Dating Debate: Are men pickier?
If I had a magic wand that could grant single women something they could use (I decided not to make a dirty joke here. You’re welcome) – it would be the gift of being choosy. That’s right, women who decide to become more selective often have better dating experiences. Don’t argue with me, it’s true!
I realized a long time ago that smart men screen a lot better than some women. I don’t know if it is because women are hard wired to be nurturing and understanding, or at times we just get stuck on stupid. Women are often criticized for having checklists, but if we really adhered to those, would men even get anywhere with women?
Why does it seem harder for women to be pickier than our male counterparts? I have seen dudes dismiss a woman with the incorrect butt-to-waist ratio. Ladies? Oh, we forgive physical imperfections, extra pounds, bad credit, and at times bad hygiene!
But…WHY?
Is it because women watch too many romantic comedies, or read too many romance novels? Why do we buy the books about finding love, listen to random people telling women why they can’t keep a man? Should women just become like men and be more selective?
From your own experiences and observations, who do you think is more pickier – women or men? How does this play out on the dating scene?
Happy Thursday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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147 comments Add your comment
Celisea
January 24th, 2013
12:14 pm
ONLY racked up 77 points….
Bluzgirl
January 24th, 2013
12:14 pm
What is Ruzzle? I’ve heard of it a couple of times, but have no idea what type of game it is…
Celisea
January 24th, 2013
12:19 pm
It’s a word game and you have 2 minutes to find as many words as possible. It’s play in three rounds. You can request a friend or you can do a random opponent.
Celisea
January 24th, 2013
12:21 pm
played
Celisea
January 24th, 2013
12:22 pm
Alright, I’m off this thing for today.
Toodles
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
12:30 pm
DuShawn ~ that’s nasty. Your diet may enlarge the butt, but it will also give a woman some considerable girth. Naw, buddy you can keep that one! Nothing in that regime is appealing.
Bluzgirl
January 24th, 2013
12:33 pm
I know that I need to lose some weight, but I’m worried about losing my butt and boobs!!! I wanna keep those!
???????
January 24th, 2013
12:37 pm
Celisea – Do you have Stalker-Dysmorphia? It seems like that is a reoccurring theme with you. (Feeling as if someone is stalking you) Just curious nbfn
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
12:39 pm
I see we’re slowing down up in here but what is this Ruzzle game that I keep hearing about? I play Words with Friends and Scramble
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
12:43 pm
Soooooo…Bluzgirl…You have anice B&B combo Huh???? How tall are you???
Bluzgirl
January 24th, 2013
12:45 pm
LOL Court! Yes…I do…I’m 5′4″…don’t ask my weight, cause I’m not giving it!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
12:51 pm
Hmmmmmmmm………. Interesting….
disco
January 24th, 2013
12:55 pm
bluz – funny you said don’t ask your weight. I was just telling some co-workers that I don’t understand why chicks clam up when asked (if asked). seems to me like you’d rather put it out there than have folks guess.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
12:59 pm
Got this visionin my head of Bluz standing in the hall outside my office….. Everything is fuzzy, but the boobies and the butt is Clear as a bell and N I C E !!!! lol
Bluzgirl
January 24th, 2013
1:02 pm
I personally feel like I don’t look like my weight number. I honestly do have big bones and will never be a tiny girl. I carry my weight well, I think.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
1:10 pm
Hey disco!
To you post earlier, about letting dudes have the butt ratio thing, I let them have it too. We all have our physical preferences, cause I’m like you in that I would not want a guy smaller than me!
But all the fine in the world won’t make up for lazy, sorry, broke, dumb, etc…you get the picture. THAT”S the stuff we need to be picky about!
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
1:28 pm
Disco – Don’t ask me my weight or my age. I don’t care if folks guess and I don’t care what their guess is. Don’t judge me!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
1:41 pm
kimmie – How much do you weigh? Oh and on mo thang, how old are ya?
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
1:45 pm
I wonder if I’ll ever feel offended when someone asks me my age. It has never bothered me. And, that belief that women who speak freely of their age cant hold secretes is so wrong.
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
1:47 pm
secrets…
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
1:47 pm
Leggs – The age question has never bothered me either…plus for those that guess, they low ball it anyway.
Exiled!
January 24th, 2013
1:52 pm
U carry ur weight well but won’t reveal it…even after revealing ur height.
Bad/horrible weight/height combo is fat,chubby etc..and none comforting.
What’s ye weight?
@Bluz…
hurry,Court is hovering…
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
1:55 pm
Leggs – Guys would love a chick who can’t hold her ’secretes’ lol Would probably make them feel like King Ding a Ling
just messing with ya
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
1:56 pm
Yep = “black don’t crack!”
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
2:01 pm
SlimNu ~ I was so hoping no one would turn that into exactly what you turned it into. I new I was hoping beyond hope (lol).
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
2:03 pm
Slim – Guess
I get the not telling age thing from my mom. She said folks back in the day used to say a woman that will tell her age would tell anything! She didn’t have a big problem with her age, but she hated the cattiness of other women. She always looked much younger than her age, so when some other women would find out what her real age was, they would make stank comments. I noticed the same behavior toward me when someone would find out my age, so folks only find out on an as-needed basis. Yeah, I’m a little vain about age and weight. Like I said, don’t judge me. I do what I do and life works out just fine for me!
Exiled!
January 24th, 2013
2:04 pm
So abc is right!
that’s his one concern with women.
So Diva is saying she (still) single coz she’s more selective?
Sounds like a single woman,mid life crisis comforter pill (mentality) to me.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
2:04 pm
I would get the questions like “why haven’t you done this or that by this age?”
Just don’t want to deal with it and it’s none of your business.
Exiled!
January 24th, 2013
2:11 pm
But if I’m looking at you and I like what I see,am I going to change my opinion just coz u tip past a certain weightage? I doubt it.
Age is a lil different.
U definitely don’t wana hilarious at a lady looking younger than her age only to discover she as old as ur mama…
Worse still finding out after she almost tossed u outa the bed with her skills…
and u come to realize ohhh that was a cougar pull move
Exiled!
January 24th, 2013
2:12 pm
Holla
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
2:16 pm
“But if I’m looking at you and I like what I see,am I going to change my opinion just coz u tip past a certain weightage? I doubt it.
Age is a lil different. – Why would it be different if you already like what you see. Is because she’s older than you thought and will be aging that you feel it’s different? Or is that with weight, you can pack it on and take if off when necessary? Can’t turn back Father Time!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
2:18 pm
Leggs – You know I couldn’t resist…
disco
January 24th, 2013
2:18 pm
hey kimmie!!!
ex – I know you directed that to bluz but I’ll answer. I’m a piddly 5’3” tall but a whopping 165 pounds. yep. I hate the way 165 sounds but am cool with how it looks on me.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
2:19 pm
Exiled – Age is important in a few cases – You need to know if a young lady that interests you is of legal age to pursue lest you get accused of statuatory rape. You need to know if a person is of legal age to drink or buy alcohol.
And like it or not, if you want to have children, you do need to keep track of that biological clock. There is no getting around that.
DuShawn
January 24th, 2013
2:20 pm
Ex – I agree with you. It’s an ego preservation mechanism. Just like when a dude gets rejected by a female, he tell himself…I didn’t what her anyway. It’s no coincidence that the women who claim to be the most selective are the actually the least selected. Instead of waiting for Mr. Right, yall need to get with Mr. Right Now.
abc
January 24th, 2013
2:25 pm
Regarding a chick’s age and weight, here’s the rule: don’t ask. You won’t get the truth anyway, and you’ll irritate them just by asking. I know only one girl who doesn’t mind the question (that much) and even with her I have to spend the next however many minutes reassuring her that she’s 10-12 different kinds of hot.
Picky? Pick ya nose, pick ya azz. Choose the mate that’s meant for you, you’ll know them when you see them, hopefully.
Leggs
January 24th, 2013
2:27 pm
SlimNu ~ I know. It fell in your lap and you struggled with playing with it or leaving it alone…temptation too great. You didn’t have the willpower to walk away.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
2:30 pm
I remember back when I was in my mid 20’s. An older couple at my church introduced me to a cousin that was moving to town. He was very handsome, but looked a little older than his assumed age. We hit it off and went out a few times. In conversation on the phone I mentioned the year I graduated from college, which was 2 years before him, so that put our ages at around 23 & 25. You would have thought I was actually 20 years older for the way he started acting towards me! He started making little “over-the-hill” cracks all the time after that and it hurt my feelings. I think we went out one time after that phone convo and his whole attitude had changed. I think if anything, he probably felt insecure that he looked much older than me even though he was younger, because I still looked like a kid. Two years is nothing. I remember telling my mom about it and she was shocked that he was younger! So to some, age is a factor.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
2:32 pm
disco….Ain’t nuffin ( yeah I said nuffin) wrong with that!!! Just means when dude come to play, he can not be a light weight….. Come to you half stepping and dude might get folded up like yesterdays copy of the AJC……..
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
2:33 pm
By the way…..6′ 1″ and 230… ( with a strong back and a low center of gravity)
DuShawn
January 24th, 2013
2:39 pm
I just read a report which surveyed the spending habits of selective women. It concluded that this consumer segment comprises 78.6% of all D battery purchases.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
2:42 pm
Du – Talk is cheap. Those who “talk about” being selective, or being this or that, are usually just that – all talk and no action. That’s why I tell anyone to keep their business to themselves. And don’t talk about it, be about it.
Even Mr Right Now, needs to be Mr Right Now With No BS/Games.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 24th, 2013
2:42 pm
Leggs – Temptation is a mutha sucka
disco
January 24th, 2013
2:43 pm
courtside – yeah. I’m cool with mine. I don’t know that I want to be folding dudes up though.
dushawn – mr. right now is an interesting concept. can’t say I haven’t been there but at some point you have to upgrade.
Exiled!
January 24th, 2013
2:51 pm
Disco,to be honest,unless I look your stats up on a stats sheet,I don’t know if that’s good,proportionally or bad.
I may like how that looks if I see it.
@Leggs…knowing one’s age is important,even if u like the person with that age. But like Kimmie said,at least you plan how to date her and for how long and to marry for kids or just to marry.
Some of these high school kids carry adult female bodies and its dangerous for men if they don’t know. And some if the chics are so desperate (for money etc) and are aggresively deceptive in
dressing,etc… A felony waiting to happen.
@Du..dudes are quick to label a chic a ‘ho’ the moment she either rejects him or benches him for another dude.
Biastch is one of the most abused word!
disco
January 24th, 2013
2:56 pm
ex – I didn’t put that out there for you to be sizing me up. lol. and as for stat sheets, you have to know those sheets aren’t made for us. we carry weight differently. according to the stat sheets I’m overweight. heck, might be obese according to the charts. according to the boyz in the hood (lol) it’s all gravy. shoot, I’d take on 10 more pounds if I could get myself some hips.
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
3:00 pm
Disco – You can have some of my hips! Speaking of, did you see a pic of that lady with the worlds biggest hips? She is 5′4″ and weighs 420. Her hips measure 8 feet around. She is married and a plus-size model!
kimmie
January 24th, 2013
3:02 pm
mr. right now is an interesting concept. can’t say I haven’t been there but at some point you have to upgrade.
Disco – Amen. Right Now can’t be All The Time or Forever.
disco
January 24th, 2013
3:03 pm
kimmie – child if I had some hips you wouldn’t be able to tell me nothing. I would think I was all that for real. lol. I have not seen nor heard of this woman. my first thought was 420 and she’s married!!! what’s wrong with this picture? lol. then I thought she ought to be a plus plus plus sized model. dang.
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 24th, 2013
3:04 pm
“She is 5′4″ and weighs 420. Her hips measure 8 feet around. ”
DAMN!!!!!! Can you imagine what that looks like from the back????????