Dating: Does Atlanta get a bad rap?
I was in Washington, DC to attend the Inauguration this past weekend. I had an interesting conversation with a few people at a party. Someone asked me where I lived and I proudly said Atlanta. Then that lead to a discussion about dating.
Someone actually felt bad for me because I was single in Atlanta! Like I got the “Aw, you poor thing expression” at least twice. Apparently, a single black woman in Atlanta can pretty much give up all hope of finding a man. Who KNEW?!
It did not take long for me to figure out where they were coming from: Between those dreadful Atlanta reality television shows, excessive number of strip clubs, and the “bachelor” married men, the dating scene in Atlanta gets a bad rap. Many people believe that Atlanta’s dating scene isn’t very appealing.
I tried to defend our city, you guys! I told them that there are many perfectly normal and sane single people living here. Of course, we have our share of misadventures, but doesn’t every city?
Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap? Is it really as bad as others think? What about those of us who live and love here? Is Atlanta conducive to dating success?
Do your friends in other cities believe we are the capital of ratchet and debauchery too?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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151 comments Add your comment
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:40 pm
As a child, one of the hardest things I heard from my mom was that she was disappointed in something I did. But she still tore my butt up though AFTER our talk
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:42 pm
DuShawn ~ I believe the dynamics of the relationship would forever be frazzled as a result of the false allegations.
In my day, a whoop ass would have been performed, but now, I think a sit down heart to heart talk about consequences might suffice. Second time around, tell her to pick a switch….
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:42 pm
Like my daddy would say, “it’s a bad wind that never changes.” I sooo get it. We are in 2013 and some folks you just have to shake your head at and K.I.M. I’m not buying foolishness this year. I can easily dismiss myself than acknowledging foolishness. On a blog, folks still changing names to hurl insults and take jabs. Yeah, that’s reaaaal grown up. So, so sad. I pity people that can’t learn, grow and move on to bigger and better.
It’s blog in the free world where we all reside. Let folks live and let live the way they see fit. I for one, “DON’T NEED NOBODY” advising me on how or what to do IN MY LIFE….MY OWN PERSONALLY LIFE. I’m a TRUE believe, let and let live and let God be the judge. Can’t tell folks how to raise their kids….IJS
That’s why the blog barely moves. The same BS behavior. Day in and freaking day out….gheesh….GIVE IT A FREAKING REST!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:45 pm
I too have grown and am more incline to have a talk….especially with kids getting older. BUT IN THE CASE OF CREFLO, if I tell you you don’t need to go to a party, I ain’t gotta explain why. The answer is NO…DANGGIT! lololol I’m looking out for YOUR (being the kid) best interest. You wanna buck and gon walk out anyway? Ummm, yeah you getting jacked and a knot pulled up in you. Now, you wanna accept “no”, like a kid should, then it’s all good.
Mark Kerry
January 25th, 2013
2:46 pm
DuShawn, where do you meet your social circle? Mine is full of those where I am, by far, the smartest (unfortunately)
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
2:46 pm
If that’s how you parent, then you don’t know what you’re doing, dude. I’ve got two lovely teenage daughters, this has been my lifelong approach and it works. Animals use violence. Come on, dude…
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:51 pm
Animals use violence?? I don’t know one kid that wasn’t whooped growing up! Our parents didn’t believe in “time out.” The only “time out” was the time it took to find the “right” belt!!!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
2:56 pm
Mike B – “explain why what they did was WRONG….”that’s pretty much what I did. I really felt that I failed her because lately I haven’t allocated sufficient time to assist her with her studies. I explained to her, that I’m not mad about the grade as much as I am about the deceit. Why tell a lie when the truth will do. I took away all electronics and she is grounded indefinitely.I Spoke to the instructor and we formulated a game plan to get her back on track. She has to spend an hour daily on Kahn Academy tutorials as well as read the chapter from her text book that was covered in class to me aloud every night. Now as far as the police matter goes, I don’t know if you have ever been to jail, but it’s not fun. Bad things happen there. If my daughter was to send me there undeservingly, I’m tearing her a$$ out the frame on sight, and the same goes for her mama if she was to ever call them folks on me. Don’t play with me like that.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:58 pm
Celisea – Um….you aight hun? I’m not sure what all prompted that. Woosah that out chica because it’s Friday. lol
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:00 pm
Slim – I’m straight.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
3:01 pm
I can say that I got the belt maybe two times in my childhood and hated it so much that I tried to be the good girl! I’m with Slim…hearing that they are disappointed hurt much worse than the belt ever could.
My brother was the little hellion of the family. He got the belt many, many times! I remained the good kid until my rebellious phase at 17!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:09 pm
Shoot, back in my day you didn’t even think along the lines of calling the authorities on your parents
heck no. But, the lines being crossed were much further back in our day. The stuff kids we did versus the envelope pushing these days pales in comparison. But just thinking about it now (cause again, it never entered your mind), by the time you dial “zero” for the operator, on a rotary phone, youdda been knocked (okay smacked) out before the dial could come back….lololol
Signs of the time when a kid decides to buck, IN HER PARENT’S FACE, and gon do what she wants anyway.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:12 pm
Excuse all my typos for today…..lolololol I’ll put that in one post.
I’m out of here. I’ve sort of dragged in getting my stuff done today. Enough playing.
Toodles
abc
January 25th, 2013
3:13 pm
Oh, teenagers. What a treat. I am so glad mine are grown and out on their own! Seriously, if I’d have known what it’d be like to have teenagers, I would have never had children. I absolutely would not do it again.
Jira
January 25th, 2013
3:26 pm
I always remember my mother would say to me – I beat you because I love you. I did not understand then – but I understand now.
She talked alright – while I got my little behind lit up. Her words were as swift as the belt she held in her hand – however both forms of communication were crystal clear.
A lot has changed. Now you have local officials and various agencies blantantly taking the authority away from good parents (who are all for teaching their children better) and putting it in the hands of the child who may not have had the opportunity to live comfortably if it were not for the discipline their parents received when they were children.
Since it’s generally known “we” tend to administer our own form of discipline which did not always resort to butt whupping. I definitely believe this is another successful attempt from the powers that be to permanently divide and conquer people of color in general. Go through the child to bring down the head.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
3:39 pm
If my child called the police on me, what would I do. Hmmm be in jail later for child neglect, because if you grown enough to call the police, you grown enough to get out on you own.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:42 pm
Ut, ut, ut….whoop there it is….just got the call with my bonus
It ain’t ten figures but it’s dang more significant than last year….aaaand, my first travel laid out for the year. Two weeks from now. Hope it ain’t snowing or icing. IJS
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
3:44 pm
Funny I’d joked about it earlier. When my coworker sent me a message that she got “the call”, and my manager called and said “give me a shout” when you get this, I KNEW THAT WAS THE CALL
Im cheesing now….
Back to work
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
3:57 pm
I used to work with this lady whose daughter I would genuinely deem a “bad seed”. It seemed no matter what she did with or for her, that child would show out. It started when she was very young and got put out of nursery school because they just couldn’t handle her. When she got older, she called DFACS twice on her mother. Her dad lived in another state and rarely saw her. She would pull all kind of stunts – stole 2 of her mother’s Coach bags and took them to school and tried to sell them. Her mom’s fiance at the time gave the mom $300 and the girl went in her purse and stole it. She should be at least 18 now. I wonder where she is or what she is doing. I know they sent her to a juvy boot camp one summer and that helped for a few months, then she was back at it!
abc
January 25th, 2013
4:02 pm
You don’t have to beat your kids for them to call the cops on you. All they have to do is say that they’re afraid to go home, because they THINK you’ll beat them. One of mine did that when he was 15 or 16, and he never even had a spanking in his life. What worked with him was isolation, he hated to be by himself. Cops dayum near hauled me in, too, the chick cop especially wanted to lock me up.
I have no use for cops.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
4:07 pm
Damn…..Talking about bad ass kids is depressing…..
Soooooooo…. I guess I need to start working on my plan to catch the Bluzgirl at Fat Matts…..
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:10 pm
Bluz you got me thinking about riding over to fat matts to get me a samich tonight
I haven’t had any of their bbq in almost 13 years
anonymousella
January 25th, 2013
4:12 pm
leggs, that’s pretty much how i feel about p.f. chang’s and chain restaurants generally. i’ve said this several times on this blog over the years back when M.I.A. was “Mia.” but chain restaurants immediately signal that you (1) are not a gourmand, (2) haven’t made the effort to know your city, and (3) probably aren’t that adventurous. since those are pretty much my raisons d’être, we might not get on that well.
chain restaurants are cool when we’re all booed up and settled and stuff. but if you’re trying to impress that, IMHO, ain’t the way.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:16 pm
“permanently divide and conquer people of color in general. Go through the child to bring down the head”. …..@Jira I never thought about it like that, interesting theory. I can remember speaking to a woman that was struggling and was on public assistance. She told me her child’s father had to move out of the home or her benefits would be reduced. I thought, so this legislation rewards families without fathers and penalizes those families that choose to stay together…..another interesting theory.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:17 pm
Ya’ll come on!!! I think we’ll probably be there by 7 since he has to set up. Not sure yet what I’m wearing, but I have shoulder length dark brown hair. I’ll be by the stage, so just come on up to me!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:21 pm
One more kid comment, After the Falcons game last Sunday a buddy of mine was catching the train home from the Dome. There was this 8 year old kid on board that was out of control, running back and forth down the aisle, bumping into people, yelling, just plain misbehaving. Everyone on the train was thinking this little boy needs to get popped a sit his little behind down and be quiet. The mother was right there and said nothing. My potnah couldn’t stand it any longer and told the little boy to go sit down somewhere, lil man bucked up at him. My buddie turned him around and swatted him on the behind with his hand. The whole train dayum near applauded………the next stop, the mother told the Marta police and my buddy spent the night in jail…… no bullshiznit.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:23 pm
Celisea ~ just finished meeting with my boss to calibrate my bonus this year. Glad to be on a job where bonuses are still given!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:28 pm
Bluz, I’ll just be passing through, some of lowly Bama’s have to work on the weekend
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:28 pm
DANG! I wondered what would have happened if he just picked the boy up and plopped on his mother’s lap. Even though the kid deserved the swat, unfortunately, you can’t willy nilly touch someone’s child. UNFORTUNATELY…
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
4:29 pm
Leggs – Aaaaaaaaaaaamen! My coworker is busy tossing around and trying to guess, who got how much
, and I’m thinking I’m just happy I was awarded one and waaaaaaaay better than last year, with all the ballplayer mess. I mean, already know those “favored” more will get more that’s the nature of the business. For that I say that’s on the manager and to them….let your conscious be your guide. They have tow work that out with the man upstair!! Other than that, I’m grateful and can do some thangs. Nothing but gratitude here!!
Oh, the ballplayer did NOT make his goals. He’s a REAL sourpuss these days…lol Payback is a mug
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:30 pm
Dushawn, Her childs father?? Umm how is that dividing up the family when he wasn’t willing to make them a family?
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
4:33 pm
Single – I was thinking the same thing and-the government is thinking why public assistance if you got a able-bodied man living there?
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:34 pm
Single…it’s cool if you just drop by…just make sure you find me and say hi! Would love to put a face with a name…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
4:36 pm
Alright ya’ll…I gotta jet. Gonna sneak out of the office cause I need to get home and get ready quick before Mags gets there!
Hope to see a couple of you tonight!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:36 pm
S/H If he stayed in the home, making min wage and contributed $250 per month to the household, they’re benefits would be reduced my $350. These are approximate numbers of course. Point being, The father remaining in the home and working would actually decrease the overall family income.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:38 pm
Don’t forget everybodys not as fortunate.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:41 pm
Du, how fortunate did he have to be to marry her? Since we’re using ifs, what IF he stayed in the home and made nothing, should I have to support them?
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:46 pm
The system is making it more profitable not to try. Would you work if they paid you more not to? Oh and BTW you are supporting them. They still live in the Pork and Bean projects right now on 15th ave in Liberty City. But he got 24’s on the chevy.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
4:47 pm
People waste so much time trying to figure out other’s salaries and/or bonuses. Worry about your own check/bonus and run your life within your means!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:50 pm
Du, I do work, so does that answer your question! So you have no problem with someone having 24’s on a chevy, but bitching cause they got put out of the projects?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
Du, I could have some sympathy for them if they were married and fell on hard times, and they were told that. but from your words, naw that’s not the system trying to break up a family, that’s someone who’s learned how to play the system to their advantage.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
S/H I really couldn’t care less what that dude and his family are going thru….Happy Friday!
Jira
January 25th, 2013
4:54 pm
Dushawn
Yes, it’s a shame but it does appear that way. If she lives alone with her children it’s pretty much established she’ll receive more funding/ assistance. If he’s there and in some cases has always been there but may find himself temporarily out of work or the job he’s accepted in the meantime (until he finds something better) doesn’t quite cut it – the deal is now: She is required to report him to their local CSE (Child Support Enforcement office) in order to receive medical, food or any additional funding in return. Does not matter that he’s been involved in every aspect of the child’s life and relatively takes care of the child. He’s there and that’s a problem. So she has to choose between having the support she and the children need at that very moment versus the father.
We know how that often turns out. And she can kiss the foundation good-bye or take a risk at committing fraud. It can go either way but neither one is good.
Stay alone, unprotected and lack stability = High Risk and we’ll assist you. Or remain a family and struggle through your rough times together without temporary assistance. It’s designed to keep them divided and always in need. But we all have choices no matter how hard.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
4:58 pm
Dang, know I should have stayed away (LOL)
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
4:59 pm
Jira, that’s exactly the point I was attempting to make. You said it more eloquently.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
5:01 pm
Sounds like the movie “Sounder” (1972). This is 2013.
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
5:04 pm
any man living with a woman and their children in the projects isn’t trying to make a family but just looking for somewhere to lay his head and live off the system. Especially one with a Chevy sitting on 24’s. Exploiting the system!!
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
5:06 pm
Well, the last sentence has some merit, Single!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
5:11 pm
If you want to be a family get married and be one! don’t get mad when the rules you agreed to live under suddenly get enforced!
Jira
January 25th, 2013
5:26 pm
The individuals I speak of were not in the projects with dope boy rides who are apparently proud of living off of government assistance and fraudulent tax refunds.
There are real hard working people out there who actually take pride in caring for themselves and their families without the interference, policies and regulations of our government. So for them it hurt like heyal to even consider asking for help via their local agency in the first place.
No matter the case, the system is not there nor is it sending a message to encourage families to stay and work together. It simply has a way of luring those who are in need of a little hand up (versus a handout) to selling out for the sake of money instead of maintaining a strong family foundation.
Despite the latest fad in today’s society, the joys and pains of parenthood was not designed for one individual to take on alone. It is an experience that should be shared if for nothing else – at least for the sake of the child.