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Dating: Are you open to new things?

I used to think that in order to have a successful dating experience, you should connect with people that share the same likes and interests. Although I believe this to still be true, I have also discovered that when you meet someone with different interests, good things can happen. Of course, you have to be open-minded in order for good things to happen! Meeting open-minded people can become increasingly difficult as you get older though *cough*..older folks get set in their ways.

I admit that I have been guilty of it too, at times. What can I say? I get into that “I like what I like” mode and it takes a lot to convince me to try new things. It’s not until I spend time with someone I like who pulls me into experiencing things I would normally scoff and consider “not my thing.” I think we end up missing out on a lot of experiences with that mindset. Why are we so adamant about staying in our comfort zones?

Are you one to be open-minded and try new things? Have you ever dated someone who was closed off to new experiences? What did you do or say to convince them to open up and experiment?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

100 comments Add your comment

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
6:29 am

Goooood wintry morning, I’m only up this early today because I’m watching the weather forecast. It might not have snowed, as I was sooo wanting, but I’m working from bedside. :mrgreen: I’ve sent the “working from home” email to my team and I’m gonna lay back down awhile.

BBL on topic

Single and Happy

January 18th, 2013
7:30 am

Hey all,

So at what age do “older” folks get set in their ways?? I’ve never liked dating anyone with the same interest as me, that’s an easy way to get in a rut. If you want to scare me off just start telling me things you want do, this lets me know early own that you’re not open minded. The problem I have with this is when people are like that, they TRY to limit you from doing things because they don’t want to do it.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 18th, 2013
8:14 am

Opposites attract and there’s a reason.

To be pushed beyond’s one’s limit is to experience growth. There are thing I steadfastly refuse to do (ever watch “The Color Purple” or “Titanic”) that won’t I won’t ever get past.

But other things (like owning ‘indoor’ dogs) you do for your SO. It’s frustrating, but there’s also something about experiencing something new with someone you care about. Similarly, it’s fun to see that “I didn’t know” light hits someone’s eyes when they experience something for the first time with you. It’s like seeing that experience through fresh eyes.

All in all, if you’re soooo stuck in your routine that you won’t move beyond your comfort zone while still single; at a certain point, it’s less about the experience/event and more about you.

morning

kimmie

January 18th, 2013
8:30 am

Morning Peeps (Blogging from home today too)

Dan – I went thru kind of what you did with the indoor dogs, by living with hubs 2 cats. I have never wanted to deal with any indoor animals besides fish, and no cats. But they are cute and sweet and how would you tell a man to get rid of the pets he got his kids after their mother passed?

I cannot stand the term “set in your ways”!! It’s like you have just given up on life!!! Yes, there are things I would rather not do, like skydive, but I do like to experience something different, even if it’s just a different food. And yes, I cannot stand to deal with folks that won’t step out of their comfort zone even a little.

Having said that, a man has to have something about him that inspires me to want to go where Kimmie has not gone before. Something that sets him apart from the average Joe. My man does not force things on me or have me feeling if I won’t try/do this or that he’s going to be turned off or leave me. He puts it out there, shows me how much he enjoys it, and lets the final decision be mine. He more often than not gets my buy-in.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 18th, 2013
8:43 am

@Kimmie

I bought the dogs after the rascal at the pound put them in the kids hands….I’ll forever hate him for that. But there’s an element of teaching responsibility that I like. And some of those lessons have been learned the hard way.

As fot “inspiring” a reaction. That’s mutual.

Decisions are best made when both parties ‘buy-in’ as opposed to one of the people going along to get along. I think it is often a matter of presenting the options as choice.

MsAtl

January 18th, 2013
8:45 am

Morning All!

As I wrote the other day, I am definitely open to trying new things and have stepped out of my comfort zone numerous times. It’s like I used to tell my children: how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it? Now granted, if it is something risky, I will have to put much more thought into it. I have been toying with the idea of sky-diving and was ready to pull the trigger until the video of the woman coming out of her harness. Since I have never ever been on a motorcycle, I plan to try that this year, along with other new things.
It would bother me if someone I was dating refused to step out of his comfort zone. that would raise a red flag on whether he is going to be that rigid in everything and not open to compromise, which I deem important in a relationship.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
8:46 am

GM – Yes i’m open-minded enough to want to try new things…and for me, one of the biggest buzzkills are closed-minded people.

Mark Kerry

January 18th, 2013
8:52 am

SlimNu @ 8:46 am: Lord knows the world is full of them (closed-minded people)…

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
8:53 am

I’m open minded to a certain extent. IMO, it should be a given that we are two separate individuals. So no, we won’t be the wondertwins…lol I will say though, things that will endanger my life or eating raw food (to name some examples), ain’t happening. If that’s mean I’m close-minded, then yeah, it’s a no go for us. However, I will says both “closed-minded” and “open-minded” is relative.

Single and Happy

January 18th, 2013
8:55 am

MsATL go ahead and try it, if you’re not afraid of heights why not go for it. On the pets, can’t do, was forced to have one as a child, never ever again!

kimmie

January 18th, 2013
8:55 am

I think it is often a matter of presenting the options as choice.

Dan – Absolutely, and that is how hubs and I interact. I won’t say there are not ever times when one doesn’t “go along to get along” but there is not the pressure to have to do that all the time, which is one of the points I was trying to get to.

Resentment can build also when the buy-in is not mutual. When one party is ALWAYS trying or doing what the other wants, never a give and take of ideas and experiences.

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
8:56 am

I’m gonna make raisin toast, eggs and bacon….to go with my Skinny Vanilla Latte :) Think I’ll hit the gym later.

Why am I watching Eve and JT admits he can’t see himself spending his life with her….doh (of course I’ve see this episode before). See, that’s why you better be asking folks, cause they’ll spend time with you until the meter runs out. No intentions of going permanent. Just spending time…lol

Anyhoo, I’m out for a while, I got work this morning.

MsAtl

January 18th, 2013
8:57 am

Celisea- Okay, you brought up one thing I won’t try- raw food. No raw sushi, meat, etc. I reserve raw for vegetables. That’s not being closed minded.

kimmie

January 18th, 2013
8:59 am

Celisea – JT used to tick me off, I remember that episode. And of course, he came crawling back with his tail between his legs!

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
9:00 am

MsAtl – I consider eating raw food putting my life in jeopardy. Seriously. That’s why you have fire and heat. To kill anything that can potentially kill you.

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
9:02 am

Kimmie – Mmmm hmmm, exactly. I wouldn’t have given him my downwind to sniff at that point. Glad she hooked up with the little short dude later. At least he appreciated her…lol

shlomo

January 18th, 2013
9:14 am

@Cel- how are those tan spandex slacks fittin?

Exiled!

January 18th, 2013
9:18 am

No!, I am Not open minded and there is no distress. I am comfortable in my closed minded and it does not infringe on other people. So I don’t ‘lose’ anything.

Something new? Maybe but there has to be an ‘initial’ interest. And on my terms!

Last nite,Queen and I were watching ESP and football and the discussion turned to tailgating. She says,’let’s try it’

My response was you don’t do something just coz somebody does it. You do something coz u like it. I have done tailgating back home. But football(soccer) tail gating,not American football.
I like American football so much to watch the playoffs especially but not to go to tailgate. I explained to Queen that the folks you see in Wisconsin etc,tailgating and barbecuing etc are craaszy about football. It’s cold but they don’t feel it. They are talking about the players,schemes,defenses etc and having fun that they can’t wait for the game to start. They can even start fights! That’s how we do with soccer. :lol:

How are you gonna want to tail gate when you cant even name one player,let alone All the starters on a team.

So…this to mean,I ain’t gon eat frog meat.

Yeah,it’s a new thing!

I am adult,Iike what I like!

It’s bad that it didn’t snow!

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
9:19 am

shlomo – Sorry boo boo, this is 2013. This is NOT the year for feeding cattiness and hurled insults. Sorry and as Sassy says… Get better boo boo Want me to get the champ to answer you? He’s right here :mrgreen:

Exiled!

January 18th, 2013
9:21 am

meant to say,’ I love football so much to only watch the playoffs on tv,but not to tailgate’

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
9:25 am

Good morning! Thank God the sun is finally out and will be out for many days in a row! That weather was really getting me down…

Anywho…I would say I am much more open minded than I used to be. Really, the only thing I was close minded to is food. I dated a guy who would make me try different things and I found out a lot of things I liked. I’m still a little picky, more willing to try new foods…

Mmmmmm….sushi…that may be my lunch today.

kimmie

January 18th, 2013
9:36 am

Exiled – Do you, but sounds to me like you are overthinking. I know plenty who like to tailgate, but not necessarily are into the game. Tailgating is really just another form of partying, like having a backyard bbq. I know plenty that have perfected the art of tailgaiting. They set up outside the stadium on game day and grill and invite others over to share. A lot of times they don’t even have tickets to the game or they have tv’s set up on their SUV. It’s a fun thing, so what’s wrong with Queen wanting to join in the fun with others?

But like I said, do you. If every idea I brought to someone was shot down like you did, even something simple and fun, well that’s definitely a buzzkill and something I could not live with. Lighten up, dude! :lol:

Exiled!

January 18th, 2013
9:43 am

@Kimmie…

Ian very light..like I hinted,’initial interest’

Those u site who do it but don’t like football do it for the party part of it. I don’t do parties like that and that wldnt be my style of partying up..

I wld be missing out on other interesting things just because…

Yes I will do me.

Celisea......aaaah pooh, no snow

January 18th, 2013
9:46 am

Well, got my two hurdles covered for work. I’m like dang, first thing this morning?!?!

Breakfast has been consumed…..yuuuuum

Seems like the topic just drizzled. Guess we’ll watch Contraband for the umpteenth time…lol

Exiled!

January 18th, 2013
9:55 am

and I can offer you some dog food(which the Chinese luv luv) and cows feet and cite to uall new things fundis why it is to ur benefit and ur health to eat such and such…

The point?

Adults like what they like!

Leggs

January 18th, 2013
10:06 am

Definitely open to new things. It’s imperative to be open to new ideas while dating. The hope is that both parties, with their own unique tastes will complement and broaden each other’s horizons. One thing I’ve been changing and experiencing is my somewhat phobia of trying new foods. I’ve come along way, thanks to the coaxing of a very nice man!

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
10:20 am

Wow…that was a quick fizzle to the topic. I guess cause we kind of touched on this the other day.

So…anyone got any big plans this weekend?

Single and Happy

January 18th, 2013
10:22 am

All in all, if you’re soooo stuck in your routine that you won’t move beyond your comfort zone while still single; at a certain point, it’s less about the experience/event and more about you.

This goes for married people also!!

Celisea

January 18th, 2013
10:29 am

I just loooooove Mark Walberg. I don’t think he get the credit he deserves.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
10:34 am

Ok, I had a weird dream last night…I dreamt that I was pregnant and at the hospital with the beau. I assume we were scheduled to be there or something that day. Anyway, we’re walking down the hallway and all of a sudden I feel this bout of pressure and the baby’s head just starts coming out of the hooha. I panick and try to keep the baby from coming all the way out. The beau is in shock and I yell for him to find a doctor while I find somewhere to lay down. Before he get’s back the baby ends up coming out and I catch it in my arms….At first it looks like normal baby but as time passes it starts to look more and more like something deformed. Next thing I notice is it starts turning blue in the face as if it isn’t breathing…I didn’t have one of those suctions to clear out his airway…It get’s fuzzy after that but i want to say that the baby ended up dying. WEIRD huh?

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
10:43 am

Wow Slim! That’s a crazy dream. What did you watch right before going to bed last night?

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
10:59 am

American Idol lol

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:00 am

LOL! Hmmmmmm….

I had a dream the other night that I looked out my window and there were two huge bears in my back yard. One was on his back in the grass and was rolling around like a dog. I went outside and saw two more bears running down the street, wearing jogging pants! LOL! I woke up laughing because it was totally normal in my dream!

abc

January 18th, 2013
11:03 am

The notion that as one ages one becomes less flexible, or less open minded, or less likely to try and learn new things, it completely bogus. Who made that up? Might that be the same group that purports that younger people are somehow more adept technologically? Because, tell ya, the opposite is true. By and large, the younger they are, the more technically clueless they are. Case in point: the term “computer literate” has completely disappeared from the American lexicon. That’s because almost nobody is anymore. If they can surf and email, they’re good; if they can download music and video, they’re wizards. On the other hand, I hate to hear people say something like “I just can’t figure out how to text!” What what? Any maroon can text.

That said, I’m pretty busy. I can’t think of that much that I haven’t tried — no doubt because, since it’s fairly unknown to me, I don’t even know it’s there. Might new stuff be interesting? Maybe. I figure the more I know, the more I know, which would be a good thing.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
11:06 am

Bluz – Well you are an animal lover so I can see that being the norm for you lol

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:09 am

LOL! Come to think of it, I had a dream about bears a few weeks ago too…that I was at my friend’s house and they had bears in the yard and it was cool. I need to look up what bears signify in dreams…

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:12 am

Bear
To see a bear in your dream represents independence, strength, death and renewal, and/or resurrection. Bears of symbolic of the cycle of life. You may also be undergoing a period of introspection and thinking. In particular, if you see a bear in your grandmother’s house, then it implies that your grandmother is a dominating figure in your life.

The dream may also be a pun on “bare”. Perhaps you need to bare your soul and let everything out into the open. Or there is a situation where you just need to “grin and bear it”.

To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear denotes anger and your uncontrolled aggression. You are feeling trapped. Perhaps you are in an threatening situation, some overwhelming obstacle or domineering and possessive relationship.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
11:12 am

abc – That notion I suppose, only pertains to some. I think some folks feel a little intimidated by some new things or things they may deem more advanced…i.e texting, downloading music, internet etc But if they just tried, they’d probably see that those things really aren’t that difficult at all. But I feel ya though. I never want to stop learning or feel i’m beyond trying something new. I’m like Johnny 5 on Short Circuit…Input, more input! ;-)

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:14 am

Having A Baby
To dream that you or someone is having a baby suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents new beginnings or some upcoming event. A more direct interpretation of this dream, may represent your desires/ anxieties of giving birth or the anticipation for such an event to occur.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
11:22 am

Hmmm, new idea or project…Well could be my new project of TAKING CARE OF ME ;-) (yeah i know it doesn’t make sense that I have deemed this a project but ya just gotta feel me on this) lol

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:31 am

Slim – I can totally see that!!! I feel the same way…I’m a project to myself this year.

I definitely feel like the bear interpretation fits me to a “T” right now. I feel like I am in a new cycle of life…

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
11:32 am

Bluz – I’ve been calling 2013 the year of transition because it rings so true for many ppl I’ve talked to so far. (not just coming from me)

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:39 am

I’ve talked to many people who also are in a year of transition. The past two years have had so many hard challenges for me and I’m ready to kick 2013’s a$$! I know it’s going to be a wonderful year because I plan to make it so!

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
11:42 am

Where is everyone today?!?! It’s not like anyone is snowed in…

Bluzgirl

January 18th, 2013
12:04 pm

Guess I’m outta here too since no one wants to talk…

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 18th, 2013
12:11 pm

I dunno where everyone went

Willie Dynamite

January 18th, 2013
12:24 pm

Afternoon all,
Open/closed minded is relative. You kinda frame your personality as a kid and what you are exposed to (IMO). Some folks are constrained by that yet others seem to expand because of that reason (not all). Personally I grew up in small town, USA. My experiences once moving to Atl convinced me that I had a lot to experience and do. We all set parameters it’s just a matter of how high/low the bar is set. I am open within reason.

Leggs

January 18th, 2013
1:03 pm

Dang, haven’t even left page one!

Celisea

January 18th, 2013
1:13 pm

Whoa, it’s a ghost town in here :(

Leggs

January 18th, 2013
1:15 pm

I didn’t have one of those suctions to clear out his airway…

But you did, it’s called your own mouth when you don’t have anything else. Nasty yes, but if it’s necessary, then it is what it is.

Weird dream.