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Defend her honor!

I completely missed all the brouhaha surrounding NBA basketball players Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett. Apparently Garnett lost his cool and made the ultimate low blow by making a disparaging remark about Anthony’s wife (side bar: honey nut cherrios? Seriously stop referring to women as food guys).

As any man would do, Anthony got angry and then confronted Garnett. It made me think about the many times I’ve been with a guy who sat by while I was being disrespected. Obviously I am not a wife, but when you are with a woman, is it wrong to expect the man to defend her?

What would you do if you found yourself faced with a situation that required you to speak up on behalf of your date? Would you do it without hesitation? Would it bother you if someone defended your honor?

I remember once I was on a date and this rude drunk kid said something insulting to my guy. Before I knew it, I was up in that kid’s face fully prepared for a smack down. I know, classy, right?! Anyway – my guy was NOT happy at all that I didn’t let him handle it himself. I practically broke a fabulous shoe and this ungrateful dude did not even give me credit for having his back!

Needless to say, I am way more careful how I defend a dude’s honor. I let him go first and I have his back ..at a safe distance. What do you think? Is it best to let men defend themselves?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

291 comments Add your comment

lee

January 10th, 2013
7:17 am

Diva you made your guy look like a wimp. I have had a guy defend me, it never made me mad. smh

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
7:46 am

Hey all

First of all, my honor doesn’t need defending by know on because I could give a rats a$$ what someone else has to say about me, especially a stranger.

I’ will defend any friends honor when it’s just words, now for me to defend someones honor up to the point of fighting, I don’t think so.

Exiled

January 10th, 2013
8:43 am

Wife, yes, you get in the middle and defend….Anthony did the right thing. Garnett is a punk azz!

A Date thats new new???….ummmm…dependes. It would be interesting to hear what dude is saying,trivial stuff or major beef about her shady prior deals…..with a new date u have to tread carefullly coz that may be a teacheable moment as far as knowing her real self is concerned.

You dont want to have a black eye over a scamming,gold digging ,men changing and swapping, derty down low low heiffer…and this info was unbeknown to you, prior :lol: :lol:

So chill and listen to get the sense of where this is going…

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 10th, 2013
8:52 am

Morning,

Trying to defend a guy before allowing time to do it himself, would seem as if you’re emasculating him. It definitely will not help his case because it’ll appear as if he is incapable of doing it himself. Where dey do dat at?

The only time a boyfriend or whatever had to ‘defend me’ was a situation where a drunk guy in the club go too aggressive with me. He started off trying to talk to me, while my bf at the time was right next to me. (which was nothing uncommon when I was going out) Anyhoo, after I let dude know that it was going to go down like that, he started trying to grab my arm and pull me to him. That right there was violation and the bf stepped in to take over.

Celisea

January 10th, 2013
9:14 am

Men can defend themselves…it’s what they do. As for me, nope NEVER been in a situation where something popped off and I needed backup.

disco

January 10th, 2013
9:15 am

good morning y’all.

ex – re garnett. I agree. and he’s ugly as all get out to boot. that’s why he’s always popping off at the mouth. it’s not like he’s worried about anyone messing up his pretty face. lol.

do I expect a man to defend my honor? no, not really. I got this. if we are out together and something pops off I would hope that he got involved but even if he didn’t I’m going to go for mine. he needs to try to at least do crowd control or something though. lol.

Roberto

January 10th, 2013
9:17 am

I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to avoid conflict. The last time I hit another person was when I was in the 2nd grade. Even confrontations with drunk people can be handled with class, not anger or fists.

An adult woman who was “up in that kid’s face fully prepared for a smack down” still has a LOT of growing up to do.

czBrat ♀

January 10th, 2013
9:23 am

morning,all. and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

i don’t think my “honor” has ever been questioned or affronted. having said that, i was annoyed with s/o for not saying something to the drunken lout sitting behind us at the prince concert a few months ago. dude kept SCREAMING and jumping around with a beer cup in his hand. it would occasionally spill and barely miss me (stadium seating). s/o just kept rolling his eyes and i kept saying “uh-uh. this ain’t working for me!” finally, i chose to turn around and ask the guy if he could stop screaming in my ear and be careful with the drink. he apologized and cooled off a bit.

anyway … there’s my adventure. as for defending my man, absolutely! especially if the disrespect is coming from a woman, cuz you know a guy is gonna try to be gentlemanly about it.
i have no such constraints. :grin:

Exiled

January 10th, 2013
9:25 am

@Disco…actually i think somebody needs to smack his hammer head and long face,maybe that will re-configure his head for the better .

to think thetre is a womans out there that says,”I luv you Kevin”

…grrrrrrrrrrrr…… :shock: . i need a mouth wash.

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
9:25 am

right Roberto

Lets look at the example diva gives, something that happened on a BB court during a game, and to GROWN men want to fight over some words!!

A drunk kid says something to a date and a GROWN woman wants to fight him.

Nothing physical between either of them. Defending someones honor means only words have been said. When it escalates to something physical then its beyond defending honor.

MissMoni

January 10th, 2013
9:28 am

GOOD Thursday Morning MIA!!!

I agree that a lady should allow her man to defend himself as to not suggest that he isn’t capable of doing so. I like to feel protected and I want my man to have my back. When something is going down, that is not the time to be standing on the sidelines twiddling your fingers. Now, I’m a happy go lucky type, so it’s rare that something goes down to that magnitude. However, in the rare instance that it does, he should be right there beside me to correct any misunderstanding if need be.

Bluzgirl

January 10th, 2013
9:30 am

I think you should have each other’s backs, but no need to get violent with anyone. I should have known that the Ex and I wouldn’t last when I found out one of his closest friends said a lot of mean things about me and he didn’t defend me (claims he did talk to her about it, just not around me). After a blow up between me and her, he and I were out shopping…she called him and proceeded to talk about me and he never said he was in the car with me and tried to be discreet. I said very loudly that I will not accept being talked about right in front of me. Anyway…I was so upset that a) he answered the phone and b) he didn’t say a word about being with me and allowed her to go on and on. It was a good thing she lived in Valdosta…if she was local, I may have shown up to defend myself…

disco

January 10th, 2013
9:34 am

S/H – s’up buddy? I lump it all in the same category. defending with words or defending with fists. just let me know you are on my team. as for honor, I’m not even checking for honor. I’m talking GP here.

speaking of fists. how come my niece beat up a little boy on the school bus yesterday. she went over the seat on his behind and had him hemmed up against the window. lol.

MissMoni

January 10th, 2013
9:35 am

Bluzgirl- In the past I went through a very similiar situation, almost exact. However, I talked to my ex about his “bff” attempting to run my name in the ground and I also had a talk with her. I addressed to her how I felt and that I would not tolerate being disrespected by her or anyone else. It really says something about the person you’re dating when they just listen to someone talk negatively about you, as if you are some stranger on the street. That is a major pet peeve and as I said before, I don’t tolerate that!

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 10th, 2013
9:36 am

Random: I just ran across a person with the last name of Cumbass…It’s a good thing his first name wasn’t Richard :lol:

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 10th, 2013
9:39 am

Morning all,

The problem with this whole thing is that even before she was Mrs. Anthony, the woman in question was said to be pretty popular around NBA locker rooms….. From what I have heard, she has always been a fan of the game and the players were always fans of hers……

I guess the moral of the story is, Make sure the woman you choose to wife has not made the rounds in the circle that you travel. Now before I get my head blown off, I know everyone has a past and of course no one should be judged for it, but sometimes , just sometimes, there is some truth to the stories…….

Celisea

January 10th, 2013
9:40 am

And really, who goes around beating up folks for saying bad things about them? No one person can control what another does or says. It’s called freedom of speech in the free country where we reside. How about an “I could care less what you say about me” stance? IMO, it’s even an higher road to let folks talk….of course IMO

Like my mama instilled in me “sticks and stones baby, sticks and stones”

Bluzgirl

January 10th, 2013
9:43 am

MissMoni – It really is a shame how an S/O can be that way. After all of that, I had major issues with her and they started to talk less and less. Of course, right after the break up, they were back to being BFF’s and she tried trash talking me on Facebook when a friend of mine stepped up to stop it. She is a terrible person and it says a lot about him to be such close friends with her…

Anyway…I gotta stop talking about it…getting me riled up and I’m already in a bad mood this morning! LOL

Bluzgirl

January 10th, 2013
9:44 am

Slim – That’s hilarious!!!! I know someone who’s last name is Forsack and for some reason, I giggle every time I see or hear it!

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
9:44 am

Hey disco, doing okay, how you? I’m not a violent person, so it takes a lot take me over the edge. as children saying something about yo mama was fighting words, but as grown people I would hope we had grown up also. if all it takes is words to make us get violent, then why are we surprised every time someone does something crazy?

Take czbrat example that wouldn’t be defending honor, that would be as simple as asking the guy to keep it down so we can enjoy the concert also, if that didn’t work then get security, that’s there job, but nothing to start a fight about.

if it was me and Garnett, a simple man fu@k you would been my reply, but wanting to fight, going out to the bus after the game, seriously!

MissMoni

January 10th, 2013
9:45 am

Bluzgirl- Ok, definitely don’t want you to be in a bad mood, just know that I so feel you on this one! Perk up it’s Friday Eve!!! :-D

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 10th, 2013
9:46 am

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
9:47 am

Courtside, whether its truth the the stories or not, act like grown men!!

disco

January 10th, 2013
9:47 am

C – why did I just picture pee wee herman with that “i know you are but what am i”. lol.

personally I know I’m a piece of work and lean toward the confrontational side. I think I told y’all I’m pretty sure my neighbors are about ready to vote me off the block. I don’t necessarily need a man that’s as confrontational as I am, I just can’t tolerate a man that’s always trying to get me to let things go. talking about it’s not that important and always trying to calm me down. dude please. you knew I was wide open when you met me. lol.

Bluzgirl

January 10th, 2013
9:49 am

I’m just in a mood because my mouth still hurts from my dentist appointment on Tuesday. I thought it would be better today…Ergh! Oh well…you’re right…it’s Friday Eve!!!!!

czBrat ♀

January 10th, 2013
9:50 am

ooooh. moni reminded me of the infamous “meet my bff” experience. s/o so-called bff treated me like sh!t during a dinner party where i got to meet his friends. i had to pull him aside and ask him if i was interfering with something. he claimed he had no idea what her problem was. he says he spoke to her about it afterward and, basically, her behavior has damaged their friendship.

was a good thing she lived in Valdosta…if she was local, I may have shown up to defend myself…
i get your point, bluz, but frankly, i’d have dealt with the guilty party sitting next to me in the car.

abc

January 10th, 2013
9:50 am

Responding to a fool makes you a fool, too. Plain childishness. That it winds up in the media because a couple of pro athletes took part means nothing more than pro athletes don’t deserve the respect they seem to enjoy anyway. As to that, I say, be a more discerning audience.

So, if someone trash talks me or mine, I think the best course is just to ignore the fool. If it happens online, even less of a big deal — we don’t participate in any of that foolishness, anyway.

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
9:51 am

Disco, I can see it now dude trying to calm you down, now he’s got to fight you! (lol)

Celisea

January 10th, 2013
9:52 am

disco – lol

Why did the song “crybaby cry, wipe your weeping eyes……”, pop in my head? lololol The worst though, is a dude getting all bent out of shape over something said about him. C’moooon, can we say moist? I stay irked with moist dudes.

2CPTG

January 10th, 2013
9:52 am

Greetings, good people…..

Defend her honor? ummm, yeah, but to a certain extent;

MissMoni

January 10th, 2013
9:52 am

Ooooo czBrat, that sounds quite interesting. . . So WHAT exactly happenned when the guilty party was sitting next to you in the car???

czBrat ♀

January 10th, 2013
9:54 am

Disco, I can see it now dude trying to calm you down, now he’s got to fight you! (lol)
lmao. i see that too. :lol:

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 10th, 2013
9:55 am

Single, I understand standing up for your mate, but if your mate jumps in the water, whe get made when someone points out that she is wet???? The whole point was to get his head out of the game….. Sounds like KG did that plus some!!!!

disco

January 10th, 2013
9:57 am

S/H – naw. it never came to dude having to fight me but he did have to get out of my face and leave me alone for awhile. you know I go into “you punk MF” mode. lol.

C – I remember that. wasn’t that one of the little “put your hands on your hip and let your backbone slip” games. shake it to the east, shake it to the west. funny.

2CPTG

January 10th, 2013
9:59 am

speakin of defending you rmate, wonder what if Kanye’s latest song is in defense of Kim K……he does mention that Humphries dude…..and dos tell folks to kiss his a$$……

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
9:59 am

Court, why does the other person feel the need to point out she’s wet, are we blind? A better response by Anthony would have been, man fu@k you, then shoot the lights out!! but instead 2 GROWN men want to fight over some words.

abc

January 10th, 2013
10:00 am

That’s an example of a fool defending a fool.

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
10:01 am

yea disco, either run or fight, (why am I so turned on right now) lmao

czBrat ♀

January 10th, 2013
10:02 am

moni, in my case i chose to talk to s/o about it first because he was the one trying to claim me in front of his friends. so if something’s amiss here, what YOU gonna do about it??? that’s when he said he had no idea why she was being such a b!tch. i accepted that explanation and decided to watch and learn.

took about a year to get to the truth that the two of them had … um … “considered” being a couple at some point in the friendship. she was obviously being pissy because she wasn’t happy about him dating; and he obviously knew that was the reason for her nasty attitude all along.

as far as i know, they’ve not spoken in about two years.

Celisea

January 10th, 2013
10:02 am

disco – Yep….lololol

Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)

January 10th, 2013
10:02 am

Speaking of Kanye…How is he gonna be mad when everybody in the world can check out his girls’ Porn Star Skills on youporn.com for free????

disco

January 10th, 2013
10:03 am

2 – imo, kanye has punk written all over him. he is one that definitely needs to continue having “word fights”. he looks like he’d get mopped up.

S/H – I know everyone is all mature and take the high road and what not but there is something to be said about humbling somebody with a solid blow to the mouth. take that.

Single & Happy

January 10th, 2013
10:05 am

yea disco there is, it’s called assault (LOL)

SlimNu - More of me, less of you

January 10th, 2013
10:10 am

The topic makes me think of a song:

Chick: Would ya k!ll for me?
Dude: Yeah if my lifes in danger too

Chick: Would ya steal for me?
Dude: Yeah if that sh!t belongs to you

Chick: Even feel for me?
Dude: Yeah if the way you act is true

:lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 10th, 2013
10:12 am

Hey everyone. Happy New Year.

There’s always a balance to defending honor. What is the situation, and what are the possible consequences? Also, what is it worth to the woman I’m with? If I defend her honor and get shot in the process, was it worth it? Is it worth it for me to get jumped on by ten guys? Cemeteraries are filled with “brave” people. Sometimes you just have to let it ride.

2CPTG

January 10th, 2013
10:13 am

yeah, it would be kinda hard to defend ya girl, when what they’re saying is the truth…..what can he possibly say to Ray J? “bet you didn’t hit it like this?”

Exiled

January 10th, 2013
10:13 am

Courtside Seats…i dont think its cool for grown men to laugh about someone’s ho their face.

I understand what you mean about the wife being an ex ho in the lockerooms..but guys will say stuff on the side,not to his face….

In any case, when i used to play sport,that stuff wld remain on the field,not come out to the outside..these younger players are so punkish…..

IF Anthony said anything demeaning bout Garnett;s square head, i can see how Garnett got him back by talking bout the ho wife….tit for tat…..low blow..but fair in war if u start the war….not a fair fight tho when u start talking bout wives and kids…grown men shldnt do that…
but these are boys….so

but leave that on the court.

czBrat ♀

January 10th, 2013
10:14 am

disco, imma be real honest with you right now. it irks me at times that as “mature adults” we rarely come across opportunities to just crack a bottle over somebody’s head. *sigh*

MissMoni

January 10th, 2013
10:15 am

-disco A solid blow to the mouth will definitely cause a person to think twice, LOL!

-czBrat Glad that worked out for you. I did the talk to both as well & that was just a forewarning of what was to come. Let’s just say that while my ex & I were dating he said there was absolutely NOTHING going on with the mother of his 11 year old son, they just had a good friendship. How about after we broke up, he proposed to her & they got married. It was a 2 year time frame between our breakup & their marriage, but still something had to be going on. Like seriously, it took you 11 years to figure out you wanted to marry her?

Lesson Learned: Don’t ignore the warning signs of s/o being really “good friends” with certain females giving off clues that they’re interested. . .

Exiled

January 10th, 2013
10:15 am

As for Kanye…..he is brave….

All i can say…your girl has been smashed on camera by another dude and u ..ummmm..