Dating: Have a bad reputation?
I was hanging out solo at RuSan’s eating sushi when a group of gentleman sat at the next booth. I noticed one of the guys as a former coworker, Eric. We spent a few minutes catching up… and semi-flirting.
I couldn’t resist. Eric is extra, extra fine but he is also a well-known “playa” who has acquired quite a bad reputation as a heart breaker. Eric asked me to introduce him to one of my single friends. He could tell by the look of horror on my face that I was apprehensive. Why would I knowingly set up my girls for failure and disappointment?
Eric claimed that he is older and handles his dating relationships with more maturity. That’s great to hear, but what about all the grimy, no good, shady things he did in Atlanta alone!?
Trust me – Atlanta is not that big – people talk, ladies talk – and eventually your reputation precedes you. Not in the good way. If you have committed past romantic crimes, you have to understand when folks won’t take you seriously. Is that fair? Maybe not.
Have you ever had to do damage control for your bad reputation? Do you think it is good to call people up and apologize? Is there anything you can do to redeem yourself?
What would you do if you found out that the person you are dating has a really dreadful dating reputation? Would you treat them differently? Proceed with caution? Dump them to avoid being the next victim? What if they told you they had changed? Would you believe them?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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289 comments Add your comment
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
4:48 pm
you’re more worried about what others
more worried?
who said im more worried about other folks…more?
u focusing on a miniscule thing……im not worried about who
im more worried about that she dont have to mess up
disco
January 9th, 2013
4:50 pm
Ex – I hate to say it but it sounds like you are the one that doesn’t get it. you can teach your children, show your children, tell your children. thing is those children are still individuals and they are going to make their own choices, some good, some bad. if your child goes against your teaching it is not a reflection of you as a parent. sensible parents know this.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
4:50 pm
Ex focusing on your words, you said outsiders, no one else did. You put it all on the mother, no one else did.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
4:51 pm
I got your agreement, Celisea. Tks.
Ex has his ways, which seem extreme to me, but it’s his house and his child. I’m thankful that I don’t know of any parent that will kick their child to the curb because they got pregnant earlier than what the parent deemed an appropriate time. Also, I don’t think a young person who gets pregnant immediately thinks the parents did wrong. You really can’t mess with nature, especially when you don’t have any tools to help you navigate through the strange emotions of boy meets girl. Please, you can be the best parent and the child still gets pregnant.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
4:52 pm
disco – I hate to say it but it sounds like you are the one that doesn’t get it. you can teach your children, show your children, tell your children. thing is those children are still individuals and they are going to make their own choices, some good, some bad. if your child goes against your teaching it is not a reflection of you as a parent. sensible parents know this
You get the post of the day. If you’ve instilled anything good in them, for all the mistakes they’re going to make (yes going to make), hopefully they can revert back to their teachings for finding their way.
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
4:52 pm
BTW ..”there ain’t too much difference in Pappadeaux’s fish versus Church’s two piece snack” Thats some skaright bullshiznit. I ain’t never dropped over a hundred at the drive thru in Churches. It is a big difference between the two dinining experiences. Just for the record.
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
4:52 pm
goes against your teaching it is not a reflection of you as a parent
@Disco..
as long as its not that kinda of mistake Disco….any mistake where she needs me to lift her up like that or have to go to another family member ,desperate, coz she didnt listen..thats on me…
im very sensible.
Bluzgirl
January 9th, 2013
4:53 pm
I’m with ITL – I don’t understand why it is bad to help this girl out. Family is family…
My brother moved in with me 2 weeks ago and is staying for no more than 6 months. He got in a bad financial place and had to let his house go. He’s staying with me so that he can pay off some things and save up to move to another city…Not like I wanted a roommate, but he’s my brother…he needed a place to stay. And…he is paying me what I’ve asked for rent…
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
4:53 pm
I would never ever belittle or put my kid down for her mistakes. If I don’t help her, who will? I would take issue with someone that did…but that’s on them. And helping DOES NOT mean doing it for her. It means still guiding and being there to support her.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
4:55 pm
there ain’t too much difference in Pappadeaux’s fish versus Church’s two piece snack” Thats some skaright bullshiznit. I ain’t never dropped over a hundred at the drive thru in Churches. It is a big difference between the two dinining experiences. Just for the record
Runner-up to post of the day…I just burst out laughing
Night folks.
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
4:55 pm
you said outsiders
u said care “more”
@Single
i did not
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
4:55 pm
Wow where’s all this wind and smoke coming from?…
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
4:56 pm
Thats why i said the mother should help her,not Dushawn…
uall remember that?
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
4:56 pm
I just burst out laughing
Cosign…
Peace
disco
January 9th, 2013
4:56 pm
ex – so we’ll un-impregnate your daughter. what if she makes the mistake of getting strung out? you know it was just one little joint and then someone said let’s lace the joint with coke and next thing you know she’s basing. can you help your daughter through that mistake? or let’s say she goes vigilante and decides to go on a crime spree. just robbing all the 7-11s. can you support her through that mistake? I’m just trying to gauge your limitations. see if you just have pregnancy hang-ups.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
4:57 pm
who best @Leggs,but me to give those puberty and other life lessons”"
Ex, you can’t give puberty lessons. It’s the loins coming awake. You can only guide them to the ramifications of their actions, but you can’t stop the awaken.
No, you didn’t fail. Your failure is believing you can actually stop it and control it.
Bluzgirl
January 9th, 2013
4:57 pm
I gotta run ya’ll…have a good night! <3
abc
January 9th, 2013
4:58 pm
Somewhat unsolicited advice: DuShawn, with my own kids, I found that the only approach that would work was to walk them to the end of the pier and push them in. My goal in that, of course, was that they be completely self sufficient as soon as possible — Pops isn’t going to be around forever, and I told them it would give me peace of mind to know they’ll be able to provide for themselves. So it seems with your niece: unwed, pregnant, no father in sight — how is that going to work out, how does that scale? Certainly (to me) the road to getting there doesn’t really start with being completely provided for by relatives.
But, there’s a baby involved. That makes it tough. Me, I’d tell her that she had to get a job, get her own place, at least start to provide for herself and child, but keep close tabs and ensure they don’t go without essentials. The child is, of course, strictly her responsibility, in my view. Chances are probably pretty good that absent father in jail won’t come through with much. I’d probably take her in with a time limit in that regard, and regret the strain it’d put on my household with all the stress and tension it’d bring.
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
4:59 pm
Your failure is believing you can actually stop it and control it.
thats a pemmisive mindset i refuse to have.
I cant stop..i want to influence so it does not happen….big difference
Influence is my parenting style,not dictatorship
@Leggs
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:00 pm
My head hurts (LOL)
abc
January 9th, 2013
5:02 pm
Thing about kids is, until you’ve had your own and raised them, you don’t really know what it is. And, until they’ve gone all the way through teen years, you still don’t know. They finally become human again around 25 or so.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:03 pm
awakening…
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:04 pm
Oh well, Ex. All I can say is you missed the point.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:06 pm
Here leggs, have an aspirin (LOL)
disco
January 9th, 2013
5:09 pm
here leggs. have a shot of jack daniels.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:09 pm
Exactly, abc. They turn into pod people, only to return to human form around the age of 25.
Single, many heads are hurting right now (lol).
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:11 pm
Leggs you got anything stronger (LOL)
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:11 pm
turn to humans at 25, hmm just like we did (LOL)
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:12 pm
disco, not after taking the aspirin (lol).
WHEW. Glad I’m not the only one…
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
5:13 pm
Wow where’s all this wind and smoke coming from?…
Baby SuisseMochette tooted.
She IS just like her daddy!!!!!! (Blog love you, Swissykins!)
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:13 pm
I have a skinny cig…J/K
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:14 pm
WHEW. Glad I’m not the only one… ROTFLMAO
I’ve been thinking it was just me
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
5:14 pm
LOL@Leggs. Do you remember those Capri cigarettes? I can remember smoking one of those and thinking I was all kinda bad! That thing was skinnier than a candy cigarette!
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
5:15 pm
Okay, I’m off to play in traffic. Y’all be sweet. xoxoxoxo
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:16 pm
Is there baby dust swirling in the wind??
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:18 pm
ITL, that is funny, skinnier than a candy cigarette. Capri’s were teeny!
Single
Sometimes you try to jump off, but too many jagged rocks beneath you. You tried to ride it out only to wind up with a headache and stomach ache.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:21 pm
Leggs, maybe it’s better to type to the blog wall (LOL)
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
5:23 pm
Possibly, because that was a hard head not willing to take in more info.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
5:31 pm