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Ladies! Show a little more skin

I was asked to weigh in on some dating advice that a young lady received from a male friend: dress more provocatively. Now, it’s no secret that men are visual creatures who respond to pretty things. Obviously, women want to be attractive to men, but does the way she dresses – or how little she covers up, make any difference to most men?

I ask because men have approached me fresh off a run, looking a hot mess in sweats and a baseball cap with zero skin showing. How would a change in clothing really impact a person’s chances in attracting someone they actually are interested in?

I am not a fan of changing up who you are or pretending to be something that you are not just to get the attention of someone. If a woman is comfortable dressing conservatively, she should continue to do so. While there is nothing wrong with mixing things up, it is not beneficial to completely switch up your style of dress in hopes of turning a head or two. What happens when you revert back to the style you are more comfortable wearing – the real you – clothes?

Guys, who are you more likely to approach: A scantily clad woman showing all her goodies? Mostly covered up and somewhat classy woman? A totally covered up conservative woman? Do you think it is possible for one woman to embody these at different times?

Would you advise a single woman to show more skin in order to score more dates? Is that a little demeaning or am I being too critical? I would be shocked if anyone ever suggested this idea to a man. Why are women always advised to objectify themselves in order to get men?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

102 comments Add your comment

Don Juan

January 23rd, 2013
6:10 am

I think women are beautiful creatures! In their many shapes, sizes, hair-styles, and methods of clothing. My preference would be a woman who presents many different styles encompassing conservative at times, risque at other times, and the hot, damp, sweat suit after a long run… Irresistable!! If a man finds a woman attractive, there is nothing that she can wear, or not wear, that will change that. But, the opposite is also true. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman, then outfits, perfume, etc. will not change his mind. The one thing that can make a difference, that a woman can control, is how she wears her makeup. I’ve seen women go from a 6 to a 9 with the right makeup. But, alot of men prefer no makeup. Goes to show, you can’t be everything for everybody. You just have to be you. If he likes you, you’ll know it regardless of what you’re wearing.

my2cents

January 23rd, 2013
7:17 am

Well said Don. I would like to add that while skin will catch a guys eye, a smile and friendly disposition go a long way with me. A woman with a radiant glow with or with out makeup will hold an eye longer than a just a push up bra and sexy blouse.Maybe I’m at a place in life where substance is as important as skin.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 23rd, 2013
8:06 am

Wiggety Wiiiiiizzzaaaaaaack………..

Oh and Good morning :D

Celisea

January 23rd, 2013
9:06 am

Diva, your assessment on this post is spot on. Be who you are…whatever that is. Funny thing is, we don’t see men knocking themselves out or jumping nekkid just to impress us. I mean if nekkid is what you do, do you but IJS. I see men (not all men) with big bellies, unshaven, janky behavior, etc and they have no qualms about stepping to women…….as is and don’t have a clue sometimes that they’re off the mark, in that regard (appearance). Like I believe be true to who you are.

Me personally, I like being conservative. My daddy always taught me to leave a little to the imagination.

Celisea

January 23rd, 2013
9:10 am

I’ve NEVER been a skinamax type woman. Only with the kid’s dad did he buy booties shorts and stuff for going braless. I did some things to some degree for him, CAUSE HE BOUGHT IT, but I’ve never been an envelope pusher. Never desired to be. I’ve always believed there wasn’t a need for me to expose or overexposed because I always wanted just my SO to enjoy in the privacy of the home.

Celisea

January 23rd, 2013
9:11 am

booty not booties and overexpose not overexposeD

Kat

January 23rd, 2013
9:31 am

And for tomorrow’s blog post: Women are told they are “asking for it” by dressing too provocatively.

kimmie

January 23rd, 2013
10:05 am

Morning All!!

I say not only be you, but dress appropriate for the occasion/venue. Coming to work looking like you’re headed to a nightclub – well it’s just not a good look. If you get promoted, folks will think you slept your way up!LOL!!

Having said that, I do think it’s nothing wrong with stepping it up a notch, spicing it up a bit. Sometimes we can find ourselves in a rut, especially those that are on the conservative side. Be comfortable and tasteful and figure-flattering, but take baby steps if you have to. Add a pop of color, or an inch higher heel than normal. You would be surprised how much nice attention a red turtleneck will get you instead of that gray one! Have fun with fashion once in awhile. It does wonders for YOUR mood and self-confidence.

Bluzgirl

January 23rd, 2013
10:09 am

I dress how I dress for me…not to gain some man’s attention.

kimmie – I agree with you about dressing appropriately for work. Every two weeks, we have jeans Friday. There is one girl here who will wear tight jeans, 5 inch heels and a tight top…looking like she belongs in a club. I think that’s tacky, but as long as the big wigs let her get away with it, she’ll continue.

I’ve always noticed at clubs that the woman who reveal too much are not very attractive at all. Leave something to the imagination…

abc

January 23rd, 2013
10:19 am

I tend to prefer a woman’s dress to be modest and with propriety. I might look at (or even gawk) at a chick with scanty clothes, the little black dress that clings to every curve; but I don’t want that to be MY girl. And, as far as that goes, to me a well tailored suit on a chick is just plain hot .

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
10:23 am

EXACTLY, Kat, EXACTLY!

Enough sad!

Good morning!

Celisea

January 23rd, 2013
10:27 am

I’ll just say this, as I’ve mentioned her on here before. There’s a lady here, Cheryl, who’s I’d guess about 51 now, does a rigorous workout about 4 days a weeks, has hair down to her waist, and I’d guess if you just looked at her, in a glance, you would guess she’s early 40s. Not a bad looking woman at all. The only thing though is she has no qualms with exposure. EVERY skirt was a couple of inches past the cooter (until she was called in asked to lower), wears vests and no shirts, titays ALWAYS hanging out. And yes, it’s her thing but I never understood why??? I mean age should dictate to clean it up a bit and work should add to that. I asked her one day, “I’m gonna ask what no one else will, what’s up with the titays hanging out and what do you do with you go into your manager’s (male) office?” We both laughed and she said to places a book over her chest when she’s in front of him :shock: My guess is, that little voice inside made her do it (cover up)….lol I still see her in the building and it’s been a couple of years since working in that department. She seems to have toned it down just a bit, of course I only see her every blue moon in passing. So maybe I’m just catching her on a “good day.” Like I said, nice body, toned, chic clothing, just a bit of distastefulness in being a bit too exposed. Now that ain’t just me and my opinionated self…lol She was called on the carpet. IJS

Celisea

January 23rd, 2013
10:28 am

Y’all have a good rest of the day :)

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
10:29 am

I have always worked for attorneys, so I’ve always dressed conservatively. Never been one to show too much skin, except when wearing short skirts and even those have always been tasteful and not too short. I have a dress that looks good on me but with my newly found boobs, a bit too much cleavage. Last time I wore it, I pulled on it all night (lol).

Like kimmie said, one of the keys is to dress for the occasion. Walking around scantily clad is never a good look.

kimmie

January 23rd, 2013
10:35 am

Bluzgirl – Especially if all of the big wigs are men, they may be scared to say anything to her. Scared they might be accused of harassment or something.

In my position, well in every position I’ve had since I joined the workforce, I want to be taken seriously. I’m an intelligent woman, not a bimbo, so I dress like what I am. Yes, I like to be stylish and no I don’t dress like a nun, but I’d rather you mistake me for the CEO than the office entertainment!

Button

January 23rd, 2013
10:38 am

Hello, I would say that I’m a conservative dresser, however I do like to get a lil frisky with my attire and spice things up a bit. I have a few animal print mini skists that I like to wear when I hit the town. I must say when I put on one of those skirts my mind does tend to flow to the wild side..lol but it’s all in fun and I’m with my beau so it’s all good. As for women showing more skin, it’s best to be classy and not show the azzy. Leave something for the imagination. You don’t want to get the wrong kind of attention.

disco

January 23rd, 2013
10:40 am

good morning.

don juan – I think a lot of men say that they prefer no makeup. lol.

just yesterday I stopped for a quick errand right after running. I hadn’t cooled down sufficiently and was actually still sweating. wouldn’t you know it some super sexy fella ended up being right behind me at the spot. I was actually a tad bit embarrassed but it is what it is.

Button

January 23rd, 2013
10:47 am

Leggs @new found boobs. Implants?

Button

January 23rd, 2013
10:56 am

I wear make up, a lil dab a do ya some good. I like the fresh look.

Bluzgirl

January 23rd, 2013
10:59 am

I only wear concealer on a day to day basis. When I get dressed up to go out, I’ll only wear a small amount of makeup…the only way anyone would probably notice is because I put on eyeliner!

Robert

January 23rd, 2013
11:00 am

“Would you advise a single woman to show more skin in order to score more dates?”

I can only speak for myself. I prefer a woman who looks classy and always sexy regardless of what she is wearing. For me it is not about how much skin, it’s about how she accentuates what she is wearing. For example I love to see my woman dressed in her sun dresses on a nice sunny day with a slight breeze blowing through the air. All she needs is a litle jewelry (pearls, etc.), a little lip stick (red), a splash of perfume (blows my mind every time)and a pair of high heels that highlight her naturally beautiful leggs.

I love a confident woman who knows how to dress to attract the right kind of Man.

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
11:00 am

Button ~ :lol: :lol: No, weight gain. When those started growing, I knew something was up. I love them, and they’re natural. Never been bigger than a size of a plum so when they started swelling up, I had mixed emotions (lol).

Button

January 23rd, 2013
11:02 am

Bluzgirl, I don’t know about you but I have to do the concealer under my eyes. dark circles are not my friend. I’ve tried everything under the sun to get rid of these things but they won’t go away. I’m trying virgin coconut oil. fingers crossed this will work.

Button

January 23rd, 2013
11:06 am

oh wow Leggs, I guess if you lose them when you lose weight then you can gain them when you gain weight. Nothing wrong with a mouthful though :)

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
11:10 am

Button ~ I was told that my entire life, nothing wrong with a mouthful. :wnk:

Bluzgirl

January 23rd, 2013
11:20 am

I keep being told that I need to wear more cleavage shirts. I guess I should keep my eye out for them! Just a little bit of cleavage is ok with me…

MsAtl

January 23rd, 2013
11:53 am

Morning All!

My dress depends on what I am doing at the time. On a day to day basis, I wear a suit. When we have business casual, I have worn a dress and blazer or a skirt and top. On weekends, I usually wear jeans or in summer, breezy skirts & dresses or tank top and shirts. I tend to go more toward being mostly covered, although I admit to the ocassional wardrobe malfunction. I believe sexy is a way you dress and carry yourself more than how little clothing you have on.

DuShawn

January 23rd, 2013
12:01 pm

I’m just happy the thong hanging out of the jeans fad has passed. I was diggin that look at first, then I overdosed on (butt) crack and it just began to look slutty.

disco

January 23rd, 2013
12:02 pm

guess it’s a slow day up in this camp. since we are still on topic (for what it’s worth) I recently joked with a male friend of mine who has put on a bit of weight. dude is up to near 300 pounds and he thinks because he’s tall (6’4”) that it’s acceptable. he wasn’t trying to hear it when I told him belly wasn’t sexy. he is now definitely on “team shirt”. his team skin days are long over.

MsAtl

January 23rd, 2013
12:19 pm

Disco- speaking of that, is that Suge Knight that insists on going topless or having his shirt opened up looking like a balloon?

Bluzgirl

January 23rd, 2013
12:47 pm

What’s going on in here lately? I noticed that there wasn’t a lot posted yesterday and it’s a ghost town today also!

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
12:52 pm

My dress depends on what I am doing at the time

ofcourse madaam,come to bed ready..in commando gear! :lol:

nuuthin..

MsAtl

January 23rd, 2013
1:04 pm

Lol. Why Exiled, that would deprive you of the ability to put a little effort into it.

Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)

January 23rd, 2013
1:07 pm

Why are women always advised to objectify themselves in order to get men?

My point exactly…just as Kat said then the topic tomorrow will be about women who “show more skin”(to get a guy)…then get attacked(by these SAME guys they’re trying to attract) because they “asked for it”. More double standards…

WHACK!!!

And as a matter of fact, I’ve heard several men(some on this blog) say it’s usually not the one that showed all the skin that gets taken home to meet mama, or proposed to.

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
1:18 pm

@MsAtl …..we know what we bout to do…i hate the smoke and mirrors signifying nuthing….lets just dive right in…

and then there are those that come to bed with nothing BUT still wearing some white sneaker socks etc on their feet…

I hate that Big time! :mrgreen: :lol:

MsAtl

January 23rd, 2013
1:24 pm

Wow Exiled! Dive right in. I ain’t even going there.
Sneaker socks??? Are you referring to the skin softening socks? That’s so their heels stay soft and don’t lacerate your back…

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
1:25 pm

the thong look hanging outside always looked slutty to me, DuShawn. But then again, I’m a woman.

MsAtl ~ sometimes my ensemble depends on what’s on my boss’ calendar.

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
1:29 pm

so their heels stay soft and don’t lacerate your back

@MsAtl…

I see..
thats some Real Impressive Circular,back griping motion u making there with ur leg :lol:

Willie Dynamite

January 23rd, 2013
1:29 pm

Afternoon all,
Topic- just be yourself and don’t change just because someone else suggested it. Be confident and comfortable with yourself, it shows. Plus the attention you get may not be what you are looking for. Me personally, I don’t care what you wear. I may look and give a knee jerk reaction but I go for substance. I need to be mentally engaged whether you have double D’s or bee stings.

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
1:30 pm

MsAtl – sounds more like Rick Ross. No shame in his game!!! UGGH! Looking like a water buffalo.

MsAtl

January 23rd, 2013
1:36 pm

Leggs- That’s it, Rick Ross (Sorry Suge)! Lol. That is who I thought of when Disco posted about her friend.

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
1:36 pm

bee stings???

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
1:38 pm

bee stings = A cup, Ex!

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
1:40 pm

diggin that look at first, then I overdosed on (butt) crack and it just began to look slutty.

..was that a deliberate ploy of deploying that fad and making it visible….
or it(thong) just happened to be visible by accident when a female bended over and the jeans sliped a tad….

if a deliberate ploy,then i wld say(those) females are real sneaky.

Exiled

January 23rd, 2013
1:43 pm

Leggs..so bee stings are smaller(cup) i guess….

DDs are real nice to play with tho……

DuShawn

January 23rd, 2013
1:48 pm

Fellas, you ever been to a strip club and thought the bartender was the sexiest chic in there…..and she was the only one with her clothes on.
On another note, I have been multi tasking like a mugg today. Woke up, had to iron three school uniforms, fix breakfast, Get dresssed, take the kids to school, get to the office, call the aftercare and arrange 3:00pm bus pick-up, call the school to get a message to the kids to get on the aftercare bus.
Call the auto insurance adjuster to come look at my car in the office parking lot because somebody hit me in the back the other day. He is downstairs now writing a report on the damages. i’m typing this and eating lunch at my desk and preparing for a 2:00 conference call. ….whew!

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
1:49 pm

And we women would have done all that w/o a “whew” at the end (lololol)

I kid, DuShawn! Kinda sorta…

Tancred

January 23rd, 2013
1:50 pm

Nobody forces women to objectify themselves, but the vast majority in Western culture do on their own accord. I understand that both men and women are affected by our hyper-sexualized culture, but I really thought we as a people, especially we Westerners, could move beyond trying to legitimize our existence through the pursuit of recreational sex. Culturally speaking, it’s only been relatively recently that we have come up with the idea of a “sex life,” some kind of seemingly required amount of recreational sex that “experts” say is important for bonding or expressing “love” and other BS like that. I prefer to be celibate and keep all my relationships intellectual ones. I haven’t had any major “problem” with this for 7 years now, meaning my relative lack of a “sex life” has not made my living any less satisfying. To be honest, why are women and men in our culture so obsessed with being in some kind of sexual relationship, or if they’re not, they feel inferior? I live alone and see no need to prove my worth through how I might satisfy a woman sexually. That whole Viagra thing is based on a culturally produced male inferiority complex about “performance” and making sure women reach “climax.” Kinsey established that most men are out of the gate and done well before women climax; that’s just how evolution worked out. That’s why Viagra is really a drug for women, not men.

Leggs

January 23rd, 2013
1:55 pm

Tancred ~ not all women. Viagra scares me.

Exiled!

January 23rd, 2013
2:04 pm

@Du…where is the wife?