Best way to break up?
I saw a really sweet video of a couple who broke up, wrote a song about it, then filmed a music video about it. This is Breaking Up 2.0 people. The mature, totally hip and cool way to end a relationship, complete with a video that goes viral.
If only all break ups can be so thoughtful and coordinated. I’d settle for just making it mutual! There really is no right or wrong way to break up a relationship. There is a way to make it as painless as possible, though. Clearly, sleeping with someone else or sending a random text message does not qualify as painless. Yet, I know two people who were dumped in this way recently.
Breaking up is hard to do, but does it really have to be? What is the most humane and kind way to dump someone? Should the length of time you were together make a difference in how you should end things?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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167 comments Add your comment
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 6th, 2013
8:07 am
Good Foggy Frilly Wednesday,
Um, a ‘good’ way to break up??? The only kind of break ups that I can see being ‘painless’ are the ones when both parties are on the same page..or they both sort of know where things are headed. COMMUNICATION is probably going to be key here. The more painful break ups are the ones where one party has already decided it’s over in their mind, yet still act and go on as if everything is okay. Then one day, after they’ve pondered it over and over in their mind, finally decide to share that with the other person. It sort of blind-sides them…But like I said, if you are open with your partner during the course of the whole relationship, then it really shouldn’t come to a big surprise if it starts to head south. However, more times than not, there is always going to be someone that takes it way harder than the other person.
Button
February 6th, 2013
8:40 am
Enter your comments here
Button
February 6th, 2013
8:43 am
There is no great/good way of breaking up. None that I know of anyway unless it’s mutal. Depending the length of time together would be the hardest. The longer the relationship lasted the harder it is to break up. A friend of mine is going thru this right now, he wants to break things off with a girl of 7 months but now that valentines day is coming up he can’t or won’t because that would be just too cruel. I told him there is no perfect time to break up with someone just do it and get it over with already. I doubt he will.
Button
February 6th, 2013
8:44 am
It’s not you it’s me is the top favorite saying when breaking up.
Button
February 6th, 2013
8:45 am
Send a youtube video of Somebody that I used to know by Gotye that sould do it.
disco
February 6th, 2013
9:06 am
good morning.
slim – what was going on under that rock?
the topic made me think of the sex/city episode where dude broke up with carrie on a post-it. she definitely took that one kind of hard.
Robert
February 6th, 2013
9:06 am
Just say NO.
Robert
February 6th, 2013
9:12 am
The Atlanta Falcons owner Mr. Blank is facing this problem with the City of Atlanta. How to break-up a long term relationship? The City of Atlanta really has no leverage. Mr. Blank wants a new state-of-the-art stadium to increase his profits and he has all the leverage. For example he can force the City of Atlanta to spend 300 million dollars to renovate the Dome. He can negotiate a new stadium deal with a local government (Alpharetta, Roswell, Gwinnett, etc.) where the people live who can afford to buy season tickets. Or he can solicit bids from other major Cities across the USA (LA, etc.).
The people of Atlanta have enjoyed the Falcons for many years and should be prepared for any changes. Mr. Blank has several options to choose from such as renovating the existing Dome (Atlanta pays 300 million), relocating to the suburbs (local govt. pays 300 million) or relocating to another State around the USA (Mr. Blank receives offers to relocate and saves 800 million).
What would you do? I would relocate to another City and save 800 million.
For some people breaking up is not hard to do.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
9:15 am
I don’t really think there’s a “best way” to break up per se, as someone is going to be hurt, unless both have left in heart and mind already. I think the most you can do in a situation like this, is to display as much tact and sensitivity around it. Even so, hurt is hurt and hurt hurts the same, whether delivered as a blow or eased into.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
9:16 am
Guess WDiva missed when we all blogged about that video.
SlimNu ~ glad you’re out from under a rock. It’s never good to be laden down with a rock on you (lol).
I have an O/T, but will be respectful and let this topic grow or die.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
9:16 am
That’s probably a record for me for the shortest post (on topic).
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
9:16 am
Good morning.
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 6th, 2013
9:18 am
what was going on under that rock?
disco – The things I can disclose would be a lot of reflection, thinking, me time etc…anything more than that and I’ll have to ‘off’ ya lol j/k
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 6th, 2013
9:22 am
Button – Do you think that by staying with the girl and celebrating Vday with her, that it would come across as misleading…especially if soon after he then decides to break up with her?
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
9:23 am
I don’t think there is such a thing as a painless break up, even if it’s mutual. When I broke up with the Ex, we both knew it wasn’t going anywhere, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It hurt me a LOT! I think I broke up with him in an adult manner…I sat him down and talked to him and told him how I felt and he agreed that it wasn’t working.
OK…don’t want to dwell on that this morning!
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 6th, 2013
9:25 am
Leggs – You’re right, sometimes it isn’t that good be under a rock but the boss was here from PA all last week too. So I couldn’t join my blog peeps as I normally could. bummer
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
9:34 am
Yes ma’am, that rock with the boss’ name on it is a bitter pill.
disco
February 6th, 2013
9:34 am
slim – I get it but that’s why I asked. sometimes being under a rock is self-imposed and you just stay under there until you are ready to deal again. shoot I don’t deny having some “want to crawl under a rock” days myself. of course, those usually come along after my “want to bust somebody in the head with a rock” days.
disco
February 6th, 2013
9:38 am
leggs – re bitter pill. my grandma used to say “between a hot rock and a cold hard place”. I spent a lot of my childhood pondering that one.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
9:38 am
That’s the adult way to do it Bluz. Good for you.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
9:46 am
“I spent a lot of my childhood pondering that one.” – what are some of the meanings you came up with? I can only imagine. Children are funny creatures!
Robert
February 6th, 2013
9:55 am
Where are all the guys this morning? I was hoping to hear from them how they feel. This has got to be a painful break-up for many Atlanta Falcons football fans.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
9:56 am
Morning Ladies ( and Robert)…… Keep it simple…. Over dinner at her home…. look her in the eye and say…… “I have thought about this long and hard and it have to be honest and say this is no longer working for me”…… Keep is short, no long disccusions… get up and leave before the uncomfotable anger sets in…..
disco
February 6th, 2013
9:58 am
leggs – I don’t remember specifics but I’m sure I had some crazy thoughts. since it’s quieting down already you might as well bring your off topic.
SlimUno
February 6th, 2013
9:58 am
Disco – not bussin em to the white meat are ya? Lol
disco
February 6th, 2013
9:59 am
courtside – why it’s gotta be over dinner at her home? dang. you are about to dump old girl, the least you could do is cook or buy dinner. trifling.
Button
February 6th, 2013
10:00 am
SlimNu – yes it would be misleading if he spends vday with her and do all the trimmings that go with that day. Heck he’s already misleading her by staying in a dead end relationship while she thinks all is peachy cream.
SlimUno
February 6th, 2013
10:00 am
Cosign on the off topic Leggs
disco
February 6th, 2013
10:03 am
slim – no, I’m not. but that has got to be one of my most recurring fantasies. busting folks in the head with a brick and slinging chicks against a wall by their hair.
button – old boy might be hanging around for some vday booty since old girl might take it up a notch that day.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
10:05 am
Honestly, I think it would be insensitive to break up around Vday, but it would be worse to stay. So to soften the blow, I think he should buy a Vday’s gift as a departing token/gift. I think he should say….
“because I know you’re one helluva woman, just not the woman for me, this is a small token of the time we spent together.”
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
10:07 am
disco…. I say over dinner at her home because, that is a really ishtty thing to do in public and If / when it starts to go south, I can leave without issue……
disco
February 6th, 2013
10:16 am
courtside – I get it but sometimes public is a safety net. also, why should she cook you one last meal? bump that. shoot I might be more angry about cooking than I am about you breaking up with me. I could just see me talking about “ninja I wasted my good food on you. all up in here chopping and dicing, shaking and baking for this bs. got burned by hot grease for you. oh heck naw”.
celisea – I guess some chicks might accept that. I think it would tick me off more. unless the gift was really good I’d just consider it a consolation prize. now you playing with my pride. that ain’t going over to well either. I think I’d rather just take the speech without the gift (like I said, unless it’s a really good gift – lol)
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
10:19 am
disco, it could always be worse…It could happen at 2 am after we have done the rabbit dance for a couple of hours…
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
10:30 am
disco – LOL, I guess since there’s no nice way to get it done, I was just thinking maybe that would soften the blow….if it was a REAAAALLLY good gift. Either way though, that’s gonna hurt twice as much because it’s a breakup around the lover’s holiday. I dunno, either that or just wait…shoot I wouldn’t want to be him or her.
IMissAtlanta
February 6th, 2013
10:33 am
Honestly, buy her a nice purse or shoes while breaking up and it just may make it a little easier on her. For women, well.. I really don’t know how to break up nicely with a guy.
Button
February 6th, 2013
10:33 am
@ disco – lol that could be the case, you could be on to something. Dude is so over this girl. lol
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
10:34 am
This comes from The Bert Show, and the guys Courtside/Robert probably won’t care for this, but thought it interesting and trifling at the same time.
A man was getting married, but his friends didn’t want him to marry the girl so they asked another girl in their circle to sleep with the soon to be groom. Like an idiot, she agreed to help break up the couple. I think more than once (not sure). Two days before the wedding she told the girl, who didn’t believe her. The girl confronted her fiancé and, of course, he denied everything saying she was crazy and a liar. Well, the other woman didn’t take kindly to being called a crazy liar. She sent a private msg to the fiancée via FB with proof of the short affair. The wedding was called off.
Don’t know now much time went by, they got back together and had their wedding. Now, the idiot that tried to break them up has been asked to go to a military ball with another male friend. The married couple will be there. He’s in the military so naturally he will take his wife. The other woman isn’t sure if she should attend. She finally talks herself out of attending. Well, calls started coming into the station saying she should go. No reason for her to shoulder all the guilt, and that she shouldn’t stop living her life because of the mistake. The host of the station feels she should not go because it’s morally wrong what she did and there’s no reason for her to throw up the affair in the now wife’s face by being in their presence. The guy who invited her to the ball isn’t her boyfriend so he thinks she should decline his date offer.
Personally, I think the guy who invited her is setting her up, inviting unnecessary drama to the ball hoping for fireworks once everyone gets liquored up. Whatcha think?
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
10:39 am
I heard that story….I wouldn’t go because I would be so over it of course I wouldn’t have fell for the okie doke and slept with ole but. Buuuuut, I’d be something HOT right about now, if he slept with me and denied and called me crazy. I don’t condone at all, what she did but the saying exists for a reason. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Again, I’m not saying she’s right NOR HIM. He’s just as guilty if not more, for not having the cojones to do the dang thing and break up with her on his own. For that reason, not being a man about it and then denying (like I said it wouldn’t be me….nuh uh), I would be blind with fuy and he would know for certain that I’d been there. I wouldn’t have taken it out on her….but him, Idda burned him alive.
Okay, I was getting all passionate while I typed that….my bad. But yeah, all of them are dummies.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
10:40 am
ole boy, not ole but
disco
February 6th, 2013
10:41 am
geez leggs. I think that was one heck of a long story. lol. aside from that. I think whatever. I’m sure old girl didn’t just get with dude because his boys asked her too. she’d likely been wanting him all along and he obviously had thoughts of getting with her too. can’t imagine he’d jump at some stray booty right before the wedding but then again you never know. as for her being in the wrong, she did her part but she wasn’t engaged. that part was all on him. as for her not going somewhere that the wifey will be. the wifey has dibs on hubs, that’s it. she doesn’t have dibs on the rest of the world. if old girl wants to go then she should have at it. if by chance something jumps off she just has to deal with it.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
10:46 am
Two questions:
1) Is the guy that invited her a part of their circle?
2) Has she ever apologized to the wife for getting with hubby?
disco
February 6th, 2013
10:50 am
courtside – really? apologize to the wife? do you think that’s necessary? lol. especially if the chick and the wife didn’t know one another. even if they did I don’t see the point in that one. I wish the chick who screwed my man before the wedding would apologize to me. i bet you I wouldn’t apologize for popping her in her mouth mid-apology.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
10:51 am
disco ~ after typing it I said WHEW!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
10:57 am
disco, I do not feel she should apologize to satisfy the wife, but it seems as if she has some guilt about her actions and maybe that might help her to look at herself in the mirror…. All in all, sounds like she is being played by everybody and might just nned to tell all of them to Fugg Off, and find her a new set of friends….
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:04 am
with friends like ol’ dudes who needs enemies. That story is wrong on so many levels. Do they not like his future wife that bad enough to break up his pending nuptials? The girl should not go to the party. Not only will it be morally wrong but c’mon she willingly slept with a guy who she knew was off the market. Sleazy weezy should just stay away.
disco
February 6th, 2013
11:04 am
courtside – I didn’t read it as her being played. I guess because while I know there are some stupid chicks out there I can’t imagine one that daggone stupid. really? screw someone because someone tells you to? I’m not seeing that. I’m thinking she may have already been crushing on him and maybe his boys gassed her up to go for it but I can’t see her just doing it for their sake. I could be wrong though. I do think she’s a drama queen. why else would she be acting like all of this even warrants attention? what’s done is done. if there’s an event you want to attend, go. problem solved. later for everyone else and what they think and their feeling and all that.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
11:06 am
Where is the groom’s guilt in all of this??? The story started out with ole boy not have the cojones to break up because he just didn’t want to marry her. If anybody is at fault he is and she’s running a close second for being just plain stupid. Just because she was hit hard with stupid, does not negate the fact that he’s the center of this mess.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
11:07 am
I’m thinking she may have already been crushing on him and maybe his boys gassed her up to go for it but I can’t see her just doing it for their sake
Cosign…..
disco
February 6th, 2013
11:07 am
button – morally wrong? to attend a party? come on now. as far as I’m concerned she wasn’t even really morally wrong for screwing dude. he was engaged, not married. he was a boyfriend (albeit a fiancé) but not a husband. lol. yeah it’s a leap but it’s the truth.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
11:08 am
I wouldn’t go because I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near any of them, but if she wants to go, she should get dolled up and do the dang thing…lol
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
11:12 am
I heard that woman call in this morning. It sounds to me like she can’t handle going to the ball and seeing them. Since she’s already apprehensive about it, she should just stay away. I agree that she shouldn’t let them stop her from going if she really wants to go, but sounds to me like she really doesn’t want to…
disco
February 6th, 2013
11:15 am
bluz – and that’s why I said she sounds like she’s an attention seeking drama queen. lol.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
11:15 am
This may not apply to any of you ladies, But believe it or not, there are a TON of women that are taking it high and hard for lesser reasons than that!!! In fact I know of a woman in my distant circle that hooked up with a coach so that somebody elses son could get on the field!!! She would come back and joke about his lack of …everything, but she kept laying it out there for a whole football season so her godson could keep on missing tackles!!!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
11:18 am
I sure wouldn’t want to put myself in that situation…By going, I think I’d be inviting drama and the wife wouldn’t be wrong if she came up and punched me in the face!!!
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:19 am
why not disco? they both were in the wrong and to go to the ball being in the same room, just imagine the tension in the air. With the drinks in tow something is surely to pop off.
Albert
February 6th, 2013
11:19 am
There isn’t any good way to break up. Being nice doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:21 am
she’s already apprehensive about going – guilty much!.
Dirty Birds We are in trouble
February 6th, 2013
11:21 am
Good Morning All!
I can’t think of a good way to break-up with someone. Being honesty about why you want to leave may help the other person accept the break-up a little easier.
Note to self… Do not break-up with Disco and ask her to cook dinner at her home. Bring dinner, hit it real good one last time, moved to Brazil then e-mail her and state it’s my fault.
I am not sure about the moral dilemma occurring at a dance. What happened is in the past, just like breaking up we must have the ability to let it go and moved forward in life.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
11:26 am
Just because she was hit hard with stupid, does not negate the fact that he’s the center of this mess.
Exactly. He slept with her because he wanted to already disrespecting his fiance. I know, I know, many say men get with other women and is has no bearing on respecting their woman. BS!
disco
February 6th, 2013
11:27 am
bluz – the wife would be wrong if she came up and punched you unprovoked. her window of opportunity for a free beatdown done passed.
button – why not what? life is short. I don’t know these people or where they live. some communities are small. they are going to cross paths. they just have to deal with it.
dirty bird – you are crazy. lol.
disco
February 6th, 2013
11:30 am
actually I was skipping all over dude being wrong because apparently wifey doesn’t care. she took him back. it is what it is. she’s probably been taking him back the whole relationship and is probably one of those chicks that thinks he’ll change after the wedding. sucks to be her.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
11:30 am
I’m glad some of you heard the story to validate my facts weren’t wrong. Yeah, she’s apprehensive on attending, but you willingly slept with him to break them up, they got married anyway, go on with your life. But, if she goes, I think she’s going to regret it. Not only that, why go somewhere you know you are going to be uncomfortable with the entire evening? Girl, get a good book, some bon bons and stay home.
I’ve been to one of those military balls. Ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. Boatloads of alcohol.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
11:33 am
I agree that the wife would be wrong to go up and punch her, but you never know what could happen in the heat of the moment. I wouldn’t want to take that risk to be embarrassed in public…
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:33 am
Life’s answer to everything – just deal with it!
Dirty Birds We are in trouble
February 6th, 2013
11:38 am
Excellent point Disco..Wifey took dude back. End of story.
@Courtside the scenerio you describe is bigtime here in the ATL, especially when it comes to down to playing sports. Women will do somethings in order for the kid to play.
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:38 am
the woman is vindictive or had a hidden agenda. She slept with a man to break up wedding. what did she think, that he was going to continue to see her or even marry her?
Button
February 6th, 2013
11:41 am
Wife took dude back and he married HER so it didn’t work, his friends plans fell thru. I wonder though, does he still hang with that circle of friends.
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
11:57 am
What’s up Gang!!
Leggs, I tuned in late to the Bert Show, so I was wondering what folks were calling in about. Sounds like chick is a ish starter! If she really felt bad about the whole thing, it would not have even been in question. And obviously she is still keeping up with what’s going on with dude, because how would she know for a fact the married couple is going to be at the ball? She was feeling dude just like Disco said. And she likes to keep mess going, there are a lot of folks like that. Just messy!
Button
February 6th, 2013
12:02 pm
Letter writter in distress, your thoughts? This is not me – here goes —I have gotten myself into a delicate dilemma. I have just become engaged to a man I love and adore. The problem is I have been faking it (the O) for two years. We don’t live together now and because of our schedules, we only have schex about once a month. It is amazing. I love our closeness and connection. I appreciate that he can go for hours and doesn’t want to stop until he has fully satisfied me. But, the truth is, I am satisfied with one O and I just can’t seem to have more than one. I tried telling him that, but he wants to please me. So, to make him happy and to move things along, I started faking. Sometimes up to seven fake Os a session. What am I going to when we are married, living together, and (presumably) making love more often? I can’t continue this deception every night. Do I admit to my “Harry” the truth? Or do I keep up the pretense? I wish I had never started down this path and had been honest from the beginning.
Dirty Birds Try to Rise-up
February 6th, 2013
12:04 pm
@Kimmie I believe they are all in the military.
I have a question for the Wise Diva. With all this information you have gather, how is your dating life going? I would expect you to be married by now, or are you a playa like BluzGirl?
Dirty Birds Try to Rise-up
February 6th, 2013
12:07 pm
To my comments from yesterday! Women are good actresses…That is why insect man got duped into marrying the Gold Digger. See a man ego is blown up when he knows he is satifing his women in the bedroom.
Why women, Why must you fake it? Disco do not fake it on me! lol
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
12:09 pm
Dirty…what makes you think I’m a playa?
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
12:14 pm
Honesty is the best policy in the bedroom, especially if you plan to marry the dude…
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
12:16 pm
Dirty/Button – Actually this sounds a whole lot like the Bug man situation!LOL!!! Read in the letter where she says “I tried telling him”. Just like Bug man knew what time it was, this dude does too. Button, I think she should not worry anymore about it since she tried telling him. Since they are only doing it about once a month right now, she’s probably thinking she’s got to make the whole experience mind-blowing since it’s gonna be another month before it happens again. It’s a different ballgame when they are living together and doing it regular. Some days won’t be a drawn-out session, you just getting it in. He might not even have the stamina he has now during those once-a-month sessions. She’s gonna have to tell dude to chill and take it easy and remind him what she tried to tell him earlier. And quit the faking! She can ease up on it, not make a big issue of it. She’s getting herself worked up over nothing.
disco
February 6th, 2013
12:35 pm
how come I just thought of harlem nights. remember when old boy got with sunshine and called home and told his kid to put your mother on the phone. lol. I guess that’s one way to go.
Single & Happy
February 6th, 2013
12:41 pm
Hey all
Clearly, sleeping with someone else or sending a random text message does not qualify as painless. What about when the random text is tell you they’re sleeping with someone else (LOL)
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
12:56 pm
Just realized I didn’t comment on the topic:
There is no one-size-fits-all way to break up. It depends on the circumstances. But just remember, if you are all stank and cold about it, that could come back to haunt you one day.
I didn’t think that video couple break-up thing was cute, by the way.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
1:35 pm
Dirty ~ I think that’s such a disservice to the kid to sleep with coach so they can get play time. If the kid doesn’t have talent, they really shouldn’t be on the team. Now, if the kid got on the team before anyone slept with anyone, then the coach should play the kid. He picked him for the team!
kimmie ~ I was wondering if you were listening. After accepting the date with the guy, she found out a week later that they would be there. BUT, the person who asked her is in the military and the now husband is in the same branch so logical deduction is that he would be there. She had to have thought that when she accepted = isht starter…gotcha!
Dirty ~ she’s the only one not in the military. The wife married into the military.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
1:40 pm
“…we only have schex about once a month. It is amazing. I love our closeness and connection ” – This is an easy one (to me). Just tell him you’re fine with one O and if he keeps pounding away, you’re going to kick him out the bed (lol). Seriously, just tell him you don’t mind the long sessions, just don’t expect that O each time. Not that I talk sex with a lot of my friends, but at this moment I don’t know anyone who climaxes 7x.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
1:41 pm
O/T ~ haven’t had a Blimpe sandwich in years. Now, I remember why! Thank goodness I used a $1.00 off coupon…uuggh!
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
1:44 pm
Leggs – Yeah I agree about the 7 times. That’s just unrealistic. If dude was not so focused on trying to be Superman and paying attention to what she tried to tell him, he would realize that. Both of them are stupid if you ask me.
Button
February 6th, 2013
1:50 pm
lol…some men really believe they came make a women O mulitple times.
Button
February 6th, 2013
1:52 pm
Another letter – this is not me — Miscarriage With My Ex: I broke up with my boyfriend three weeks ago after I found out that he had been cheating on me. We had been together about a year, but did not live together. I knew he was not right for me and we were not going to end up married, but still, the infidelity and accompanying lies really stung. In the weeks leading up to the split, I suspected I was pregnant (I was) but didn’t say anything to him because things were so difficult between us. A few days after we broke up, I miscarried. It was devastating. Even though I know he would not have been an ideal father, and I definitely didn’t set out to get pregnant, I still wanted the baby and now feel a sense of loss mixed with relief and guilt. My question is, should I tell my ex about the miscarriage? Some of my friends say he has the right to know.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
1:56 pm
kimmie ~ I burst out laughing. He has to know she’s faking. He has to detect a “tired” moan and holla somewhere in there. And 7 O’s the sheets should be soaked!
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:00 pm
Button – Right to know so he can do/say what? What will it change to make all parties situation better? If she’s concerned about his “rights” then the time to be concerned was when she found out she was preggers. Maybe the kid wasn’t his, something she’s not telling? Because unless things were so bad he was threatening to kill her or something, she should have told him up front. Go to therapy and deal with your thoughts and let him kick rocks.
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:01 pm
Leggs – I lol’d at that too!! They must be youngsters!
Robert
February 6th, 2013
2:05 pm
@Button – Never tell any Man or Woman about your past experiences. If a Man really loves you he does not care about your past. That is a fact.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:08 pm
Button, She should take the time needed to heal herself…Telling him would only be an attempt to either win him back or inflict some level of hurt on him…. More than likely, he is not going to give a damn, and that will end up being one more insult slammed into her face……
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:08 pm
Robert – She’s reading a letter about someone else. The letter writer had a miscarriage with her exes baby. She’s asking should she tell the ex about the miscarriage.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:10 pm
Ummm…some women can have multiple O’s.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:10 pm
I see no benefit in telling him. You already said he would not have made an ideal father. You didn’t tell him while you were pregnant so no need to have a conscious now that you’ve miscarried. I swear some women deserve to be on Maury.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:12 pm
Bluzgirl… and some men can make sure that said woman can get there…
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:13 pm
Bluz – I think all can have multiples at some point. But 7 on the regular, probably not.
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:14 pm
Bluzgirl way dey do dat at? 7? O’s? I highly doubt it..faking for sure.
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:14 pm
Courtside/Bluz – And this dude obviously aint the man to make it happen if she has to fake it!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:17 pm
I can admit that I’m a lucky one who has many every time. I’ve counted double digits many times. The men I’ve been with have been impressed…
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:18 pm
I wonder what the hell he is taking that he can keep it up while she is on her sixth and seventh fake “O”???
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:19 pm
Bluz…. really….. Do tell……
disco
February 6th, 2013
2:20 pm
bluz – my grandma ‘nem would have called you one of those “white liver” girls. lol.
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:21 pm
Please do tell Bluzgirl
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:22 pm
Bluz ~ we know women can have multiple O’s, but 7. I doubt it! Some of those O’s are FAKE!
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:22 pm
you must be rawed out for sure! not trying to be funny but I’m just saying.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:23 pm
Too funny, I see you guys are saying the same. Had to go back to page 2 to see what I missed.
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:23 pm
Courtside – Maybe they are quick fake O’s!! LOL!!! Cause now I’m wondering how she can last long enough to fake it that much. If it’s real, it’s all good. Faking for long lengths of time sounds painful!!
disco
February 6th, 2013
2:24 pm
in bluz’s defense (and I don’t know your situation bluz) I have heard of chicks that get there not just from doing “it” but from other forms of stimulation as well. you get in one or two from each “gotcha point” and seven is quite doable.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:25 pm
Court…now, now!
When I first talked to my friends about sex, I thought it was normal to have many in a session, but found out that I was the exception and my girlfriends are jealous. I know how lucky I am…It’s funny, though, that the guys think it’s all them. Nope…that’s just how I am!
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:25 pm
there are bursts of feeling good and then there’s an O those are two different things, heck if I count the burst of feeling good then I can count multiples but when I’m in the “mood” I can’t concentrate on counting anything. my mind is on what’s going on. Who does that anyway?
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:27 pm
“I’ve counted double digits many times.” – Bluz, that means 10+!!! Are you kidding me. What damn kind of sex are you having? But let me ask you this, and I’m not trying to be funny. If you’re having that many, do you know what an O really is?
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:27 pm
I swear that I can keep going and going until the guy runs out of steam. It doesn’t take much for me…
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:28 pm
LOL…Dude must spend his off time training with Lance Armstrong!!!!!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:29 pm
Leggs – I promise that I know what an O really is. Most of them are tiny ones, but I’ll have a few big ones. A couple of exes used to like to keep count because they were amazed.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:29 pm
And I ask that because all the oo’s and aah’s don’t mean you’re having an O.
kimmie
February 6th, 2013
2:30 pm
Who does that anyway?
Bluz – Those that are faking it!LOL!!!
It’s funny, though, that the guys think it’s all them.
Bluz – It’s not just funny, it’s hilarious!!!
Disco – You are right, it’s doable in different ways, but it does depend on the woman and how “excitable” she is. I just can’t see how you can fake it THAT much and dude be that oblivious to think he’s knocking it out the park!!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:31 pm
Oh no…I know the feeling very, very well…
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:32 pm
lol @ Leggs….I am about to get into trouble over here.
Bluzgirl you need to make a video or conduct a class.
disco
February 6th, 2013
2:34 pm
kimmie – yeah. I had to lend some credibility to bluz because in my youth I was that chick (hot in the azz as my momma used to say). lol. I was getting it in. I, like bluz, was shocked when talking to other chicks and they weren’t getting it like I was getting it. still you hear some say they can only get it this way, that way or the other way. imagine being the chick that can get it all those ways. it’s on and popping. lol.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:35 pm
LOL Button! I don’t think I have much to teach…it just is what it is. I don’t know how I got this way, but have always been this way.
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:36 pm
Bluzgirl — testing your skills—does it shake, clap, rattle, or yank?
Dirty Birds Try to Rise-up
February 6th, 2013
2:36 pm
@Leggs it really is a disservice to the kids. Leggs I started coaching football last year and in order for little Ricky to get playing time, the mother, auntor female friends who is going to take one for little Ricky will have to performed at a SuperBowl level in the Bedroom or little Ricky will continue to ride the bench.
So that’s the secret to Mr. Ex having a stronghold on BluzGirl heart, he is the multi-O maker. lol
I thought all a dude had to do was play an instrument, well I guess I don’t need these Guitar lessons anymore..
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:37 pm
Ok…OK….Since Button asked…I will break down and record it….. (The things I am willing to do for the blog)
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:40 pm
Button – Shake, Quiver, and Yank! LOL!!!
Dirty – Mr. Ex doesn’t have a stronghold on my heart anymore. To be honest, I’ve had better in bed…
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:40 pm
one thing about having an “it” no body knows except the woman. since so many women fake it all the time, men can’t tell so she can say she had 20 and he’ll think he’s doing the darn thing.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:41 pm
Dang…I need to go find me a new FWB!!!
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:42 pm
uh huh really so why do I clap then? hmmm everybody knows the wall clap!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:44 pm
Hey Bluz….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpdurzHfpNY
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:44 pm
I believe every woman probably experiences different sensations…
All I know is that I will see stars several times if the man is really good, or my body will go numb for a minute, until I’m ready to keep going…
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:44 pm
Court…can’t watch Youtube at work…
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:45 pm
lol @ Courtside
disco
February 6th, 2013
2:45 pm
I’m always amazed to hear tales of faking. in the discussions I have with my circle there’s not much faking going on. now, we may grant the occasional “freebie”. you know when you tell dude to hurry up and do him but out and out faking to stroke an ego? never that. i might just have to pat dude on the back and tell him better luck next time.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:46 pm
I only faked with one guy because he was really tiny. I just couldn’t get there cause he couldn’t hit the spot. I was over it, so I faked, jumped off, got dressed, and left!
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:46 pm
Ok, Bluz. It’s your body and you know when you’re having convulsions…You are the exception (lol). I hope you don’t flood the bedroom.
Dirty ~ well, you too are doing a disservice. What a horrible thing to. Why you put the kid on the team if you had no intention of playing him?
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:46 pm
Ok Bluzgirl I’m going to let you have it. I rest my case. But I still want to see pictures, video or a class
Button
February 6th, 2013
2:50 pm
disco not every woman can even have an “it” some reasons are genetics others are psychological. Count youselves special if you can get an “it”.
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:51 pm
LOL! I know there’s a video out there somewhere…the ex fiance probably still watches it all the time!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
2:52 pm
Bluz…can you squirt????
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
2:53 pm
Definitely O/T and I don’t mean to offend, but do men suffer with “penis envy?”
Women don’t suffer with vagina envy, but you know you have a pencil d…, or a stubby one, or a numb. I’ve always wondered if man felt bad (cuz we do).
disco
February 6th, 2013
2:55 pm
leggs – of course they feel bad. thing is they can’t admit to feeling bad because then they’d have to admit to the deficiency and you know they aren’t trying to do that. lol.
Celisea
February 6th, 2013
2:57 pm
Lawd, what in the heck did I just walk in on????
Didn’t we have UGA guy to come on and talk about hitting up the little leaguers mommies? SMH
Alright, I’m back out of here…y’all have a blast!! lol
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
2:57 pm
Ok Court…I’m not answering that one. Some things can be left private!
Dirty Bird (FWB) for BluzGirl
February 6th, 2013
2:58 pm
@Leggs…. I make sure all the kids play. The league I coach in we advocates everyone plays. The women just want to come over and go over the plays I will run for their kids. lol
BluzGirl might be having an O right now! lol
Note to self… Disco is in toon with her inner-self….Nice,very nice!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
3:00 pm
Dirty – you crazy!!! LOL
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
3:01 pm
Leggs, since it looks like I am teh only guy here today, i will speak and say I imagine some do….but I don’t…. Since I am not running around doing ding-a-ling checks, I can not speack to what somebody else is packing, but I am awfully proud of mine…I always stand tall when requested and have never failed to bring the rain when it was time to perform!! ( Plus, I gots that killa tongue action!!!)
Dirty Bird (FWB) for BluzGirl
February 6th, 2013
3:02 pm
Court of course BluzGirl is a squirter, slapper, spanker etc..
@Leggs sometimes you run into a huge cavern and there is nothing you can do with it, but get yours and keep it moving. Unless she gives great u know what then u comeback a few more times.
Button
February 6th, 2013
3:03 pm
I remember reading an article were this woman said she had 100 “it’s” a day without any help. She had a dysfunction that when the seam touched it she automatically had one. Good grief I would be just TIRED!!
Button
February 6th, 2013
3:04 pm
that’s what you say Coutside, but that’s not what I heard LOL
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
3:05 pm
Button – I could NOT handle having that dysfunction. Some people probably think that would be a dream, but no thank you! I stick with what I got in the bedroom!
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:11 pm
Celisea ~ I thought of UGA with Dirty’s post. Dirty has a fitting name!
Button
February 6th, 2013
3:13 pm
Dirty bird you forgot spitter
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
3:14 pm
I promise….I can work the “Button” like there it’s the las supper!!!
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:17 pm
Button ~ I remember reading an article about a woman who had the dysfunction of having countless O’s all day every day. It ruined her life. She committed suicide about 2 months ago. Maybe a little longer than 2 months ago.
Robert
February 6th, 2013
3:23 pm
@Bluzgirl – “I’ve counted double digits many times.”
Once upon a time I had a friend who was a “squirter” and I love to watch her climax. It takes time for a woman to reach that level of pleasure. I was glad to assist her in reaching her climax. She taught me alot about women and what pleases them. A man with a slow hand can give a woman a lot of pleasure if he knows what to do. Most guys know a days don’t take the time to learn a woman’s body and waste a lot of time going through the motion.
Ladies, Men fake the act too just to please their woman especially if she is reluctant to explore different ways of sexual pleasure in the bedroom.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:25 pm
Who thought of The Pointer Sisters with Robert’s post (lol).
A man with a slow hand and can take the southern route will always be given the Red Light Special…love that song!
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:33 pm
SCREECH……
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
3:47 pm
Where’d everyone go? Trying to see how many O’s you can have?
SlimNu - Out from under a rock
February 6th, 2013
3:47 pm
I’m trying to catch up and we have Multi O’s going on…but Leggs you tripped me out asking BLuz if she even knew what an O was lolol
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:51 pm
I think the talk about O’s, doing moms for the kids to play, then penis envy has put a sour taste in some mouths.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
3:54 pm
LOL..@ Leggs…….. Nothing anybody put in their mouth has been sour!!! Unless Button and Bluz are not telling the whole story!!!
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:55 pm
I was just checking, SlimNu. Just checking…..it sounds so farfetched, but I see I was wrong. Freaky deaky disco has the same affliction (lolol)
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
3:55 pm
No offense meant with that post, disco. I was actually laughing, but forgot the LOL
disco
February 6th, 2013
4:01 pm
no offense taken leggs. I wish I could be the old me for one good solid weekend. you wouldn’t be able to tell me nothing. y’all might not even recognize me on the blog. I wouldn’t be disco anymore. I’d be – I don’t know. what’s the cool, hip thing right now? I know it ain’t disco. lol.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
4:07 pm
what’s the cool, hip thing right now? = softness (roflmao).
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
4:10 pm
I would love to have a chance to “rassle” with the old disco…. I bet you were a hand full!!! (Good thing I have BIG, STRONG HANDS)…..
disco
February 6th, 2013
4:13 pm
leggs – I must say that when I typed that I was thinking more along what’s the cool, hip dance right now. you know kids keep you up on that stuff and I don’t spend much time around kids. I’m just an old fogey these days. as for softness (and please no one get offended – it’s just words – lol) one time a friend of mine got broke off real good over the weekend. in trying to explain how good it was she said it was so good that it had her walking around the office like a happy white woman just “good morning sunshine-ing” everybody.
disco
February 6th, 2013
4:20 pm
courtside – I generally shy away from TMI but this one’s for you. there was a guy from my past (teens thru early 20s) who told me way back when that I might have drowned some of those other cats but I couldn’t drown him. who says that? well besides this guy? lol. i saw him a few years ago and asked if he remembered saying that to me. he remembered. lol.
Leggs
February 6th, 2013
4:35 pm
Gotta go…nite!!!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 6th, 2013
4:42 pm
Damn….Its a good thing I am an excellent swimmer!!! Breast stroke is my specialty!!!
Bluzgirl
February 6th, 2013
4:54 pm
Good night ya’ll!!! Gotta go meet some men tonight! LOL