Would you relocate without a proposal?
If you were barely at the year mark of a new relationship, would you relocate to another city if they asked you to go with them? Allison is facing this exact situation. She did not hesitate to say yes and was excited at the idea of moving to a new city with her new man. It wasn’t until she started hearing opinions of friends and family that she second guessed her decision.
She says she is unhappy at her job, loves her new guy, and is not worried about moving with him without a marriage proposal. She has heard all the common reactions “why buy the cow” or “playing house” but it only makes her more confused. Should she require a ring in order to move with him? Does the fact that he asked her to go with him show commitment to their relationship?
Is it wrong to rearrange your life or consider the person you are dating when making a major life change?
Have you ever relocated for love? Did you regret it? Do you think we generally don’t take risks like this when it comes to love?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
212 comments Add your comment
Into the Light
January 11th, 2013
11:01 am
@HST: If you’d like to take Bluz and I to see a band, that would be great! LOL Oh, and you can bring my Birkin, since you previously forgot to mail it…….
Dang, Slim. Why’d you have to say Chinese? Now I’m hungry!!!
(I just ate a spoonful of peanut butter…..don’t judge me.
)
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
11:03 am
Now, I’m gonna be craving Chinese food as well!!! LOL!!!
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
11:04 am
Bluz/Slim/Light – See all you have to do is suggest something to me & then I want it! Chinese it might be for me too!LOL!!
DreamsMaterialize
January 11th, 2013
11:08 am
Slim sounds like you got the right idea about the weekend. Don’t hurt yourself playing BINGO. I heard it can get rowdy rowdy. lol
kimmie Everything is going well on my end. I’m looking forward to the weather this weekend.
ITL The break was good, but work in the new year hit like a whirlwind. It’s been really busy around here.
Lady~it is what it is!
January 11th, 2013
11:13 am
okay let me catch up and chime in y’all! Happy Friday and Howdy C!!!!! what is poppin’ off sis?!? lol
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
11:14 am
The break was good, but work in the new year hit like a whirlwind. It’s been really busy around here.
Dreams – Same here!! It’s been no joke!!
disco
January 11th, 2013
11:19 am
random but on topic: I wish someone would ask me to relocate right about now.
HST
January 11th, 2013
11:20 am
Y’all are killing me! I’ve had a protein shake and vitamins for breakfast and 6 egg-whites for a snack so far. All I can think about now is Mongolian Beef, Orange Chicken, and Tofu Wraps.
I’m going to the Doc later, I need Xanax.
ITL, I’m craving a drink so bad. For another week or two – until I get all my discipline back – I gotta stay out of drinking scenarios. I’ve been eating and drinking what I want, since X-mas day until this Wednesday. I wish I would’ve come out for Margaritas with everyone a while back.
What happened to CC?
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
11:24 am
HST – Sending you virtual Xanax!
Speaking of food and diets, how many of you have tried fad diets and did they work? I’m one to say that I’m not dieting, but making healthier choices. Diets don’t seem work for me!
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
11:26 am
Disco – I know that feeling. Sometimes you just want/need a life shake-up, a change! Step out on faith!
That’s why I’m not so quick to say one should wait on a ring. I would not want to look back and have regrets. Even though it just may not work out in the love category, that could have been your opportunity to put you in place for something great and life-changing. I can see if you have obligations keeping you some place, like kids, a home, sick parents to care for, a job you just can’t pick up and leave right away. But if you have none of those things holding you back, nothing wrong with taking a well-planned out chance.
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
11:27 am
Woohoo…got coworkers to order Chinese with me!
HST
January 11th, 2013
11:32 am
Diet is not a bad word Bluz. If you cut carbs out, and eat high protien & fiber – you can be as lean as you want. My diet is this – If I can’t list the ingredients, it’s out. If it deosn’t bleed or grow from the ground, it’s out. I do a cheat day usually every week, and sometimes (about twice a year) I’ll take two weeks off. By the end of the second week, all I want is my diet back, and the wholesome natural foods it provides.
A diet isn’t a fad, it’s a lifestyle.
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
11:36 am
Having my diabetic brother living with me now is opening my eyes up to carbs. We have decided to try to eath healthy together. We went grocery shopping the other day and he was very proud of me that I opted to not buy bagels once I saw how many carbs were in them!!! Pasta is my worst enemy. I’ll easily have it 4 nights a week cause it’s easy to make.
disco
January 11th, 2013
11:41 am
bluz – I have never been on a diet in my life. my mother, aunts, grandmothers have never ever been on diets. I just didn’t grow up around the diet mindset.
kimmie – I have moved and moved and moved again. folks still tend to ask me where I live at now when they see me.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 11th, 2013
11:44 am
ITL/Bluz – I just got back from picking it up. But dontcha just hate it when you ask for EXTRA sauces (soy/duck) they feel the need to tell you some is already in the bag? Well, that’s why I asked for EXTRA mofo
Gimme my sauce and stop acking like the sauce police.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 11th, 2013
11:45 am
Don’t hurt yourself playing BINGO. I heard it can get rowdy rowdy. lol
Dreams – I’m worried about the older folks. I hear they do not play games when it comes to that Bingo. I’ll wear some shin guards just in case any of the elders try to hit me with their canes. lol
DuShawn
January 11th, 2013
11:46 am
When Wifey and I moved to Georgia, we weren’t married or engaged, but dayum we were in love. I remember having the conversation with her, I was like “I gotta get out of Miami, it’s too much negative energy, and my life is spiraling out of control. I’m leaving at the end of the week…..You coming?” We locked the doors to our respective homes, said forget furniture, we will figure that later, packed a few bags and hit it, with little money and no jobs. I moved into my Grandmother’s house in this small town near Savannah. She had it built from the ground up before she passed. I ended up getting a Job and wifey enrolled in nursing school. That was the beginning of our transformation from Bonnie and Clyde to Cliff and Claire.
disco
January 11th, 2013
11:49 am
slim – I was in subway one evening and service was kind of slow. little old lady came in and got straight huffy about them taking too long. turns out she was picking up her sandwich to take to bingo with her and she didn’t want to be late.
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
12:03 pm
Dushawn – Very inspiring story! Sometimes, you just gotta go on and do it!
Lady~it is what it is!
January 11th, 2013
12:07 pm
I am not moving without being married period~ no second guessing that. …….
Lady~it is what it is!
January 11th, 2013
12:09 pm
yup having a plan works.
Celisea
January 11th, 2013
12:16 pm
Heeeey Lady, just got a minute to come up for breath!! It’s been busy as a beast over my way…whew!!
Lady, me either girl, bump that. No ring and plans in the making of a wedding or JOP of small gathering, no moving! lololol
Celisea
January 11th, 2013
12:17 pm
Lady – Wait, I like yours better, no marriage, no moving. I would though, like I said if we’re a couple of weeks away and we’re good to go.
Celisea
January 11th, 2013
12:19 pm
I have a lunch date. I look casual but cute today
Leggs
January 11th, 2013
12:26 pm
Is it wrong to rearrange your life or consider the person you are dating when making a major life change? – First, what’s wrong is Allison listening to her friends. If this is what she wants and she’s comfortable with her decision, then she should make it HER decision. There will always be someone putting their negative spin on things because it’s a tough topic. People need to stop listening to others who have no bearing on their relationship and start listening to what their heart and mind dictates. If she’s talked it out with her SO and is still comfortable with everything, then go for it. She made her bed and she will sleep in it with him, or alone. It’s her decision and her’s alone (if children aren’t involved). Let’s see what you guys have said…
Good afternoon.
Lady~it is what it is!
January 11th, 2013
12:26 pm
Go C~ Enjoy sis!!!! naw an engagement is not enough I don’t apologize for that. We can get marry and move forward with those type decisions at this point in my life. I did move her with nothing with a man and married him but my plan of actions was null and it wasn’t his fault. you live and learn. I am not taking that risk again.
Enjoy lunch!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 11th, 2013
12:29 pm
disco – Dang, Now I do not know if i’m more excited or scared about going. lol
Celisea
January 11th, 2013
12:30 pm
Lady – Thanks! Exactly honey, and 2013 is the year for making no apologies and taking no prisoners…lol Let’s do the dang thing. All positivity and upwardly mobile.
I’m feeling really good today
Alright I’m out of here. Got a call and then lunch
Lady~it is what it is!
January 11th, 2013
12:33 pm
Glad its a FALCONS WINNING WEEKEND TOO! Defend da Dome!
Peace!
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
12:49 pm
Leggs – I hate it when people allow what others say to railroad their dreams. Yes, it’s common sense to not follow a dude without a sound commitment being made, especially if you’re going to be dependant on him and don’t have any other support system of your own. Children also give you pause. At this point in my life, if I were not married, I would think twice about doing such. But it does depend on the situation and careful planning. Would you have moved from Mayberry to LA anyway to pursue your dream if dude had not come along and suggested coming with him when he got his promotion?
My aunt still regrets she didn’t leave her little secretary job she had at the AU center and take that international flight attendant job she was offered or the IBM job. Let naysayers talk her out of it and there was no man or kids involved in any of those situations. I have a few regrets of my own, missed opportunities I should not have let others talk me out of. You live and learn. And it’s your life, and you only live once. Sometimes you just have to go on and do some things and don’t tell others about it until it’s done!
I bet I won’t let any opportunities pass me by again!
Leggs
January 11th, 2013
12:51 pm
Hear hear, kimmie!
MsAtl
January 11th, 2013
12:53 pm
Afternoon All!
For me, it would depend on the circumstances. If I was planning to make a change anyway, it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to relocate for love. Likely, I would want my own place though and have a plan. I wouldn’t just jump up , pack a bag and leave. Glad it worked out well for you DuShawn. Lol @ Bonnie and Clyde.
Guess I will go get lunch now, y’all have me hungry with all the talk of food.
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
1:08 pm
What happened to Freaky Friday?!?!?! Doesn’t anyone have any drama going on in their lives?
I’m actually glad to say that I have no boy drama at the moment!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 11th, 2013
1:11 pm
Bluz – No drama at this very moment but I shole am dreading the hair dryer nods later. I NEED A NAP!
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
1:14 pm
I could use a nap also…only gonna get worse once my Chinese food gets here! LOL! This has been a long week…
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
1:25 pm
I’m about to make up some isht just to get a good convo going! LOL!
Leggs
January 11th, 2013
1:28 pm
DuShawn ~ glad it worked out for you. Had to chuckle at Bonnie/Clyde turned into Cliff/Clarie.
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 11th, 2013
1:33 pm
Bluz – Go right ahead because I feel myself even dozing off as i typppppee…….tthhhhis…._______-Zzzzzzzzz
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 11th, 2013
1:34 pm
Leggs, I didn’t chuckle, I laughed because cliff and Claire sure aren’t the first to come to mind after hearing Du stories
On topic, if Allison hates her situation, and has been praying for a change, here it is. Because the thing about prayers is they may not be answered the way you want them to be answered, but you have be able to see them when they are!
Leggs
January 11th, 2013
1:54 pm
Single ~ yeah, but he seems to “somewhat” lead the life of Cliff/Claire (lol). But, Cliff probably wouldn’t have had a few meals at his old fling’s house reminiscing over yesteryear.
Bluz ~ how’s this for a shakeup. I called a friend last night asking him to come clean my pipes after I take lil leggs back to school. He’s willing so ‘m going to have a wild night of sex tomorrow evening. Hopefully, the box of pancakes in the pantry will finally be used come Sunday morning. I just remembered, I have some Italian sausage in the freezer I can thaw out to go with the panni cakes!! Woo Hoo, it’s on and popping!!!
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 11th, 2013
2:06 pm
Clean your pipes, that’s a new one, I’ve always heard lay some pipe.
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
2:08 pm
Woo hoo Leggs!!!! You go girl!!!!
Random – don’t you hate the people who will text you a lot some days, but other days, they don’t respond or just use one word answers? Just frustrating when you know they are glued to their phone just like you are…
Bluzgirl
January 11th, 2013
2:09 pm
I sure would like to get my pipes cleaned too…been too long!!!
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
2:09 pm
Leggs – Aww sookie sookie now!!!
You know, I was thinking when I ran out at lunch time about something that’s been on my mind the last few years. It’s a little related to the topic. I realized I have gotten so TIRED of following the status quo, of doing the same “expected” things the expected way all the time!! Always being the “good girl” makes for a dull, boring lady! I remember this director I worked with on one of my past jobs. He had this quote he liked to make “If it ain’t broke, break it!” Now it’s a lot of ways to take that, but he meant it to encourage us to step out of the box sometimes.
I’ve been feeling this way for awhile. So while it may ruffle some feathers when I do the unexpected, like have my wedding in Vegas and wear a pink dress instead of a white one, I’m happy and this train is moving on, without the naysayers!!
disco
January 11th, 2013
2:09 pm
leggs – dude must be special. you gone break him off and fix him breakfast too? dang….
disco
January 11th, 2013
2:11 pm
kimmie – and here I thought you were prepping us for some major announcement like you were about to do something totally out of character. maybe go home and put a dog collar on your hubs and make him eat out of a bowl on the floor. that is out of character for you right?
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 11th, 2013
2:15 pm
Kimmie, you know how some say they wouldn’t go without marriage, maybe this man is the vessel to get her the one she’s really supposed to be with.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 11th, 2013
2:16 pm
Hell I was (LOL)
kimmie
January 11th, 2013
2:17 pm
disco – My hubs is the ultimate preacher’s kid. All nice and buttoned-up and lawyerly when he has to be, but buck and tatted up once he takes off that tie after hours. Such a suggestion would thrill him!!
disco
January 11th, 2013
2:19 pm
kimmie – well in that case later for whoever said to buy goodies at home depot. I say you head on over to petsmart on your way home and make it do what it do.
s/h – what’s going on with you?