Defend her honor!
I completely missed all the brouhaha surrounding NBA basketball players Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett. Apparently Garnett lost his cool and made the ultimate low blow by making a disparaging remark about Anthony’s wife (side bar: honey nut cherrios? Seriously stop referring to women as food guys).
As any man would do, Anthony got angry and then confronted Garnett. It made me think about the many times I’ve been with a guy who sat by while I was being disrespected. Obviously I am not a wife, but when you are with a woman, is it wrong to expect the man to defend her?
What would you do if you found yourself faced with a situation that required you to speak up on behalf of your date? Would you do it without hesitation? Would it bother you if someone defended your honor?
I remember once I was on a date and this rude drunk kid said something insulting to my guy. Before I knew it, I was up in that kid’s face fully prepared for a smack down. I know, classy, right?! Anyway – my guy was NOT happy at all that I didn’t let him handle it himself. I practically broke a fabulous shoe and this ungrateful dude did not even give me credit for having his back!
Needless to say, I am way more careful how I defend a dude’s honor. I let him go first and I have his back ..at a safe distance. What do you think? Is it best to let men defend themselves?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
291 comments Add your comment
disco
January 10th, 2013
10:16 am
S/H – I’m just saying, sometimes assault is called for. case in point, I’ve mentioned a friend having issues with her adult children at home. last night they had a situation. grown son got a little fly, popped off at the mouth, threw something at his mom and hit her and then went to shove her down. her reaction was to call the police on him. I told her my reaction would have had him trying to get to a phone to call the police on me. I would have gone Bernie mac and hit that boy in the head with a hammer.
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
10:17 am
Hey 2C..whats up man?
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:18 am
As for Kanye and Kim, they both LOVE attention and that’s exactly what they are getting. So, they achieved their goal.
2CPTG
January 10th, 2013
10:18 am
and it also depends on the setting in which you call yourself playing superhero; if you’re in a crowded environment and security is all over the place, you can come off like a beast….but let it be somewhere where the lights are dim, and you’re surround by thugs, then what you gon’ do?
Bluzgirl
January 10th, 2013
10:18 am
Brat – he definitely had to deal with me too…I was not a happy camper…
2CPTG
January 10th, 2013
10:19 am
Exiled, what’s up kinfolk……
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
10:19 am
Good morning, horrible night!
I think a guy should defend his date’s honor, his girl’s honor, his wife’s honor. Point blank, period. For a man to sit by while the woman he’s out on a date with is being disrespected is bothersome. Many fools walk among us and sometimes it’s best to just leave the premises and walk away. I don’t think men would take kindly to his woman jumping up defending him. It might make him feel like a punk/wuss.
Jeff
January 10th, 2013
10:20 am
I’m all for standing up for your partner, but if it’s a routine issue, maybe you should change your behavior and not constantly be in the middle of drama.
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:21 am
Leggs- You hit the nail on the head, exactly my point!
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:23 am
Disco, your example is self defense, not assault, big difference.
2CPTG
January 10th, 2013
10:24 am
ladies, y’all like/want to feel protected, so if a dude stands up for you, tell me that ain’t an added plus???? and don’t let me take a punch on your behalf…….oh, we hunchin’ after that!
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 10th, 2013
10:28 am
“don’t let me take a punch on your behalf…….oh, we hunchin’ after that!”
LOL…. If dude gets hit with a BOLO punch, His lady better appreciate it enough to pull something special out of the freak bag to show her appreciation!
:):)
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:30 am
2CPTG- LOL at the hunchin’ comment, haven’t heard that term in a minute. To answer your question, that is an added plus, it says something about his character. However, an added plus in MY book does not equate to pre-marital sex.
disco
January 10th, 2013
10:30 am
S/H – had she assaulted him in the beginning it would never have become a matter of self defense. lol. still, at the end of the day whether you start it or finish it, blows are blows. you’re either swinging or you ain’t.
growing up I think my mother, like mothers everywhere I assume, always told us it was okay to hit someone back if they hit us first. turns out that every single fight I was ever in I passed the first lick. I didn’t start the issue but I always started the fight. funny thing, I never got suspended from school for fighting. I think it’s mostly because I was small, quiet, a good student and I was always fighting the louder, more rowdy girls who were always in trouble. I don’t know but I never even got detention.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:30 am
Depends on how you take that punch, aint that right Disco?
disco
January 10th, 2013
10:32 am
2 / courtside – I’ll go along with that. you my man and you knock a ninja out for me. it’s on and popping later on that night (or after i bail you out).
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:32 am
Disco starting a fight
On taking a punch she aint hunching if ” you got knocked the fu@k out” LOL
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
10:33 am
oh, we hunchin’ after that!
and some women are just quarrelsome,period…..u dont want to take a blow coz of that one….they quarrel with guys,they quarrel with other chics..just embarrasing….
better to stay away from them rather than having to choose who to back…..
disco
January 10th, 2013
10:33 am
S/H – you see I put my own spin on it. I don’t want the fool that got knocked out. I might have to break up with him and holler at the other dude. lol.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:33 am
disco he did say land the punch, he said take the punch! another big difference. ( you still turning me on) lmao
czBrat ♀
January 10th, 2013
10:36 am
and don’t let me take a punch on your behalf…….oh, we hunchin’ after that!
omg! you take a punch on MY behalf? papa, we don’t have to wait for “after”. just make it to the car!
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:36 am
Disco, break up and get with Dae Dae, yea I can see that happening (LOL)
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
10:36 am
czB ~ I remember you telling of the story with him and the sour faced girl at the gathering where you met his friends. For a woman to “diss” the woman of someone she “thought” about dating but never did is immature on many levels. All I can say is she was mighty thankful you didn’t have to pull her to the side.
If you get with a woman that’s “been around,” you should probably expect some talk from outsiders. Your real friends may make a comment, realize it’s your choice and leave it alone. Haters will always talk.
I’m not a hater, but Kanye and Kim looks absolutely ridikulos to me and the fact that they are going to pimp their baby is quite sad.
Hey there, 2CPTG/DreamsM!
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
10:36 am
does not equate to pre-marital sex.
@MissMoni
dont spoil the fun,its too early in the mrning
pre-marital sex?
we are in 2013 lady!!
pre-marital sex is now more common than polio and a lot of other germs..actually more common than the common flu
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:38 am
Cz dude TAKES the punch but cry’s like a baby, you still huching? dude TAKES a punch and acts like he needs life flight, you still hunching?
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
10:40 am
Morning, all!
Heeeeeeey, Dreams and cz! Long time, no see.
On the “defending honor”, yes, had it happen several times. Not anything physical, just the man I was with letting the offending party know that he’d appreciate it if he would cease and desist.
DANG! cease and desist. I sound like the po po. LOLOLOLOL
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:40 am
Exiled- Good morning to you & I don’t have a problem going AGAINST what is deemed normal in 2013! Just because something is common doesn’t mean that you have to go along with it. We all have choices.
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
10:41 am
disco ~ just saw your comment at the top of the page. I have to agree with you. I immediately pictured Mama beating my oldest brother with a broom stick for him raising his hand to hit her. I am my mother’s child and homey don’t play that. You’re right, you’ll be calling the cops on me.
and don’t let me take a punch on your behalf…….oh, we hunchin’ after that!
omg! you take a punch on MY behalf? papa, we don’t have to wait for “after”. just make it to the car! – Yes ma’am!
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:42 am
Not at all knocking anybody that chooses to do things differently, just know that doesn’t work for me.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:43 am
Dang I’m so glad I have my own life, people know to much information about all these other peoples lives (LOL)
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
10:43 am
Completely O/T: Why is “Gett Off” by Prince stuck in my head????
let a woman be a woman and a man be a man……get off
2CPTG
January 10th, 2013
10:44 am
hey Leggs!!!!! you got over that flu bug yet?
DreamsMaterialize
January 10th, 2013
10:45 am
but let it be somewhere where the lights are dim, and you’re surround by thugs, then what you gon’ do?
2CPTG That was my point too. Long time bruh. What’s good with you?
Exiled
January 10th, 2013
10:46 am
just kidding MissMoni…I aint gon promote debauchery myself……..
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
10:46 am
If dude gets hit with a BOLO punch, His lady better appreciate it enough to pull something special out of the freak bag to show her appreciation!
Like a trip to Home Depot to pick up Appreciation Supplies…..
DreamsMaterialize
January 10th, 2013
10:47 am
Hey Leggs, how’s it going?
What’s up, ITL. How have you been?
DuShawn
January 10th, 2013
10:47 am
More often than not, when a dude is disrespectful to a female it is in direct response to public rejection and perceived humiliation. Women could avoid a lot of these conflicts by dismissing pursuers honorably. Let them leave with their pride at least. I have heard several conversations that begin with “Excuse me Miss” and end with “Well F&*ck you then B*^tch!” When you have a fine lady, other dudes (and women) are gonna try to pull her, it comes with the territory. It’s really up to her to squash their advances. If she has to involve you, the line has already been crossed. Even then, I will explain to the offender how his behavior was disrespectful and ask him to apologize so we can keep it moving. How we proceed from that point is contingent upon his response. Personally, I’m at the stage in life where I don’t get angry over foolishness. I will apologize to a coward if it means me getting home to my kids without incident. Most grown men realize that they are not the only gorilla in the jungle and they treat each other with mutual respect. They have learned long ago the possible ramifications of disrespecting strangers.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:48 am
Dreams, 2C you know everyone is all bad when they got back up (LOL)
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
10:49 am
Would it bother you if someone defended your honor?
No it wouldn’t as it’s happened several times in the past. Each situation was different but never escalated to physical violence.
Is it best to let men defend themselves?
Against another man yes I would let him defend himself…and actually it’s not a matter of if I’ll let defend himself…he better knuckle up and do what he has to do regardless. Now if it was a chick, I’ve done it and I’d do it again if need be. There are ways to go about it without making a scene and thankfully the times I’ve done it, it worked out like that.
Sidenote: I took a kickboxing class last night and today I feel fan-freakin-tastic!!
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
10:49 am
Hey DM! All is well here….just living the dream one day at a time.
How’s the princess? And how are you (other than busy!)?
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 10th, 2013
10:50 am
should’ve been *let him defend himself*
2CPTG
January 10th, 2013
10:51 am
Dreams, what’s up bruh? Still hustlin, and grindin’ in thee parts….
but yeah, any “square” can come off like a gorilla in the right setting, but put him amongst other beasts, and we’ll see what he’s made of…..granted, I don’t advocate violence, but to me, if you’re disrespecting my date, then you’re disrespecting me; cause you’re acting like I’m invisible…..and we sho’ can’t have that!!!!
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
10:52 am
ITL, Home depot, what appreciation supplies they sell??
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
10:53 am
This topic makes me think of “Everyday People” by Arrested Development:
“My day was going great and my soul was at ease
until a group of brothers started bugging out
drinking the 40 oz, going the nigga route
Disrespecting my black queen
holding their crotches and being obscene
At first I ignored them cause see I know their type
They got drunk and got guns and they wanna fight
and they see a young couple having a time that’s good
and their egos wanna test a brother’s manhood….”
Into the Light
January 10th, 2013
10:57 am
@Stamps: You know…..all kinds of little gadgets and gizmos and chain and fun stuff…..
MissMoni
January 10th, 2013
10:59 am
Leggs- That’s a classic example!
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
10:59 am
2C ~ not yet (unfortunately). Fever broke, having convos with the porcelain throne have ceased, but racking cough and congestion still lingers. I’m on the upswing (lol). Kind of you ask.
2C ~ your post at 10:51 is on point. Exactly, he’s disrespecting your date, and flicking you off too! Some jaws may be cracked. Act like a gorilla in an arena of mice, or act like a twit in an arena of hard bodied bouncers. Stand your ground no matter the size of your opponent. Remember, David wasn’t afraid of Goliath. Well he was, but even back then, never let them see you sweat (lol). I’m visualizing David hiding me a huge bolder wiping sweat trying to reload his slingshot. Ok, medicine still making me loopy.
Single & Happy
January 10th, 2013
11:01 am
ITL , which isle is that on? I like to get my chains from starship
or extreme restraints (lmao)
Courtside Seats!!! Caught on the Kiss Cam :)
January 10th, 2013
11:01 am
“I might have to break up with him and holler at the other dude. lol.”
Damn….talking about having a bad day…… You paid for a high dollar dinner, then got knocked out by Peanut cause he said something sidways to Chica, and to top if off, she saw that your hand game was suspect and she ran off with with him…….
Leggs
January 10th, 2013
11:03 am
Not hiding “me,” hiding “behind” a huge bolder…