Dating: Does Atlanta get a bad rap?
I was in Washington, DC to attend the Inauguration this past weekend. I had an interesting conversation with a few people at a party. Someone asked me where I lived and I proudly said Atlanta. Then that lead to a discussion about dating.
Someone actually felt bad for me because I was single in Atlanta! Like I got the “Aw, you poor thing expression” at least twice. Apparently, a single black woman in Atlanta can pretty much give up all hope of finding a man. Who KNEW?!
It did not take long for me to figure out where they were coming from: Between those dreadful Atlanta reality television shows, excessive number of strip clubs, and the “bachelor” married men, the dating scene in Atlanta gets a bad rap. Many people believe that Atlanta’s dating scene isn’t very appealing.
I tried to defend our city, you guys! I told them that there are many perfectly normal and sane single people living here. Of course, we have our share of misadventures, but doesn’t every city?
Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap? Is it really as bad as others think? What about those of us who live and love here? Is Atlanta conducive to dating success?
Do your friends in other cities believe we are the capital of ratchet and debauchery too?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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151 comments Add your comment
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
8:11 am
Lookie lookie, look who’s first! I have absolutely NOTHING on topic.
Well, I’m out….have a good day!
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
8:24 am
Thank ALL MIGHTY GOD ITS PAYDAY!!!
Whats the topic??
ohh..just me and Ms Celisea….how are u lady…Meelo steeping to Cee.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
8:47 am
Dang,
I had to go through a whole rigamarow just to find this place this morning. WACK
Lady~it is what it is!
January 25th, 2013
8:48 am
hey C & Ex!
Belle with Wisdom
January 25th, 2013
8:49 am
Atlanta – Capital of ratchet and debauchery -That’s about the size of it!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
8:55 am
LOL….. Let it ride Wise Dive…. I use to travel for work quite a bit and as much as I hate this term, I think this tis one of the few places that it truely fits…. The are just HATERS!!!! Invite them to vist the city for a weekend in the spring, and they are racking their brains trying to find a way to be here more often!!!!!
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
8:56 am
I would think that a lot of cities are just like Atlanta. That’s all I got on this topic…
TGIF!!!!!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
9:01 am
As far as guys go, they always want to come here to soar their wild oats and hit up numerous clubs and shoe shows. I never hear a guy say he wants to come here looking for love….lust maybe but not love
valvacious
January 25th, 2013
9:13 am
IMO, dating in Atlanta can be hard and frustrating if you are a single female and over 30.
Atlanta is a big city but it is spread out. So you have many pockets of energy scattered around. It can be hard to know where to go and hang out with professionals your age. Most cities our size have a vibrant downtown area / entertainment district . ( Streets of nice cafe’s, upscale stores, etc. where you can walk to and fro) Not here.
Factor in this: People in the south tend to get married very early and have kids. This makes the circle of available professional men smaller.
Older people in the south love to entertain at their lovely homes, so unless you are in their social group, you will not be invited. So this makes the circle of professional men younger because the older guys are not coming out as much as the younger guys.
Best thing to do is join Meetup.com so you will know what’s going on and where. Expand your circle of friends. It’s better to meet someone through so one, so let others know you are looking to date.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
9:19 am
I’ve just joined Meetup.com but haven’t seen anything I want to attend yet…
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
9:20 am
Hey Lady and MMeello….I’m dragging in here this morning….lol Just got to work. I was initially blogging from home.
LeeH1
January 25th, 2013
9:24 am
Funny, I get the same reaction from men in other towns when discussing the date scene in Atlanta. They have seen much of the possibilities here, and pity me for having to deal with so many desperate and less talented and less wealthy women in Atlanta, compared to other cities. For professional men, the market is high, but the buyers are a bit disappointing.
disco
January 25th, 2013
9:27 am
lol. good old Atlanta. I do not deny that I had some good times down that way. there was a stretch of time that I hit the highway almost every Friday after work and got it in and came on home Sunday night. thing is – and it may just be the circles I run in and the company I keep but – for the most part I, too feel sorry for the single in Atlanta. heck, I feel sorry for the married in Atlanta. Atlanta is almost (imo) a freaking free for all. nothing and no one matters. everybody is going for theirs. sure I know that’s extreme and I know there are exceptions but that is definitely my take. am I saying Atlanta is the only place like that. definitely not.
btw – good morning folks.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
9:48 am
You all must see a different Atlanta than I do. Life is great here. I live in a beautiful neighborhood with palatial homes with manicured lawns. I got a fine a$$ wife, some cute, healthy kids, and I’m getting paper. I would be a beast in this town if I were dating. I see a beautiful woman everywhere I go. They are unavoidable. I have seen four today…..and it’s not even 10:00am.
Robert
January 25th, 2013
9:59 am
“Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap?”
Black women from DC will immediately identify a man from the South (ATL) and label him a “Bama” by the way he dresses. Men from ATL act and dress differently (loud color suits, hats, shoes, excessive jewelry, gold teeth, 2 ear rings, mutiple tattoo’s, etc.) than men from DC who dress more conservative. Men from ATL are immature, less educated and lack the potential in finding and keeping a job leading to a successful career.
The dating scene in ATL is the same everywhere for black women looking for a good black man. It is no secret that black men all across the USA are under-achieving which has a direct affect on black women and relationships.
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
10:02 am
Morning All & TGIF!!
Du – I’m with you, life is good in my beloved ATL. And I said the same even when I was single. A lot of blanket statements are made about the city, some that you could probably say about any other major city. I agree with Courtside, just haters!LOL!! Fact is, folks are busy complaining but not going anywhere or racking their brains to find a way to get here! I just don’t see any city where perfect single men are lined up looking for wives and vice-versa. Name me one place and I can bet there are folks that are there that would look at you like you have 3 heads and say they are looking to leave! Michael Baisden did a show on this just last week I think. People were saying don’t come to XYZ city looking for a hub/wife and someone else would call in and say just the opposite about that same city!!
Whereever you are, just get in where you fit in and make it work! Don’t blame the city, look in the mirror if things are not working out for you!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:04 am
Robert, pllleeeeeeeeease stop saying “bama.” It’s bama to say bama.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:08 am
Oh, and all the generalizations, I don’t see or get it. As this topic has been discussed a few times over the years, it’s not the locale. Every city has it’s share of the good the bad and the uglies. I didn’t think dating around was exclusive to Atlanta, or the south for that matter.
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
10:11 am
And ANYBODY that judges an entire city of women, or men for that matter, because of a freaking scripted REALITY SHOW is absolutely, hands down, STUPID!!!!!!
MsAtl
January 25th, 2013
10:12 am
Morning All!
I do not have enough experience with dating in Atlanta. However, generally I would not make such a blanket statement as there are no good or professional men available. In speaking with friends, I have heard both good and bad dating experiences. I do think Atlanta gets a bad rap. Is it from reality shows? Perhaps.
Happy Friday!
Robert
January 25th, 2013
10:15 am
@Celisea – “Black women from DC will immediately identify a man from the South (ATL) and label him a “Bama” by the way he dresses.”
Ask any woman from DC,MD,VA and she will tell you that ATL is full of “Bama’s” which means – “Country” – or – “undesirable” men. This is a fact.
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
January 25th, 2013
10:21 am
“Robert”
Atlanta is home to world class and historic colleges. In fact, they’re an economic driver, the reason that companies establish businesses here; the talent these colleges produce are ripe for new ideas.
I’ve been to DC, the ladies there are attractive – no doubt, but all I’ve ever gotten was affection for my southern twang and manners (apparently, something – ancedotally – the northern boys don’t have/use).
As for the gold teeth and loud colors – you must be referring to the early 90’s. Guilty as charged.
The tats, now, are ubiquitous. Their permeance knows no region, state, socioeconomic class anymore.
While you’re entitled to your opinion; I think it may be slightly outdated a current perspective on the dating prospect from Atlanta, as seen by the women of the DC-Maryland-Virginia metroplex
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:21 am
Robert – I totally get the connotation, but I’m just saying, it’s equally country to believe everything is country. I just hope you’re not reading from the urban dictionary…..lololololol That can be misleading.
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
10:22 am
Robert – And those same women would be breaking their neck to move here and marry one of those Bama ATL men if given the opportunity, whatever he was wearing if he had the “right” job and everything else going for him! You can bet on that!!LOL!!!
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
10:25 am
it’s equally country to believe everything is country
Celisea – Thank you, I am glad to here somebody say this!!! I get SO SICK of it!!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:26 am
It’s almost like someone let you in on a definition and you’re running haywire with it…lololol Like pointing at everything and everybody from the south and yelling “BAMA!!!”, kind of like overkill. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:27 am
Kimmie – We’re on overkill right about now. “Bama” is reference in 98% of his posts…..lololol
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:28 am
referenced
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
10:28 am
“Men from ATL are immature…..”, @Robert……First of all, that sounds like something a female would say. To speak to your point, I found the opposite to be true. When I initially relocated here, I would often ear hustle on neighboring conversations, be it at a bar or the barbershop or wherever. It was refreshing to hear these men, that I didn’t know, speak on entrepreneurial opportunities, their political views or general social commentary. I remember thinking “these cat’s up here don’t discuss bullsh&^t, they’re saying something that means something” I’ve been here now for 7 years. All of the men I consider friends in this town are educated, well read, well spoken and some are millionaires. Like my father always told me; “If you are the smartest man in your circle…..you need to get a new circle.”
disco
January 25th, 2013
10:34 am
dushawn – re smart circles. lol. I do have a circle of friends where I am without a doubt the smartest in the group. thing is I love my girls and accept them just as they are. they are the real me deep down inside when you wipe off the 9 to 5. I have my more educated circles and for the most part my dealings with them seem forced and shallow. we’re cool but we’ll never be as cool as that other circle. it is what it is.
Lady~it is what it is!
January 25th, 2013
10:38 am
interesting familiarity~
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
10:39 am
I am with Dushawn on this…. As a single, educated, finacially secure, straight male, I am having a BALL in the A!!!!! Lots of beautiful women, tons a things to do, easy access to everywhere else in the county……I can’t imagine what else a single dude could possible ask for??? ( A beach maybe) but not a whole lot else…..
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
10:39 am
That’s like us white southerners all being labeled as “Redneck”…
disco
January 25th, 2013
10:41 am
I’m surprised the word bama is still in circulation. lol. I used to use it all willy nilly now it only comes out every blue moon. now country. I call folks country all the time. with me country is both a compliment and an insult depending on how I use it. my grandma can get her country on when she’s cooking fresh vegetables she picked out of her garden while cutting up a whole chicken when she could have bought one already cut up and it’s all good or I can call some nasty trick walking around barefoot country. that’s not all good.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
10:45 am
Robert, sounds like you have been “Bested” by a couple of the “Bama’s” that you speak so lowly of…. Almost like I hear a little bitterness in your voice….
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
10:45 am
disco – First of all, Hey!! Second, I get where you are coming from, I really do and in some ways agree. Your real friends from the neighborhood or school or whatever are just that, real.
But I get all day where Du is coming from too. The south in general gets a bad rap and mostly from folks that don’t know. They think everyone is backwards. I didn’t understand that until I grew up and visited other places. Growing up here, I got to be around some of the brightest and the best this nation has to offer. And on top of that, genuinely nice people, not stuck up.
There is no reason why a smart circle and a cool circle of friends can’t be one in the same! I know it cause I have it!
disco
January 25th, 2013
10:49 am
kimmie – actually I never got caught up in the calling “country”/southern folks slow or backwards (lol). if anything I find myself constantly amazed at how much they throw around the term yankee. I spent my whole life living in the north and didn’t hear much about Yankees. move down south and all of a sudden I’m the “office yankee”. what the heck is up with that? lol.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
10:57 am
Off topic: I had a rigorous workout last night. I did three miles on the treadmill. I’m feeling “Tony the Tiga” great today!! Got plans tonight so no gym, but I’ll be there with bells on tomorrow
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
11:03 am
disco – I guess the whole “country” thing has gotten really old with me lately. I don’t think anyone has the right to look down on anyone. If you do, I say be able to back it up. I know people who don’t have jack going for themselves that go around and just for the sheer fact someone is from ATL or anywhere in the south, they automatically call them country and put them down. Everything about them that is different is “country”. Some have the nerve to question another’s class because of geography. But funny, they still live here!LOL!!
I know folks that might have one tooth, but have more class and more going for themselves than those shouting “country” all the time.
I think especially our people, until we get ourselves together collectively, really don’t have a leg to stand on in that respect. We really can’t look down our noses at anybody in my opinion.
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:07 am
Cee…ur plans tonite necesitated the rigorous workout at the gym or it was just a routine workout?
aint mad@cha girl…buddy is top notch right.. ?
As for the topic…does Atlanta have a rap(good or bad depending on sexuality)???
Is that what the pity directed at Diva is ALL about?
Atlanta has VERY fine women…no doubt..a str8 man wil have neck spasms if not careful..
What do the Atlanta Women say about their chances of finding men here??
Ita a Friday and I am waaaay too busy fro a friday and Payday…
Any hoo..glad I got a damn good..j o b….luv it!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
11:09 am
disco – The interesting thing about my ATL potnahs, even though they are extraordinary gentlemen, they some hood dudes. They are not bougie or elitist. They’re humble, understated and seldom speak on their accomplishments. I have been to some of the hardest hoods Atlanta has to offer with these men and they are known and respected there. That’s why I f&^ks with them. This one brother comes to mind, dog has been an Engineer for a fortune 500 for 20 years. He got whips, houses and got be 150 suits…..but he also has a landscaping business. It’s not uncommon to see him covered in dirt because he just landscaped three houses on a Saturday morning.
Robert
January 25th, 2013
11:10 am
@DuShawn -” It was refreshing to hear these men, that I didn’t know, speak on entrepreneurial opportunities, their political views or general social commentary”
One of the first things I noticed when I cam to ATL 5 years ago is alot of young black men have big dreams and little desire to see them through. For example I met several young guys who want to be “producers” and make money on music. I am always looking for new business ventures to invest my time, experience and money. Reality is far different than their perceptions about how to be successful. Regardless of how much talent you have (singer, musician, actor/actress, etc.) you still need a business plan and strategy in a very competitive marketplace.
“You can teach a man to fish, so he will feed himself”
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
11:17 am
Robert – You still don’t get it.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
11:19 am
MMeello – My ins and outs bouts of “gym time”, is always about me. I don’t think I’d been in gym for what 6 or 7 months?
Now you know you ain’t gotta ask, I don’t do “bama” or country dudes. Nothing but standup.
Another off topic: I had “part 2″ of my review yesterday and my manager had NOT ONE NEGATIVE thing to say. She said you had a great year, did well deepening relationships and looking forward to 2013!! Next month we get the numbers. Cross your fingers for FIVE FIGURES!!! Boy Imma be so stoked
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
11:20 am
@Robert – I believe the men that I speak of are older, wiser and have had more life experiences than the brothers you describe. Experience is a tough teacher……..She gives the tests early and the lessons late.
disco
January 25th, 2013
11:21 am
kimmie – lol. robert is robert girl. lol.
abc
January 25th, 2013
11:24 am
Does Atlanta get a bad rap? Sure; can’t say it’s completely undeserved. Dating after 30? I’d say it’s approximately the same no matter where you are. Judging Atlanta by some reality show? Pretty stupid. Someone in DC having a bad opinion of Atlanta is kind of a laugh, really. Know anyone that really really wants to live in DC? That isn’t already there? Thought not. Plenty of folks want to move to Atlanta, though. That’s because Atlanta is where the work is.
disco
January 25th, 2013
11:31 am
abc – actually I love dc. I used to live there. I moved primarily because it wasn’t working out with a young son in tow. the dc area can wreak havoc on a young impressionable black male if you let it. I got up out of there when the getting was good. still I’ve always loved the area. Atlanta? never been on my radar like that. I know tons of folks can’t wait to make the move to Atlanta but I never even desired to live there. when I dated a guy that way (long distance of course) I was firm in the fact that eventually he’d have to move, not me. Atlanta, to me, has always been about a quick in and out. get in, shop some, party some, experience whatever and get out. just me though. I know the numbers don’t lie. lol.
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:34 am
I have been up north and honestly, a lot of the cats i met(black) were so envious or professionally admirers of the fact that i am from Atlanta GA.. I remember even telling one white IT project manager i worked with temporarily that i was going to A for a weekend and he was like’ohh wow”..dont know why….but…
For black folks..they ware always like ohh,its hapening in Atlanta….
Personally, i cant be anywhere else(other than Africa ofcourse)..i can visit some place..sure..but i got it good here..
abc
January 25th, 2013
11:35 am
Actually, me too, pretty much — I like living in the burbs, only go into Atlanta if paid to do so. We’re here for the work. If not for that, no idea where we’d go, really.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
11:36 am
All of my kinfolks on my mother’s side live in the DC/Maryland area. I used to frequent DC when I was younger, for our family renunions. Boy, I outgrow that….lol The last time I went, I drove up there. Ummm, not doing that again (unless I can help it). The only time we get up that way (when not traveling for work), is for funerals or something tragic. Not making light, but we’ve all grown and have our own lives. My cousin will call and tell his cuzzo (me), that it’s a shame we only come together now for those kinds of life turning events. And I always tell him, the street carries two lanes….lol Nope, not envious of DC AT ALL!!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
11:37 am
Outgrew
Thanks to Robert for sparking the convo today (well at least for a couple of hours)….lol
disco
January 25th, 2013
11:39 am
ex – I know so many folks who jumped and moved to Atlanta like the streets down there were paved with gold. thing is they are living the same raggedy struggle they were living before, they are just living it in Atlanta. guess that’s all that matters to them. lol. I’m not judging but I tell folks all the time. if you are relocating and part of the process involves transferring your section 8 or your food stamps you don’t need to be relocating. just me though.
abc
January 25th, 2013
11:45 am
Propensity of moving to Atlanta is why the place is so full of beautiful women. They come here for work, and the best looking ones are most likely to find it. They’re not from Atlanta; they moved here from someplace else. I made note of that years before I moved here myself — though it had nothing to do with bringing me here. It was work, nothing else.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
11:49 am
Yay! Going to Fat Matt’s Rib Shack tonight! Even though I need to not spend any money this weekend, I’m going anyway. Mags is playing tonight and offered to pay for my gas if we carpool. I’ll probably get to drink the band beer also! I think I can dig deep in my pockets and get some ribs!!!
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:54 am
Diisco..some black fo like being around other black fo…..i was in Hartford CT and Schamburg IL..one time..if u black,u are kinda a rare commodity in some place…and the many black folks in the A with some actually doing a lot profesional wise is an inspiration for others to want to be down here….especially if up north all they do is scavenge for the lower type jobs…
but either way..u got have a plan for ur life..there is money in USA everywhere….altho i think for some,i think,being to other black folks is a huge attraction….
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:54 am
with other black folks
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
12:03 pm
I have quite a bit of family in DC/Maryland. Used to go quite a bit for reunions and visits. The only way I would live there is if my hubs or I got a really good job offer we could not refuse. It’s not the worst place in the world.
ATL is home & I love it!!
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
12:07 pm
Exiled – It is an inspiration and what I’m used to being around. I remember years ago dating this guy from San Diego. His parents & sister came here for a convention of some sort and were staying in a hotel downtown. BF & I went to pick them up for lunch. They were looking out of the windows in awe. I asked them what were they looking at because I didn’t see anything that earthshattering. They said they had never seen so many black people in suits and business attire in one place before!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:23 pm
Wow… I have turned downed my Caucasian colleagues lunch invites so often they have officially stopped asking. I heard them deciding which restaurant they were going to, I was preparing my lie as to why I couldn’t join them and I didn’t even have to use it. They just left without me. During lunch I don’t feel like brown nosing or fake laughing at them corny a$$ jokes. This position, although it pays well, merely provides the stability and steady income needed for me to obtain mortgages. That’s my real hustle. I have no intentions on climbing up corporate…I’m trying to climb out.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
12:25 pm
Du…would you turn them down if they were black colleagues? Just curious
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
12:34 pm
Belle with Wisdom
January 25th, 2013
8:49 am
Atlanta – Capital of ratchet and debauchery -That’s about the size of it!
UMMM, I think Washington has first dibs on that!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
12:39 pm
Hey all, Bama (rotflmao)
Well if you country folks ever want to get away for a romantic vacation (no kids allowed) here are a few places
http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2013/01/18/at-adults-only-caribbean-all-inclusives-butlers-and-booze-await/1844291/
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:48 pm
Bluz – Yeah, If the brothers act like them. I’m turning them down too. Don’t get me wrong, my co-workers are real cool. But during lunch, I like to be alone with my thoughts. I normally go to the park and look at the lake.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:52 pm
kimmie – I was in awe when I first moved here. It took me three months to find out where the white people lived. I moved here from Miami. I’m accustomed to neighborhoods with million dollar plus homes, but typically the people going to those mail boxes didn’t look like me. I could remember my sister driving me around the different developments in the suburbs, all these huge beautiful multi- million dollar homes owned by black folks. I’m thinking everybody in here can’t be a pro athlete, a rapper or a dope dealer. They were scientist, doctors, lawyers, business people and leaders of industry. I was inspired. More importantly, this city provides a realistic and tangible example to my kids that a lavish quality of life is obtainable through hard work, education and good decisions.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
12:52 pm
@Bluzgirl – Fat Matt’s sounds pretty awesome, are the ribs any good?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
12:53 pm
Kimmie your story is like the first time my ex visited. She wanted to go to the mall, so I asked did she want to go to a white mall or a black mall. She gave me a strange look and said black. I took her to South Dekalb, half way through shopping she said “when you said black mall I thought you meant what a lot of black people hang out, not a mall where we weren’t going to see any white people” (LOL)
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:00 pm
Michael – Their ribs are AMAZING!!!! It’s definitely my favorite BBQ joint and I haven’t been in a while. Great blues music every night also.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:03 pm
I just listened to a couple of Johnny Scales’ songs – pretty cool. M/b see u there
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:08 pm
Come on out…I’ll probably be at the band table…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:09 pm
Michael…you into local blues music at all?
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:11 pm
I have friends asking me to go play fat matt’s pretty often. I say ‘how much’? They play there for free! But they say the beer’s free. Hm. BBQ there is okay; to get better you pretty much have to get out in the sticks, around the small towns.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:11 pm
O/T abc ~ I went to the Gino Vanelli concert last night and thought of you. Definitely felt like I attended a concert in the 80’s. His band was really good. His voice still powerful at age 60. Just him and his 5piece band. He’s stuck in the 80’s with his hair tho!
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:12 pm
Now, what about Gino Vanelli makes you think of me?! Actually, I was thinking about his old songs lately.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:13 pm
Still learning @ the locals, I haven’t been (back) in Atl very long. Been to Blind Willies and Northside a couple of times, good stuff. My Ipod is filthy w/Blues!
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:16 pm
abc – Fat Matt’s puts a little in the jar on the weekends and you have to hock tips. It’s pretty easy to get tips from the folks who come in there if you’re a good musician. I’ve seen people make really good money there on a Fri or Sat night. Yes…the beer and food is free for the band.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:17 pm
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:17 pm
‘Course Fat Matt’s is a local landmark. So is The Varsity and The Big Chicken, but I’m not going there for supper either! But some of the younger guys enjoy going there to play, even if it is for free.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:19 pm
Michael – Northside Tavern used to be my home!!! Don’t really go much anymore…only for special events. Love Blind Willies also. Good friends with the manager. There are lots of locals that you will love!!! Johnny is really good, but I’m helping to build a straight blues band.
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:20 pm
Frankly, I don’t play clubs anymore, certainly not for free; but what guys make playing in Atlanta clubs these days is like scale from the 70’s. Pretty sad.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:22 pm
Single ~ The West End Mall is top with SoDekalb coming in second (lol). Is the West End still open?
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:23 pm
abc – the most important thing when playing at Fat Matt’s is to have someone with you who will pass the tip jar every so often. It’s a world famous place where tourists come to visit, so the turnover at the tables is pretty quick. You hit up each round of diners and can bank some dough!
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:24 pm
Very cool, are you a musician?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
1:24 pm
Leggs, yes it is, I told her that wasn’t the blackest, I didn’t want to scare her off Atl on her first trip (LOL)
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:25 pm
It is sad what good musicians make in this town…or rather, don’t make. One of the most frustrating things was trying to haggle with the clubs when I was trying to book dates for bands. I don’t have the time or desire to do that anymore…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:28 pm
I’m just now learning to play the bass and have “Killing Floor” down and have sat in with a couple of bands, but I have a long ways to go. I’m just a big part of the Atlanta blues scene…used to be on the board of the Atlanta Blues Society…am on the board for the Sean Costello Memorial Fund for Bipolar Disorder. Just a huge fan!!!
anonymousella
January 25th, 2013
1:39 pm
wise_diva, you know how i feel about it. my experiences were always lacking. i found it hard to meet someone who met my basic qualifications (never married, no kids, good job, college degree, not ugly) and were also compatible with me (smart, funny, progressive, and shared some of my interests).
i met a lot of dudes who expected me to be impressed by their house, car, and that they picked up the tab at p.f. chang’s (really?). but what i wanted was a dude who would be down for a foreign film, a hike, or some bi bim bap at one of those buford hwy joints. i found that dude, but he is not from atlanta and i didn’t meet him there.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
1:52 pm
Ok…Back from lunch to find out the Bluz is really all about he Blues!!!! Maybe I show up at Fat Matts tonight and do a bit of eyeballin…….
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:54 pm
Court…if you show up tonight, you better find me!!! No lurking! LOL
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:55 pm
Awesome
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
2:06 pm
While getting ready for work this morning, I heard on the radio that Creflo Dollar has to attend anger management classes as part of his punishment for that incident with his daughter. I was looking at my eleven year old at the time and thinking what I would do if she called the police and had me jailed on fictitious allegations. Would I bond out and really whupp her a$$? Would the dynamics of our relationship forever be altered? Inevitably, I would have to forgive her. What would you do?
My little girl barely escaped a beat down the other day. She gonna try to change a “c” to a “b” on her report card with a pen. I tried that 35 years ago. She should’ve at least scanned it to a word document and tried to edit and reprint. After all, she is child of technology. I had every intention of spanking her for lying when I left the office. Thought about it during the commute and changed my mind.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:15 pm
anony.. ~a gf of mine went to PF Chang’s Wednesday night for dinner. I told her of convos we’ve had here about some thinking it’s too pricey of place to take a first date, while others thought it standard, nothing big. She thought it not to live up to its hype. She said she had better food at a chain chinese/thai restaurant. Pretty place, ok food.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:18 pm
Beat the brakes off of her (being my kid), my house, my way, my rules. Once you’re gone, then it’s on you. I wouldn’t advise my kid against just for the heck of it. Like Creflo, he told her no (to the party), for daddy reasons, for reasons of oversight, from experience. Now, as a little girl should have taken her fast butt to bed or watched tv. But you’re gonna buck up at me, IN MY HOUSE, EATING MY FOOD, BATHING IN WARM WATER I PROVIDE AS WELL AS A WARM BED????
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:18 pm
DuS – To this day my mom brings up the time I changed my failing grade to a B. When she found out it was a fraud, she tore my behind up. That was one of those, jumping all over the room whoopings.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:19 pm
Beat the brakes off of her (being my kid), my house, my way, my rules. Once you’re gone, then it’s on you. I wouldn’t advise my kid against just for the heck of it. Like Creflo, he told her no (to the party), for daddy reasons, for reasons of oversight, from experience. Now, as a little girl should have taken her fast butt to bed or watched tv. But you’re gonna buck up at me, IN MY HOUSE, EATING MY FOOD, BATHING IN WARM WATER I PROVIDE AS WELL AS A WARM BED???? Yeah, Idda beat the brakes off of her and let the judge deal with me as he see fit…and then let the ALMIGHTY deal with the judge.
lthurm0409
January 25th, 2013
2:24 pm
As an unmarried 30 year old female native of Atlanta, I must say that Atlanta has undoubtedly earned it’s bad rep. I have learned this from personal experience and through the observation of other relationships. I don’t believe that this is attributed to the horrible Atlanta-based reality shows. Although, I cannot deny that some may use these shows to draw associations. We have to remember that some are very gullible and believe what they see to be “reality.” I know many folks who assume Africa is a poor continent because of what they’ve learned via media. When in fact, many African countries are wealthier than our own. But, I digress, the reason this city has become such a poor dating scene is multifactorial. I will always be a Southern girl, but I hope to leave here as soon as I get the chance, and not just because of the dating scene.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
2:26 pm
Why don’t you try TALKING to your child, explain why what they did was WRONG, make sure they understand, then make them go apologize to the teacher. Far more painful than physical retributions.
We have brains for a reason, please don’t beat your kids.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:29 pm
When my sister was in her final stages, my mom and dad moved in with her to care for her around the clock. Well, that worked out for me because the school van would pick my kid up from preK and drop her off there. Anyhoo, my sister cracked up telling this little story. My kid was sooooooooooo cute as a baby (would make you melt like butta), anyhoo, she gives her progress report to my sister to read. It’s written in cursive. Mind you she was a smart little something. She couldn’t “read” per se, but she had enough sense to know the writing was not printed. Soooo, she asks my sister to read to her (no kidding), the teacher’s note (underneath the grades). So my sister read it back to her. The teacher is saying my kid is a chatty cathy (naturally) and getting distracted by talking too much. So, my sister says she got quiet, looked at her with puppy dog eyes and asks, “am I in trouble?” So, she said she was holding laughing at the scared expression and answers, “yep.” She then asks, “you can’t sign?” And she answers “nope.” She then asks “my mama has to sign?” And she answers “yep.” And directed her to the sofa, “til your mama gets here”….lololol When I walked in, she looked sooo pitiful. I knew to ask for the progress report she wasn’t looking at tv or coloring or playing. Yeah, stuff happens early….lololol Of course that was just talking too much and fortunately I didnt’ experience changing of the grades but the “talking too much” has been since she’s been enrolled in preK…..til now
Mark Kerry
January 25th, 2013
2:33 pm
Robert @9:59: Agree about men in Atlanta…
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
2:38 pm
Michael..thats all well and good on Family Ties, but in the real world You BEAT THAT ASS and then you explain that if they try it again you will be there and ready for rround two!!!!
( This coming from the single guy with no kids!!! LOL)
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:40 pm
As a child, one of the hardest things I heard from my mom was that she was disappointed in something I did. But she still tore my butt up though AFTER our talk
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:42 pm
DuShawn ~ I believe the dynamics of the relationship would forever be frazzled as a result of the false allegations.
In my day, a whoop ass would have been performed, but now, I think a sit down heart to heart talk about consequences might suffice. Second time around, tell her to pick a switch….
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:42 pm
Like my daddy would say, “it’s a bad wind that never changes.” I sooo get it. We are in 2013 and some folks you just have to shake your head at and K.I.M. I’m not buying foolishness this year. I can easily dismiss myself than acknowledging foolishness. On a blog, folks still changing names to hurl insults and take jabs. Yeah, that’s reaaaal grown up. So, so sad. I pity people that can’t learn, grow and move on to bigger and better.
It’s blog in the free world where we all reside. Let folks live and let live the way they see fit. I for one, “DON’T NEED NOBODY” advising me on how or what to do IN MY LIFE….MY OWN PERSONALLY LIFE. I’m a TRUE believe, let and let live and let God be the judge. Can’t tell folks how to raise their kids….IJS
That’s why the blog barely moves. The same BS behavior. Day in and freaking day out….gheesh….GIVE IT A FREAKING REST!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:45 pm
I too have grown and am more incline to have a talk….especially with kids getting older. BUT IN THE CASE OF CREFLO, if I tell you you don’t need to go to a party, I ain’t gotta explain why. The answer is NO…DANGGIT! lololol I’m looking out for YOUR (being the kid) best interest. You wanna buck and gon walk out anyway? Ummm, yeah you getting jacked and a knot pulled up in you. Now, you wanna accept “no”, like a kid should, then it’s all good.
Mark Kerry
January 25th, 2013
2:46 pm
DuShawn, where do you meet your social circle? Mine is full of those where I am, by far, the smartest (unfortunately)
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
2:46 pm
If that’s how you parent, then you don’t know what you’re doing, dude. I’ve got two lovely teenage daughters, this has been my lifelong approach and it works. Animals use violence. Come on, dude…
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:51 pm
Animals use violence?? I don’t know one kid that wasn’t whooped growing up! Our parents didn’t believe in “time out.” The only “time out” was the time it took to find the “right” belt!!!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
2:56 pm
Mike B – “explain why what they did was WRONG….”that’s pretty much what I did. I really felt that I failed her because lately I haven’t allocated sufficient time to assist her with her studies. I explained to her, that I’m not mad about the grade as much as I am about the deceit. Why tell a lie when the truth will do. I took away all electronics and she is grounded indefinitely.I Spoke to the instructor and we formulated a game plan to get her back on track. She has to spend an hour daily on Kahn Academy tutorials as well as read the chapter from her text book that was covered in class to me aloud every night. Now as far as the police matter goes, I don’t know if you have ever been to jail, but it’s not fun. Bad things happen there. If my daughter was to send me there undeservingly, I’m tearing her a$$ out the frame on sight, and the same goes for her mama if she was to ever call them folks on me. Don’t play with me like that.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:58 pm
Celisea – Um….you aight hun? I’m not sure what all prompted that. Woosah that out chica because it’s Friday. lol
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:00 pm
Slim – I’m straight.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
3:01 pm
I can say that I got the belt maybe two times in my childhood and hated it so much that I tried to be the good girl! I’m with Slim…hearing that they are disappointed hurt much worse than the belt ever could.
My brother was the little hellion of the family. He got the belt many, many times! I remained the good kid until my rebellious phase at 17!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:09 pm
Shoot, back in my day you didn’t even think along the lines of calling the authorities on your parents
heck no. But, the lines being crossed were much further back in our day. The stuff kids we did versus the envelope pushing these days pales in comparison. But just thinking about it now (cause again, it never entered your mind), by the time you dial “zero” for the operator, on a rotary phone, youdda been knocked (okay smacked) out before the dial could come back….lololol
Signs of the time when a kid decides to buck, IN HER PARENT’S FACE, and gon do what she wants anyway.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:12 pm
Excuse all my typos for today…..lolololol I’ll put that in one post.
I’m out of here. I’ve sort of dragged in getting my stuff done today. Enough playing.
Toodles
abc
January 25th, 2013
3:13 pm
Oh, teenagers. What a treat. I am so glad mine are grown and out on their own! Seriously, if I’d have known what it’d be like to have teenagers, I would have never had children. I absolutely would not do it again.
Jira
January 25th, 2013
3:26 pm
I always remember my mother would say to me – I beat you because I love you. I did not understand then – but I understand now.
She talked alright – while I got my little behind lit up. Her words were as swift as the belt she held in her hand – however both forms of communication were crystal clear.
A lot has changed. Now you have local officials and various agencies blantantly taking the authority away from good parents (who are all for teaching their children better) and putting it in the hands of the child who may not have had the opportunity to live comfortably if it were not for the discipline their parents received when they were children.
Since it’s generally known “we” tend to administer our own form of discipline which did not always resort to butt whupping. I definitely believe this is another successful attempt from the powers that be to permanently divide and conquer people of color in general. Go through the child to bring down the head.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
3:39 pm
If my child called the police on me, what would I do. Hmmm be in jail later for child neglect, because if you grown enough to call the police, you grown enough to get out on you own.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:42 pm
Ut, ut, ut….whoop there it is….just got the call with my bonus
It ain’t ten figures but it’s dang more significant than last year….aaaand, my first travel laid out for the year. Two weeks from now. Hope it ain’t snowing or icing. IJS
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:44 pm
Funny I’d joked about it earlier. When my coworker sent me a message that she got “the call”, and my manager called and said “give me a shout” when you get this, I KNEW THAT WAS THE CALL
Im cheesing now….
Back to work
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
3:57 pm
I used to work with this lady whose daughter I would genuinely deem a “bad seed”. It seemed no matter what she did with or for her, that child would show out. It started when she was very young and got put out of nursery school because they just couldn’t handle her. When she got older, she called DFACS twice on her mother. Her dad lived in another state and rarely saw her. She would pull all kind of stunts – stole 2 of her mother’s Coach bags and took them to school and tried to sell them. Her mom’s fiance at the time gave the mom $300 and the girl went in her purse and stole it. She should be at least 18 now. I wonder where she is or what she is doing. I know they sent her to a juvy boot camp one summer and that helped for a few months, then she was back at it!
abc
January 25th, 2013
4:02 pm
You don’t have to beat your kids for them to call the cops on you. All they have to do is say that they’re afraid to go home, because they THINK you’ll beat them. One of mine did that when he was 15 or 16, and he never even had a spanking in his life. What worked with him was isolation, he hated to be by himself. Cops dayum near hauled me in, too, the chick cop especially wanted to lock me up.
I have no use for cops.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
4:07 pm
Damn…..Talking about bad ass kids is depressing…..
Soooooooo…. I guess I need to start working on my plan to catch the Bluzgirl at Fat Matts…..
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:10 pm
Bluz you got me thinking about riding over to fat matts to get me a samich tonight
I haven’t had any of their bbq in almost 13 years
anonymousella
January 25th, 2013
4:12 pm
leggs, that’s pretty much how i feel about p.f. chang’s and chain restaurants generally. i’ve said this several times on this blog over the years back when M.I.A. was “Mia.” but chain restaurants immediately signal that you (1) are not a gourmand, (2) haven’t made the effort to know your city, and (3) probably aren’t that adventurous. since those are pretty much my raisons d’être, we might not get on that well.
chain restaurants are cool when we’re all booed up and settled and stuff. but if you’re trying to impress that, IMHO, ain’t the way.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:16 pm
“permanently divide and conquer people of color in general. Go through the child to bring down the head”. …..@Jira I never thought about it like that, interesting theory. I can remember speaking to a woman that was struggling and was on public assistance. She told me her child’s father had to move out of the home or her benefits would be reduced. I thought, so this legislation rewards families without fathers and penalizes those families that choose to stay together…..another interesting theory.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:17 pm
Ya’ll come on!!! I think we’ll probably be there by 7 since he has to set up. Not sure yet what I’m wearing, but I have shoulder length dark brown hair. I’ll be by the stage, so just come on up to me!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:21 pm
One more kid comment, After the Falcons game last Sunday a buddy of mine was catching the train home from the Dome. There was this 8 year old kid on board that was out of control, running back and forth down the aisle, bumping into people, yelling, just plain misbehaving. Everyone on the train was thinking this little boy needs to get popped a sit his little behind down and be quiet. The mother was right there and said nothing. My potnah couldn’t stand it any longer and told the little boy to go sit down somewhere, lil man bucked up at him. My buddie turned him around and swatted him on the behind with his hand. The whole train dayum near applauded………the next stop, the mother told the Marta police and my buddy spent the night in jail…… no bullshiznit.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:23 pm
Celisea ~ just finished meeting with my boss to calibrate my bonus this year. Glad to be on a job where bonuses are still given!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:28 pm
Bluz, I’ll just be passing through, some of lowly Bama’s have to work on the weekend
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:28 pm
DANG! I wondered what would have happened if he just picked the boy up and plopped on his mother’s lap. Even though the kid deserved the swat, unfortunately, you can’t willy nilly touch someone’s child. UNFORTUNATELY…
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
4:29 pm
Leggs – Aaaaaaaaaaaamen! My coworker is busy tossing around and trying to guess, who got how much
, and I’m thinking I’m just happy I was awarded one and waaaaaaaay better than last year, with all the ballplayer mess. I mean, already know those “favored” more will get more that’s the nature of the business. For that I say that’s on the manager and to them….let your conscious be your guide. They have tow work that out with the man upstair!! Other than that, I’m grateful and can do some thangs. Nothing but gratitude here!!
Oh, the ballplayer did NOT make his goals. He’s a REAL sourpuss these days…lol Payback is a mug
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:30 pm
Dushawn, Her childs father?? Umm how is that dividing up the family when he wasn’t willing to make them a family?
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
4:33 pm
Single – I was thinking the same thing and-the government is thinking why public assistance if you got a able-bodied man living there?
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:34 pm
Single…it’s cool if you just drop by…just make sure you find me and say hi! Would love to put a face with a name…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:36 pm
Alright ya’ll…I gotta jet. Gonna sneak out of the office cause I need to get home and get ready quick before Mags gets there!
Hope to see a couple of you tonight!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:36 pm
S/H If he stayed in the home, making min wage and contributed $250 per month to the household, they’re benefits would be reduced my $350. These are approximate numbers of course. Point being, The father remaining in the home and working would actually decrease the overall family income.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:38 pm
Don’t forget everybodys not as fortunate.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:41 pm
Du, how fortunate did he have to be to marry her? Since we’re using ifs, what IF he stayed in the home and made nothing, should I have to support them?
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:46 pm
The system is making it more profitable not to try. Would you work if they paid you more not to? Oh and BTW you are supporting them. They still live in the Pork and Bean projects right now on 15th ave in Liberty City. But he got 24’s on the chevy.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:47 pm
People waste so much time trying to figure out other’s salaries and/or bonuses. Worry about your own check/bonus and run your life within your means!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:50 pm
Du, I do work, so does that answer your question! So you have no problem with someone having 24’s on a chevy, but bitching cause they got put out of the projects?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
Du, I could have some sympathy for them if they were married and fell on hard times, and they were told that. but from your words, naw that’s not the system trying to break up a family, that’s someone who’s learned how to play the system to their advantage.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
S/H I really couldn’t care less what that dude and his family are going thru….Happy Friday!
Jira
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
Dushawn
Yes, it’s a shame but it does appear that way. If she lives alone with her children it’s pretty much established she’ll receive more funding/ assistance. If he’s there and in some cases has always been there but may find himself temporarily out of work or the job he’s accepted in the meantime (until he finds something better) doesn’t quite cut it – the deal is now: She is required to report him to their local CSE (Child Support Enforcement office) in order to receive medical, food or any additional funding in return. Does not matter that he’s been involved in every aspect of the child’s life and relatively takes care of the child. He’s there and that’s a problem. So she has to choose between having the support she and the children need at that very moment versus the father.
We know how that often turns out. And she can kiss the foundation good-bye or take a risk at committing fraud. It can go either way but neither one is good.
Stay alone, unprotected and lack stability = High Risk and we’ll assist you. Or remain a family and struggle through your rough times together without temporary assistance. It’s designed to keep them divided and always in need. But we all have choices no matter how hard.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:58 pm
Dang, know I should have stayed away (LOL)
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:59 pm
Jira, that’s exactly the point I was attempting to make. You said it more eloquently.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
5:01 pm
Sounds like the movie “Sounder” (1972). This is 2013.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
5:04 pm
any man living with a woman and their children in the projects isn’t trying to make a family but just looking for somewhere to lay his head and live off the system. Especially one with a Chevy sitting on 24’s. Exploiting the system!!
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
5:06 pm
Well, the last sentence has some merit, Single!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
5:11 pm
If you want to be a family get married and be one! don’t get mad when the rules you agreed to live under suddenly get enforced!
Jira
January 25th, 2013
5:26 pm
The individuals I speak of were not in the projects with dope boy rides who are apparently proud of living off of government assistance and fraudulent tax refunds.
There are real hard working people out there who actually take pride in caring for themselves and their families without the interference, policies and regulations of our government. So for them it hurt like heyal to even consider asking for help via their local agency in the first place.
No matter the case, the system is not there nor is it sending a message to encourage families to stay and work together. It simply has a way of luring those who are in need of a little hand up (versus a handout) to selling out for the sake of money instead of maintaining a strong family foundation.
Despite the latest fad in today’s society, the joys and pains of parenthood was not designed for one individual to take on alone. It is an experience that should be shared if for nothing else – at least for the sake of the child.
roadkill
January 25th, 2013
6:08 pm
what gonna happen after mia change to da new system…haha