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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Does Atlanta get a bad rap?

I was in Washington, DC to attend the Inauguration this past weekend. I had an interesting conversation with a few people at a party. Someone asked me where I lived and I proudly said Atlanta. Then that lead to a discussion about dating.

Someone actually felt bad for me because I was single in Atlanta! Like I got the “Aw, you poor thing expression” at least twice. Apparently, a single black woman in Atlanta can pretty much give up all hope of finding a man. Who KNEW?!

It did not take long for me to figure out where they were coming from: Between those dreadful Atlanta reality television shows, excessive number of strip clubs, and the “bachelor” married men, the dating scene in Atlanta gets a bad rap. Many people believe that Atlanta’s dating scene isn’t very appealing.

I tried to defend our city, you guys! I told them that there are many perfectly normal and sane single people living here. Of course, we have our share of misadventures, but doesn’t every city?

Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap? Is it really as bad as others think? What about those of us who live and love here? Is Atlanta conducive to dating success?

Do your friends in other cities believe we are the capital of ratchet and debauchery too?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

151 comments Add your comment

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
8:11 am

Lookie lookie, look who’s first! I have absolutely NOTHING on topic. :)

Well, I’m out….have a good day!

Exiled

January 25th, 2013
8:24 am

Thank ALL MIGHTY GOD ITS PAYDAY!!!

Whats the topic??

ohh..just me and Ms Celisea….how are u lady…Meelo steeping to Cee.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 25th, 2013
8:47 am

Dang,

I had to go through a whole rigamarow just to find this place this morning. WACK

Lady~it is what it is!

January 25th, 2013
8:48 am

Belle with Wisdom

January 25th, 2013
8:49 am

Atlanta – Capital of ratchet and debauchery -That’s about the size of it!

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 25th, 2013
8:55 am

LOL….. Let it ride Wise Dive…. I use to travel for work quite a bit and as much as I hate this term, I think this tis one of the few places that it truely fits…. The are just HATERS!!!! Invite them to vist the city for a weekend in the spring, and they are racking their brains trying to find a way to be here more often!!!!!

Bluzgirl

January 25th, 2013
8:56 am

I would think that a lot of cities are just like Atlanta. That’s all I got on this topic…

TGIF!!!!!

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 25th, 2013
9:01 am

As far as guys go, they always want to come here to soar their wild oats and hit up numerous clubs and shoe shows. I never hear a guy say he wants to come here looking for love….lust maybe but not love

valvacious

January 25th, 2013
9:13 am

IMO, dating in Atlanta can be hard and frustrating if you are a single female and over 30.

Atlanta is a big city but it is spread out. So you have many pockets of energy scattered around. It can be hard to know where to go and hang out with professionals your age. Most cities our size have a vibrant downtown area / entertainment district . ( Streets of nice cafe’s, upscale stores, etc. where you can walk to and fro) Not here.

Factor in this: People in the south tend to get married very early and have kids. This makes the circle of available professional men smaller.

Older people in the south love to entertain at their lovely homes, so unless you are in their social group, you will not be invited. So this makes the circle of professional men younger because the older guys are not coming out as much as the younger guys.

Best thing to do is join Meetup.com so you will know what’s going on and where. Expand your circle of friends. It’s better to meet someone through so one, so let others know you are looking to date.

Bluzgirl

January 25th, 2013
9:19 am

I’ve just joined Meetup.com but haven’t seen anything I want to attend yet…

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
9:20 am

Hey Lady and MMeello….I’m dragging in here this morning….lol Just got to work. I was initially blogging from home.

LeeH1

January 25th, 2013
9:24 am

Funny, I get the same reaction from men in other towns when discussing the date scene in Atlanta. They have seen much of the possibilities here, and pity me for having to deal with so many desperate and less talented and less wealthy women in Atlanta, compared to other cities. For professional men, the market is high, but the buyers are a bit disappointing.

disco

January 25th, 2013
9:27 am

lol. good old Atlanta. I do not deny that I had some good times down that way. there was a stretch of time that I hit the highway almost every Friday after work and got it in and came on home Sunday night. thing is – and it may just be the circles I run in and the company I keep but – for the most part I, too feel sorry for the single in Atlanta. heck, I feel sorry for the married in Atlanta. Atlanta is almost (imo) a freaking free for all. nothing and no one matters. everybody is going for theirs. sure I know that’s extreme and I know there are exceptions but that is definitely my take. am I saying Atlanta is the only place like that. definitely not.

btw – good morning folks.

DuShawn

January 25th, 2013
9:48 am

You all must see a different Atlanta than I do. Life is great here. I live in a beautiful neighborhood with palatial homes with manicured lawns. I got a fine a$$ wife, some cute, healthy kids, and I’m getting paper. I would be a beast in this town if I were dating. I see a beautiful woman everywhere I go. They are unavoidable. I have seen four today…..and it’s not even 10:00am.

Robert

January 25th, 2013
9:59 am

“Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap?”

Black women from DC will immediately identify a man from the South (ATL) and label him a “Bama” by the way he dresses. Men from ATL act and dress differently (loud color suits, hats, shoes, excessive jewelry, gold teeth, 2 ear rings, mutiple tattoo’s, etc.) than men from DC who dress more conservative. Men from ATL are immature, less educated and lack the potential in finding and keeping a job leading to a successful career.

The dating scene in ATL is the same everywhere for black women looking for a good black man. It is no secret that black men all across the USA are under-achieving which has a direct affect on black women and relationships.

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
10:02 am

Morning All & TGIF!!

Du – I’m with you, life is good in my beloved ATL. And I said the same even when I was single. A lot of blanket statements are made about the city, some that you could probably say about any other major city. I agree with Courtside, just haters!LOL!! Fact is, folks are busy complaining but not going anywhere or racking their brains to find a way to get here! I just don’t see any city where perfect single men are lined up looking for wives and vice-versa. Name me one place and I can bet there are folks that are there that would look at you like you have 3 heads and say they are looking to leave! Michael Baisden did a show on this just last week I think. People were saying don’t come to XYZ city looking for a hub/wife and someone else would call in and say just the opposite about that same city!!

Whereever you are, just get in where you fit in and make it work! Don’t blame the city, look in the mirror if things are not working out for you!

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:04 am

Robert, pllleeeeeeeeease stop saying “bama.” It’s bama to say bama.

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:08 am

Oh, and all the generalizations, I don’t see or get it. As this topic has been discussed a few times over the years, it’s not the locale. Every city has it’s share of the good the bad and the uglies. I didn’t think dating around was exclusive to Atlanta, or the south for that matter.

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
10:11 am

And ANYBODY that judges an entire city of women, or men for that matter, because of a freaking scripted REALITY SHOW is absolutely, hands down, STUPID!!!!!!

MsAtl

January 25th, 2013
10:12 am

Morning All!

I do not have enough experience with dating in Atlanta. However, generally I would not make such a blanket statement as there are no good or professional men available. In speaking with friends, I have heard both good and bad dating experiences. I do think Atlanta gets a bad rap. Is it from reality shows? Perhaps.
Happy Friday!

Robert

January 25th, 2013
10:15 am

@Celisea – “Black women from DC will immediately identify a man from the South (ATL) and label him a “Bama” by the way he dresses.”

Ask any woman from DC,MD,VA and she will tell you that ATL is full of “Bama’s” which means – “Country” – or – “undesirable” men. This is a fact.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 25th, 2013
10:21 am

“Robert”

Atlanta is home to world class and historic colleges. In fact, they’re an economic driver, the reason that companies establish businesses here; the talent these colleges produce are ripe for new ideas.

I’ve been to DC, the ladies there are attractive – no doubt, but all I’ve ever gotten was affection for my southern twang and manners (apparently, something – ancedotally – the northern boys don’t have/use).

As for the gold teeth and loud colors – you must be referring to the early 90’s. Guilty as charged.

The tats, now, are ubiquitous. Their permeance knows no region, state, socioeconomic class anymore.

While you’re entitled to your opinion; I think it may be slightly outdated a current perspective on the dating prospect from Atlanta, as seen by the women of the DC-Maryland-Virginia metroplex

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:21 am

Robert – I totally get the connotation, but I’m just saying, it’s equally country to believe everything is country. I just hope you’re not reading from the urban dictionary…..lololololol That can be misleading.

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
10:22 am

Robert – And those same women would be breaking their neck to move here and marry one of those Bama ATL men if given the opportunity, whatever he was wearing if he had the “right” job and everything else going for him! You can bet on that!!LOL!!!

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
10:25 am

it’s equally country to believe everything is country

Celisea – Thank you, I am glad to here somebody say this!!! I get SO SICK of it!!

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:26 am

It’s almost like someone let you in on a definition and you’re running haywire with it…lololol Like pointing at everything and everybody from the south and yelling “BAMA!!!”, kind of like overkill. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:27 am

Kimmie – We’re on overkill right about now. “Bama” is reference in 98% of his posts…..lololol

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:28 am

DuShawn

January 25th, 2013
10:28 am

“Men from ATL are immature…..”, @Robert……First of all, that sounds like something a female would say. To speak to your point, I found the opposite to be true. When I initially relocated here, I would often ear hustle on neighboring conversations, be it at a bar or the barbershop or wherever. It was refreshing to hear these men, that I didn’t know, speak on entrepreneurial opportunities, their political views or general social commentary. I remember thinking “these cat’s up here don’t discuss bullsh&^t, they’re saying something that means something” I’ve been here now for 7 years. All of the men I consider friends in this town are educated, well read, well spoken and some are millionaires. Like my father always told me; “If you are the smartest man in your circle…..you need to get a new circle.”

disco

January 25th, 2013
10:34 am

dushawn – re smart circles. lol. I do have a circle of friends where I am without a doubt the smartest in the group. thing is I love my girls and accept them just as they are. they are the real me deep down inside when you wipe off the 9 to 5. I have my more educated circles and for the most part my dealings with them seem forced and shallow. we’re cool but we’ll never be as cool as that other circle. it is what it is.

Lady~it is what it is!

January 25th, 2013
10:38 am

interesting familiarity~ ;)

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 25th, 2013
10:39 am

I am with Dushawn on this…. As a single, educated, finacially secure, straight male, I am having a BALL in the A!!!!! Lots of beautiful women, tons a things to do, easy access to everywhere else in the county……I can’t imagine what else a single dude could possible ask for??? ( A beach maybe) but not a whole lot else…..

Bluzgirl

January 25th, 2013
10:39 am

That’s like us white southerners all being labeled as “Redneck”…

disco

January 25th, 2013
10:41 am

I’m surprised the word bama is still in circulation. lol. I used to use it all willy nilly now it only comes out every blue moon. now country. I call folks country all the time. with me country is both a compliment and an insult depending on how I use it. my grandma can get her country on when she’s cooking fresh vegetables she picked out of her garden while cutting up a whole chicken when she could have bought one already cut up and it’s all good or I can call some nasty trick walking around barefoot country. that’s not all good.

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 25th, 2013
10:45 am

Robert, sounds like you have been “Bested” by a couple of the “Bama’s” that you speak so lowly of…. Almost like I hear a little bitterness in your voice….

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
10:45 am

disco – First of all, Hey!! Second, I get where you are coming from, I really do and in some ways agree. Your real friends from the neighborhood or school or whatever are just that, real.

But I get all day where Du is coming from too. The south in general gets a bad rap and mostly from folks that don’t know. They think everyone is backwards. I didn’t understand that until I grew up and visited other places. Growing up here, I got to be around some of the brightest and the best this nation has to offer. And on top of that, genuinely nice people, not stuck up.

There is no reason why a smart circle and a cool circle of friends can’t be one in the same! I know it cause I have it!

disco

January 25th, 2013
10:49 am

kimmie – actually I never got caught up in the calling “country”/southern folks slow or backwards (lol). if anything I find myself constantly amazed at how much they throw around the term yankee. I spent my whole life living in the north and didn’t hear much about Yankees. move down south and all of a sudden I’m the “office yankee”. what the heck is up with that? lol.

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
10:57 am

Off topic: I had a rigorous workout last night. I did three miles on the treadmill. I’m feeling “Tony the Tiga” great today!! Got plans tonight so no gym, but I’ll be there with bells on tomorrow :mrgreen:

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
11:03 am

disco – I guess the whole “country” thing has gotten really old with me lately. I don’t think anyone has the right to look down on anyone. If you do, I say be able to back it up. I know people who don’t have jack going for themselves that go around and just for the sheer fact someone is from ATL or anywhere in the south, they automatically call them country and put them down. Everything about them that is different is “country”. Some have the nerve to question another’s class because of geography. But funny, they still live here!LOL!!

I know folks that might have one tooth, but have more class and more going for themselves than those shouting “country” all the time.

I think especially our people, until we get ourselves together collectively, really don’t have a leg to stand on in that respect. We really can’t look down our noses at anybody in my opinion.

Exiled

January 25th, 2013
11:07 am

Cee…ur plans tonite necesitated the rigorous workout at the gym or it was just a routine workout? :lol: :lol:

aint mad@cha girl…buddy is top notch right.. ?

As for the topic…does Atlanta have a rap(good or bad depending on sexuality)???

Is that what the pity directed at Diva is ALL about?

Atlanta has VERY fine women…no doubt..a str8 man wil have neck spasms if not careful.. :lol:

What do the Atlanta Women say about their chances of finding men here??

Ita a Friday and I am waaaay too busy fro a friday and Payday…

Any hoo..glad I got a damn good..j o b….luv it!

DuShawn

January 25th, 2013
11:09 am

disco – The interesting thing about my ATL potnahs, even though they are extraordinary gentlemen, they some hood dudes. They are not bougie or elitist. They’re humble, understated and seldom speak on their accomplishments. I have been to some of the hardest hoods Atlanta has to offer with these men and they are known and respected there. That’s why I f&^ks with them. This one brother comes to mind, dog has been an Engineer for a fortune 500 for 20 years. He got whips, houses and got be 150 suits…..but he also has a landscaping business. It’s not uncommon to see him covered in dirt because he just landscaped three houses on a Saturday morning.

Robert

January 25th, 2013
11:10 am

@DuShawn -” It was refreshing to hear these men, that I didn’t know, speak on entrepreneurial opportunities, their political views or general social commentary”

One of the first things I noticed when I cam to ATL 5 years ago is alot of young black men have big dreams and little desire to see them through. For example I met several young guys who want to be “producers” and make money on music. I am always looking for new business ventures to invest my time, experience and money. Reality is far different than their perceptions about how to be successful. Regardless of how much talent you have (singer, musician, actor/actress, etc.) you still need a business plan and strategy in a very competitive marketplace.

“You can teach a man to fish, so he will feed himself”

kimmie

January 25th, 2013
11:17 am

Robert – You still don’t get it.

Celisea

January 25th, 2013
11:19 am

MMeello – My ins and outs bouts of “gym time”, is always about me. I don’t think I’d been in gym for what 6 or 7 months?

Now you know you ain’t gotta ask, I don’t do “bama” or country dudes. Nothing but standup.

Another off topic: I had “part 2″ of my review yesterday and my manager had NOT ONE NEGATIVE thing to say. She said you had a great year, did well deepening relationships and looking forward to 2013!! Next month we get the numbers. Cross your fingers for FIVE FIGURES!!! Boy Imma be so stoked

DuShawn

January 25th, 2013
11:20 am

@Robert – I believe the men that I speak of are older, wiser and have had more life experiences than the brothers you describe. Experience is a tough teacher……..She gives the tests early and the lessons late.

disco

January 25th, 2013
11:21 am

kimmie – lol. robert is robert girl. lol.

abc

January 25th, 2013
11:24 am

Does Atlanta get a bad rap? Sure; can’t say it’s completely undeserved. Dating after 30? I’d say it’s approximately the same no matter where you are. Judging Atlanta by some reality show? Pretty stupid. Someone in DC having a bad opinion of Atlanta is kind of a laugh, really. Know anyone that really really wants to live in DC? That isn’t already there? Thought not. Plenty of folks want to move to Atlanta, though. That’s because Atlanta is where the work is.

disco

January 25th, 2013
11:31 am

abc – actually I love dc. I used to live there. I moved primarily because it wasn’t working out with a young son in tow. the dc area can wreak havoc on a young impressionable black male if you let it. I got up out of there when the getting was good. still I’ve always loved the area. Atlanta? never been on my radar like that. I know tons of folks can’t wait to make the move to Atlanta but I never even desired to live there. when I dated a guy that way (long distance of course) I was firm in the fact that eventually he’d have to move, not me. Atlanta, to me, has always been about a quick in and out. get in, shop some, party some, experience whatever and get out. just me though. I know the numbers don’t lie. lol.

Exiled

January 25th, 2013
11:34 am

I have been up north and honestly, a lot of the cats i met(black) were so envious or professionally admirers of the fact that i am from Atlanta GA.. I remember even telling one white IT project manager i worked with temporarily that i was going to A for a weekend and he was like’ohh wow”..dont know why….but…

For black folks..they ware always like ohh,its hapening in Atlanta….

Personally, i cant be anywhere else(other than Africa ofcourse)..i can visit some place..sure..but i got it good here..

abc

January 25th, 2013
11:35 am

Actually, me too, pretty much — I like living in the burbs, only go into Atlanta if paid to do so. We’re here for the work. If not for that, no idea where we’d go, really.