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Dating Ex-files: Are you vulnerable?

So you know that saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, right? What happens when the woman from hell has access to your personal information, social media accounts, or private photos?

According to a study by McAfee (Intel Company), a revengeful ex can leave you vulnerable and exposed. The results of the study showed: “28% of people have regretted (once they broke up) sending intimate content and 32% have asked their ex-partner to delete the personal content. But despite these risks, 36% of Americans still plan to send sexy or romantic photos to their partners via email, text and social media on Valentine’s Day.”

That’s right. Before you get those dirty messages or pictures cued up for Valentine’s Day fun, decide if you really trust the person you are sending it to. Would they ever flip out in a fit of anger and put you on full blast on Facebook? Could you imagine them using the password you gave them (um, don’t do that) to wreak some kind of havoc in your life?

It’s tricky because trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. No one wants to think that their significant other would intentionally hurt them. Trust should be earned. You have to know who you are dealing with. If you have doubts about their character, maybe don’t send them a picture of you in a thong. Just saying!

Have you ever had an ex try to exact revenge on you using your email, photos, or private information you once shared?

The McAfee study also showed that “Over 56% of people surveyed admitted to checking their significant others’ social media pages. People track their ex-partner on Facebook more than they do their current partners.” I admit that I have found at least two exes on Facebook. Well, one found me but I stalked his photos to see if he was happy. Ok, that’s a lie. I wanted to see how fabulous his wife was. Do you ever do this?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

232 comments Add your comment

Lee

February 8th, 2013
6:55 am

No, i never sent dirty pictures to anyone and never taken a dirty picture. I will never trust someone that much, and why would you need such a photo?! I have been asked many times and it irks me that guys think this is ok to even ask. Only once i received a dirty picture from a guy, i didn’t ask for it , i think he may of thought it was going to impress me, well it pissed me off, and all he got was “have a nice day”, that was the end.
I was standing in line waiting to order for lunch, there was a group of guys in front of me, one guy had a big screen cell phone, some chick sent him a naked picture, well he shared with his friends and everyone else in line, how could you not see, he was holding it up to show his buddies, i thought to myself “wonder if she knows he is so sharing” .. women young ladies really need to think about sending that kind of stuff to people, you just don’t know what someone is going to do with those images.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
7:43 am

Hello everyone

Don’t worry about someone getting into anything of mine, because you’re not getting the password, not even if we’re married!! And don’t start that thing about trust, and nothing to hide, because if you’re significant other really thought that, they wouldn’t ask, or take if you tried to give it to them. As far as pictures go, If you don’t want it out there, then don’t take them. But as far as I’m concerned, when the relationships over the pictures go by way of the shredder or deleted! Life is too short to waste on seeking revenge.

Button

February 8th, 2013
8:53 am

good morning – tgif! never sent nude/salacious pictures to anybody i’m dating and as for my password, I’ve given it out once before and as soon as he was finished helping me out, I changed it. I didn’t want to take a chance of him back tracking. Not to say I had anything I didn’t want him to see but I didn’t want him having access to my email all willy nilly. As for cell phone password, I sometimes see my dude trying to sneak a peek at me keying in my password. I change it, never know some folks are good at breaking codes..lol. But what about givng keys to the home? when you break up do you change the locks?

As far as trust, I trust NO ONE! I can only hope anything we’ve done in our dating venture the dude will not do anything to get back at me out of revenge.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
9:11 am

Button, just change the code on the alarm, and have them arrested if they try to use it. :-D

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
9:14 am

I’ve sent pics in the past, but not with my face. I also have had pics of my SO either sent to me or pics I took. I could have easily put them out there and embarrassed him (them), but I would never do that. I would never send pics to someone I didn’t trust 100%.

One of my best girlfriends recently broke up with her psycho boyfriend. While she was out of town a few weeks ago, he broke into her Facebook and said all kinds of nasty things and sent messages to any guy she had talked to. He really showed himself and her FB ended up getting locked out. She had to go through hell to get it back online. After all of that, when she got back in town he proposed to her and he keeps begging her to take him back (which she won’t). Oh…and he’s also threatened suicide a few times…

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
9:17 am

As far as keys to the house…when I broke up with Ex, I got my keys back. It started out as an amicable break up, so I didn’t think about changing the locks. Once things got nasty between us, I wasn’t worried that he made another key, but I was worried either he or his fiance would show up at my door…

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
9:29 am

I don’t waste my time being vengeful. I’m not hacking into anybody’s email accounts, taking their sim cards, infiltrating their voicemail. Naw, such a wasted emotion being vengeful. I’m not going to stress myself trying to make you miserable.

The best habit is to never send racy pictures.

Bluz ~ that guy is a punk, plain and simple.

Good morning.

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
9:36 am

Leggs – girl…punk doesn’t even begin to explain this guy!!! Unfortunately, she is having to tread lightly because she’s kind of scared of what he may do to himself (or to her). We’re trying to get her to file a restraining order, but she won’t do it yet. I’m super worried about him because he really has been acting psychotic since she broke up with him…

disco

February 8th, 2013
9:43 am

good morning everyone.

bluz – I know you’ve been to therapy and all but did you meet your circle of friends in “group”?

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
9:45 am

I was just looking at a segment on GMA (I think) a week or so ago, about a site where ex scorned/angry/vengeful lovers are posting risque pics :shock: , and some woman featured where she’s trying to get hers removed. Okay, here’s what I don’t get. Why or why would you send, take, record pics, deeds and acts where you possible be ashamed??? I get folks are caught up in the moment and just luuuv luuv luuv their lovers/SO, but ummm never ever should you lose your scruples. That meaning (cause I don’t want to offend), the ability to just know somewhere somehow in the future, y’all just may breakup and you’re dealing with someone that’s vengeful = crybaby??? I mean, IMO if you’re jiving and grooving and digging each other so much so that things such as pics and videos are popping off, let that be something that’s shared during a time the two of you were together (if y’all ever decide to part ways). Knowing there’s the very possible that the relationship may not be eternal, I would think, thinking twice about such activities would be top of mind. Now, if we know the person we’re dealing with will be grown-up so much so that we part ways, they can just “let it go”, shoot have at it….lol But, you gotta know who and what you’re dealing with. Sometimes folks and their behavior just give me pause…IJS and lol

Anyhoo, I agree with those that say it really ain’t that deep, not to the point of posting something that was shared between just the two of you. And really, I think it’s women that would need to be careful more so, only because of the double standard and how society thinks. We all know a man can do and be the scum of the earth, straighten up and fly right (as my mama would say), and all is forgettn and forgiven. Women? Not so much. But no, I wouldn’t take pics cause I’m too square for that and I wouldn’t post any I’m in receipt of. Naw, for real, I just wouldn’t do because you NEVER EVER know how deep folks go in their craziness.

I’m heading home today….yaaaaaaaaay!!! I’m ready too. I miss my boo :mrgreen:

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
9:45 am

Morning All!!

I’m with Single and Leggs this morning. Never sent pics or had any sent to me. Even before all this cellphone pics and Facebook mess started, there were too many stories in the news about folks getting in trouble because of pictures resurfacing or kids stumbling across embarassing stuff. So I never take pictures, videos, etc of anything I am ashamed of coming back. I never understood the thrill of some folks wanting to film everything!

Neither me or hubs have passwords on our cells. He has one of those big Galaxy phones and I have an iphone. When calls or texts come thru they are in clear view. Neither of us seem to have the desire to check out who is calling, but if one is in the middle of doing something, we’ll answer for the other. We both have a Facebook page, but I can’t tell you the last time I went on mine, probably at least 2 years ago. He goes on his occasionally and talks to some of our mutual friends and his updates get emailed to me somehow.

I don’t know, I guess some would consider us boring. We just don’t have such issues with phones & Facebook and such. We are just too busy. I guess if you have nothing more to do with your time than spy or plot revenge, well that’s just sad. Get a life!!

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
9:46 am

where you’d possibly……is what I meant

Button

February 8th, 2013
9:48 am

single – that’s all fine and dandy but, what if there’s no alarm?

Bluzgirl – dude is crazy.

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
9:48 am

Perhaps I’m speaking out of turn because it has never happened to me, but if a person wants to harm themselves, that’s not on my conscious. Hopefully, she’s threading lightly because she’s not sure if he will harm HER. If he wants to harm himself, that’s his call. You can’t guile me into babysitting you and your fragile emotions.

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
9:51 am

forgotten, possibly (a second time)….lol

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 8th, 2013
9:51 am

Morning, fewbies that are here ;-)

When my ex and I broke up, I still had the key for quite some time. He didn’t change the alarm code or any of that. But i’m just not that kind of chick to try to sneak over there and do something vindictive. Actually, my ex never removed my name from the call list for the alarm. There were times I was with the beau and i’d get a call from the alarm folks of the ex, stating the alarm went off and they couldn’t reach him. It was like 3 or 4 in the morning and the beau and I were knocked out. My phone is just a buzzing from some unknown number. I ignore it but they keep calling back…I finally answer it and sure enough his house had been broken into. I think i’m a pretty trustworthy chick so I suppose he felt no need to change locks for me

disco

February 8th, 2013
9:52 am

kimmie – speaking of kids stumbling across embarrassing stuff. I will never forget as a child stumbling across (translation rambling where I shouldn’t have been rambling) pics of my dad’s girlfriend doing some stuff. they were Polaroid pics and had the nerve to be wrapped up in aluminum foil. lol.

celisea – I see you are still embracing “square”. lol.

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
9:52 am

disco – LOL…no…I’ve known this girl for about 8 or 9 years. I’ve talked about her on here before with buying her house and ending up taking care of him and his mother.

He supposedly is going to therapy now, but I don’t believe it for a second. He honestly needs to be locked up in a mental hospital. I fear for her safety…

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
9:53 am

And honestly, I like peace and quiet. I don’t want to deal with folks that bring drama. Don’t get me wrong, you strike me, I’ll strike back. But just to bring drama, or deal with crybabies and stuff, naaaaw miss me with that.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
9:53 am

Button, then maybe you should change the locks.

Kimmie, with all the information that people keep on their cellphones, you should have a password in case you ever loose it.

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
9:55 am

disco – Didn’t you know? IT’S HIP TO BE SQUARE!! lolololol Who sang that song? Hewy Lewis and the News…I think. I embrace my squareness :)

I’m getting it allll out now, cause I got a 5 hour meeting today. Ugh!!!

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
9:55 am

kimmie ~ that’s how I would be too…no password on phone, calls come through, I’m not hiding a thing. He can answer mine, and I can answer his (hopefully)

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
9:56 am

Leggs – I think she just has no idea what he’s going to do if she is stern with him. The poor girl has already dealt with her sister in law accidentally killing herself. This guy is bringing back those feelings every time he does this crap. He’s just looking for attention and hoping she’ll take him back, but each time he has done this, she doesn’t respond to him and lets his family deal with it…It really is crazy!

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
9:58 am

Single – I know I should, since I did lose my once, in Vegas. Thanks for putting the fire under me!!

Disco – I’m really not worried much about a vengeful ex, even if hubs & I were to divorce. My biggest worry has been either a child or other family member finding something, or if someone would break in or a fire or I got sick and someone had to go to the house and pack a bag for me.

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
10:00 am

Dang Bluz, if he’s that bad then you guys need to go get that TRO (which is just a piece of paper that perpetrators don’t care about). If you really fear for her and he’s mental, then do something.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
10:03 am

Leggs, does the company you work for require you to have a password on your computer and change it every few months?

disco

February 8th, 2013
10:06 am

single – are you about to give us a top ten list of why everything should be password protected? sounds like that’s the direction you are headed in.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
10:12 am

No, Disco not a list, your personal information should be just as important to you as theirs. Most don’t realize how much information they put on their phone until it’s too late. Most that have passwords aren’t to keep the S/O off, but to keep others off.

Or should I do Single’s top 10 list to have a password (LOL)

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
10:15 am

If you don’t mind me asking, how did she “accidentally” kill herself?

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
10:16 am

Single, yes sir!

Leggs

February 8th, 2013
10:21 am

I get what you’re saying, Single. I don’t have an IPhone or even a smart phone. I use my phone to make phone calls. I don’t store much of anything on it. I use the alarm to wake up every morning and have my picture as a screen saver. I don’t even use the calendar feature. I take a few pics with my phone, but it’s not my main source for picture taking. Most numbers are in my head anyway. Credit card numbers, hotel account honor numbers, etc. All in my head. Never used an address book, I just memorize numbers. It’s weird because I really do not like math, but numbers themselves intrigue me.

disco

February 8th, 2013
10:22 am

single – I just felt a lecture coming on. personally, I don’t even have a smartphone. yep. I still have the old school flip phone. lol. password protect that? for what? to keep somebody from getting my cousins’ phone numbers. heck, half of them are disconnected at any given time and the other half can only get text messages. lol.

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
10:22 am

Leggs – I don’t know what to do. Luckily, she has a friend from out of town staying with her, so she’ll keep an eye on her.

The sister in law had done the suicide threat a couple of times. She would take several pills, but not enough to take her life. She wanted the attention. Well, one day, she did this and got in the car to go hide somewhere. She ran into a ditch and it was full of water. She was disoriented and fell into the ditch and drowned…

disco

February 8th, 2013
10:25 am

leggs – I forgot about you and numbers. I dreamed 1034 the other night. didn’t think to tell you. told my mom and she was ticked because 134 came out in pick 3 and there she was playing pick 4. oh well.

Exiled!

February 8th, 2013
10:27 am

Did u meet ur circle of friends in a group?

Lol

talk of a loaded question.

Leme check back a’ read the response. :lol:

@Disco

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
10:29 am

Even though I have an iphone, the only info I keep on it are contact numbers and addresses that I try to keep a hard copy of in an address book. I am old-school in that I keep one of those! They are good for having everything together to send out Christmas cards and invites and such. I do have a few pics, but none really I would be devestated in losing. I never keep account numbers or passwords on it at all. So if I were to lose it, it would just be inconvenient more than anything. But there is a way to download all the info from the phone to my computer in case I were to lose it to minimize the damage!

Button

February 8th, 2013
10:32 am

Hope springs eternal for your friend Bluzgirl.
Situations like your friend is troublesome.

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 8th, 2013
10:33 am

My dad used to work at a job where his passwords had be changed several times throughout each workday. Talk about a pain that had to be. lol

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
10:35 am

Bluz – Reading your posts sometimes about these drama-filled friends just makes me tired. You are a great friend to stick around and try to help, you will be richly blessed one day I believe. I just can’t deal with such though. Men that like drama and friends that have too much of it going on, I have always run from the minute I start to sniff it out.

I remember one guy I broke up with cried his behind off on the phone. I could not believe it. It actually scared me. I was spending alot of time at my dad’s house at the time when he was ill, so I was not around my house much. But I was so afraid he might come over and do something. Plus, my dad’s assistant/caregiver was ex-military and very menacing, so I think he would have scared him too. But that’s the closest I’ve come to dealing with a crazy man. I’m just not the one.

Button

February 8th, 2013
10:36 am

I use my pbone for everything from paying bills to telenav, to taking payments, to managing my calendar. It’s my personal assistant. If I were to lose my phone I will be lost. All my favorite apps! I would be done.

Exiled!

February 8th, 2013
10:37 am

If u send nekkid pics do it the way Bluz do…no headshots…just the nice lower nether ..lol I doubt any of these Lick masters would recognize and spread word that they belong to so and so…

Who studied features like that when are going for the jaguar?? Lol

And I know most women close their moufs anyway when the python is in the mouf….lol…opening eyes momentarily just to aim the spit! :lol:

Send me the pics ladies!

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
10:41 am

Disco, leggs, naw you wouldn’t need to put a password on either of those (LOL)

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
10:41 am

kimmie – She has been one of my best friends for a long time, so I gotta stick around her. Now, she’s trying to get her ex’s mother to move out, but doesn’t want to be mean and kick her out right away. Problem is, the mother is letting the ex come into the house when my friend isn’t home. I told my friend she can be stern with the mother and if she doesn’t respect her rules in her house, then she can kick her out on her butt! It’s a terrible situation and I just pray for her…

Bluzgirl

February 8th, 2013
10:42 am

Button – I’m like you…I would be LOST without my phone. I use it for everything as well. I guess I should password protect it, but it’s such a pain!

Celisea

February 8th, 2013
10:42 am

There is no way I could deal with a circle of friends where someone or something is always tettering. That’s a downer and would bring me down. All I would or could do is recommend Jesus (as the first option) and if they wanted to take the professional help route, then do that. But always always someone has issues would just make me tired and cause me to have to exit stage left.

Not to be all insensitive, but IJS

Alright heading to my meeting.

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
10:45 am

Button, see you need a password :-D

Single and Happy

February 8th, 2013
10:46 am

Bluz, you won’t some real pain, let someone breach your accounts, and you have to get them back in order!!

disco

February 8th, 2013
10:49 am

as for friends and drama, I admit that I don’t mind “entertaining” drama. I will not be a part of unnecessary, repetitive drama that serves no real purpose and could easily be prevented. of course my friends and family know I don’t have patience for foolishness so they wouldn’t bring it to me if for no other reason than they wouldn’t want to have to hear my mouth.

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
10:53 am

Bluz – This is another reason why shacking is no good. This isn’t even her husband, it’s a BOYFRIEND and his mama is living with them? Oh heck naw! And of course mama is letting him in when she isn’t ther, that’s her SON!!

This is the kind of stuff old folks used to say “grandma’s washing powder won’t get rid of”!!

kimmie

February 8th, 2013
10:55 am

disco – I don’t mind it much if it’s just chatting on the phone about stuff. But when it might put me or mine in danger, I’m not getting caught up in the crossfire!