Defend her honor!
I completely missed all the brouhaha surrounding NBA basketball players Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett. Apparently Garnett lost his cool and made the ultimate low blow by making a disparaging remark about Anthony’s wife (side bar: honey nut cherrios? Seriously stop referring to women as food guys).
As any man would do, Anthony got angry and then confronted Garnett. It made me think about the many times I’ve been with a guy who sat by while I was being disrespected. Obviously I am not a wife, but when you are with a woman, is it wrong to expect the man to defend her?
What would you do if you found yourself faced with a situation that required you to speak up on behalf of your date? Would you do it without hesitation? Would it bother you if someone defended your honor?
I remember once I was on a date and this rude drunk kid said something insulting to my guy. Before I knew it, I was up in that kid’s face fully prepared for a smack down. I know, classy, right?! Anyway – my guy was NOT happy at all that I didn’t let him handle it himself. I practically broke a fabulous shoe and this ungrateful dude did not even give me credit for having his back!
Needless to say, I am way more careful how I defend a dude’s honor. I let him go first and I have his back ..at a safe distance. What do you think? Is it best to let men defend themselves?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
291 comments Add your comment
Celisea
January 10th, 2013
11:06 am
Remember, David wasn’t afraid of Goliath. Well he was,
Actually he wasn’t, it was the rest of Israel that was. God sent him there to show that “this is how you do the dang thing” Actually he was more irked than anything cause Goliath had the audacity to go there.
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
11:06 am
Courtside..thats common in Disco’s hood..
@she saw that your hand game was suspect and she ran off with with him…….
disco
January 10th, 2013
11:06 am
courtside/fellas – how would that work in reverse? you watch your girl get beat down (by another woman of course). how does that make you feel? I remember once back in the day this guy pumped his current girlfriend up to fight his ex. he drove the new chick to the ex’s house to fight. ex came outside and laid the smackdown on the girl in front of all the nosey project people (me included). after the fight dude picked his bruised, battered, embarrassed girlfriend up and put her back in the car. folks were straight clowning.
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
11:07 am
Stamps, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain…..I like to tiptoe right up to it and teeter. LOLOL
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:11 am
Celisea ~ as soon as I typed that, I felt a correction coming on from you (lolol). Thanks, not afraid, “irked” was more like it.
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
11:11 am
And on that note, I will excuse myself before I do any more damage.
See y’all after lunch…..
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:13 am
disco ~ both of them deserved each other. I wish a so-called man would pump me up AND escort me to his ex’s place to fight. Not going to ever happen!
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
11:15 am
Not going to ever happen!…
u scared Leggs?
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 10th, 2013
11:15 am
Disco, I hope to never be in that situation…. I just do not see how anything good can come from it….. if my girl loses teh fight then teh night / date is ruined because her head all swollen like Martin when he got hit by Tommy Hearns; If the folks show up, then I gotta come across with a couple hundred dollars for bail…Hell, even if she scores a quick knockout, the mood is gonna be shot and there will be no romance after that…..
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
11:16 am
@Disco..if my talkative,loud mouthed girl loses a fight when i was remonstrating with her to stop it..
she deserves the beat down.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
11:17 am
he drove the new chick to the ex’s house to fight.
The new chick is stupid to even go over there..let alone fight. And what kind of punk a$$ dude drives one woman to another woman’s house for a fight anyway?…does his ex mean that much to him still? That’s the question the new gf should’ve asked him before they even got in the car. All of that was childish…IMO.
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
11:18 am
c’mon now, single. y’all know how i feel about tears.
leggs, she and i eventually had our heart-to-heart too. bottom line: you didn’t make something happen before i came along. door is wide open anytime he wants to walk, but he’s made his choice. where’s the riddle? this is not complicated! he’s told you twice; i’ve told you once. next time you will be deeply embarrassed.
hey, light!
Celisea
January 10th, 2013
11:19 am
All of that was childish…IMO.
cosign….
Leggs, I was actually skimming cause I’d popped off of here and saw that. lolol
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:20 am
Ex ~ YEP! All the fights I’ve been in I was scared. However, never scared enough to runaway from the fight (well only once, but I still fought). The way we fought, it’s best to be scared. Razors under the tongue, in the hair, lots of biting and pulling off bras, etc. Yeah, man, I was scared.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:24 am
No cz I don’t know how you feel about tears, but I’m willing to bet they don’t make you wet (LOL)
On another note (having to agree with someone else) if you’re with someone that has to confront every situation, or always somewhere that is is neccesary maybe it’s time to rethink YOUR life and YOUR choice in relationships. I cant remember the last time I even felt the need to confront someone.
disco
January 10th, 2013
11:30 am
sassy – I don’t deny that it was childish. this was 20+ years ago. all involved were late teens, early 20s. personally, I went to two different chicks houses to fight them. three really but the third one wouldn’t come outside. lol.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:32 am
Courtside ~ that scene of Martin’s face should go down as one of the best laughs in sitcom history. I was beside myself with laughter.
czB ~ exactly, where’s the riddle. Amazing how people don’t want someone until they get with someone else and now you think you want him wondering if you still have a chance, walking around plotting with a pissy attitude. There’s a reason “cold cocked” exists.
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
11:33 am
death, single. death is the only allowance i make for male tears.
…but the third one wouldn’t come outside.
bwahahahaha!!!
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:36 am
disco your story reminded me of a situation that happened to me.
I was having dinner with my ex and our kids at her place, we had finished dinner. She got a call, and few minutes after getting off, she suggested we go get some ice cream. we ended up staying out about an hour and a half, I thought nothing of it. Later on she told me that it was her ex on the phone and he was coming over to get something and insisted he was coming right then, so to avoid a confrontation she opted to leave it outside for him and not be there when he came.
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
11:38 am
so Disco…u think u need rehab?
LOL
u popping off as a teen..and now ur neighors cant stand u…
whats up with that…..?
dont u think u need peace….and a man?
u deseve a man,right? 
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
11:40 am
all involved were late teens, early 20s.
Oh okay that makes sense. If that’s the case then I’m guilty as well b/c on graduation day my cousin got in a fight with this girl and the chick ran(drove really) to her aunt’s house and we followed(about two car loads) and went INSIDE the house after her…the young lady got beat down some more but sadly her mom and aunt were collateral damage ’cause they got some,too. I know, I know….I was 18..don’t judge me..
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:40 am
Dang CZ, what about pain
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:42 am
Damn sassy, I guess you guys picked the right house, cause had it been mine, shoot first, ask questions later (LOL)
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
11:43 am
people don’t want someone until they get with someone else and now you think you want him wondering if you still have a chance
i say work that sh!t out on someone else’s time. it’s like rebounding too quickly after a breakup. why you gonna expose somebody else to your inner mess? clean it up! smh.
anywho.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:43 am
disco, why do your neighbors hate you?
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
11:48 am
what about pain
what’s that?
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:49 am
CZ, was all the blame on her, or was some of it on him. Why would anyone take there new S/O around someone that they know they had a thing with and still have feelings for them?
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 10th, 2013
11:49 am
CZ Brat, So the only time you can accept a dude crying is when someone dies???? Damn!!! What about that scene in “The Vow” when dude realizes that she is never gonna remember him, and he decides to start dating her all over again???? That isht touched my heart man……. :’(
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:51 am
Physical pain, pain so much that morphine, is the only thing that can relieve it. Heart break is the only thing that can make cry, so I feel you, but IJS
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:58 am
disco’s neighbors don’t like her cuz she tells all of them what the real deal is, no sugar coating, lets them watch her back as she’s walking away with them still in mid sentence, looking out her peephole when they knock on her door and never open it to them. Doesn’t care to mingle when they have their neighborhood greets at each other homes, will only wave at them with that crooked smile of hers (lol).
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
12:02 pm
all the blame on her? not at all. i’m just feeling leggs’ comment because there is much truth to it. as i said, door was wide open for dude to walk if he was having second thoughts about what could have been. and we did have the convo about not bringing someone new into unresolved sh!t.
not much i can do if he swears he had ZERO interest and thought she was over it too. like i said, watch and learn. he has proven right by me, but there are reasons i’m so slow to accept the rings.
i’m a brat. not a sap.
cs, we watched “the vow” together. i had to fight to keep my lunch down.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:03 pm
The real deal, (LOL) sounds more like the crazy cat lady in the neighborhood (LMAO)
abc
January 10th, 2013
12:03 pm
I think there’s a bit of posturing going on with some of these comments. Either you’ve never been in such a position as to have to decide whether to take action or not, or you’re a future felon, or what? Something like that.
It reminds me of a lesson I learned in my youth: I was out and had picked up some trick floozy azz ho, who then proceeds to get in a fight in the parking lot with some other chick trick. Mine is getting her head beat against a car fender when I turn to the other trick’s dude and say “Do you think we should stop them?” “Heck no,” he said. “Mine’s winning!”
Lesson learned: don’t hang out with floozy azz trick chick ho’s. If fact, just stay away from where they go. Chances are, if you encounter a scene like that yourself, you left yourself open for it by being where you shouldn’t be, doing what you know you probably shouldn’t.
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
12:08 pm
and for the record, there is a part of me that suspects he just wanted to rub her nose in his new-new. maybe he thought it would be a feel good and move-on kinda thing but he ended up head over heels.
and that ain’t my fault. i’m just being me.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
12:10 pm
Single ~ cats are afraid of disco!
I haven’t seen The Vow, but want to. Speaking of movies, I got the DVD Magic Mike as a Christmas gift. I was eager to see it cuz I like dirty dancing. WTH did Matthew McChougny (sp) do to deserve an Oscar nomination. He best not win a damn thing and I like him A LOT!!!
“…you left yourself open for it by being where you shouldn’t be, doing what you know you probably shouldn’t.” – Not at all. You left yourself open by being with a trick and a ho. Nothing but nastiness follows that…
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:13 pm
ABC I would have broke the fight up, then drop ole trick off, I may have slowed down long enough for her to get out. (LOL)
abc
January 10th, 2013
12:13 pm
Actually, I was young enough that I spent a LOT of time in clubs, playing and working if not being a patron. In my opinion, there’s not much there besides trick ho’s. The high value women don’t go there. Which was my take-away: to avoid people’s bad behavior, avoid the bad people; to avoid the bad people, avoid the places they frequent.
Bluzgirl
January 10th, 2013
12:14 pm
I have The Vow at home from Netflix. I was super disappointed in Magic Mike! If they’d had at least 5 more dance scenes, then it would have been ok…
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
12:15 pm
I guess you guys picked the right house,
Single it didn’t matter that day b/c we had “heat”,too. Looking back at it I know full and well that some of us could’ve lost our lives righ before we graduated highschool…
Sometimes I laugh at it and when my cousins and I get together and re-tell that story we count our blessings…and laugh some more.
Jake-SPJTWB
January 10th, 2013
12:15 pm
what up folks
DuShawn
January 10th, 2013
12:16 pm
I recall an incident that happened within the last year or so when I disrespected this chick in front of her date. A potnah of mine had a birthday party for his lady. They rented a party boat on lake Allatoona. It was about 20 of us. We all had rooms at the same hotel. While on the boat, this one female was sitting next to wifey. They were talking and seemed to be hitting it off. I don’t remember how it started, but she said something slick to me and I responded slicker and it was on. I didn’t know her or who she was with. Unbeknownst to me, it was the dude driving the boat. I found out later, he lived in Chicago and was just hittin her while in town. Anyway, our slick conversation escalated to a full fledge argument/cuss out. Her Dude looking like “This girl and her dayum mouth” and my lady looking at me like “DuShawn, just walk away and leave the girl alone.” I should have, but she was shining on me. She called me a “old cotton d&*ck a$$ ninja” and the whole boat started laughing. Man….I had to go in. I remember I said “Look at your toes, you foot draggin skank! You couldn’t spell pedicure if I gave you a dictionary” Our exchanges got so brutal (but I never called her a B&*tch) the entire boat got quiet, changed the whole vibe. Ironically, later on that night at the hotel, we ran into each other and apologized. I shook hands with her dude and the four of us had a few more drinks together. She even rode back to Atlanta with me Wifey.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:19 pm
“Single it didn’t matter that day b/c we had “heat”,too.” I laugh when people use that line, unless you had yours out when you walked in the door, you’ll just be dead with heat (LOL)
ABC are you saying high value women don’t go to clubs?
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
12:22 pm
unless you had yours out when you walked in the door,
Umm yeah we got down like that…we weren’t about to fall up in there empty handed.
Just like Notorious B.I.G said, “Kick in the door wavin the .44″…
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:25 pm
Sassy, when did you get out? cause I know you went to jail (LOL)
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
12:26 pm
It’s never a good thing either to break up a fight unless it’s someone u really care for.
I know a dude who tried that,outside the parking lot of a nite club.
One of the parties shot him.
He paid with his life!
That’s why in some respects I respect those who pack heat legally.
Knucklehead wants to fight you:?
Boom boom..puff!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
12:27 pm
No I didn’t go to jail….afterwards I went home, took a shower and graduated from high school…in the top 10% of my class at that….(LOL)
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
12:31 pm
Sassy once again, you picked the right house (LOL)
EX if she was with ABC then he should have tried to break the fight up.
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
12:34 pm
trick hos.
to drank they trick
to talk to her,they trick
to take her outside the club they trick..’oh buy my friend a drank’
to ride her,they trick,,’can I have cab money’
trick hos
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
12:38 pm
Single I think I agree with abc…on one thing:to break a fight the person gotta be worth it.
Any trick,just coz she’s with me? I don’t think so..
A lot of times,those argumentative types are some frinch hos you should have picked up in the first place. Now they argue and want to fight,showing their real colors.
Just leave her to get her dues.
Exiled!
January 10th, 2013
12:39 pm
shouldn’t