Having doubts?
Sometimes a new year bring can bring a new perspective about your relationship status. The time and effort that you have invested in someone helps you to figure out if you are compatible. What happens when you feel that isn’t happening, though? What do you do if you are having doubts about the person you are dating?
Should you bring it up to see if the other person is feeling the same way? Do you wait it out and hope that your doubts are unfounded?
I believe there are times that we overlook our doubts because we get all distracted. Typical things like attention, sex, and money can cause one to disregard doubts. Have you ever ignored your doubts and ended up regretting it later?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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148 comments Add your comment
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
3:29 pm
Most guys know that they can just go get laid if that’s what they want. That’s easy. By contrast, finding a woman that you actually want to commit to is like 1 in a million, very hard to find.
OR:
Most women know that they can just go get laid if that’s what they want. That’s easy. By contrast, finding a man that you actually want to commit to is like 1 in a million, very hard to find.
Bluzgirl
January 3rd, 2013
3:31 pm
abc – are you sure you’re not my ex?
Exiled!
January 3rd, 2013
3:36 pm
3:12 Kimmie?
I know,I was just being contrarian there to ur point but ’spice’ wears off.
I think.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
3:38 pm
Dushawn – I’m all about everyone doing what works for them, both of the parties involved. My thing is, don’t act surprised if what you’re selling I don’t want to buy. In my example with Jeff from the Bert Show, he was surprised he wasn’t getting any takers and putting down the women involved. When he needs to be looking for someone on the same page, in the market for what he’s selling. Heck, find another woman that’s recently divorced and focused on her job or some kind of goal she’s trying to focus on other than a relationship.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
3:41 pm
Exiled – I’m sure it does wear off, get old. Trying to chase that “thrill” constantly, never satisfied, dang I get tired just thinking about it!LOL!!!
Exiled!
January 3rd, 2013
3:42 pm
Du…I like ur choice of words… 3:29
That 3:29 has me laughing after reading just three lines
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
3:48 pm
Kimmie…”finding a man that you actually want to commit to is like 1 in a million, very hard to find.” You can’t honestly believe the playing fields are level. Men don’t have the societal pressures to be in a relationship nor do we have a biological clock that dictates when we should reproduce. Most women will commit to any dude that they like, with good credit, and a few coins in the bank. It’s not hard for a woman to find a man she actually wants to commit to……Its hard to find one that will ask her.
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
3:51 pm
abc ~ when I say A-hole, I’m saying he’s being that way to you. She doesn’t pull his strings making him do what he do, he does it cuz he wants to. In that regard, I’m referencing your “not matter what I did or didn’t do.” If she responds or reacts ok, it’s on her but you being an A-hole in the relationship is on you so you do have a hand in it!
Her reactions are her own, but you can’t overlook the mitigating circumstances.
DuShawn ~ in your example, still goes back to what I was “referring” to. old puddy, really old puddy meant she had low self-respect and would tolerate much of anything, same thing with the young chicken head in your example. Old puddy or new puddy that allows a man to come and go, do what he wants when he wants lacks self-respect!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
3:55 pm
Most women will commit to any dude that they like, with good credit, and a few coins in the bank.
Is that what happened to yoU Du? Do you really think MOST women are that desperate…granted there are BOTH men and women who’ll “settle” because of one reason or another…be it a societal or otherwise. Just because men don’t verbalize it…they too want the same things women want.
Just don’t over generalize us all…
Its hard to find one that will ask her.
I’m just calling B.S. on this one…
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
3:55 pm
Dushawn – I didn’t say the playing fields were level at all. I’m just saying both genders can say the same exact thing. It’s easy for most to find someone to have sex with. But whether you are doing the asking or waiting to be asked, finding The One, not just the one you settled for, can be difficult.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
3:57 pm
Old puddy or new puddy that allows a man to come and go, do what he wants when he wants lacks self-respect!
Leggs – Bears repeating!!!
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
3:57 pm
“……allows a man to come and go, do what he wants when he wants lacks self-respect!” Seriously Leggs!! There are so many things inherently disturbing about that comment, imma leave it alone. Well, I gotta say this……you allow children, not adults.
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
3:59 pm
DuShawn ~ forget the word “allow.” I didn’t put the statement out there, just repeating it! Nonetheless, don’t get hung on on the word “allow” and pay attention to the sentiment of the statement. You guys love to act like you have no idea what’s being said!
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:00 pm
What’s disturbing is….awww, nevermind.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:04 pm
You guys love to act like you have no idea what’s being said!
Plain and simple…
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:04 pm
ok, I did use the word “allow.” Nevertheless, allow, tolerate, accept, act deaf and dumt, turn the other cheek, sleep with one eye open one eye closed, whatever word you like….is the point I was making.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:08 pm
Leggs/Sassy – Folks kill me trying to twist words! You know exactly what point is being made!!LOL!!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:13 pm
Folks kill me trying to twist words!
Exactly Kimmie…talk about playing with semantics.
He’s just trying to redirect it but that’s not happening. Maybe on a slower more naive audience that might have some credence. 
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:15 pm
kimmie ~ what’s even funnier is when they actually believe they’ve talked so much and flipped the script so much that we actually forget what we originally started out saying. Men love twisting words and a conveyed thought just as much as women!!!!
disco
January 3rd, 2013
4:17 pm
D – have to beg to differ on that 3:48. unless you are a low level, bottom rung chick where almost everything/every man is a step up that statement is wrong like a mug.
Exiled!
January 3rd, 2013
4:18 pm
I don’t think it’s lack of self respect
It’s a change in societal standards
Men used to value virgins more..not anymore
Bootey clubs to entertain men…lack of self respect
The list goes on
Nowadays we have a litany of websites devoted to niche relationship/sex folks
Fwb
Just bootey
Match.com
Nothing serious.com
U name it
A young chic bootey shacking to pay for college…lack of self respect
Ummmmm
But I luv it!
When a woman puts on a mini that near revealing her nether is that lack of self respect!?
Bootey clubs…to entertaI
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
4:19 pm
Do you really think MOST women are that desperate -Sassy- No, of course I don’t believe all single women are desperate nor am I suggesting that people should settle. What I am proposing is that it is far easier for a man to find a woman whom is willing to commit than vice versa. Rarely will you hear a dude say he has been in a long term relationship, but she refuses to marry him. Women say it all the time. From Barbie dolls to bridal magazines, women are subliminally conditioned to be in love. It is not my intent to brush all women with the same stroke, but generally speaking this is true.
disco
January 3rd, 2013
4:25 pm
D – I’m with your 4:19. I disagreed with your earlier comment that it’s not hard for a woman to find a man she wants to commit to. as I typed that I had an adverse thought though. lol. some women want to commit to any man that they are with whether he’s worthy or not. in that instance I guess your statement is true. other women have the good sense to try to determine whether or not a man is worth committing to before deciding to be with him. in that case, your statement is not so true.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:25 pm
Exiled – Whether you call it lack of self-respect or different/changed societal standards. each person has to decide for themself what they call it. And if what they call it is acceptable in a mate. You like watching her show her stuff, but you wouldn’t wife her or want your daughter to emulate her. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view.
Just sayin, being a contrarian like you! LOL!!
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:27 pm
I don’t think it’s lack of self respect -
Ex, I beg to differ because whatever relationship you get into almost surely corresponds with your level of respect you have for yourself. Some can tolerate this type, some can tolerate that type, but what one accepts definitely correlates to who they are as a person, a “damaged” person or a “whole/self-assured/confident” person.
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:29 pm
Alrighty, kimmie!
disco
January 3rd, 2013
4:30 pm
dag. maybe I should have read ex’s post. I don’t deny that sometimes I just skip right over him. lol.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:32 pm
Dushawn – And actually, here is another play on words. ABC’s original comment, from what I gathered, said it’s easy to find a woman to sleep with, but not one you WANT to actually commit to. Meaning THE ONE, not just “I’m looking for a wife, she’s here, so she’ll do”. Shoot, even dudes in prison manage to find chicks willing to commit to them, but are these same chicks the one they would choose if they had their stuff together and could be more choosy.
Exiled!
January 3rd, 2013
4:32 pm
I don’t want u ladies to call me ‘Judgemental’ ever again coz u being hard on that young Du potnah lady. Lol
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:35 pm
What I am proposing is that it is far easier for a man to find a woman whom is willing to commit than vice versa. Rarely will you hear a dude say he has been in a long term relationship, but she refuses to marry him.
Once again Du..you’re making too general a statement with too broad a paint brush. Unless you can account for ALL men you can’t account for what “rarely” does and doesn’t happen.
It is not my intent to brush all women with the same stroke, but generally speaking this is true.
You’re contradicting yourself…still. Unless you’ve personally surveyed a large enough population of different women then how can you make that claim…it seems almost baseless. Now had you said that some of the women YOU come across have been living the fantasy then that “may” be a little more palatable.
From Barbie dolls to bridal magazines, women are subliminally conditioned to be in love.
And what are men “subliminally conditioned” to do?..are you serious?
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:38 pm
I don’t deny that sometimes I just skip right over him. lol.
Me,too…just ease right on by ‘em most times…
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
4:38 pm
Ex….I agree with u! Why all you blog ladies feel that my potnah’s female friend lacks self respect (one of yall even called her a chicken head) . All she did was clean the house, gave him some puddy and took his money…..Every wife I know does the same thing.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:39 pm
Sassy – I took abc’s original post to mean it’s hard to find QUALITY not QUANTITY. Du is stuck on the quantity part, thus his generalizations!!
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
4:40 pm
Sassy – Do me a favor……skip over my post too.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:42 pm
Will do…ever so fervently from here on out..
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
4:42 pm
When a man tells his potnah “that’s what she’s there for, for you to look at” and she continuously bends over pretending to dust under the table, or walk seductively in front of the friend watching him salivate, you damn skippy she’s lacking respect because she’s letting her “man” call the shots and let his potnah oogle her like the piece of meat he thinks she is. She’s only looking after the $$$!
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:43 pm
Du – Sounds like a prostitute that offers extra/add-on services.
If she’s a wife, she’s not taking HIS money, it’s THEIR money.
See, play on words!!
I know your potnah’s situation is probably a lot of men’s dream, but don’t fault us on the other side for not seeing it that way!!LOL!!
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:44 pm
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:45 pm
you damn skippy she’s lacking respect because she’s letting her “man” call the shots and let his potnah oogle her like the piece of meat he thinks she is.
Eeeasy Leggs…that just flew over a few heads just then..
disco
January 3rd, 2013
4:46 pm
D – let me point out that I didn’t comment on that situation. I ain’t mad at her. get yours is all I can say to that. she’s a step ahead of the chick that does it and doesn’t have the good sense to get the money. ijs.
kimmie
January 3rd, 2013
4:49 pm
It’s been fun gang, gotta run!!
DuShawn
January 3rd, 2013
4:51 pm
Some of yall got hand diarrhea…….can’t stop typing bull sh&*t. I can’t lie, I do enjoy reading yall, especially you Sassy. You now have my permission to continue to read me…just don’t respond
. If you talk as much as you type, I know your man keep a migraine. -Disco- you know what it is. Can’t knock her hustle.
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:51 pm
Peace out blog…read y’all tomorrow
Celisea....renewed and rejuvenated
January 3rd, 2013
4:55 pm
Just popped in before heading home….
On Dushawn and his tales…..
And while I don’t “dislike” Dushawn, I disagree with his attitude towards women in general and overall. Because he’s dabbled and dealt with women of a lower caliber over the years, it’s totally unfair to assume all women are dummies or easy or not worth much, etc. It seems there’s such a low low regard from him about women…overall
And really, a man that’s dabbled disrespectfully don’t get off scott free just because you’re the “man” in equation and according to society, in a jacked up man/woman situation, she being the ho is the one relagated to bottom status.
If you ain’t “experienced” with you, the you can’t qualify her as a ho…IJS
Night folks
Sassy Me...Feeling like New ;-)
January 3rd, 2013
4:55 pm
I do enjoy reading yall, especially you Sassy.
Cosign…you’re fun to read,too.
You now have my permission to continue to read me…just don’t respond
What if I do…Who gone check me boo?!
Okay now I’m out…
Celisea....renewed and rejuvenated
January 3rd, 2013
4:57 pm
If you ain’t “experienced” hoe-dom with all women, then you don’ get to quality the rest as hoes…is what I meant…annnnnd IJS
So, I will be, get and stay scarce cause I don’t do folks that can’t respect women.
Now…I’m out
abc
January 3rd, 2013
4:59 pm
Now, some chicks — lots of them, really — absolutely love being the object of male attention without regard for any notion of anything else. They just want it such that when they walk into a room, everyone looks at them and considers them the hottest thing there. It’s not unusual. I think they may put a little too much importance on it — it’s not as if a man will throw down whatever on account of it — but, if that’s what they want and like, so be it. They’re not much concerned with what a bunch of other chicks think about it, that’s for sure.
I knew a guy once that advertised for a maid with benefits. He got almost a hundred applicants, and that was down in middle GA. If that works for them, rock on.
Leggs
January 3rd, 2013
5:06 pm
“everyone looks at them and considers them the hottest thing there. It’s not unusual. I think they may put a little too much importance on it — it’s not as if a man will throw down whatever on account of it —”
Elliott Spitzer, married men now finding themselves divorced, Bill Clinton, etc. Hell if you can put the Presidency on the line, you’ll thrown down “whatever” on account of it – Real talk!!!!