Dating: Dial back the crazy
I have been blogging about dating and relationships for a long time – yet somehow I am still amazed at the amount of crazy misadventures that happen in Atlanta. Many of these dating misadventures play out on radio – specifically Q100’s The Bert Show. Their entire bit about “closure calls” alone is enough to send you back to your sofa on Saturday nights.
People call into the show to ask for help in tracking down the guy or girl who pulled that oh so lovely disappearing act (my personal favorite!) without “closure”. The thing about closure though, it should not even matter so much. Why do you need to know the reason they bailed? The fact that they are gone is not enough?! But, I digress.
One recent closure called involved a woman who could not figure out why the guy she was seeing never called her back. Sure, he was engaged to be married while she foolishly believed he truly wanted to be with her.
She actually wanted to know why he did not come back for her after he broke off his engagement. You’re probably already guessing how his closure call went down: He was never interested in a relationship with her. It was just sex to him. The end.
I wish I could say this doesn’t happen often but sadly it does. Women confuse love and sex. Men take full advantage of no strings attached sex – except there are strings, lots and lots of strings. People feel entitled to get what they want and get angry when they don’t get it.
When it comes to dating, it’s time to dial back the crazy admit that sometimes you have to charge it to the game. If things are not going the way you want them to and you decide to stick around, you can’t play victim.
Why do you think so many people confuse love and lust? Have you ever felt the need to get an explanation as to why someone bailed on you?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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129 comments Add your comment
Robert
February 4th, 2013
3:38 pm
@disco – “I’ve been known to ignore the doorbell simply because I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
I will not ring the doorbell and disturb you. I will use my door keys in let myself in. I will wake you up and ask you to join me in eating a late nite snack (chinese food and chicken wings). Hopefully this will cheer you up and put you in a good mood.
disco
February 4th, 2013
3:40 pm
Robert – now you really got me stuck because I am not the chick that gives out door keys. no male unrelated to me has ever had a key to my house. EVER. i cringe at the thought. heck naw.
DuShawn
February 4th, 2013
3:50 pm
@Celisea – “you agree with me most of the time….. ” you got jokes. You know good and well we are typically on different sides of every issue. Each writer’s opinion or position on a given subject is formulated by their life experiences. I believe or journeys are extremely different. However, today your comments are slightly more palatable. Either you reading me has made you cooler or me reading you has made me more of a lame.
disco
February 4th, 2013
3:52 pm
oooh dushawn. what you trying to say? you and celisea rubbing off on each other?
Robert
February 4th, 2013
3:52 pm
@For Real – “Robert: We go cut off but like I was saying…”
Robert: Listen honey, you know I demand respect because I give you the same thing, respect.
Robert: I will never let you go. You belong to me.
Robert: I will use my house keys and let myself in.
Robert: I am on my way, do you need anything before I get there?
Woman: No honey, just hurry-up.
Robert: OK, see you soon baby.
abc
February 4th, 2013
3:52 pm
I didn’t read up on all the comments, been busy today… I only commented on the topic. But yeah, that’s what it sounds like to me, and how I relate it to my own experiences, especially if I’m doing the walking. A few chicks have been like what what? You don’t walk away from good lookin, money makin, sweetheart little ol me like that! How bout we key the car, scream and yell, keep it up for awhile (and confirm for me that distance with quickness is actually the best course)?
Just per the topic. Your mileage may vary.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
3:53 pm
Dushawn – Either you reading me has made you cooler or me reading you has made me more of a lame
Correction: Either you reading me has made you more humane or me reading you has made me more crass. Seriously dude? You think the stuff you post is “cool?” Or you think folks agreeing with what you post makes it right and okay? Well, if not agreeing with using folks like old dust rags and lauging about it is lame, then so be it
I will say, I did laugh though at your 3:50. And I post this with nothing but blog church hugs. No hate or disdain here. Just don’t see eye to eye.
disco
February 4th, 2013
4:02 pm
celisea – did you just say using folks like old dust rags? well alright-y then. lol.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:03 pm
disco – Yuuup…. Y’all know y’all get Dushawn all gassed with the “cute stories” and “okay, since you’ve reformed” and “at least you’re honest” comments.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:04 pm
The more he’s gassed up the more stories he tells. Too, he’s just mad my stories are longer than his….lolololol Ain’t he the one that complained a couple of times on my long posts but always posting a book? At least 4 or 5 per page?
DuShawn
February 4th, 2013
4:06 pm
@Celisea – You think the stuff you post is “cool?” No, but it’s real. My delivery may be a little “crass”, but hey, I often find your comments extremely pretentious and they reek of “Goodie Two Shoeness”. I never see eye to eye with square broads. It comes as no surprise that we have different views. (Church hug back at you, with a little grind and slight azz squeeze)
disco
February 4th, 2013
4:08 pm
C – you crazy. I’m tickled by dushawn because he is like a male version of me. like we could be related or from the same hood or something. we relate. lol. as for him being reformed, I don’t buy that. it’s like with addiction, he’s just coping one day at a time. that pre-today dushawn is still up in there.
dushawn – did you say “goody two shoeness”? LOL. omg. the two of you are too much. lol.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:11 pm
Dushawn – Boy stop…I just laughed out loud for real. I’m happy with my squareness.
Don’t let the smooth taste (i.e. Good Two Shoed squared broad) fool you. I’m still laughing. And btw, my besties are Ques, so you ain’t posting nothing I don’t know, know about or haven’t learned. I just chose to take the high road. Nothing pretentious about me boo. My experiences are posted….the ut ohs, the almosts, the shouldn’t haves, the glad I dids and the happy to be me…. While it may seem unbelievable to you, sorry you only know one side of the coin. Maybe you should broaden your horizons and get out more and see the whole world…not just your world 
disco
February 4th, 2013
4:12 pm
celisea and dushawn – I’m still sitting here cracking up at y’all. how come I just thought beauty and the beast? lol.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:14 pm
disco – Nice play on words. If you were a man, I’d guess you and Dushawn were identical…..lolololol Since you’re female, I’ll just say y’all have kindred spirit
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:16 pm
And I’ll let you have that azz squeeze. Usually that’s reserved for my boo
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 4th, 2013
4:43 pm
Afternoon Peeps!!! Hope everyone had a great weekend…
O/T… Like some have already said, I have think seeking closure is way overrated and never accomplishes anything. I remember once I was sitting at a girl I was seeings crib, and she said something that jsut set me off.. I sat there and stewed for a minute and when she went to the bathroom, I got up and left…. did not say a work just left… In fact I did not even close teh door. She called for a couple of days and finally i agreed to swing by a talk about it with her. We ended up having this huge argument that led to unbelievable make-up sex…. When she got up and got in the shower, I left again…….
DuShawn
February 4th, 2013
4:45 pm
Celisea – I’ve seen both worlds. I know how yall squares get down………boring as hell. I honestly think you’re a sweet green chick. I really hope you find you a nice lame dude and continued happiness in your squareness. That’s not the path the most high had in store for me, Thank God. I’m a life liver. Just like you and your “boo” may enjoy a day at the museum discussing art, I’d rather party all night with the girls that have girlfriends, and the hustlers, pimps and hoes.
Button
February 4th, 2013
4:45 pm
Exile, I’m exhused!
Ravens Rise-Up
February 4th, 2013
4:48 pm
@Disco can I have an azz squeeze? I know it juicy…lol
Button and Halo46 I was just kidding please come back tomorrow and share. I had an experience when I was 18yrs where I wanted closure, that last additional another 6 months. I learned a lesson from that experience to let them go! Now thru out the rest of my relationships their was no need for closure because both parties already knew the end was coming. I usually made the first move.
disco
February 4th, 2013
4:51 pm
raven – I am not the one giving out azz squeezes.
courtside – old girl messed up letting you come over to talk. she didn’t learn the lesson of first time shame on you. lol.
dushawn – newsflash – it’s not 1972 and you are not the mack.
DuShawn
February 4th, 2013
4:54 pm
Disco – Gurl..you better get wit this pimpin……Try it out….lol
DuShawn
February 4th, 2013
4:58 pm
This mack pimp is about to go pick up his kids from aftercare, spend two hours on homework, cook dinner, and be under the covers snoring by ten o’clock.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
4:58 pm
Dushawn – Once again, I take all of that as a compliment.
Too bad I ain’t a ho, huh? And btw, my world ain’t two-sided like you just indicated yours is. I’m familiar with your world. Nothing to that and nothing appealing. Threesomes, hoes, parties, dranking, hustling, doping 
Age forty plus at that??? Ummm, I’d think not ANNND I’d rather take a pass! My kid’s dad is from your world. I gracefully took a pass. So, you should know, folks that OPT to live different ain’t missing out on life. We’re just not living YOUR life. Let’s just agree that our definition of living ain’t exactly squared (there’s that word again). Get out and rub up against some other stuff before you deem your life the be all that ends all.
But you do you and I’ll do me….and still no hate boo…
Night folks!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
February 4th, 2013
4:59 pm
disco, when I agreed to go over so we could talk, I knew two things for sure:
1. Nothing was gonna change…
2. If she slipped up just a bit, I was gonna do all the things I use to ask and she would not agree to. 3. Once I was done, I was leaving! no explinations to be given.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
5:04 pm
And after a day or boogheness, we still come home and get nekkid. lolololol That is if the set up is right. If my kid is there, then we don’t disrobe
Now, night!
disco
February 4th, 2013
5:07 pm
celisea – and between me and you I don’t even think that’s dushawn’s world. that’s the world dushawn wanted to be a part of back when he was dreaming of patchwork leather trench coats and Cadillac broughams.
courtside – no need to explain to me. I already said old girl played herself.
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
5:14 pm
disco – lolololol…. It’s just beyond me that a person over 40 with kids, still thinks fast liveing is “THE LIFE TO BE HAD!” Again, just cause some of us women choose to be descrete, live discretly and not blab everything don’t mean we’re living under a rock. I know for certain if I posted something skank on here, I’d be the blog’s ho. And sorry boo (Dushawn), frankly I gots nothing…lolol I think Dushawn is holding on to a time that’s slipping away. Shoot, age will bring about the change if you can’t embrace change. I could be mistaken, but I thought Dushawn remarked that he now resembles Cliff Huxtable? At least I thought he and one or two others used Cliff as their current model. Maybe my recollection is off
Celisea
February 4th, 2013
5:14 pm
living not liveing….what was I thinking?? lolol