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2012 Dating Vent

The best part of having dating misadventures is the lessons learned and the wisdom that comes from them (see what I did there?). So as the year is nearing it’s final end, I think it is important to air out any dating grievances you have. That way you can clean slate your dating record and start out on a positive note.

It’s been a good year of single life and boo’d up life, some make ups and break ups. Currently in a holding pattern with my beau so I don’t have many grievances, thankfully, but I do have a few:

1. Why is it SO hard for people to be loyal? I know it’s human nature to be self serving jerks, but would it kill us to actually be reliable and loyal? Especially to the people that have been loyal to you. I won’t hold grudges but my memory is long.

2. Sometimes people talk themselves out of relationships, romance, or sex. Know when to shut up and learn to recognize body language and facial expressions. If you are mid-conversation and realize that someone is looking at you as if you have 3 heads, find out why. If you offended them, turned them off, apologize.

3. Focus! There are many single people that are focus challenged. They can’t focus on a particular person to pursue and date. Or worse, they can’t put their phone down and focus on the date. Major turn off. Who or what is so important that you have to ignore someone sitting across from you? FOCUS.

I feel better already! What do you want to vent about? What dating misadventures did you have this year that made you wiser?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

113 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

December 21st, 2012
8:46 am

What dating misadventures did you have this year that made you wiser?

Feed Me..Feed Me More!

Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas Everybody!

Lady~smirk!

December 21st, 2012
8:55 am

Merry Christmas Ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

MsAtl

December 21st, 2012
9:02 am

Morning All!

I see Diva is really trying to set it off in here this morning, huh? Lol. Way to get the conversation flowing once everyone checks in.

I think Diva said a mouthful with her first point! I am by nature a loyal and giving person and I expect somewhere in the same ballpark in return. I expect loyalty and command respect at a minimum. At this point in my life, I am not very tolerant of B.S., shenanigans and tomfoolery. If that is your thing, then you are looking at the wrong woman.

Other than that- I wish all of my blog acquaintances a happy holiday season: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, whatever you celebrate; be safe and enjoy!

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
9:07 am

Good morning,

Be back in a few

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
9:08 am

Good morning.

#1 dating grievance: people don’t take time to cultivate a relationship. It’s a smorgasbord out there and too many jump ship trying to sample everything.

#2 already knew this: take the person at their word. If they say something, believe what they say and don’t try to twist it to fit your needs or wants!

#3 Nothing wrong with cleaning house: Get rid of those that don’t fit your plans for YOUR future!

MsAtl ~ I expect respect at the maximum level. Start with respect and a firmer foundation is laid!

MsAtl

December 21st, 2012
9:20 am

Leggs- I think we both expect the same thing. When I say at a minimum, that means that wothout respect at the outset, this isn’t going anywhere. I agree with you on taking time to cultivate a friendship. Some folks go into dating like its a buffet.

MsML5

December 21st, 2012
9:22 am

good morning all!
#3 Nothing wrong with cleaning house: Get rid of those that don’t fit your plans for YOUR future……
already started cleaning house last month! I needed to start this one early.

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
9:33 am

Gotcha MsAtl!!!

disco

December 21st, 2012
9:33 am

good morning you guys. thanks for showing up. lol. dating vent. I’m sure I’ve got some tales to tell but my head’s not right yet. I do know I immediately thought of little things like the guy who puts his hand on your knee/leg/thigh/whatever and you politely remove said hand. dude gives it a minute or two or three and said hand is back again. dude if I wanted your hand there I wouldn’t have moved it in the first freaking place!!!!! now you bout to make me mad. I know I’ve had several instances of “where do you want to go/wherever you want to go”. that irks me too. one guy showed up to take me to dinner with no plan and I just said never mind. I’ll find something to eat at home.

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
9:34 am

I have too MsML5!

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
9:36 am

Dating grievance – Men stop being to hell bent on keeping a wall up between your woman and your emotional side. We need and desire to connect with you so quit making it so difficult. Every chick is not out to take you for all you’ve got or fight against you. Some of us actually want to be fighting on the same side as you together so we can both WIN.

.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
9:40 am

I had a long chat with a guy friend of mine and he said he feels that (especially in AA r’ships) the women never have a chance to really get to be happy about their relationship or things that happen in their lives. He was like, when it comes to getting married, our women can’t be that happy because you’ve been with this dude for x amount of years, had x amount of kids but for him to want to marry you it has to be something done to just shut you up.Or it’s like, well we;ve been together for so long, i guess I’ll go ahead and do that. Why dont the men feel just as excited as the women to want to marry them?

He also so said even when it comes to getting pregnant, a woman can’t really be happy about that either. It’s like she’s stressed on what the dude will say, if he’ll try to convince her to have an abor tion, or if she has it, is he going to be a father to the child and want to make the family work. And he admits he’s guilty of all those things. His gf is currently pregnant and he said he had to sit down and think about her and he definitely wants to make this a good experience so she can stand tall and be proud to have him there and proud about having their child etc He said we really don’t have that same opportunity to enjoy these life’s leaps.

MsAtl

December 21st, 2012
10:12 am

Slim- I am really liking your 9:36.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
10:16 am

MsAtl – Thanks ;-)

Last night I thought for a sure a tree was going to fall on the house. That wind was kicking last night wasn’t it? And I forgot my scarf today :cry:

disco

December 21st, 2012
10:19 am

slim – re inclement weather. a friend emailed me this morning talking about she felt like she was in a horror movie last night with the howling wind, first flickering lights and finally power failure. she said she had to dig out extra blankets to keep warm. I don’t know what went down in my neighborhood because I slept right through it.

MsAtl

December 21st, 2012
10:22 am

Yes, the wind woke me up. Sounded like a break-in at first, lol.

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
10:23 am

Morning All!!

Disco, your post cracked me up!!

Leggs – When I “cleaned house” back at the end of 2006, it was the beginning of a whole new life for me! The best decision I ever made, and new doors began to open, not just in terms of romantic relationships, but friendships and career. Start fresh, quit hanging on to the old and stale and LIVE!!

I’m pulling from Slim’s 9:40 and telling everyone out there to relax and enjoy whatever stage your romantic life is in. Learn to enjoy the journey. There will always be major decisions to make, like where the 2 of you plan to take things, but in the meantime, enjoy yourself. Have fun dating, engaging, having babies, getting engaged, married, whatever.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
10:28 am

Leggs – I’ve been carrying around a scratch off ticket that I won another $3 on. So last night I decided to finally get another ticket and I won $10. Woo hoo hoo right. I never win anything. Now i’m trying to decide if I want one $10 tix or should I try for 2 $5 tickets. Hmmm, decisions decisions.

disco – I didn’t experience a loss of power but I did keep waking up because stuff was blowing into the windows, casting shadowy images on the blinds lol

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
10:32 am

Why dont the men feel just as excited as the women to want to marry them?

Slim – A lot of men do, I know my husband was. Personally, if a guy proposed and then acted like he was marching to his execution, I would tell him to keep it. Sure, I know most dudes won’t get into or be as excited about the actual wedding plans. But alot, if they are sincere, are excited about finding a great woman that agrees to be their wife.

disco

December 21st, 2012
10:38 am

kimmie – it’s funny but it’s not. I get tired of telling grown azz men when they are acting like horny teenagers. it’s not cute, I’m not flattered. grow the eff up. just me though. and another thing, (lol – diva shouldn’t have said vent), I get sick of dudes with their tired azz sexual innuendos. like if they say something clever my panties will fall off. really? it’s not that real, you’re not that funny. you haven’t said anything I haven’t heard before.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
10:39 am

kimmie – Of course I wasn’t referring to ALL men, just a lot of them. I’m glad that you find your soulmate and he see’s you as an asset and gem in his life. Many however, see it as a death sentence.

disco

December 21st, 2012
10:42 am

slim – you’ve seen snapped and who the bleep did I marry. for some it is a death sentence. lol.

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
10:48 am

Slim – I got ya! I know it’s not all men. But that was one of my “discoveries” when I cleaned house back in 2006. I was under the impression that almost NO guy wanted to get married unless he had a gun to his head! I realized it was the men I was meeting. It was refreshing to see and meet men that were actually happy in their relationships. Even now I have to catch myself from being on guard, after all this time knowing my husband. I have to tell myself “yes, he really wants to be here with you!”. It’s sad, but that’s what a life of building up walls and being on guard to protect yourself will do to you.

Disco – I love SNAPPED!

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
10:49 am

disco – Yup, watch those shows all the time and you are RIGHT :lol:

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
10:49 am

Disco – To your 10:38 – it does get old! Look like they themselves would get tired of it!

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
10:51 am

disco ~ I didn’t hear anything last night, and I slept with one of my windows open. Woke to feeling like I slept in the refrigerator!!!

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
10:55 am

SlimNu ~ take the money.

kimmie ~ I’ve been cleaning house and it feels so good! Good riddance, unblocking my blessings. You don’t really know how heave that dead weight is until you throw off to the side!

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
10:55 am

how heavy…

disco

December 21st, 2012
10:56 am

O/T – I took a bunch of books to a neighborhood bookstore for credit last week. called myself cleaning through the stacks. I’m sitting here going through my “to read” list since I’ve got to use my credit to buy more books. lol. it’s a vicious cycle.

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
10:59 am

Even now I have to catch myself from being on guard, after all this time knowing my husband. I have to tell myself “yes, he really wants to be here with you!”. It’s sad, but that’s what a life of building up walls and being on guard to protect yourself will do to you.

kimmie – As true as this is for many people it’s sort of sad at the same time to get locked into thinking that life either doesn’t exist, or just isn’t meant for you. So i’m right there with ya but i’m glad Love won over in your situation. Wishing you even more successes in 2013…especially since we all made it through the world ending last nigh ;-)

Jake-SPJTWB

December 21st, 2012
11:04 am

Peeks in, and I see That I have you all to myself right now…but ya’ll venting, I’m leaving…lol

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
11:08 am

Jake – Mmm huh, prime example of my 9:36 lol

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
11:10 am

Slim – On Steve Harvey this morning, Nephew Tommy asked Steve to give him some money to throw a big party. He said he didn’t say borrow cause the world is going to end so he won’t need it back!LOL!!

Have any of you seen that show on Centric called Almost Married? It cronicals this couple as they get engaged and plan their life. Between scenes, they give their thoughts on everything that went on to a counselor. The dude proposed to the woman after only knowing her about 4 months. They are both New Yorkers, but he lives in ATL. After he proposed, he moved her down here. Every time she mentions setting a date or making some plans for the wedding, he trips. On one hand, he says she’s the love of his life and he is happy to be marrying her, but on the other hand, every time she even brings the wedding up, he second guesses whether he did the right thing by proposing. That’s what I was thinking about when I read Slim’s earlier post. If I were she, I would give him that ring back. He straight up gets on my nerves watching him!

Exiled!

December 21st, 2012
11:11 am

Slim…how can your guy friend feel that way when he himself aint a woman….he is feeling for women, how so?

Now if chic has been in a relationship with another dude,got cpple of kids and now is with another dude…u cant blame him for being apprehensive about taking it anywhere beyond just shackkking, will you..any woman should not….

M maost men will take advantage of that kinda of woman….in a ‘good’ way…she aint all over the place like a childless chic,more stable..she is more committed than the dude,she wants stability..he got regular puddy…she needs help here and there with cash for kids food and child care…transport….she can cook coz she is a mother so he is fed too..did i say regular puddy….the thing he wont do is marry her….

Disco…putting his hand on your knee is a try out…..to see if u going to feel same way…a man cant judge a woman just by what she says..some front like they dont want it untill u touch them and she starts to breath..eghhh, eghhhh,eghhh…hyperventilating subtle moans… :lol: .. so u judge her.more by what she says ‘NO’ to…in the shenaneegans side of tham thangs….feel me..

Bluzgirl

December 21st, 2012
11:12 am

Good morning and Happy Friday!!!

Haven’t had time to look over all the comments yet…

I could vent about A LOT from this year, but I’m focusing on the positive.

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
11:15 am

kimmie ~ I feel the same way. I’m not a bitter person, but I sure hope my fiestiness and low tolerance for BS doesn’t take over some times. Men can be so predictable you want to tar and feather them sometimes. You have inspired me and I wish you the best going into 2013. You found a gem!

SlimNu: Life always happens

December 21st, 2012
11:16 am

kimmie – I have not seen the show but that’s a good example of that too. Thanks!

Exiled – Nobody said anything about a man having feelings of a woman. I’m not going to get into it with you today. You only see what you want to see and discard the rest.

disco

December 21st, 2012
11:17 am

jake – speaking of you leaving until the “hen party” is over, another vent I have is guys that can’t take the bad with the good. as long as I’m all happy and bubbly and in good spirits they are right there. as soon as I huff and puff and get a little fly they jumping behind boulders and peeking out waiting to see when it’s safe again. it’s never safe again. lol. calling me days later talking about “you feel better now”. get your punk azz off my phone.

kimmie

December 21st, 2012
11:21 am

Leggs – Thanks! I wish you the absolute best too. Everyone for that matter! Life is too short to not enjoy at least some of it!LOL!!

Leggs, just be you. Someone will appreciate it, I guarantee!

Leggs

December 21st, 2012
11:22 am

disco ~ umm, are we related?

Exiled!

December 21st, 2012
11:24 am

he said he feels that (especially in AA r’ships) the women never have a chance to really get to….

@Slim…….so what does this mean……..??

its not like i had a dream about what i just said…i was paraphrasing what ur friend said.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2012
11:30 am

Can u take his bad and the good Dee….??

disco

December 21st, 2012
11:37 am

ex – believe it or not I enjoy the bad. I think everyone ought to put their bad out there first. the good side is easy to deal with. it’s the bad side you need to know if you can handle or tolerate. when friends call me upset or angry I get a tremendous kick out of it. not out of their problems but out of their venting. it validates that it’s not just me.

leggs – we might just be. all this anonymity, you never know.

Jake-SPJTWB

December 21st, 2012
11:44 am

Disco-you calling me a punk….lol.

Slim-what the hell is your buddy on, if a he been withcha more than 5years and got multiple kids witcha, he need to wife you? But I do feel him on the being happy with our stage in the relationship without target dates.

Exiled!

December 21st, 2012
11:48 am

@Disco..gimme an example of a real life situation your friend wld call to u and vent about ?

as for sexual innuendos…..do u rock ur clothes real fly u think….i know u partial to ur own dressing somewhat, but still….if a dude gives u a dress compliement, u wont take it…..or u misconstrue it?

lee

December 21st, 2012
11:51 am

Slim your 9:36 comment – is right on task for me also.
I hope 2013 is going to be a great year. whether i find someone or not I have plans and intend to keep going toward my goals.
Merry Christmas everyone

MsAtl

December 21st, 2012
11:52 am

Disco- I am with you on your 11:17. If you are with me, you accept all of me, good and not so good, the same way I will do you. You cannot expect what you are not willing to be, give or do. Or as Lyfe Jennings said: Don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime.

Jake-SPJTWB

December 21st, 2012
12:02 pm

Speaking of Lyfe Jennings, he could stay out the Pen, but I appreciate the music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkpN3uiZ-Ew

disco

December 21st, 2012
12:02 pm

ex – what don’t they vent about? their kids, their jobs, their husbands/boyfriends, inlaws. they vent about their lives. a compliment is a compliment, an innuendo is an innuendo. I can accept a compliment. I don’t generally roll with the innuendos, tacky bs is what it is. I’m talking the ones where you are talking about something completely neutral and safe and dude blurts in with something totally out of line.

Jake-SPJTWB

December 21st, 2012
12:02 pm