Dating: Have a bad reputation?
I was hanging out solo at RuSan’s eating sushi when a group of gentleman sat at the next booth. I noticed one of the guys as a former coworker, Eric. We spent a few minutes catching up… and semi-flirting.
I couldn’t resist. Eric is extra, extra fine but he is also a well-known “playa” who has acquired quite a bad reputation as a heart breaker. Eric asked me to introduce him to one of my single friends. He could tell by the look of horror on my face that I was apprehensive. Why would I knowingly set up my girls for failure and disappointment?
Eric claimed that he is older and handles his dating relationships with more maturity. That’s great to hear, but what about all the grimy, no good, shady things he did in Atlanta alone!?
Trust me – Atlanta is not that big – people talk, ladies talk – and eventually your reputation precedes you. Not in the good way. If you have committed past romantic crimes, you have to understand when folks won’t take you seriously. Is that fair? Maybe not.
Have you ever had to do damage control for your bad reputation? Do you think it is good to call people up and apologize? Is there anything you can do to redeem yourself?
What would you do if you found out that the person you are dating has a really dreadful dating reputation? Would you treat them differently? Proceed with caution? Dump them to avoid being the next victim? What if they told you they had changed? Would you believe them?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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289 comments Add your comment
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
1:24 pm
I’m not a play i just fcuk alot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRBHlMoE7×8
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
1:25 pm
I could feel my dude getting a little frustrated but my guess is that he felt I was worth the time and effort.
Cel – LOL!! I cracked up when I read that, cause I KNOW my hubs was getting that way with me when we were dating!!
Willie Dynamite
January 9th, 2013
1:28 pm
I can only imagine how hard it is for chicks out here. Women for the most part are emotional creatures. The sad part is every dude from the busta to the playa to the good guy knows this. So while some may call it manipulation even the good guys have to navigate somehow. While I don’t cut these dudes no slack I’m also not so naive to believe it’s so lily white out here. It’s a fine line between most of us and that line gets blurred all too often.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
1:28 pm
They were beautiful and drove nice cars, they had to smart!!
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
1:30 pm
Bluz ~ after losing contact for those 6-7 years, what did you guys talk about that made you think he changed his ways, or did you guys even talk about this past and how he’s changed for a better future making him relationship worthy??
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
1:33 pm
UGGH, went to get an icee and lil leggs ate most of them leaving the flavor of cotton candy in the box. Kids are so dang greedy. Those pops were to help soothe my sore throat (lol).
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
1:36 pm
Single – Or the guys they dealt with are dumb! Those dudes that fall for a pretty face and will buy one anything she wants!
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
1:39 pm
Opps kimmie is was supposed to be (LOL) behind that
being my usual SA self (LOL)
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
1:41 pm
Then she’s the plya, kimmie, if she’s getting them to buy her things, pay her rent, etc. They’re playing each other. Like disco likes to say, nothing wrong w the barter system.
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
1:44 pm
Single – I gotcha!
Leggs – Yep, they are playing each other!! I happen to prefer it that way, actually. Folks always beating up on the women, calling them dumb. The dudes are just as dumb, if they go along with that mess. Doesn’t sound like anyone is getting hurt in that instance!
Exiled!
January 9th, 2013
1:46 pm
My guess is,some women being so vane,dude used cars as pudy leverage.
Or helped chics acquire cars at his dealership and possibly wld ask them to refer their friends and it was a vicious circle. So there may have been this connection and ‘loyalty’ to him coz of how he ‘helped’ them.
And Chics luv cars,whether theirs or their potential guy’s ,it don’t matter.
And he used that,supposedly to the bank,I mean hole.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
1:48 pm
I thought the girls were driving up in nice cars? If dude is buying a car as puddy leverage, then he’s the joke!
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
1:50 pm
“And Chics luv cars,whether theirs or their potential guy’s ,it don’t matter.” – sounds like someone in their 20’s.
Willie Dynamite
January 9th, 2013
1:51 pm
Same thang same thang.
That’s why I say it’s very rare that the truly innocent get taken advantage of.
Exiled!
January 9th, 2013
1:55 pm
anybody know somebody,outta work and laid off and is eager to learn new stuff,technology wise.
Holla at ur boy,takpat78@gmail.com
I can hook u up with this program’s website.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
1:59 pm
Leggs are you saying I should be asking “21 question”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDMhlvbOFaM
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
2:03 pm
Could you love me in a Bentley, could you love me on a bus, I’ll ask 21 questions and they all about us! (LOL)
Exiled!
January 9th, 2013
2:04 pm
@Leggs?
on their 20s?
Even 40+ chics get laid for car deals.
I know this chic,must be 45 about now..I remember her being so mad coz her Chevy Blazer had a problem and she went to a dealership and got a deal for another one.
Her credit was so bad….her words..,but car dealer owner was gonna do her a deal……but it turned out,the deal she got was a lemon. She got another chevy blazer coz she said she lved chevvies so bad.
Why was she so mad u ask Meelo?
Dude had smashed in the process of negotiating her a deal ….she was desperate she told me.
(now don’t ask me how I know this story)
But…I really laughed at how she told me and how she was so maad that she was taken(not in her face ofcourse)
So…this was 5/6 years ago tho.
Car folks (dealers,techs) got a lot of sh;;$&t going on.
And they get pudy for that!
No lie!
SlimNu - More of me, less of you
January 9th, 2013
2:05 pm
Leggs – mail call
Bluzgirl
January 9th, 2013
2:06 pm
Leggs – We did discuss the past and he swore he was a different person. He did show me during the first year, but then I guess he slipped back into his old ways. I still feel like I was duped…
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:07 pm
Just my unscientific observation, but like usually ends up with like, not opposite. Smart folks I know usually end up with other smart folks and vice-versa. My hubs has said the same. He has known plenty smart guys that dated and hung out with the pretty, air-head types but ultimately married smart women, often the whole pretty & smart package. Quality seems to attract quality. They are usually the “power couples”.
DuShawn
January 9th, 2013
2:08 pm
Speaking of old playas, reminds me one my closest potanhs. He’s a few years younger than me. While he was in college, I would hire him during the summers as my intern. When he graduated, I hired him permanently. He brought his college love back home with him and they married shortly thereafter. I counseled him prior to the wedding, and begged him not to get married so soon. I told him “Dog, this is your rookie year, your first year in the league bruh. Explore and enjoy.” He married her anyway. Sweet girl, I had nothing against her. They stayed married for 18 years. Along the way they had two kids, six figure incomes, wife got a PHd, Dog became assistant county manager……..then got divorced in 2012. Now we are in our 40’s and my dog want to be a playa. A few months ago he met me and wifey at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. He had three women to meet him there. One could not stop staring at him. I’m like dayum…she gone. He went on to tell me about his life now and his new bachelor spot and the fine chicks he has in rotation. I had laugh and told him his life cycle is in reverse. The sh*&t you doing now should’ve been done in your twenties, and what you did in your twenties, you should be doing now. But hey…..everybody has their own journey.
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:11 pm
Car folks (dealers,techs) got a lot of sh;;$&t going on.
Exiled – Now you’re not lying about that. The folks on the financing side of it have a lot going on too! I’ve seen folks arrested for having big “rings” & scams going on, working together with the car dealers! Yep, puddy is involved!!
Bluzgirl
January 9th, 2013
2:11 pm
Leggs – Also…I was very vulnerable and very weak. I wanted so badly for him (maybe anyone?) to love me at that time in my life. I think that if I was the person 3 years ago that I am now, I would have never gotten into that relationship.
Single and Happy ROLL TIDE #1
January 9th, 2013
2:13 pm
Kimmie pretty and airhead is great……………………………………………..then they decide they want to have a conversation, and that just ruins the relationship (LOL) But for some it works, look at RHOA (lmao) and it works both ways
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
2:14 pm
……and speaking of car dealers, why do they always try to flirt???? A. You’re not as handsome as you think you are and B. I ain’t interested any-dangway.
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
2:15 pm
Hey Ex…..guess what I’m drinking right now?!?!?!??!?!?!
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:18 pm
Well, I have a new car and good thing I looked like a raggamuffin when I purchased
I’m thinking “just wow” to Meello’s post. I haven’t heard of any women smashing to get a car. IMO, that’s the old banana in the tailpipe for him. Cause if she smashed that easily for a favors, I’m sure that’s not the only favor. So, for her sounds like a win win. She gave up the old run of the mill goods for a car that’s probably got more than than her cooch.
Seems like HE got played.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:19 pm
Banana in the tail pipe for him…THE CAR SALESMAN. I bet it’s just her profession and what she does to get by. Smells like the okie doke to me. Just not on her end.
Exiled!
January 9th, 2013
2:19 pm
ITL.Hey,.I know and I’m jealous!
my coffee maker at home broke and Queen promises to pass by Wally and get another but for procrastination….
Shykkes
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:21 pm
Single – Pretty & airhead deciding to have a “conversation” – isn’t that an oxymoron??LOL!!
Something “works” for everyone, whether its for a season or a lifetime. Dumb never worked for me, I can’t get with a man I don’t respect or have to “wear the pants” with, but for some that works.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:21 pm
Matter of fact…in defense of women getting a bad rap, I did all my stuff online before meeting the salesman. I only went out there to sign on the dotted line and pick up
Woo hoo, holding up the good girl banner…REPRESENTING!!
lololol
disco
January 9th, 2013
2:23 pm
S/H – why you gotta bring up my rapper crush? you know I loves me some fiddy cent. lol.
ITL – I just mentioned last week that one of the dealers at my dealership is foine. the man is some kind of special even if he is a little on the thin side.
C – would I smash for a car. I sure won’t say that I won’t. I will say that it most def depends on the car. lol.
daddy swiss
January 9th, 2013
2:24 pm
What’s up, good people (and baaaaaaad m__f__ers, too)!
Just popping in to say hi. Leave it to the ajc to have a topic for which the operative word is forbidden by the stupid F___KING blog filter…
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
2:24 pm
Single ~ yeah buddy, someone needs to be asking 21 questions (lol).
Ex, I was somewhat being funny, but you’re right, gullibility doesn’t age discriminate.
Bluz ~ he didn’t slip back. It never left, you just didn’t want to see. But love your honesty. You wanted him, anyone! No disrespect, but hope you never feel that way again. What a foolish way to belittle yourself by taking up with someone just to be with someone! Heartache surely will always follow!!!
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:26 pm
disco – Just don’t go all out and smash for a Yugo.
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:27 pm
I haven’t heard of any women smashing to get a car.
Celisea – I’ve heard of plenty!! Money, cars, houses, rent & bills paid, you name it! Not the women that run in my circles, mind you, but plenty out there are doing it. Worlds oldest “profession”. A lot of dudes just won’t admit to subscribing to “buying” some smash, so they play it off like they are some bigtime baller!
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:29 pm
Hey Daddy Swiss!!!
How’s Lil SwissMochette?
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:29 pm
Kimmoe – A lot of dudes just won’t admit to subscribing to “buying” some smash, so they play it off like they are some bigtime baller!
On the flip side, yeah I can buy this.
Bluzgirl
January 9th, 2013
2:31 pm
Leggs – I can say with 100% certainty that I will never be that way again!!!!
Hey daddy swiss!!! Congrats!!!
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:33 pm
Don’t get me wrong, I know of the exchange cause my motto is coochie ain’t free or shouldn’t be. If you gonna give it away have enough sense to understand the dynamic of exchange. I just thought Mmeello’s post was a “just wow.” Personally though, I have never heard though of getting a car as a result of smashing.
disco
January 9th, 2013
2:34 pm
kimmie – I’m of the mindset that the “smash” negotiations never stop. grown men know this and grown women know this. now, this particular spade isn’t always called a spade but it is what it is. I’ve heard some chicks profess that they would never sell the goods. I’m like if you ever told your man/boyfriend/husband you weren’t giving him any until he did whatever then you just sold it for whatever. lol. whatever can be a clean garage, a painted guestroom. you name it.
kimmie
January 9th, 2013
2:38 pm
Disco –
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
2:40 pm
Hie Swisset’s Dad!
congrats buddy!
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
2:41 pm
Celisea ~ I know some that have “smashed” for a car. I know some that have smashed to keep their car.
I clearly remember being in my early 20’s when a good friend told me I should get whatever money I could get out of the guys that were liking me. Told me it’s an easy way to get my rent paid. She told me I was a fool, but I told her I was glad to be a fool and pay my own damn rent. Never sought to be a kept woman on any level.
daddyswiss ~ how’s the family. Isn’t it a beautiful thing!!! I said the same thing about the topic.
Leggs
January 9th, 2013
2:42 pm
disco ~ you keep it real, but you crack me up. I already knew you would say that (lolol).
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
2:43 pm
Hey Swissykins!!! How’s SuisseMochette Noelle?
Into the Light
January 9th, 2013
2:44 pm
@Ex: Maybe you should order one from Amazon. You can have it tomorrow!
Exiled
January 9th, 2013
2:46 pm
Cel…and this chic is a nurse, i hear they are paid decent..but she had bad credit..i guess atrocious.credit..three kids,one in high school(college now) and one outta the house…but the car issue compromised her somehow
and car issues are stressful even for a guy..i know.
Ima bout to rescuscitate my hupdeee i havent driven since 2008 just so we can have at least 3 cars..coz of the recent escapade.
Celisea
January 9th, 2013
2:46 pm
I will say this. The game as as “tipped” to a man’s favor as most assume. There are a bunch of “easy” dudes walking around when theyr boys ain’t looking. About 20 years ago I dated John Starks’ cousin off and on about 4 years, NEVER SMASHED and got all kinds of stuff and taken places, you name it. Sound incredible? It’s all true. Buddy was hankering for it too. I will say I leaned on “this ain’t no booty swap, buy at your own will” cause he was cocky and ALWYAS led with his wallet. I had a point to prove and I did it. DON’T JUDGE ME. He was so sure he would get like so man others thirsty chicks. He though became one hard dude to shake. He started showing up at my job and calling my desk. Oh and getting calls from chicks
He was a good guy overall, I will give him his props cause he better than the kid’s dad and made sure he checked up on me and stuff. But there was something there where I wasn’t physically attracted to him. I don’t know too anxious maybe. Too, I’d been on that road with the kid’s dad (at that point) and wasn’t gonna hit repeat. Laying up just to be laying up…nope