Dating: Does Atlanta get a bad rap?
I was in Washington, DC to attend the Inauguration this past weekend. I had an interesting conversation with a few people at a party. Someone asked me where I lived and I proudly said Atlanta. Then that lead to a discussion about dating.
Someone actually felt bad for me because I was single in Atlanta! Like I got the “Aw, you poor thing expression” at least twice. Apparently, a single black woman in Atlanta can pretty much give up all hope of finding a man. Who KNEW?!
It did not take long for me to figure out where they were coming from: Between those dreadful Atlanta reality television shows, excessive number of strip clubs, and the “bachelor” married men, the dating scene in Atlanta gets a bad rap. Many people believe that Atlanta’s dating scene isn’t very appealing.
I tried to defend our city, you guys! I told them that there are many perfectly normal and sane single people living here. Of course, we have our share of misadventures, but doesn’t every city?
Why do you think our dating scene gets such a bad rap? Is it really as bad as others think? What about those of us who live and love here? Is Atlanta conducive to dating success?
Do your friends in other cities believe we are the capital of ratchet and debauchery too?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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151 comments Add your comment
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
11:36 am
All of my kinfolks on my mother’s side live in the DC/Maryland area. I used to frequent DC when I was younger, for our family renunions. Boy, I outgrow that….lol The last time I went, I drove up there. Ummm, not doing that again (unless I can help it). The only time we get up that way (when not traveling for work), is for funerals or something tragic. Not making light, but we’ve all grown and have our own lives. My cousin will call and tell his cuzzo (me), that it’s a shame we only come together now for those kinds of life turning events. And I always tell him, the street carries two lanes….lol Nope, not envious of DC AT ALL!!
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
11:37 am
Outgrew
Thanks to Robert for sparking the convo today (well at least for a couple of hours)….lol
disco
January 25th, 2013
11:39 am
ex – I know so many folks who jumped and moved to Atlanta like the streets down there were paved with gold. thing is they are living the same raggedy struggle they were living before, they are just living it in Atlanta. guess that’s all that matters to them. lol. I’m not judging but I tell folks all the time. if you are relocating and part of the process involves transferring your section 8 or your food stamps you don’t need to be relocating. just me though.
abc
January 25th, 2013
11:45 am
Propensity of moving to Atlanta is why the place is so full of beautiful women. They come here for work, and the best looking ones are most likely to find it. They’re not from Atlanta; they moved here from someplace else. I made note of that years before I moved here myself — though it had nothing to do with bringing me here. It was work, nothing else.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
11:49 am
Yay! Going to Fat Matt’s Rib Shack tonight! Even though I need to not spend any money this weekend, I’m going anyway. Mags is playing tonight and offered to pay for my gas if we carpool. I’ll probably get to drink the band beer also! I think I can dig deep in my pockets and get some ribs!!!
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:54 am
Diisco..some black fo like being around other black fo…..i was in Hartford CT and Schamburg IL..one time..if u black,u are kinda a rare commodity in some place…and the many black folks in the A with some actually doing a lot profesional wise is an inspiration for others to want to be down here….especially if up north all they do is scavenge for the lower type jobs…
but either way..u got have a plan for ur life..there is money in USA everywhere….altho i think for some,i think,being to other black folks is a huge attraction….
Exiled
January 25th, 2013
11:54 am
with other black folks
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
12:03 pm
I have quite a bit of family in DC/Maryland. Used to go quite a bit for reunions and visits. The only way I would live there is if my hubs or I got a really good job offer we could not refuse. It’s not the worst place in the world.
ATL is home & I love it!!
kimmie
January 25th, 2013
12:07 pm
Exiled – It is an inspiration and what I’m used to being around. I remember years ago dating this guy from San Diego. His parents & sister came here for a convention of some sort and were staying in a hotel downtown. BF & I went to pick them up for lunch. They were looking out of the windows in awe. I asked them what were they looking at because I didn’t see anything that earthshattering. They said they had never seen so many black people in suits and business attire in one place before!
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:23 pm
Wow… I have turned downed my Caucasian colleagues lunch invites so often they have officially stopped asking. I heard them deciding which restaurant they were going to, I was preparing my lie as to why I couldn’t join them and I didn’t even have to use it. They just left without me. During lunch I don’t feel like brown nosing or fake laughing at them corny a$$ jokes. This position, although it pays well, merely provides the stability and steady income needed for me to obtain mortgages. That’s my real hustle. I have no intentions on climbing up corporate…I’m trying to climb out.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
12:25 pm
Du…would you turn them down if they were black colleagues? Just curious
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
12:34 pm
Belle with Wisdom
January 25th, 2013
8:49 am
Atlanta – Capital of ratchet and debauchery -That’s about the size of it!
UMMM, I think Washington has first dibs on that!
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
12:39 pm
Hey all, Bama (rotflmao)
Well if you country folks ever want to get away for a romantic vacation (no kids allowed) here are a few places
http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2013/01/18/at-adults-only-caribbean-all-inclusives-butlers-and-booze-await/1844291/
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:48 pm
Bluz – Yeah, If the brothers act like them. I’m turning them down too. Don’t get me wrong, my co-workers are real cool. But during lunch, I like to be alone with my thoughts. I normally go to the park and look at the lake.
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
12:52 pm
kimmie – I was in awe when I first moved here. It took me three months to find out where the white people lived. I moved here from Miami. I’m accustomed to neighborhoods with million dollar plus homes, but typically the people going to those mail boxes didn’t look like me. I could remember my sister driving me around the different developments in the suburbs, all these huge beautiful multi- million dollar homes owned by black folks. I’m thinking everybody in here can’t be a pro athlete, a rapper or a dope dealer. They were scientist, doctors, lawyers, business people and leaders of industry. I was inspired. More importantly, this city provides a realistic and tangible example to my kids that a lavish quality of life is obtainable through hard work, education and good decisions.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
12:52 pm
@Bluzgirl – Fat Matt’s sounds pretty awesome, are the ribs any good?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
12:53 pm
Kimmie your story is like the first time my ex visited. She wanted to go to the mall, so I asked did she want to go to a white mall or a black mall. She gave me a strange look and said black. I took her to South Dekalb, half way through shopping she said “when you said black mall I thought you meant what a lot of black people hang out, not a mall where we weren’t going to see any white people” (LOL)
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:00 pm
Michael – Their ribs are AMAZING!!!! It’s definitely my favorite BBQ joint and I haven’t been in a while. Great blues music every night also.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:03 pm
I just listened to a couple of Johnny Scales’ songs – pretty cool. M/b see u there
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:08 pm
Come on out…I’ll probably be at the band table…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:09 pm
Michael…you into local blues music at all?
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:11 pm
I have friends asking me to go play fat matt’s pretty often. I say ‘how much’? They play there for free! But they say the beer’s free. Hm. BBQ there is okay; to get better you pretty much have to get out in the sticks, around the small towns.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:11 pm
O/T abc ~ I went to the Gino Vanelli concert last night and thought of you. Definitely felt like I attended a concert in the 80’s. His band was really good. His voice still powerful at age 60. Just him and his 5piece band. He’s stuck in the 80’s with his hair tho!
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:12 pm
Now, what about Gino Vanelli makes you think of me?! Actually, I was thinking about his old songs lately.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:13 pm
Still learning @ the locals, I haven’t been (back) in Atl very long. Been to Blind Willies and Northside a couple of times, good stuff. My Ipod is filthy w/Blues!
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:16 pm
abc – Fat Matt’s puts a little in the jar on the weekends and you have to hock tips. It’s pretty easy to get tips from the folks who come in there if you’re a good musician. I’ve seen people make really good money there on a Fri or Sat night. Yes…the beer and food is free for the band.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:17 pm
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:17 pm
‘Course Fat Matt’s is a local landmark. So is The Varsity and The Big Chicken, but I’m not going there for supper either! But some of the younger guys enjoy going there to play, even if it is for free.
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:19 pm
Michael – Northside Tavern used to be my home!!! Don’t really go much anymore…only for special events. Love Blind Willies also. Good friends with the manager. There are lots of locals that you will love!!! Johnny is really good, but I’m helping to build a straight blues band.
abc
January 25th, 2013
1:20 pm
Frankly, I don’t play clubs anymore, certainly not for free; but what guys make playing in Atlanta clubs these days is like scale from the 70’s. Pretty sad.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
1:22 pm
Single ~ The West End Mall is top with SoDekalb coming in second (lol). Is the West End still open?
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:23 pm
abc – the most important thing when playing at Fat Matt’s is to have someone with you who will pass the tip jar every so often. It’s a world famous place where tourists come to visit, so the turnover at the tables is pretty quick. You hit up each round of diners and can bank some dough!
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:24 pm
Very cool, are you a musician?
Single and Happy
January 25th, 2013
1:24 pm
Leggs, yes it is, I told her that wasn’t the blackest, I didn’t want to scare her off Atl on her first trip (LOL)
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:25 pm
It is sad what good musicians make in this town…or rather, don’t make. One of the most frustrating things was trying to haggle with the clubs when I was trying to book dates for bands. I don’t have the time or desire to do that anymore…
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:28 pm
I’m just now learning to play the bass and have “Killing Floor” down and have sat in with a couple of bands, but I have a long ways to go. I’m just a big part of the Atlanta blues scene…used to be on the board of the Atlanta Blues Society…am on the board for the Sean Costello Memorial Fund for Bipolar Disorder. Just a huge fan!!!
anonymousella
January 25th, 2013
1:39 pm
wise_diva, you know how i feel about it. my experiences were always lacking. i found it hard to meet someone who met my basic qualifications (never married, no kids, good job, college degree, not ugly) and were also compatible with me (smart, funny, progressive, and shared some of my interests).
i met a lot of dudes who expected me to be impressed by their house, car, and that they picked up the tab at p.f. chang’s (really?). but what i wanted was a dude who would be down for a foreign film, a hike, or some bi bim bap at one of those buford hwy joints. i found that dude, but he is not from atlanta and i didn’t meet him there.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
1:52 pm
Ok…Back from lunch to find out the Bluz is really all about he Blues!!!! Maybe I show up at Fat Matts tonight and do a bit of eyeballin…….
Bluzgirl
January 25th, 2013
1:54 pm
Court…if you show up tonight, you better find me!!! No lurking! LOL
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
1:55 pm
Awesome
DuShawn
January 25th, 2013
2:06 pm
While getting ready for work this morning, I heard on the radio that Creflo Dollar has to attend anger management classes as part of his punishment for that incident with his daughter. I was looking at my eleven year old at the time and thinking what I would do if she called the police and had me jailed on fictitious allegations. Would I bond out and really whupp her a$$? Would the dynamics of our relationship forever be altered? Inevitably, I would have to forgive her. What would you do?
My little girl barely escaped a beat down the other day. She gonna try to change a “c” to a “b” on her report card with a pen. I tried that 35 years ago. She should’ve at least scanned it to a word document and tried to edit and reprint. After all, she is child of technology. I had every intention of spanking her for lying when I left the office. Thought about it during the commute and changed my mind.
Leggs
January 25th, 2013
2:15 pm
anony.. ~a gf of mine went to PF Chang’s Wednesday night for dinner. I told her of convos we’ve had here about some thinking it’s too pricey of place to take a first date, while others thought it standard, nothing big. She thought it not to live up to its hype. She said she had better food at a chain chinese/thai restaurant. Pretty place, ok food.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:18 pm
Beat the brakes off of her (being my kid), my house, my way, my rules. Once you’re gone, then it’s on you. I wouldn’t advise my kid against just for the heck of it. Like Creflo, he told her no (to the party), for daddy reasons, for reasons of oversight, from experience. Now, as a little girl should have taken her fast butt to bed or watched tv. But you’re gonna buck up at me, IN MY HOUSE, EATING MY FOOD, BATHING IN WARM WATER I PROVIDE AS WELL AS A WARM BED????
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 25th, 2013
2:18 pm
DuS – To this day my mom brings up the time I changed my failing grade to a B. When she found out it was a fraud, she tore my behind up. That was one of those, jumping all over the room whoopings.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:19 pm
Beat the brakes off of her (being my kid), my house, my way, my rules. Once you’re gone, then it’s on you. I wouldn’t advise my kid against just for the heck of it. Like Creflo, he told her no (to the party), for daddy reasons, for reasons of oversight, from experience. Now, as a little girl should have taken her fast butt to bed or watched tv. But you’re gonna buck up at me, IN MY HOUSE, EATING MY FOOD, BATHING IN WARM WATER I PROVIDE AS WELL AS A WARM BED???? Yeah, Idda beat the brakes off of her and let the judge deal with me as he see fit…and then let the ALMIGHTY deal with the judge.
lthurm0409
January 25th, 2013
2:24 pm
As an unmarried 30 year old female native of Atlanta, I must say that Atlanta has undoubtedly earned it’s bad rep. I have learned this from personal experience and through the observation of other relationships. I don’t believe that this is attributed to the horrible Atlanta-based reality shows. Although, I cannot deny that some may use these shows to draw associations. We have to remember that some are very gullible and believe what they see to be “reality.” I know many folks who assume Africa is a poor continent because of what they’ve learned via media. When in fact, many African countries are wealthier than our own. But, I digress, the reason this city has become such a poor dating scene is multifactorial. I will always be a Southern girl, but I hope to leave here as soon as I get the chance, and not just because of the dating scene.
Michael B
January 25th, 2013
2:26 pm
Why don’t you try TALKING to your child, explain why what they did was WRONG, make sure they understand, then make them go apologize to the teacher. Far more painful than physical retributions.
We have brains for a reason, please don’t beat your kids.
Celisea
January 25th, 2013
2:29 pm
When my sister was in her final stages, my mom and dad moved in with her to care for her around the clock. Well, that worked out for me because the school van would pick my kid up from preK and drop her off there. Anyhoo, my sister cracked up telling this little story. My kid was sooooooooooo cute as a baby (would make you melt like butta), anyhoo, she gives her progress report to my sister to read. It’s written in cursive. Mind you she was a smart little something. She couldn’t “read” per se, but she had enough sense to know the writing was not printed. Soooo, she asks my sister to read to her (no kidding), the teacher’s note (underneath the grades). So my sister read it back to her. The teacher is saying my kid is a chatty cathy (naturally) and getting distracted by talking too much. So, my sister says she got quiet, looked at her with puppy dog eyes and asks, “am I in trouble?” So, she said she was holding laughing at the scared expression and answers, “yep.” She then asks, “you can’t sign?” And she answers “nope.” She then asks “my mama has to sign?” And she answers “yep.” And directed her to the sofa, “til your mama gets here”….lololol When I walked in, she looked sooo pitiful. I knew to ask for the progress report she wasn’t looking at tv or coloring or playing. Yeah, stuff happens early….lololol Of course that was just talking too much and fortunately I didnt’ experience changing of the grades but the “talking too much” has been since she’s been enrolled in preK…..til now
Mark Kerry
January 25th, 2013
2:33 pm
Robert @9:59: Agree about men in Atlanta…
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 25th, 2013
2:38 pm
Michael..thats all well and good on Family Ties, but in the real world You BEAT THAT ASS and then you explain that if they try it again you will be there and ready for rround two!!!!
( This coming from the single guy with no kids!!! LOL)