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Dating: Are you a snob?

When it comes to dating, some of us have a sense of entitlement. We feel entitled to date the hottest, wealthiest, most eligible singles. We feel that we deserve the best because we are the best. This kind of attitude shows up in how we interact with people.

There is nothing wrong with having standards but there is such a thing as being a snob. Do people know the difference? I don’t know if people even realize when they are being a dating snob. This can be a problem to men because they meet snobby women all the time. Women who scrutinize their income, career, and even their cars.

How do you handle dating snobs? Do you recognize one when you meet one? Are you guilty of being one? What is the difference between having standards and acting like a dating snob?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

75 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

February 1st, 2013
7:30 am

Hey all

How do you handle dating snobs? Move on to the next one!

Do you recognize one when you meet one? Yes

Are you guilty of being one? No

There is nothing wrong with having standards but there is such a thing as being a snob. Do people know the difference? I don’t know if people even realize when they are being a dating snob. Most people don’t realize their faults because they are to busy criticizing others! So know they wouldn’t realize the difference!

What is the difference between having standards and acting like a dating snob? I think this is a very very very thin line! While you probably won’t date every that asks you out because they are not not your type. When you start to say someone doesn’t meet,or they are below your standards for whatever reason, you’re very close to being a dating snob!

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
9:16 am

NOPE! Never have been one.

Morning!

hazel1

February 1st, 2013
9:23 am

everyone should have standards because we can. Having standards also makes dating easier because you weed out a lot of folks that are not your type.
I personally think us women can have who ever they want and they are the ones with the upper hand. I’m guilty of being a snob and I blame that on my cultureIindian) and upbringing. However, I also looked at it as me having a choice. The negative was I never found anyone good enough but I refused to compromise. And eventually I did find the exact one without compromising and I’m happily married. It’s not good to be a snob as it can back fire very easily though.

MsAtl

February 1st, 2013
9:29 am

Morning All!

I do have standards but I am not a dating snob. I know some attorneys who will date only men that they believe are on par with them (doctors, attorneys, etc). I think this borders on being a dating snob. I am more concerned with your personality and character. For instance, you do not have to drive a Bentley, but at least have a running car.

It’s fine to have standards, but you should have the ability to distinguish between standards and snobbery and to determine whether your “standards” are attainable.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
9:30 am

How do you handle dating snobs?- Let them be!

Do you recognize one when you meet one? – I certainly do. When someone acts like they’re better than I am, and give the air of “doing me a favor” or even “tolerating” me, I let them be!

Are you guilty of being one? – Never, I love people too much to be a snob! I’d rather assist than dismiss.

What is the difference between having standards and acting like a dating snob? – Having standards is exhibiting good character and showing respect for those you come into contact with. To act like a dating snob shows you’re of the mindset that the world is a better place simply because you were born, constantly talking about yourself and making demands all with your nose in the air! Being snobbish on where you would be seen at, constantly looking down on your date’s attire, to name a few. A snob loves to use the word “hrrmmpph” (lol).

hazel1

February 1st, 2013
9:36 am

MsAtl: What if that friend can find someone who is up to her standards and is a nice person who will love her unconditionally? Wouldn’t that be good for her? I look at it as again, having a choice. If I can eat fresh salmon, why do I want to eat canned tuna? I don’t want the bentley but I do want a dependable Toyota tho, just sayin : )

MsAtl

February 1st, 2013
9:44 am

hazel1- If she can find someone who is up to her standards, is a nice person, and can love her unconditionally, that is great. I think that is what we all want on some level. The difference is in how you treat people. I don’t treat people like they are “beneath” me and would not accept a date merely because one is a doctor or attorney nor turn down a date merely because one is a blue collar worker.

I am feeling you on the dependable; no argument there.

Single and Happy

February 1st, 2013
9:47 am

If you’re complaining about not finding the right one, but constantly dismissing people because they don’t fit your “standards”, you might be a snob!

disco

February 1st, 2013
9:54 am

good morning. ooh yes. I can be (translation probably am) a dating snob. lol. for instance when folks call me shallow for preferring certain physical characteristics I do feel entitled because I feel my body is on point. settling for less is settling for less. I’m not a snob for things like cars or income though I do require a man to have a car and a decent income. lol. I wasn’t raised to be a snob but I guess it just worked out that way.

disco

February 1st, 2013
9:57 am

btw – the folks that I “judge” re being dating material for me are judged based on that alone – being dating material for me. I’m not necessarily judging them on the whole. the 45 year old man with 6 kids by 4 women who lives with his momma and works part time at the neighborhood car wash may very well be a great guy. he’s just not the guy I want to date. if a friend calls me saying “ooh girl I want to hook you up” and then gives me those stats my inner snob rears up and says “naw. I’ll pass on this one”.

hazel1

February 1st, 2013
9:58 am

@MsAtl: Gotcha and I agree 100% . From that perspective, no one is above anyone or beneath because of what they do. It’s all about the inside.

disco

February 1st, 2013
10:36 am

if I didn’t know any better I’d say everyone has become blog snobs. done got all brand new and are now too good for the blog. hmmmph. some people.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
10:49 am

hmmmph – told you they like this word.

disco ~ you put that there just for me, didn’t you (rofl)?

Celisea

February 1st, 2013
11:00 am

If I had to be pegged as a snob, it would be in the area of a man’s character over and above what he possesses materialistically. I mean, I believe at some point material and character will become reflective, one of the other (if y’all understand), but off the rip, if you’re running a deficit in the character department, I’m not dealing with you….period. You trash women, spend your wheels slumming and scrapping the bottom of the barrel, just so you can feel ten feet tall, always looking for an entrance, so forth and so on and etc etc etc…lolol Nuh uh!!

Now, if it’s a matter of him being a great guy (and I use that loosely), and ran into some issues, still don’t think I can do that either. Not to contradict myself, but if you’re “around” my age and still tryna get it together, that’s not acceptable either. Not knocking your “great guy-dom”, IJS. Now, if you had a business or something and it tanked, the bottom fell out, I dunno I might be able to roll with you, given you have good character. Life happens to all of us. I will say though, I’ll be there for you but I ain’t gonna carry you. We can do home dates and get creative and stuff. But spending money will be limited, until things turn around for you. Sorry, shoot me but noooo can do. Not saying I can’t do something special for you, again being a great guy, to lift you spirits or make you feel like it’s going to be okay. I’m good with that. But and again, I ain’t gonna carry you. I’m being a bit funny but serious at the same time. So, please don’t get your drawers in a wad :mrgreen:

Seriously and again, character deficit, no can do. Call it snob, stuck up, too high standards, whatevs. The good thing about being grown is, if you don’t want to tolerate or deal with the janky, you ain’t gotta.

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:01 am

Morning All!!

I think it is a fine line between standards/preferences and snobbery, but it is subject to interpreation too. Sure, alot may not know the difference, but I think more have a chip on their sholders. Why is it if a person prefers to date professionals they are labeled a snob? Suppose I said I only wanted to date blue collar guys – only postal workers or construction guys for me! Would I then be labeled a snob? It could be a case that I am a professional and I want to date likewise because they would have a better understanding of what I go thru. If I’m a doctor, I may want to date only doctors or other medical professionals because they understand my late hours, having to be on call all the time, studying for certifications, all of that. They can relate.

Just because one drives a nice car or makes a certain salary or has attained a certain level of education does not automatically mean they think they are better than everyone else. Don’t automatically pin that snob title on them. They could be a really nice person. Especially when it comes to doctors and nurses – they are out in the trenches saving lives every day, sometimes at the detriment of their own personal lives and families.

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:07 am

Leggs/Disco – Did you see Scandal last night??

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:09 am

Yes ma’am. I’m going to host a Scandal’s finale party at my place. I don’t think that’s Fritz’ baby, Olivia and Fritz has a love that’s beyond words.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:09 am

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:16 am

Leggs – Girl, it had me on the edge of my seat, I was trying not to scream & wake up hubs!!! I’ve been questioning that baby’s paternity the whole time. Fitz has a new lease on life since he woke up from that gunshot. Did you see when he said he was going over to “see Olivia in broad-daylight”? I mean he has gone buck!!

All the twists and turns with that election-rigging – the writing on that show is phenomenal!!!!

MsAtl

February 1st, 2013
11:22 am

Kimmie- I feel you. I have had the “snob” label pinned on me because of my profession and nothing could be further from the truth. As I said earlier, it is all in the way you treat people. I have walked into court and been treated like the butler until they realized I was the attorney. That ish is not cool. Even if I was the butler, I should be treated with respect.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:24 am

Great show last night. We “Scandalites” were commenting back n forth on FB. I want the kind of love they have, just not forbidden (lol).

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:25 am

But didn’t you get some form of satisfaction when they had that look “oh snap, she’s the attorney!”

disco

February 1st, 2013
11:25 am

leggs – yes I did though I am prone to saying it from time to time.

kimmie – yes to scandal. btw you made a cameo appearance in my dream last night. kept going on and on about how nice your hubby’s teeth were. I mean on and on. talked about his dentist, what toothpaste he used blah blah blah. I finally told you to “hush. don’t nobody care about your husband’s teeth”. lol.

leggs/kimmie – I’m thinking scandal needs to hurry up and come back. translation: I haven’t been feeling it as much lately. last night was better than it has been and I think it’s because it brought the office staff back into the picture more.

Albert

February 1st, 2013
11:27 am

I have been told in the past that this person or that person did not “match my intellectual ability” or did not have “as sophisticated” tastes as mine. (I tend to like classical music, and some people I have met probably don’t listen to it often. I like Shakespeare; many people do not.)

Albert

February 1st, 2013
11:29 am

It’s OK with me if they don’t, but I’ve noticed that some people feel that if you like these things and your date doesn’t, you are sunk.

abc

February 1st, 2013
11:29 am

Most people are snobby to at least some degree, whether it applies to dating or whatever other social activity. ‘Course, few people admit to it. I live in a hood that is absolutely snob central. I’ve never seen so many snobs! And I bought into it myself as an investment. So much for that idea.

Actual studies have been carried out that illustrate the difference in men’s and women’s approach. Women, when presented a fat banker, a hot construction worker, and a hotter cashier from McDonalds, chose the banker almost every time. They want security. Men, when presented with a hot banker, a hotter cashier, and a nurse, picked the one with the biggest teeots and longest hair.

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:29 am

Disco – That dream is hilarious!!!

Girl, if you haven’t been feeling Scandal, I don’t knw what to say!! I don’t know of any other tv shows as exciting!! They are bringing it, in my opinion!!

disco

February 1st, 2013
11:33 am

abc – I would have taken the hot construction worker. later for the fat banker.

kimmie – those last few episodes were just too slow for me. I know they were trying to give us the backdrop and all but they were dragging it on too long. throw in the fact that Olivia was going soft and I was more annoyed than excited with the show for awhile. last night’s episode was the best in a while in my opinion.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:35 am

disco ~ I have to agree with you on the office staff. I enjoy how they interact with one another and their own specific specialties. What is the brother’s name on the show. I can never remember him. I’m feeling him.

MsAtl

February 1st, 2013
11:35 am

Leggs- I admit, I did get satisfaction from the look on their faces!

abc- Imagining a ripped construction worker, sweat dripping down his back while he’s handling the jackjammer…

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:35 am

remember his name.

abc

February 1st, 2013
11:35 am

A friend of mine prefers dating blue collar guys — she thinks they’re more fun — or sales people, since they seem to her to be more outgoing. IMHO, almost everyone she dates is a total dud that treats her like sheeot. But, there you are — people choose for themselves.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:39 am

disco ~ Scandal is a delicious, fast hour moving show. Never seen an hour go by so quickly. Hell, I couldn’t wait for Grey’s to go off. But I too want the staff back in more scenes.

When everything hits the proverbial fan, it’s going to stink in every crevice of the White House!

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:39 am

MsAtl – That’s a trip. The thing is,snob or no snob, in the case of most professional nobody GAVE them anything. Most had to work hard and sacrifice a lot to get where they are. Even if they came from a wealthy family, nobody can go to med school or law school and take exams for you. You earned it and should be able to enjoy some of the fruits of your labor and chose who you want to share that with. And while nobody has a right to look down their noses at anyone, whatever the profession, at the same time you should not have to dumb yourself down just to make others around you comfortable. That’s condenscending, which is not cool either. Be humble about yours and treat others with respect – now that is the definition of class in my book!

Single and Happy

February 1st, 2013
11:40 am

Disco, what you going to do when you find out he has 6 kids 8 baby mammas, and and lives at home with his momma gramma and other baby mamma (LOL)

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:41 am

Leggs – Columbus Short. I’m feeling him too!!

Disco/Leggs – I do like the staff interactons.

disco

February 1st, 2013
11:42 am

kimmie – and another thing. I think I’m simply falling off the Kerry Washington bandwagon. I like her but… after seeing django unchained I was totally on board with the idea that no matter what role she plays her character has essentially the same personality. calm, meek, mellow, demure. I mean how can a slave (django), a concubine (last king of Scotland), a teen mom (save the last dance), a house wife (ray) all have the exact same personality.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:43 am

I hollered and gasped at the same time when he asked for a divorce and openly voiced he was going to see Olivia…clutching my invisible pearls.

CoolShadow

February 1st, 2013
11:43 am

How do you handle dating snobs?
I usually fade to black; snobby people often carry an inflated sense of self-importance greater than what others perceive. Sort of like a someone who’s a 2 thinking they’re a 12 on a scale of 10.

What is the difference between having standards and acting like a dating snob?

Sometimes they’re one and the same. Everyone has standards, some are just more stringent than others. Sometimes people will label someone a snob when they fall short of the other person’s standards, although it’s tough to judge another’s standards, regardless of how unrealistic that person’s standards may be.

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:45 am

Columbus Short – yummy!

disco

February 1st, 2013
11:46 am

s/h – I’m going to open my home and my heart and my checkbook to him and his chirren because I just loves the little kiddies. besides, his momma can use a break. lol. what you think I’m going to do?

abc

February 1st, 2013
11:47 am

Substitute ‘bigot’ for ’snob’. As in, he’s a hot chick bigot, if she’s not a 10 he won’t give her the time of day. People like what they like; they want what they want. What point does it make to disagree with their preferences?

Leggs

February 1st, 2013
11:48 am

Sort of like a someone who’s a 2 thinking they’re a 12 on a scale of 10. – Why did I immediately think of Kenya Moore? She’s not 2, but she fits the rest!!

Celisea

February 1st, 2013
11:50 am

I usually fade to black; snobby people often carry an inflated sense of self-importance greater than what others perceive. Sort of like a someone who’s a 2 thinking they’re a 12 on a scale of 10.

I disagree here. That’s you on the outside looking at and passing your opinion. Maybe they are worth every bit of what they’re feeling. Just because you don’t agree, won’t mean they’re off the mark. And that’s the thing about being each own’s individual person/self, live and let live.

Button

February 1st, 2013
11:54 am

I’m snob, so I’ve been told countless of times. Some men (and women) have said I’m snobbish because of where I live, the places I dine or the fact that I love the ballet, musicals and broadway plays. I didn’t know enjoying those things meant that I am snobbish, it just means that I have a creative appetite and I love fine dining. One guy called me snobbish because the restuarant we went to had valet parking. Imagine that! valet parking equates to being snobby? Oh well. I don’t judge a person on what he does for a living. where he lives or the car he drives, never had and never will. Most of the guys I attracted were guys who are in a highly sought after profession.

You may not be a snob but the area code you live in could deem you snobby.

disco

February 1st, 2013
11:55 am

leggs – the other day I called a friend and she said she had to call me back. when she called me back she explained it was because she was watching real housewives (apparently I interrupted – well excuse me). anyway, she said something or other about kenya moore and, of course, I was like “who?”. child you would have thought I asked who jesus was. lol. she was all like “you don’t know Kenya moore”. I just laughed and got on with the conversation. sometimes I think I am a tv snob. lol.

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
11:56 am

disco – Did you see her in Lakeview Terrace? Fitz reminds me somewhat of the guy she was married to in that movie.

disco

February 1st, 2013
12:00 pm

kimmie – yep to lakeview terrace. i guess I should appreciate that at least Kerry gets different roles. poor Jennifer lewis just keeps playing the same person over and over and over again. lol.

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
12:01 pm

disco – The only reason I know who Kenya Moore is because she was the 2nd AA to win Miss USA back in 93. I kept up with stuff like that because one of my best friends was competing in pagents at the time. I would have thought Kenya would be doing more dignified stuff, but hey, guess she gotta make that money like errbody else!

kimmie

February 1st, 2013
12:28 pm

Where is everyone? Out to lunch I guess.