Defend her honor!
I completely missed all the brouhaha surrounding NBA basketball players Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett. Apparently Garnett lost his cool and made the ultimate low blow by making a disparaging remark about Anthony’s wife (side bar: honey nut cherrios? Seriously stop referring to women as food guys).
As any man would do, Anthony got angry and then confronted Garnett. It made me think about the many times I’ve been with a guy who sat by while I was being disrespected. Obviously I am not a wife, but when you are with a woman, is it wrong to expect the man to defend her?
What would you do if you found yourself faced with a situation that required you to speak up on behalf of your date? Would you do it without hesitation? Would it bother you if someone defended your honor?
I remember once I was on a date and this rude drunk kid said something insulting to my guy. Before I knew it, I was up in that kid’s face fully prepared for a smack down. I know, classy, right?! Anyway – my guy was NOT happy at all that I didn’t let him handle it himself. I practically broke a fabulous shoe and this ungrateful dude did not even give me credit for having his back!
Needless to say, I am way more careful how I defend a dude’s honor. I let him go first and I have his back ..at a safe distance. What do you think? Is it best to let men defend themselves?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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291 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
12:41 pm
Single..it is what it is and that’s the way it went….LOL
disco
January 10th, 2013
12:44 pm
ex – I don’t need rehab. I just feel things need to be dealt with. granted in my youth I went straight to fight mode. as an adult I try to be reasonable and talk things out but as I’ve stated before sometimes you have to go into angry black woman mode to get results. all three of my neighbors had it coming. one was too nosey. I didn’t mind him being in everyone else’s business but he was going to stay out of mine. he was doing stuff like telling folks what time I left, when I might be back home. he was out of line. second neighbor I had issues with her not picking up after her dog. I’ve never owned a dog and I’m not about to be picking up dog poop because the dog owner won’t do it. third neighbor was on some racist stuff and I called her out on it.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:45 pm
EX, he asked her out, he took her there! Ladies I guess that answers the question about defending someones honor. you get in a fight, and he just leaves, saying oh well trick hoe! Has nothing to do with worth, because regardless of how it ends, I’ll never see her again.
For me it would go, leave that mess alone and lets go, grab her and try to leave the situation, if she insists on staying there then you will be there by yourself. But I’m not going to stand around and watch her get her head beat up against a car. while asking ole boy isn’t he going to break up the fight.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:47 pm
Okay Disco, all your reason are understandable, but who was your neighbor telling all your business to??
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
12:52 pm
Bluz ~ I was highly disappointed in Magic Mike too.
DuShawn ~ you definitely look bad in that situation simply because you’re the man, you’re there with your wife, playing dozens with someone you already considered beneath you. You stooped and almost got stomped on (verbally).
disco
January 10th, 2013
12:54 pm
leggs – re my neighbors looking at my back. I laughed because I cursed the male neighbor out (after many many reasonable convos that must have gone over his head) on a Sunday morning before he went to church and then I told him “now go pray on that”. lol. the chick with the dog, I threatened her and her dog. told her if she kept playing with me her little dog’s picture was going to be posted on the mailbox and if I caught her dog in my yard again it was going to be me and her. and then I turned and walked off her porch.
s/h – my neighbor is the neighborhood busybody. so not a good look on a man. he’s into any and everything that happens. he’s always watching who’s coming and going and commenting on folks’ habits and activities. I told him that it’s okay to notice things. we all notice things but it’s not okay to be running around like a little beeyotch running off at the mouth about what you notice. I was meeting a guy for dinner one night and the guy beat me to my house and had to sit outside and wait for me. my neighbor had the nerve to go up to dude’s car to tell him when he expected me home. not cool.
deep-end
January 10th, 2013
12:55 pm
Some chicks are all drama, always putting me in situations where I have to defend their honor. Act like a lady and you’ll be drama free.
abc
January 10th, 2013
12:56 pm
I did break them up after another minute or so. Chick could have been seriously injured.
Yes, SH, I’m saying that if you want to meet a woman of high value, worth your time, likely to bring something to your life that you’d appreciate, a club is absolutely the wrong place to look.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:57 pm
Damn disco, was his last name Cravetts (LOL)
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
1:00 pm
Okay ABC (not getting a headache today) LOL
Deep end if women are always “putting you in these situations” maybe you need to reevaluate yourself and the type of women you date.
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
1:00 pm
my neighbor had the nerve to go up to dude’s car to tell him when he expected me home.
i’m. on. the. floor!!
DuShawn
January 10th, 2013
1:05 pm
Leggs – That was not a good look. It started out jokingly and then took a turn for the worse. I don’t even argue. I don’t know how I got pull into that one. I think the people watching took it more seriously than she and I did. We laughed about it later. She ended up being pretty cool.
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
1:09 pm
Afternoon, all!
Dang. I’m reading some of these stories like
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
1:09 pm
Single..u say ‘let’s go’ but she keeps running her mouf at the other party..reminds of dude in the reality tv hip hop Atlanta/new York,not sure…his two tricks just running moufs and scrambling at each other.
What man got time for that nonsense?
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
1:10 pm
disco ~ I have a neighbor (male and married) who constantly watches my house. Just this week, he saw our old neighbor’s car (one who moved out of the house after 11 years) in my driveway. He rang my doorbell to ask why she never comes to visit him and his wife because this is not the first time he’s noticed her car in my driveway. WTH, I cussed his a$$ out in my raspy, horse voice telling him to never ring my bell again asking my company why this, why not that. Not the first time he’s commented on my driveway. Too many times he sees me drive on my driveway, he’s running over saying “you sure stay out a lot, I never see you or your car!” I’ve repeatedly asked him to stop minding the activity of my driveway and perhaps he should sneak home and canvass the activity of his own driveway! That shut him up.
Same neighbor I pushed down after trying to grab my breast and kiss me after borrowing a cup of sugar a few years back.
Bluzgirl
January 10th, 2013
1:13 pm
“I’m saying that if you want to meet a woman of high value, worth your time, likely to bring something to your life that you’d appreciate, a club is absolutely the wrong place to look.”
Judgemental much? What about you hanging out at the club? Does that make you low value, waste of time, bring nothing to other’s lives?
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
1:13 pm
abc ~ Single doesn’t want to get a headache and neither do I so I will say this and leave it alone. There are a lot of quality, highly valued people that go to a club. Not everyone goes to a club for a hookup. Some go simply to have a night out dancing, another form of socializing with friends.
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
1:14 pm
true @deep..
A classy guy deserves a lady
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
1:15 pm
Ex did you read what I wrote?
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
1:15 pm
DuShawn ~ one thing I do like about you is your honesty and you have always “owned up” to whatever dastardly deed you’ve done. That’s a good look!
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
1:18 pm
@ Du – yep. what Leggs said.
Anybody know a good accupuncturist and/or reflexologist?????
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
1:19 pm
U read what abc said,it’s fundamentally correct never mind that me,your high value guy have been inside clubs or that some of uall ladies been there too.
But clubs ain’t high value coz there is lots of low hanging fruit most times compared to high value.
So Whatchuall having nagging headaches for?
What abc said It’s the truf!
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
1:20 pm
Lol single..I skim u coz u always wrong
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
1:25 pm
Ex even though I may disagree with what some say I still try to read and understand before responding.
We aint even going to go into it about the headache.
time to run some errands, lata peeps.
DreamsMaterialize
January 10th, 2013
1:26 pm
Right time, right punch, and anyone (yes anyone) can get knocked out. We all saw what happened to Pacquiao. So, if a chick gets into a sticky situation because she doesn’t know when to stop running her mouth, then she’s on her own. You need to know your limits.
cba
January 10th, 2013
1:28 pm
@Leggs 1:10, please say this is a story due to the meds you are taking or bru-man has a steel plate in his head from being kicked by a mule as a child. (lol) You and disco should take pics of them and compare; might be twins
MsAtl
January 10th, 2013
1:29 pm
Afternoon All!
Just getting on, so I have no idea what happened earlier.
In certain circumstances I would expect a man to defend my honor. That said, I don’t go looking for fights and there are some situations where it is better to just leave the situation than argue.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
1:35 pm
cba ~ true story!!
@ might be twins! My neighbor looks like a black Barney Fife and Peg Legs. Anybody remember Peg Legs???
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
1:38 pm
Peg Legs????? Is he related to Tink Tink?????
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
1:45 pm
ITL ~ off to the corner!!!
kimmie
January 10th, 2013
1:51 pm
Afternoon Gang!
Looking rather lively in here!! I got no comment on the topic. I just trying to live a drama-free life.
As for clubs, I stopped going to them long ago. But when I did, it was just like Leggs said, to dance and hang out with a few friends. I stopped going because we all were in new places in our lives. Husbands and kids, careers, moving to other places, life just got in the way. The few times we would meet to catch up, dudes would get mad because we were not there to pick up men! I can’t tell you the last time I went to a regular dance club. I’ve been to comedy clubs or to hear music, but that’s all and were with dates, or groups or my husband. So not saying you could not meet a nice person at a club, but it has to be in the right circumstances.
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
1:53 pm
Sorry…..
(ITL now in corner, nose in the circle Leggs drew on the wall)
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
1:58 pm
la la la la la laaa, la la la la laaaa…….la la la la la laaa, la la la la laaaa
DuShawn
January 10th, 2013
2:02 pm
“-…..always putting me in situations where I have to defend their honor-“ Embarrassingly, I can recall another incident when I had a check a trick in front of her man. I truly lost my temper this time. And this was my sister-in-law (My sister’s husband’s brother’s wife). I never did dig this chick too much. Every time she gets a few glasses of wine in her, she thinks she can say anything to anybody. This happened in 2000. My sister had a New Years party. Wifey was pregnant with our first child. I had recently got jammed up, and had some pending litigation that could’ve gone either way. When I saw her at the party, she gave me a hug a said happy new year, then she follows me in this room and continues to converse. We were cool until she begins to discuss my situation, saying things like “I don’t know why you keep doing this to your parents”……”your sister ain’t bout nothing either, she think she all that” and all type of out of order sh*%t. I’m like “B*&tch you done bumped your mafuggin head.” This discussion escalated to the point that I wanted to whupp her a$$. People would hear the commotion, open the door, see the intensity and close it right back. I disrespected her so viciously; I wished her husband would’ve defended her honor. I told her to go get him. Somebody needed to get this a$$ whuppin that she deserved. It might as well be her man. I don’t think I have ever been that mad at a woman. The party ended and her husband left her there. My brother-in-law apologized to me for her behavior. He said every time she drinks, she starts some sh&^t.
abc
January 10th, 2013
2:07 pm
Headaches from thinking too hard maybe? This isn’t really that complicated, seems to me. Too difficult to deal with differing points of view? Could be, could be. I can appreciate that.
At the time, Bluzgirl, I took to only being in clubs when I was playing; these days I won’t even play in clubs. Besides, I made more playing in clubs 25 years ago than the poor guys playing in Atlanta today. It’s even worse in some towns; in Athens they have to pay the club, as in rental, and then make whatever at the door. Same in Austin. Pretty sad. The musician’s equivalent to clubs (as they used to be) these days is on cruise ships. I figure there must be 10-20 times more ships as there were 20 years ago. I should look that up.
Now, I’d venture to say that anyone actually interested in dance — not shaking your bootay to some hip hop, I mean dancing — can find suitable dance venues that are not some skanky club.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
2:15 pm
ITL ~ time’s up.
abc ~ you mixed up the meaning of playing.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
2:19 pm
My mistake, abc, I read your post wrong. I had the frame of mind of going to the club to play on the women, but you were talking about playing your instrument at the club. To come think about it, same thing (lol).
Bluzgirl
January 10th, 2013
2:21 pm
abc – Since you’ve played at many clubs, you have to admit that there are several high quality women and men as well as the skanky ones. I’m one who goes to clubs to hear live music, which is my all time favorite thing to do. I don’t know what kind of places you’ve played at, but I am a high quality woman and I’ve met many, many people at clubs who are the best people on earth…
IJS that you can be quite judgemental…
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
2:22 pm
WOOHOO!!!! I’m out of the corner!
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
2:23 pm
can find suitable dance venues that are not some skanky club.
@abc..now u talking of old,crwalling,creaky folks dancing…ur age is showing.
These in here are young folks..for the most part.
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
2:24 pm
gime a sip of that moca ITL….
as we watch together..Single ready to swing..
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
2:25 pm
I must be skimming too quickly. I thought y’all were talking about skrip clubs, not music clubs……
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
2:27 pm
@EX: I already drank it.
And it was an americano, with whipped cream on top.
@Bluz: I talked to your boyfriend, Boogie Man, last night.
abc
January 10th, 2013
2:31 pm
Not really, Exiled. Check out the salsa club, beautiful people dancing quite nicely, but nobody’s cruising for the opposite sex much, thus a higher caliber of customer; or any of the ATLX swing dancing parties, they are phenomenal dancers, and about half of them are still in college.
Not so much, Bluzgirl. In fact, I’d say that the musicians are often among the lowest lowlifes there! Of all the clubs I’ve been in, I don’t think I ever met one single person that I still knew the next year, maybe the next month, maybe week.
‘Course, folks often meet up with friends there, right? Chicks travelling in packs, several couples with the men eyeballing trick candy, then everyone drinks and drives. Not my scene.
Bluzgirl
January 10th, 2013
2:31 pm
ITL – LOL!!! He’s probably forgotten all about me!
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
2:32 pm
ITL..uall having some real guud stuff…dang…anyhoo,im out here tmrw,on the road, so ima have some cupfulls of revenge coffee binge..
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
2:36 pm
When a person’s picture has been distorted for so many years, no sense in trying to iron out its wrinkles. Lost cause.
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
2:36 pm
salsa dancing….@abc? my word!
havent u heard: ‘dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire”
Women do that for self esteem and boosting confidence.
Men? the agenda is less homnorable.
Salsa dancing!
Challpee
January 10th, 2013
2:37 pm
Ok, curious minds have to know, how do you “Axe” a question? Do you write a question down on a piece of paper and then hit it with a axe? Or, do you wait till someone is in the middle of asking a question and hit them in the mouth with a axe, I would like a answer to this.
abc
January 10th, 2013
2:38 pm
Tell that to a bunch of Puerto Ricans. I don’t think they’d take too kindly to criticism of something they consider almost a cultural sacrament or something. In fact, it might make for a confrontation worthy of your girl having to stick up for you! Kidding, kidding.