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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for January, 2013

Waiting game is same as rejection?

My friend Bill has been seeing someone “special” for a couple of weeks. When I caught up with him yesterday, he mentioned that he was already having second thoughts about her. I asked why and he said she turned him down when he made a move.

The same guy who was just whining about not finding someone he liked during the holidays, has decided that he is unsure of someone because she wants to wait for sex. Listen, I know men are always going to want sex. I get it. I just don’t get how men claim to want someone special yet are so quick to bail when she isn’t ready to hop in bed when he does.

What is that about? I am not just asking as a woman who is completely annoyed. I asking as a dating blogger who needs solid answers: What is wrong with waiting? Why is asking for more time viewed as some form of rejection?

If your standard operating procedure with relationships is to hook up first, ask questions later (no judgement!), why can’t you pursue people who think the same?

I …

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Is this a bad time?

I think many failed romances are a result of bad timing. You can appear to be very compatible and show great potential, but if the timing is wrong, it all falls apart. We don’t always realize that it is the wrong time, though. I believe we get caught up in attraction and end up realizing it way too late that it’s the right person, wrong time.

This is especially true when someone is nursing a heartbreak, mourning the end of a long relationship or marriage. I think people need to just have fun and let dating be about the “palate cleansers” to clear the lingering bad taste you may have from the ex. Even when we feel ready, it’s not until things get hot and heavy with the rebound relationship that we can see how important timing is.

Have you ever met someone really great at a really bad time in your life? How did you handle it?

I think if we were more honest with people we date about where we are – emotionally, it could save a lot of heartache. When you let folks know what …

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Dating ADD? It’s a thing

As fun as dating in Atlanta can be, there is a certain part of it that can get frustrating. You know how it is when you start to feel like you are going through a constant stream of dates. You’re meeting people, making pseudo-connections only to find that the interest and pursuit fizzles out faster than you can say …Peachtree.

Although some folks admit to being afraid of commitment, there are others who can’t manage to focus on one great potential romance longer than two solid weeks. I like to call that dating attention deficit disorder. With so many “choices” and distractions (strip clubs?) in this city, is it any wonder we get stuck in a revolving door?

How do you manage drown out all the distractions and really focus on someone who is potentially a good match? Do you think online dating, a good nightlife, and many eligible singles makes it difficult to overcome Dating ADD?

If you think of the last time you met someone you felt a deep connection with, how did you decide …

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Stay away from my ex, dude

With so many people in this city, you would think that dating your friend’s ex would not happen often. Apparently, that whole birds of a feather can really backfire sometimes, no? A circle of friends will at some point have to face the dilemma of whether or not to pursue someone that has already dated a mutual friend.

What is the protocol, though? The older we get, shouldn’t we be able to be adult about this kind of thing? Would you really stand in the way of true love because you want to be territorial with your exes?

Do you believe that someone who has dated one of your close friends is off-limits to you? What would you do if a friend came to you and expressed an interest in someone you once married, dated, or hooked up with?

Should you ask for and get permission from your friend before you proceed?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Does Atlanta get a bad rap?

I was in Washington, DC to attend the Inauguration this past weekend. I had an interesting conversation with a few people at a party. Someone asked me where I lived and I proudly said Atlanta. Then that lead to a discussion about dating.

Someone actually felt bad for me because I was single in Atlanta! Like I got the “Aw, you poor thing expression” at least twice. Apparently, a single black woman in Atlanta can pretty much give up all hope of finding a man. Who KNEW?!

It did not take long for me to figure out where they were coming from: Between those dreadful Atlanta reality television shows, excessive number of strip clubs, and the “bachelor” married men, the dating scene in Atlanta gets a bad rap. Many people believe that Atlanta’s dating scene isn’t very appealing.

I tried to defend our city, you guys! I told them that there are many perfectly normal and sane single people living here. Of course, we have our share of misadventures, but doesn’t every city?

Why do you …

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Dating Debate: Are men pickier?

If I had a magic wand that could grant single women something they could use (I decided not to make a dirty joke here. You’re welcome) – it would be the gift of being choosy. That’s right, women who decide to become more selective often have better dating experiences. Don’t argue with me, it’s true!

I realized a long time ago that smart men screen a lot better than some women. I don’t know if it is because women are hard wired to be nurturing and understanding, or at times we just get stuck on stupid. Women are often criticized for having checklists, but if we really adhered to those, would men even get anywhere with women?

Why does it seem harder for women to be pickier than our male counterparts? I have seen dudes dismiss a woman with the incorrect butt-to-waist ratio. Ladies? Oh, we forgive physical imperfections, extra pounds, bad credit, and at times bad hygiene!

But…WHY?

Is it because women watch too many romantic comedies, or read too many romance novels? Why do …

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Ladies! Show a little more skin

I was asked to weigh in on some dating advice that a young lady received from a male friend: dress more provocatively. Now, it’s no secret that men are visual creatures who respond to pretty things. Obviously, women want to be attractive to men, but does the way she dresses – or how little she covers up, make any difference to most men?

I ask because men have approached me fresh off a run, looking a hot mess in sweats and a baseball cap with zero skin showing. How would a change in clothing really impact a person’s chances in attracting someone they actually are interested in?

I am not a fan of changing up who you are or pretending to be something that you are not just to get the attention of someone. If a woman is comfortable dressing conservatively, she should continue to do so. While there is nothing wrong with mixing things up, it is not beneficial to completely switch up your style of dress in hopes of turning a head or two. What happens when you revert back to …

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Dating: Are you open to new things?

I used to think that in order to have a successful dating experience, you should connect with people that share the same likes and interests. Although I believe this to still be true, I have also discovered that when you meet someone with different interests, good things can happen. Of course, you have to be open-minded in order for good things to happen! Meeting open-minded people can become increasingly difficult as you get older though *cough*..older folks get set in their ways.

I admit that I have been guilty of it too, at times. What can I say? I get into that “I like what I like” mode and it takes a lot to convince me to try new things. It’s not until I spend time with someone I like who pulls me into experiencing things I would normally scoff and consider “not my thing.” I think we end up missing out on a lot of experiences with that mindset. Why are we so adamant about staying in our comfort zones?

Are you one to be open-minded and try new things? Have you ever …

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Dating: What happened to creativity?

One of the common complaints I hear about dating in Atlanta is the complete lack of creativity. From the way single people approach each other – to the first date and beyond – zero creativeness. Dinner and a movie- texting to ask someone out- do you think we get in a boring rut when it comes to dating?

A lot of guys tell me they don’t put a whole lot of extra effort in making an impression unless the woman has that special “something” about them. So if a woman wants creative dates, she has to show and prove a lot before a guy decides her worthy of that effort? Is that fair?

When was the last time you had a really creative date planned? What is the best creative date you have?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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How sexy is your.. credit score?!

Recently, a guy on twitter declared “Women, you really want to impress me? Don’t post pictures of you in a sexy pose. Post up your credit reports from the top three credit bureaus!”. I’m paraphrasing, but it was pretty funny and kind of telling!

With today’s economy, men are working harder and harder for their money. They are just as impressed by financially healthy women as they are by women who are physically healthy! Perhaps even more impressed! If this isn’t a sign of the times, I don’t know what is!

How compatible you are is very important – and comparing credit scores could reveal a lot about what and how you two value the same things. There are even online dating sites that are catering to this notion. These websites let you sign up with your credit score rating as your main attraction!

What do you think this means for the state of dating? Is this yet another reminder of how much dating has changed?

Would you ever ask a date about their credit score?

By Wise Diva, …

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