harm in that?
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
Disco, all jokes aside, why would someone even tell you they’ve went bankrupt if it’s cleared, and would you be upset if you found out later?
Leggs
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
That’s an excellent suggestion, Single. Surprised I didn’t think of that. I’m always telling someone to call the A-Team (ABC News).
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 8th, 2013
2:35 pm
Not trying to blame everything on the economy but desperate times, at times cause for desperate measures…and you’re both right, sleeze bags have been around since the beginning of time. I just know I couldn’t sleep at night knowing I purposefully got over on someone else or jipped them out of money. But some folks don’t have that voice turned up…
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:37 pm
S/H – Maybe church? LOL!
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:38 pm
Dirty – Yeah, that’s a booming business and I guess, being a woman, I’ll never understand or “get” those dudes that frequent. Well, let me back up…those dudes that frequent and “just watch.” I mean, I don’t get the dudes that spend money cause I say it’s always easier for a man to land a woman then a woman to land a man. But if you’re married or in a relationship, I’m hoping there’s more going on as it relates to “relating” aside from having sex. I’m hoping vibing and jiving will replace an appetite for just watching someone slang and hang on a pole. I mean, honestly there’s no real depth to that. That’s just sex. And everybody wants something more solid than just a few ooooh, OOOOOs and aaaaahhhhs. Of course that’s just me and my opinionated opinion
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 8th, 2013
2:39 pm
‘ 9 times out of 10, you were shady/lazy/irresponsible/bad with money/underskilled/unemployed/etc when the economy was booming!’
Damn…..If dude has it that bad, he should drive his buy here pay here car right off the top of Spagetti Junction…
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:39 pm
Disco – I’m just clowning really. Cause I would be willing to bet in more cases than not, both the strippers and the wives would beat the men in the looks department. You right, they are probably the guys that could never pull the really hot chicks, or even the cute girls that were a little wild.
The dude I referred to in my 2:20 – while he had a cute girlfriend in college and a beautiful wife, he was hands down nothing to look at, not even in his younger days. But he was tall and came from a fairly wealthy family, and he was smart and made bank for himself, so he was able to work all that in his favor. But looks – oh no!
Bluzgirl
February 8th, 2013
2:40 pm
I’ve been a loan officer for about 10 years now and it really hurts my feelings when people go out there and get ripped off and then come to me for help and I can’t help them. I had thought about doing loans at a car dealership, but I was told by several car people I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because you really have to screw people out of money. I just wish more people would educate themselves before going out to buy a car…
Single and Happy
February 8th, 2013
2:40 pm
Bluz why church?? (like I didn’t see that one coming) they’re still not at home with you where they should be!
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
February 8th, 2013
2:41 pm
@Celisea…So if your husband is invited to a bachelor party by his relative, best friend and strippers are going to be there should he decline because he is married and over 40 years?
@Disco..What is the hang-up with Bankruptcy?
Celisea
February 8th, 2013
2:41 pm
disco – I believe I said every now and then I wouldn’t take issue witht hat. And more so if it’s your own money. I went on further to say, if someone is taking money from the household (i.e. being married), I’d have a problem. A dime piece on a pole over and above the maintenance of my household
Ummm, not!! I think though, that’s when you started asking questions.
kimmie
February 8th, 2013
2:42 pm
Slim – You got a conscience, sister, I do too. Could not sleep!
Exiled!
February 8th, 2013
2:44 pm
Kimmie I only said that as it relate to the man wanting to go…
Women with boring husbands,I wld bet get frustrated too.
Spice inthe bedroom is very Important ESP as the relationship gets more miles
Missionary All the Damn Time ain’t gon cut it!!
And yes Iam married but if my wide don’t bring it(@ Cel) coz she is secure and married ok she gon be watching lifetime while I’m out there getting spice.
She ain’t gon do rbat I know but that’s what usually happens
Married women get too damn secure