accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Would you relocate without a proposal?

If you were barely at the year mark of a new relationship, would you relocate to another city if they asked you to go with them? Allison is facing this exact situation. She did not hesitate to say yes and was excited at the idea of moving to a new city with her new man. It wasn’t until she started hearing opinions of friends and family that she second guessed her decision.

She says she is unhappy at her job, loves her new guy, and is not worried about moving with him without a marriage proposal. She has heard all the common reactions “why buy the cow” or “playing house” but it only makes her more confused. Should she require a ring in order to move with him? Does the fact that he asked her to go with him show commitment to their relationship?

Is it wrong to rearrange your life or consider the person you are dating when making a major life change?

Have you ever relocated for love? Did you regret it? Do you think we generally don’t take risks like this when it comes to love?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

212 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
7:14 am

Hello All

Allison’s first mistake is letting friends and family influence her about a life changing decision. If she’s living on her own here, she can do the same there! Just because she moves to the same city doesn’t mean she has to move in the same house. And even if she does it’s her decision!

My ex moved her to be with me, but she didn’t move in with me.

So which is better, to do the things in life that make YOU happy, or regret the things you didn’t do because you listen to others.

The bigger question is does she have her own responsibilities and obligations. Having a job when she gets there should be a bigger issue than a ring!

oddmanout

January 11th, 2013
7:20 am

I agree with ya S&H, 100%

Exiled!

January 11th, 2013
8:06 am

She should move there,into her own place and continue with her man. It’s the better of the two options,vs staying where she is and be in a long distance.

Coz in a long distance,you know certainly one of the parties cheats. Unless uall just decide to date long distance,one eye half closed. :lol:

So Allison should go for it.

Forget the losers,half of whom proly aren’t in relationships themselves.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
8:12 am

Morning, all!

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I agree with Ex. Sort of.

None of those people offering “advice” are in the relationship with Allison and her man. Only the two of them know how real and strong the commitment is. If Allison feels this is the next logical step, then go for it! Say toodles to the haters, and enjoy her life. :)

Button

January 11th, 2013
8:27 am

TGIF!!
I agree with Single and Exile, guys you rock!

Exiled!

January 11th, 2013
8:39 am

ITL…I got my fresh cupa of caffeine…finally..on my couch..scratching my balls and Alert.:lol:

I think that’s why we in sync!

Exiled!

January 11th, 2013
8:42 am

Oh Morning MIA!

TGIF yeah..

I just hope the Falcons don’t choke

Ohh please God,have mercy on this city.

If the Falcons make it past the divisional game,I’m throwing a Scandalous superBowl party for MIA.

Promise!

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
8:44 am

Morning,

It would seem really weird to want a proposal with barely a year under your belt, unless you two just KNOW that’s what you want to do. When does the representative usually start to wear off anyway?

Sid the Kid

January 11th, 2013
8:46 am

If she pays for my moving expenses and let’s me lay around the shanty and get a good buzz on, I’m all hers.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
8:55 am

@Ex: I’ve got a big ole cup of Sumatra next to me right now….. :)

@Sid: What a great song! ’cause we gon’ lay around the shanty mama…..and get a good buzz on…..

disco

January 11th, 2013
9:05 am

good morning.

this is one of those depends questions for me. depends on the people (their ages, their maturity level, etc). depends on the place (a city I wouldn’t mind being in, a place I know I could make it if things went left versus some backwoods dusty little town that I sho nuff don’t belong in). in the case of Allison I think she should go. if the only thing that’s holding her back is what other people have to say now is the perfect time to learn to make choices/decisions for you, not them. if it works, great. if it doesn’t it doesn’t. lesson learned. regroup and get on with your life.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
9:07 am

@Slim: You should go back and read the blog from yesterday afternoon. Seems there is a demand for you to publish! :) :)

Celisea

January 11th, 2013
9:09 am

Ummm, not!! There are some chances and risks you take, and then there are some you don’t. I wouldn’t move for love, a job or anything else unless there’s a concrete foundation underneath me. IJS

For love? I would move if we’re talking to the wedding planner, have set the date and it’s a go. And that being with a month or so of the wedding. I guess I would want to know if he was willing to relocate for me? But, I ain’t in this situation so it’s neither here nor there for me….lololol

Oh, I’ve been trying to think of a good blog name for my boo, and I have it! “The Champ” :mrgreen: I like using “boo” in a snarky way but not when referring to my maaaaan on an ongoing basis!! So, it’s “the champ”….

We are the chaaaampions, we are the chaaaampions…..

Ooooh, and Ms. Olivia Pope and her black luuuuuv. You know you’re doing the dang thing when you can lay next to a man and it brings him out of his coma!! I.AM.LOVING.SCANDAL!!

Alright, I’m off to work now :mrgreen: Have yaselves a good one!

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
9:09 am

Whether or not I would make the decision to relocate for love would depend on what I have going on in my life at the time. If it’s time for me to make a change, then why not go for it? It’s not like you can’t come back if it doesn’t work out…I’d probably just rent my house out instead of selling it so that I could come back to it if need be!!!

Button

January 11th, 2013
9:10 am

I’d go for it, what’s the least that could happen? I wouldn’t live with the guy though.
IF she’s that easily dissuaded by her family and friends then she should reconsider the move and wait until she’s sure she want’s to make the move because it seems as if she’s not sure herself.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
9:15 am

And where the french is Blackfoote?!?!??! We haven’t had breakfast all week! Hmph! :evil:

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
9:18 am

@Bluz: Have you heard/seen The Rhythm Yard play????

disco

January 11th, 2013
9:18 am

C – I’m a “wanderlust” type so to me moving ain’t a thang. also, I think the champ is a good blog name. go head with your bad self.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
9:27 am

ITL – Ok, I’ll try to slip that in at some point today but didn’t yall have like a hundred pages of comments though. :shock:

DreamsMaterialize

January 11th, 2013
9:28 am

Morning Everyone. Seems like this is N/A for me, so I’ll just sit back and see what the ladies have to say on this one.

Anyone as ready for the weekend as I am?

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
9:29 am

I haven’t seen them yet, but I know the drummer and he is amazing. Has to be one of the best drummers in Atl…

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
9:29 am

DM – I don’t think I could be more ready for a weekend than I am right now!!!! :-)

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
9:43 am

Anyone as ready for the weekend as I am?

Dream – I’d say that I am…Operation Pamper Thy Self is in full effect. So i’m going to get this hair did (lol) this weekend, may throw in an eye brow waxing, try to find a church on Sunday, watch the game, then be ready to get my BINGO on later that eve. I’ve never gone to play bingo so i’m actually excited.

kimmie

January 11th, 2013
9:49 am

Morning Blog Folks!! I am SO GLAD IT’S FRIDAY!!! Good Lawd, I don’t know when I have ever been more ready!!!!

Topic – I find myself agreeing with Single, Ex, Button & Disco on this. Yeah, normally I would say go for the ring first, but you gotta know your situation. Sometimes you gotta just go for it! There are ways to protect herself – get her own place, make sure she has a job lined up for herself, and then just do the dang thing! Like Disco said, especially if the move would be to an exciting city with more opportunities to offer than the one you’re in. It could be a win-win, even if things don’t work out with dude. Heck, even if they don’t make it, it could put her in a better dating market! And she’s saying she’s hating her job too. Oh yeah, I would be excited too if I were in her shoes!

In the past, I’ve dated guys that had to move and we did the long distance thing. The kiss of death, for the relationship! Plus, neither of those guys even ASKED!

Her friends & family just want the best for her, I would hope, and they are on the outside looking in. I probably might advise the same if I were her sister or best friend, or at least tell her to make sure she looks out for herself. But at some point you have to grow up and decide for yourself. If it doesn’t work out, deal with that like a grown woman. I had a frew friends that did what Allison is considering, moved for love without a ring. At the time I thought to myself they may be making a mistake, but I did keep it to myself because they were dealing with some stand-up guys. It worked out for them, so what do I know?

Go for it, Allison!!

kimmie

January 11th, 2013
9:50 am

Morning Dreams! How goes it?

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
9:55 am

@Bluz: I may go check them out tonight. Is the drummer anyone I know???? :wink:

@Dreams: We’ve been talking all week about how long this week has been. First full week of work in a month??? Yeah, it’s time for the weekend. :lol:

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
10:00 am

ITL – You might know him…his name is John McKnight. I would join you, but I gotta watch my dollars right now. I may go see a friend play at a restaurant right around the corner from me. Or…I may just stay home and watch movies!!!

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
10:01 am

ITL – I just saw the shout out to my writing you mentioned. However, I have no idea who Honeyamber1 is…that moniker didn’t ring a bell but it sounds like they know a lot about the folks that are on here regulary.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
10:01 am

@Bluz: If the weather doesn’t clear up, it’s jammies and Netflix for me tonight. :)

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
10:04 am

@Slim: I was referring to the comments by Leggs and me. :) But I agree with you, HoneyAmber seems to know the bloggers well. And hey, she called me witty! :lol: :lol:

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
10:05 am

I’m looking forward to having the house to myself tonight…still trying to adjust to having my brother living with me. He took all next week off work and I’m kind of dreading him being there every night…

kimmie

January 11th, 2013
10:11 am

Slim/Light – I just read HoneyAmber! Really cool post. Yes, she knows us well!

Shout out HoneyAmber! Love your positivity!!

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
10:12 am

Wonder what HoneyAmber meant by just saying I remind her of her younger self…hmmmmmmmm….LOL

HST

January 11th, 2013
10:14 am

Good Morning Bloggers! Merry New Year! Happy Belated Holidays!

I didn’t marry her, but I offered her a deal she couldn’t resist. Even though I said forget working, she’s been working since the second month she came back. Since that she started insisting that she pay me back. I have refused to let her, so she’s been donating money in my name monthly. I told her the next donation has to be to our debauchery at the strip club…we’ll see.

The reality of it is, I wanted her back and love her dearly. However, I realized quickly what it is to have someone around constantly. I disliked it a lot, but she picked up on it, and acted. She gave me space, and went back to the independent woman I desire(d). FTR, she could have done whatever she wanted (she chose to work), as long as I got some of my alone time.

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
10:15 am

ITL – Ok, i had to go back..Preciate the shout out to a book. If I ever get the courage and focus to write one, I will definitely let you all know ;-) And you are pretty witty if I do say so myself :-D

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
10:16 am

Boy honeyamber knew all you guys (LOL)

HST

January 11th, 2013
10:19 am

What’s up with the “HoneyAmber” comment? Is it from yesterday? I gotta read it – where’s it at?

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
10:22 am

HST it’s on the last page, she’s one of the late night bloggers

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
10:22 am

From yesterday HST

HST

January 11th, 2013
10:25 am

“GET YOUR SMOKEY ON” oh my phrasing, phrasing, phrasing. I can’t believe that made it past review from the US Forestry Service. It’s at the top of my page here, JIC some’s work computer doesn’t show the AD.

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
10:27 am

Awwwww, thanks Slim. :)

kimmie

January 11th, 2013
10:35 am

Light – My work team gave me a cool black with red trim warm-up set and UGA t-shirt for Christmas. It’s really nice and fits perfect. I wore it today. I told them I would have worn my “G” earrings I have, but I didn’t want to overdo it! :)

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
10:37 am

Kimmie, don’t make me upchuck :mrgreen:

Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1

January 11th, 2013
10:39 am

ITL on your wit, I thought about adding free to my moniker, but all I could see is you call me food stamps (LOL)

Bluzgirl

January 11th, 2013
10:44 am

I’m bored and don’t want to work…does anyone have anything exciting going on this weekend?

Into the Light

January 11th, 2013
10:50 am

Yay, Kimmie!!! I know you are rockin’ it, too! GO DAWGS!! :)

LOLOLOL@Stamps (aka Food Stamps). You got jokes, EBT. :lol: :lol:

kimmie

January 11th, 2013
10:54 am

Single – You make me upchuck every day with that moniker, but I take it like a grown proud UGA ALUM, not just FAN, ALUM!!

I don’t have anything against their team, I give them their props. I just used to date a guy that was a FAN even though he actually graduated from some other little wack college in Alabama. Our “relationship” if you want to call it that was all about the physical. As a person, I can say he is a guy I just don’t like. Don’t wish him bad, just don’t like. Anyway, every time I see Bama stuff he comes to mind! :lol:

HST

January 11th, 2013
10:54 am

So bored Bluz. I’m dieting hard again, so I can’t eat out or have alcohol. I promised myself that I wouldn’t buy anything unless I needed it this year. Three of my favorite activities are out. So, I’m sitting here bored reading mediocre news – I assume my night will be no different.

If there is a good idea for an activity tonight, someone speak up…

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 11th, 2013
10:57 am

I’m sooo hungry. It seems like I go through two phases. One is where I have to make myself eat and I never had a specific taste for anything. Then there’s the other phase that i’m in now where all i think about is food, the next time I’m going to eat and what I’m craving. Today will be Chineeee food.

MissMoni

January 11th, 2013
11:01 am

GOOD Friday Morning MIA!!!

Have I ever relocated for love? Absolutely NOT!

Would I relocate WITHOUT a proposal? Absolutely NOT!

Would I live with my boyfriend at any given time? Absolutely NOT!

The moral of the story is as for ME, if we are not married we are NOT living together. A person is going to do exactly what they want to do, therefore do what you think is best for you.

Happy Friday!!! :-D