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Dating: What happened to creativity?

One of the common complaints I hear about dating in Atlanta is the complete lack of creativity. From the way single people approach each other – to the first date and beyond – zero creativeness. Dinner and a movie- texting to ask someone out- do you think we get in a boring rut when it comes to dating?

A lot of guys tell me they don’t put a whole lot of extra effort in making an impression unless the woman has that special “something” about them. So if a woman wants creative dates, she has to show and prove a lot before a guy decides her worthy of that effort? Is that fair?

When was the last time you had a really creative date planned? What is the best creative date you have?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

351 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
7:32 am

Hey all

I don’t know about that special something, but I at least have to know what you like before I can be creative with dates. so that would be well beyond the first few dates.

My most creative date, was a simple one, a dinner cruise, and limo ride to see the lights of Waikiki.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 16th, 2013
8:02 am

Good rainy morning,

I do not have much to contribute to the topic but I must say this, Househusbands of Hollywood SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :roll:

Button

January 16th, 2013
8:41 am

Good morning,

I haven’t run across too many creative guys when I was out there. I remember going on a date where we made pottery and another date where we went moon light horseback riding, that was so much fun. Fast forward the beau is not that creative in my eyes, his creativity is trying out different restaurants around Atlanta and going to the movies. Maybe I can get him to shake it up a bit.

LeeH1

January 16th, 2013
8:43 am

Boring people have boring dates. A good way to see if someone is compatable is to do something different with them, and then see if they like it or they don’t. Regretfully, too many women want bragging rights afterwards with their girlfriends, and put down guys who are out of the ordinary. Outdoors activities from fossil hunting and shark’s teeth searching is a good example- many women would not want to go out in the open and really do something different- their idea of a date is when someone else waits on them and pays for everything. The idea of doing something new, different and creative, or God forbid. learning something new, is abhorrent.

Ditto with a classical music concert, or dinner and a library discussion group. “Something new is something bad.” Sigh.

halo46

January 16th, 2013
8:44 am

Good Morning All, IMO if a guy doesn’t even try to impress you on the first or second date, then he loses brownie points. And he probably will not be given a chance to make a second or third impression with me. I will immediately place them in the friend zone. You see, women have to know they are worth being impressed. But that’s just me. I know, I know…all my friends say I need to bury the rule book. lol

Button

January 16th, 2013
9:00 am

I agree SlimNu Hollywood husbands sucked monkey balls!!! I bailed 5 mins into the show.

LH1 it’s not only most women, there are some men who is not up for venturing out either. I’m an outdoorsy person. I like hiking, camping, mountianing, canoeing and such. Most guys, heck all of the guys I’ve dated wouldn’t budge to do anything outside of the normal dinner and movie, well except for snorkoling.

disco

January 16th, 2013
9:03 am

good morning all. like most, I would truly appreciate a creative date. also, like most, I recognize that it’s not the date so much as the company. let’s face it, the most creative date ever with someone you only moderately like isn’t nearly as great as a simple, no fuss date with someone you are head over heels for. there are always going to be some variables.

since Vday is coming up I’ll use the topic to ask folks (especially you fellas) what kind of dates/gifts they’d like for the holiday.

Samonia

January 16th, 2013
9:06 am

Good Morning All,
There is a conference on February 9th at the Atlanta Marriott called From A Man’s Perspective Conference for all of the ladies who would like to hear from a man’s perspective on things. The cost is only $75. You can find more information at http://www.fromamansperspective.eventbrite.com. It looks and sounds like its going to be a really good conference!!

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
9:51 am

Morning…notice I didn’t say “good.” This weather is really getting to me. This is why I couldn’t live in Seattle. When you have depression, it is hard to deal with several dreary, rainy days in a row…

Anyway…I can’t really think of any dates that stand out. They seem to have been standard dinner/movie/drinks. When I was seeing The Young One, I got frustrated because he couldn’t come up with things to do. I tried to give him a break because he was still new to Atlanta, but there is always Google…

MsAtl

January 16th, 2013
9:55 am

Morning All!

While dinner and a movie is fine for a date, I wouldn’t want that to be the standard. I like experimenting and doing different things and I like creativity. Some memorable dates have been ziplining and go kart racing. I would appreciate a man putting some thought and creativity into planning and carrying out a date. It could even be so simple as planning a picnic with food and wine and scooping me up to enjoy a day in the park or fishing or something elaborate like an evening with Kem.

Button- Monkey balls? (howling)

Leggs

January 16th, 2013
10:01 am

Good rainy morning.

People should put their best foot forward on all dates, first date to 100th date. If you’re asking her out, that means there’s already something special enough about her.

SlimNu ~ the show sucked beyond suck! I know they’re making fun of reality tv, but what a waste of air time!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

January 16th, 2013
10:07 am

“Creative” can be code for: “distracting us from having to have a conversation” or “something I always thought about doing, but never wanted to pay for/do alone”, or “a place to go to/event to attend that has more to do with social standing than fun or enjoying your company.”

Had everyone those (kind) of dates and while they were ‘creative’, they sucked.

Oh, I went back to the museum, racetrack, rock climbing wall, restaurant by myself or with someone else, but rarely with the person that attended the ‘creative’ date.

My best dates involved talking and shutting down the restaurant (wait staff glaring at you as they ‘ret to go’) because we lost track of time.

Getting to know someone should come first, IMO. If for no other reason than crafting a ‘creative’ date based on something you two have never done (separately or together) and want to do.

Plus, too much creativity and you lose the reason to be out with the person in the first place, e.g. “getting to know” that person.

morning

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 16th, 2013
10:10 am

Morning ladies…..Looks like the floor belongs to you this morning….

I will say this though, while i do not go out of my way to make every first date something special and out of the box, women would get a lot more of that from most guys if they would

* Drop some of the pretense.
* Forget about the dating rules
* Not treat every encounter likle a job interview
* Disregard what your friends may think

I promise, You will open up alot of new doors if you do…..

MsAtl

January 16th, 2013
10:10 am

Bluz- I will say it for you; Good Morning! More rain through tomorrow, but Friday should bring you sunny skies. Hang in there!
Yes, you can always Google to find something to do or go to Access Atlants for weekend happenings. There are ways of finding something; you just have to exert a little effort. If I am not worth a little effort, then….

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:18 am

Hopefully, we’ll at least see some snow flurries tomorrow and that always helps to brighten my mood! I’m really looking forward to the weekend and having sunny skies. Got lots to do this weekend!

When a guy always seems to suggest a bar…there are problems…

Celisea

January 16th, 2013
10:20 am

Getting to know someone should come first, IMO. If for no other reason than crafting a ‘creative’ date based on something you two have never done (separately or together) and want to do.

Plus, too much creativity and you lose the reason to be out with the person in the first place, e.g. “getting to know” that person.

I actually agree with this. I think “creative” is relative. I mean just because you like skydiving and I don’t play with my life like that, won’t necessarily say I’m not creative. I agree wholeheartedly. Get to know the person and get a feel of their likes versus dislikes. You can do something all out but if it clashes with their personality, then IMO it’s on you more so rather than on them.

Also, go with compatibility. If you’re a nature guy and she’s not or vice versa, then IMO it would make sense to find a happy medium in the realm of creativity. Again, don’t go picking something to do that’s a spin-off from your likes and then say she’s not open to creativity. Save the creativity for after you’ve gotten to know a bit about the person. IMO, dinner is a good idea for when you want to have an opportunity to chat it up and find things out one another.

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
10:21 am

So ladies, what are some creative dates that you have come up with?

disco

January 16th, 2013
10:23 am

re changing things up. I remember my cousin was married to his first wife and she complained constantly (well not so much complained as cracked jokes) about his unwillingness to try new foods. she said that he had one go-to entrée at every restaurant and he would not vary in his choices. one day she literally ran down all the restaurants and all his choices and my cousin was sitting there like “yep. that’s what I like. I get what I like”. it was kind of funny.

DuShawn

January 16th, 2013
10:23 am

Why does the onus always fall on the man to make the plans? When was the last time one of you ladies took a guy out on a creative date? We appreciate that as much as you do. I remember dating this chick, she told me not to make plans for the weekend, and then sent a printed invitation to my office asking me to join her. She had an entire itineray laid out, including a suite at the Intercontinental (with the rose petals, strawberries, etc.). We rode Jet Ski’s in Key Largo, had some great meals and did some Deep Sea fishing. That still ranks in my top 5 best weekends ever and she planned the whole thing.

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
10:26 am

Morning, all.

Heeeeeey, Court. I like your post. :wink:

abc

January 16th, 2013
10:29 am

If you’re bored I doubt it’s due to the nature of specific activity, but rather due to the personality of your company, or you yourself.

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 16th, 2013
10:29 am

Morning Ms. Light….. How are you this rainy day?

disco

January 16th, 2013
10:29 am

D – I don’t think it always falls on the man. I think that most women would prefer that men took charge of such things but I also think that most women know that most men won’t. lol. it almost seems like to me that women have to specify what they want, how they want it and then the man will go along and make it happen. a lot of men really don’t want to be bothered with planning. please note I said a lot, not all.

Celisea

January 16th, 2013
10:32 am

Creativity falls on both sides. I, personally was speaking towards the man because initially setting up dates (in my experience) has been something he took on.

Celisea

January 16th, 2013
10:34 am

I am DEFINITELY NOT bored. So far, I’d say I’m having a blast. Just enjoying living in the moments we’re creating :mrgreen: How that for Harlequin romance….lol

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:34 am

I have dated broke men in the past and always suggested going to a picnic in a nice park…never had it. When The Ex and I first got together, I took him to a nice park and we took the acoustic guitar and sat by the water and he played and we sang together. That was wonderful. I just grabbed the guitar and told him I wanted to take him somewhere special to me. It was a park that I grew up going to right along the Chattahoochie river.

My ex fiance and I used to make a trek up to Helen at least every two months. That was a nice thing that we did. We would try to do different things each time. In fact, that is where he proposed to me.

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
10:35 am

Disco, do we have to take charge all the time?? What’s wrong with a woman taking charge sometimes like in Du’s case.

MsAtl

January 16th, 2013
10:38 am

Single and DuShwn- The ziplining was actually my plan (and payment). I have also planned Nascar racing and some other things because I like to do things out of the ordinary sometimes. Now I am eyeing a skeet shooting Living Social deal. (go ahead Single, let the comments fly, lol. Change of topic coming up).

disco

January 16th, 2013
10:38 am

S/H – don’t start with me this morning. y’all don’t have to take charge all of the time. there is nothing wrong with a woman taking charge like in D’s example. thing is I think a woman taking charge like in D’s example is probably leaning towards common, you know with the emasculation of today’s male and all. blog men excluded of course.

Button

January 16th, 2013
10:39 am

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
10:39 am

@Court: I’m good. Dreaming of beaches and fruity drinks….and oil rubbed on my toes….. :)

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
10:42 am

I’ve done the picnic in the park. We stopped and grabbed a pizza, went to the pavilion at the park, then I pulled out a basket I had packed with a blanket and candles. Had a great convo and dinner, and a little sumthin’ sumthin’ on the picnic table. :wink:

disco

January 16th, 2013
10:43 am

ms atl – I am a big groupon/living social person. one of my “resolutions” this year was to purchase more activities and less restaurants.

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
10:43 am

As a matter of fact, I’ll never forget the way he looked at me across the table and said, “Have i ever told you how beautiful you look in the candlelight???”

Cheesy? Yep. Did it work? Yep.

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:44 am

When I am with someone, I’m always on the lookout for inexpensive, creative things to do. I sign up to Groupon and Half Off Depot…whether it’s for food or something fun. Unfortunately, I haven’t found the right person to actually do them with. I once bought a half price gift certificate for me and the Ex to go to the Melting Pot and mentioned to him that I would like him to plan the date and time. Needless to say, we never went and it expired. I could have pushed more to go, but I put it in his hands and he failed. Surprise, suprise!

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
10:46 am

MsAtl after yesterdays blog I thing we all wanted some form of skeet shooting somewhere (LOL) ohhhh you meant with a shotgun (LOL)

Disco, why you keep thinking I’m going to start with you, what did I do (LOL)

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2013
10:47 am

ITL where you had to go there with the beaches and fruity drinks :-D

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
10:47 am

Morning All!

I agree with Dan and abc.

I think that, especially for the first few dates, while nice it’s really not about the “creativity” of the date, but the 2 involved. Get to know each other. So you may be an adventurous type that likes skydiving. I am afraid of heights so that would not work for me, but bikeriding or skating or a cooking class would appeal to me. It does not mean I’m not creative or adventurous because I don’t want to go along with your skydiving idea. But how would we even know that if we don’t know each other and have not really sat down and talked and found out each others likes and dislikes? Sitting down to a nice “boring” meal or 2 can accomplish that. Like Dan said, nothing like realizing hours have passed and the place is shutting down because you’ve gotten so caught up in each other!

As a woman, I really don’t mind and have planned fun evenings. But that’s only after I’ve gotten to know a guy some and feel he’s really interested in pursuing something with me. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to go all out and plan nice things with someone they feel is just passing the time until someone they think better comes along.

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:47 am

ITL – Now, that’s what I’m talking about!!!

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
10:49 am

@Bluz: The beach or the picnic???? LOL :lol: :lol:

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
10:51 am

Another thing, why folks always slamming dinner and a movie? A great meal, a great movie, what’s not to like? Maybe you need to upgrade the movies you go see and the restaraunts you are going to!!

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:55 am

Actually…BOTH! :-)

Bluzgirl

January 16th, 2013
10:55 am

Dinner and a movie is fine…just not all the time.

disco

January 16th, 2013
10:58 am

S/H – I would say that I’m just generally a defensive person but I really do think that you be trying to start something. if you would just agree with me all the time it wouldn’t have to be that way. lol.

hey kimmie!!!

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
10:59 am

Bluz – I get not wanting to do it all the time, that’s called being in a rut whatever you do. It just always seems to get slammed on forums like this. I am a foodie so I love trying new and different restaraunts and my hubs is a movie buff. But I would not say either of us lacks creativity, especially me!

kimmie

January 16th, 2013
11:02 am

Hey Disco!

Single – Just don’t become bitter like LeeH1 !!!LOL!!!

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 16th, 2013
11:05 am

Funny this should be the topic of the day……. A member of my social circle is planning a scaveneger hunt around Atlanta this weekend…. It is supposed to be centered around the birthday of one of our friends. I am thiking of asking this new person that I have been making small talk with if she cares to join me….. Problem is it is set to last the entire weekend and I am not sure about asking a first timer to commit a weekend to skipping around the city looking for gods knows what……

MsAtl

January 16th, 2013
11:07 am

Disco- I’ve used Groupon/Living Social deals to go rock climbing, indoor scuba diving, the aforementioned ziplining and Nascar racing. I bought one for pole dancing, but the place shut down. I plan to do something new/different/exciting at least every other month and that is a good way to try new things.

Single- I knew you wouldn’t let us down, lol.

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
11:08 am

@Court: I would, but I have plans. LOLOLOLOLOL :lol: :lol:

Into the Light

January 16th, 2013
11:15 am

Ummmmmm, I was just kidding…..didn’t mean to silence the blog……. :(