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Dating ADD? It’s a thing

As fun as dating in Atlanta can be, there is a certain part of it that can get frustrating. You know how it is when you start to feel like you are going through a constant stream of dates. You’re meeting people, making pseudo-connections only to find that the interest and pursuit fizzles out faster than you can say …Peachtree.

Although some folks admit to being afraid of commitment, there are others who can’t manage to focus on one great potential romance longer than two solid weeks. I like to call that dating attention deficit disorder. With so many “choices” and distractions (strip clubs?) in this city, is it any wonder we get stuck in a revolving door?

How do you manage drown out all the distractions and really focus on someone who is potentially a good match? Do you think online dating, a good nightlife, and many eligible singles makes it difficult to overcome Dating ADD?

If you think of the last time you met someone you felt a deep connection with, how did you decide to tie up those “loose ends” and focus on that one person? Is it wrong to expect someone you date to be consistent if you both feel the same way about one another?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

102 comments Add your comment

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 29th, 2013
8:38 am

Looks like I am the early bird today!!! :)

This too is an easy one……When you find something or someone you want to invest in, you put the toys aside and you make a way… If the person you are dealing with seems to always be distracted, its because they choose to be!

Button

January 29th, 2013
8:42 am

Good morning, I co sign with Courtside.

hazel

January 29th, 2013
8:54 am

Dating should be fun and one must go thru many dates with different folks to appreciate that one good date which will eventually come your way when you are not expecting it ( after 2-3 years or so). Online dating is actually good for you! It really is.. For the right reasons that is. There are more crazy folks than sane ones when it comes to online dating, but hey.. either way, we take a risk when dating anyways.
Revolving door is the one issue that comes with dating in Atlanta. But like Courtside said, one finds a way to stop the door when the right one comes along.
When i found my guy, after the 3rd date is hinted that I was not dating anyone else and if he was, this would be our last date. He said he was and wanted to and well I respected that. However, he seemed to have got rid of other women he was casually dating to take me out on the 4..5..6 dates. you get the point

Alberta

January 29th, 2013
9:02 am

Oh, the drama….Single people “get stuck in a revolving door” because they allow themselves to “get stuck in a revolving door”. Quit complaining and take control of your life. I think there are a lot of adults out there dating who really shouldn’t be dating because they’re just not mature enough to either know what they want out of life, or how to commit themselves self to another for the rest of their life. In your 30’s or 40’s and still haven’t found the “right person”? Give it up and just be happy with your life the way it is.

hazel

January 29th, 2013
9:09 am

@ Alberta. haha.. Well even though you speak the truth, what if you were a good person but just did not come across the “right person” until you were in your 30’s and 40’s? Often folks are busy getting their career on track and blah blah, which takes away time to put any effort in dating.

disco

January 29th, 2013
9:15 am

good morning. where is this revolving door? detailed directions including landmarks please.

Single and Happy

January 29th, 2013
9:25 am

Hey all

Disco, it’s in downtown Atl, on the corner of Peachtree and Marietta St, across from the Statue (LOL)

disco

January 29th, 2013
9:31 am

good morning s/h. I see your sense of humor is powered on this a.m.

Single and Happy

January 29th, 2013
9:54 am

Hello, disco, just want to help a sister out :-D

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 29th, 2013
10:04 am

I differ from Alberta on this point…. I do not think one should be looking to settle until they are at least in thier 30’s….. There are too many things to see and do and too many lessons to learn prior to then.

disco

January 29th, 2013
10:14 am

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
10:16 am

Good morning.

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
10:27 am

Folks that claim relationship ADD, aaaaand can sell it = Shenanigans! I find it funny when folks set their mind on accomplishing something, they seem to have no trouble getting it done. People do exactly what they want to do. Don’t fall for the banana in the tailpipe…lololol

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
10:33 am

This poor blog is barely hanging on. Honestly, I didn’t expect oodles and oodles of pages when I logged in just now, but I didn’t expect to see not even 20 comments.

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
10:35 am

Maybe later this afternoon, this thing will have revved up a bit. I feel like I’m in a big ole empty room, with an echo…lololol

Helllooo eeelllooo eeelllooo eelloo eelloo ello ello

Toodles. BBL…maybe

Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)

January 29th, 2013
10:41 am

I didn’t expect oodles and oodles of pages when I logged in just now, but I didn’t expect to see not even 20 comments.

I’m not sure what’s been goin on as of late either, Celi….but one thing I can say is that our topics have been recycled, re-wrapped and re-packaged to the point where it’s all familiar…granted we may or may not stay on said topic but it’s just been rather…blah and bland :-(

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
10:47 am

Sassy – Yep, so so true. Shoot, from the time I’ve started blogging, I’ve pretty much experienced and come out on the other side of “stuff” we’ve talked about time and time again. Many of us are now booed, married or resulted to batting for the other team (okay I’m kidding there). So now, most days are free for all, unless folks got something juicy they want to share and we spin from that. Blah and bland is understated…

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
10:48 am

We need a fresh crop of folks (added to us, not to replace us), FRESH CROP, not RECYCLED folks…lololol JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING!!!

disco

January 29th, 2013
11:03 am

I think folks are cheating on the blog. maybe there is a skinnier, funnier, smarter, sexier, richer (insert adjective here) blog out there and the fair weathers have jumped ship.

Celisea

January 29th, 2013
11:09 am

Someone just sent this to me in an email….. I thought it was funny :)

50 Shades of Golf

Four golf buddies had been going to Pinehurst for a boy’s golf weekend for many years. This year, Ralph’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Ralph calls his buddies and tells them the bad news. They understand and go as a 3-some. When they arrive at Pinehurst, Ralph is sitting there smiling with his clubs
already on a cart. They ask: “Hey Ralph, what did you do to change the wifey’s mind?” Ralph said: “Well, last night my wife had just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey. She pulled me into our bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and velvet ropes. She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, and I did. Then she said, “Do whatever you want.” So, here I am.

Mr_NYC

January 29th, 2013
11:19 am

Ha that’s a good one recycled – changed from a weeklong camping trip to a golfing trip and the 50 Shades reference added

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
11:38 am

Enough is enough…a boring blog makes for a long day at work.

SNAP OUT OF IT PEOPLE. Posts some crazy dating stories from back in the day, mama jokes, play dozens, anything and everything.

I’ll start. I remember inviting my bf over for dinner one evening. After dinner, we’re jumping all the bases to get to that home run. Before our desires got the best of us and wound up with carpet burns, we decided to take a shower. Lathering each other up was interesting and exciting. Next thing I know, someone wanted to see how limber another person was, but with all that soap, he lost his balance and fell out the shower. We spent the rest of evening laughing and ice packing his head and shoulders.

NEXT…..

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
11:51 am

disco

January 29th, 2013
12:03 pm

leggs – you tried. I ain’t mad at you. it does make for a long slow day. I was just online pricing tires. I have a firestone coupon and a costco (Michelin) coupon. over the weekend I had to have my furnace serviced. driving in this a.m. I was thinking my car needed to be washed. do you see where I’m going with this? lol. the times when you think yo man ought to show up so he can get to work. lol.

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
12:04 pm

Hello out there!!! Just now able to catch up on the few comments. Trying to finish up work since I won’t be here again until next Tuesday! Yay!!!

Leggs – that is a pretty funny story!!!

Only thing I have on the topic is that if you have dating ADD, then you just haven’t found the right one. Nothing wrong with a revolving door because it will stop with the right person…

disco

January 29th, 2013
12:05 pm

leggs – last night I was at the gym running. there’s a guy “lurking” on the track. don’t know what’s up with that. he should have been walking or running but no he’s just standing there watching the basketball game below when he should have just gone down. anyway, he didn’t look like much and I was annoyed because I had to keep running around him. how come as I was running toward him I was thinking “he better not look at my butt when I run past” but at the same time when I ran by I was thinking “he better look at my butt when I run past”. lol. I had to laugh at myself.

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
12:06 pm

I guess I’ll share that I’m done with Mags once again. I only wanted friends with benefits, but he doesn’t deserve my friendship. He has a lot of growing up to do to even be just a friend. His loss…I ain’t losing sleep over it! :-)

Jake-SPJTWB

January 29th, 2013
12:08 pm

What the hell is happenin folks…how is everyone?

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 29th, 2013
12:14 pm

Damn….Bluz looking for a FWB and buddy can’t handle that??? That kinda thing is not for everybody but when it works, it is the best thing since pop top cans!!!

kimmie

January 29th, 2013
12:15 pm

Hey Gang!! I would have been here earlier, but they are working me to death up in here!! All good though.

Bout to roll out to Costco myself here in a few.

On topic – Okay, you said last week most folks dating in Atlanta were not the marrying kind, so dating ADD ought to go along with the teritory!!! But really, it’s all about what you are looking for and where you are in your life. Try to seek out folks that are leading the same lifestyle you are. You can’t meet people at clubs & bars & parties and really expect them to be that “settled” if that’s what you’re looking for. I was not looking for a guy that was “out there” all the time, one that always had to be at the latest clubs every weekend. The men I wanted to meet were involved in community activities or sports like tennis or martial arts or coaching little league or mentoring kids, stuff like that. Family-oriented men. You can’t really take someone out of the environment they are comfortable in and expect them to be something else.

disco

January 29th, 2013
12:22 pm

J-AAAA-KE (said like norm on cheers). what’s up?

hey kimmie – all weekend long I was in “attack mode” so to speak re friends with their suggestions on where I ought to go to be meeting men. I was so not trying to hear it. lol. they were trying to call me out on my activities talking about you aren’t going to meet anyone at xyz. they don’t understand that I’m an xyz kind of girl. what do I want with an abc man?

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
12:24 pm

Court…there is some history with Mags. We tried to date over the summer and decided that didn’t work. We were friends for a while beforehand. We went a couple of months without talking and both decided that we missed the friendship before we tried to mess it up. I really shouldn’t have let him back in my life, but figured things would be different this time since it’s only a friendship (with benefits). He’s shown his true colors once more. No thank you!!! I don’t take disrespect from anyone…no matter how big the D! ;-)

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
12:26 pm

You are funny, disco. Mad it he does, then madder if he doesn’t (lol).

Hey Jake. How you be?

Jake-SPJTWB

January 29th, 2013
12:29 pm

Nothing much Ms. Disco…its been a mess around here at the workplace, no blog time lately. I am sneaking in now, haven,t even been lurking.

Jake-SPJTWB

January 29th, 2013
12:29 pm

disco

January 29th, 2013
12:31 pm

leggs – I know. I told you I was running and laughing and calling myself crazy in my own mind. sometimes it just be like that.

bluz – what else is going on? I’m going to skip right over your backsliding because even if you tend to backslide at least you do try.

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
12:37 pm

LOL disco! Yep…maybe a temporary backslide, but doesn’t take much now for me to wake up again! :-)

Only other thing going on is getting ready to head to Memphis tomorrow! I cannot wait to get out of town for several days. I might me some cute, successful, blues men out there!

disco

January 29th, 2013
12:42 pm

I was in the Memphis airport recently and I remember thinking I wish I could take some of their artwork right off of the walls. they have some nice stuff (well with the exception of the elvis crap – lol).

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
12:46 pm

I’m driving up with 3 other girl friends. Should be a fun trip. I must visit Graceland while there and go eat some good BBQ! Will be back on Sunday…I’m just way too excited!!!

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
1:04 pm

Doesn’t anyone have anything to talk about today? I need this to get me through my Friday!

Dirty Birds Rise-Up

January 29th, 2013
1:23 pm

Good Afternoon!

Dating … Have fun and enjoy the dating moment. Folks are too serious about tings that really are insignicant in the grand scheme of life. My advice would be to accomplish your professional goals first,while enjoying a cup of poonanny..

We can get this blog jumping if one of the blog women would let me have my way with them. Then I can rate you on the blog.

Bluzgirl...soon to be Memphis bound!

January 29th, 2013
1:30 pm

Good luck with that Dirty Bird…

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
1:32 pm

disco ~ I immediately thought of Loretta Devine and Gregory Hines when she was walking away swishing all the way hoping he would be looking at her behind. She even turned around to be certain, then increased the swivel of her hips (lol).

Willie Dynamite

January 29th, 2013
1:38 pm

Afternoon all,
What you good folks got going on today? I’m sure nothing is on topic as this is a more introspective kinda topic. Not too many folks will admit to ADD (hate labels) but really in a nutshell that’s what it is. Some of us only need/want 2weeks before we move on to the next conquest or time eater. Some of us figure that 2 weeks is enough time to figure out whether or not susie q or joe blow ain’t bout isht. Let’s face it this is a instant gratification society. We either shoot first to protect our hearts or we rip and burn to the detriment of others. Dayum if you do or don’t.

Dirty Birds Rise-Up

January 29th, 2013
1:39 pm

The wise one has done a great job coming up with topics about dating on a weekly basis. The information brought forth from some of the bloggers has been very useful.

Now Bluzgirl or Disco with the bootay…When can we go out for drinks? It’s time to blog about the actual dates.

Leggs

January 29th, 2013
1:44 pm

Dirty Bird ~ if you went out with disco, I think she’ll be the one blogging about the date because you will be tar and feathered licking your wounds somewhere in a dark basement.

kimmie

January 29th, 2013
1:57 pm

Dirty – I agree about the relaxing and enjoying dating. Enjoy each phase of your life- the dating, courtship, marriage, babies & family, everything. Smell the roses along the way!

Willie Dynamite

January 29th, 2013
2:01 pm

Kimmie- some folks just can’t do that. They can and do smell the roses, 100 of them but will focus attention on the 2-3 that smelled like boo boo (in my Andre 3000 voice).

kimmie

January 29th, 2013
2:12 pm

Willie – I agree. Those that just can’t stop, I ran away from when I was out there dating. I know for me it just got old, but for some it never does. More power to them. You look around and your peers have moved on to bigger and better and the clubs and your old hangouts are being replenished with a new, younger crowd. You got the same old routine going – meet someone, hang out and bang and then a few weeks or months down the line you are bored and looking around for something else. The cycle continues. You haven’t even given yourself a chance to get to know and enjoy anything. But hey, some folks are cool with that.

disco

January 29th, 2013
2:21 pm

leggs – times are hard and I’ve done my dirt but I want it to be known that (so far) I have never, ever tarred and/or feathered anyone.