Hey all, now that’s an easy one, being from a small town dating friends exes. and vice versa was common thing. If you’ve truly moved on with your life, you don’t care who they date. LIFE GOES ON

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Good Monday morning! On someone I’ve dated –although I’ve never been in that situation, I probably would feel a certian kind of way but I would have to put my big girl panties on and keep it in prespective that he’s an ex and what we had is over, and wish him the best, however I’d wish never to be put into that situation.

If he were my ex husband and my friend want to date him then it will be in the back of my mind whether she had the eye for him the whole while. You can’t help but to wonder. Knowing myself, I would try to sabatog it though. Heck I can’t have my friend going where I’ve been, if you get my drift, heck vows were made.

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buttons, if he’s an ex those vows have been broken, And even if your friend did have eyes, if it was never acted on, no harm no foul.

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Disco, I almost did, but she didn’t want to act right. She wanted me but didn’t know how to get me (LOL) Now I have knocked down a few friends exes

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quick off topic. so I’m in the grocery store and some guy asks me what’s for dinner. I’ve had this happen many times and I figure it’s the tacky line of the simple man who doesn’t know what else to say. thing is this line irks the heck out of me and so even if dude might have had a shot he blew it with those three little words. guys (and I know everyone’s not here yet) what is really up with the grocery store pickup? how do you that have tried it (the grocery store pick up) generally go about it? is there really a world full of men that think asking a chick what’s for dinner is the way to go? naturally my friends say I’m tripping and I ought to relax. one even suggested I respond with telling him where he can take me for dinner. I’m like really? give a dog a bone? later for him. okay. I’m done. just tirading because that really really irks me.

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s/h – what new years resolution? lol. I put a copy of Richard wright’s black boy in my car last night. it’s going to be my “classic” reading for the month of February. I read zora neale hurston’s jonah’s gourd vine in January. I’m right on track with resolutions. lol.

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S/H – I know. I was just trying to avoid the obvious. actually, just last week I (ahem) hollered at a guy. he told me he was involved with someone and apologized profusely for leading me on (this after months and months of flirting back and forth and me finally getting tired of waiting on him to make a move). needless to say I did have a nice little wound to patch up but it’s still only month 1. I have 11 more months to go. oh and I won’t deny that for a split second I was thinking “girlfriend? girlfriend? I don’t care about no stinking girlfriend? she ain’t nobody”. lol.

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I think it would be a “depends” situation. I wouldn’t want a close friend dating an ex that I was in love with. BUT…my close friends wouldn’t go there and I wouldn’t go there with their exes. If it’s just someone that I briefly dated or just hooked up with and didn’t really care about, then have at it.

Haven’t had an issue with this since I was in 8th grade and my “best” friend stole my first puppy love…

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Good morning by the way!!!

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S/H – not necessarily but this thing was going back and forth with friendly flirtations for months. enough was enough. now I know to scratch dude off the list as a possible.

courtside – I can appreciate that you come with more than just “what’s for dinner”. did I mention it irks me. lol. in my mind the what’s for dinner dude will turn out to be the dude who calls and asks what you are cooking rather than can he take you out. some guys don’t understand they have to graduate to that level. guess they think they can get home cooked right out the gate.

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Disco, you’re thinking to much into it, any line is just an ice breaker to see your personality.

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While I could care less what you do…once I’m done, I think it speaks volumes about a person’s character for fishing repeatedly out of the same pond. As long as I’m happy, HAVE AT IT!!! lolololololol

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maybe she’s his freaky lil fantasy Single.
or she’s exhibiting a fetish he wants to indulge in.

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Button, HUH??

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I’m at a point in life where I could care less if you dated an ex of mine. If you find a treasure where I didn’t, go for it.

disco ~ pick up lines at the grocery store are very common. If you want humor, pay attention to the ones commenting on your items at the cashier.

O/T: Leroy “Sugarfoot” Bonner, front man for the hit-making funk music band the Ohio Players, has died in southwest Ohio. He was 69. R.I.P

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Leggs, awww girl, Love the OHIO Players.

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bluz did you make to fat matts, I went buy and go me a sandwich, man it was good

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Loved, loved The Ohio Players. Still looking for that man to lick honey off my body. Whew, I’m cracking up. Seriously, ever since that album came out (which some thought I posed for way back when…still laughing), I’ve been waiting to pour honey all over my body and have it slurped off. Two that I wanted to do it, professed to be allergic to honey. Oh well…

Hey disco! What’s cooking, sugar!

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Bluz Around 7:30, don’t you start (LOL)

Leggs, you mean you never had a man do that (oh the memories) (LOL)

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So ladies, are the lines as irritating when the eye candy is desirable?

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hey kimmie!!! I knew I could count on you for understanding. I get that “smile” one a lot too. dudes talking about “it can’t be that bad”. they just don’t know I feel like ripping their adams’ apple out when they go there. they really need to learn to stay in their own lane.

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Bluz, when I was there, there was group of Asians at one table, a group of guys at the other table, there was only one guy on stage looked like he may have been setting up some drums, only I didn’t see any.
No gas money, (wow didn’t see that one coming) LMAO

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Ohio Players! That’s a blast from the past. She’s a bad bad missus, in her skin tight britches, runnin folks into ditches, bustin out the stitches, yaowl… Skin Tight!

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S/H – yep. I don’t deny that often eye candy gets a pass but those lines bother me enough to revoke the pass. I hear them and I just cringe. uggh.

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S/H – Hmmm…I was probably with the table of the guys up front…no telling where I was at the time you came in. I know the line was short at that time, so you were probably in and out. Heck…I may have been outside and we passed right by each other! LOL!

Yeah…I’m not that surprised about no gas money…I wish I hadn’t forgotten to ask at the end of the night, but I had several beers while there and it slipped my mind. It’s just a shame that he’s a grown a$$ man who now won’t text me back because I asked him to drop off money Sat night on his way out. Makes me wonder how he has any friends if he treats them all the same way…

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abc –

I agree, while I don’t go around with a grin plastered on my face, I will smile when encountering others, or have a pleasant demeanor. But these dudes seem to catch me when I am engrossed in whatever it is I am doing or thinking about. I may be looking in their direction, but don’t even see them. I’m like “huh??!!”

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Single – And I don’t even have a problem with a solid greeting like Good Morning or Hello. The “Smile” thing is an obvious flirt attempt and usually when the last thing I’m thinking about is flirting. That’s what makes it irritating.

Like I said before, I do have a tendency to look serious on the regular when I have something on my mind. I’ve had folks tell me they have seen me out and I looked mean. Those that know me know that’s just how I look when I am concentrating.

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Kimmie, I do understand the serious look, I used to be like that, but since I stopped giving a damn what the rest of the world thinks, I smile a little more (LOL)

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disco – Face it, there is just something about you that people want to tell you everything. There must be something comforting about you!

Single – I feel ya!LOL!!!

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kimmie – I guess so.

mike p – if only we knew? knew what? please enlighten me.

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Hey Mike P

Disco – I guess he doesn’t like women doing the approaching. He only likes them to speak when spoken to, and don’t ask him any questions!LOL!!

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Kimmie Disco, For me most of the women I meet are on a mission, and since i’m “eligible” I should be on the same mission! and it should be with them, yes it does get irritating. Why can’t we just see where things go while getting to know each other.

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Good afternoon, Mike P (lol)!

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Mike, you’re irritate if a woman asks if you’re seeing anybody, are you married or single. – Women should be asking that.

Now, to get a question of “why won’t you talk to me” from a possible prospect is something else. If you don’t want anyone asking you questions, date yourself! Keep it simple!!!!

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Saying good morning means having manners. I say good morning to EVERYBODY I pass,that catches my eye, or I theirs. It’s only polite and it’s free

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Every morning is not a good morning for everybody, so to expect someone to say it just because you think they should, do you really care about their morning?

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s/h – they don’t have to respond with “good morning”. they can simply say morning or hey or just give a freaking head nod but I do expect to be greeted in return. now if it’s a general good morning said while stepping on an elevator or something I’ll ignore it if everyone on the elevator lacks home training. lol. if I say good morning directly to an individual and they don’t respond I might talk about them. lol. I’m with celisea – that’s just manners. now we can stop at good morning. we don’t have to go all into “how you doing”. that right there might not be any of your business. lol.

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Good Afternoon! That is called having a great attitude…. Keep up the good work, although those around may not recognize your approach to the morning bring positive vibes to the office.
Oh yes it does!

Sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away…

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Disco, you never know what’s going on in someone else’s world, sometimes you are insignificant to them, the really don’t see you, so to let it get to you because they don’t speak, Is it really that important, I guess part of my I don’t give a damn attitude is there is nothing anyone can do to spoil my day, speak don’t speak, I don’t care cause I’m going to be alright

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Kimmie for me before I even consider anything long term I have to get to know the real person first. and where did the sharing the body come from?

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Single – It’s just a greeting and common courtesy, especially in an office setting. I really don’t give a ish one way or the other, especially with folks I come across with on the street. I’m sure dude didn’t give a flip about my mom, he didn’t know me. But to put it in perspective, its a good morning when you see God woke your behind up for another day on this earth! It is bad manners for someone to not even acknowledge you when you’ve greeted them to their face and you work in the same place!

My hubs told me about this chick that works at his law firm. He has been right up on her and spoken and she won’t even blink an eye. He asked other coworkers and they said she did the same with them, so he said eff it.But of course, she grins all up in the face of those she considers the big dogs! Problem is some of the same folks you dissed on your way up may be the ones you end up working for! So stupid, especially in the type of environment they works in!!

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for me before I even consider anything long term I have to get to know the real person first. and where did the sharing the body come from?

Single – I would think anyone would want to know the real person before they take things long term. But why waste one’s time with someone that’s not even open to the possibility! As for the body, maybe not with you, but plenty feel dating and “getting to know” automatically includes sex. If you tell me up front you’re “not looking for anything serious”, then I’m not taking you serious and you can forget the cookie.

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I told the story before how I sat next to Roger Mosley’s daughter. We were pretty cool. Eventually she quit and moved back home. She told me though, before leaving that she appreciated the fact that I would K.I.R. and helped her during her time here. What struck pretty deep was when she stated she just learned me well enough to NOT speak before noon. While she was kidding, that really reasonated with me. I made an effort from that time on to be cordial at the start of my day. How fair is it for me to be a grumpy booga bear and then when I’m ready to thaw, everybody should be cool talking to me???? It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Now? It’s like a cake walk. My kid says “mama, you talk to EVERYBODY.” I wish somebody would be all black and blue in the morning and then when they thaw out, want to chat it up. Imma be waiting and say, “ummm, kick rocks.” lolololol Imma tell them, you can’t speak or talk in the mornings, well I can’t talk now that you’re ready

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Leggs – I know for me it takes way more effort to not speak or respond than to just do it, grunt something and keep it moving.!

Whether someone actually “cares” or not really never crosses my mind!

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Single – You being funny, but you know exactly what we’re talking about.

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If this chick isn’t speaking, then why are people still speaking to her?

Single – As I said earlier, my hubs said eff speaking to her. Others have done the same. I’m talking when he first started working with the beyotch, cause he didn’t know what was going on.

As for speaking to folks at work, we say hey in the morning and everyone is off to their little cubicles. It really isn’t that serious!

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Single ~ if someone is standing in front of me and says good morning to me, I am going to say good morning back. Just another form of hello. Do I care if they have a good morning. Yes! However, I can’t make them have a good morning.

If they don’t speak back do I take the time to ask if they’re ok = Nope. They aren’t obligated to speak back, I just hope that they do. To ignore someone that’s right in front of you is a slur (IMO). To be walking down the hall and someone approaches you coming in the opposite direction and you speak, whether it’s a good morning or a hello and they continue to walk by w/o saying anything is rude. You’re not obligated, but it’s still rude and it exerts so little energy just to be kind!

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Single – Then good for her, she spoke up and asked where you guys stood. You were up front, she was up front, yall grown. That was the problem with me in the past, in my much younger days. I was scared of asking a guy where we stood for fear of scaring him off. Then would get irritated if down the line I found out he couldn’t read my mind and see I wanted something different. I learned to speak up. I also learned that usually guys didn’t change their mind, so if he didn’t want anything serious “right now” he wasn’t going to want it a year or 5 years down the line. Most I’ve learned, if they feel its even a hint of a possiblity he might want more, he’s not going to shoot himself in the foot day one!

But you seem irritated by even the question. Plus, looks like you invite that sort of thing, cause it appears you are all over the place. Didn’t you say you had a lady you were serious with, considering marrying?

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Leggs – You are right, a slur. Especially in the case of my hubs coworker. It was like, “I don’t waste my breath speaking to you peasants!. If you don’t have “rank” get out of my face!!

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Dushawn – Hey, at least you’re being real about it!!

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Du, I’m forthcoming, and don’t have blue balls, If one won’t another one will. And they always think the coochie can change a man’s mind (LOL)

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Leggs – This convo I’m having with Single reminds me of the Bert Show from Friday & today, the “Closure Call”. Did you hear it?

To recap, this chick called in Friday to say she had been dating a guy that was engaged for about a year. He broke it off with her, and implied it was to do right by his fiance and marry her. She finds out he actually broke it off around the same time he broke it off with her. That set her off! She said she knew what she was getting into dealing with him and could deal with him leaving her and going on with his marriage plans. She implied it was like he gave her the impression if it wasn’t for his obligation he felt to the fiance, they would still be together. But to find out he broke it off with her too made her mad and she wanted an explanation. Folks were calling in saying since she was the “side piece” she did not have the right to an explanation! Today dude called in and said he was surprised she was tripping like she was. He said he was up front the whole time and all he wanted from her was the sex. He said he & the former fiance had other issues and he didn’t break up with both of them to see someone else. He said even if the fiance had not been in the picture, he would never have dated her and taken her as serious. He said it was physical with her, maybe a friendship, and nothing more!

I had to go into work, so I missed her reaction & the callers!!

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Single – It’s easy to find someone to buy what you’re selling, just don’t trip on those that don’t want to fall for it. If you’re getting what you want out the deal, I still wonder why it irritates you when women ask the questions, whether they have to or not, whatever you’re said to them.

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Guess I’m lurking (and tripping….lol) huh?

disco – Thanks! My coworker in that city said nay but my friend that lives there said it’s pretty cool. Okay, thanks again. I’m booked there for a couple of days. My manager was sending me there for 4 days…ummm NOT! After a couple of days, I get irritated (if traveling alone) and want to come home. I’m going boo-less on this trip….lol I want to get some time in with friends there. I have 3 dinner/lunch dates Not “date” date, but date as in catching up

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s/h – re women initiating and playing themselves. I’ll give it to you that a lot of women think they got that “whip appeal” but I’ll also go out on a limb and a lot of women are just going for theirs. sometimes fellas it ain’t even really about you.

dushawn – like I just said to s/h don’t be surprised. be real. I’m just looking for some azz. she might just be trying to give up some. she might not even like you like all that. I know most of the blog chicks represent the emotional, strings attached female but I’m just reminding y’all that every woman ain’t trying to be in love with y’all’s behinds.

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celisea – you might be glad to be boo-less when you see the size of the rooms. lol. they are very well appointed and have nice finishes and upgrades but they are just designed to be space savers.

s/h – I’m like kimmie. hush. while I get your point at the end of the day you get mine too. lol. when I first started this job there was a group that would not speak to me. didn’t take me long to recognize it and didn’t take me long to stop speaking to them either. I’m all for being polite but I’m sure not going to waste my polite on somebody who doesn’t deserve. that’s what stank is for. lol.

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Single – Hey, maybe you need to come up with a snappy comeback when folks ask why you never married. You said you didn’t care what others think, so why do you care that these women think you should be with them because both are single?

What you say you are dealing with with the questions, I got the same when I was single, especially marrying later than most. People are just like that when you are not following society’s status quo, married with x number of kids by a certain age. And I don’t care what they say – unless they are truly like Disco said earlier – out to get theirs- I think feelings are bound to get involved when sex is involved with the majority of women. Women are just built that way. You can make your deposit and say see ya and not even think about it, but not with most women. So you should not be surprised or irritated by the questions these women ask you.

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@disco & S/H…”I’m just looking for some azz”…… That degree of honesty, although commendable, works much better in theory than practice. If you let a female know that off rip, your chances of success are reduces tremendously. For every 1 that respects your honesty and is on the same page,10 will tell you to get the hell on. In the past, I wouldn’t have the patience. I would rather omit the truth and hit them all.

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Like Big Mama used to tell me, “Somtimes what you don’t say, Says it all.” I don’t have to tell a chick, all i want is some azz……she will figure it out…eventually.

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Those questions that you get asked, I would never ask anybody because I know everyone is different.

Single – I wish everyone would realize that, that everyone is different. It doesn’t mean one is crazy or something is wrong with them because they didn’t marry by x age or do things the way people expect.

I’ll never forget right after I got engaged, a few folks asked me “what would you have done if he had not proposed?” I thought it was a stupid question, and being the respectful person I am I did not answer the way I wanted which was “I would have kept the hell on living”!!!!

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Back in the day, If a female ask if I wanted a serious relationship, My response would be along the lines of ; “Baby, that puddy and neck would have to be sho nuff fiya for me to even consider somthing like that. If Imma commit, i’m all in. But I gotta be sure about what I’m gettin into….ya dig”.

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Dang Leggs!!

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dushawn – this is why most women assume that all men want is the azz even as most men are going on and on about how it’s not all about the azz (when it really is). we ain’t even hearing all the lies coming out of your mouth. we know the deal. this is why very few men have as much talk game as they like to believe. y’all know that we know long before y’all do whether or not you can get some.

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You’re on the mark, disco!!!

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disco, if you had a friend that hung out with you, and that’s all never mentioned anything about something more, would you still think it’s all about the azz

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Kimmie, all he needs is a good woman, and he’ll change (LMAO)

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He’s 28, you’re right, baby mama #3 is probably on the horizon. You come to a party, even if you live in the neighborhood, wash your stank behind! Guess B.O is akin to bad breath – everyone else can smell it but the host of the smell!

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Kimmie why he got to be batting for the other team,(LOL) he just might like the fact that since there are no expectations, he doesn’t have to worry about trying to impress.

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y’all know that we know long before y’all do whether or not you can get some.

True…

He has 3, 2 baby mamas and he’s living at home with Mama for a spell.

That alone would’ve gotten his dismissed…AND he had the nerve to be all musty,too…no,no and no…

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*him*

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courtside – I’m not saying males and females can’t be friends which is what I think you were alluding at. still you killed your own statement. if that male friend is willing to screw that female friend under a particular set of circumstances then old boy is simply waiting in the cut for opportunity.

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Women of blog land do not put everything in a box. We are not lurking in wait for the panties, if you are kool we can hang, but if you decide after a few drinks you want to knock dem boots then its batter up time….

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dushawn – and I think that has more to do with your fear of your wife than anything else. lol. I kid, I kid.

dirty bird – and what you said is indeed lurking in wait. it may not be your intention going in but it’s still what you are doing. why y’all don’t want to own that one? does it make y’all feel soft or something? lol.

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@Disco if you are friends and you come over with high heels on, jeans that acentuate all those curves on your body my intentions will change from kicking it to I’m gonna have to disco tonight..

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Never had a problem with friends dating exes, now if my neighbors would only keep theirs brats out of my pool during the summer season we would be doing good.

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The importance of a woman’s jewel is a journey for men.
The importance changes as we grow older and we are better able to put the jewel into proper prospective. The JEWEL(FIRE) will stop holding the gravitational pull once a man realize there is plenty where that come from and it can be attained rather easy..

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I think the disconnect comes from women either being unable or unwilling to separate sex from everything else. As a guy, I can catch up with a lady sex all day and leave and not feel inclined to call or talk to her for whatever time period we go…Kinda like i can play golf with my dudes and when we are done, head to the house without feeling like I need to say anything when we are done. We are able to treat sex as a pyhsical thing and nothing else, which is why we can be cool with a lady, be friends with her and hang out , and be OK with rabbit dancing if thats where we end up and not have it change teh nature of the friendship…… I do not think MOST women hae that gene….

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Courtside – No disconnect, just the difference in MOST women to most men. It’s nature, yin and yang. Sex more often than not is tied to a woman’s heart. I know it is for me, that’s why it can never be casual with me. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either. Is that what most men truly want? For most women to think and act like men? I just don’t think its the natural order of things.

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kimmie, I can’t say what most men want….But I can say that for me, I want to be able to have interactions with a woman that does not revolve around a lifetime commitment (or the pretense of one). Most of theime when I spend time with a woman, it truely is just about spending time with herr…enjoying her company and basking in the glow of the female auora. Now sometimes that means moving past her essence and getting to the physical and that should be ok too….

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Damn, haven’t meet any of those nana’s yet (LOL) I haven’t meet one worth fighting over yet, let alone starting a war (LOL)

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All hail! The power of the P. (fist raised in the air)

Jira’s got girl power for real….I just cracked up at reading this…lol

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lol…..disco, Not trying to get with Jira….But she seems to have some “insigh”t that might be of value to me someday…. Besides, You know you are the only blog girl for me!

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The power of the P goes along with the theory that everything has a price (LOL)

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