Dating: Nothing good happens after 2am
Have you ever met someone, exchanged phone numbers and then launched a texting relationship? Weeks later and neither of you have made the move to set up plans for face to face time. Yeah. What IS that?
It’s funny because you have these “pseudo” conversations, in an email or through text messages, and it begins to become a deterrent! Is that a sign that there is no real attraction? I think when you start to get the sense that you are being “maintained” with half efforts, it’s time to cut your losses. If you do nothing and let things continue as is, one night, around 2:00 in the morning, you’ll get that random text: “What’s up? Are you busy?” We all know that nothing good happens after 2:00 am, right?
When should you put a stop to the text messages and emails as the sole means of communication? Do you think that getting to know someone via technology can lead you to a false sense of familiarity or security?
How do you handle late night text messages or phone calls?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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166 comments Add your comment
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 5th, 2013
2:26 pm
Kimmie, I never said he was a victim… all I am saying is in most relationships to get 90% of what you want is pretty good.. In fact its great… just not sure if throwing it away to search for the other 10% is so smart…..
disco
February 5th, 2013
2:34 pm
courtside – I kind of agree. after all, you really can’t have everything. if anything I think old girl is just attention seeking and being childish about it in the process by putting old boy down. later for her. she ain’t nobody.
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
2:36 pm
Court, Disco, since she apparently never loved this guy, isn’t that the important 10%. And you know how some people let others influence their lives, never want to disappoint anyone.
Button
February 5th, 2013
2:36 pm
Exile the letter is not about me. I have no weight issues.
disco
February 5th, 2013
2:37 pm
s/h – depends on who you ask. I’m not a romantic so to me that part is not the most important part. old girl likely isn’t a romantic either or maybe she wasn’t when she decided to marry him. she got married on a practical tip and something changed and now she wants more. stuff happens.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
2:38 pm
Courtside – That’s why I said I think she got her percentages wrong and attraction obviously is worth more than 10% to her. I bet it’s worth more than that to most people. Attraction affects too many other things in the relationship for it to have only a 10% weight. I bet if you took a poll of people that felt their marriage was happy, they would probably say they have at least 80% of the qualities they want in a mate. The 20% lacking is not something that’s a dealbreaker.
I didn’t say you said he was a victim. But saying he should be mean and abusive, thus a “bad boy” is victim mentality.
disco
February 5th, 2013
2:39 pm
button – in ex’ defense when you posted the first letter I did think it was a personal post.
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
2:40 pm
Disco, you could be with someone with out loving them? I mean she never loved him at all.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
2:40 pm
disco – Romantic or not, attraction affects intimacy – SEX! I bet most will tell you that’s worth more than 10% of a relationship. It’s certainly enough to make you feel like something MAJOR is missing!
disco
February 5th, 2013
2:45 pm
s/h – kimmie – I’m just saying that a lot of folks marry for a lot of reasons that aren’t love. a lot of women latch on to men because they believe they will make good providers. when faced with the choice of man I love who might not be able to feed me and my kids and man I can tolerate who will, they go with the man that can feed them. sure I know that’s basic and there’s more to it than that. I’m just saying that I understand that love isn’t always an individual’s primary motivation. it doesn’t sound like it was old girl’s motivation. I’m thinking something changed in her life for her situation to all of a sudden be intolerable when it wasn’t that intolerable to begin with.
s/h – exactly what do you mean by be with? lol.
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
2:46 pm
So does love=romance?
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
2:46 pm
Single – Dang, at least some LUST gotta be there for me! Otherwise, we’re just roommates!! Yuck at the thought!!
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
2:48 pm
In a relationship Disco, get your mind out the gutter!! and on your marrying for other reasons, most of the time the end up in the same place as the person that wrote that letter.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
2:52 pm
Disco – I agree a lot marry for different reasons. And alot of times in those instances people do grow closer to each other. I think about folks in arranged marriages. Or yeah, you are a single mother struggling and this nice guy comes along and you give it a shot. I’m just going by the limited info given. I’ve seen, and personally been in, situations where you think you can deal with it because the guy has great qualities. But something just isn’t there and time passing doesn’t help. In fact, everything they do starts to irritate you. She knew he traveled alot and was into that weird meditation when she hooked up with him. Now it’s grating on her nerves!
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:01 pm
Disco..I think some get to love with time..a relationship growing on u…
So if u like a ‘provider’ who may not get uall goose bumped but he provides and u get to marry them and they are providing most of the time,I’m sure that will fire up the love.
What do u think??
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:01 pm
kimmie – this is why I say something must have changed for her. she knew what she was getting. she chose to accept it as it was. not saying there’s nothing wrong with him but he’s not the one writing letters complaining. she is.
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:03 pm
Now…I ‘on know if Gold diggers Fall in love though or they just fall in love with the money,as long as it is available.
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:05 pm
ex – where I come from folks say if you feed a kid long enough he’ll start to look like you. some folks want to love who they want to love. others are willing/able to love the ones that love them. there are a lot of different kinds of people in this world. some women would be perfectly content in a loveless relationship with a man who was good to them. still other women are perfectly content in an abusive relationship with men who treat them like crap.
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
3:14 pm
Disco, I’ve heard that about a kid, and I know that’s a lie!! (LOL)
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:17 pm
One woman’s crap is Another’s warm embrace and Ding dong at nite!
Usually and most times,the woman without, will recognize some other woman’s crap but not her own smelly crap thats keeping men away her.
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:17 pm
from her
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:23 pm
s/h – that’s why it’s simply a figure of speech. still, I’m sure you get the meaning behind it.
Single and Happy I tried, I really tried!! (LMAO)
February 5th, 2013
3:25 pm
Yea disco, just another one of those dumb sayings
Dirty Burds Rise-Up
February 5th, 2013
3:30 pm
The scenerio about marrying the nice guy is BS. She knew he made a lot of money and could take care of financially. Dude did not know she did was not wowed by him. She led dude to believe she loved him I don’t buy dude knew I am sure quite a few gold diggers recognize dude was going to make a lot of cheese. Women like that do not deserve a good dude.
The snobbish women needs to get a new snobbish boyfriend. Dude should run right now. C’mon man!
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
3:33 pm
disco – I’ve heard that saying! LOL!!
I am a firm believer in keeping alot of things to yourself, and affairs of the heart are one of those things. I don’t want to hear anyone elses opinion about why I should or should not be with a certain man. Nobody knows what’s going on in your house or at least they shouldn’t. They don’t have to deal with the situation, you do. Nobody has anything to say about the countless folks in loveless marriages that choose to stay and stick it out. Everyone isn’t up to that, yet people are hard on them when they chose not to settle. Eff everyone else, until they walk in your shoes their opinion does not matter!
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:35 pm
dirty – I will say that it is quite likely that dude knew she wasn’t into him like that. sad truth is that a lot of guys don’t care. especially the guys that were down a little bit on the totem pole and never thought they had a chance at the “hot chick”. yep, those guys will go with the program because they feel like they finally have the prize. it’s like redemption. lol.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
3:35 pm
Dirty – Can you tell when a woman is not into you, faking it?
Dude isn’t stupid, you can only fake for so long.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
3:37 pm
Disco – your 3:35, real talk!
Dirty Burds Rise-Up
February 5th, 2013
3:43 pm
@Disco…Some women are great actresses. They have been told by momma and grandma get the with the one who will take care of you. She is trying to reduce her guilt. I bet she has cheated on dude already.
@Kimmie. Yes I can tell when a woman is not into me, that usually comes when we are about to break-up or I am about to leave. The dude is probably worrying now about how much money he has to pay this gold digger to get out of his life. His passion is insects not her, he just wanted a wife and he got a gold digger.
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:44 pm
@Disco..it’s not that those dudes don’t care but that ‘hot’ chics who go for money will do thangs to ‘deficient’ dude,faking it, so much so that dude will see the performance as proof thst she lubs him.
When a gold digger sees money,she will leave ‘no ball unturned’ lol (that’s an original by the way)
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:45 pm
@Disco..that’s to ur 3:35!
Celisea
February 5th, 2013
3:45 pm
Without having read since I left this morning, I’m guessing calling some woman (what woman, I don’t know), snobbish is more of a projection than fact. Whatever the situation is, I guess it’s okay to paint ideas and opinions on what you think happened but to not know and call a woman snobbish off the rip is, just wow. She’s probably a good woman and he’s probably an even better man….just a bad situation.
Celisea
February 5th, 2013
3:46 pm
I’m too lazy to go back and read…
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:46 pm
dirty – I had a grandmother (great-grandmother actually) who always said be with the man that wants to be with you as opposed to the one you want to be with. frankly, I wasn’t checking for that advice. the way I saw it, he was getting what he wanted and I might have been getting the short end of the stick.
dirty – quit trying to feel sorry for dude. I don’t think she played him. I think she went along with his program. he knew, just like she knew, what their relationship was based on. of course, this is just disco’s opinion. I don’t know these folks.
Celisea
February 5th, 2013
3:47 pm
They have been told by momma and grandma get the with the one who will take care of you. She is trying to reduce her guilt. I bet she has cheated on dude already.
Whoa and wow
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
3:47 pm
His passion is insects not her
Exiled/Dirty – I do not feel one bit sorry for dudes that allow themselves to get played like that!! Other than one of those dumb athletes or rappers, how can you be so smart in some ways and so dumb in others? They should be able to see that golddigger coming a mile away. They are usually so obvious to everyone but the bearer of the “gold”!LOL!!!
Celisea
February 5th, 2013
3:49 pm
I see I came back at a little past moist thirty…..lololol
Alright, back to work. My hair won’t hold up in moistness…lololol Just funning b/n/r
disco
February 5th, 2013
3:49 pm
ex – I beg to differ. a real hot chick who gets with a lower tier fellow really doesn’t have to bring her A game. dude is just happy to be with her and all she has to do is stroke his piddly little ego a bit. it’s kind of like the oldhead dude who lands a young girl. sometimes it’s just about the arm candy. he wants to show his boys (and convince himself) he can still pull. he doesn’t care that he has to pay rent and a car note for an apartment and a car that don’t belong to him. now a nice looking dude with some money and a run of the mill gold digger, sure, she might have to open a bag of tricks. I don’t think the situations are the same though.
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
3:53 pm
Well I didn’t read the story lol I just jumped in
Now @Kimmie…why u say dude ‘allowed’ himself to be played. Was chic showing gold digger traits from jump?
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
3:59 pm
Disco – I have a friend who will give you the shirt off your back if you needed it – but is otherwise the very definition of high maintenance! She’s pretty, but the guy she married is probably the last one you would think she would be with. He’s nice-looking in the face, but very overweight and a bit on the country side. Dude is in computers and makes serious bank. He acts like he literaly struck gold with her, like he got something he was not supposed to have! She married him because I’m sure most guys would not put up with her high-browed demands, but he does and he’s the one that asked!
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
4:00 pm
@Disco..a ‘real hot’ to me at least is a chic with beauty and mega watt brains…and brains that trump dude….that wld be my def of real hot.
Most hot chics are dumb by my intelligence..they are only hot in physical configurations…like blondes,if u will.
Now a hot dumb chic that has been in the game long,knows some tricks of the biaatch game can even fool me…ur not so dumb guy. Coz I ain’t game to ho tricks.
So I aint feeling u on that Disco.. Lol
Dirty Burds Rise-Up
February 5th, 2013
4:00 pm
@Kimmie…No you can’t see Gold Diggers coming from a mile away. Some Gold Diggers are hard to spot. She probably hid the fact about her gold digging was. Dude was busy studing beetles at the time. Now that is The President of Insects are Human too club she does not want him.
@Kimmie..U know why I say she faked him. We all know that some women fake orgasm, faking like she was in love with dude probably was 2nd nature. I bet she faked that too.
@Disco both men and women get tricked into believing they’re signification other loves me. Then when they find one little insect flaw and he cannot ignite the fire, then they start with, oh I am missing the 10 percent in my marriage.WTH
Hopefully he can get a good lawyer where he will not have to split his money with her gold digging azz.
@
Leggs
February 5th, 2013
4:02 pm
“…but he doesn’t take the hint and consistently sticks his foot in his mouth and insults my friends by explaining common knowledge concepts to them. I believe he thinks it makes him sound intelligent” – Guys like that start sounding like jailhouse babble. Always talking trying to come across as being smart with you wanting to flick them off like a gnat circling your ear…constantly running their mouths leaving people wondering WTH did he just say and why?
Button ~ tell him to relax when around your friends. He always wanting to “prove” something or another to them always has him coming across as weak, insecure. Tell him to take time to talk with his ears. Meaning, let someone else carry the convo and then piggy back on what he hears, not what he thinks they’re saying thereby undercutting them.
Hi Mrs. SC!. You’re absolutely right, a married, separated man is in no position to make any demands. I laughed at one just last week.
Now, you guys are running your mouth. I have to go back and catch up.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
4:02 pm
Exiled – I’m just going by the story given – she said dude knew from jump she was not attracted to him and they had a problem in that area. That’s why I said allowed.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
4:04 pm
jailhouse babble
Leggs – I’m thinking one of the Wayans on In Living Color!LOL!!
Exiled!
February 5th, 2013
4:07 pm
@Kimmie…I guess I can agree with u there.
I can’t see myself persisting with a chic that moufs in my face that ‘I ain’t attracted to u’
I will end it right there!
But I can see how a low on the totem pole dude(Disco expression) wld want to have a taste,for self esteem sake.
It’s like placing a short dude on a booster seat.
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
4:07 pm
Dirty – You are hilarious!!LOL!! President of Insects Are Human Too!LOL!!!!
Dirty Burds Rise-Up
February 5th, 2013
4:07 pm
@Kimmie…She is lying to make herself feel better. She wants some of those insects I mean assets from dude. If this was the case she would walk away no harm no foul. Then dude can married a hot scientist who is into insects. lol
Jake-SPJTWB
February 5th, 2013
4:08 pm
Wait, What?? Ya’ll stealing other blogs topics these days….how is everybooty, body?
kimmie
February 5th, 2013
4:11 pm
It’s like placing a short dude on a booster seat