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Dating: What happened to creativity?

One of the common complaints I hear about dating in Atlanta is the complete lack of creativity. From the way single people approach each other – to the first date and beyond – zero creativeness. Dinner and a movie- texting to ask someone out- do you think we get in a boring rut when it comes to dating?

A lot of guys tell me they don’t put a whole lot of extra effort in making an impression unless the woman has that special “something” about them. So if a woman wants creative dates, she has to show and prove a lot before a guy decides her worthy of that effort? Is that fair?

When was the last time you had a really creative date planned? What is the best creative date you have?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

351 comments Add your comment

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
11:18 am

Now, I’m looking all through Groupon for fun things to do, even if I have to do them solo!

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 16th, 2013
11:19 am

Awwwwwww…… Guess I will have to find someone else.. :( And this is might even involved some foot rubbing and toe sucking…. DAMN!!! :) :)

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
11:20 am

Court…I’m game! LOL

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 16th, 2013
11:22 am

Bluzgirl, Oh really???????? Hmmmmmmmmmm…………..

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
11:23 am

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
11:23 am

Actually…I would love to do something like that, but I have plans on Fri night, Sunday night, and Monday morning…

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 16th, 2013
11:26 am

Oh, and go to a cooking class and *not* be able to boil water (even with instructions)….

You wouldn’t see the D again (in fact, it has happened)

Button

January 16th, 2013
11:27 am

I agree @Bluzgirl @10:55

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
11:27 am

Okay, I’m out. Y’all have a good afternoon.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
11:29 am

MsAtl – We are talking about dating because this is what the blog is about, but alot of folks have gotten into somewhat of a rut in their everyday life. Then that just naturally spills over into dating with some. If you don’t infuse something creative or different into your life from time to time, why would one expect your outlook on dating to be much different?

Kudos to you for making the effort! I am going to do better myself!

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
11:30 am

Disco, most of the time we do agree, seems we are one. Most of the time I’m trying to open eyes to a different point of view just like my eyes are open alot :-)

MsAtl where did you go scuba diving? Did you enjoy it?

Kimmie life is to short to become a bitter bobby (LOL)

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
11:31 am

Awwww ITL – See ya!!!

disco

January 16th, 2013
11:32 am

Dan – an ex with a spoiled grown daughter who still lives at home (I digress – that’s not my point. lol). anyway, said friend was telling me that his daughter who was 20 something at the time had to make 3 attempts to boil eggs. first time she forgot about them and they exploded, second time she didn’t cook them long enough and they weren’t done. she finally got it right on the third try. I’m like really? and you are telling me this? me? the one who already thinks your daughter is worthless? lol.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
11:33 am

Dan – LOL!! That is funny!!

I CAN boil water, so a cooking class for me would be one that exposed me to something different that what I ordinarily cook, like an ethnic cuisine. That would be the “fun” of it. If I couldn’t cook, such a class would be too “advanced” for me!LOL!!

MsAtl

January 16th, 2013
11:37 am

Single- I went to the Dive Shop in Marietta. I enjoyed it, but it took some getting used to since you are mouth breathing. It was different and fun. I would try it again, but this kind of gave me an idea that maybe I wouldn’t want to do it out in the middle of the ocean.

http://www.diveshop1.com/

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
11:43 am

MsAtl, I did mine in the ocean what a rush :-) , If you enjoyed it in a pool then went in the ocean you would be hooked. If I had went in a pool I probably would not have gotten certified.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
11:46 am

Court ~ ask her. It’s local, you don’t have to rent a hotel (unless you wanna).

I think a cooking class for a date is a great idea. I remember when I was learning how to cook, I burned rice all the time. Either burnt, gooey, sticky, clumpy, or still taste like uncooked rice. Now, my food will melt in your mouth.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
11:51 am

Leggs – Rice (not the Minute kind or Roni) is still somewhat of a problem for me, though I can throw down on most anything else!!! :(

disco

January 16th, 2013
11:53 am

leggs – one of my cousins was fussing recently about her daughter boiling the potatoes to make potato salad. she said the girl had the potatoes on a low simmer. lol. she said they would have been waiting until the next week for those potatoes to get done. I was tickled to death.

I’m all for trying things. to me cooking is a chore. a means to an end. I don’t know that I’d be overly thrilled about a cooking class. some of my friends that are into cooking are always encouraging me to watch this or that cooking show. I always tell them that I watch the eating shows (triple D, man vs. food etc), not the cooking shows. lol.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
11:54 am

Rice definitely wasn’t easy to master, kimmie. It will come. Just have to know the amount of rice to the amount of water used. Since we don’t measure a damn thing, it’s a hit or miss (lol).

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
11:59 am

Am I the only one that does not give a ish about this Lance Armstrong mess?

HST

January 16th, 2013
12:00 pm

Today’s social media and technology has taken away a lot of traditional ways. Is witty text not the way to play in the 21st century? I’m still fond of speaking to someone on the phone, but really it isn’t a standard anymore and may even be antiquated. I feel it’s more of let’s talk face to face, and play social media together.

I do no social media, posting here is about as far as I go. Seriously, no FB, Instagram, Twitter, myspace, or whatever on my part. If we’re in contact then you’ll have my number, e-mail, or address. I do hop on car forums, so that I know where to meet for drives, track events, or rallies, but I never post. Personally, I like to get out, do things, and enjoy my time outdoors. My GF does all social media, and IMO, it takes time from what she could be doing. Instead, she’s commenting on what basically a stranger is doing. Ergo, this is why I feel the decline in creative dating is happening. Everything is virtual, so desensitized, and bogged down from social media and 21st century communication.

I combat routine by doing these things with my GF. After 13 years there isn’t a lot we haven’t done together. I have to surprise her like I said earlier. She likes that that I put the effort in more than anything. As a man whom cares, I realized that women want to be fussed over and feel wanted. It’s that simple, other than being able to support yourself.

We (GF & I) do 4 activities a week. We do most of them twice, and there isn’t much we don’t do together. I am always trying to figure ways to surprise her. I like surprises, and I like seeing my GF surprised even more. Our staples are…
1. One nice dining experience. I look out here and everywhere to find new places to go. We have our normal dining places that we enjoy, and those fill the other days.
2. One activity. The Gardens, Museum, Play, Movie (very rare), bar-night, and etc. Never twice in a month for any one for the most part.
3. One driving event. OK, I push for more, however, what girl doesn’t want to get dressed up, and ride around in a hot car.
4. Shopping. I am always shopping, and love to hit the malls. We have the best time being catty, and seeing what we don’t have and want.

The trick is spontaneity, manners, and making each event different no matter how many times we’ve done it. HA! That’s a good double entendre.

Robert

January 16th, 2013
12:02 pm

“When was the last time you had a really creative date planned?”

Most women will not try something diferent or be creative when on a date. For example I love going to the beach. I know a place you can pitch a tent and camp out on the beach and watch the pony’s swim in VA. I took my woman on a surprise date to see if she liked it or not. To my surprise I found out she was not the “outdoor type” person and really prefered the comfort of a 4/5 star hotel rather than sleeping on the ground in a tent.

HST

January 16th, 2013
12:06 pm

Robert, there’s two thing my GF and I don’t enjoy together. The outdoors and the gym, she does neither. I’m a huge gym rat, and love hiking, but my GF would rather starve herself and get a facial. The only way she gets out is to take the hounds to the park for a walk.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:06 pm

disco ~ I love Top Chef. Wish I could cook like them, and as fast as they do.

O/T: I had a huge problem I had to solve. Sweated over it for the past 4 days, even cried over it. I resolved it about 10 mins. ago, and if I knew how to do a freaking cartwheel, I would. I’m overjoyed so that calls for me to have my favorite comfort food on Earth = Pizza! I am my own strength, along with my Faith all things are possible! You gotta believe.

Ok, back to creative dates, lumpy rice and slow cooking potatoes.

disco

January 16th, 2013
12:07 pm

kimmie – I am not checking for lance Armstrong

hst – re what girl doesn’t want to get dressed up and ride around in a hot car. generally I’d say that doesn’t sound so appealing then I saw the movie la mission with Benjamin bratt where they go low riding every weekend. I do not deny that watching that movie made me want to get dressed and roll out.

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
12:09 pm

I wouldn’t mind going to a cooking class, just because I don’t cook well. My brother is going to teach me about some healthier cooking. Mags taught me how to make a good dish the other night. I just never have had anyone around to teach me. I can follow a recipe and whatever I make turns out great. I think it’s more of me not liking to cook…

HST

January 16th, 2013
12:10 pm

Good for you Leggs.

I can’t eat pizza anymore without heartburn. It is one of my favorite foods, and I’m sad about that. Maybe, if I ate less pizza it wouldn’t happen, but that’s an impossibility.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:13 pm

kimmie ~ I could care less too. I do watch the Tour de France but come on now. He’s been stripped of 7 jackets, he’s been doping, sports world tainted…what’s new?

Page1908

January 16th, 2013
12:20 pm

Dating can be boring, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m so all over the place in my everyday life, and my dating life reflects that in a good way, I think. The issue really is to find someone that has similar interests or at least willing to do things out of the norm. I absolutely love dating and have no major complaints about it, however, things can become challenging sometimes.

HST

January 16th, 2013
12:20 pm

I saw it mentioned earlier, and my GF loves Groupon. It’s an easy way to try something new, and if it s***s at least we didn’t pay full price.

Bluz, I dislike cooking and so does my girl. I put some meat on the grill and cut veggies, and that’s the extent of my cooking. Maybe it’s not so much the cooking as the cleaning, but I never go further than above cooking. By the time you buy everything, waste stuff, use the dishwasher, and clean it’s almost just as cheap to eat out.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:21 pm

HST ~ because I’ve put on a few pounds (just a few), I had to make a gigantic effort toward not eating pizza the way I used to. I love, love, love pizza. Even have a sticker on my fridge that says “Life w/o Pizza is a Hardship.” So, I eat it every couple of months now instead of every other day like I used to.

BTW, HST, I’m not fond of witty text as a form of dating…please pick up the phone and let’s speak. Yes sir, I still believe in the purpose of Graham Bell’s discovery. Texting is ok to a point, but not a means to having an actual convo. I know a guy who loves to text. Took me a minute to figure it out so when I would call he always said he was doing something but would text me a little later. Got to the point where he kept texting and I stopped responding. We get carpal tunnel syndrome from using our keyboards too much. Soon people are going to be walking around with thumb casts.

DreamsMaterialize

January 16th, 2013
12:22 pm

Afternoon Everyone.

Creativity is relative, and every woman is different. Many women claim to want the man to take charge, plan things, and “surprise” them. I’ve had this work out great, and I’ve had it crash and burn. If a woman really is open to new things, then the “surprise me” approach is likely to work well, but if they aren’t, then chances are you’ll choose something that they won’t enjoy. I prefer to just talk to the woman and find out what types of things she likes. Nothing worse than putting in lots of effort to plan something out, just to see the scrunch look on her face when you get there. Also, I’m with kimmie and Celly Cel on dinner dates. I enjoy different cuisines, and a person who also likes that would be thrilled at dinner for a date.

kimmie If you’re into measuring things, then rice is two parts water, one part rice. Put rice in water, bring to a boil, lower temp to med, cover tightly and let cook for 15 to 20 min. Turn off heat and let sit covered for another 5 minutes. Avoid the temptation to take the lid off and “see” if it’s cooking right. You let the steam escape when you do that. Also, do not stir. If you’re not into measuring things, then put the rice in the pot and fill with water. You’ll know it’s enough water when you can stick your pinky in, touch the rice and the water comes to the first line on your pinky. Then let cook the same way. If you’re cooking rice and peas or jambalaya, then there’s a little more of an art to that.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
12:23 pm

To my surprise I found out she was not the “outdoor type” person and really prefered the comfort of a 4/5 star hotel rather than sleeping on the ground in a tent

Robert – How long had you been dating? Because unless it had not been long, it should not have been a surprise.

In my experience, I think alot of folks would just like to see that you are a good sport and will at least try something once.

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:25 pm

“use the dishwasher,” – ummm, that’s reserved for big meals like Thanksgiving, Christmas (lol).

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:27 pm

Hello Page1908. Two old heads in one week.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
12:29 pm

Dreams – Thanks!! Being a baker, you have to be precise, so I am into measuring! The only things I don’t have to measure are things like seasoning meat and vegetables and stuff I know like the back of my hand. Baking or things I’m not sure about, I measure. I will do exactly what you said!!

disco

January 16th, 2013
12:29 pm

dreams – while I like a take charge man I am so NOT the surprise me type. I’m all for him taking charge but I would kind of still like him to run the idea by me first. lol. I have friends who go on and on about loving surprises. guess I’m too much of a control freak for that.

kimmie – you are right. some times folks are looking to see if you are a good sport and some times they are just inconsiderate and selfish and want to push their likes on you. like the date I was on where the guy insisted I had to try his favorite Chinese restaurant after I told him I wasn’t a fan of Chinese food. lol.

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
12:30 pm

Page1908

January 16th, 2013
12:30 pm

Hi Leggs!! (((hugs)))

Page1908

January 16th, 2013
12:31 pm

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
12:32 pm

Now I’m craving Pizza! LOL! You go on Leggs…have a slice for me!!!

Re: texting…I’m a big texter just because I’m on the phone all day at work and don’t necessarily want to be on the phone all night. Now, if I am digging you, I would like to talk to you every couple of days. One thing I really didn’t like about The Young One was when I went to Charleston for the weekend before my birthday, he called me every day and I didn’t call him back. I was like…”dude, I’m on vacation and don’t want to be bothered with Atlanta!”

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
12:36 pm

Bluz ~ that’s horrible! Just another indicator you weren’t into him because if you were, you could be anywhere and want to hear from your man who’s still in Atlanta!

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
12:39 pm

Kimmie a rice cooker works wonders :-)

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
12:39 pm

Leggs – Like one of my friends said…If I was really into him, I would have tried my best to get him to go with me to Charleston. I really tried with him. Too bad he ended up being clingy, needy, whiney, and boring! LOL

HST

January 16th, 2013
12:55 pm

Leggs, I’d prefer talk as well, but it seems text is the new talk. I am a traditional southern man (other than religion), and prefer human interaction rather than texting. I have grown to love English and its rules – I never use to many acronyms or “text talk.” I feel it’s rude to not use good grammar when addressing someone.

disco, my GF is a control freak. I think she like that I can’t be controlled and that I’m usually out of control. however, I know d**n good and well where the line is and what she’ll put up with. I can only surprise her with things she likes or it’s gonna s**k.

All the pizza talk made me have to have some burgers (no bun or cheese). I splurged and used low-carb ketchup, because it was red like tomato paste. I haven’t had 100 carbs in 4 days – I’m dying for carbs. I have to diet, diet, diet to have all my abdominal muscles show.

Robert

January 16th, 2013
12:57 pm

Another good example is food. I love seafood (oysters, clams, crabs, squid, shrimp, fish, etc.). I took my woman to an all-you-can-eat crab feast in MD last summer. She has never been to a crab feast and was surprised that people really cleaned the guts out and ate crabs with their fingers. She thought it was disgusting. She also did not like eating raw seafood (oysters). I love raw oysters. I can eat them by the dozen.

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
1:00 pm

Too bad he ended up being clingy, needy, whiney, and boring!

Bluz, I can see the last two being over the top, but I would have thought you would have liked the “being needed” part. I mean that as a compliment. You are always volunteering to help others, I would have thought you were a nurterer type.

Exiled!

January 16th, 2013
1:00 pm

So it has to be the man planning the date???

Lazy umm!

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
1:03 pm

So…. I had an idea for a rainy-day blog activity…….