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Best way to break up?

I saw a really sweet video of a couple who broke up, wrote a song about it, then filmed a music video about it. This is Breaking Up 2.0 people. The mature, totally hip and cool way to end a relationship, complete with a video that goes viral.

If only all break ups can be so thoughtful and coordinated. I’d settle for just making it mutual! There really is no right or wrong way to break up a relationship. There is a way to make it as painless as possible, though. Clearly, sleeping with someone else or sending a random text message does not qualify as painless. Yet, I know two people who were dumped in this way recently.

Breaking up is hard to do, but does it really have to be? What is the most humane and kind way to dump someone? Should the length of time you were together make a difference in how you should end things?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

167 comments Add your comment

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 6th, 2013
8:07 am

Good Foggy Frilly Wednesday,

Um, a ‘good’ way to break up??? The only kind of break ups that I can see being ‘painless’ are the ones when both parties are on the same page..or they both sort of know where things are headed. COMMUNICATION is probably going to be key here. The more painful break ups are the ones where one party has already decided it’s over in their mind, yet still act and go on as if everything is okay. Then one day, after they’ve pondered it over and over in their mind, finally decide to share that with the other person. It sort of blind-sides them…But like I said, if you are open with your partner during the course of the whole relationship, then it really shouldn’t come to a big surprise if it starts to head south. However, more times than not, there is always going to be someone that takes it way harder than the other person.

Button

February 6th, 2013
8:40 am

Enter your comments here

Button

February 6th, 2013
8:43 am

There is no great/good way of breaking up. None that I know of anyway unless it’s mutal. Depending the length of time together would be the hardest. The longer the relationship lasted the harder it is to break up. A friend of mine is going thru this right now, he wants to break things off with a girl of 7 months but now that valentines day is coming up he can’t or won’t because that would be just too cruel. I told him there is no perfect time to break up with someone just do it and get it over with already. I doubt he will.

Button

February 6th, 2013
8:44 am

It’s not you it’s me is the top favorite saying when breaking up.

Button

February 6th, 2013
8:45 am

Send a youtube video of Somebody that I used to know by Gotye that sould do it.

disco

February 6th, 2013
9:06 am

good morning.

slim – what was going on under that rock?

the topic made me think of the sex/city episode where dude broke up with carrie on a post-it. she definitely took that one kind of hard.

Robert

February 6th, 2013
9:06 am

Just say NO.

Robert

February 6th, 2013
9:12 am

The Atlanta Falcons owner Mr. Blank is facing this problem with the City of Atlanta. How to break-up a long term relationship? The City of Atlanta really has no leverage. Mr. Blank wants a new state-of-the-art stadium to increase his profits and he has all the leverage. For example he can force the City of Atlanta to spend 300 million dollars to renovate the Dome. He can negotiate a new stadium deal with a local government (Alpharetta, Roswell, Gwinnett, etc.) where the people live who can afford to buy season tickets. Or he can solicit bids from other major Cities across the USA (LA, etc.).

The people of Atlanta have enjoyed the Falcons for many years and should be prepared for any changes. Mr. Blank has several options to choose from such as renovating the existing Dome (Atlanta pays 300 million), relocating to the suburbs (local govt. pays 300 million) or relocating to another State around the USA (Mr. Blank receives offers to relocate and saves 800 million).

What would you do? I would relocate to another City and save 800 million.

For some people breaking up is not hard to do.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
9:15 am

I don’t really think there’s a “best way” to break up per se, as someone is going to be hurt, unless both have left in heart and mind already. I think the most you can do in a situation like this, is to display as much tact and sensitivity around it. Even so, hurt is hurt and hurt hurts the same, whether delivered as a blow or eased into.

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
9:16 am

Guess WDiva missed when we all blogged about that video.

SlimNu ~ glad you’re out from under a rock. It’s never good to be laden down with a rock on you (lol).

I have an O/T, but will be respectful and let this topic grow or die.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
9:16 am

That’s probably a record for me for the shortest post (on topic).

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
9:16 am

Good morning.

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 6th, 2013
9:18 am

what was going on under that rock?

disco – The things I can disclose would be a lot of reflection, thinking, me time etc…anything more than that and I’ll have to ‘off’ ya lol j/k

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 6th, 2013
9:22 am

Button – Do you think that by staying with the girl and celebrating Vday with her, that it would come across as misleading…especially if soon after he then decides to break up with her?

Bluzgirl

February 6th, 2013
9:23 am

I don’t think there is such a thing as a painless break up, even if it’s mutual. When I broke up with the Ex, we both knew it wasn’t going anywhere, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It hurt me a LOT! I think I broke up with him in an adult manner…I sat him down and talked to him and told him how I felt and he agreed that it wasn’t working.

OK…don’t want to dwell on that this morning! :-)

SlimNu - Out from under a rock

February 6th, 2013
9:25 am

Leggs – You’re right, sometimes it isn’t that good be under a rock but the boss was here from PA all last week too. So I couldn’t join my blog peeps as I normally could. bummer

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
9:34 am

Yes ma’am, that rock with the boss’ name on it is a bitter pill.

disco

February 6th, 2013
9:34 am

slim – I get it but that’s why I asked. sometimes being under a rock is self-imposed and you just stay under there until you are ready to deal again. shoot I don’t deny having some “want to crawl under a rock” days myself. of course, those usually come along after my “want to bust somebody in the head with a rock” days.

disco

February 6th, 2013
9:38 am

leggs – re bitter pill. my grandma used to say “between a hot rock and a cold hard place”. I spent a lot of my childhood pondering that one.

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
9:38 am

That’s the adult way to do it Bluz. Good for you.

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
9:46 am

“I spent a lot of my childhood pondering that one.” – what are some of the meanings you came up with? I can only imagine. Children are funny creatures!

Robert

February 6th, 2013
9:55 am

Where are all the guys this morning? I was hoping to hear from them how they feel. This has got to be a painful break-up for many Atlanta Falcons football fans.

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 6th, 2013
9:56 am

Morning Ladies ( and Robert)…… Keep it simple…. Over dinner at her home…. look her in the eye and say…… “I have thought about this long and hard and it have to be honest and say this is no longer working for me”…… Keep is short, no long disccusions… get up and leave before the uncomfotable anger sets in…..

disco

February 6th, 2013
9:58 am

leggs – I don’t remember specifics but I’m sure I had some crazy thoughts. since it’s quieting down already you might as well bring your off topic.

SlimUno

February 6th, 2013
9:58 am

Disco – not bussin em to the white meat are ya? Lol

disco

February 6th, 2013
9:59 am

courtside – why it’s gotta be over dinner at her home? dang. you are about to dump old girl, the least you could do is cook or buy dinner. trifling.

Button

February 6th, 2013
10:00 am

SlimNu – yes it would be misleading if he spends vday with her and do all the trimmings that go with that day. Heck he’s already misleading her by staying in a dead end relationship while she thinks all is peachy cream.

SlimUno

February 6th, 2013
10:00 am

Cosign on the off topic Leggs ;-)

disco

February 6th, 2013
10:03 am

slim – no, I’m not. but that has got to be one of my most recurring fantasies. busting folks in the head with a brick and slinging chicks against a wall by their hair.

button – old boy might be hanging around for some vday booty since old girl might take it up a notch that day.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
10:05 am

Honestly, I think it would be insensitive to break up around Vday, but it would be worse to stay. So to soften the blow, I think he should buy a Vday’s gift as a departing token/gift. I think he should say….

“because I know you’re one helluva woman, just not the woman for me, this is a small token of the time we spent together.”

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 6th, 2013
10:07 am

disco…. I say over dinner at her home because, that is a really ishtty thing to do in public and If / when it starts to go south, I can leave without issue……

disco

February 6th, 2013
10:16 am

courtside – I get it but sometimes public is a safety net. also, why should she cook you one last meal? bump that. shoot I might be more angry about cooking than I am about you breaking up with me. I could just see me talking about “ninja I wasted my good food on you. all up in here chopping and dicing, shaking and baking for this bs. got burned by hot grease for you. oh heck naw”.

celisea – I guess some chicks might accept that. I think it would tick me off more. unless the gift was really good I’d just consider it a consolation prize. now you playing with my pride. that ain’t going over to well either. I think I’d rather just take the speech without the gift (like I said, unless it’s a really good gift – lol)

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 6th, 2013
10:19 am

disco, it could always be worse…It could happen at 2 am after we have done the rabbit dance for a couple of hours… :) :) :)

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
10:30 am

disco – LOL, I guess since there’s no nice way to get it done, I was just thinking maybe that would soften the blow….if it was a REAAAALLLY good gift. Either way though, that’s gonna hurt twice as much because it’s a breakup around the lover’s holiday. I dunno, either that or just wait…shoot I wouldn’t want to be him or her.

IMissAtlanta

February 6th, 2013
10:33 am

Honestly, buy her a nice purse or shoes while breaking up and it just may make it a little easier on her. For women, well.. I really don’t know how to break up nicely with a guy.

Button

February 6th, 2013
10:33 am

@ disco – lol that could be the case, you could be on to something. Dude is so over this girl. lol

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
10:34 am

This comes from The Bert Show, and the guys Courtside/Robert probably won’t care for this, but thought it interesting and trifling at the same time.

A man was getting married, but his friends didn’t want him to marry the girl so they asked another girl in their circle to sleep with the soon to be groom. Like an idiot, she agreed to help break up the couple. I think more than once (not sure). Two days before the wedding she told the girl, who didn’t believe her. The girl confronted her fiancé and, of course, he denied everything saying she was crazy and a liar. Well, the other woman didn’t take kindly to being called a crazy liar. She sent a private msg to the fiancée via FB with proof of the short affair. The wedding was called off.

Don’t know now much time went by, they got back together and had their wedding. Now, the idiot that tried to break them up has been asked to go to a military ball with another male friend. The married couple will be there. He’s in the military so naturally he will take his wife. The other woman isn’t sure if she should attend. She finally talks herself out of attending. Well, calls started coming into the station saying she should go. No reason for her to shoulder all the guilt, and that she shouldn’t stop living her life because of the mistake. The host of the station feels she should not go because it’s morally wrong what she did and there’s no reason for her to throw up the affair in the now wife’s face by being in their presence. The guy who invited her to the ball isn’t her boyfriend so he thinks she should decline his date offer.

Personally, I think the guy who invited her is setting her up, inviting unnecessary drama to the ball hoping for fireworks once everyone gets liquored up. Whatcha think?

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
10:39 am

I heard that story….I wouldn’t go because I would be so over it of course I wouldn’t have fell for the okie doke and slept with ole but. Buuuuut, I’d be something HOT right about now, if he slept with me and denied and called me crazy. I don’t condone at all, what she did but the saying exists for a reason. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Again, I’m not saying she’s right NOR HIM. He’s just as guilty if not more, for not having the cojones to do the dang thing and break up with her on his own. For that reason, not being a man about it and then denying (like I said it wouldn’t be me….nuh uh), I would be blind with fuy and he would know for certain that I’d been there. I wouldn’t have taken it out on her….but him, Idda burned him alive.

Okay, I was getting all passionate while I typed that….my bad. But yeah, all of them are dummies.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
10:40 am

ole boy, not ole but

disco

February 6th, 2013
10:41 am

geez leggs. I think that was one heck of a long story. lol. aside from that. I think whatever. I’m sure old girl didn’t just get with dude because his boys asked her too. she’d likely been wanting him all along and he obviously had thoughts of getting with her too. can’t imagine he’d jump at some stray booty right before the wedding but then again you never know. as for her being in the wrong, she did her part but she wasn’t engaged. that part was all on him. as for her not going somewhere that the wifey will be. the wifey has dibs on hubs, that’s it. she doesn’t have dibs on the rest of the world. if old girl wants to go then she should have at it. if by chance something jumps off she just has to deal with it.

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 6th, 2013
10:46 am

Two questions:

1) Is the guy that invited her a part of their circle?
2) Has she ever apologized to the wife for getting with hubby?

disco

February 6th, 2013
10:50 am

courtside – really? apologize to the wife? do you think that’s necessary? lol. especially if the chick and the wife didn’t know one another. even if they did I don’t see the point in that one. I wish the chick who screwed my man before the wedding would apologize to me. i bet you I wouldn’t apologize for popping her in her mouth mid-apology.

Leggs

February 6th, 2013
10:51 am

disco ~ after typing it I said WHEW!

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

February 6th, 2013
10:57 am

disco, I do not feel she should apologize to satisfy the wife, but it seems as if she has some guilt about her actions and maybe that might help her to look at herself in the mirror…. All in all, sounds like she is being played by everybody and might just nned to tell all of them to Fugg Off, and find her a new set of friends….

Button

February 6th, 2013
11:04 am

with friends like ol’ dudes who needs enemies. That story is wrong on so many levels. Do they not like his future wife that bad enough to break up his pending nuptials? The girl should not go to the party. Not only will it be morally wrong but c’mon she willingly slept with a guy who she knew was off the market. Sleazy weezy should just stay away.

disco

February 6th, 2013
11:04 am

courtside – I didn’t read it as her being played. I guess because while I know there are some stupid chicks out there I can’t imagine one that daggone stupid. really? screw someone because someone tells you to? I’m not seeing that. I’m thinking she may have already been crushing on him and maybe his boys gassed her up to go for it but I can’t see her just doing it for their sake. I could be wrong though. I do think she’s a drama queen. why else would she be acting like all of this even warrants attention? what’s done is done. if there’s an event you want to attend, go. problem solved. later for everyone else and what they think and their feeling and all that.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
11:06 am

Where is the groom’s guilt in all of this??? The story started out with ole boy not have the cojones to break up because he just didn’t want to marry her. If anybody is at fault he is and she’s running a close second for being just plain stupid. Just because she was hit hard with stupid, does not negate the fact that he’s the center of this mess.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
11:07 am

I’m thinking she may have already been crushing on him and maybe his boys gassed her up to go for it but I can’t see her just doing it for their sake

Cosign…..

disco

February 6th, 2013
11:07 am

button – morally wrong? to attend a party? come on now. as far as I’m concerned she wasn’t even really morally wrong for screwing dude. he was engaged, not married. he was a boyfriend (albeit a fiancé) but not a husband. lol. yeah it’s a leap but it’s the truth.

Celisea

February 6th, 2013
11:08 am

I wouldn’t go because I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near any of them, but if she wants to go, she should get dolled up and do the dang thing…lol