Waiting game is same as rejection?
My friend Bill has been seeing someone “special” for a couple of weeks. When I caught up with him yesterday, he mentioned that he was already having second thoughts about her. I asked why and he said she turned him down when he made a move.
The same guy who was just whining about not finding someone he liked during the holidays, has decided that he is unsure of someone because she wants to wait for sex. Listen, I know men are always going to want sex. I get it. I just don’t get how men claim to want someone special yet are so quick to bail when she isn’t ready to hop in bed when he does.
What is that about? I am not just asking as a woman who is completely annoyed. I asking as a dating blogger who needs solid answers: What is wrong with waiting? Why is asking for more time viewed as some form of rejection?
If your standard operating procedure with relationships is to hook up first, ask questions later (no judgement!), why can’t you pursue people who think the same?
I know it’s not just guys who want to get things hot quickly. A lot of women like to know what a man is working with early on. Are women also bothered by men who prefer to wait?
Let’s discuss! Are you for or against waiting? How does dating ADD factor into your decision to waiting or not wait?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating
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254 comments Add your comment
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:05 pm
PRICE Middle School…
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:07 pm
Naw, you really can’t. But believe what you want (lol).
Button
January 31st, 2013
3:08 pm
CNN said Pine – it’s a tragedy.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:10 pm
Leggs..maybe so..but Disco cheers me on when she agrees…her rep hasnt been any less despite that.
But I must say that most of uall’s co-signs when they come with the disclaimers,’it’s funny I agree with ex etc’ make me laugh at the lameness.
Uall like to say ‘high school’ …that’s some high school grown women do on an anonymous blog.
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:12 pm
I never say high school, but I get your drift.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:13 pm
So Disco….be real…u ain’t brave?
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:15 pm
ex – what you talking about willis?
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:18 pm
am I brave? hmm. I’ve never pondered that. I know often I am too bold but I’ve never considered whether or not I was brave. probably not. I might be a little bit too selfish to be brave. brave usually involves heroics of some sort and I ain’t trying to be no hero.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:19 pm
I agree or like Kimmie’s 2:55 but Does Disco ever feel that way…as in protecting ur heart.
@Disco…have u ever had to protect ur feelings by withholding or have u ever felt for a man like that anyway?
Dirty Birds Rise-Up
January 31st, 2013
3:19 pm
Yea Right! U would not sleep with your favorite movie star or athlete….
@Disco what do you like to eat, we are going to do dinner, drinks etc..
@Leggs… What u talkin bout Willis…. Maybe at your stage of the game the gentlemen is ready to have a mature relationship, but first he needs to see how young the pootang is? U have a look of hang-ups, like no Male enhancement pills, um the real world is men who are over 50 have lost a lot of testerone and may need some assistance… Get with the program.
Falcons rise up!
kimmie
January 31st, 2013
3:21 pm
Exiled – I have never believed in teasing. So if something is telling me to chill and get to know dude better, I’m going to see to it there is not much opportunity to go there. I don’t believe in getting all hot & heavy and then in the middle of it, STOP. That’s high school girl stuff to me. Plus, not only is it frustrating for him, it’s the same for me too. I admit I do decide early on in my head whether or not I may go there with a dude, I just may not act on it right away. And yeah, some guys have been smooth and lucky rather early, but I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. I can honestly say I don’t regret any of my encounters. If something is holding me back, I follow my instincts and they have not failed me!
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:25 pm
@Dirty ~ let’s get this corrected once and for all. You say I have a book but can only name one. I don’t have a book of hang-ups. I have 2 “preferences.” I prefer no enhancement pills and no penis pumps. That’s all you hear from me so what are you talking about? If you’re going to quote me, please come correct.
I realize men over 50 have lost a lot of testerone. If I choose not to deal with someone who uses a penis pump that is my choice. And because of my age doesn’t equate that I will be with a 60+ yea old man.
You’d be surprise. I’m definitely with the program…my program and no one else’s.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:26 pm
U know Kimmie…u have grown to be some grown woman since ur marriage two years or so ago…
Re ur answer there is testimony.
U don’t get rattled like u used to back in the day..
U got some calmness most happy married women have.
Mr lawyer is doing sum right! Lol
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 31st, 2013
3:27 pm
Disco, your 2:30 was off swwetie, I did not come with the movie star athlete thing…..
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:27 pm
dirty bird – I guess she told you…..
kimmie
January 31st, 2013
3:28 pm
Exiled – I have always known my heart was something I had to protect. I am one of those females whose heart is in it when we do go there.
That’s why I could never go there with an athlete, like Dirty mentioned. Yes, alot of them at UGA were fine as good wine. Some did even go pro. I liked some of them and they liked me. But I also knew early on they were the biggest garden tools around. One of my best freinds dated one, transferred to UGA to be with him, he had been her high school sweetheart. She stayed in tears and all you heard about were his shenanigans all over campus. She dated a professional athlete later after we graduated. Same thing. I never had the heart or patience for that. Friends, cool, get me some tickets to the games, invite me & my friends to the parties, but that’s where it ends with me.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:29 pm
I say that coz most times I push the envelope but in fun
and I be laughing holding my blackberry
It’s just comedy for me
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:30 pm
courtside – well then my apologies. who was it? dirty bird? the same dirty bird that just got told? lol. (courtside would you believe I just typed courtside in both places I needed to put dirty bird. I wonder what’s up with that)
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:31 pm
Ho harm no foul, Dirty. I’m not one of those “stuck in the mud” type of women. I’m very aware of my surroundings and the pickings around me!!!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 31st, 2013
3:32 pm
stepping back in…
Celi!!…your 2:09 was ON point and funny…after leaving the lab I needed that.
I’m definitely with the program…my program and no one else’s.
Church….
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:32 pm
Kimmie
that’s why I almost punched Queen suggesting to sign up my daughter to be a cheerleader.
why sign for third fourth fifth best parading the skin for the ball players
Some things I don’t get.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 31st, 2013
3:36 pm
disco, I think I might be heavy on your mind today!!!
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:38 pm
courtside – that or it just sounded like some foolishness you would say. lol.
Celisea
January 31st, 2013
3:38 pm
Sassy – Honey, I try to get on up in here early and say what I gotta. I know sometimes I’m off and sometimes a bit opinionated and sometimes just having fun with. But as soon as the sun rises good up in this piece, the shenanigans are bound to start….thus my cue to ease out…lol
And as you might have noticed, the Dirty Bird seems to have followed all of us (if you know about Leggs not digging penis pumps), he ain’t started blogging. So, for that I don’t respond to the jabs and jokie jokie, etc. I say shame on him for changing his name to say what he really feels….IJS Different year, same junk.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:39 pm
Court….the mo on this blog is to post ur email add just in case some female is feeling u..and wants to holla.
dudes who don’t close deals(this is a dating blog) don’t get invited to our MLB annual super owl party hosted by Diva and select few chics.
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:40 pm
And, for the record going forward, I’m not so much against Viagra, just against those taking it that have so many other medical issues. Like I said, I don’t want anyone stroking out while stroking me…that’s my hangup with the pill. Too many already sick older men.
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:41 pm
I’m done…brb gotta run to bank before it closes.
kimmie
January 31st, 2013
3:41 pm
Exiled – While I understand your hesitation with cheerleading, it is an entirely different game in and of itself. Cheerleading has become much more athletic, not like those NFL & NBA cheerleaders that are really “dancers” without the poles!
Is your daughter into gymnastics? Because alot of it is gymnastics and acrobatics now. I had a little cousin that got into the competitive cheering. Hubs oldest daughter was in it as well. When you get into it on the college level, it may as well be another sport. A lady I went to UGA with was one of 2 on the UGA squad. She is now an English professor at Emory and won a Pulizer Prize. So its not a beginning to a bad end.
But it gets extremely expensive!
Celisea
January 31st, 2013
3:41 pm
And for me, it ain’t the nasties or the religious stuff that’s a turn off, it’s folks playing games.
Alright, I have an appointment and I’m out of here
Toodles…same bat time, same bat chanel tomorrow
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 31st, 2013
3:43 pm
the Dirty Bird seems to have followed all of us… shame on him for changing his name to say what he really feels….IJS Different year, same junk.
Celi you’re alright with me chica.
Celisea
January 31st, 2013
3:46 pm
Sassy –
Alright gotta run at 4:00, need a few minutes to shut it down.
DuShawn
January 31st, 2013
3:49 pm
Disco & Leggs yall don’t go nowhere. You what we always do after everyone leaves
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:50 pm
Kimmie…I have steered them in other sports,tennis,golf etc that if they are any good,they can play pros….
To be honest with u,being a guy,I know how the male sports athletes feel(entitled) for being fetted.
I wouldn’t want to set up my kids for anything close to those circle of knuckleheads if I can help it.
Altho I’m praying my son gets his bball on and joins their ranks.
Hopefully I can influence him to wear 3 cleats at once when packing heat coz he can’t run away from the gol digger chics.
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:50 pm
leggs – shall we simultaneously say “shut up dushawn”?
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:51 pm
1. 2. 3 =
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:51 pm
Boone hosting super owl party blog peeps?
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:51 pm
Shet it up, DuShawn!
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
3:52 pm
No one
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:53 pm
Who is Boone (lol).
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:54 pm
That’s why I’m laughing, figured you meant “no one” with the question mark.
kimmie
January 31st, 2013
3:54 pm
Exiled – I really don’t blame you. My mom was like that with me when it came to cheering, baton-twirling and the like. She said stuff like that was for those without brains and would not get you a scholarship or a job in the future.
It’s not the worst thing in the world, just not for us!
disco
January 31st, 2013
3:55 pm
okay I have a question that might straight up make some of y’all lose respect for me. here goes. who is playing in the superbowl? lol. no joke. I don’t even know. I know beyonce is singing. that’s all I know.
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
3:59 pm
49′ers and The Ravens
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
4:00 pm
I think it’s Pittsburgh 49′ers and somebody Cincinnati Ravens
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
4:01 pm
Cracking up, because I’m in the learning phase of learning football…I’ve come a long way (rofl).
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
4:02 pm
Oops, Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49′ers.. Back to the drawing board…
disco
January 31st, 2013
4:02 pm
leggs – thanks. now I know. I might not know tomorrow but I know today. lol. (and you wrong for playing with the teams like that. I might not follow sports but I suppose the teams – if not the players – have name recognition).
Leggs
January 31st, 2013
4:03 pm
Well I had part of the teams names right. Have to count for something.
Exiled!
January 31st, 2013
4:03 pm
Maybe we should start with Beyonce coz she’s getting bad rap for lyp singing at BO’s inauguration
@Disco…it don’t matter for u to know the teams..just attend the free parties and eat their wings,good and get wasted on free liqor.
Let’s party! Be happy!
Maybe u might get that itch scratched this weekend Disco!
u know dude who had that itch on lock is married
disco
January 31st, 2013
4:03 pm
oh snap. girl you weren’t playing? you were playing? right? yeah. you were playing.