Dating: Have a bad reputation?
I was hanging out solo at RuSan’s eating sushi when a group of gentleman sat at the next booth. I noticed one of the guys as a former coworker, Eric. We spent a few minutes catching up… and semi-flirting.
I couldn’t resist. Eric is extra, extra fine but he is also a well-known “playa” who has acquired quite a bad reputation as a heart breaker. Eric asked me to introduce him to one of my single friends. He could tell by the look of horror on my face that I was apprehensive. Why would I knowingly set up my girls for failure and disappointment?
Eric claimed that he is older and handles his dating relationships with more maturity. That’s great to hear, but what about all the grimy, no good, shady things he did in Atlanta alone!?
Trust me – Atlanta is not that big – people talk, ladies talk – and eventually your reputation precedes you. Not in the good way. If you have committed past romantic crimes, you have to understand when folks won’t take you seriously. Is that fair? Maybe not.
Have you ever had to do damage control for your bad reputation? Do you think it is good to call people up and apologize? Is there anything you can do to redeem yourself?
What would you do if you found out that the person you are dating has a really dreadful dating reputation? Would you treat them differently? Proceed with caution? Dump them to avoid being the next victim? What if they told you they had changed? Would you believe them?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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289 comments Add your comment
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
2:48 pm
That’s great, Bluz!
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:48 pm
Leggs – Never heard of it but not doubting what others are saying
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:49 pm
Meello – Bummer
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
2:52 pm
whatever can be a clean garage, a painted guestroom. you name it.
@Disco..leave it to disco to lay it on the real..
U absolutely right..
daddy swiss
January 9th, 2013
2:52 pm
Thanks, everybody!
The little one is doing great. She looks just like daddy & she’s an eating & pooping machine like her daddy, too. Lol
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
3:00 pm
ITL…thats a thought..thnx!
Cel…so when exactly did u see Jesus!
U got a story to tell on that….when did it hit u to try and be on the Jesus’ tip fo real fo real.
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
3:01 pm
-……. “smash” negotiations never stop.- Current economic trends have caused the price of puddy to plummet. The supply far exceeds the demand. Consequently, what was once priceless is now dayum near valueless. Nowadays, you can get some good, reliable puddy for the low low. It may have high milage, but sh*&t…just change the oil, wash and wax her up and keep her clean on the inside and she will ride out. Fellas, the days of taking them to Pappadeaux are long gone. You can achieve the same results with a Churches two piece and a biscuit. If you throw in a pepper and a cherry soda…….you really getting served. Ladies know your worth.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:02 pm
Mmeello – Not sure I understand your question at 3:00
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:08 pm
Mmeello – Your question reads sort of “snarky” but it’s all good. I’ll try and answer.
I was raised “seeing Jesus”…wasn’t perfect but it’s always been my foundation and the brakes for me in many many situations.
While church and Christians ain’t a fav for many, glad it was instilled and ingrained. I know for me, it’s been my salvation time and time again. Keeps a degree of levelheadedness. Like I said, I didn’t say perfect, error free or didn’t make mistakes or bad decisions. But I ain’t spent my life being Willielumplump time and time again. I’ve had close calls and teetered on should I, should I not…but it’s been the thing to pull me through. And really, that’s all that really counts.
MsAtl
January 9th, 2013
3:10 pm
DuShawn- you got it right. You said “puddy” can be gotten for the low, low, but you said “Ladies” know your worth. Glad you recognize the difference between puddy and ladies. Reminds me of the comedian who said throw a burger down her throat. Was that Andrew Dice Clay?
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
3:11 pm
WOW, puddy is now valueless. That’s crazy, DuShawn! Too many are still jumping to hoops trying to get a sniff, let alone to actually get in. It will never, ever be valueless.
Fellas, the days of taking them to Pappadeaux are long gone. You can achieve the same results with a Churches two piece and a biscuit. = You’re lying down with a chickenhead who knows her worth and apparently you’re going after the easy target cuz you don’t want to work harder for the more lofty prize! Go for it.
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
3:11 pm
Du – you crack me up!!! You sound like a blog alumnus who used to talk about “she has to be REALLY good to get cheese on her extra value meal.”
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
3:12 pm
Celisea…when ..do u have a particular day,year, when u decided to follow the word…
some christian foks will have a day,date etc…..like they see a flash from above or something….
what was it for u….?
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:12 pm
Random: So I know I mentioned a pet peeve the other day. When co-workers spit on pages off the printer (lick their fingers, spit, same thing to me). So I go to get something off the printer and old girl (same one from before) is standing there, in bare feet no less, getting pages off the printer and she licks her fingers to separate them. As I’m approaching I start shaking my head. She says “I know, I licked my fingers again”. (last time she did it I called her out for spitting on my pages). I told her I was shaking my head at her bare feet. Y’all don’t understand that it’s not easy being me. I deserve some kind of nasty co-worker hazard pay.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
3:13 pm
Like your spin too, MsAtl. “Ladies” know “THEIR” worth…
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
3:15 pm
my bad i didnt see u ealier response
@Cel
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
3:16 pm
“It will never, ever be valueless”…….That depends on the appraiser
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:16 pm
D – don’t forget the coochie exchange isn’t always monetary. plenty of chicks give it up for labor. what? you lay tile? put down hardwoods? you can rebuild an engine? all that right there is coochie collateral. lol.
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
3:17 pm
@disco: Have mercy.
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
3:18 pm
co-sign on Du’s 3:16. Beauty (and puddy value) are in the eye of the beerholder. Errr, I mean beholder.
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
3:19 pm
Disco – I just can’t get with the bare feet anywhere out in public, unless you are at the pool or the beach. At work it’s completely inappropriate no matter the dress code!
And I am so with you on the licking fingers! Yuck all day!! Back when we had our office Thanksgiving, I was waiting behind this chick to get a piece of pie. How about she licked her fingers as she was cutting the pie! No thanks!!
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:19 pm
ITL – mercy for what? that’s the truth right there. lol.
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:23 pm
kimmie – I’m glad someone agrees that bare feet are totally inappropriate for work. it was such a problem at my last job and I fussed and complained about it so much that they eventually had staff meetings and asked folks not to do it. you know everyone in the meeting was looking at me. whatever. put y’all’s danged shoes on!!! up in here there’s just the one chick and you can’t tell her nothing.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
3:23 pm
Doesn’t matter, DuShawn. It will be appraised. Either high or low. You can buy or not.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:27 pm
MMeello – I was raised in it but I do have a day where I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. That though, is personal
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:27 pm
all that right there is coochie collateral.
Thank you. Dudes kick that sh..it like it only concerns actual dollar bills exchanging hands or being spent but it has so many different shades. If a man isn’t spending his money you best believe he’s doing it in other intangible, monetarily immeasurable ways…like laying that tile, putting down the hardwoods(umm yeah that can mean more than one thing) AND rebuild the engine.
Fellas, the days of taking them to Pappadeaux are long gone.
Pappadeaux?!…GTFOH
That ain’t no big isht…chile puhleaze….
Congrats on the little Princess Swiss!!!
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
3:27 pm
Disco – Do you watch Fashion Police? I love that show, though alot of times I don’t agree with stuff they think looks good.
MsAtl
January 9th, 2013
3:28 pm
Disco – That’s nasty! I can’t stand the finger licking to separate papers. I also see baggers doing it at the grocery store. No thanks, I will bag my own groceries.
Kimmie- Double YUCK!!! Chick licked her fingers while cutting pie? I won’t eat the cake here at our celebrations depending on who is cutting. I saw someone cut cake, swipe their fingers down the knife, deep throat their fingers, and go back to serving. Really?
Swiss- Congratulations!!! Enjoy the experience.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:32 pm
Pappadeaux?!…GTFOH That ain’t no big isht…chile puhleaze….
LOLOLOL…I didn’t even touch this cause if he dropped this statement like that validates being a “big spenda”, tsk tsk tsk! Really, there ain’t too much difference in Pappadeaux’s fish versus Church’s two piece snack…roll on then big spenda….LOLOLOLOL
I did sniggle at it though.
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:32 pm
kimmie – no. don’t watch fashion police. have never seen it. I did use to watch what not to wear. don’t know if it’s the same type show or not.
ms atl – no you didn’t say deep throat the fingers. that’s too much right there. and those same people will act like you slapped them if you call them on their nasty.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:33 pm
I was saying I didn’t touch that 3:01…it was funny though
Heeeey big spendaaaaa
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:34 pm
he dropped this statement like that validates being a “big spenda”, tsk tsk tsk!
I know right?!
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:34 pm
Sassy – Girrrrrrrrrrrrrl
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:39 pm
hold up y’all. let’s not be so hard on the big spender. we are always fair and recognize that most things are relative. there are countless chicks out there that would be at home on the phone after dinner talking about “oooh girl. first he took me to pappadeux and then we did it in the back of his truck and girl he even gave me $20 to pay the babysitter”.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:40 pm
I will agree though with “Ladies know your worth.” That’s why the scale has a range. Top, middle, bottom. Sit where you register. If that’s the top end, take your rightful place
Only you know your worth, not what someone dictates. That in and of itself should gauge the wills and wonts of your interactions, with no apologies offered 
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
3:40 pm
Disco – Check it out, it comes on E! Crazy behind Joan Rivers hosts it, and she has a panel and a guest judge on there weekly. They comment on celebrity fashion for the week, and have a special for the Grammy’s, Golden Globes, Oscars, NY Fashion Week and any other big fashion even. They pick the best and the worst each week and make jokes about most of it. They have this funny segment called B–tch Stole My Look!, where they find a celebrity that wore something another celebrity wore and rate who wore it better.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
3:41 pm
disco – And that goes back to him saying know your worth. Of course not how he meant it though. If it’s a 2 piece snack, then so be it….lolololol
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
3:41 pm
On another note, I got a 21 year old niece (brother-in-laws daughter) that is seven months pregnant. She and her mom had an altercation and she told her she has to leave. The young father is locked up. My wife asked if she could come live with us for a while. I haven’t spoken to Bruh-n-law, but knowing him, he is not in a position to help her. She lived with us for about 6 months, a couple of years ago. She helped out a lot and I wish only the best for her. She’s a fine little girl, so every little boy in the development would be lurking in front of my house when I got home from work. My girls love their cousin to death. I’m concerned that she may be a bad influence. When she was there previously, I noticed a change in the way my girls spoke. They begin to the think Ebonics was cool. My kids don’t say “fittna” or any of that other foolishness. I’m reluctant to let them think that it is acceptable in the DuShawn household to have a child without the natural progression of events (i.e. Graduate Degree, husband, out of my house). My youngest is lobbying hard on her behalf. Won’t even give me a hug until I say her cousin can stay. She said “Daddy, family is supposed to help family”……From the mouths of babes. Any thoughts?
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
3:46 pm
In the words Trick Daddy. Some of yall got puddy like wet dope……won’t sell no where!
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
3:47 pm
yall funny!
got u Celi!
Swiss..no Nyquil for the baby to induce her sleep..ok my bro..its too early for that!
I think dudes will do anything for pudy.monetarily as in cash or otherswise..when a dudes zeroes in on a chic and her pudy,no stone is left unturned.
the mimnimum offer ofcourse is always a drank and a dance in da club…..thats a universal minimum since cabbage and go go and house music.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:47 pm
there are countless chicks out there that would be at home on the phone after dinner talking about “oooh girl. first he took me to pappadeux and then we did it in the back of his truck and girl he even gave me $20 to pay the babysitter”.
That’s so true so per Celi’s 3:40…top, middle or bottom makes perfect sense.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:49 pm
You must be out there trickin to know such a thing…IJS
disco
January 9th, 2013
3:49 pm
D – really? really? i expected more from you. I understand your dilemma I do but I’m siding with your baby. fam is fam and if you don’t have any particular beef with your niece then the fact that she’s unwed and pregnant should be neither here nor there. sure your kids are impressionable but you and your wife are there to adjust their impressions. shoot, your niece knows her situation. she can probably make her situation much more real to your children than all y’all parent/child talks ever can. I say give her a deadline (can’t have her and her baby in there indefinitely) and give it a go.
MsAtl
January 9th, 2013
3:50 pm
DuShawn- You have likely taught your little girl that family is supposed to help family. I understand your not wanting them to have a bad influence around, but you have to trust what you have taught them and the way you are raising them. As for the ebonics, I am right there with you. It irks my nerves. Just correct them when you hear them speaking any way other than what you are teaching them. Although you are teaching them that they should go to school, get married, have kids, etc., your niece’s situation can be a teaching opportunity also. Your kids know what you expect and what you will accept. If you do agree to let her stay, just set limits (including time limits). Good luck.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
3:50 pm
he dropped this statement like that validates being a “big spenda”, tsk tsk tsk!
I immediately thought of AmazonRed and her sentiment toward P.F.Changs!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:50 pm
get better boo boo…
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
3:51 pm
Dushawn – We had that issue when we let a young teen mom relative stay. It was a bad influence. I had to constantly preach to my young, impressionable 7 year old daughter at the time that that was not the way you do things. It was only a few months but it had an effect. I think my preaching has taken hold though, and my now 10 year old has higher aspirations. And while no Ebonics, whenever she goes to visit with certain cousins, I have to break her from the “stank” attitude she brings back. Good luck.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
3:52 pm
Some of yall got puddy like wet dope……won’t sell no where! – Hot diggity dog, well I’ll be damned!!!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 9th, 2013
3:52 pm
I immediately thought of AmazonRed and her sentiment toward P.F.Changs!
I did as well Leggs…she has mUch disdain for the place. I guess what’s top billing to some is run of the mill to others and vice versa…
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
3:54 pm
your niece’s situation can be a teaching opportunity also.
MsAtl – Absolutely. I used our relative as such. It really has made a difference too. My daughter sees that babies are not just cute, but a big responsibility.